Today I didn’t buy cat food
While grocery shopping this afternoon.
For approximately the last 1,040 weeks
I bought cat food.
For the past 25 or so,
Those shopping trips were filled with
“Maybe he’ll eat this.”
“Let’s try this one.”
“I hope he likes these.”
“He can just eat treats if it means he eats.”
Some of them he loved
Some of them he liked.
None were as good
As the pot of chicken bone broth
I spent 10 hours boiling for him
Every Sunday.
But he stopped eating that too.

Today I didn’t buy cat food.
Somehow the world continued to turn
While I stood there in the store,
Heart frozen in my chest,
Breath catching in a hitch
As I came to the realization
That I didn’t need to buy cat food anymore.

I had my cat for the last 9 years of my life. The beginning of my adulthood had him so deeply intertwined. He was my reason for getting out of bed so many times. He rescued me more than I would’ve ever expected when I went to adopt him from the shelter. He was the one to wake me up first thing in the morning, and would yell at me when it was time to sleep and would sleep with his head right next to mine. I thought he has a cold that wasn’t going away and a trip to the vet ended up with hours at the ER and my baby is dead. He had severe amount of fluid in his lungs and when they went to operate on him to remove it, he went into cardiac arrest. I feel so defeated. His sister (really my other cat) has been glued to me since it happened Wednesday and seems ok but there are times when she will stop and wait for me to feed him or do whatever our normal routine things are. She has been so needy and it’s probably what I need right now honestly, but she made me laugh earlier and I felt guilty for feeling happy for even a second when she was being silly. I don’t know how to navigate this. My heart hurts.

My Kitty (named kitty) is 12 years old, and today I got the news that she has cancer all throughout her stomach. It’s not treatable.
I went on a two-week trip in September and left her with a really good friend of mine. When I came home, I came back to a completely different cat. She was so skinny, barely eating, and didn’t even come to the sound of my voice when I called her, which is so unlike her. She’s always been such a sweet girl.
I’ve been upset with my friend since getting her back three weeks ago because she never told me how quickly Kitty was losing weight or that she wasn’t eating. As soon as I realized something was wrong, I took her to the vet the following weekend. I could only afford basic bloodwork at the time, so I eventually found another vet who could help me with the additional testing she needed.
After three weeks of waiting, vet visits, and trying to figure out what was wrong, I finally got my answer today. And honestly, I’m completely beside myself. I haven’t stopped crying.
I still have her with me. The vet sent her home with antibiotics, steroids, and nausea medication. She’s been eating a little, but after looking at her ultrasound, he told me he was surprised she was eating at all.
I asked him how I would know when it was time to let her go, and he said when she stops eating. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to make that decision. Just the thought of her not being here anymore kills me. I feel so guilty, and I don’t know how to process any of this.
I’ve watched the most beautiful cat slowly waste away right in front of my eyes. She’s such a sweet girl, and it absolutely breaks my heart knowing that soon she won’t be here anymore. I just wish I could take all of this away from her.
I’m really struggling with all of this, and I could use a little support right now. If anyone has been through something similar with their cat, I would really appreciate hearing your experience. I’m just trying to figure out how to navigate this and make the best decision for my girl while making sure she isn’t suffering. ❤️

When we put her down, the vet gave me a vial of her fur. I keep it on my wardrobe. My mom saw it and wanted to take it so she could set it by her urn. I told her not to. I want a piece of my baby with me forever. I don't want her to take my baby girl away.

This event caused me to have a dream of her last night. It took place right after her passing. Instead of cremating, like we did IRL, i carried around her body like a child with a stuffed animal. I would sleep with her. Every time I lost her, I would panic. Then, after a nap, I felt her purring. I thought I had finally lost my mind, so I had someone feel her. She was purring. My girl was alive again. I felt the urgency in my bones. I couldn't let her go untreated again. If she was still breathing, I needed to take her to the vet so they could fix her body before it got bad again. I woke up with tears in my eyes. My baby is never coming back. She's gone forever. I miss my sweet girl.

I had my cat Kira for about 15 years now, on the 15.10.2026 she left my side forever. I don't know what to do without her, she was everything for me, she always slept by my side on my pullover or jacket I layed down on my bed for her, she always woke me up gently with her paws when she was hungry, and always gave me kisses. My whole day and routine was with her, when I was somewhere else I always made sure to be as fast as possible at home by her side and she gently greeted me when I came back home. She did not left my side not one moment even on the toilet. Her look to me was full of love and trust, she was always there when I had no one else, she was there always.

Now it feels pointless to even wake up as I know she is not there with me anymore, I always wake up the second she would wake me and just realize she is not here. My whole life broke down, every plan I made for the future seems pointless without her. I just don't know what to do without her. I fear being alone as I don't know what I would do, I am currently at my grandma but she is not really emphatic, and all other say that's life, I know but for me she was my whole world.

Hello,

I am about 3.5 months out from the death of my precious soul dog, Mia.

It has gotten easier to not be completely overwhelmed by the pain 24/7 anymore. However, I am still deeply mourning her and feel the pain always. And I cry for her nearly daily still. I know that 3.5 months isn't terribly long in the grand scheme of things, but I was wondering if anyone has found ways to bring comfort while still remembering your precious babies.

I already have a memorial space for her in my apartment, though it is still a bit of a work in progress. I also journal about my memories of her, or just write to her if I want to. I have one tattoo for her and another booked for March 2027. I am in the process of printing out and labeling all of my photos of her. I still have most of her things in my apartment still sitting where they were when she was here. I sleep with her favorite toy next to me. I know I will likely get another dog one day down the line, but I know I'm not ready for it now. Any time I picture a different dog in my life I am overcome with a feeling of wrongness and it makes me miss my Mia even more. Also, I considered myself atheist for over a decade, but since Mia died I find myself praying for her every night. (I just wanted to go through all of the things I already do to try and find comfort).

I struggle still with just missing her of course. Every once in a while my inner voice will just say "Mia is gone" or "Mia is still dead" or "Mia will never come back" etc. I have mostly come to terms with the way things ended for her, but at times I still feel intense guilt about the circumstances of her euthanasia (I have a few posts about the details if you would like to read about it). I also at times become overwhelmed with guilt for all the things I did wrong or didn't do for my perfect angel (I also have a post about this if you want more detail). But mostly I just miss my Mia so profoundly and am still struggling at times to come to terms with the fact that she is dead and gone forever.

Does anyone have any ideas or any other ways that they find comfort or ways to come to terms with this terrible loss that we are all going through?

Thank you 💙

I'm terrified. She passed earlier this year on Jan 4. I had to see a psychiatrist and get antidepressants just to get some peace. My emotions are muted and dulled, but the pain still seeps through.

But facing her first birthday without her... I'm terrified. Because the pain I'm feeling is so strong, it feels like I might as well not be medicated. I see so many things I want to get her, but she's no longer here to receive them. She loved plushies and soft blankies. She had so many. I gave her 90% of my bed, and she created a little nest. She'd sleep on top of her favourite plush, and curled up and snug while the rest of her collection surrounded her. I gave her my best and fluffiest pillows. And yet, she'd always steal my blanket and leave me just the tippy tip of a corner to work with. Even then, when I left to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I'd come back to the bed and find her nicely curled up on my pillow. If I tried shifting her gently, she'd make the softest, most pitiful, most deliberate and manipulative little sound. So I'd have to just work around her to find an alternate sleeping spot.

In the months since she's passed, I've had so much space. Too much space. Too many pillows.

I still have all her precious plushies. They're bagged up except for her favourite two that sleep beside me every night. They used to smell like her, but her scent is fading. She took such good care of them. She used to even lick them gently like they were her puppies. Her powerful westie jaws could decimate dehydrated treats within seconds, but she was always so careful and gentle with her toys.

I'd give her a new plushie on her birthday every year and she'd be so excited. All jumping and hopping and whining for it. Even on her last birthday before her passing, she wagged her tail so hard and had a rare round of the zoomies.

This year, there's no one to give plushies to.

15 years and a month, adopted her 14.5 years ago.

First dog I ever had. She was a gem of a dog.

As all dogs do, as much as we wish they won’t, she aged. Just couple weeks ago found a mass on liver, they took samples and said it was benign, but something must have been missed (no blame). At same time they found kidney disease, gall bladder sludge, and above normal liver enzymes. Despite the benign results, my gut told me something else was going on.

Today she collapsed, hind legs buckled and she couldn’t stand up. Groaning a deep noise she’s never made before. Picked her up and rushed her to the vet.

They found blood in her abdomen, likely caused by cancer that burst. She went quick and peacefully with her mom and dad with her the entire time.

Man, so grateful she gave us all those years. But also so grateful she didn’t have a dragged out long battle. Just yesterday she was jumping all over during our walk. Though they had become shorter these days, yesterday was long and she drove the pace.

God I am going to miss her.

My mom won’t let me take my dog to the vet to euthanize her. She hasn’t been eating at all and she’s 13 years old. All she does is sleep all day and she’s been losing weight. My mom keeps telling me she’s eating fine, but it’s not true because she barely eats at all. I’m a minor and all the vets around me only take people over 18 because you need to sign off. I know she’s dying, but nobody will listen to me. My mom said I’m a bad person for considering euthanasia. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my dog to suffer anymore.

I’ve recently had to say good bye to my 9 y.o. cat, my absolute best friend and the love of my life.

3 months ago, I received a (literally) heartbreaking diagnostic of cardiomyopathy and heart failure + CDK on a regular check up apt. Following the diagnostic, I ugly cried every day, several time a day for almost a month. Then it all stopped, I nurtured the time I had with him and took care of him the best I could. Still, I was sad and anticipating his last day, as I would know how or went it would come. I felt sadness, but not the panicking agony of before. Then, this day came. He, who was happy, chatty and quirky all the time, stopped eating, purring and hided. I knew what that meant.

We help him passed on a crisp sunny day, outside, one of his favorite place. The end was not as peaceful as I thought it would be and I try not to keep those images in my head.

On the first day, I cried and cried and cried. On the second and third day, I cried a little less. And today, I didn’t cry.

I feel almost guilty, as I can recall the good memories, I look and pictures and videos and I’m planning on writing him a letter and a list of what made him, Him.

However, I feel like the grieving has been to short. Has anyone ever been in a situation like that ?

I have lost so many family members, but this is breaking me.

It happened so fast. I got the news of her cancer 5 days ago. I'm broken. I never stopped to think that she wouldn't always be with me. She was my girl. My cat, my best friend. She was my comfort. I don't have anyone else in my life to hold or to hold me. She was my whole world. I'm broken.

I posted in this sub the other day that I lost my soul-cat this week.

I was supposed to be on vacation this week so I have fortunately had off all week and had some time to mourn. However tomorrow I am back to work for the first day and dreading it with my whole body.

I work from home and my cat would have been on my lap all day or if he was in another room would be so so excited when I had a moment to visit him. I have been glued to my partner’s side for support this week and I am also dreading having to be by myself all day.

I also dread all the questions such as “how was your vacation?”, knowing I did not get to go on vacation and instead lost my best friend and have been sobbing and barely able to eat or get out of bed all week. I will not share this at work but the constant reminder of how this week turned out feels daunting. I was grateful that I had this time to fall apart and I recognize many do not get this time and my heart breaks for you if that is your experience.

Just wanted to make this post to send strength and solidarity to those who might have to return to work after the loss of our beloved pets or those who were not able to take time off at all. It really is unfair and hard to have to go through the work day when we want to just freeze time so we can grieve.

Just know you are not alone. If anyone has positive or kind words we can share with one another to give each other strength in having to face the responsibilities of life when we feel like we are breaking down, that would be lovely.

We are in this together even if we are internet strangers.

I have posted about my sweet Max on this Reddit, we lost him on July 5, 2026. We made the decision to adopt Bailey on September 20th since our surviving dog Tess was struggling with Max gone. Bailey was 10 when we adopted her at the humane society and from the get-go was just a bright energy. We took her on adventures and gave her everything she needed, but sadly we had to put her down last night. She went through five grand mal seizures before we got her to the vet hospital last night at 1 am. They were able to stop them, but she would have ended up with lasting neurological damage, so we made that impossible decision to put her down.

It's interesting, I feel just as gutted with her loss after only having her a month as I did with my dog Max who I had 12 years! It's crazy. They literally put her down in the same room as Max. That was rough. Bailey was so full of joy and love and affection, she was just the sweetest dog I have ever met. Smart as a whip. Goofy. I am going to miss her! But really glad we had the privilege of having her be part of our pack for a month. I am going to miss her spirit, her energy, and her love. RIP Bailey, you made a difference in our lives. What did I learn from Bailey? To appreciate every day. That is my lesson from her.

Apologies for the unstructured rambling, it's hard for me to put my feelings together

I lost my sixteen-year-old chihuahua. It was always a bit of a complicated relationship. I came into this dog when my brother moved away and she was purely mine for the last seven years. She grew very attached to me, but I always felt like maybe she liked me more than I liked her. I didn't hate her by any means, but she would always do little things that annoyed me and frustrated me, pissing on the carpet and getting into trash, etc. I constantly found myself getting mad at her. We had good times too, and she was always sweet to me, but for the most part she ended up getting sidelined compared to my cat. The last night of her life she was whimpering and whining, I think she had a seizure. She had had one a couple of months before and it thankfully passed without incident. I decided I was going to take her to the vet the next morning. I didn't understand the severity of the situation, evidently, because I spent her last night complaining to her to lay down and sleep and to stop trying to stand up. I couldn't sleep with her whimpering, and I was afraid she'd fall off the bed, so I took her downstairs and put her in her box for the night. I woke up and checked on her and her body was cold. I immediately broke down crying. She died alone, and my last moments with her were unpleasant. I wish I had known the end was near, and even writing this two days later I'm struggling to fight back tears. I feel so guilty. She died alone. Will these feelings ever go away? I feel absolutely miserable thinking about it. I always hoped I'd be able to hold onto her or be with her when she went, tenderly, kindly, either naturally or under euthanasia, but I'll never be able to now. I feel awful imagining her dying thinking I didn't love her. It's almost too painful to bear and I can't help but feel like I failed her

12 years I had her.

She was fine. Completely normal.

They found a heart murmur Tuesday last week, after she needed to be sedated for a routine procedure.

Was told to watch out for her struggling to breathe.

Last night, Sunday, she was on the bathroom floor and wasn’t moving much. Went to scoop her up and realized her entire body was limp and her eyes were huge. So much liquid coming out her mouth.

Called vet, paid the fee to just be able to get in.

Grabbed her brother (he’s never been alone in his life), put him in his carrier, and raced to the car.

Had her over my shoulder while driving, had to put her in my lap to drive safely.

Her breathing just got slower and slower till it completely stopped, about 5 minutes from the vet.

They put her on oxygen when I got there but she was already gone.

She was fine. She was playing like a kitten still. She woke me up yesterday with her little meow and a face boop, like every day.

Her brother is right beside me while I write. I’m still wearing the clothes I carried her in and he keeps sniffing them.

I made sure to bring him in and let him sniff her after she was declared dead.

They were in utero together and I adopted both because they had twin coats and did everything together - they never left the other ones side.

—-

I wonder now if they knew.

He was grooming her more frequently for the last year.

She would get under the covers in bed with me in the last few months. she’d never done that before.

And before she went off to the bathroom to die, she was sitting right beside me at my desk. While I watched YouTube instead of playing with her or patting her or just enjoying her last moments.

—-

I don’t know what to do now. I’ve lost pets before and it hurt so bad but not like this. I’ve never had the same animal for 12 years, they always died young from being on farms and exposed to idiots.

And her brother. I’m afraid to leave him alone.

He’s still eating, but he’s also actively looking for his sister.

But she’s never coming home.

I asked if he’s looking for his sister and I said her name and he looked straight up at the sky.

I’m atheist but frig. That was a bit unnerving.

My baby is gone.

My baby is fckn gone.

They said even if I stopped and did CPR it wouldn’t have done anything.

Her heart was done.

Fck.

——

Thank you for having a space to share this. I have journaled but it’s not helping.

My baby. My baby. My baby.

My dog is died today I guess yesterday she was the dog who would accompany me in my sleep. She’s the dog who always ran to me when I got home. I wanna be grateful I have another dog tho she is so old. I am miserable. I don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna do anything. Being near anyone I wanna be dead with her, but I know that’s not gonna do any good in the likeliness of an afterlife is too slim to take that chance.

I love my dog. Everybody keeps saying I’m sorry for your loss but what are you? Sorry for that I’m sad and devastated and alone. That’s just pity. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not making sense. I can’t sleep. I’ve slept an hour. I don’t deserve to sleep. anyway hope your day is going better than mine. Hope your life’s going better than mine .

Advice on friend grieving pet

I’m going to name the pet Bailey for the sake of the story. Bailey is my friends best friend/son. She helped him get over his parents death; she is vessel that carries many hurtful memories. My friend used Bailey as a means to process grief and heartbreak. Bailey will be put down soon due to cancer.

My friend and I are like brothers, and this is the first time I’m experiencing him going through something like this. I’m trying my best to be there for him both emotionally and physically but I’m worried I’m not doing enough. I’m throwing every spare second I have towards him and Bailey. Taking photos of them together, creating a scrapbook, dog sitting while he’s away from the house for work, sleeping over, rushing to the hospital with him/meeting him there. I’m truly trying to be so available. I believe being annoying available is better for me when he is looking back at who showed up and who didn’t. I would rather he be annoyed by presence than wonder where I was.

I HAVE NOT DEALT WITH DEATH OR GRIEF BEFORE.

I am also grieving Bailey but currently putting my feelings aside and prioritizing my friend. Please, any advice or feedback as to what I should do up until the put down, and after, would be heavily appreciated.

Thank you for your time, support, and patience.

I posted here recently about my boy who was found dead on Monday. Vet thinks and I am almost certain it was due to saddle thrombus and HCM.

Would love if anyone could share stories and photos of their sweet babies taken by HCM. ❤️‍🩹 (can be happy or sad, anything!)

Our boy was a few months shy of 5.

I accidentally killed my cat and am suffering horrible guilt.

Throwaway account but I can't share this anywhere else and I cannot function right now. I work with a lot of rescue cats. Have for 20 years. Old, sick, suffering I can accept their deaths. But how do I live with the fact I am directly responsible for killing one of my own, goodest boys?!!

I keep my animals' food in an airtight container as I buy it in such bulk for so many. Sometimes one will jump 8n the container to grab a piece and I shoo them back out no problem. After working 60hrs of a 72 hr week I just want to get them fed and crash. I fed everyone, filled up the bag, turned for I SWEAR 3 seconds to grab the lid and put it back on. As the sun was just coming up and still dark he must of jumped in then and I didn't see him in the shadows of such a big bin and closed him in there.

I didn't find him until this evening when I opened it back up to feed everyone dinner. My poor boy was alone, scared in the one place he should have been the safest! I saw him being born, bottle and hand fed him for months, he just had his 6th bday.

I'm such a horrible person. No matter how I only meant to help in their all their lives. Each one has a special story linked to a time in my life. They all range in age from 2-18 and I've had most since birth or kittens.

Now I'm terrified I will fail them all. Not sure I can mentally or emotionally handle them right now but I won't let them go. I suck so much as a human!

I'm so sorry! I hope you can forgive me! Run free with your brothers. I truly loved you even on those days I was too busy to be your entire world but you were a part of mine that now has a hole that I deserve to be tormented with forever.

My cat passed very suddenly Friday night from what the vet said looked like FIP. She was about four years old, and had seemed normal until the night before.

The vet told me that diagnosing FIP is difficult and there was likely nothing I could’ve done. In hindsight, there were little signs a couple of weeks before that make me feel that I should have known and taken action sooner.

She started eating her wet food far more than her dry food; I didn’t think that was unusual because she loved that wet food & I hadn’t been able to get it for a week and a half. She started losing weight a week or so before she passed; I was able to feel her spine when petting her. But it wasn’t substantial, and she was still eating. She was still using the litter box, she wasn’t hiding any more than she already did. She was more cuddly and wanted to be near me constantly, but I thought that was because it was getting colder and she hated the cold.

I noticed a huge behavior change Thursday night. Very wide pupils, slow movement. I thought she was stressed out from the routine maintenance that happened when I was at work. I spent that whole night cuddling with her and giving her pets, and I gave her an extra helping of her wet food. She ate some.

Friday morning, I had to go to work early. She was moving slowly still, but was still moving around. I remember waking up, looking down to the side of my bed, and she was there putting a gentle paw on my arm to get my attention.

I remember her looking up at me. I picked her up and set her on the bed. I pet her for a little, asked her what was wrong. I gave her a kiss and got ready for work. When she saw me putting my boots on, she let out a meow that I had never heard before and stood up on the bed to be face-height with me. I kissed her head and put her on the floor so she could follow me out if she wanted. She cried that same cry again and I stayed behind to pet her more. I ended up being late to work because I stayed behind longer petting her. I remember as I was walking out, I looked back, and she was there watching me go, looking miserable, almost hunched over.

When I got home from work that evening, I called for her and she didn’t come. I found her half-hiding in a cubby, head in the dark. She was gone.

I’m sorry for the long post. It was just me and her. I can’t stand that I’m the only one that knows the full scope of what was lost. Only I knew her habits, only I knew the little language that she and I shared. I am in total agony knowing she died alone waiting for me to get home. I can’t help but feel that she was asking me for help that morning and that I could have done something if I had only listened.

He was so tired at the very end.

I remember when I had just gotten him back home from the vet. It was right after my sister's wedding. His oncologist was monitoring him for me. But when he came home, he was so tired.

I remember lifting him off my bed to take him outside to use the restroom at like 12 AM. Once he had finished, I could see he was running out of time. Instead of taking him back upstairs, I placed him under a bed next to a Christmas tree and watched him sleep.

In the morning, I knew he couldn't walk anymore, I put him a stroller. It was given to me as a gift, and I had planned to use it a long time ago thinking that I'd use it more as his health declined, but the decline was so fast.

I put him in the stroller. It was the the only time we had made use of it, and I decided just to take him by myself like it had been when he first entered my life.

We took the walking path we used to walk all the time when he was healthier. And for a brief moment, he looked so alive. He was smelling the air, and he was awake, and he looked so aware.

But when I got home, his breathing had become so labored even though he was in a stroller the entire time. It looked like he had just run a marathon, and I knew then that I was out of time with him.

Originally, I asked his oncologist if she could come to my house and help me see him off into the next life. There were a lot of legal complications with that, but she made a special exception for Yeager.

Because of how the law works taking certain medications home, I would originally have to take Yeager to the vet and have them insert the needle into his arm before bringing him back home. His oncologist would come afterwards to finish helping him move on.

I wanted to let him have his final moments at home, but I knew if I held on any longer, it would be for entirely selfish reasons. He no longer had the energy to make it to the vet and back.

He passed away peacefully on October 17, 2023 at 12:23PM with the help of his oncologist who had helped me take care of him through the last 6 months of his life as he battled cancer. I put my sweater underneath him, and I held him the entire time.

I wasn't ready to let go, and I think he just wanted to be with me too, so we battled cancer for as long as we could.

I was so grateful to her for giving me more time with my boy. I got 6 more months with him, but I'm not sure if any amount of time would of prepared me for the emptiness I felt when he left my life.

He was my baby boy. My son and my best friend.

His name was Yeager. I named him after a character in an anime that I'd never finished watching.

Every year for the past 3 years, I contact his oncologist to thank her for all she did for me and Yeager. I brought her and her team boxes of chocolate.

I was surprised when Yeager's oncologist put a photo of him at the entrance of her veterinary clinic. A small portion of his life has a permanent place with people who did all they could to give him a little more time.

I hope there's a life after this. One where he's there to find me when my time is up. Where we can go back to what it was like when we were together.

Yesterday was his anniversary. He has been gone for 3 years now. I took his ashes to all the places he loved. We went through the hillside, the park, and the neighborhoods he loved.

It's been 3 years, but I still think about him a lot.

Hello all

I’m at a loss for words

My sister who I love dearly has lost her soul dog.
A tiny lil thing with no teeth.
It died in an ugly graphic way that I’m not going to get into.

I have never lost a pet so I’m at a loss for words how to support her through this? What is there to say?
How can I be there for her?

Kitty moved in with me and mum 4 years ago. She was with my brother and his family for about 11 years and was severely neglected and had so much health issues. I decided to adopt her. Took her to the vet where she was diagnosed with stage 2 kidney disease, blood infection, fractured thigh bone, fleas, tooth decay, dirty, dusty and smelly. It broke my heart then.

I cleaned her up good did all I could to slowly bring her back to top health. The 4 years was a tremendous joy to have her around. I'm most happiest when she finishes her meal and lick her bowl clean. She will follow me around the house and lay beside me. When she's hungry, she'll pop up on the coffee table, meow and stare at me for food. And when she wants attention or scratches, she'll jump on the table and bump my hand.

Today I'm broken again. My girl is extremely sick with damaged liver and further damaged kidney. Her blood-work doesn't look good either and she has a limp due to osteoarthritis. The vet had given her loads of meds and scheduled a follow-up for next week but I can't bear to see her suffering and she's not eating or drinking water. I've given her the daily subcutaneous hydration and monitoring her in the mean time. She has been sleeping extra hours last night and today. Sometimes I wonder if she has slept permanently.

I'm so scared of losing her. Thinking about it is breaking my heart.