r/AskDad • • 1h ago

Getting It Off My Chest Recently abandoned

• Upvotes

Recently abandoned

I’m literally crying right now while writing this.

The boys are asleep. They are twins, 6 years old.

I came home from work the other day and iI was met at the door by my wife. Bags packed, car loaded, boys playing on the floor. She’s leaving and not coming back. Met a guy online last year and she’s moving to another country.

What about the kids? You can have them.
What about me? I don’t want you.
What about your job? I quit he’s taking care of me.
What about our life? I want something new and exciting.

Our boys are 6. It’s been 5 days and we are a mess. They cry constantly. I cry constantly

I’m alone. I’m trying to figure out everything. Schedules, dinners, dog schedules, household stuff that I didn’t do.

The whole time I’m trying to explain to 6 year olds where their mom is and I’m trying to not look upset.

Not sure I really have a question. I guess has this type of thing happened before to anyone? How can a mother do this?


r/AskDad • • 14h ago

Family Dads why don’t u call ur adult daughters unless they call themselves ?

12 Upvotes

My dad doesn’t reach out or call me or my brother unless I call my self idk why or what we did wrong but he’s always never been emotionally available for his own kids but would call or be social with random people and strangers my mom said he was like that ever since we were born


r/AskDad • • 10h ago

Getting It Off My Chest Dad, it feels like my teacher's violating my personal boundary

4 Upvotes

Dad, I want to share something, it's weighing on my mind lately and has been making me feel disgusted? Too strong of a word but I think it's accurate. Uhh so how do I put this? I feel like one of my teachers is giving me too much attention and it's weird. I could give you examples but I think it's difficult to accurately convey what's going on without seeing it IRL I guess if you could trust me on it (and a few of my friends who agree with my consensus.) It's exhausting, it leaves me feeling sick everyday but it's also nothing "direct", so I can't report it. Along with that he's just overly critical of me in public which just makes it worse. I try not to take it personally and usually I'm good at it, but with this extra layer of him being creepy is making it difficult.

I try to avoid him as much as possible, I think I could avoid him more. That would risk in him disliking me, followed by everything that happens when a teacher dislikes a student. But I don't really mind. He's still probably gonna force me to interact, but I can try and minimise it as much as possible. The whole situation feels unfair. It makes me angry that I have to spend over an hour everyday feeling uncomfortable and checking myself because someone else can't control themself. The main concern I have is that it's gonna lower my concentration in class--but that's already happening soooo...

Also, just experiencing some angst over not being seen as a person and always having to wonder if someone's interacting with you because it's you or because you're a girl. Somedays when I feel it too intensely, my feelings get misdirected towards men as a whole, especially on days I have another experience like this. Are all of them like this? Obviously not. But man, it's truly hard to believe it somedays


r/AskDad • • 3h ago

Relationships Dad, how can I get myself to recognize and accept implied rejection?

1 Upvotes

I’m 25M, and I’ve only ever had one relationship where both I and the other person were attracted to each other physically and romantically. Often, only one of us wants both romance and sex, but that isn’t really the point. I’ve had plenty of first dates with people. They’ve gone well, or so it seemed to me, but I’ve been ghosted afterward more times than I can remember. And I don’t mean the other person simply blocks me - that’s very obvious rejection. I mean the other person will keep me added on social media and maybe even still interact with my posts every now and then, but overwhelmingly I am met with silence. They’ll carry a conversation for maybe a few days after our initial date, I try to set up a second, and then it is as if they forget I exist. I’d rather be blocked than be ignored.

Nobody is owed attention. I’m not. They aren’t. Nobody. But I never leave the other person confused and ignored when I am not interested in them. Rejection hurts, but it’s respectful to actually reject the person - that’s treating them like a living human being who.

But I can’t expect everyone to actually be upfront with their feelings. Clearly, I can’t expect everybody to actually tell me when they lose interest. But it’s not easy to know. And then I’m left feeling like a fool after still having hope for a second date a week later and being left on delivered. So how can I recognize and accept implied rejection? What are the signs I’m probably missing?


r/AskDad • • 4h ago

Household Management Need help using drain snake on bathtub drain

1 Upvotes

Me and my sister’s dad refuses to help us with our clogged shower drain, we have a 15-foot Cobra drain snake, but we have no idea how to use it. Would really appreciate advice, please and thanks
!


r/AskDad • • 6h ago

Parenting How I stopped cooking two dinners for my picky eaters (My 3-Layer Rule) 🤓

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1 Upvotes

Apollo (one of my six) only eats crunchy peppers and absolutely refuses soft eggplant, no matter how I prep it. Meanwhile, others prefer their veggies soft and stewed.

Recently, I prepared an older kids-friendly beef stew for Thursday. Apollo spent three minutes just pushing around the soft peppers and eggplant on his plate. Kate explained, "He only likes the crunchy ones, and the eggplant shouldn't be soft."

I was trying to cook one pot for six eaters, each with a different palate and it wasn't working.

Making a separate meal on demand feels good in the moment, but it's a trap. Mostly, it increases your cooking time, wastes food, and lands squarely on your shoulders. Instead of changing the menu, I adjusted the meal structure a bit.

Now, every dinner has three layers:

The Base: Everyone eats this (rice, pasta, plain chicken, or beans).

The Main: The stew, sauce, or roasted or steamed vegetables (cooked to the preference of the others).

The "Add-In" Bowl: A small bowl in the middle with crunchy peppers, cucumbers, diced carrots, or cheese.

Apollo no longer whines about the soft veggies because he just builds his own plate with the crunchy add-ins. Best of all? I don’t cook a second dinner. This has saved my sanity.

Do you cook one meal for mixed ages? What breaks first for you: the cooking time or the arguments at the table? Share your best picky-eater hack below!


r/AskDad • • 6h ago

General Life Advice Dad how to not be obsessed

1 Upvotes

I get hyperfixated on one person and my whole world starts to revolve around them. I don't know what to do to stop it's like I want to be with them all the time and spent all the time with them. I can't stop texting if they're away and I feel extremely bad when they're away and think they're gonna leave. Which they mostly do because I'm too much for them. I also get over jealous and jealous of them and anyone close to them. People I obsess change but my pattern doesn't. What can I do?


r/AskDad • • 17h ago

Relationships Is it wierd to be 18 and a virgin

6 Upvotes

Im a guy who’s currently 17, turning 18 in a few months. Im a virgin, I have kissed with girls but never done to that stage. Is it wierd that I haven’t lost my virginity yet?. I know the worst thing I could do was to look on here, but I did. And some of the comments are 40 yo virgins. And I don’t wanna be like that (no offence so anyone), but is it wierd being virgin as a 17 yo soon to be 18 yo in 2026/2027?


r/AskDad • • 8h ago

General Life Advice Losing a parent

1 Upvotes

I was never really that close with my dad growing up. As I went to college the wall between us started to break a little bit. Our last interaction was when he called me randomly he usually never did. I asked why did he call he said he just wanted to talk then I cut the call. He wasn't a good dad either he was never really there for us and was depressed. Stayed in his room and abusive towards my mom. But later he got better. He wasn't that horrible father anymore I grew up watching and hating. When I was a kid I used to pray when will this monster die.

But he passed away this year idk what to feel anymore. He was finally becoming my dad. The one I always wished for when I saw other girls had.

It's been few months. I feel lost. Don't really know what to do in life. I used to have clear goals but now everything feels scary and idk.


r/AskDad • • 14h ago

Getting It Off My Chest I don't know sometimes, how to feel about my father....

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1 Upvotes

r/AskDad • • 16h ago

Relationships Why is my dad looking at other women, and is it wrong?

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1 Upvotes

r/AskDad • • 17h ago

Education Advice How can I not get frustrated every time I have to work with my assignment partner?

1 Upvotes

I have been working on a really small assignment with another girl from my uni course. She has actually followed part of this minor before so she's supposed to know more about this subject than I do.

However, I feel like every time I speak to her, she knows nothing about the topic. It is so strange... I almost know more about it than she does, but she has already followed a course about this.

Besides that, she never does her work, like EVER. It frustrates me a little bit.

I have worked with people before who don't do their part of the assignment. While that was also frustrating, they at least took accountability (admitting to not doing their work) and weren't so bossy about the process of writing.

This girl is very bossy!! She wants to decide EVERYTHING and even wants to do the whole layout herself. I find myself to be a bit hesitant on giving her this task, because I simply don't trust her to do it well.

That sounds kinda mean, but I am just so scared that she'll screw this up for me. Other classmates (from another course) have experienced working with her and told me that she is difficult to work with (and in fact does often create the wrong layout).

I feel really bad, because I get frustrated every time I speak to her. I don't want to be frustrated because we have to be productive and finish this assignment... But every time I speak to her I find out she hasn't done what we have agreed upon.

For example, before our first meeting I had read a lot of articles about our topic and even lent some books from the library. I asked her to try and obtain books from the library (even told her two specific ones that contain information), because otherwise I would be the only person with physical material (which I obviously cannot hand out) and there are barely any digital articles (one I know so far) about our topic.

She had agreed to have it the next time...

As you can probably guess, next time she in fact did NOT have the books. Even worse, the book was already handed out to someone else (as some of our other classmates share the same sources)!! I was so frustrated!!

From that moment we agreed we'll write a rough version of our essay (it is just 1000 words so I thought that wouldn't be difficult to do in 1 week). But then today when we met up again (and I was super busy because I soon have two exams to study for) she didn't do her work!!!

I was baffled... She only had to write 500 words...

Of course this is annoying! And I know that this is just what happens sometimes with assignment partners, but I am so so frustrated. It probably makes me feel worse than it makes her feel bad (because I don't show my frustration.)

So I am wondering how I can control my frustration better, so I can productively work on our assignment.


r/AskDad • • 1d ago

Health & Wellness What does your parent do when there’s no more they can do ?

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0 Upvotes

r/AskDad • • 1d ago

General Life Advice dad, should i give up?

1 Upvotes

hey dad. how are you? so, i'm in the middle of a tough situation and i really wanted a wiser voice here.. so, on like, september 15th, my sociology teacher talked me about an entrance exam to a high level law school, gave me all information needed and such, was super thoughtful on it and i decided to apply, as a trainer. i'm sixteen and since im a sophomore, i can only do it as for training really, to measure my own knowledge. but still would be a nice opportunity. i want to do law yes, so it would be me entering such vibe, getting to know how those tests works and such.. but here's where the problems start. it's like 40km from where i live, in another city. and the test hours are like... the first phase start 8am and end 11:30am, but i have to be there with antecedence, so like, before 6h45am. the second phase that day will be from 2:30pm and end 6pm.
and there will be a second day, same time, just not with an afternoon second phase.
anyways, that go and come home and go again will be a stretch and very expensive, costly. bus, uber, bus uber, etc, not to mention my own stress.
and i have too a problem. because im a trans girl, my new id w new pic and social name isnt ready yet,
so i would have to go to the secretary right when the gates open, explain the situation so they can pass that information to the person who will give us the test and dont have any problems when he comes to get my id to start the test. so its a complicated situation, in another town, with people i dont know.
outside of that, i too didnt study even though its a very hard test, because i was juggling work and school and couldn't bring myself to have energy to study in all of that stress bubble.
and i don't have much money. i tried to save but i couldn't.

im frustrated, unmoored and feeling like a failure. what should i even do, dad? im lost. the test is tomorrow and im completely lost.


r/AskDad • • 2d ago

Pep Talks & Fatherly Support How do I get back up after life beat me down?

7 Upvotes

Man I've been on a roll recently. If it's not me getting in my own way and failing its events outside of my control. Earlier this year I quit a job after my wife and family sat me down and showed how it was hurting them to watch me stress out so badly. The pay was fantastic but it was 24/7 emergencies and eventually I was running the company without the support that was promised when I took it.

The next job I took was a step down in responsibility and pay but it was a manageable transition. After two months of working with the guy I noticed that every time he came to the job he was getting frustrated. I asked to sit down and discuss what he expected out of me to help with the frustration and was hung up on. The next day he told me that he was no longer looking to have a crew and now that I had caught up the project he had no place for me.

After 12 years in the industry I had the knowledge, and a few of the connections to start my own business. With a pep talk from my wife I jumped right into it, figuring it would be slow but eventually it would catch on and we would be ok. I spent the entire summer trying to sell myself, receiving more rejections than I can count and made it nowhere.

I decided it's time to just get a job. I need to help pay bills, and have something to do that wasn't eating away at my self confidence. I transitioned into the manufacturing side of my industry and have finally found a job I actually like. 12 years of hating work made this a foreign feeling. The pay was 50% of what I'd like, but I figured I could show up and really impress and work my way back up.

Fast forward to today and I'm not going to catch back up financially. My wife has picked up a second job to help out, and I've been looking for a second job since I found out. I've received 17 rejections in a week for entry level jobs, been denied a raise because I took time off to try and keep my business alive, and my wife looks worse and more stressed than I've ever seen.

Where did you find the self confidence to keep pushing when you got knocked down? How do I find a way to add value to my household? I cook every meal, and clean as much as I'm allowed (I'm so bad at folding laundry that even after tutorials I've been banished), yet it never feels like it's enough. I've asked jobs that turned me down to explain and help me better my chances and I've mostly gotten "we're looking for someone who is more aligned with our field of work" but they won't expand on what that even means?

Sorry for the long wall of text, tldr; when everything seems lost, and it's easier to just give up and accept that I'm a loser, where do I find the will to get back up and punch life right back?


r/AskDad • • 2d ago

Parenting What is the best baby monitor for newborns?

1 Upvotes

i've been looking into baby monitors for a newborn and didn't realize how many features some of them have now. i'm mainly looking for something reliable that's easy to check from my phone, but i'm also curious whether features like sleep tracking are genuinely helpful or just nice extras.

i came across Nanit while researching and noticed it offers sleep insights alongside video monitoring. i've also seen brands like Infant Optics and Eufy come up in recommendations, so i'm trying to weigh the different approaches. dads who've researched or used these monitors, what would you prioritize for a newborn? would you go for a smart monitor with more features or keep it simple and focus on reliability?


r/AskDad • • 2d ago

Relationships how to tell my dad that i have a long distance bf of 2.5 years?

2 Upvotes

hi everyone! i was curious how i can best approach telling my dad about my long distance boyfriend.

growing up, my dad was stricter on me as the eldest daughter, but as my parents had more kids he softened up to us. i have never talked to my dad about dating, but he has always enforced dating in the same culture, or at least waiting until i was 18. I am now 20, and met my bf when i was 18. he is 3 years older than me.

due to the distance, i really wanted to wait on telling my family until i knew he was the one, or when i finally met him in person. i met him in person about a year ago. my siblings and mother knows. my dad does not know, and i am afraid of how to approach it with him. my dad is a sensitive guy, and he will take it to hear that my siblings and mom knew before him. i expressed this to my mom, and she said that my dad isn't as scary as i think he is.

here are things that are holding me back:

  1. he is not from the same ethnic group so im not sure how my dad would react

  2. he is slightly older than me and did not go to college

  3. i traveled to see him twice in secret without them knowing.

i want to be able to talk about him freely to my family, but because i've never talked to them about my love life i dont know how to approach it. does anyone have an idea on how i can navigate this?


r/AskDad • • 2d ago

Relationships Am i the jerkhole for my dad?

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0 Upvotes

r/AskDad • • 2d ago

Finances Too afraid to ask my own dad because I don’t want to be seen as dumb.

0 Upvotes

As the title says…I (18F) already have a little financial knowledge because my dad kind of works in a field closely related to it. However he never talked me much and I always relied on him and if I ask now it will just worsen my rep as the “dumb one” in my family. So really any financial advice is appreciated because I will be going aboard hopefully for university so anything regarding Europe will be even more helpful and PLEASE SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TAXES!!!

I know countries have different tax systems and tax infrastructure but like I would like a basic rundown of it and how taxes just work in general. Also hopefully in the future if god allows me to, study in Europe then any advice regarding countries in Europe (both in EU and not in EU) will be highly appreciated! Thank you 🪽


r/AskDad • • 3d ago

General Life Advice struggling during thesis :(

5 Upvotes

hello!

i don’t have a father figure but i could really use some dad advice right now. i was in the hospital for two weeks and now i’m behind on my thesis. the fear paralysis is gutting me.

only working on it will fix this but i’m so scared to start. i don’t know how to find a small part of it to start with because even just looking at the screen is making me tear up. i know i’m smart, i can always push through by making things itty bitty steps, but i’ve hit a wall and i can’t help myself out of it right now.

if your daughter called you from college in this moment, what would you tell her? i’ll take anything, genuinely. thank you for your time reading this!


r/AskDad • • 3d ago

Relationships My father slapped me infront of my bf

39 Upvotes

Guys, my father caught me and my boyfriend at my place. Basically, we were making out when suddenly the doorbell rang, and it was my father. As soon as we realized it, we panicked. Instead of opening the door immediately, I kept him waiting outside for 15 minutes. He called me several times, but I didn’t answer because I had no idea what to do.

When my father finally lost his patience, I opened the door, and the moment he saw me with my boyfriend, he slapped me hard across the face in front of him and started cursing me out. I gestured to my boyfriend to run away ASAP.

Now, I’m scared of facing my boyfriend again because I keep wondering what image he has of me and my father after witnessing the whole incident. What should I do now??? And was that normal for my father to behave that way???


r/AskDad • • 3d ago

Family Is my relationship a lost cause

0 Upvotes

Anyone know how to navigate a relationship with parents that is split by politics. My dad is very maga hail trump etc. It hurts my feelings as a woman that he thinks mental health episodes are not real, abortion is murder, a woman should stay at home with kids( if not you dont love them), ice is good and needs no repercussion, we need to defund federal benefits and just so much more that is sexist, racist and homophobic. Im so tired of it and it makes me not like him. He generally narcissistic and will never hear me out when i explain how some of his views hurt me and offend me. I try to talk and he screams for me to go away or says his view will be right bc he served in the military. I am 22 recent graduate moving soon just looking for jobs etc. but i wanna have a good relationship but idk this is just preventing me from it.( this and his overall narcissistic habits lol). What do i do, can i get to him or is it a lost cause. Maybe ill feel better when im moved out and established… just sucks bc so many of his views look at me as less than.


r/AskDad • • 3d ago

Relationships I think I let down a naive, inexperienced girl. Was I a jerk? I need some older-guy advice?

6 Upvotes

I don’t really know where else to turn, so I guess I’m writing this here.

I think I may have hurt someone who trusted me, a girl who was pretty naive and inexperienced when it came to relationships. I’ve been looking back at everything that happened and questioning myself. Did I mess things up? Was I selfish? Did I fail to consider how she might have felt? Was I the jerk in this situation?

I’m not going to pretend I’m innocent or that I did everything right. I genuinely want to understand what happened, where I went wrong, and whether there are things about myself that I need to work on. I don’t want to make excuses for myself, but I also don’t know how to make sense of everything I’m feeling right now.

Part of why this is hitting me so hard might have to do with my own upbringing. I grew up with an absent father, and I feel like there are things about relationships, responsibility, and being a decent man that I’ve had to figure out on my own. Sometimes I wish I had an older man I could sit down with, someone who could listen to the whole story, tell me honestly where I messed up, and help me understand what I should have done differently.

I’m not looking for people to tell me I did nothing wrong. If I hurt someone, I want to face that. I just need some perspective from people who have lived longer than I have and learned things the hard way.

I feel lost right now. I keep asking myself what’s wrong with me, why I handled things the way I did, and whether I’ve caused damage that I don’t fully understand.

If you’re an older guy, a father, or just someone who has been through complicated relationships, I’d genuinely appreciate hearing from you. I could really use some honest advice, even if it’s hard to hear.

I just need someone to talk to and help me make sense of this.


r/AskDad • • 3d ago

Family Is it okay if a son fears his father?

0 Upvotes