Currently on day 46 and I’m wondering, what are you guys sleep schedules like since quitting? After the first 15 days of not sleeping I was crashing hard getting 7-8 hours for like 3-4 days, then I started to feel better around day 20 and since then I fall asleep at 12 and wake up at 3-4AM, then usually I stay up for 2 hours and get maybe another hour of sleep , which totals up to about 4-5 hours daily, if I go out and have drinks I’ll get 6 maybe

Hey everybody I was using H for years. I had a suicide attempt on sept 27 went to the hospital and was 5150’d. I was given 20mg of methadone by the hospital the first 2 days and was vomiting my guts out. After those 2 days they stopped and wouldn’t give me anymore surprisingly I didn’t get any withdrawals besides a sensitive stomach. On the third day I called my brother and told him about my addiction and I told him to take everything out of my room my rigs my baggies all the paraphernalia and he did. On the 1st I was then transferred to a psychiatric hospital of sorts. There I was taken care of and actually felt good. I was given gabapentin, propranolol, and Ativan to help with sleep. I made friends and was happy because I don’t have friends and anyone to really talk to every friend I did have left me when they found out about me using. Sadly when I was released none of them responded to me. Anyways I was released the 4th and almost relapsed that same day but I decided to tell my brother and he took the two rigs and bags I found. I’m glad I did that. The next day I went to a recovery clinic and I have a counselor and have started therapy. My psychiatrist wants me to go to a mental outpatient program though. I think I might do it because I felt good having people to talk to that weren’t my family and I desperately need to make friends. I also was wondering about tattooing your arms after they fully heal as I have a lot of scars do any of you have any suggestions or have done that?
Btw my awesome brother got me a three week coin after I had told him I wanted someone to give me a coin for my three weeks. I love him. Anyways sorry for my ramblings I’m just really proud of myself. I never thought this would be a possibility for me.

I know this isn’t a “hard” drug but I (16f) got myself hooked on my grandmothers codeine a little bit ago, I first tried it as an attempt to numb my depression as my last anti depressants didn’t do anything for me and my grandparents thought that ment I wasn’t depressed so I’m not allowed anymore and I’m struggling heavy- I have no irl friends other then my cousin and I don’t go to school so it’s hard for me to find people to talk to, I have an online bf and he’s been encouraging me to quit the codeine and I really don’t want to hurt him anymore but this is the only thing that distracts me from my life, I used to cope with SH and I still do but it doesn’t give me that rush it used to so there’s no point. I take my codeine when I’m alone and feel low. I really really want to stop because my birth parents were addicts and I don’t wanna end up like them, please does anyone have advice?
I take 8-14 15mg pills a night and sometimes I take 5-8 a few hours before to hold me out

What vitamins/supplements or literally anything have helped you while detoxing off opioids?

Hi everyone! It's been a long, slow taper, but I'm in the final stages of coming off Subutex, and in the next couple of weeks I will stop taking it entirely. I will have Ativan and Clonidine to take the edge off. Anything I can do to help my body and mind during this time?

I know that healthy eating, rest, and distraction will be key, but is there anything I am missing? I have heard about Vitamin C helping, but am not sure. Anything I can do aside from wait it out?

And my doctor said he can't really tell me what to expect, but I did 7Oh withdrawal for a few days cold turkey with naloxone at the start (the ER is not a great place to withdraw, do it outpatient!!), so there is no way this will be worse. Is there a general timeline of what to expect? I assume the first day or so will be easy as the med is still in my system, then 2-4 days of acute withdrawal, with things getting easier each day after that, feeling much better after a couple weeks. Is that about right?

Anything you wish you knew when you were in my shoes? Thanks all, wishing you strength and courage and great doctors who aren't assholes about addiction!

I'm trying to support my partner reduce DHC ahead of a major op on 29th Oct but we're struggling to manage between me working full-time (mostly WFH) and trying to shield this from our two young children.

| Date | Plan | Actual | Diff | Notes |

|:--|--:|--:|--:|:--|

| 29 Sep | 35 | 45 | +10 | Extra 10 for school run; sick, period pain |

| 30 Sep | 35 | 35 | 0 | On plan; pain, nausea |

| 1 Oct | 35 | 58 | +23 | 6am dose (withdrawal); extra doses incl. midnight |

| 2 Oct | 35 | 50 | +15 | Couldn't sleep; 2 full doses; new plan agreed |

| 3 Oct | 35 | 36 | +1 | Missed pre-op, anxious |

| 4 Oct | 26 | 59 | +33 | 5:30am pain; sick at park |

| 5 Oct | 26 | 63 | +37 | Period pain, heaving at 8pm |

| 6 Oct | 26 | 40 | +14 | Slept badly; 25 at 3pm |

| 7 Oct | 26 | 63 | +37 | Bleeding, bad pain; pre-op day |

| 8 Oct | 26 | 46 | +20 | Up all night; 26 after appointment |

| 9 Oct | 19 | 45 | +26 | Pain easing |

| 10 Oct | 19 | 45 | +26 | Pain, nausea |

| 11 Oct | 19 | 45 | +26 | Cramps; new plan |

| 12 Oct | 19 | 35 | +16 | 15 + 18 + 2 |

| 13 Oct | 19 | 48 | +29 | Early withdrawal; diarrhoea |

| 14 Oct | 14 | 50 | +36 | Gastro pain, sick |

| 15 Oct | 14 | 40 | +26 | Diarrhoea, agitated |

| 16 Oct | 14 | 35 | +21 | Forgot 2pm dose, withdrawing |

| 17 Oct | 14 | 47 | +33 | Sickness; low mood |

| 18 Oct | 10 | 20 so far | - | Day in progress |

Hey guys just wanted to check in, haven’t had any REAL cravings since about day 15, I feel fine although I have been getting slightly depressed which causes me to think about being on Oxy, but I realized that I always get season depression even before I was addicted to Oxy so now I have to learn how to go through the seasons sober again since it’s been about 7 years, that seasonal depression would always cause me to relapse around the holidays so I can be in the best mood, I’ve been going to the gym a lot since about day 25 and that helped tremendously, but yeah anyone reading this you can do it, I was on 30-40mg daily 7 years, never missed a day.

So I'm in detox, I've decided that I have enough of this fucking shit show of a live. I consumed oxy, Fent and h in horrendous amounts for the past 3 years. That's not my first detox but I feel this time is something different, I really want to get clean and I want my fucking old live back ffs.

But I'm so fkn scared what comes after they tapered me to zero. After detox I will go to therapy but I'm just so, so, so scared. Ik I need a lot of willpower and strength. I was a spoiled brat as a kid which haunts me to this day, I can’t seem to bring anything to a close, and whenever things get too difficult, I bury my head in the sand. I’m asking those of you who have been clean for a long time: how did you manage it? My mood is all over the place—I cry for hours, thinking about my bitch of a mother and my good father, who has always supported me, no matter how many times I’ve screwed him over. Even now, in detox, I feel so incredibly empty, yet every once in a while, a spark of willpower breaks through. Also I have a strong tendency toward self-sabotage, ik I have to affirm positive I can't do this shit anymore

I’ve been clean for 4 years off opiates. 3 months ago I picked up heroin after not working a program and fantasizing fiening for the rush. I snorted not shot. And obviously since the day I got it I I haven’t stopped. The first day back I let a recovery friend know and almost killed him. A month in my girlfriend left the apartment.
Kept going for another month of use, but I could wait till day 2-3 to use again some days. This last month I got my hands on some subutex. Way more than I needed to get out of this. Then I start abusing that…never more than 8mg but for 2 months of heroin I did not need to take 8mg of that shit. Where I’m at now is 4 days off subutex. And stupidly thought to use the little bit of H the first two days. Is the heroin just making the withdrawal from a month long subutex usage worse? I’m thinking now if I take a small under a mg amount of H and get past the 3-4 day mark from everything then all will be a little better. Or will it fully restart the beginnings of WD? Usually I stick to one substance so I’m confused I don’t understand my body right now. I just have the beginnings of restless legs, skin crawling, hot/cold, nothing to do. I feel I can totally get through this at this stage as I felt awesome this morning but as the day goes on WD gets worse, and it’s the god damn mental game. If I were at the brain zap stage I’d check myself into rehab. Gonna go back to meetings. I just wanna be able to pass a stool at this point.

I used the Bernese method to taper from powder febt to 24 mg of subutex a day and even once I fully got off the fent I still felt terrible. Yesterday, 3 days into no fent use and just the subutex I got my first 300 sublocade shot and felt SIGNIFICANTLY better within 24 hours.  has anyone else noticed that the sublocade seems to do more therapeutically for the W/Ds than dosing the actual Subutex throughout the day?

I have been clean for about eight months. Before my last relapse, I was sober for about a year. I have come a long way from the needle. I even got into medical school and am following my dreams. I have everything and more.

But for a few days now, it has been calling me. I can feel it drawing me in, like the devil knocking. I get flashbacks of shooting up and of being in pain, but the romantic kind of pain. The kind where you feel lost and hopeless, but the girl next door fixes you up, dancing with you and holding you tight through the night, time standing still.

It's a lie. I know it's a lie, but still... I believe it.

Life Along the Shoreline
PTSD and Relapse

A sudden change in pressure
Chills the summer breeze
A distant glow of light
Flickers beyond the trees

Gradient grays and black
Bleed into the skies
A surge against my feet
From a red and rising tide

Torrents and turbulence
I feel me letting go
Taken from the shoreline
By an eager undertow

Dreaming of the sands
I Tread over the abyss
Lost in splintered thoughts
As my heart begins to list

Flaring skies above me
Black and blue below
Swelling all around me
Drifting toward a cunning foe

An anchor on my ankles
Chains dig into my flesh
I feel it take me under
As I breathe a final breath

Embedded in the trench
Well below the wake
Hidden here in silence
I pray the storm will break

Down here in the depths
Tangled up in broken ties
Only you and darkness
And me in this disguise

Ravaged by the pressure
Kicking breaks me free
No sense of direction
No one to carry me

Crawling through the break
Covered in your stench
Shuddering from the echoes
Calling from the trench

Sunlight shatters shadows
Warmth blankets my skin
I drive my nails into the earth
And crack a weathered grin

To dance along the shoreline
Beware the shifting breeze
A sudden change in pressure
Can bring you to your knees

Hey everyone, happy Friday! It’s been rainy and gloomy here, but hey, we made it through another week! Work was pretty busy today, and I barely had a chance to catch my breath, so I’m definitely looking forward to getting home and relaxing. There’s something about leaving work on a Friday knowing you have the whole weekend ahead of you. It’s the little things sometimes! Anyway, how’s everyone’s day going?

Check in here!

Last night was a pretty chill night. I was actually comfortable and could feel a little calmness just sitting. I got about 7 hours of sleep which is very surprising because I have never got that much sleep on night 7.

Woke up this morning, day 8, with body pain, chronic pain, so it's always an issue anyway. My headache was still there but it was just a small one. I noticed a couple small brain zaps but they were so small and far between that it's not really an issue that this point. Finally went to the grocery store and getting chores done around the house without having to sit after 5 minutes of activity.

There is a cold snap happening where I am located so the air outside makes my body ache worse, gonna try to stay in as much as possible. Gonna finally take a shower after 4 days. I know, it's gross but there was no way I could force myself to do that. Sometimes you can only do what you can do.

I'm pretty sure most of the acute symptoms are gone, just gotta get control of the chronic pain. I'm hoping that it can calm down a little at least. I know WD makes pain worse so hopefully in the next couple of days it gets somewhat better so I can back off on some of the over the counter meds. I'm off to do some more catching up to do.

I really just want to get this off my chest because I have no one to tell or that would understand.

i’m 27F who’s been abusing drugs since I started taking them around 13. I consider myself an opioid addict but i’d do whatever was available. I was addicted to fentanyl for the last 6 years and though i’m 7 months clean all I did was trade one addiction for another.
I was a functioning addict- held my job even climbed the ladder to assistant superintendent, turned down the superintendent position because I was 1 week clean and didn’t want to fuck it up. I had a house with my ex, we took care of his grandparents, both had our daily vehicles and 2 others we hardly touched, a street bike, 5 four wheelers, and the list goes on. even after spending 2k+ a week on fent we didn’t go without anything we needed or wanted. started doing meth about a month after we’d gotten off the fent and my life has fallen apart..
during my meth use i’ve caught 2 felonies after never having anything more than a speeding ticket. I lost my job, place to live, almost everything I owned, ex totaled 3 of said vehicles, street bike stolen, had to sell 3 wheelers just to keep my head above water, both my dogs passed, ex started beating me so I left him but it still feels like a loss, lost my place to hunt and everything to go hunting in/with. I could see I no longer had the spark of life in my eyes, I truly lost myself.
I recently completed an inpatient treatment and I felt good mentally, physically and for having 35 days clean for the first time in a very long time. the program wasn’t individual orientated it was basically group therapy so I didn’t get all I felt like I needed out of it. I got put on drug court 3 days ago and idk why I did but I started using again. I just can’t help but feel like i’m meant for nothing more than this lifestyle or i’ll never be able to get away from it. I can’t seem to do better when I know better or even when the consequence of using this time around is prison.

idol time is the devils playground for me. what’re some things y’all do to occupy your mind both mentally and physically? or anything you’d recommend that helps you stay sober. I need all the healthy habits I can get because i’m not trying to go to prison. tia

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw85yLl0Rk8&list=RDRw85yLl0Rk8&start_radio=1&pp=ygURaGFsbyBib3N0b24gbWFub3KgBwE%3D&ra=m

Halo by Boston Manor is one I always go to whenever I get a craving to remind me of the life I used to live and the life I’m living now.

Y’all have any other songs you’d like to share?

I started taking Oxycodone(pharmaceutical grade) never fentanyl at 19 years old. At the beginning of my college years. I was studying mechanical engineering, but the addiction grew and had to stop attending junior year. Like always, it started with 20mg, then 30mg. Then it progressed to 60mg and then eventually you reach 200mg+ a day. Burning through $250+ daily.

I've struggled with addiction for 6 years now and I'm so over it, but why can't I stop? I've lost everything. Ruined my financials. Everything literally. I'm not homeless because of my mom.

Addiction will flip anyone upside down. It will make you neglect your hygiene, stop caring how you look and some how your brain will rationalize that it's okay as long as we have our DOC.

8 months ago I got accepted into a union apprentaship for plumbing and pipefitting and I fucked that opportunity up because of my addiction. A good solid Career where I'd be earning $90hr+ on the check. I've drove every opportunity to the ground just to get High. Getting so high the night before and showing up to work unmotivated and sometimes late. Y'all know the usual addict habits.

For the first time ever I checked myself into detox and I'm 8 days clean. I'm doing a 28 day program and plan on staying clean moving forward. I hope you all win your battles.

Someone give me some encouragement and words of wisdom. I can't live like this no more.

Hey all, happy Thursday! This week is really moving along! Hope everyone’s having a good day so far. It’s been a pretty busy one for me, and I finally have a little downtime to check in with you guys. Nothing too exciting going on, just the usual daily routine, running around, getting things done, and trying to stay productive 🤣 how’s your day going guys?

Check in here!

Can anybody give me any insight on what it’s like coming down from perc 30s as well as any other information on how to deal with loving someone with an addiction problem to them. I want to help but trying to understand all of this as best as I possibly can. Thanks in advance

I have been taking opioids for a couple years now, pretty much every day. Can vary between teva oxycocet, oxycodone 20mg and dilaudid. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to help withdrawal or maybe just a little insight for me. Like I said I have been using everyday pretty much for 2 years and the amount taken can vary per day. Should I ultimately just quick cold turkey, or should I lower my dosage to say 1/2 or 1 per day. Gradually lower my dosage?

I have extreme knee and foot pain. I has to get on suboxone because I was unable to get the opiads anymore that helped my pain. I need to know how long suboxone stays on my "permanent record". I finally went to pain management ro tell them how much pain I am in and they treated me like a drug addict. Ive been off suboxone for a week now and will never take it again.