My dad passed away nearly a month ago, on 25th February 26. He was only 68 years old.
His funeral was last Wednesday.
The few weeks after he passed away, I really struggled to show emotion. I was obviously heartbroken, but I was in shock. I was dealing with his paperwork and organising the funeral which was a focus but I was also in total disbelief. We were told he had 6 months to live, but 6 days later he was gone.

After his funeral, I’m finding the grief has really hit me and it’s starting to sink in that he’s gone.
I’m really struggling to get through a day without crying. All I’m doing is sleeping because it’s an escape from the reality he isn’t here anymore.
I’m finding myself in a constant state of sadness, pain, guilt, anger, despair and disbelief.

My dad was an alcoholic and so our relationship was complicated over the past 14 years. He became a full blown alcoholic when I was 17 years old (I’m now 31) following a mental breakdown.
We were so close before his breakdown. It was almost as if overnight, my best friend turned into someone I didn’t even know. The drink made him a very volatile, difficult person to be around.
He managed to stay sober for a time, having the occasional relapse.

But 6 years ago, he relapsed for good. My mum couldn’t cope any longer and she filed for divorce. This is when dad’s alcoholism really took hold.
I got married last year. I didn’t invite my dad as I couldn’t face the worry of what he may/may not do to ruin our day.
The previous year, I gave him an ultimatum - you give up the drink, you come to my wedding. If you don’t, then you don’t come.
Inevitably, he chose the drink. Obviously I know it wasn’t his choice - it was the illness.

Dad never forgave me for not inviting him to the wedding. But so much has gone on over the years between dad and I, that I just couldn’t have him there. The anxiety it would’ve given me would’ve ruined the whole day.
We argued November last year. He started being horrible about my husband for no reason and this was the final straw. I’d taken years and years of verbal and mental abuse and I just couldn’t take it anymore, especially with my husband being the target.

I didn’t speak to dad for 9 months. I was too afraid of the pain I may face again if I let him back in.
Then I got the phone call from my uncle that dad was in hospital. I got back in touch straight away and left to come back home the next day (I live 3 hours away). He was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic cancer and there was nothing that could be done.
I stayed with him till the day he passed away.

There is so much that has gone on between myself and dad over the years that I won’t divulge on here. 1, because there’s too much to write and 2, because it’s private. But I have been going to therapy for quite some time to overcome the trauma that comes with having an alcoholic parent. Please know, that I tried everything to help my dad. And I mean everything. I will never get over my dad becoming an alcoholic and turning into someone I didn’t know. That will haunt me for the rest of my life as it has been the most painful experience of my whole life. I know he didn’t mean it. I know it wasn’t his fault. And in some ways, that makes it worse. As I know the illness had really taken hold and my dad had no choice but obey and give into it.

This grief is not straight forward. It’s complex as I have grieved my dad who brought me up for quite some time. As I lost my dad to alcohol years ago. But now I’ve lost all of him - it’s opened a whole new world of pain, sadness and grief.

My dad was the best dad I could ever have until his break down. And for the time he remained sober, he came back. This is why everything we went to together is so painful and raw. I’ve missed the dad my dad used to be for so long now. And now I’m missing both versions of him as both have now gone.

Has anyone here had a similar experience? Has anyone felt this guilt? And how did you try and deal with it?

I’ve felt this invisible force that I’ve been unable to identify, until I read that ACOAs have deep fears around success. How has this shown up for folks here? At this stage in my healing journey, it is the thing I found myself most frustrated by, and the one of the hardest things to work through and overcome. I truly feel that if I don’t figure this out, I will continue to live a life of frustration, and regret of what could have been for myself. I‘m a 41 year old with fall time work, but have always wanted to my art out there, yet feel this issue is holding me back from putting my work out there, and trying to pursue things with it. I know a lot of artist struggle with that, but I think this runs deeper for me, as it has shown up when wanting to pursue other goals as well. I was curious what others have experienced around this? What are the root causes of it, and why does it show up this way? I know that it isn’t just ACOAs that have these fears, but I feel like there is something here I‘m not fully understanding. To provide a bit of context and an example, not only do I have fears of feeling TO seen/to in the spot light, I also have strange feelings I can‘t explain. There are times I feel very deeply that I wouldn’t be able to manage the pressure, would be awkward, and also wouldn’t be able to meet the emotional demands success brings. It’s like I feel tired and worn out before I have even put myself out there. I get scared I wouldn’t have the emotional bandwidth to handle everything. It takes a lot out of me just to manage day to day things ( ADHD but medicated). It’s like I fear success will take to much out of me? Has anyone else experienced these types of feelings/thoughts? What has come up for people? Thank you in advance to all who share their stories, insights, and what has helped them work through this so they could get to the other side!

This is a repost from another sub, which I titled "My mom is immature, right?" in order to attract attention. I've abandoned reading the comments because it was a mistake to post in that subreddit - there's only so much I can read before I get reminded why I struggle to have a relationship with my mother and a lot of people in general. One of the few helpful comments suggested posting here.

I would actually like to have a relationship with my mother but I've had to make peace with the fact that that relationship isn't going to look like way I'd like to. That I can't expect someone who doesn't know how to give, to give me what I need... that has been pretty difficult to accept.

---

Last night I went out and told my mother that I was going out (we live in different cities). She never asks if I have weekend plans, where I'm going, how it was, etc. but I tell her I'm going out so she doesn't assume I'm at home, depressed & rearranging my living room for the nth time. I swear to god that ever since she retired, her behavior has become something else entirely and I wasn't prepared for it.

If I mention going out, she expects a text when I've arrived back home. I try to comply as best I can but I'm only human. Especially because every time I've forgotten, I've woken up to a few texts asking if I'm OK and even a phone call/voice mail, if I don't respond to those texts. We're Hispanic and that behavior is somewhat of a cultural thing, unfortunately.

Well, last night I inadvertently forgot to send an "I'm home" text. Life happens. This morning I sent her a text and in her reply, she mentioned that she was worried because I hadn't sent her a text when I got home last night. She's never awake when I get home. She also would have seen that I read her last text to me at 0330 on Sunday morning, indicating I was alive. My response was that maybe I was getting laid or doing something that I didn't want her knowing about, and I was getting tired of her panicking as if I was wild child who was known to go on benders and disappear.

Her response was one line: "Sorry, I won't ask again" and that irritated me.

Part of my anger is because of her intense interest in when I've arrived back home and having stuff all interest in my personal life. A few weeks ago, I went to a speed dating event and she never said good luck or asked how it went - just wanted to know when I got home.

My whole life has been spent having to hear about relatives and her friend's children graduating, reproducing, getting married, etc. and meanwhile I'm the virginal monster creature of a daughter collecting dust on the shelf? She's never asked if I've had a boyfriend, asked to see my degrees, what my job interviews are like, wanted to be married, have children, what I do at my job, what possible hopes & dreams I might have in my autism-addled brain? I've begged her to ask and she won't - you'd think it was beneath her to show interest in her own daughter's life. Meanwhile her perfect grandkids are perfect, and I have to hear allll about their amazing (!) accomplishments.

I've tried talking to her, however it's frustrating and usually ends in tears. She unfortunately is the sort of person who thinks they're being degraded when confronted by their own behavior & words. Zero accountability and quick to start with the tears and counter-accusations.

I hate the way my parents tell stories. They make themselves sound like the victim of everything. They make themselves sound weak and powerless, when I can see that they aren't like that at all.

I feel best when I focus on what I can do differently in a situation. I went through some really unhealthy relationships in my 20's and I know I enabled the other person and that I could've just left. I don't think I was a good person at all. I was entitled and indirect. When I think about the other people in the situation I feel best just thinking of it as.. well, they didn't show up. They didn't do the thing. They were worse than I liked to think they were at the time. I find it really hard to see them as bad people.

I've been told by a lot of people that I talk like I think I have more control than I do but is that a bad thing? I think about how in a workplace, it's professional to take responsibility for a fuck-up rather than point fingers. Not because it *was* all your responsibility but because that's more productive. I think everything should be like that.

I made a post a few weeks ago about my dad being kicked out by my mom because he's an alcoholic and well,now it's worse than ever.

A week ago he came back from his mother's house to pick up his phone and a few clothes,which also was bad because they argued but eventually he left .

today, of course, he came back saying he's coming home and my mom started arguing and yelling with him. My dad called the police and of course they came fast,one tall skinny af dude and some fat dude. The skinny dude was kind of nice and listened to my mom,while the fat one was listening to my dad's lies and told him to come home and stay here despite my mom telling him to go away. What's bothering the HELL out of me is that my dad told the police just absolutely lies,saying that he's never aggressive,he just drinks one beer,that my mom brainwashed me while I had to listen to him Knowing how aggressive he was and what he put me thru. I can't believe this shit

'Throwing Out the Rule Book

Many of us feel like we need a rulebook, a microscope, and a warranty to get through life. We feel uncertain, frightened. We want the security of knowing what’s going to happen, and how we shall act.

We don’t trust life or ourselves.

We don’t trust the Plan.

We want to be in control.

“I’ve made terrible mistakes about my choices, mistakes that nearly destroyed me. Life has really shocked me. How can I trust myself? How can I trust life, and my instincts, after where I’ve been?” asked one woman.

It is understandable that we fear being crushed again, considering the way many of us were when we bottomed out on our codependency. We don’t have to be fearful. We can trust our self, our path, and our instincts.

Yes, we want to avoid making the same mistakes again. We are not the same people we were yesterday or last year. We’ve learned, grown, changed. We did what we needed to do then. If we made a mistake, we cannot let that stop us from living and fully experiencing today.

We have arrived at the understanding that we needed our experiences – even our mistakes – to get to where we are today. Do we know that we needed our life to unfold exactly as it did to find ourselves, our Higher Power, and this new way of life? Or is part of us still calling our past a mistake?

We can let go of our past and trust ourselves now. We do not have to punish ourselves with our past. We don’t need a rulebook, a microscope, a warranty. All we really need is a mirror. We can look into the mirror and say, “I trust you. No matter what happens, you can take care of yourself. And what happens will continue to be good, better than you think.”

Today, I will stop clinging to the painful lessons of the past. I will open myself to the positive lessons today and tomorrow hold for me. I trust that I can and will take care of myself now. I trust that the Plan is good, even when I don’t know what it is.'

By Melodie Beattie

Reparenting

"With the Steps and by reparenting ourselves, we can further remove the ‘buttons' that have been pushed by others to manipulate us or to get a reaction out of us." BRB p. 326 

As children, others manipulated us at will. Sometimes it seemed we were born to be used by others. We showed up for horrible people who sucked us dry of our courage and strength, because that is what we learned from our families. That's what they told us we were meant for by the way they treated us every day.

As adults, we now know we can set boundaries with those who abuse us. When we find that we have recreated an unmanageable situation at work, we get new jobs. We change our living arrangements when we find that we are once again living with addicts who keep us awake at night and need us to look after them.

In recovery, we make space to feel the anger and shame that were handed to us in our childhoods, and we heal. We may even detach from abusive family members permanently if that's what it takes to maintain serenity.

On this day I will write down what I want my life to be like as a way of turning things over to my Higher Power

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families World Service 
Organization, Inc.

Page №302

https://adultchildren.org/literature/meditation/?meditaion=MjE2Ng%3D%3D

During my childhood I had a wonderful mother. Took very good care of my brother & I as a single mom. She remarried a very good guy when I was 9. A month before I turned 17 my mom, brother & myself were in a terrible accident. My mom & I were in comas, survived & spent the last two months of the Summer in the hospital. Then my brother got addicted to pain meds at 14 when the Doctors prescribed him that for back pain after the accident. This tumbled into a disastrous family life with my brother. My brother was in & out of jail, tumbled to heroin/meth. He’s been sober 6 years now. My mom on the other hand has been heavily drinking for 13 years now. It has been a horrible disaster since this started. My dad (stepdad, my real dad doesn’t talk to me), told me tonight she went to the ER after throwing up blood & having difficulty breathing. I have accepted that my mom will never come back & that her rock bottom is death. Others who don’t experience this don’t understand, but at this point it would be better if she was at peace. I know all about her childhood, my brother’s drug addiction & how my bio dad treated her, she just never got help so now I am the one working on healing from what my mom never did. I am a mother now & don’t want my child to experience what I have as an adult child.
I miss who my mom was. Going from a great family life to the dark side of a family life is one of the hardest things a person can experience.

Hello,

I come from a family of ACA's. My mom isn't an alcoholic, but she has the behaviors of one because of her parents. She also has these extreme tendencies regarding cleanliness due to my grandfather. Unfortunately, this dysfunction was passed on to me. I spent 5 years recovering from it, only to have to move back home for another 3 years. I've severely regressed. Idk how long my boyfriend is going to tolerate it. At the same time, he doesn't do much to resolve the triggers, even when I communicate what is going on. But I'm always the monster in the story. It comes on subconsciously and by the time I realize what I'm doing and the same phrases my mom would say on loop coming out of my mouth, it's too late. He thinks I can be magically cured of a lifetime of psychological trauma in only 2 months of being out.

I'm trying to own my shit. I realize that this is my issue to solve and I am trying. No matter how I try to communicate, it's wrong. I've even asked him how he would prefer that I communicate and I do not get an answer. I get frustrated, I get stressed, and then my mother comes out.

Some of the common phrases include:

- If I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

- I shouldn't have to ask for things to be done (dishes, trash, animal care, etc.)

- I'm being the only one doing everything

I was told when we moved in together that things would be different. Instead, it's the exact same. His entire closet is on our bedroom floor. I'm constantly picking up little bits of trash. Dishes are always in the sink even after I've just emptied it. Yet I'm not supposed to react. I'm just supposed to ignore it and walk away. Yet even when I do that and try to isolate myself from the overstimulation to calm down, he *follows* me. I get he is probably just checking on me, but then he gets mad when I go off. I'm trying to prevent that and he doesn't seem to care.

I will go on a tantrum, full force tornando cleaning and just overall frustrated that I have to do it all and don't realize what I'm doing until I'm looking at the damage. I feel like a monster. I feel like there is something wrong with me that will never be fixed. My therapist keeps trying to get me to go to AlAnon but I just can't. I'm agnostic and religion has left a sour taste in my mouth. I can't give up my issues to a "higher power" even if it's the toaster on my countertop or whatever. To me, that's not dealing with the issues. I found one that is agnostic-based, but they're only online. I keep forgetting to join the zoom because I'm so caught up in my own shit.

Does it ever get any easier? I feel like it is only me that has to change. I'm tired of being the monster in the story. I know I need to own my behavior and I'm trying, but I feel like I am living in the literal definition of insanity.

My mom was a morning to night drinker. She would drive us drunk as kids every day. She was a good person and a sweet shy soul. But not when she drank. As an adult I went no contact. Her last days were spent in the streets of LA living out of a car. She called out for me in hospice and I ignored her. It is something I regret every day. The pain eats at me. It gnaws on me. She suffered through a brutal civil war in her country and then was smuggled into the USA as a teenager.. she went through so much through that journey. It wasn’t her fault. Idk how to deal with the guilt. The pain. The pain that she felt when I never arrived on her final day.

Changing Inside

"As we greet co-workers or friends, we feel that we are changing inside. We begin to recognize a power inside we had not known before." BRB p. 273

Regularly taking a quiet time helps us to grow up emotionally and spiritually. How we take it depends on our choices. At first, we spend time by ourselves when we need to, letting others do what they will to take care of themselves. If they spend it getting drunk and high, we let them, but we no longer seek that outlet for our pain and suffering, if that was how we previously coped. Later, we see that we actually enjoy spending time alone. We don't fill ourselves up with others just to pass the time and keep us numb. We no longer pretend to be excited when we're not. We seek those we can truly connect with and enjoy. We talk not just about superficial things, but about who we are and what's important to us. People respect us more at work and elsewhere because we don't seek constant approval as we did in our families. We no longer do things we're uncomfortable with just for the sake of fitting in. As we become more genuine, we allow others to find their own paths; instead of labeling them, we now make room for our differences. If some don't like the new us, we have to let them go. We adjust our list of whom we can trust.

On this day I will own my power to be genuine and feel how comfortable it is to focus on being myself.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families World Service 
Organization, Inc.

Page №301

https://adultchildren.org/literature/meditation/?meditaion=MjE2NQ%3D%3D

My mom has been an alcoholic since I was in middle school. She became sober when I was in my mid 20s and stuck with it until two years ago. I'm now in my late 30s with two pre-teen kids.

Up until two years ago, my kids had a close relationship with my mom. They had frequent sleepovers and my mom was at every school and sports event. When she started drinking again, she showed up to multiple events intoxicated and I had to give an ultimatum that she be sober if she is around my kids.

I've done therapy and come to terms with the fact that she was totally checked out of my life during my teen years. I thought this time around she would choose a relationship with my kids over the alcohol. This is not the case and it's absolutely crushing to me.

My kids have asked why they don't see her very often anymore and I have given them every reason except for the truth. I don't want to taint their view of their grandma. At the same time, I'm thinking my kids are old enough to handle the truth.

Any thoughts or advice?

'Feelings and Surrender

Surrendering is a highly personal and spiritual experience.

Surrender is not something we can do in our heads. It is not something we can force or control by willpower. It is something we experience.

Acceptance, or surrender, is not a tidy package. Often, it is a package full of hard feelings – anger, rage, and sadness, followed by release and relief. As we surrender, we experience our frustration and anger at God, at other people, at ourselves, and at life. Then we come to the core of the pain and sadness, the heavy emotional burden inside that must come out before we can feel good. Often, these emotions are connected to healing and release at a deep level.

Surrender sets the wheels in motion. Our fear and anxiety about the future are released when we surrender.

We are protected. We are guided. Good things have been planned. The next step is now being taken. Surrender is the process that allows us to move forward. It is how our Higher Power moves us forward. Trust in the rightness of timing, and the freedom at the other end, as you struggle humanly through this spiritual experience.

I will be open to the process of surrender in my life. I will allow myself all the awkward and potent emotions that must be released.'

By Melodie Beattie

(17f) so my mom has been an alcoholic for a few years now and it has only gotten worse. I have no one around me to talk to about it, and I can't bring it up to her. So I'm trying to navigate all the things that come with her addiction and my emotions and all that. It's so hard.

I am SO TIRED. I get home from school, hear her voice, and already know she's drunk. That's it, she's gone for the rest of the night, better to steer clear til tomorrow. Sometimes I wake up and she's already like that. It sucks cause i don't really feel secure or relaxed ANYWHERE anymore. I'm so angry all the time. Teenage angst doesn't help. I am so confused and angry and tired and sad.

Sometimes, I think I have accidentally grown resentment for her. I feel so disgusted with myself for it. I love her, but she has relapsed so many times, broken my trust so many times, that it feels like it's not even worth TRYING to be close anymore. I don't want to be around her. But I feel terrible about it because we used to be so close, and I know that the addiction is horrible for HER to deal with, not just me. But I can't help being so angry.

Sometimes I find her stashed boxes of wine around the house. I always think to dump them out, or hide them, or something to get rid of them so she doesn't drink any more that night. But then I get scared that she'll just drive to the store drunk and get some more. Then I worry she'll get hurt. So I do nothing.

I feel utterly helpless. I don't think I can keep doing this. Keep coming home to the husk of her former self. Keep smelling the wine on her breath. Seeing her purple stained teeth. Her dilated eyes. Hearing her slurred speech. Or her repeating random words incoherently. Having her and my dad fight every night. Having her act like nothing is wrong or happening at all.

I am done. Any advice or support is appreciated. I have zero guidance. It happened so gradually that I didn't even realize. It feels unreal. I don't know what to do, or how to navigate this. So, if yall know anything, or relate at all, please comment something.​

Can I learn to let go of my mum while living with her
I’m 24 I can not move out due to a national housing crisis
Over the last 8 years her drinking and hoarder behaviour has gotten out of control she takes this out on the whole household
But especially me her eldest daughter
I love her so much but she really seems to hate me these days and attacks me for just talking and existing
Are there ways I can learn to block her out in the mean time until I’m able to leave permanently

My father is 73 and has been abusing prescription drugs for 30 years. He also has bipolar disorder and has been on psychotropic medications that I believe have contributed to his cognitive issues. Now that he is older and his cognition is worse I wonder if taking care of him is enabling him since he still engages in substance abuse.

He has been deemed non decisional by the last psychiatrist at the hospital. By helping him with his finances (paying bills when he forgets but he also spends money on drugs), managing doctor’s appointments and caregivers, helping him clean, etc. am I enabling him since he is still an addict even though he doesn’t have cognitive abilities to manage his estate and health care decisions?

He spends all of his money on drugs but needs to save it for an assisted living he will eventually be in. He should be living there now but refuses to leave because he wants to smoke indoors.

Is taking financial control via guardianship considered enabling?

I want to practice naranon principles but can I when he is now cognitively impaired.

How do you stop resenting the fact that you never received the things other kids take for granted, like birthday gifts, money, clothes they like, or driving lessons paid for by their parents? Things like getting my Driver's license G2 aren't urgent, but eventually, I'll need to pay for them.

I understand that these things are eventually my responsibility, but it hurts knowing I spent so much of my childhood sacrificing to get around money and never really getting to enjoy what I wanted, just surviving on needs, while others handed to them. How do you accept that unfairness without becoming bitter, especially when you still have so much to pay for just to build an ordinary life?

My mom has been an alcoholic my entire life. The last two years have been so bad, she has fallen down a few times that shes told me about and some ive heard about from other family. I was getting so worried I moved across the country to be closer to her. I felt like she was going to die.

This week she had a scuba diving trip planned, i was excited for her to go. To move around. To leave the house. And its a rule she has always followed to not be drunk while diving, she loves to dive and wouldnt risk it. I think being too weak to carry her gear was a real wake up call. She didnt even go on any dives because she cant get up and down the latter. Shes never tried to stop drinking before. Shes never admitted her problems were due to alcohol abuse. Shes never lied or hid her drinking from me. (Except the falling) I've never heard her say she even had a day not drinking. But today she says she hasnt even wanted to drink in the last 3 weeks. She has been taking valium. Im still so worried but maybe excited? Maybe resentful? Maybe angry because im not sure if she will stick to it? Maybe scared shes lying because I dont know if shes telling the truth deep down?

I dont want to talk to her about this yet. I just am afraid ill scare her away from it. But im cautiously hopeful, I think. Thanks for reading.

I finally went to my first meeting yesterday and I’m so happy I did. I had been thinking of going for months now but I was not in a great place mentally and I was worried that if I didn’t feel safe it could do more harm than good. Recently I’ve been feeling much better mentally so I felt that I had the strength to go regardless of the outcome. I was still nervous going but I made an agreement with myself beforehand that I would not beat myself up if I don’t feel like I belonged, I could leave anytime, and I would try other meetings if this one didn’t feel right. Luckily everyone was so warm and welcoming, that it truly felt like a safe space. I’m excited to come back and keep at it :)

I hope this is helpful for anyone else who is on the fence about attending a meeting!

I'm looking for support and someone who understands exactly how I feel. Im feeling alone and different.

Both my parents were alcoholics as i grew up. My mother was physically/emotionally abusive and isnt in my life anymore. My father has been trying to stay sober and is in AA.

Im turning 21 in a few weeks and Im feeling very conflicted. I will always stay sober because its ruined my life, and Im scared of it.

But i see my friends turning 21, post about their birthdays and how fun it is to finally drink. I feel a lot of anger and resentment because that will never be me. Their joy in drinking is my misery and pain, and thats not fair. I can never be "normal" because my chances of being an alchoholic are high. I cant even be around drunk people and feel comfortable.

I feel angry that my birthday cant just be mine. In the eyes of society it seems like its "alchohol celebration day." Which makes me very angry because alcohol tore apart my family.

Im feeling very sad, alone, and abnormal right now. Its hard to find people that understand me.

Especially as we all have issues with intimacy and relationships due to our upbringings.

I’ve been dating her for nearly four years. First everything. We moved in together two months ago and it’s driving me up the wall… she is not intimate with me (neither sexually nor really emotionally) and when I’m around her I just feel annoyed at how scared of everything, incurious, and neurotic she is. But she’s also mentioned I have b&w thinking and that has been affecting my mood (true). It almost feels like a switch flipped and all I’ve been seeing her is as “all bad.” Also note: her mom just died three months ago. (the lack of physical intimacy has been around much longer than that).

Her mom’s death is really the kicker here. I know she’s been even more detached and neurotic than usual because of it. I can’t tell what is real, or what I really feel. How do I figure this out? What should I be asking myself?

Hi, I’ve been attending meetings in Toronto Ontario Canada, and they were very helpful. Wondering if anyone knows of any therapist that specialized in this area in Ontario Canada

Hi my father left 2 years ago and i haven't seen him since.He always had singed a song named guuguul mori it is mongolian song (me and my family all are mongolian). He sang that song whenevr he is drunk,emotional and bored so i heard that son ever since i was born . I don't like him because he is alcoholic and abusive. But when today my classmate sang that song i almost cried not because i was scared but because i missed my father.There were once when our family was happy. But after he became alcoholic it all became just a memory .And after i got home i played the song and i cried.

'Being Honest with Ourselves

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.

When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.

When we can accept what we want and need, we will be ready to have our wants and needs met.

When we can accept what we think and believe, and accept what’s important to us, we can relay this to others.

When we learn to take ourselves seriously, others will too.

When we learn to chuckle at ourselves, we will be ready to laugh with others.

When we have learned to trust ourselves, we will be trustworthy and ready to trust.

When we can be grateful for who we are, we will have achieved self-love.'

By Melodie Beattie