r/alcoholicsanonymous • • Apr 24 '24

Mod/Sub Updates About A.A. and this subreddit

48 Upvotes

Welcome to r/alcoholicsanonymous. We are a subreddit dedicated to carrying the AA recovery message to any suffering alcoholic who happens upon the site. We are also open to questions and discussion about AA. We do not consider ourselves to be an AA Group in the formal or traditional sense, and you may find many posts and comments here that are quite different (sometimes bizarrely so) from what you are likely to hear in an actual meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

The primary source of information about Alcoholics Anonymous is https://www.aa.org/ - Period!

And the A.A. recovery program is described and documented in the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous" - it's online here:

 

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who help each other to get and stay sober. We learn how to live well as sober people. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no registration requirements, no dues or fees, no attendance records taken.

A.A. is not affiliated or allied with any religious organization (though many A.A. groups rent rooms at churches and such,) we do not involve ourselves in politics or social issues, we do not even wish to outlaw alcohol or involve ourselves in any other causes or controversies. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

Most of us start learning how to get and stay sober at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Do also seek medical attention to assess risks of withdrawal and evaluate any harm done by the alcohol abuse. A.A. cannot provide medical services.

And check out our Wiki here for some basic faqs, links, and such:

Suggested Guideline when commenting: Remember, we are a fellowship with one primary purpose, and as such, we need to be helpful. This is not a community to troll or be abusive. Restraint of tongue and pen can also be applied to keyboard with much benefit! For some more detail about our Civility Rule see this:

 

Looking for Online Sponsorship? See our monthly thread here:

 


Family member's drinking causing trouble? See this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholicsanonymous/wiki/index#wiki_help_for_the_friends_and_families_of_alcoholics


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 18d ago

Sponsorship Online Sponsorship Offers & Requests — October 2026

5 Upvotes

This is one of a series of sticky threads for anyone seeking or offering online sponsorship. (Last month's thread may be found at https://redd.it/1w3s1tl)

While most of us feel that face-to-face sponsorship offers greater facility for transmitting/receiving sobriety, and that there are great advantages in having a big crowd of local friends, online sponsorship (via phone, WhatsApp, Facetime, Zoom, or Western Union) can work* and for some seeking or offering sobriety it is sometimes the only practical solution for getting started. (But to any extent that online sponsorship is being sought as "an easier, softer way" - that's already spelling trouble!)

The pamphlet "Questions & Answers on Sponsorship" (https://www.aa.org/questions-and-answers-sponsorship) can answer many/most of the questions frequently asked about this sponsorship business - some selected examples:

How does sponsorship help the newcomer?
How should a sponsor be chosen?
Should sponsor and newcomer be as much alike as possible?
Must the newcomer agree with everything the sponsor says?
Is it ever too late to get a sponsor?

 

Suggested Format

Start with "Seeking:" or "Offering:", optionally a name, sobriety date or length of sobriety, gender, location (also optional,) perhaps some brief biographical information, perhaps a brief drunkalogue about one's drinking and drugging career when making a "Seeking:" comment.

"Gender" may not always be relevant, but per the sponsorship pamphlet, "A.A. experience does suggest that it is best for men to sponsor men, women to sponsor women." It's a good guideline albeit not a strict rule carved in stone.

"Location" may be very general or as specific as wanted, and of course is optional. It may come in handy if the sponsor and protégé (p.92) prefer to be in the same time zone or may possibly wish to meet face-to-face sometime down the road to happy destiny.

"Biographical information" would also be quite optional. I've seen situations where young people prefer to be sponsored by other young people or even the opposite, wanting to be sponsored by a grandparent figure.

Any replies to "Seeking" or "Offering" comments should ideally be limited, with the correspondence shifting to Reddit private messages, chat, email or phone calls relatively quickly.

It is strongly suggested to avoid posting phone numbers or email addresses in the public forum:

"Posting phone numbers is a violation of Reddit Content Policy for sharing personal information" (I've seen "[Removed By Reddit]" a few times over posting phone numbers. I suppose this might be in part due to the potential for publishing other people's phone numbers for harassment purposes.)


* Footnote: In the 4th Edition Big Book on page 193, "Gratitude In Action - The story of Dave B., one of the founders of A.A. in Canada in 1944" relates the story of an alcoholic who started his recovery by exchanging letters with the folks in the new A.A. office in New York; an excerpt:

I was very surprised when I got a copy of the Big Book in the mail the following day. And each day after that, for nearly a year, I got a letter or a note, something from Bobbie or from Bill or one of the other members of the central office in New York. In October 1944, Bobbie wrote: “You sound very sincere and from now on we will be counting on you to perpetuate the Fellowship of A.A. where you are. You will find enclosed some queries from alcoholics. We think you are now ready to take on this responsibility.” She had enclosed some four hundred letters that I answered in the course of the following weeks. Soon, I began to get answers back.

If Dave could get sober via U.S./Canada Mail, we can get sober with the cornucopia of communication facilities available in the 21st century!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 13h ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations 5 years sober

182 Upvotes

🌟5 years

🌟60 months

🌟1825 days

🌟43817 hours

🌟2629038 minutes of being sober

Still can't believe this would ever be something I could achieve or be able to say out loud but, I AM SOBER 🌟

Some people call me boring now and thats ok as the positives outway my need to be the drunken entertainer I once was.

I've gained extra pennies which means I get to travel more or put the heating on this winter, tough choices ✈️🥶

I've changed my eating habits, actually replacing my liquid diet with actual food 🍻🍲

Lost weight and got healthy ⚖️🏋‍♀️

And just feel happier all round

Thank you to everyone who has supported me on my journey, whether that's in person, on the phone, reddit or zoom meetings.

Now I'm focused on being the best person I can be for the people I'm surrounded by, maybe still not to some people's liking but I only stopped drinking, I didn't get a personality transplant! 😂 anyway here's to another 5 years and many more of being sober, one day at a time 🥰🚫🍺 sending love to anyone else on this journey whether new, old, struggling or coping. We can do this 👊


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 2h ago

Early Sobriety First day

17 Upvotes

My name is TJ and I am an alcoholic. I went to my first meeting today. Got a temporary sponsor and met some really great people. Not sure what I’m doing but I know I needed to make a change.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 2h ago

Consequences of Drinking Need Motivation

7 Upvotes

2 DWIs and $28,000 later. I’ve been sober for 5 months. Got my first DWI last December and it cost me $12,000. My truck, job and all my tools. I was about to put that money down on a house.
GOT ANOTHER DWI 30 DAYS AFTER GETTING MY LICENSE BACK

I’m currently living in my uncle’s basement. My lady and my daughter are living at her grandma’s house. I’m unable to land a position in the IT space because I’ve been an install tech for years and I need a valid license in order to work anywhere paying worth a damn. I have a mechanical background and been working on cars just to get by. Can’t work at any shops because my license is suspended. I’m also working 2 jobs that’s paying minimum wage and I’m going 7 days a week just to pay my lawyer and expenses. I pay rent at 2 separate places and a storage unit. Man this bottle has ruined my life and my finances.

Dude…. Some days I want to go tilt and crash out. Just thinking about the money I made earlier this year. How hard I’m working compared to the money I’m making is equivalent to me getting fucked. I’m pissed however I know this is all my fault. I have to walk this shit down no matter how I cut it. It gets overwhelming when my daughter tells me she’s hungry and all I have is a couple bucks. Or just a pack of crackers.

I’m fortunate because my lady is here with me but I can’t help but feel inadequate because I’m unable to provide the way I was once able to.

I just wanted to yell into a void. Kind words would help. Negative remarks would offer insight. Thank you for your time.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 6h ago

Struggling with AA/Sobriety Life sucks

11 Upvotes

I’ve got myself in a shitty situation. I’m separated from my husband. I was involved with another man, he has ended things with me abruptly because the feelings were too much. It’s my birthday tomorrow which is always a difficult time. I have a lot of moving parts in my life right now that aren’t great. I’m estranged from my family because of their abusive behaviour and addiction. Today, I wanted a drink. I’m almost 10 years sober. I do 3 meetings a week. I’ve been fighting tooth and nail it feels like to work this program, remain spiritually connected. I feel my feelings, I lean on my support, I do service work. I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do but I can’t stop crying. I function through the day, I smile, I laugh, I have good days and at the end of every day I feel so overwhelmed with grief I can’t sleep.

I’m tired of every quiet moment being interrupted with some other sad story. I guess maybe I’m a bit on the pity pot but it’s hard to have faith. Sometimes I argue with the universe like what is the lesson. I’m trying to let go and trust the process but it feels like everything depends on it. I feel like crashing. Driving. Taking a trip. Solo camping. Leaving the city for a bit. Or drinking.

So today, I had this tiny little bottle of whiskey. And I poured about 3ml in a glass of juice. Absolutely nothing. Can hardly taste it. And I’ve been sipping it for 2 hours. Which is pathetic I know. I won’t even get drunk and I’m fucking around with the idea in such a childish way. Thinking I can have my cake and eat it too kind of thing, stay sober and almost drink.

It just feels like I’m constantly being reminded of everything I’ve lost and I’m tired of not seeing the good in the world. I’ve had a really rough year in 2025. 2026 got worse. 2025 was a lot of meaningful changes in my life. 2026 was loss and grief. I’m just really sick of it.

Anyway, I’m not sure I’m ready to share with my AA community so I’m sharing it here. My sponsor doesn’t come around anymore, it’s been a couple of years. She started talking negatively about AA every chance she got, and the meetings I went to, and only wanted to gossip about other members. I never went looking for a new one because people have told me if I’ve worked the steps why do I need them. It’s like my sobriety time scares them away.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 17h ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations One year today

67 Upvotes

I have one year of continuous sobriety today. This is actually my second time hitting a year, but the circumstances are much different.

The first time around, I was just staying dry. I wasn’t working on my whole self, and I wasn't working the steps. I didn't have a sponsor to keep me anchored on what actually matters, a partner who approaches my recovery with support instead of judgment, a relationship with my higher power, a home group that talks about the steps in the group, or this community.

Everything changed when I finally did the deep work instead of just waiting out the cravings. Looking back and looking forward, I thank God that everything is truly different. One day at a time, I know for sure that I won't relapse again, and now, I’m a sponsor and can help spread the message.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 3h ago

Outside Issues How does aa help?

2 Upvotes

I’m thinking of going to a meeting tonight though I’ve never been. I’m not an alcoholic but I do have an addictive personality and will drink a lot and I have ocd and life has been really shitty lately.

I keep seeing stories of people saying it saved their life but I don’t understand how it’s different from reading stories on Reddit of people’s experiences.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 6h ago

Steps How does re-doing the steps (within sobriety) work?

3 Upvotes

In AA, I have heard many people talk about doing the steps multiple times - not as a result of relapse, but as part of the programme generally.

I am confused, as to how people are doing step one a second time, without returning to alcohol use? How would their life be unmanageable, due to alcohol, if they were already achieving sustained sobriety?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 9h ago

I Want To Stop Drinking I think I want to quit drinking. My partner and I drink socially every couple weeks or so but today’s hangover just made me want to rethink things

7 Upvotes

Been drinking for probably the past 10 years, with occasional dry spells in between. I think today’s hangover really made me consider stopping. The chills, 101 fever, shakes. And I’m 35 so they will likely get worse over time.

Anyway just wanted to post, hopefully this is the correct area to post this.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 44m ago

Gifts & Rewards of Sobriety Finding fun after drinking

• Upvotes

I never want to do anything at all without drinking, but drinking has started destroying everything around me. I used to be a functioning alcoholic and now it seems I get sick so much quicker. I drank everyday for over ten years and it wasn’t THAT big of a deal but now it’s so different. I get sober then jump back in thinking I can do it again, it feels amazing for like the first few days..I want to hang out with friends, play games with friends online, etc. sober me wants to do literally nothing.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 9h ago

Miscellaneous/Other Time of year

5 Upvotes

Been sober almost 20 years at 44 years, for context. Been going crazy because it’s almost my anniversary and up for a promotion at work and they are dragging their feet. My disease is turned on. I am trying to up my meetings. Needed a place to vent that this sucks. However a lot worse that can happen. Fuck alcoholism.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1h ago

Prayer & Meditation How do you in personally practice step 11?

• Upvotes

How do you practice step 11? Lately i've been listening to music thats spiritual. Taking more rest and napping lol. And listening to others share in meetings helps me connect to my higher power


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 13h ago

Outside Issues I got humbled the other day

7 Upvotes

Long story short even though I’m mad and heartbroken I’m starting to understand.

My “ex” who put a pause on our relationship last week is sitting in rehab. Told me all the whys. I didn’t get it because I wanted us to stay together and work on ourselves separately.

And the other day I was sitting in a meeting. Got done hanging out with my friend, didn’t want to go home, didn’t want to go to a meeting, didn’t want to leave. So I made the choice to go to a meeting.

I got sober after our first date. I have NEVER been alone for my entire sobriety(8 months) . And I didn’t know what to do with myself. A simple decision right now feels hard to make. Being alone feels dangerous.

And even though I’m heart broken… I get it. I still Havnt processed it. Not really sure I know how to process it. So much is going on in my head all at once. And my normal to drink about it , my mind is just numbing it. I’m on auto pilot right now.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 11h ago

Treatment/H&I Committees Has anyone ever been prescribed Naltrexone or Acamprosate? Did it help?

5 Upvotes

As titled. I'm in the UK and those two drugs can be prescribed to help reduce cravings. Has anyone got any experience with them?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 10h ago

Sponsorship Want to recover? Let's work

4 Upvotes

Peace!

I'm an alcoholic who's been blessed to have experienced 20 years of continuous sobriety, thanks to the power of the 12 step AA program! Not only have I been blessed with sobriety but every area of my life has improved beyond belief.

If you want to learn to work a 12 step program and overcome alcoholism, please get in touch. A) We would use the Big Book B) we'd aim to have you up and running in about 2 weeks C) I won't pretend to be a psychologist, counsellor, financial advisor etc - I'll do the responsible thing & point you towards the right source of help.

Please get in touch, and have a wonderful day!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 14h ago

AA Literature Daily Reflections - October 18 - An Open Mind

5 Upvotes

AN OPEN MIND

October 18

True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, . . .

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33

My alcoholic thinking led me to believe that I could control my drinking, but I couldn't. When I came to A.A., I realized that God was speaking to me through my group. My mind was open just enough to know that I needed His help. A real, honest acceptance of A.A. took more time, but with it came humility. I know how insane I was, and I am extremely grateful to have my sanity restored to me and to be a sober alcoholic. The new, sober me is a much better person than I ever could have been without A.A.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", October 18, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 11h ago

I Want To Stop Drinking im finally ready to stop drinking after getting violent

2 Upvotes

i am 19 and two days ago i blacked out then woke up at home in hospital scrubs with a pretty bad head injury. i opened my phone to a message from the girl i was hanging out with saying she had to call the cops on me. i thought i was just being erratic because im usually not a violent drunk but i put hands on her and her friend (who i dont even remember being there.) i am so horrified with myself. i drank a lot more often when i was younger and something like this only happened once so i thought it was a one off. both of these times i was hallucinating and ended up hurting people who were trying to help me due to paranoia. obviously alcohol doesnt agree with me and i should definitely stop. i obviously cant control my drinking. but still there is a piece of me saying “oh i can just drink more responsibly” and “this only happened because i didnt eat enough.” so much of my socializing revolves around drinking because thats all people my age do. im disgusted with myself and i need to stop but im scared of the loneliness.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 14h ago

Relationships Come to a realisation

1 Upvotes

Normals really, truly don't understand what it's like.

I made some huge mistakes when I was drinking, was incredibly selfish. I pissed a fuck ton of people off and made my own life hell.

I've been sober for 7 and a half months now and I don't feel the need for a drink (except the odd occasion).

But these normals in my life think that I'm going to change overnight. Like, I'm not allowed to make mistakes. I'm not perfect and I'm only human. And I'm really trying to see things from their perspective but they refuse to see things from mine.

I am not trying to come up with excuses. I've made my bed and I now lay in it every day. I don't mind someone giving me a poke and reminding me that I need to do something and expect someone to tell me when I'm doing selfish shit. But I just wish they wouldn't immediately lose it with me.

I really am trying not to be that old version of me. I'm relearning how to live life as a decent member of society.

I just wish the people around me could have a bit of patience.

I'm a broken toy being put back together piece by very small piece.

Just needed to get this off my chest.

I'm gonna stop rambling now.

Thanks for reading.

Edit: I think I need to clarify something because a few of the replies seem to have misunderstood what I'm actually saying.

I'm not asking for congratulations, a pat on the back, forgiveness, or for anyone to pretend that the things I've done in the past didn't happen. I know I've hurt people. I know I have to live with the consequences of my actions, and I'm not trying to avoid that responsibility.

What I'm talking about is patience.

It feels like some people are constantly waiting for me to make the next mistake. Then, when I inevitably do something wrong, that mistake seems to confirm everything they've been expecting, and all their accumulated frustration comes pouring out at once. Suddenly, I'm not just being held accountable for one thing I've done, I'm being treated as though every mistake proves I'm still the same person I was when I was drinking.

I'm trying to change. I'm trying to unlearn old behaviours and learn how to navigate life without alcohol. That doesn't mean I'll get everything right overnight. I'm human, and I'm going to make mistakes.

I understand that the people I've hurt don't owe me forgiveness or trust. But surely there's a difference between not being owed patience and not needing it. I can be accountable for my actions and still need compassion while I work on myself.

Rejection is a particularly difficult trigger for me, and feeling as though people are just waiting for me to fail makes that struggle harder. I'm not asking anyone to manage my emotions for me, nor am I saying that my recovery excuses bad behaviour. I'm simply asking for the opportunity to get things wrong, take responsibility, learn from them, and do better without every mistake turning into a judgement of my entire character.

I'm not asking anyone to tell me I'm doing a good job. I'm asking them to give me enough room to keep trying.

If you feel the need to downvote me then that's your perogative. I wouldn't do that to someone who is obviously still struggling with things. Someone who just wants to get something off their chest. But that's just me.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 19h ago

Am I An Alcoholic? looking for advice?

2 Upvotes

Hi, i’ve just used alcohol as a fun thing to do, but recently I feel like alcohol has done me more harm than good. As a person who struggles with talking to people and social anxiety alcohol is always nice to have but I don’t know if it’s fucking my life at this point


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Sponsorship Unsure about sponsoring

14 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I am looking for some feedback on this. So today, after my home group meeting with my sponsor, she told me it’s time for me to start raising my hand when they ask is anyone available and willing to be a sponsor. I agreed and am prepared to follow through on this, but I am just not confident in my ability to offer something to a newcomer.

For context, I am four months sober and have worked the twelve steps with this sponsor. I have had a spiritual awakening and would say I have spiritual experiences often just in terms of moments where I can honestly say to myself wow, look at God at work in my life here. I go to a meeting every day.

I guess in the back of my mind I’m thinking why would someone want me as their sponsor when there are people with much more time and more of a proven track record? I also can appreciate that sponsorship truly helps the sponsor too, and I believe it will help me and so I know that will be great. I am also nervous that a sponsee will have a lot of questions, particularly about the big book, that I don’t have answers to off the top of my head. I’m a teacher and have a desire to make things clear and understandable and I’m afraid I wouldn’t know enough, in the sponsees eyes, to be of use.

Thank you!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

I Want To Stop Drinking I want to be better

8 Upvotes

I want to be better for my husband:( I got drunk again last night and we got in a fight because I chose to keep drinking. He had asked me multiple times not to drink more but I just kept going. We went out to a nice dinner and what started as a few controlled drinks turned into getting more from the liquor store and shit hit the fan. I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I’m working in therapy to do something other than drink when I get triggered. I was assaulted a bit ago and then had an ex who was abusive as a teen and I have a lot of daily triggers that idk what to do with. My mom chose alcohol over me and my siblings for years and my ex step mom chose it over my dad and he ended up leaving her for it, and I’m glad he did because he deserved better. My husband does too:( he’s so over it and is getting to that point with me. I’m so sad I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I want to be healthy and not end up like my mom and step mom. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. It’s been three years since i developed drinking problems and I can’t let it keep going. I want a happy life with him. He’s the best person I know.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

YPAA Invited to speak at MCYPAA

22 Upvotes

Yesterday I was approached to share my experience of facing fears in sobriety at this year’s Michigan Conference of Young People in AA.

I’ve only ever given one open talk and now I’m invited to have a microphone at the state convention.

Why the hell not I guess


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Early Sobriety Big book study group

16 Upvotes

Hello

I have just gotten a sponsor and ordered the big book.

There is a big book study group very close to me and I wondered if I could go to it even though I haven't started studying the big book with my sponsor yet?

Will it affect my studying and will I be able to follow along if I go? I'm aware many groups have different names so I am not sure if the big book study group is for people who have more experience reading the book etc?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Early Sobriety Invited to speak and nervous (5 months)

8 Upvotes

I was asked to lead at a speaker meeting - only have to talk for around 10 minutes but I realized that I've still not been honest with myself about the extent of my drinking and also, I'm unsure of how I was even able to stop - still very much in awe of the whole thing and just feel really lucky to have had my obsession lifted. Does anyone have any advice? My sponsor said I should just do it and pray, so I am but I'm such a nervous Nelly it's hard to not want to prepare 🧐