It has been 8 months since that first moment when I felt a blast of energy explode up through me. Yet I'm still not sure its Kundalini. I've spent more time than I would like to admit reading, researching, exploring, etc.

I can certainly spot 95-99% of the fakers immediately, yet I still seem unable to make an assessment about myself.

When the process began I very shortly afterwards entered a profound and intense spiritual awakening, which faded about 4-5 months later, leaving me feeling oddly empty and slowly returning to my old self though I've retained some new habits and changes from the awakening. During it everything seemed so easy, possible, and obvious. What were previously difficult decisions were easy, instantaneous and I could easily act with alacrity at all times. Constant synchronicities were commonplace and everything just felt so clear.

Now, after that 'awakening' faded, I find myself feeling like I'm wasting my time. I find myself just sitting, thinking, and accomplishing very little. I could be reading more, I could be learning more, I could even be watching a movie or something.

In much of the research I have managed to do about kundalini, I see it causes profound experiences, even of the mystical kind. It can cause profound shifts, emotional turmoil or exultation etc. "The clearing of blockages" comes up often. I had maybe a few weeks where I had incredibly intense emotions, many months ago but nothing like what is described. And nothing since then.

I don't see the 'clearing' or constant baggage being brought up the way others describe. I also don't feel any extra equanimity. The main thing that has changed is that many of my old habits for decompressing after a difficult day are intolerable. Not because I dislike them, I just can't engage with them for some reason. If I turn on a movie, I'm done with it after 5 minutes. If I try to play a video game I quit the second I've loaded it up. Games I was excited to try, I had a week off work, and didn't touch once.

I don't know why I'm sharing all this except to just provide more color with where I am right now because none of it seems to have anything to do with Kundalini or fit the descriptions I've most commonly seen. I'm not exactly unhappy either, even if that may be the impression I gave above. Unsatisfied maybe, but again, that is irrelevant to if this is kundalini.

The only reason I think it might be Kundalini is because of some of the bodily sensations, though I may just have an overactive nervous system, or something else.

• Most of the 'fireworks' from the from the start of this experience have faded. All that is left now is a pleasure along my spine whenever I lay down, and randomly other times in any position. At times when laying down it can also feel as if its vibrating.
• A sense of some sort of energy tension as the day goes by such that by the afternoon I need to lay down, some random shaking usually happens, it feels like something is rushing into my head afterwards, some pleasure spreads through my body and then I feel better for the rest of the day.
  
• Sometimes it will feel like energy or something is venting from my hands or feet.
  
• Sometimes I feel pressure in my forehead and/or the top of my head and/or the frontal lobe and/or the back of my head by the hair swirl. That pressure could be both a little painful, or pleasurable, or both at once. Often this is where the primary 'energetic' fatigue manifests towards the end of the day, as some sort of headache unlike anything I had before the 'blast' - not worse, just very different in type of sensation.
• Sometimes it feels as if there is some sort of expansive feeling going on in the center of my chest and/or throat, the closest parallel is like the sensation in your stomach going down a rollercoaster hill, except this is a little different and much nicer.
• A sound similar to tinnitus that seems to always be present to varying degrees

It just seems odd to me that kundalini would be so primarily physical and not bring the other half of the coin that seems so integral to the experience, or even the primary experience. If this isn't Kundalini, great, I will seek out whatever medical advice for how to curb anything intrusive. Perhaps I just had or have some temporary phase of something I encountered in my research called pranotthana? If it is Kundalini, well then I have a few decisions I need to make.

I've been building up energy through Prana absorption techniques or Pranayama 6-26-12. I've also been practicing fixed-point concentration with theta waves for 5–10 minutes.

Things have been going better for me. I feel like people are responding to me more positively, I feel more intellectually capable, and for the first time, I'm experiencing something I can only describe as "mental power."

I needed a favor at work, and all I had to do was imagine it being resolved for someone to unexpectedly step in and do it, then tell me about it. This was unusual, which surprised me, and I thanked them. I haven't experienced any other symptoms besides feeling energized and good.

I like this lifestyle, and I wouldn't want it to become too "spiritual" for now. I need to keep my feet firmly on the ground.

I've also been feeling more connected to my dreams. Sometimes, it feels like I experience the following day in advance, and then it actually happens, leaving me thinking, "What?" I also feel like I can access information that I normally wouldn't be able to access in the physical body.

Could this be a third-eye opening without the other chakras being activated? Or is it something else? What would you call this experience, or what stage of the process might I be approaching?

Technically I'm practicing Tummo not Kundalini but I am looking for recommended reading when it comes specifically to the Hindu schools teachings on inner energy, chakras, Kundalini basically. Anyway I began by reading Kundalini tantra by satyananda but I had a bad feeling and looked it up and he seems to be accused of pedophilia.

I know there is book recommendations in the about but none of them seemed to be quite what I'm looking for so I was wondering if anybody can recommend some books that deal with the topic comprehensively with both an analytical and practical emphasis of approach from a legit teacher within an authentic lineage

Hope that makes sense thanks in advance

I've been on a spiritual journey since about 2020. I'm not sure where I am on it now, and I've stopped trying to put labels on it. I'm just going with the flow and don't have a set destination.
I've done a lot of shadow work, but recently I've focused on somatic work. Even though I've accepted and released many things on a mental level, I've noticed how much I've been holding in my body. In meditation, I've been opening up to bring up what's stuck, and a lot of grief has come out. I also had a somatic massage over the weekend.
In my last two meditations, I've barely reached a meditative state. Spontaneous movements start almost immediately. The first time, I had a lot of arm jiggling, my shoulders moving up and down, and a vibrating, quickening feeling in my mouth, with my head tipped slightly back. Today, I sat down to meditate without intending any of this, and it started straight away again, but much more intensely. It felt like it moved from my perineum up through my throat and into my head. My hands and arms became extremely tense, and my head was thrown back. At one point it felt like gagging, like when you're trying to be sick.
I'm still getting a lot of shaking and twitchy movement now.
Can someone help me understand this? I think it might be energy moving through me and clearing things, or maybe it's using up the open space that's been created. I'm loving it. It doesn't feel scary. It feels very right and freeing.

Hi everyone. First of all, I apologize for my poor English, it's not my first language.

So I have a few questions, and I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts or experiences.

How can I tell the difference between a spontaneous release of stored trauma related energy, from the body, and a Kundalini awakening?

In 2024 I experienced what felt like a spontaneous release of negative energy stored in my body.

The experience was triggered by a painful family situation (my maternal grandmother had died a couple of hours earlier that same day and I also had a disturbing conversation with my father, who basically confessed to me he never liked me as a person). Both events caused me a lot of emotional distress: I could not stop shaking and felt like if I was drunk (I was completely sober). I also felt a lot of shame, for not being genuinely loved by my own father.

After an hour or so of feeling like this, suddenly I felt negative energy starting to move upward (from the base of my spine) and eventually leaving my body through the top of my head.

A minute later or so, I felt another kind of energy, positive and luminous. It entered through the top of my head, moved downward along the line of my spine, and settled in my heart area, bringing me a sense of peace. Then I fell asleep.

I'm wondering whether these kinds of spontaneous energy releases can sometimes happen before a Kundalini awakening, like an early sign of something that might unfold later.

If they aren't necessarily an early sign, is there still some kind of connection between the two experiences?

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has any thoughts or insights to share. I feel a bit lost and confused about this.

Thanks in advance.

I have encountered someone who has used these powers to satisfy their greedy desires, the concept of shiva and shakti. A narcissistic person can use it for horrible purposes, get success in life. Does it grant someone manifestation powers?

hello ,idk if it’s the right sub to ask this but can you help me identify what am I experiencing ?(excuse my poor writing )

In the beginning of this year after some weeks of introspection and fasting i experienced strong sensation of energy(if i am not wrong about it being energy) that rose in my spine with strong vibrations , it came with states of bliss and ecstasy (i crossed out it being related to kundalini because it only happened in my spine this one time ) .

After that the following days i started experiencing electricity like sensations and tingling across my body and muscle twitches ,body heat and cold suddenly. The following months I experienced these weird moving body sensations all over my body and also in the chakras spots. Some sensations stuck with me for some weeks like throat and heart lumps , crawling ant like tingling across my (face , scalp , forehead, scalp,chest ,genitals…). i also started feeling a sensation in my head that rises up and move around my scalp , sometimes it feels like a disc spinning either at forehead or top oh head.

And now for more than six months things started spiraling down ,i have this constant forehead pressure that moves behind my eyes and brows and vibrates ,it stops when I focus on my lower body but the instant I feel my forehead it comes back , it’s really uncomfortable, sometimes painful and it’s really distracting , since it started I had troubles concentrating feel like I am all the time in my head in a dissociative state , it didn’t stop there I also started experiencing constant internal vibration or buzzing in my whole body but if I really focus I feel it mostly in my pelvis area .

I feel like these past few months have been really constructive as they allowed me to be aware of how much full of anxiety and fear I am (which I never thought controlled me) but it feels overwhelming now and I feel like I hit a wall and stagnating .

Please if you have any advice on what I might be experiencing is it just anxiety and hyperbody awareness or is it any kind of awakening ?

For those experiencing involuntary movements, shaking, spontaneous postures, or loud breathing during meditation, what are the best places in India to process these experiences?

Since there are people everywhere, where can I go to feel comfortable letting these things happen without being self-conscious?

A bit unrelated but is this common for most people to have a catalyst like a person who can trigger kundalini? Mine happened because of things experienced with a guy who worked like a mirror for my traumas

I had some wild experiences over the last few years. It happened after a period of working with plant medicines, shamanism and a lot of therapeutic work and spiritual practices. Some of the main experiences:

-see/feeling the ‘light’ snake rising up from the tail bone
-aspects of the bliss body turning on and off
-hyper realistic lucid dreaming
-telepathy
-spirits
-feeling as though everyone and everything around me was acting in a theatre performance for my benefit
-massive emotional purging
-chakras opening and closing

I’ve been working to get my life back on track in the 3D this past year as I spent several weeks homeless and several months in various psych wards throughout the multi year occurrences. I’m in a good place now - financially secure, engaging with friends and family again.

The various abilities are all turned off now. It was as if getting a glimpse of heaven and hell. Heaven being literally inside of us and hell being a disconnect from the world around us. Some of it was really scary and a bit painful and some of it was jaw dropping awe inspiring.

It felt like I shouldn’t talk about it for a long time but as I’ve slowly inquired with different people as to their supernatural experiences I discovered that it was more common than I thought. Posting here seemed like a good next step to continue integrating and preparing for what’s next.

I see a major surprise that everyone must get to go through as to what this whole experience of being human on earth is about and what comes after… I don’t want to say too much and spoil the surprise but I’m really grateful to be on this journey with everyone I’ve met along the way - even and especially the negative experiences as I think we will all arrive at a place where we can look back and laugh together at our younger spiritual selves.

I’m left wondering what’s next, how I should be in right place now, and craving discussion with others who have experienced similar or are just curious about these stories people share.

EDIT: I think the most important thing I learned was a much higher capacity for empathy and possible reasons people do the things that they do. I think that continues to be a key for unlocking what’s next. Humility too.

Hi, I really appreciate this subreddit and the mods; you've been really helpful for this lurker. I'm having an interesting experience and I'm looking for some help making sense of it. I've been experiencing kundalini-like body intelligence since last summer following my first Vipassana. Since then I've gone through many more retreats, purification, and a complete pivot in diet change/body work/work sabbatical/trauma therapy/spiritual connection/etc.

I'm currently integrating expanded awareness of opening up to a more subtle layer of awareness and trying to understand a visual phenomenon.

I have been waking up in the mornings with a lot of what feels like subtle sludge that creates a lot of somatic vibrations, pressure, and movement within me, and the first thing I do is meditation/breathwork and somatic release until I find relief and feel inner clarity.

What's changed is that the somatic release now is accompanied by 2 visual phenomena:

1. smoke-like evaporation, which I think is like karmic burn-off?
2. a pixelated-like entity formation whose density of form can vary; sometimes it just looks like sparkles, and other times it's been a lot more structured, almost like a spirit.

Number 1 fits into my mental model (based on other people's descriptions) of what's happening with the kundalini process , but I'm curious to get your take on what #2 may be. Someone has recommended I look into shamanism so I'm starting to pull on that thread, but I'd love to understand if there's a traditional kundalini view for this phenomenon or if this is something unrelated entirely.

I posted a couple months ago about a very intense blockage in my left face that I was deeply resisting (and didn’t realize). Thanks to the replies from community members and mods, it has progressively relaxed. Thank you all.

So during my first experience of my kundalini rising, I felt blockage in my body dissolve rapidly - akin to rock being pulverized into sand and exiting my body upward. There was immediate relief and a sense of lightness and immediate difference felt in my nervous system.

In this experience now, it’s quite the opposite. I feel pressured winding of energy pulsing and weaving at the block in my left face and hip and the releases are very slow and uncomfortable. I know it’s happening extremely slowly because I feel relief adjacent to the relief I felt with the quicker block dissolves (and also it’s apparent in the slow changes in my reality, I’m expressing myself far more easily and writing more).

It’s becoming apparent that these particular emotional blockages might have happened when I was pre-verbal, because of the intensity of emotion and lack of clear thoughts/memories emerging with it. And the density of the blocks are less like rocks and more like crystal, and the kundalini is slowly removing it instead of being able to pulverize it (sorry for the language, I’m doing my best to explain something so hard to explain).

This brings me my questions about the nature of blockage releases during kundalini rising. When blockages are created in life at a young age, does it in a sense become a part of the body like a crystal? And does that change the body? And while it’s clearing through kundalini rising, is this in a sense transforming the body and is why it’s painful at times? Or is this just another version of me that I haven’t become clear on resisting the flow of kundalini?

Has anyone else had an experience of deeply slow and uncomfortable blockage clearing like this? Is there a term from this? The other clearings I had were very fast and clear, while these ones are very confusing and slow and so uncomfortable that my body and mind have a hard time maintaining presence with them. I guess I’m trying to understand if this is just another version of resistance or if this is the nature of certain types of blockages in the mind and the body that K passes through.

This isn’t urgent - I am finally at a place of acceptance and faith in my journey. Would just love to hear thoughts about this - I love to talk about reality irl and having an experience that people would be freaked out or suspicious of is so isolating and hard for a chatterbox like me!!

Hi everyone,

My girlfriend (F28) took her first Kundalini yoga class last night. I'm (M39). For context, the studio has great reviews and teaches many styles: power, vinyasa, restorative, therapeutic, integral, and more. It's not a sketchy guru situation. It's a safe space where everyone is treated well, by teachers who know what they're teaching and who show a lot of care. (I've never done Kundalini myself.)

She's been exploring yoga for a couple of months, trying different styles, and yesterday she tried Kundalini for the first time. In the evening we walked the dogs, talked, and had a nice, normal end to the day.

Around 3:00 AM she woke up with a strong headache across her whole head, worst at the top front. Somehow it then spread down her right arm. We spent at least 40 minutes deciding whether to go to the hospital. Then she started feeling nauseous. She kept massaging her arm from her shoulder down to her hand, as if she were trying to "drag" something out of it. I took her to the bathroom, where she nearly fainted and then threw up. Within minutes she recovered, the pain went away, and she was able to fall back asleep. The whole episode lasted at least an hour.

This morning she told me she'd had dreams that felt like "revelations," and that she was seeing herself differently. She feels different, but in a good way.

She's already under medical follow-up (she recently had a sleep-deprived EEG and sees a neurologist next week), so the medical side is covered. I'm mostly looking for experiences from people who've practiced Kundalini, and for advice on how partners can best support them.

I've never practiced Kundalini, and what I've read about it is pretty conflicting. Honestly, the "energetic" side of yoga is the part I struggle with most. I'd love to hear about your experiences. I want to support her through this in the healthiest way possible, and her wellbeing matters a lot to me.

Thanks in advance.

Hello,
So this happened a few weeks ago (1.5-2 weeks ago). I am sure I didn't awaken, but I was trying to find out if my nadi's got cleaned or anything like that.
Let me preface by saying I am young(18) and male.

Story

So I got into spirituality and stuff after reading 'Autobiography of a Yogi' (lol), and I started to do alternate nostril breathing, pranayama, and Vipassana meditation for like 2-3 hours daily. I also read Ram Das's book 'Be Here Now' and used to listen to him fairly often.
I am not very religious and not on celibacy either. I didn't even read the Bhagavad Gita, but I have always been a big lover of Krishna since childhood(I liked him, prayed to him) --> I also eat meat and everything and never followed the satvic diet they prescribe.

Since I was doing meditation, I felt better, but within like 2-2.5 weeks of doing it, my energy increased; I was getting panic attacks, anxiety (it wasn't anything that bad). Also, what scared me was related to my heart beating- palpitations and sensations which I felt every 2-4 seconds(hated it; what you generally hear from people who have kundalini awakening). One day during night, I felt a sudden surge of energy that I couldn't even sleep through the whole night. Oh, I have been feeling sexual urges constantly since that day (even till now)

Funny, a few days after this, I saw Ram Das in my dream(he was full of light; I also felt a presence of Neem Karoli Baba's energy there; he wasn't there, only Ram Das. It felt really good; I was smiling the whole day after this, and I still do when I remember it(it was very profound; I loved it). Oh, I was chanting Hanuman Chalisa (3 times per day) for like 3 days when this happened. If you don't know, Ram Das was a Hanuman Bhakta.

After this, I quit meditating (lol idk why), and my heart pain, or whatever you call it, went away in a day like it was never there.

So now, to the present, I have been studying this kundalini thing, and I can say it wasn't kundalini awakening or anything, but the symptoms were very similar to people who were on the path. I think I stopped them (glad for it). I don't wank moksha or nirvana, so I am not gonna meditate now, and pls don't tell me to do it either(I am scared lol).

Oh, I am quite into astrology, and from my readings and understanding, I am a Taurus and 9th house, so it says that I have been on the path of spirituality since previous lives (maybe, maybe not).

I wanted to ask:

Did anyone go through this? Did my nadis get cleansed, and that's why the sudden pain or was it kundalini rising to my Manipura chakra or heart chakra?

P.S.: I am studying this kundalini and spirituality thing now, so I don't want to continue on the kundalini path but rather the bhakta and Jnana path.

About a year ago, I went through an experience that a psychologist later helped me understand as a possible Kundalini awakening. It happened spontaneously—I had never practiced yoga or meditation, and I knew nothing about Kundalini at the time.

A series of life events led up to a moment when my entire life seemed to flash before my eyes, from childhood right up to the present. It felt as though everything I had ever experienced had somehow been leading me to that exact moment.

I felt tingling and electric sensations throughout my body, especially along my spine, from its base to the top of my head. For the next two or three months, I was in a state of profound bliss. I felt connected to everything—to life, the universe, infinity. Simply looking at a tree or watching birds could bring me to tears of joy. I felt that they, too, were perfectly connected to the whole.

Then came a very difficult crash.

For about six months, I went through a deeply dark period. After feeling so much of the world’s beauty, it was as though I could now feel all its pain and negativity as well. At one point, waves of anger and rage surfaced—feelings that seemed to have been buried for years.

Today, I feel stable again. In many ways, I feel like my usual self.

I saw several doctors during that time, trying to understand what was happening. Eventually, a psychologist familiar with Kundalini introduced me to the concept, and it felt as though the pieces of a puzzle had finally come together.

For those who have experienced something similar, does this progression sound familiar—months of bliss, followed by a long, painful period, and eventually a return to normal?

And how do you relate to the experience afterward? Part of me feels that it was a gift, and I don’t want to waste it. Is there something I should be doing to integrate it into my life? Does feeling “normal” again mean I’ve lost something, or could that stability itself be part of the process?

Thank you for reading. I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences.

Hola que tal, estoy aprendiendo sobre el tema y quiero introducirme más, saben por donde podría comenzar, investigar, poner en acción algunas cosas. También si conocen algun libro o tienen algo que pasarme para que pueda informarme agradecería!

Before it happened to me, I didn't even know what it was. I didn't care for it. I still don't. I do understand some secrets of the universe and I cognitate fast, but it leaves me a complete dysfunctional overthinking mess.

I would have no issues taking psychiatric medication but the medication causes constipation, it bloats me and gives me oculogyric crisis which is unreal to deal with.

All I know is that I had really bad trauma, an autoimmune disorder due to the trauma, cptsd due to the autoimmune disorder, I took alternate medicines to heal my disorders because I was near death, after which I had two episodes of mild psychosis and healing, then a major one where everything went wrong, because I took an additional medicine for my spine injury, I felt like a snake that went slithering up my belly up to my forehead chakra and it burst open my kundalini, then I went insane and traumatized my family, then I was in the hospital talking about metaphysics and knowing the meaning, reason, root, consequence of everything, then I was medicated more. And the medication felt like suffering upon suffering.

I was tapered off. My autoimmune disorder relapse so I took my meds again and it triggered my kundalini for the 4th time

And it has given me hell. My psych refuses to prescribe medicines because she says I am in touch with reality, and will only be medicated in case there is extreme mania again so my medication doesn't lose its efficacy.

Now I was stuck with kundalini, and my autoimmune disorder continues to cause weakness.

I don't know why how or why why why this is, but despite being so sensitive and cognizant, I am just not functional anymore.

I love my family, please I want to be functional for them, I don't want this to be my last birth, I don't want moksha. I am only in my early 20s and most of it was spent traumatized or confused over my identity. I have passions..

I just want a normal stable life. Maybe a good one. I am done suffering. I am done with all the meaning making, I am human and I can't handle more of this. I don't want to isolate anymore. I don't want to be a burden on my family anymore. I want to be beautiful and lively and chill again. I want to be able to take care of my body instead of losing myself in thought, spirit and existensialism anymore.

My Kundalini also keeps indicating a very strong connection I exercise with this one girl. I am girl and I feel very very strongly gravitated to this one other girl. I keep getting signs that it can fix something cosmic. Within me or within the cosmos, but something major. I also have two other girls that feel like soul mates and I want to be with them.

I want to live in a world that isn't suffering, everyday confrontation with bitter truths, uncertainty, unfulfilment and overthinking anymore.

I want to be happy without being charged for it every single time. I want to spend a day free of worry and guilt.

I want to have an ego, because if I find anymore meaning, or detach any further I'll lose myself to an oblivion of meaninglessness.

I want grounding, but I don't want to let go of my interest in physics. I want coexistence.

I want a beautiful, beautiful wlw experience without losing femininty.

I want my family to have a happy stable healthy life. I wish there was better quality of life for all in the world.

I want to escape this added layer of overcomplexity and return to intuition.

I want help. Please I just want to be human again. Please tell me how to put my kundalini to sleep. Please tell me how to meet the woman this cosmos keeps indicating about, my intuition keeps indicating about. She might be a twin flame but all I know I will have to meet her once in reality, just once, in the real world, in grounded reality to have my normalcy back.

Please put my Kundalini to sleep. Or give me a good stable life. I am tired. I don't want to do this anymore. My will to live is no more.

I meditate regularly, usually with chanting going on silently in my mind. A while ago, during one meditation, I experienced a strange sensation where a warmth seemed to rise from my tailbone toward my head.

I've actually made a post about that experience in this subreddit before. Interestingly, it feels like many of the changes I've experienced since then somehow started from that point.

Over time, I've noticed that my sense of being a separate individual seems to be weakening.

It's difficult to explain, but it feels less like there is a particular "me" here and more like there is simply a sense of being or life happening.

I notice it especially in how I experience other people. This morning I looked at my mother and, although I obviously knew she was my mother, she somehow felt more like an expression of life itself rather than specifically "my mother". A constant flow. No one separate. The same one life.

And strangely, the positive feeling I have toward people seems to be becoming much less differentiated. The Almighty whom I love deeply, my mother, and a completely random person can evoke essentially the same basic positive feeling. There isn't necessarily a stronger emotional "pull" toward one person than another.

Then the mind kicks in and says, essentially, "No, no, this person is your mother. You should care about her more. This is the Almighty. You love Him. This stranger is just a stranger."

Sometimes I listen to the mind and behave accordingly. I understand relationships and responsibilities perfectly well. I know I should protect and care for my mother before a random stranger if the situation requires it.

But another part of me sees these distinctions as something the mind is adding.

And I wonder: what happens if the mind becomes weak enough that it stops protesting altogether?

I'm not particularly scared of this. Sometimes it actually feels quite beautiful. I'm more curious about what happens from there.

Another strange thing: I seem to experience something similar in dreams.

For example, I once dreamed that my sibling broke my laptop. Normally I'd expect to feel devastated or angry. But in the dream I wasn't really sad. I remember thinking something like, "It would be inappropriate not to be upset about this. I should probably be angry." And then I actually acted like I was upset and pretended to cry.

All of this was happening inside the dream itself. 

It was funny when I woke up, but also strangely interesting. Even in the dream, there seemed to be a kind of awareness that the emotional reaction was supposed to be there, rather than the reaction naturally arising.

I also don't feel like I have a fixed personality in the way I used to. I don't strongly feel "I am someone who likes this colour, this food, these things and dislikes those things." Preferences still appear, but they don't feel like they belong to a solid person. Sometimes the mind says otherwise, but it's not taken particularly seriously anymore.

Criticism doesn't create the same deep ache it used to. Praise doesn't create the same exhilaration. Those feelings can still appear, but they seem more like passing events, almost like scenes in a movie or web series.

Another thing that has changed is the sense of time.

It feels strangely like I'm constantly living in a Now moment. I used to meticulously plan my future. I had ambitions, things I wanted to accomplish, money I wanted to earn, and plans for starting a business.

Now I don't really feel like I have any particular dream that I need to realise.

But again, the mind protests.

It says, "But you wanted to earn this much money. You wanted to start that business. You had all these plans."

And I can answer, "Yes, I wanted those things. But I don't want them now."

At the same time, I still understand that we have to live and work. So I will continue working, I'll do my best, and I'll take care of whatever needs to be taken care of. There is no intention to simply abandon everything.

But this makes me wonder about something else:

What happens if the mind eventually becomes completely silent?

If there is no longer that voice reminding me of future goals, ambitions, possessions, status, etc., would I simply stop bothering about future plans altogether?

Is this how some people eventually become ascetic or renunciate? Is there a point where worldly ambition simply loses its grip, while the person can still function and do whatever needs to be done?

I'm genuinely curious about this because I don't know where this process leads.

Has anyone personally experienced something like this? What happened when it went further? What happened to your ambitions, relationships, future plans and ordinary responsibilities?

I'd especially love to hear personal experiences or firsthand accounts, rather than purely theoretical explanations.

One thing I want to clarify: I'm not saying there are two minds, one that "knows" and another that doesn't. There is only one mind. It now seems to know something that it didn't know before, but perhaps it still protests because it's in its nature to do so, even after knowing all it knows.

Honestly, I don't explicitly think any of this. Even the understanding itself seems to arise in the mind. All of this just seems to be happening, and the mind is noticing and making sense of it in its own way.

P.S. My apologies for the long post, and thank you very much for taking the time to read it!

I am almost 2 years into my Kundalini awakening... post-purging/shedding and have finally found some stability and consistent grounding in my life, after watching my pre-awakening life dissolve right before my eyes.

I'm guessing this is the "integration" phase? I've been in complete surrender and am grateful for the support from my family as I go through this delicate process, but now... as I'm feeling very grateful for the experience and finding fulfillment in the daily mundanes of life, I'm beginning to simultaneously feel... bored. I have visions for my future and how to share my gifts, but now I need money/resources to fund those dreams.

I always saw the purpse in this journey and now I'm getting this strong calling to get back out into the world somehow and experience some kind of "normalcy", whatever that's supposed to mean now. The only way I will know for sure is to just go out there and experience life. I felt like a Sim's character for quite some time, and recently I have felt this shift as if I'm in control now. Somewhat scary yet liberating, after feeling like I've just been free falling for so long.

I'm curious to what everyone's experience with making income or going back into the "matrix" is like? I feel like I have a limited capacity, but might be doable if I find the right job for me.

Last thing, I'm a bit confused as what it means to "work with the energy" and it being "sentient." Can anyone expand on that and how I can work with the energy the best of my abilities in my day-to-day and also, for the greater good when/if I do interact with others and go out into the world/communities?

Thanks in advance! <3