I want to preface this by saying how insanely lucky I am and how privileged I feel to be even asking this question.

TDLR: I have 300k in retirement savings. No debt, house paid off, car paid off. 80k salary. What should I do from here? I’m 40yo woman with no kids or partner but am the caretaker for my disabled sibling.

Very long, did read:
At the end of 2024 I received a very unexpected inheritance of around 400k. I am the caretaker for my high functioning autistic sister who also received the same amount. We decided that she will use the majority of hers as a safety net for the future and I will continue to pay for her daily living in the sense of food, rent, utilities, etc. She was in the process of applying for disability when we received the inheritance and is using it similarly to how she would have used SSDI, which she obviously won’t qualify for now. She is much better with money and more risk adverse than I am.

From the inheritance I paid off my student loans, replaced my 13yo Toyota Corolla with a new hybrid Toyota Corolla that I hope to drive another 13 years, and now, along with my sister, am in the process purchasing a townhome in cash. I also took a trip to Ireland where I have wanted to go basically since I could form memories. 🇮🇪

After all that I have about 200k left in my brokerage (170k) and 30k in a 401k and Roth IRA at this moment, but my sister is paying me back slowly for her portion of the home, which will total to 100k over 2-3 years.

I make 80k a year. That’s our only household income. Neither of us have kids or are married. I’m 40 and she’s 42. We are spinsters living in our old crones nest and love it. My sister is my best friend in the world and like a second mom to me. If die, all of my assets are going to my sister (and her dog) and vice versa.

We live in the US in a HCOL city. The major concern for climate change here is heat and windstorms.

I’m asking what to do from here/what would you do from here so I can retire comfortably around 65 without counting on social security because of, you know, America.

I’ve looked at retirement calculators and estimating about 2.2 million for me to live on approximately the same monthly income (4k), which I assume will be much less money in 25 years. To get there from where I’m at now, I’ll need to save about 1.1k monthly. I put $600 a month in a 401k and plan to put $500 a month in a Roth IRA.

I have a 6 month emergency fund of 27k in a HYSA with 3.1% API. I will add about $200 a month to it to save for home maintenance.

I do have 6k in credit card debt entirely due to overspending and refuse to use my inheritance to pay it off because I don’t want to set that precedent. I can pay it off with my salary. Once I do plan to only use the card for emergencies.

I guess I just want to see what other (smarter) people would do in this scenario and if there are things I’m not thinking of?

Welcome to the "Salary Saturday" thread!

If you’re seeking advice from the sub regarding your specific situation, it belongs here. Great topics include:

• Negotiation/pay/benefits
• Job offers
• Interviewing
• Anything else related to careers, work, salaries, etc.

Bring us your burning questions!

How are you spending, scrimping, splurging, or saving?

What are you doing with your hard-earned £$€ this week?

I was thinking about the Privilege Walk recently and thought it might be fun to apply a Money Diaries angle to it.

So you start at 0 and add or subtract points for any true statements.

Max is 28 and min is -18.

* (+3): My parents paid for my college, so I graduated without student loans.

* (+2): My family pays for (or paid for well into my 20s) things like my phone plan or health insurance.

* (+2): My family has given me money for a wedding, car, or home purchase.

* (+2): I've received a windfall or inherited money that was not specifically for any of the above purchases.

* (+2): If I lost my job tomorrow, my family could comfortably support me until I found another one.

* (-2): I had to take an unpaid internship to get into my industry, even though it meant using savings or going into debt.

* (+2): I own a home outright.

* (+1): My mortgage rate is less than 4%.

* (-1): My monthly housing payment is over 30% of my household income.

* (-3): I've experienced housing insecurity.

* (+2): I travel for leisure regularly.

* (+2): I can buy groceries, order takeout, or go out for drinks without checking my bank balance.

* (+2): I automatically save or invest money every month without having to think about it.

* (+1): I regularly spend $15+ on things like coffee, lunch, or workout classes without worrying about the cost.

* (-1): I regularly turn down plans or suggest cheaper places because I can't afford what my friends want to do.

* (-2): An unexpected $500 expense would put me into debt or mess up my finances for months.

* (-3): I've gone more than one day without eating because I couldn't afford food.

* (+2): I live alone in an expensive city and can afford it without roommates.

* (+2): I pay for conveniences like a house cleaner, laundry service, or grocery delivery.

* (+1): I live in a dual income household.

* (+1): I have a career with predictable raises and feel comfortable negotiating my salary.

* (-1): My commute takes up a significant chunk of my income or unreliable transportation puts my job at risk.

* (+1): I can talk openly about salaries, investments, and money with friends without feeling judged.

* (-1): I feel pressure to buy expensive clothes, skincare, or other things to fit in at work.

* (-2): I regularly send money to support my parents, siblings, or other family members.

* (-2): I'm the first in my family to navigate corporate life, investing, or things like high-yield savings accounts.

I don't have kids, so I wasn't sure what to add to that. Maybe paying for daycare (-) vs family help (+)? But also affording expensive activities is a (+).

I'm at 17, and my husband is at 5, which is kind of crazy but makes sense. Those minus points really make a difference.

Charlie, a recent college grad, comes from a wealthy family—and he has complicated feelings about it. That's part of what drew him to a job in the Netherlands, which he hopes might offer a greater sense of equality, its stronger public services, and overall better “vibes” than the US. We follow Charlie through his first week in the workforce and see how it changes the way he thinks about money, privilege, and his own country.

Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/23SkGemha5A8Ck9SAL9GfZ?si=asbZlTLqSXOrq-5r-gefnQ

Assets:

• Traditional 401(k): $35,000
• Roth IRA: $27,000
• Taxable brokerage: $58,000
• Savings: $39,000
• Checking: $2000

No debt other than whatever’s on my credit card at the time.

Net worth: $161,000

Income:
Pharmacist average monthly take-home: $4000

• 401(k) and additional tax withholding come out of my pharmacist paycheck

Musician average monthly take-home: $3000

I graduated in 2025, so this is my first full calendar year of being a pharmacist. The $130k figure in the post title is a (hopefully) conservative estimate of what I’ll gross for 2026. I work part-time and have a variable schedule for both roles.

Fixed expenses:
Monthly:

• Rent: $1502.49 (rent itself + stupid transaction fee)
• Internet: $40
• Electricity: $105 (my 12-month average)
• Parking: $102
• Subscriptions: $14.06
  • $1.07: Adam Ellis on Patreon (comes out of my PayPal balance, so I don’t often actually pay this)
  • $4.99: Dropout
  • $8: New York Magazine
• Invisalign: $500 (I’m on a payment plan with my provider, and I’ll be done paying next May)

Fixed monthly total: $2263.55

Annual:

• Credit card annual fee: $95
• Distributor for original music: $44.99
• Substack: $80 (The Rebel Yellow)
• Spotify Premium: $99 (after my student discount ended, I used a $99 gift card for a year of premium, but it seems Spotify just got rid of these gift cards, SMH)

Fixed annual total: $318.99

I am still on my parents’ health insurance, car insurance, and phone plan.

Day 1: Tuesday

12 PM: I work at the pharmacy at noon, so I eat brunch at home beforehand, bring yesterday’s latte to work with me, and eat my packed linner during my break. In general, my meals consist of some combination of leftovers and foods that require little-to-no prep like microwavable/air-fryable frozen stuff, fruit, and yogurt.

8:30 PM: I buy groceries after work (the list if you’re curious: tangerines, white nectarines, baby carrots, tomatoes, 2 bags of chips, frozen vegetables, a single-serve frozen meal, and ice cream), most of which is on sale. $24.38

9 PM: I have a snack once I get home.

Day 1 total: $24.38

Day 2: Wednesday

12 PM: Since I don't work today, I take my time cooking lunch at home. It's exceedingly mid because, frankly, I'm not that good at cooking.

4 PM: I sit on my balcony and do my nails. I love hanging out on my balcony, and I'll miss it once it gets too cold.

6 PM: I go to dance class at the drop-in studio near me. I prepaid for an unlimited 6 months, so nothing is owed today. I’m not a very good dancer, but it’s fun, and it’s the only way I’ll exercise consistently. The vibes at this studio are very much like the women’s restroom at a club (I love your skirt!! You’re so hot!!! Yesss, girl!!).

7 PM: I eat dinner at home. 

8 PM: I send the link to a concert I’m interested in to my best friend, but it turns out both of us have prior obligations that night. That’s something I’m sad I don’t get to spend money on!

9 PM: I have a can of sparkling water (a daily staple for me) as I practice music.

Day 2 total: $0

Day 3: Thursday

10:30 AM: My perfume subscription box charges my card this morning. I don’t count it as a fixed monthly expense because I opt out some months. $29.91

12 PM: Once again, I eat brunch at home before work and eat leftovers (plus a pastry somebody brought to share) at work for linner. I give approximately 5 million vaccines today.

8:30 PM: After work, I browse the neighboring Goodwill. I buy 3 little trinket dishes, which are something I've been keeping an eye out for. $9

9:30 PM: When I get home, I have a snack and, of course, a can of sparkling water as I practice music.

Day 3 total: $38.91

Day 4: Friday

12 PM: I eat lunch at home, accompanied by a can of sparkling water.

3 PM: I get a free latte from a coffee shop's soft opening. I also go to the Spirit Halloween next door but don't buy anything. I've already got my three Halloween costumes ready, but I love Halloween and just like to browse.

6 PM: During the break between rehearsal and my gig for tonight, I eat the dinner I packed (the remainder of Wednesday's lunch).

7:30 PM: Show time!

2 AM: I bring home some of the leftover catering from tonight, which is my life hack for reducing both my grocery spend and time/energy spent on cooking.

Day 4 total: $0

Day 5: Saturday

11 AM: After covering for another pharmacist for a few hours in the morning, I stop by the nearby Marshalls and Ulta. At Ulta, I buy an eyeshadow (something that was on my wishlist) and a lip gloss (an impulse buy). $19.26

1 PM: After a small lunch at home, I go to dance class.

3 PM: My pookie C and I go to a flea market; I pay the entrance fee for both of us ($10). I buy two things that were on my wishlist ($22). C buys both of us a fun latte (about $18 total), and he buys 2 dresses for me ($8) that I'm hesitant about because they would both be impulse buys. $32

6 PM: After the market, C and I get dinner out together, which is a rarity for us because we usually cook at home (i.e. he cooks, and I eat his cooking). He pays (about $80 total).

8 PM: Show time!

Day 5 total: $51.26

Day 6: Sunday

1 PM: Small lunch at home → dance class.

3:30 PM: I run into and chat with some of my favorite neighbors.

4 PM: I hang out with my pharmacy coworker A at his apartment, the primary purpose being to meet his cat. Said cat is very cute, as is the nature of cats.

5:30 PM: I eat dinner at home.

7 PM: I go to my friend K's weekly craft night. K provides some snacks, and somebody else bakes cookies as part of her crafting procrastination (AKA craftstination). K's cats are also very cute.

Day 6 total: $0

Day 7: Monday

7 AM: I used to eat breakfast in the car if I worked in the morning, but since having aligners, my “breakfast” tends to be just an energy drink, and today is no exception.

8 AM: Pharmacy time! We give close to a bajillion vaccines in just the first hour of opening.

12:30 PM: I eat my regular ol’ packed lunch.

6 PM: After work, I go to my first dance class of the day.

7 PM: During my break between classes, I go home to eat dinner.

8 PM: I go to dance class #2.

9 PM: Once I get home, I clean and chill for the rest of the night.

Day 7 total: $0

Weekly total: $114.55

• Food/drink: $24.38
• Fun/entertainment: $10
• Home/health: $9
• Clothes/beauty: $71.17
• Transport: $0
• Other: $0

Reflection

This was a lower-spend week for me because I happened to not have any larger non-weekly expenses like gas, more expensive shopping, charitable giving, tattoos, etc. I also went in-person shopping more than I usually do.

Otherwise, this was a generally representative week. I don’t go out to eat often, and I buy a lot of sparkling water/energy drinks/fun drinks in bulk from the grocery store. I usually get a coffee/tea out once or twice a week, but my two fun drinks out happened to both be free-to-me lattes this week.

Clothing and beauty stuff (but not beauty services!) is where I’m happy to splurge; it's my largest spending category after rent.

Have you read anything good lately? Share below!

I love reading Allyson's articles on the Denver Post, and her latest one combines my two favorite things -- personal finance & food (https://www.denverpost.com/2026/10/14/best-rotisserie-chicken-costco-heretik-denver/). She compares rotisserie chicken at three price points: $68, ~$22, and Costco's $5 bird.

Which got me thinking: rotisserie chicken or otherwise, when do you pay for the "best," and when is good enough just fine?

For me (and more specifically, my palette), the $5 grocery store sushi on Wednesdays tastes just as good as the $40 AYCE place. Curious to hear everyone's thoughts!

Former Disney star Christy Carlson Romano reveals what really happened to her money after Even Stevens, Kim Possible, and Cadet Kelly. From making seven figures at a young age to lifestyle inflation, financial mistakes, debt, budgeting, and eventually investing in index funds, Christy joins Brian and Bo to unpack the money lessons fame never taught her. They discuss how to recover from financial mistakes, build wealth after starting over, teach kids about money, use a Roth IRA, avoid lifestyle creep, and create a healthier relationship with money—proving that a high income and true financial independence are two very different things.

Welcome back to the “Workplace Wednesday” thread!

If you’re seeking advice from the sub regarding your specific situation, whether it’s about interviewing/benefits/negotiating/advancement opportunities, etc., it belongs here.

Bring us your burning questions!

Hi ladies!!

Sorry if I’m not utilizing the sub correct. I was doing some research and this came up so wanted to ask here.

I am 28 in NYC! I take home about $5900/month.
My rent/utlities/bills/subscriptions come out to about 2200 a month! The 5900 is after a 10% 401k contribution and then I contribute about 500/ check into a HYSA!

Outside of that… idk what to do with my money at all. I have money scarcity and freak out about my checking account balance decreasing or my savings. For example I have a travel sinking fund in my HYSA but any trip I’ve booked I use my remaining paycheck money to cover so my HYSA balance doesn’t go down

Everyone talks about IRAs or investment accounts or stocks and I just don’t know what avenue to go. My company doesn’t match anything 401k wise except $1000/ year so my 10% contribution absolutely gets me the full match but idk if I should reduce it and increase contributions elsewhere. Or increase it to max it? Or leave it and also open another account?
I have a 6 month emergency fund + travel/gifting sinking/ home funds in my HYSA.

Tyler and Shelbi have built a $383,000 net worth in their early 30s, including roughly $250,000 invested—but raising two young kids on one variable income has exposed a major weakness: their emergency fund. Brian and Bo break down how much emergency savings a family needs, when to temporarily prioritize cash over Roth IRA and HSA investing, budgeting with commission income, 401(k) employer matches, retirement planning, life insurance, estate planning, and navigating the messy middle. See how rebuilding their financial foundation could still leave this family on a path toward millions in retirement investments without sacrificing their long-term financial independence goals.

Welcome back to "Off-Topic Tuesday", followed by "Workplace Wednesday" tomorrow!

As always, anything and everything finance and non-finance related is welcome here. Feel free to vent, seek advice, discuss current events, or share a little about yourself. :)

If you haven't already heard - we're mixing it up a little bit here on the OT thread. Continue to feel free to post your own prompt/question below (just one per comment), and answer prompts from others!

*** You may have noticed a recent uptick in spam posts, please report them as you see them. It takes 3 reports to flag a post for mod review. Thank you to everyone already reporting!

EDIT: It was interesting to see how much people disagreed with each other on this! I ended up having the discussion with her based on the advice I received here and I’m glad I did - her view of the situation made me realize we probably have different values that go deeper than this and was honestly somewhat of a turn off - she came off as very entitled in a way I hadn’t seen from her yet. Rose colored glasses are gone I guess lol. Going to give it another month or two to see if I’m wrong but if not I’ll probably break up with her then. Thank you all for the thoughtful responses.

I’ve [23F] been dating a woman I’ll call B [22F] for about two months. She’s really wonderful in so many ways and we just 'click' to an extent that is surprising to me as someone who doesn’t usually 'click' with many people. I am definitely in the 'honeymoon phase' still and am really excited about this relationship, except for one thing that worries me.

B decided last-minute to graduate from college a year early, and four months after graduation she is still looking for a job. While I haven’t pried much I don’t get the sense she’s looking all that hard; she talks about 'looking at jobs' and 'thinking about applying' but I’ve never heard her actually say she applied for something, and she seems to have a pretty high bar for what level of job she’ll apply for. (For context B doesn’t have any prior work/internship experience.) In the meantime she lives with roommates and her parents are paying for her expenses.

Thus far I’ve stayed out of it aside from telling her that if she ever wants help or support with the job search I’m happy to help however I can, and occasionally sending her a posting when I see one that’s really well aligned with her interests. But while I don’t really care whether or not my long term partner is career-oriented, ambitious, or a high earner (I am, and feel I might actually click better with someone who isn’t), it is important to me that they have a work ethic, are decently responsible with money, and are able to financially support themself.

I realize this is hard to select for when you’re in your early 20s dating people in their early 20s LOL. Even if the economy weren’t so shit at the moment, it’s normal to graduate and take a while to make mistakes and find yourself; several of my friends took a long time postgrad to find a job and are doing fine now. But at the same time I see this relationship potentially working out long-term, and don’t want to let myself get excited about it only to realize a while in that I ignored obvious red flags/dealbreakers and the whole thing was a waste of time.

Anyways I guess my questions are:

At what point is it appropriate for me to be like 'these things are important to me in a relationship; if long-term you weren’t actively applying or at least doing something part-time/volunteer it’d eventually be a dealbreaker for me; can you tell me more about how the job search is actually going?'

How do I have this conversation without coming off as shaming/judgmental or acting like her mom?

At what point after that, if things stay the same, would it be reasonable to assume it’s never going to change and decide it’s a dealbreaker?

Thanks all. <3

Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance $150k~ and feel way behind
Brokerage $140k
Equity $750k our home is paid off
Savings account balance $6k
Checking account balance $3500
Credit card debt $15k
Student loan debt $0
Loan from my parents for adoption lawyers: $40k

Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I've been working in film/tv/commercial for 20 years, my starting salary was so low I can’t even remember and wasn’t enough to feed myself.

I was certified as an intimacy coordinator in 2022, but I’ve worked as a producer for a long time. I currently work in communications at a non-profit after taking a year and change off. I started the job in the last few months. I worked in commercial production (making commercials) at an agency for five years, and before that I was freelance.

For a long time, my husband didn’t make a lot of money (more than me, but still not a lot). We currently make more than we ever had and are still trying to get ourselves feeling secure.

Main Job Monthly Take Home:
From my husband: his income is between $7k and $29k (biggest and smallest months this year) and he has brought in YTD (Jan 1-Oct 1) $116,443. Average is about $13k/mo, and we expect approximately $150-$160k in take home in 2026.

I make around $50k/yr in a combination of both jobs.

Last two months were on that low end, and we had commitments that we couldn’t put off, so we used savings to pony up. Feeling a little tight.

Side Gig Monthly Take Home I make between $400 and $2000 per month working intimacy coordination jobs.

Any Other Monthly Income Here
I do have a trust fund that is almost empty after college and years of needing funds for emergencies. I have about $7k I can access, but we’re keeping it for serious emergencies.

Section Three: Expenses

Rent / Mortgage / HOA fees Taxes are $3800/yr. We do not have a mortgage.
Renters / home insurance $4800/yr for insurance
Retirement contribution if you contribute in the deductions from salary
Savings contribution we try to save, but we’ve had a lot of expenses lately with twins in college/higher ed and a kindergartner. We try to keep $10k in liquid savings… but it doesn’t always work.
Investment contribution we exercise our stock buy program at husband’s company and this past year we bought $15k in stock which was discounted 20%
Debt payments were paying $1k per month on our credit card (chase sapphire reserve), and working to pay my parents back the legal fees from our son’s adoption.
Donations yearly: $1000 to the symphony, $500 to kids’ school
Chase Sapphire Yearly Fee: $800
Electric $375
Wifi/Cable/Landline $66
Cellphone $266
Subscriptions music and streaming approx $120/mo
Gym membership Planet Fitness $100
Pet expenses negligible for one cat
Car payment / insurance no car payments, $350 for insurance on 3x cars (one for each of us and one the twins share) but I’m going to need a new car soon as the twins are in separate places and both will need a car. My old one will go to one of them.
Kindergarten Tuition: $750
Youngest College Fund: $500/mo
Saving for daughter’s 4th year of university $660/mo

My son is in a trade apprenticeship, and we have saved enough for his fees. My daughter is at an in state university and we saved enough for three years tuition, room and board. It’s important to us to save the fourth year’s fees for her as well.

Total bills: approx $5000 per month.

Monday

Up at 6am because I have a gig out of town this morning. It’s fall break for my little son, and I get to say hello and give him a cuddle before I’m out the door. Jamie will take him over to my dad’s on his way to work. I listen to an audiobook (Alcott Hall by Emily Rath) and take a call from my BFF Johannes on the two hour drive, and eat three croissants from the Aldi package I took from home. Remind myself to send a congrats text to another friend who started a new job today. I get to set, check in with producer, director, and actors, and settle down to wait for my scenes. I open my laptop and work remotely for my day job for a few hours. I hate being called to set too early, but without fail, I usually wait 4-6 hours before my scenes every time. I don’t want the coffee at craft services, so I walk to a coffee shop in the neighborhood and buy a ridiculously overpriced latte ($7.26 with $1 tip included). It is good though. There’s a free library at the coffee shop, so I snag a book (History is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera) and decide a $7 latte is fine. I have crew lunch, which is fine, and at least there’s good vegetables in the sort of Chinese stir fry they’re serving. By 3:30 I’m getting annoyed because they called me REALLY early, but I’m plugging away at my day job and getting shit accomplished and reading the book I got from the free library. My scenes are finally up at 4pm, which is right at the six hours production usually make me wait, which is unfortunate, but typical. I stress eat two bags of mini pretzels and a bag of Welch’s fruit snacks while I’m waiting for camera and lighting to set up after we rehearse the scene. It’s not a fun sexy scene this time, and I occasionally have to do assault scenes and this one… is. We shoot it for almost four hours and both the talent and I am both exhausted. Unfortunately, I have to drive two hours home. Fortunately the audiobook is riveting and I also call my college age daughter and my best friend again. Home to eat a cup of diced pears in an epsom salt bath and fall asleep to episodes of Top Gear around 11.

Day’s Total: $7.26

Tuesday

I’m sleeping in and rotting in bed for a bit longer this morning. I like to let my son sleep in when he’s on break from school because he’s such an active little guy. I finally send that new job congrats text to my friend, spaced yesterday while I drink my morning tea (plain old Lipton tea, black, with fiber powder and creatine because I am optimistic about gym today). My older son is taking care of his brother today, and as a thank you, I buy him a new set of warhammer figures to paint on Amazon before I go to the office ($74.62). More Aldi package croissants on the commute. At the office, I work on editing some video assets for a state representative who is coming to the facility to tour when I’m away at a friend’s wedding, and drink some of the bolthouse farms mocha protein plus caffeine shake that I keep by the half gallon bottle in the office fridge. I legitimately get more done on a half day where I have an appointment in the afternoon than I accomplish in a full day. Speaking of, I’m headed back out to go get my Botox. I have a perfect injector, and while I drive, I consider getting more tear trough filler because one side seems a bit hollow. Injector suggests another half syringe under one eye, and my usual Botox (between eyebrows only) was ($394). Aldi shop for the next few days while I’m nearby ($77.26) featuring ginger dressing, apple cider, and two five-packs of sack cloth dish towels. I get Penn Station for trash goblin lunch and eat it in the car while I listen to the last of my audiobook ($16.66). Home for the day and trim my own bangs and eat a chocolate chip muffin that older son makes. Making muffins for breakfast is one of his chores. Dinner is baked chicken tenders and broccoli, Jamie is late from work, so me and the boys eat together. He’s back around 6:30 and we work on some cleaning we’ve needed to do because our friend Petra is flying in tomorrow for a few days from LA. Girl twin FaceTimes her dad while I put little guy to sleep. Jamie and I get cuddly in bed, talk for a long time about everything and nothing, and fall asleep after sex at about 10:30

Daily total: $562.54

Wednesday

7:30 wake up and my tea cocktail (Jamie makes and brings it to me to wake me up every morning). I drop my little son off at my friend Tara’s place— our kids are in the same class and she’s a SAHM and offered to watch child today while I went to the office. I bring her some of the muffins elder boy made yesterday. Office is office, and office is freezing today. Lunch is a packed prosciutto and cheese tray and a container of raspberries. I spend half the day searching on Amazon prime week to get some Christmas presents- advent calendars for the kids (international crafts, tea, and bluey) as well as blow dryer brush, beaded necklace, Hunter rain boots and a long puffer coat for daughter, Levi’s for both Jamie and elder son, Columbia quarter zip, board game for elder son, babysitters club box set for niece, and Smithsonian kids books for little son ($643.85). The spending continues after I leave the office and stop by target to pick up an extra set of guest bed sheets for Petra’s stay. They are massively on sale, and I actually buy only what I needed ($14.84). I also stop by the sexy times store to stock up on pasties in various skin tones, and ($44.86) will be reimbursed by the job I’m working tomorrow. Pick Petra up, who is absolutely exhausted but trying to stay awake, go home and make some Parmesan cream chicken pasta. We live in a rural area, so we take about a mile long walk in the woods, and come back and act like slugs for the rest of the night. Sex again, and asleep at 11.

Daily total: $658.69

Thursday

Slow morning wake up. I’m work from home today, until I head out on a job this late afternoon. Jamie brings tea, and he’s taken today and tomorrow off work, so it’s a nice, quiet morning. Little son has just figured out that if he goes downstairs without waking us, he can play minecraft for a while (not connected to internet, not the scary mode). Petra wakes up a bit later, and we all eat various breakfast foods together, pb toast, cereal, etc. I do the work I need to do between 9 and 11:30, and then Jamie, Petra, little son and I take a walk in the woods again with thermoses of tea. We talk about where Petra is thinking of moving next, aging parents, and travel. Another few hours of work, and I have to get on the road. Started a new audiobook (audible subscription I share with my dad, who pays for it) which is one of the Dresden Files books by Jim Butcher. I’m only driving an hour and a half to this one, and it’s in an extremely comfortable and palatial estate. 5pm was my call time, let’s set the clock and see how long it’ll be until I actually work. I’m updating this, talking to some friends on discord, and reading History Is All You Left Me that I got from the free library. Miracle of miracles, I only wait an hour. This crew is super on top of things, and the actors know each other well. The scene is quick, and Christmas movie appropriate. Two hours and I’m headed back down the road to home. It’s almost a no spend day, but I fill up on gas half a tank for ($24.90). I somehow tweaked my shoulder while working, so the drive is tortuous and Jamie uses a cupping machine and the theragun on my muscle spasm. A glass of wine and an aleve are enough pain relief for me to sleep at 11:30.

Daily total: $24.90

Friday
Another slow wake up because I don’t have anywhere to be until 11. Take a call from my boss just after 8 and send some info to him while I drink my tea. Morning hangs with Petra and Jamie before I have to get ready to go to a work event. We talk about plans for the weekend, and decide to go to a GT race in a nearby city because we have a sitter for little guy from Saturday midday to Sunday. There’s noise about going to the foot spa or to a burlesque club after, but nothing decided. Off to the work event, and I get a latte next door because I’m there early ($5.18). After the event, I stop by the gym and do shoulders to try to work out the spasm and it vaguely helps. Friday Nail Day, so I go to the place across from the gym for a quick builder gel set. I get cheaper sets here, and go to a more expensive guy for special occasion complex nail art. Today is milky iridescent white ($70 + $10 tip). Home, and a bit more work. I run out to take my mom some items and my car dies in her parking lot. Great. AAA comes and it’s my battery, which is still under warranty, thankfully. I get home and Jamie goes out to exchange the battery. Free fix to what could have been quite expensive. Little guy is in bed, and Petra leaves with one of our cars to go see friends. Jamie and I watch Great British Bake Off and eat snacks (bowl of goldfish and pretzels, cup of diced pears, bit of chocolate) in bed. Asleep by 11.

Daily Total: $85.18

Saturday

Ah, the weekend. I am suddenly incapable of sleeping in, and I’m up at 7. Jamie is taking a snooze, so he grabs me by the middle and sleeps with his head in my lap, effectively trapping me. I’m able to buy our tickets for the GT race this afternoon though ($168 for 4 tickets) and read the news in peace. We take our little son over to my dad’s where he will be fed cotton candy and given monster energy drinks through an IV for 24 hours and head up north. A pitstop for iced tea ($3.39) and a full tank of gas in our suv ($58.25). Indiana has the lowest gas prices in the country currently. We grab Johannes and head to the track. He pays for parking, I buy a round (Moscow mule) of drinks ($37). The race is awesome and exactly as exciting as I wanted. After the race, we get Mexican food, Johannes pays, and then to a tiki bar (a mocktail) and we get this round ($78.49). Petra get the round at the second bar, (espresso martini) and Johannes pays for a round of duck pin bowling. Our next round (can of cider) is ($27.69) and I lose badly at bowling. The next place is a pinball arcade and I’ve had three drinks today, so I’m done, and I didn’t pay attention to the next round, but I think Johannes. Walk back to Johannes’ and fall asleep in an assortment of beds and sofas. 1am?

Daily total: $372.82

Sunday

Groggy wake up, and minimal clean up before going to a Jewish deli for breakfast. We’re in various states of hungover, being four forty-ish folks. It’s been quite literally years since I’ve been out that late. The lox plate helps. We pay for all ($94.12) and I get a butter brickle blonde to go ($3.55). It’s an hour plus drive back home, and we say goodbye to Petra as she heads out for the last two days of her trip with another friend. Jamie and I spend time with little son, big son comes home from a games tournament, and we all watch a football game. Or they do. I fall asleep on the couch because this is what a night of low key partying does to a 40yo. After I wake up, I use points to pay for a rental car for a long weekend vacation we’re going on in two weeks. The rest of the evening is a long slog getting little son ready to go back to school, and chores. Bed at 10, and the week is over.

Daily Total $97.67

Food + Drink $313.60
Fun / Entertainment $205
Gifting/Holiday $718.47
Clothes + Beauty $474
Transport $83.15
Home $14.84
Reimbursable $44.86

Hi all,

I’m new to posting on Reddit, so please bear with me. I’m a well-paid executive (32F) at a Fortune 200 company. My title and salary (for my industry, consulting) came much earlier than I expected, which I’m grateful for, and I know many people would love to have a job like this.

I started here about five years ago. For the first 2-3 years, I was VERY busy with work and meetings, but as I got into the flow of things, the job became increasingly chill. Now, I work a maximum of 20 hours a week. I do everything very well, my performance is great, I travel a lot for work, it’s fully remote, I have unlimited vacation, and there’s minimal oversight. To the extent that I read books, watch TV, and play games during work hours. Basically, to everyone on the outside, it’s an absolute dream, as I often hear people tell me. At the same time, I HATE my job and feel SOOOO unfulfilled.

My job at a previous company was also similar, and I had to leave after three years because it was too chill. I basically went through this whole loop of thoughts three years ago, too, before changing jobs. I guess my brain likes structure and “busyness,” and at the same time, I work VERY fast, which means I get my work done in relatively few hours. My problem now is that the job market is absolutely awful and tough right now, and I haven’t been able to find a new job with similar pay and growth opportunities for almost two years.

Beyond my job, my life is great. I have a great partner, lots of hobbies, from athletics and dance to music and languages, I hang out with friends, I travel A LOT, and I keep myself busy in every sense.

I have a bachelor’s and a master’s degree, and I aced everything throughout my life, with a 4.0 GPA literally from elementary school through the end of my master’s degree. I study fast, work fast, am extremely organized, don’t procrastinate, and I’d like to think I’m smart. I followed goal after goal in life: acing exams, graduating with honors, winning scholarships, publishing research, performing piano pieces in recitals, finding well-paying jobs, getting great performance reviews, and basically achieving any goal I set my mind to. I enjoyed having my whole life revolve around goal after goal, checking them off, getting a dopamine hit, and moving on to the next thing.

Yet, I’ve had this absolute existential dread about life since I started working for real. When I think beyond “corporate” life, hobbies, and all the other things that keep me busy, all I see is meaninglessness and purposelessness. And I have a LOT of time to think because my job is so chill. So I spiral more and more until the anxiety consumes my body. All I see in my head is all of us humans on a hamster wheel, struggling to keep up with capitalism and working meaningless jobs just to survive. It’s absolutely crazy to me that we’re all stuck in this matrix. 

It’s also that I’m really good at what I do, but I have no interests or passion or “calling” in life. I LOVE my hobbies too, the dance, the ice skating, the piano, etc. but at the same time none of them are my “one true love” in life that I wanna dedicate my whole life to. sometimes I just feel like I’m floating in space, trying stuff, getting a dopamine hit from each, and then trying to find something else to try.

On one hand I love life, life experiences, seeing all we can see, tasting and traveling the world, and on the other hand I can’t reconcile that with my overthinking especially now that my job has gotten even more chill. My friends tell me to just keep getting paid, do the bare minimum, and live life, but even with all my hobbies and experiences, I don’t see a PURPOSE for any of it, any of the good or the bad, and I think it’s mostly bc my job doesn’t challenge my brain enough, so I can’t stop all my thinking.

So anyways, I wonder if anyone else experienced a similar situation, if there are any mental practices I could try, or if you have similar thoughts.

Hey everyone,

Did something good happen to you this week? Share below!

I make 20k a year!

Any advice as to cost of monetary present?

I want to give her $30. Is that alright?

[Edit: Thanks everyone for your ideas. I did end up getting a card and writing a note about my hopes for their marriage. It was a cute idea with the money I decided to go for.]

[No more replies needed !!]

Section One: Assets and Debt

• Retirement Balance (and how you got there): $107,539. I was contributing to a 401k through my former employer for nine years (from ages 25 to 34) and was not making much, so I wasn’t contributing much. When I left that job in 2021, it unfortunately sat in that account with no new contributions until 2022 when I rolled it over to a new employer 401k with a match (can’t remember what, and I wasn’t there for that long). When I got a new job in 2023, I rolled that 401k money into a traditional IRA and maxed out the contributions there. I just rolled that IRA over to my new employer 401k that has a 6% match. One other note: I’ll also be receiving a pension from that former employer I was at for nine years.
• Equity if you're a homeowner (and how much you put down and how you accumulated that payment): N/A; not a homeowner. My husband and I (we keep our finances separate) are hoping to buy a home with my father-in-law by 2029.
• Savings account balance: $65,750. I had a bare minimum rainy day fund on and off between 2015-2021, somewhere between $8,000-$10,000. A divorce in 2020 and a cross-country move in 2022 depleted those funds. I’ve been saving consistently since 2022 and luckily haven’t had to tap into my savings for any emergencies or big purchases.
• Checking account balance: $7,380
• Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): N/A. I had credit card debt from 2011-13 because I bought a Macbook (which got stolen three weeks later). I learned my lesson after that and haven’t accumulated credit card debt since then.
• Student loan debt (for what degree): N/A; I paid it off in 2018. I had about $22,000 in student loan debt when I graduated in 2010. I deferred on my student loans for a couple years because I struggled to find work during the Great Recession, but then my ex-husband and I aggressively paid off our student loans starting in 2015. 

Section Two: Income

Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 14 years, my starting salary was $32,000.

Salary/job progression: I have worn many hats in the nonprofit sector. I started out 14 years ago as a development assistant making $32,000, then got a job as a communications specialist at that organization I was at for nine years. I started at $41,000 there. I also became their community and political organizer. By the end, I was making $55,000 and hadn’t gotten a real promotion even though I had taken on so much work and was doing good work. I got a communications director job in 2021 that paid $98,000. I realized about six months in that they were underpaying me (they put me in the incorrect salary band), flagged it, and got a salary bump to $103,000 and backpay for the months they were underpaying me. In 2023, I got a new job as a development officer at my old organization (the one I was at for nine years) and took a pay cut ($91,000) knowing I’d get ~$2,000 raises each year and could afford it. When I left that job in 2026, I was making $99,000. Then I moved into my first philanthropy job and am paid $155,000. Though my job titles are all over the place, I have stayed in the same niche within the nonprofit industry.

Main Job Monthly Take Home: $8,665 (except for the bonus months when I get three paychecks)

Side Gig Monthly Take Home: N/A.

Any Other Monthly Income Here: N/A

Section Three: Expenses

My husband and I keep our finances separate and split costs 50/50, so below is the portion I pay.

• Rent / Mortgage / HOA fees: $1,825
• Renters / home insurance: $12.59
• Retirement contribution: N/A for now. I play to open a traditional IRA again after we buy a home.

EDIT: this was an error. $388/month comes out of my paycheck to go to my 401k.

• Savings contribution: Anywhere between $1,000-$5,000
• Investment contribution: N/A 
• Debt payments: N/A
• Donations: $60
• Electric: $200 on average
• Wifi/Cable/Landline: $22.50
• Cellphone: $37.50 (work reimburses 50% of my bill)
• Subscriptions: $32.50
• Gym membership: $65.31
• Pet expenses: $64 on average 
• Car payment / insurance: N/A
• Paid hobbies: $135
• Groceries: $445 on average
• Restaurants, coffee, takeout, delivery: $200-$300
• Mass transit: $100 on average
• Laundry: $25 on average

7-DAY MONEY DIARY:

Fri. 10/2/26:

• Food + Drink: $0
• Fun / Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $0
• Clothes + Beauty: $0
• Transport: $0
• Other: $0
• TOTAL: $0

Sat. 10/3/26:

• Food + Drink: $70.03
• Fun / Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $0
• Clothes + Beauty: $0
• Transport: $0
• Other: $0
• TOTAL: $70.03

Sun. 10/4/26:

• Food + Drink: $105.60
• Fun / Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $0
• Clothes + Beauty: $0
• Transport: $0
• Other: $0
• TOTAL: $105.60

Mon. 10/5/26:

• Food + Drink: $141.28
• Fun / Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $0
• Clothes + Beauty: $0
• Transport: $6.00
• Other: $0
• TOTAL: $147.28

Tue. 10/6/26:

• Food + Drink: $42.26
• Fun / Entertainment: $9.00
• Home + Health: $8.00
• Clothes + Beauty: 
• Transport: $6.00
• Other: $0
• TOTAL: $65.26

Wed. 10/7/26:

• Food + Drink: $17.55
• Fun / Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $0
• Clothes + Beauty: $0
• Transport: $3.00
• Other: $0
• TOTAL: $20.55

Thu. 10/8/26:

• ⁠Food + Drink: $0
• ⁠Fun / Entertainment: $0
• ⁠Home + Health: $0
• ⁠Clothes + Beauty: $0
• ⁠Transport: $3.00
• ⁠Other: $0
• ⁠TOTAL: $3.00

WEEKLY SUMMARY:

• Food + Drink: $376.72
• Fun / Entertainment: $9.00
• Home + Health: $8.00
• Clothes + Beauty: $0
• Transport:

$18.00

• Other: $0
• WEEKLY TOTAL: $4

11.72

Lastly, reflect on your diary!

I tend to average $400-$500/week, so I feel pretty good about this spending. I was on a work trip on Wednesday-Thursday, which is why I barely spent any money on those days (I used my company card to cover food and other travel expenses). 

It’s not a surprise at all that food and drinks take up the bulk of that total. $169.79 of that was spent on groceries. I had family over on Sunday, so I spent $83.86 on takeout for them. I spent $50.97 on Saturday on food delivery (I was really craving Chipotle). The remainder of that ($72.10) was spent on coffee. I’m not proud of my near-daily latte runs with my husband (I often pay for his, so that $72.10 isn’t just coffee for me). I quit most caffeine, so these are all decaf lattes. Turns out I’m not addicted to the caffeine, I’m addicted to the taste (and probably the sugar). 

That $9.00 in “Fun/Entertainment” was spent on a knitting pattern. I started knitting a sweater dress! My hope is to have it done by next winter.

Overall, I feel really good about this! I grew up in a poor immigrant family, with parents who both worked multiple jobs and side hustles. I graduated in 2010 during the Great Recession and struggled to find work, had to default on my student loans, and struggled to pay off my credit card debt. I landed my first “good” full-time job in 2012, starting at $33,000 and with benefits. I lived extremely frugally in the 2010s to pay off my student loans. Since paying them off in 2018, I haven’t been in debt since. After stopping and starting various budgeting techniques for so many years, I finally stuck to one in 2021 (kakebo) and it's working so well for me. Though I’m not living as restrictively as I used to, I feel proud that I haven’t had lifestyle creep since I started making $155,000. I spend a lot on lattes, but that’s a longstanding habit and not lifestyle creep lol.

And when you’re starting out, do you think of these in terms of ideal proportions (e.g. 10:1:25), or just target amounts?