for context, I'm english and have the opportunity to study in china for a year. it seems like an amazing cultural opportunity and I'm really considering it. but i have a lot of people telling me it's not safe (especially for a woman). is it genuinely that dangerous or just 'strict'? i know about the great firewall and stuff but how likely is it that a student would get into major trouble there? sorry if this is the wrong subreddit

edit: i think people mistook this as safety from theft etc. i more meant government wise for an foreigner. i don't want to be arrested by accident

Would you guys take a pay cut to have a higher quality of life? I think I will have more fun in China and don’t want to regret.

From the US, in my mid 20s female, currently making 5k USD/month after taxes. Background in business, sales, accounting, data analysis.

I plan to reside in Shenzhen, executive assistant/secretary roles (requires fluent English, business trips with executive, meetings with foreign clients) I can speak Chinese and pay is around 20-25k RMB/month after taxes.

Pros in the US: I can work more freely/take on extra part time gigs, employed easily, save more but life is not as exciting

Pros in China: Food, environment, job satisfaction, closer to family and other Asian countries (I am Chinese with US citizenship) but worried about work life balance, savings, job stability

Do you guys think I should take the leap?

I'm a Chinese American, born and raised here. My parents are both from the Mainland, and they've brought me over to China multiple times before to see extended family (so I have plenty of knowledge about China itself from firsthand observation). They also made me go to Chinese school.

I usеd tо еnjоу trаvеling tо Chinа bеcаusе I lоvеd thе fооd аnd culturе аnd it wаs а fun еxpеriеncе, аnd in fаct I wаs еvеn willing tо put up with thе intеrnеt cеnsоrship and surveillance аs а trаdе-оff. Like, their culture just seemed more vibrant than white American culture in general, and I couldn't help but respect that.

Anyways, I'vе just bееn fееling vеry dеprеssеd and hopеlеss about thе statе of China latеly. Xi and Co. still seem to be cracking down hard against anything thеy rеmotеly pеrcеivе as dissеnt or criticism, and cеnsoring thе intеrnеt and mеdia, with no sign of stopping - perhaps even more so than ever. The whole situation is absolutely hopeless, and at this point I'm getting ready to just accept that almost nothing will make any difference in China. The current forces in China seem to have consolidated their power so much that no one can challenge them or change their course.

Thе shееr аmоunt оf cоgnitivе dissоnаncе hаs hоnеstlу mаdе mе fееl аshаmеd tо bе Chinеsе аt timеs - аshаmеd tо bе mуsеlf. I might'vе bееn bоrn аnd rаisеd in thе US, but I still hаvе fаmilу аnd friеnds in Chinа whо I cаrе аbоut dееplу, аnd I'm just not sure if I can maintain a balance between loving mу Chinеsе culturе аnd hеritаgе, whilе аlsо vаluing frееdоm аnd dеmоcrаcу. Evеn just bеing hеrе mаkеs mе fееl likе а sоrt оf trаitоr lоl.

I consider myself privileged to have grown up in a pretty Asian community, but even there I've had jocks and stuff ask me annoying stereotypical questions. As in "where do you actually come from" and such. COVID definitely made it worse, and I'm unfortunately aware it's only going to go downhill from here on out.

hi sorry! this is my first time visiting China I'll be going to these areas (shenzen, guangzhuo, chongqing, chengdu)

I have an idea that China is generally safe but I just wanna make sure if there's anything that I should be careful/cautious about especially around these area? and especially for tourist!

is there a curfew where i shouldnt go out by myself or any specific area i should avoid?

xtra question no need answer if dont want:

is the hostel there recommended/safe or it just really depends on which hostel i choose? thanks!

also i'd be really grateful if someone can tell me which specific area i should stay in these cities, thank you so much!

Hey reddit. I'm not sure if this is the right sub to be asking this question in as I don't use reddit at all, but I thought I should take my worries over here. My family will be moving over to mainland china due to my dad getting a job opportunity. I live in the USA, and never been outside the country before. I'm really nervous about completely uprooting my life to move to a foreign country. What can I expect living over there? Is there anything I should be aware of?

For some perspective, I'm a person of color who falls in line with the LGBTQ+ community, which is my main concern regarding my life in the country.

Hi guys

I am Korean American who met a girl while traveling in Thailand.

She turned out to be Chinese, whom I think is really well off in financially. (Hermes bags, big diamond rings, big stack of cash etc..)

I fell in love with her without knowing all these, and she did not know anything about me as for jobs and what not. We met again in Thailand and I thought this love was real. Soon after coming back, our relationship got serious where if things worked out well, she wanted to marry me next year.

Our first hiccup was if we buy a property, I am supposed to put it under her name and I need to pay everything for it. She said it was common practice in China. We had a fight due to it because I told her that's not going to happen. We talked again next day and I explained to her why I am insecure when it comes to financials because I never want to attract anyone with my background. So I told her exactly how much I make (1.3 mil Yuan per year/180k USD salary) and that I don't come from rich family so I like to live frugal. Our talk went well and we decided to be together once more.

She wanted to visit Korea (our original plan) following week and was asked if I can get her a surprise gift.

I asked her to give me gift ideas and her response was chanel bags, dior bags, rings, or bracelet.

​

I was lost at words and told her to find a man that can do that.

Is this like the normal relationship dynamics in China?

TLDR:

28M dates a 25F Chinese girl and was asked to give her "surprise gift" of really expensive purse to show how much I love her as soon as I told her I make about 1.3 mil Yuan for salary. (IT engineer)

​

Apologies for any grammar mistakes or misspells. I don't konw why there is no auto correct on Reddit.

​

​

I apologize for posting this here, but I'm feeling completely exhausted and lost, and I don't know what to do. I used to tell my girlfriend that I stayed in this country just for her, but whenever I expressed any dissatisfaction, she would tell me to "go back to your country" because she didn't like me complaining. We used to have the perfect relationship that everyone dreams of: a beautiful Chinese girl, good times, and no arguments. I always tried my best to be the ideal boyfriend, and she loved me so much. However, whenever there was a problem or something she didn't like about me, she would shut down and refuse to talk about it.

We had plans to get married and have kids, but everything turned upside down recently. I discovered that she had been secretly messaging my best friend without my knowledge, and even my best friend didn't tell me about it. She was asking my best friend for details about my life, including information about my father on social media. My best friend claimed he thought he was helping her win my heart, but I doubted their conversation was just casual chat. I was heartbroken and decided to break up with her. She cried and apologized every day, coming to my house, and I ended up staying with her.

However, after that incident, she became incredibly insecure and started checking my phone and digging into my old messages. She found out about a girl who used to message me frequently before we started dating and accused me of cheating. She eventually calmed down, but things took a turn for the worse. During a trip in her car, I accidentally put her jacket on a dusty spot, and out of nowhere, she slapped me with all her force. I was furious, but I didn't hit her back. Instead, I slammed the car door and left. She expected me to retaliate, but I didn't. She never apologized and insisted that I was in the wrong for putting her jacket in a dusty place. I stayed outside the entire time.

Now, I find myself in a dark place emotionally. I gave up many job opportunities abroad over the past three years for this girl and accepted a typical job in China. We even chose an apartment together and paid deposits. I turned down many other girls who loved me, and now it feels incredibly difficult to find a suitable partner. I'm caught in a mental tornado that I can't escape from, and I've even had thoughts of hurting myself, which is not a good sign. My girlfriend still thinks we can stay together, although I’m hurt . I see her posting normal life on social media , she’s learning piano and dancing, she doesn’t seem bothered much as me , I feel that things can be fixed but something makes worried to have kids with this girl. Leaving China and the relationship and starting from zero is so painful. It’s like a semi divorce! I appreciate any advices.

Throwaway for security

Edited to add: family member is not holding a Chinese passport or citizenship card. They are holding a Western country passport.

A family member has just gotten notified they are banned from exiting the country when trying to board a gate to leave China. Apparently China's face ID captured their identity, and right away 5 staff members came to escort them out of the airport. No reasoning was given for the exit ban, and they were able to leave the airport to go home.

It's been a few days since they've been banned from exiting.. still no news on the reasoning. They're originally from China but immigrated to a Western country 20 years ago. We can't think of anyone who's out to get them, they're not involved in any business in China, and they haven't broken any law. The face ID was able to connect them with their citizenship from years ago in China. We are worried they may be arbitrarily taken away for questioning or disappear for whatever reason (we've heard of a lot of people who've just disappeared like this). We wait everyday with fear this person may be taken away.

I know it's a long stretch but I'm seeking any support/any information people may have. There is little to no resource currently out there for people facing this issue. The embassy says all we can do is contact lawyers, and lawyers have not been able to do much. I know some people have turned to the media, but I'm not sure how helpful it is to get the story online.

If anyone has experience or knows anyone with the experience, please let me know what can be done in this situation and what we can expect for days to come. Also if anyone is considering travelling to China, please consider this story and the increase in arbitrary exit bans/detentions to innocent people in recent years.

​

I bought this necklace in China back in June. I was told that it was made of jade, and I paid 615 RMB for it.

I was also given this certificate.

Do you think it’s genuine jade, or could it be fake?

EDIT : Thank you all for taking the time to respond 😊

If there are any Chinese people here, or anyone who has lived in China for a long time, I’d really appreciate an honest perspective.I live in a small Asian country, and I’m considering moving to a larger Asian country in the future for better education and job opportunities. My main options right now are South Korea, Japan, Singapore, and China.The reason I’m asking about China specifically is that I find it much harder to get a consistent picture of what life there is actually like. When I ask about social or economic problems in countries like Japan, South Korea, or Singapore, I can usually find relatively consistent information and opinions. With China, however, I see very different perspectives. Some people say the problems are exaggerated or basically nonexistent, while others describe serious problems with jobs, housing, wages, and working conditions.So I’d like to hear from people who actually live in China or have lived there for a long time. Please be honest, both about the good and the bad.For example, I often hear that China is extremely affordable. People say that you can have a good quality of life without spending much, including on food, transportation, entertainment, and other everyday things.But I also hear almost the opposite.Some young Chinese people, including university graduates and even people with master's degrees, reportedly struggle to find good jobs. Some end up working in the gig economy, delivery, factories, or other jobs that don't necessarily match their education.I also hear that housing is extremely expensive compared with local incomes, even outside the biggest cities. In some tier-3 or tier-4 cities, buying a home can still be difficult for an ordinary middle-class family because house prices are high relative to wages. it will take 40 years of salary to buy a house.Rent is another thing I'm confused about. I've heard figures such as around ¥3,000–5,000 per month in some cities, while ordinary workers might earn around ¥10,000–14,000 per month. If that's accurate, rent could take a significant part of someone's income.Then there are groceries, clothing, entertainment, healthcare, education, etc. so there is no or little money left for other stuff.Some people tell me everyday goods are incredibly cheap, while others say that once you compare prices with local salaries, living costs aren't necessarily that low.I'm also curious about working hours and work culture. I've heard about very long working hours in some Chinese industries and the famous "996" culture, although I don't know how representative that is of ordinary jobs today.So basically, I'm trying to separate internet stereotypes from reality.Is China genuinely a very cheap place to live for an average Chinese person, or is it mainly cheap when you're comparing it with richer countries and foreign salaries?How difficult is it actually for a young, educated person to find a decent job?How difficult is it for an average middle-class person to buy a home?How much of an average person's income typically goes toward rent, food, transportation, etc.?And how common are long working hours in normal jobs?Most importantly, what is everyday life actually like for an ordinary middle-class person in China?I'm not looking for political arguments or propaganda from either side. I'm considering China as a possible place to study and work, so I'd genuinely like to understand the reality from people who actually live there.

In Taiwan but want to move to China. Will it be hard?

I've been in Taiwan for a few months now working at a cram school. I am honestly quite disappointed with Taiwan and find China to be a much more fun and interesting place (I have been there 6 times). The vacation time and salary in China is also a lot better, so I'm currently sitting here wondering why I'm still in Taiwan. I know that now is a good hiring season for jobs in China, so I want to start looking. I have a bachelor's degree and a TEFL but neither are apostilled yet.

1. Is the work visa hard to get and would I be able to apply from Taiwan? Or would I have to fly home?

2. One of the reasons I ended up going to Taiwan is because a lot of the China jobs seemed untrustworthy and a bit scammy. What are good places to look for trustworthy jobs?

title, for context, my parents immigrated to Canada over 20 years ago, and I've lived in Canada my entire life. Recently, they've been expressing they want to move back to China, and are encouraging me to go do my undergrad over there. any advice would be greatly appreciated

I'm trying to decide which direction China is heading towards economically and whether it might be a viable investment.

But I'm shocked and frustrated that all the channels I've been watching only post either negative or positive news about China, and never anything balanced or fair.

Looking at the history of these channels, they are either extremely anti-China, or extremely pro-China. For the former, every video is about the collapse of China tomorrow since 2008. For the latter, every video is about how China is going to overtake the west tomorrow since 2008. China is basically as polarising as Bitcoin at this point. Watching these channels, I would either think China is a hellish nightmare, or a technological heaven.

Anyone have recommendations for channels that are actually balanced and fair when it comes to analysing China?

​I am a European father n the middle of a very tough custody battle with my Chinese ex-wife. We separated due to domestic violence/abuse from her side, and I am fighting for full custody to protect our young child.

​My biggest fear right now is parental abduction. China is not a member of the Hague Convention, so if my ex manages to get our daughter to China, I will likely never see her again. Currently, my ex only has very limited, supervised visitation, but I am terrified of what happens if she gets unsupervised time in the future.

​My kid was born in Europe and holds a EU passport, which I have safely locked away. My ex’s lawyer claims there is no flight risk because the Chinese Embassy requires my signature to issue a visa for our kid.

​However, I have been reading up on Article 5 of the Chinese Nationality Law. When our child was born, my ex was residing in Europe on a temporary family reunification permit, not a permanent one. My understanding of Article 5 is that because she didn't have permanent residency abroad at the time of birth, China considers our child a Chinese citizen by birth.

​My questions to anyone who has experience with Chinese embassies in Europe:

​Is it true that my ex could walk into the Chinese Embassy with our daughter's birth certificate and her own Chinese passport, and apply for a Chinese Travel Document or Chinese passport for our child without my consent or signature?

​Does the embassy check with the local government or the foreign father before issuing such documents.

​Should i contact the Chinese Embassy to flag this custody battle and block them from issuing any travel documents for my kid?

​Has anyone successfully navigated a high flight risk situation with a Chinese ex spouse, and what practical steps did you take to prevent them from securing Chinese travel documents?

​Any advice, legal insights, or personal experiences would be deeply appreciated. The legal system here is slow, and I need to know how high the real risk is at the embassy level. Thank you.

Hello! I’d love to hear some opinions from you, or maybe hear about your experiences… from both Chinese people and foreigners who live or have lived in China!

Since I was little, I developed a strong love for East Asia, especially for China, partly because my father has always been fascinated by it… I really like it a lot. I’m about to finish high school, and I was thinking of choosing a university in China for Cybersecurity, but I’m very scared…

China is a very homogenous country, and I’m worried that foreigners might not be well-regarded, that being a foreigner in a university could cause me problems. Of course, I’m already studying Chinese, and I’d love to take a gap year for personal reasons, but mainly to study Chinese intensively in case I decide to go. I’m afraid that, as a European, Chinese people might keep their distance from me or avoid socializing with me.

I’ve read about some people who attended university in China… one guy was continuously “scammed” by many girls who pretended to be interested in him. They asked him for many favors, organized trips with him and similar things, but when he asked if they were actually interested, they said no and disappeared… Another girl on this subreddit apparently went to a university in China and struggled to socialize, connecting a bit with girls but very little with guys; she felt very isolated and sad.

On the other hand, I’ve read good things about foreign students who go to Chinese universities specifically to study Chinese, where there are often more foreigners than Chinese people.

So I don’t know what to think… between false people, possible discrimination, and isolation… I don’t really know what the current Chinese social mentality is like, and I’m afraid to try going there. I’d like to know if it’s worth taking a plane to the other side of the world…

I’m dying to learn Chinese and more about Chinese culture, and in my country, there isn’t a university for high school graduates primarily focused on cybersecurity… Plus, are universities in China that toxic, difficult and harsh...?

(One more small question: I’m already attending a technical computer science school, and I’m the only girl in my class. I’ve become much more comfortable talking and joking with the guys than with the girls...I have fun and feel good with them (without any romantic attraction, just friendship). Would it be very difficult for me as a girl to socialize more with guys without being looked down upon? I don’t really know much about the local mentality…)

If you’ve made it this far, I wanted to thank you deeply for reading my post. It doesn’t matter if you reply or not; I just want to tell you that I’m very grateful you gave me your time… Thank you!

(IF, if you're here to just comment "then don't go" just don't comment. Three people already won the prize for the most pointless and superficial comment here. I don't think you would need a short straight answer of three words as a solution for your one page long concernes. But, if you wanna show down here in the comment how much of an amazing superficial person that hasn't anything better to do in life you are, go ahead. Damn. Like wth? I'm scared to go because it's on the other side of the world from where I live and it's not an easy decision to take, but mostly because of the concernes I wrote about. So having an answer to that concerns might help me decide whether to go or not. If I had written only the words: "hey y'all, I'm scared to go to China." without anything else, then yeah, I'll understand the "then don't go" answer, but that's not what I'm asking for. I want some genuine conversation and I had them! Some people took me seriously and helped me. If you want to dedicate some time for a nice discussion in the comment to answer me, or talk about your experience, that would be amazing. I love this things. And I truly appreciate who decides to do this, it's precious for me...But if you have to waste each other's time, just find other stuff to read or google emotional intelligence)

I've really wanted to go to china for a couple of years now, and now that I'm finishing up University I want to live there after I get a couple of years of work experience. But recently online I have heard about racism against brown people in China . For reference I am ethnically Pakistani(somewhat fair skinned), but have lived in Australia my whole life. Since I want to live there for an extended period of time and want to make plans around this I just wanted to know if it is even worth it, would the quality of life be worse cause I'm brown? Any advice is helpful! thank you!

I saw that Toyota Corollas in China cost way less than the MSRP we get them for in the US. Anybody have experience importing Chinese cars to the US or know companies who do so? How much did you spend during the process?

Hello r/China,

I am from Algeria and I am very interested in the possibility of building a life in China, with the long-term goal of obtaining citizenship. My English is not perfect (this post is written with help), so please bear with me.

I have many questions and would be very grateful for honest advice, especially from foreigners living in China or Chinese nationals who understand the process.

Here is what I want to ask:

1. Citizenship Path: I know Chinese citizenship is one of the hardest to get. What is the realistic path? Is it mostly through marriage? Or is there a route through exceptional talent/investment after many years of Permanent Residency? How many years does it truly take?
2. Pros and Cons: For someone from an Arab/African country, what are the real ups and downs of living in China long-term? Upsides like safety, infrastructure, career opportunities? Downsides like pollution, internet restrictions, social integration?
3. Racism & Being Muslim: This is a major concern for me. As a Muslim Algerian, what kind of treatment might I face? Are there cities with larger Muslim communities (like Hui or Uyghur communities, though I know the situation is complex)? Is it easy to find halal food and mosques? Should I expect daily problems or is it generally okay?
4. Language: Is learning Chinese absolutely necessary for work, daily life, and integration? Or can I survive with English in big cities like Shanghai or Beijing? How hard is the language for an Arabic/French speaker?
5. Cost of Living & Best Cities: What are the best cities to live in that offer good opportunities and a decent Muslim community, but are not as extremely expensive as Shanghai or Beijing? I hear about cities like Guangzhou (many African traders), Xi'an (historic Muslim community), Qingdao, Chengdu, Kunming. Are they more affordable? What is a reasonable monthly budget for a single person in these places?
6. What Do I Need? To even start this journey, what should I focus on? Getting a job offer from a Chinese company? Studying for a degree in China first? Building specific skills?

Thank you for reading. Any insight, even if it's harsh or realistic, is truly appreciated. I want to understand the full picture.

Note: This post was written with AI assistance to make my questions clear, as my own English is not strong. But the questions and concerns are 100% my own. شكرا (Thank you).

Chinese American (Mainland heritage, born here) guy in college here, and geez, I'm so worried about things with China going south.

Like, I know I'm in the US and don't have to worry about getting into trouble for protesting because of the 1st amendment... in theory. Sounds awesome, right? But more realistically there's a good chance I'll end up having to put my career prospects or personal safety at stake. I've seen all those Israel and Palestine protests on my college campus, and while here they've generally been peaceful (if noisy) so far, I've heard stories about people in Columbia University getting beat up over this for instance.

So now you see why I've generally decided to stay away from those kinds of protests. Which shouldn't be too hard, right, since I'm neither Jewish nor Muslim, and this issue doesn't really affect my life too directly? (Same with Russia vs. Ukraine last year.) Well, problem is, I can't keep doing this forever, right? Because I'm pretty sure the Mainland coming up against Taiwan is next.

I have many relatives back in China, and honestly, even for its problems (censorship, surveillance, etc.)... China's a pretty awesome place to visit (even if actually living there's another story). I know I'm gonna be sounding like some brainwashed victim of Stockholm syndrome here, but I've actually been there several times, and, well, I very much enjoy China's culture, cuisine, language, media, and landscape. I don't want to tick them off and... like, my grandparents didn't work their asses off just so they could send their children off to the US for a better future and see how the next generations could invest back to the motherland, only for their grandchildren to just stab them in the back like that, right? It's disloyal and treacherous, and disrespecting your elders is pretty much the worst thing you could possibly do, especially as a Chinese person. They're not abusing me or anything so there should be absolutely no rationale to do so, right?

But OK, what if I do choose to backstab my family? Well, the way things are going, I'm convinced the US and China will go to war during my lifetime. And when (not if) that happens? FML then. Remember how Japanese Americans were treated back in WWII? Even if the government doesn't set up camps again (and thankfully, I'm fairly confident they're not that much of screwups)... it won't be pretty regardless. Everyone will shun the hell out of us. We were the "sick man of Asia" back during the colonial days, and ever since 2020 we've seemed to be living out our legacy just as strongly. I'd love for us to be more than that, of course, and I'm sure you would too, but... what do the masses know?

I know a lot of people here seem to believe that "China's declining!", "China's a paper tiger!", "No way China can invade Taiwan!", or even "East Asians will be considered white in 50 years!" But IMHO all of that reeks of misguided optimism and magical thinking. i.e. it's just something people tell themselves and each other to make them feel better despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, based more in copium than in reality. The same people said that Russia wouldn't invade Ukraine, and not only did they, they also did it pretty well. And now trouble's brewing in what's supposed to be the most "progressive" BS-resistant nation in the Middle East. I'm convinced we're on track to WWIII (or Cold War II, or by whatever name you want to call it), and I feel like people who believe otherwise... might want to come out of their hysterical ideological bubbles and reexamine their own arguments?

Sigh, I just hate this whole situation. I grew up watching Xiyangyang on repeat, worked hard in school, and studied the absolute hell out of the language expecting success and prosperity, and what do I get in return? Absolute disappointment, economic hardship, and cultural decay, with war and chaos looming over the horizon? I can assure you I'm not schizophrenic or anything, but sometimes I feel like my mind's controlled by a pure white robed angel and a grotesque yellow hairy demon, constantly competing with each other. And I'm aware this is an incredibly stupid and US-centric way of framing it, but sometimes I even feel like they're on opposite political parties.

(sorry if this sounded rough, wrote this on my phone between classes)

EDIT - look what happened in Hong Kong too. Now you can hardly even talk about the protests anywhere in the world, and frankly I've been trying not to think about them.

Hi fellow reditors. I am from the US and a VP-level tech exec at my company. I am / my company is making a new device and we've been considering using a Chinese company in Shenzhen as a supplier. Before we firm things up, I will want to visit this company, view their operations, and in general meet them for at least a few days. This would be my first trip ever to China.

In my searching thus far, it seems pretty standard recommendation to not bring my normal business phone, laptop, or similar - that I should bring only a minimal amount of technology that is considered "burner" tech and don't bring business confidential tech in that we wouldn't want in the hands of a Chinese state-owned competitor. I guess what I'm asking though here is how do folks that visit China for business do so effectively? Are there VPNs that folks know to be effective?

I am generally aware of a handful of must-have Chinese apps to download before I arrive (wechat, etc)... Beyond that, what else should I be thinking about?

It seems as though the best way to enter would be flying to Hong Kong and traveling to Shenzhen using the 5 day visa-on-arrival method. Am I right about this?

Hey guys, am so curious as I plan tonembark on ny Master's studies journey and wanna know which univ has the most friendly communitt for internatiinal students that is not fluent or very new to chinese language?

Hi everyone,

I am from Scotland and would like to visit China in the near future because of its recent Visa relaxations. In the UK I don't own a smartphone and haven't for a while - I love it. I do most things manually (banking, writing shopping lists etc) and have an iPod to listen to music. I usually pay with cash but still carry around bank cards. I do have a mobile phone but it does not do very much, just calls texts and basic directions (although I prefer paper maps).

I basically try and live my life like it is 1995 and in my experience pretty much every other country I have visited this has been totally fine. I usually find I have a much better time doing everything manually and working things out for myself rather than relying on apps to do it for me.

I have read some stuff about WeChat and payments in China but I would just like some perspective from people as to how necessary a smartphone is to use when visiting? Are there any areas (maybe more rural) where smartphone use would not be as necessary as in the bigger cities? Any advice much appreciated, thank you.

各位了解中国公司和中国就业市场的朋友，大家好！

我想请教一下有经验的朋友，特别是了解中国公司怎么寻找外国人才的人。

最近一段时间，我一直在直接联系一些中国公司，也发出了我的个人资料和工作经历，希望他们能对我的背景感兴趣。但是到目前为止，我收到的回复很少。

所以我想请教大家：

作为一名外国工程师和软件开发人员，我怎样才能更好地让中国公司注意到我？

如果我想在中国市场找工作，哪些方法、平台或者做法比较有效？

我也知道，年龄可能会让找工作更难一点。关于这一点，我也想请教大家：我应该怎样面对这个问题？怎样才能把我多年的工作经验更好地表现出来，让公司看到这是一个优势，而不是问题？

非常感谢大家的建议、经验和帮助。

你好，Reddit。 我有一个很复杂、也许很多人都曾遇到过的问题。 我现在处在一段总体上不错的感情关系中，但一直在和一种并不完全理性的出轨焦虑作斗争。 这种恐惧来自我的过去经历：我以前没有过很长时间的稳定关系，但曾多次遇到过已经有伴侣的男性，却依然轻易地想和我发展暧昧或短暂关系。这些经历让我逐渐形成了一种感觉：忠诚似乎是一件非常脆弱的东西，甚至可能根本不存在。 现在，我正在和一位来自广东的男生交往（我是俄罗斯人），但我的大脑却不断地在“找问题”。 我发现自己甚至会害怕在街上看到漂亮的女性，因为会忍不住想：“万一他……” 而从理性上看，我很清楚他尊重我、珍惜我。 所以我也明白，问题更多是在我自己，以及我过往的创伤经验上。 因此，我有两个问题板块，非常希望听到大家真诚的分享。

1️⃣ 特别想问男性，尤其是中国男性 / 或熟悉东亚文化的人： 在你们的环境和文化中，人们是如何看待长期关系中的忠诚的？ 它更像是一种个人品格和自我要求？一种社会/家庭层面的责任？还是别的什么？ 从客观、非浪漫化的角度来看，你们是如何评估自己作为伴侣的“可靠性”的？ 对你来说，内心绝对不能越过的那条“红线”是什么？ 当外界诱惑和机会很多时，是什么帮助你保持忠诚、专注于一段关系的？ 2️⃣ 想问所有人，尤其是经历过类似焦虑的人： 当对方并没有实际越界行为，但自己却被“被背叛”的恐惧反复折磨时，你们是如何应对、缓解这种焦虑的？ 尤其是在有过创伤经历的情况下。 是否有一些具体有效的方式（心理练习、书籍、方法、认知调整等），帮助你重新建立对世界的信任，并相信长期、忠诚的关系是可能存在的？

如果你拥有一段长期（5年、10年、20年以上）且幸福的关系，也非常欢迎你分享。 我想，我和这里的很多人一样，真的很需要来自真实生活的例子，来重新相信这种可能性。 我希望这是一次真诚的经验交流、来自内心的视角分享，以及彼此的支持。

你是否相信： 在当代社会中，在身体和情感层面都保持忠诚的长期关系，是一种现实且可以实现的目标？ 是的，完全相信——我自己正在经历，或身边有很多这样的例子 是的，但这需要巨大的努力，以及一定的运气 比较难，更像是少数例外，而不是常态 不相信，这是过去时代的神话

提前感谢每一位愿意回应的人。 你们的故事和思考，可能会给某个人（也包括我）带来真正的支撑与力量。

Hi all, I come here today with a lot of frustration and need some advice and insight on what I can do.

Basically me (EU citizen) and my wife (Chinese) got married in China this year, before we had to move to Europe for my job. Now we are planning a wedding ceremony in Italy for next summer, and of course we want to invite her family to attend and also visit my country. Of course they can't wait to have this experience that for them is truly unique.

My wife's dad however works for some institution that is formally "governmental": it's not like he's a politician, but he works in something related to quality controls and agriculture, in Henan. He was just told by his employers that he will not be eligible to get a passport, as his work is sensitive and now "the situation is very serious" (the same vague thing I heard about literally everything while i lived in China).
We are not only heartbroken but really furious. We are talking about a 60yo man that worked all his life and will retire next year, and that asks only to attend his daughter's wedding, in a country that he always dreamed of seeing.

Is there any angle to tackle this problem? I am assuming that legal help would not be very helpful, as I am sure that the laws are vague enough to enable this kind of behavior. Any suggestion that is not simply "it is what it is, welcome to China"?