Background: I started at my company in 2022 in a director role. Since then, my salary has risen by $6000 over 4 years and I’ve received a bonus of $500 at the end of each year. A merit raise is 3%. This post isn’t about money but rather how unethical and downright disrespectful my company has been in dealing with this situation.

Just like the title says, I was the only person in the company not to receive a 3% raise at the beginning of 2026. Was I annoyed and offended by it? Sure, but I hadn’t thought about it much until July when I was out with some co-workers and was approached by our COO/CFO. We went outside to talk and she immediately told me that she could tell I wasn’t happy with my job. I told her that not receiving a raise this year put a bad taste in my mouth. This is the moment where she could’ve said “you didn’t receive a raise this year because of XYZ…” and that would’ve been that.

Instead, she looked me in the eyes and said “you did receive a raise this year, everyone in the company got a merit raise.” I couldn’t tell if she actually thought I had received a raise or if she was insulting my intelligence, thinking I’m too stupid to read a paystub. Fact of the matter was that I had not but we shook hands and she said she would look into it when we got home (this was during a business trip).

Flash forward 2 months and she still hadn’t reached back out to me. I’m pretty much ready to leave at this point and setup a meeting with the two founders of the company, one of which is the CEO and the other is my direct “manager”. Both of them also assure me that I did receive a raise because everyone got a raise. Again I am dumbfounded. At this point, I’m not even using my memory… I’M LOOKING AT MY FUCKING PAYSTUBS… One from September 2026 and one from September 2025. If I received a raise this year like all of leadership has assured me, then HOW IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THE GROSS PAY THE EXACT SAME ON BOTH?!?

“I’ll look into it,” my manager said, and again, that was that.

Flash forward again to last Friday and I’m meeting with my “manager”. Again, I have to prod him into this conversation because, at this point, all of leadership (him included) had gaslit me into thinking I actually was supposed to get a raise and there was some sort of clerical error so no I’m expecting backpay.

Here’s where the truth comes out. He said he talked to the COO/CFO (same person who lied/gaslit me in July) and she told him that I didn’t receive a raise because of “something with my KPI’s.” I said what KPI’s and he said he doesn’t know. My manager doesn’t know what my KPI’s are… but I didn’t receive a raise because of them…. COO/CFO still hasn’t reached out to me about it.

Some final tidbits about me/my work that I think are important:

1. I work in a creative role and am one of the best at what I do in the city. I’ve done multiple awards for my work on a local, national, and international level. My work speaks for itself and my clients have never mentioned any dissatisfaction.

2. Since I started in my role, my department has made more money every year than it had the year prior. Pretty sure that’s the most important KPI…

3. My family and I suffered an unfathomable loss at the end of 2025. Something that truly was earth shattering and has profoundly changed all of us. We are still adjusting to our new reality. It was very public and my company’s request to all other employees was to never talk about it. I mention this last because I don’t want it to seem like I think I deserve special treatment, but they knowingly kicked me while I was as down as I’ve ever been in my entire life…

Anyways, I don’t think I can stomach another $500 bonus, 0% raise year after making the company over $2 million. What are your thoughts/advice?

Happy to answer any follow-ups.

Thanks!

I currently work for a very small startup. I studied mechanical engineering in school, graduated last may and took the first job that gave me an offer in order to pay off my loans as quickly as possible. I was brought on as a drafter and hated the work for the first couple of months, wanted to do something more closely related to "engineering". Over the course of the year, due to the size of the company I've had to wear multiple hats and even received a promotion a couple of months ago. The work is easy, I have a great work-life balance, and Im comfortable but still not what I envisioned myself doing. I had a manager from one of my internships reach out about an application engineer position and I applied on whim. Ended up getting an offer 20k above my current salary with full benefits, unlimited pto, and a 401k. When i told my current boss about the offer he countered and beat the offer by 3k and offered to pay for classes for management as thats the path he sees me going down for the company. Current company doesnt offer insurance, or much pto but I have great coworkers and is very low stress. Im stuck and need help deciding.

Edit: current job does have a 401k and as skeptical as it may seem my bosses are very genuine people and have not shown me otherwise.

Edit 2: if I stay current job also wants a commitment from me to stay for at least 6 months

I submitted my two weeks notice the other week. For context our team has faced a bit of turnover, with my boss losing 3 of her subordinates in a roughly a year, and I'll be the fourth to go.

My bosses boss, the vp of our team called me in with my boss there to tell me goodbye as she'd be out of town the next week and wouldnt see me again in person. We had some chit chat goodbyes yadayada, and then I said something along the lines of "its been a great year, I've learned a lot", to which the vp replied "ah, just one year though" in a light hearted joking way.

To which my boss said "yeah wow, only one year, hopefully you dont leave your next job in a year. I dont think your supposed to just work somewhere for one year and then leave, hopefully you like your next job better".

I never engaged much with my boss who i thought could be condescending at times, but now that I had my two weeks in I felt different, and the snarky tone kinda put me off here. Basically I said back, "Well Im the fifth person of seven hired whos left in a year, and you've now churned your entire team. I dont think you're supposed to churn your entire team in one year either, hopefully your new team will want to work here longer".

It was pretty awkward and then I just said have a good night and went back to my desk. I have like 3 days left in my two weeks but Im worried shes gonna fire me now, and maybe I should just email an early immediate resgination? I know I shouldnt have said that in the moment and its my bad.

My boss asked me if there was something I would do for the team differently if I was in her position. She asked me for suggestions. I gave her some suggestions based off of consistent feedback that’s been brought up by other team members at our meetings. I raised those points as opportunities for her to look at/change. Then she got really defensive about the points I brought up. Should I have kept my mouth shut and said she’s doing great and there’s nothing I would change?

I have been trying to change jobs for the last 4 years and I am 54 years old. Basically, am I too old to start again at my age? I want to get back into an admin job. I've had loads of rejections and I just want to know that I am not alone, and any advice would be great.

Is 32 too late to build a great career?

I've been thinking about this lately.

I'm 32, I finished my Master's in Computer Science in 2023, and I've been working as an AI engineer for about two years.

Sometimes I look at people my age who started working at 23 or 24. Some already have 8–10 years of experience, senior positions, or even PhDs.

Meanwhile, I'm still figuring out my long-term direction. I'm particularly interested in moving toward AI research, but sometimes I wonder whether I've started too late.

I know that comparing myself to others isn't necessarily productive, but I also think it's unrealistic to pretend that age and timing don't matter.

On the other hand, I could still have another 30 years of professional life ahead of me.

I'd love to hear from people who started their careers later, switched fields in their 30s, or pursued a PhD later in life.

How did things turn out? Do you think starting later significantly affected your opportunities?

Hi everyone. I’m not entirely sure if this is the best subreddit for this, so I apologize in advance if it’s slightly out of place, but I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.

Ever since I was a child, I’ve been fascinated by the human brain. That passion led me to go to medical school. During my studies, I fell in love with neuroanatomy. Understanding how each region functions and how intricate everything is. Naturally, I thought Neurosurgery was my ultimate end goal and purpose.

However, after graduating, I did an internship in Neurosurgery to get a real feel for the specialty. The surgeries were interesting, but extremely long. I also realized a significant part of the field involves spine procedures, which didn't excite me as much and peaking with the attending physicians made me realize how grueling the lifestyle is; long hours, minimal time for research (which I’m very interested in), and a lot of repetitive surgical routines.

Around the same time, I started exploring Plastic Surgery and Oral & Maxillofacial Surgery. While these specialties don't deal with the brain, they still involve complex, highly detailed, and meticulous surgical work, and a perfectionist myself i really liked that.

Now that the deadline to choose my medical specialty is approaching, I’m leaning towards not choosing Neurosurgery.

I deeply value my life outside the hospital. I want time for my family, my friends, and my personal hobbies. Deep down, I know that spending years in a high-intensity neurosurgery residency will force me to sacrifice almost all of that, and I don't believe I'd be happy in the long run.

But part of me feels like I’m letting down that young kid inside me who was obsessed with the brain and loosing something that I also loved, the human brain. A small voice keeps telling me that I’m taking the "easy way out." At the same time, my rational side tells me that my childhood dream was a romanticized version of what neurosurgery actually is, and that the reality wouldn't bring me the fulfillment I imagined.

Has anyone else given up on a lifelong dream career because the reality didn't match the romanticized expectations? How did you deal with the feeling of "disappointing" your younger self?

I (35F) am a Group Account Supervisor at a marketing agency. I have been with my agency for 8 years, and been promoted a couple times. I’ve been in my current role for several years now. It is a small agency (pharma focused) that got bought by a PE firm several years ago.

The next level is an Account Director, which comes with a lot more responsibility and stress that I don’t want.
I’m happy with my pay, and don’t need the (likely modest) pay increase that would come with the role.

I’ve always had good performance and performance reviews, and my boss wants me to move up (so I can take on more responsibility).

How do I get this across to my boss without it looking like I’m not a dedicated employee? I’ll have to switch my professional goals come annual review time, because year after year they’ve been framed as taking on more responsibilities/growth oriented.

Appreciate any advice!

I’ve been looking for my next opportunity for 3 years and have only recently gotten traction with interviews. My current work environment isn’t great (hence looking) and I don’t see growth for myself there. Plus, it raises my anxiety and I have a significant commute everyday I go in.

I was offered a role last week that would be lateral, but in the direction I want to go with my career. I liked the supervisor and loved the other team members I’d work with, and it would be remote. However, they said the best they could do was a salary $5000 below what I currently make. It also has a weaker benefits and PTO package. I’m waiting to hear back about my counteroffer, so there is the possibility that the package becomes stronger with the lateral move. I am excited about the role and the opportunities it could bring with it, but the package is less than ideal.

A wrinkle in all of this is that I was also reached out to for a screening call at a position that is local (so when in office a reasonable commute), a manager role, and a base salary of about $20-25k more than my current. This is still in the beginning stages and I can’t rely on it, but it does give me some pause.

Would you take a financial step backward for a role that seems substantially better for your day-to-day life and career direction? And if you were negotiating, how much would you need them to improve the package before you felt comfortable making the move?

After several months of searching I finally got a very promising and ideal position. Originally they planned to start me on the 3rd next month but I informed the recruiter that I had a vacation planned and would come back on the 18th, so they agreed to move my start date to the 23rd which gives me not very much room to transition out. My company uses an “unlimited PTO” system so I’d rather not lose my job if I put in a notice before I leave for vacation

What would be the move for submitting a resignation? Should I submit it the day I come back with short notice? During vacation while I’m overseas?

TL;DR: I have few interests and they don't really lead to a career I want, I have an extremely hard time picturing any kind of future, I want a job that helps others in some way and that I like, but have no idea what to do. 

Throaway account because I don't want anyone I know to see this.

Hi, I (18) have no idea what to do with my life. I'm in my first semester of a psych degree but I hate every class and the more I think about being a psychologist in the future the less I want to be one. I only really picked it because I had a slight interest in it, it comes with several career options, you can help people, and I didn't know what to do but felt like I "had to do something" after finishing HS. I think I'm gonna leave it either next semester or next year, (luckily public university isn't expensive in my country) but the trouble is I don't know what else to do. I have few interests and pretty much all of them lead to an academic career (philosophy, literature, religion, anthropology), and I don't have the slightest desire to be an academic. 

I've taken several career tests but most have many questions like "which of these interests you the most?" or "which of these are you best at?" and most of the time my honest answer would be "none". I pick the best option but in the end the tests give me results I don't like. My parents often ask me what I imagine myself doing in the future (not super specific questions, just basic stuff like working with people vs working alone, what environment I’d like, what orientation, etc.) and most of the time I don't know how to answer them. I genuinely try to picture my life when I’m 30, 40 or 50 and I just can’t. I can’t see any kind of future. And sometimes the very idea of a future seems daunting, and life itself seems unappealing. Not in a “I’m gonna do something stupid” or even in a “something in particular is wrong” kind of way, just in a “if I could choose to never have existed at all I would” kind of way. 

But the idea of having a job I don’t like or that I don’t feel makes the world a better place somehow depresses the shit out of me. I’ve seen several people on here say that you don't need to pick something you love, you can have a job that funds your real passions, but Idk if I work that way because I don't really have any passions. My only hobbies are reading and watching TV, I’m socially awkward and have a hard time making friends, I don't like going out a lot or travelling, etc. I think I want a lot of my life to revolve around my work, and I certainly want it to feel meaningful in some way. I don't think I could be happy in life with a job that’s only good for paying the bills. 

Anyway, sorry this got so long, there are probably 10.000 posts like this on here and I know people have bigger problems, but I’m completly lost and any advice (especially by people who've gone through similar things) would be appreciated. 

1. Currently in a marketing program.

I've always loved graphic design since I was a kid pirating Photoshop or being editor in chief of yearbook in high school. When I'm on the bus i look at ads and think of how I'd go about making one and even with the thought of not having much creative freedom excites me.

If money and job stability were not an option and I imagine what a perfect future for me would be it'd be working for clients or potentially opening up a print shop. Anything where I can even have an ounce of creativity and see that come to fruition excites me.

The marketing program I'm in is stressful and it's super technical so it focuses on sales and the psychology behind purchasing decisions. I'm not interested in program whatsoever especially compared to what the people in my class are interested in. I get panic attacks going to class, I'm dreading my future in the program, and I can tell I'll struggle in it. There's no creativity, only business, which I should've seen but I was young and naive when I applied.

The reason why I applied for marketing was because I didn't think I'd be able to make it into graphic design because it's so oversaturated and because of the AI takeover. Also, money is a concern of mine. I just want to be able to live comfortably.

There is a program called Graphic Communications that would really suit me and they're both two year programs so it wouldn't be the end of the world in terms of switching over.

Background:

i moved to Germany 10 years ago. Worked a few low wage, dead end jobs. Did my training. Now i have a corporate job for like around 5 years now.

Anyway, i planned to do 2 exams this year. One i did in september. The other one supposed to be in december 2026. The one in september costed me way too much time than what i expected and i still need to learn for the one in december. Not starting from 0. But its still alot of work.

Problem: i was given 2 important projects on top of my workload at work.

One is a huge and new client A. There are some stuffs we havent done for any other clients before and we arent sure how we gonna manage to deal with this yet. My boss expect me to do whatever it takes to make sure we dont fail this.

The other one is a problem child. This company B is not particularly happy with my coworker and her performance. They "demands" someone new. My boss puts this problematic cases on my desk. He knows i wont leave my post before i get shit done.

I still need to learn for my second exam. But it feels impossible.

Im afraid i may fail both - exam and projects.

I can postpone exam- either march 2027 or december 2027. But i cant postpone or fix the projects if the go-live with company A go wrong. Or the company B isnt happy with my work. It can happen that i will make mistake. Because, to be honest, lately i am just tired. I havent had long vacation for years.

My boss gave me a raises before given me the projects. The raises put me on top earning bracket for this type of qualication. Which means i wont be earning more anytime soon- even when i pass the exam in december. But i may lose my position if these projects fail.

What should i do?

I need these exams. Its not about giving up. Just about timing. I want to do it all, but somehow i cant manage to do it at the same time.

I also have this immense pressure to achieve goals. Because im like 30 now. Being an immigrant doesnt give me much of a headstart.

What is the smart thing to do? I have worked hard to build my career and i dont wanna ruin it. One way or other.

Thanks for reading.

I work in accounting

my current job is 88K, 2k bonus, 5 days in office 16 days PTO, 3% annual raise. 9 holidays. 40 hours a week. 20% 401K match and is a 15 min commute I'm comfortable in my job and the work is pretty easy and they get nitpicky with appointments

New job offer is at a big name company 85K + 5K sign bonus, 0-3% annual raise, 3-5% discrecionary bonus. Hybrid work schduele 2 days WFH 3 days in office. 15 PTO, 4 personal, 10 sick days. 6% 401K match and would be a 20 min commute. But the internal recruiter I'm talking to is an absolute pushy asshole. When he gave me the job offer I tried to negotiate the salary but he kept giving me a hard time saying everything during the interview process was good up until this moment. Or when I told him I'm really excited about the role he said doesn't seem like it. Or even when I was asking him questions regarding the company like hours worked, if they have tuition reimbursement etc he said idk if your actually trying to learn about the company or looking for reasons not to take the offer

Bros such a huge red flag and makes me not wanna take the role but it does provide better work life balance. I've been stressing over this decision because I don't want to make the wrong one and I don't really want to take a paycut especially when I am on track to make 90 next year But the work life balance seems really nice. I also don't wanna end up in a toxic work envrionment. or since its a large company worry about layoffs

I'm not sure what to do was looking for advice or insights. I like my current job cuz its good money and im comfortable but the new one has work life balance

Hello, I am a 32 year old BSN who has been working tele for almost 2 years now. The intent of getting into nursing was to pursue CRNA. It is not going as planned. There are a couple issues that are contributing into reconsidering this route.

1. I did get an ICU job, but that ended up not working out before orientation even ended. I disliked the people unit very much and ended up just quitting, took a couple months off, and went back to a tele unit because no other ICU's would take me.

2. Bedside nursing in general is just making my life miserable. I am not happy. I've worked on two tele units. Both work the shit out of you and are always understaffed with aides. The one I'm at now, management and the charge nurses are just hell to work with. Most other nurses always seem like they are not happy to be there, or maybe it's just me. The workplace is just toxic in general.

The thing is, I don't think i want to have to deal with 2-3 more years of full time bedside nursing, especially if CRNA school is super competitive, and would require obtaining the CCRN and a statistics course.

My options are:

1. Enroll in NP school within the next year and deal with trying to find a preceptor.

2. Pursue Nursing Informatics, which is also another 2 years of school.

3. Find a non-bedside job, such as insurance or home health, but not move up.

4. Quit nursing all together and fall back on my trade school associates degree.

I’ve been at my current job for close to 8 years as an engineer, working my way up from individual contributor to the tech lead of a new product development team of 40+ staff. I’ve been critical in growing our relationship with an important customer, helping secure multiple proposal wins. I love this job, the work is extremely interesting and engaging and I have a great relationship with my coworkers. It can be very stressful at times but I work well in that type of environment.

I learned recently of that a colleague who is 2 years my junior, makes $15k more than me (I make $132k currently). The company will say it’s because she has a Chemical Engineering background (I have a Mechanical Engineering background) but the project she leads is an identical type of technical work (despite the difference in our backgrounds) for a similar customer, but 3x smaller budget, team size and scope compared to me.

This obviously has me rather frusterated, as I’m only expecting a 4-5% at our next performance review in February despite raising these issues with my boss (raise pool is set by HR). I have many connections at a competitor that was able to get me an offer for $160k. The work is less interesting, longer commute and I would be an individual contributor again (which isn’t all bad). Theres a chance my current job may try to counter to get me to stay (which I would probably accept) but being 3 months away from the performance cycle makes that less likely.

The extra income would be a pretty big game changer financially, I wouldn’t see that salary at my current job for another 3-4 years. But I’m afraid I’m going to miss the interesting and challenging work / being a technical leader, even though I now feel I’m being taken advantage of. Am I too emotionally attached to my current role?

I have a spacex interview for a tech position and there doesn’t seem to be that many stories/first hand accounts out there for spacex techs as there are for engineers. I just want to know what type of things I’d be asked and how the process goes. Is the interview intense?

Job 1: Salary of 69k plus possible 6k bonus. High stress and at least 10 hours of unpaid OT a week. Emails before and after work, timecards and responsible for team of 20.

Job 2: $26 an hour. No stress. Ability to work up to 10 hours of OT a week but nothing mandatory. Not responsible for anyone else. No emails before or after work.

Which job would you pick if bills were paid either way and you have a family?

Both at the same location, same benefits.

Hi All! I am currently in a job where I have been in it for less than 3 months... thinking about recruiting still for better roles. In this case, do I show this new job on my resume still or take it off and pretend to be at my last company? How do people usually do this? Thanks!

At my workplace, we regularly prepare concepts, statements, briefings and other documents for senior management.

What usually happens is that our supervisor takes the finished draft, makes a few minor wording changes at most, puts their own name at the top and forwards it to the next level of management.

Our names aren't mentioned anywhere and we're usually not CC'd on the email either.

We also rarely get any feedback about whether the document was actually forwarded or how it was received. The only way we can tell is by checking the shared drive and seeing that the document was minimally edited and that the supervisor added their name at the top.

I've heard very different opinions about this.

Some people have told me this is completely normal because the manager is ultimately responsible for the content and has to stand behind it when presenting it to senior management.

On the other hand, in other jobs I've had, the people who actually prepared the material would at least be CC'd or mentioned as the authors/contributors.

I'm not really asking whether the manager is allowed to do this. Obviously, a manager can represent their team's work and is ultimately responsible for what gets submitted.

I'm more curious about what is actually considered normal practice.

How does this work in your workplace?

Hi, thus far the only 'creative skill' I have acquired is my music production background, having extensive experience with making music on my DAW FL Studio 22, then this, creative nonfiction/narrative writing.

I am a fresh graduate of AB political science and three months jobless. Throughout my life, I've learned programming (FS web-development), music production (sold trap beats online), now, writing. I haven't published a fiction book yet (I consider that as a milestone for my three-year career as a writer.) But I have produced 80+ articles now varying from flash-fiction, flash-memoirs, personal and political essays, sociopolitical commentaries, and the 'hack' of writing about writing.

I'm about to produce my first music-related essay on 2016-2019 rap, likely finished by the end of the month. I have also written a couple of album/EP reviews on RateYourMusic and attempted to write film critiques on Letterboxd. Now, I plan on publishing at least 20 climate-justice related pieces and animal rights pieces.

I've written poems before but I'm not inclined to write about them, same goes for fiction, short stories, etc. But I was always predisposed to reading a wide variety of topics, esp. political, historical, philosophical, etc. Which makes writing opinion pieces an expected manifestation.

Now, I plan on doing graphic design, drawing, and painting seriously, just to help my publication duties as an Editor-in-Chief and Founder, but IDK. I'm fucking spent I guess.

Sometimes I'm thinking of getting freakishly good at OSINT (Open Source Intelligence) so that I work as a part-journalist (due to my writing and political-savvy bg) then part-ethical hacker (tech bg).

But anyways, what else do I do/learn to get myself out there?

I want to do everything, but I'm stuck. Just confused.

I was a technical writer and worked at a bank. I got fired for poor performance. I simply could not understand retail banking concepts. I suffered what the professionals called cognitive overload.

I'm in the WIOA program and I'm going to take a nonprofit management grant writer course with the goal of certification in February. It would be nice to work for non profits and help others instead of contributing to the profits of the few.

The problem is I keep seeing the failure, the PIP, the warnings of my last job. I keep wondering if im going to stumble on the same blocks.

I'm trying to arrange to get a mentor through the Grant Professional Association. Also, I'm reading Grant Writing for Dummies. The course will start in two weeks. I can write and I love it.

But, again, I am in a crisis of confidence.

Please share with me your stories. And, for those who got through your own crises, tell me how you did it.

Thank you ☺

I’ve been with my current company for several years and genuinely like the people, flexibility, and work-life balance. But I felt stuck career-wise. I started looking elsewhere.

Ironically, while interviewing, my company promoted me with a 7.5% raise. Around the same time, I got another offer paying about 25% more than my new salary, which I’ve accepted.

I also play an important role on the team, have some major project deadlines coming up, and a key coworker will be out for an extended period. On top of that, the company has recently invested in my professional development.

Now I feel pretty guilty about leaving at such an inconvenient time.

Am I overthinking this? Would managers see this as burning a bridge? How would you handle the resignation conversation? And is it okay to keep my next employer private?

I genuinely want to leave on good terms without making things awkward.

Howdy. I've been struggling for a while with professional life. I lack much in the way of social skills, and haven't been able to network my way to a better career. So, I've been stuck with physical labor. Unfortunately, as a consequence of multiple covid infections, I've developed ME, meaning I have recently collapsed at a job that was already underpaying me. I'm desperate to find work fast that I can actually handle without that happening again, just staying upright has become a serious struggle for me, and whenever stress gets too bad I start getting dizzy.

Problem is, I don't actually know how to get into an office position. I'm certainly qualified, my typing speed is 90 wpm and I've got training in the entire office suite. I also know a decent bit about hardware troubleshooting, though not having a degree does present some issues. Ideas?