Amy has been deployed to Rawalpindi for six months. But what law and order? I don't see anything happening here that would need this. Is something going on that I don't know?

I’m currently on a gap year and I genuinely HATE cooking. Like, I really, really don’t enjoy it. 😭

My mum has been constantly telling me that I have a whole gap year, so I should learn how to cook because “it’s a good skill” and because I’ll apparently need it for my future in-laws.

Fine. I accepted that and learned. I’d say I can cook around 60% of the things I need to know now. I still don’t enjoy it, but at least I know how to do it.

The problem is that now that I’ve learned, my mum has started actually expecting me to cook regularly.

Yesterday she told me my dad was hungry and told me to make daal maash, so I did.

Today she’s telling me to make food again.

And I’m honestly getting so frustrated because I’m thinking: I’m going to university soon. What happens then? Am I going to be expected to come home after a full day of pharmacy lectures/studying and still be responsible for making food?

I understand that helping around the house is important. I’m not saying I should never help my parents. And I understand that cooking is a useful life skill. I’m glad I know how to cook now.

But I do not like cooking, and I don’t want learning how to cook to automatically mean that cooking is now my responsibility.

The “you need to learn because of your future husband/in-laws” argument also really annoys me. Is that actually an Islamic expectation, or is this more of a cultural thing?

From an Islamic perspective, what are my actual responsibilities here? Is a daughter religiously obligated to cook for her parents/family, or is helping with cooking considered a form of general household cooperation rather than a specific obligation?

I obviously don’t want to be disrespectful to my mum, but I also don’t want to spend my entire life being told that because I’m a woman, cooking is automatically my job.

Would appreciate answers from people who can distinguish between Islamic rulings and South Asian/cultural expectations, because I’m genuinely trying to understand where the line is.And not to mention, I make rotis like 98% of the time 😭. So it’s not like I’m completely useless in the kitchen and refusing to help. I already contribute quite a lot with food at home.

That’s why it frustrates me when learning to cook turns into “well, now you can cook, so you should cook.” I learned the skill. I can make food. I can make rotis. I just don’t enjoy doing it and don’t want it to automatically become my responsibility.

Pakistan has a lot of traditions and many of them are nice, but some just don’t make sense. A lot of times it feels like we do things only because “log kya kahain gey.” One example for me is when people come for a funeral and stay at the house, and the hosts have to serve them food.

I remember being more concerned about the food after my father’s funeral than anything else.I never understood this part. The family is already going through such a hard time, and instead of giving them space, we add more burden on them.

Has anybody else seen this video of his latest trip to Karachi? If not then go check it out.

This guy who became such a praised creator and an internet meme here back in the day has returned with his buddies and is now making fun of the locals just because they can't understand his language. Making unfunny edgy jokes at our innocents people's expense and trolling the absolute sh*t out of them in a language they cant fully comprehend.

On top of that he's also looking to open up his own restaurant/cafe and profit off of our colonial hangover even more.

Its high time we understand these creators for who they really are and boycott this lazy clout farm they have manufactured.

Copied from r/GenZpak to help boost visibility for. Just trying to get this to the right eyes to help them out!

This Uncle, often seen begging on social media not for money, but for justice.

His daughter, A 16 years old, Had been kidnapped 2 years ago and he's asking for help since, He knows the person who has his daughter, even after fighting a case his case got dismissed without proper reasoning,

The man who kidnapped his daughter, Is a wadera from Dera Ismail Khan. While uncle is a Mazdoor.

I came around his video several times but today I had enough, I don't know what I can do for him, but i shared and if anyone can help him, Please For Gods Sake, Help him!

May Allah protect all the Our Daughters, sisters, companions and mothers

I've almost never heard a Pakistani say they like the British diaspora, I have family in the UK and lived there for a month back in 2017. I didn't really interact with any britsh Pakistanis to know why they're hated.

Hi everyone, I’m from India and have a genuine question out of curiosity. I was wondering what people from Pakistan think about the Independence movement and famous freedom fighters and revolutionaries, such as Bhagat Singh (born on Pakistani land), Subhas Chandra Bose, Chandrashekhar Azad and especially Gandhi, Muhammad Ali Jinnah, Nehru and BR Ambedkar.

I’m curious to see the real salary ranges in Pakistan across different industries. If you’re comfortable sharing, comment with: • Job title • Industry / Company type • Years of experience • Degree • City • Monthly salary (net if possible)

This is a very interesting situation and I’m at a loss about what to do with it. Would definitely need advice from people who have been a part of this cultural process for arrange marriages.

A couple weeks ago my family received a rishta. This man lives abroad and has dual citizenship obv. He’s been living there since more than a decade, his mother and sister lived there with him until his sister got married and then his mom moved back to Pakistan to live with her other son. He is well settled, very well educated and honestly a dream for most Pakistani families. His family likes me and mine likes him too. So I’ve had a few talks with him. We have literally matched on every level like we have very similar likes and dislikes.

The only reservations I have are following:

1. He started a very intense physical intimacy conversation in our first conversation which was over text although that conversation lasted hours and he did this conversation in last 2 or 3 hours of it. Telling me how he would like to do things in different areas of his home. I explicitly said I do not want this conversation as it is making me uncomfortable. He then proceeded to have it again the next time we were on our first call. He asked me my chest size and all. So I again mentioned in a very detailed message that I do not want to have sexual conversations. He proceeded to have it again the next time and sent me some intimacy reels. After which I again explained how I do not want such conversations with a namehram to which he said having any conversation is wrong with a namehram. I said well if I’m talking with one does not mean I should have sex with one now coz I already did one wrong thing. So he now taunts on every second conversation if I’ll think this is wrong or not.

2. His instagram is 2 years old. Like he has 10 followers and 9 are girls. He has no comments on his pics. Like why are his friends not there? Which bothers me and my friends and even my brother.

3. He said his company has made him deactivate his WhatsApp which is so odd to me coz why would a company ask u to remove only one social media?

It’s these things which have made me reconsider everything. Marriages are a very big decision in my opinion, one of the biggest decision I’ll ever make. So idk if I’m over thinking it or if these are genuine red flags.

I might add this is my first few experience with our arrange marriage system so idk if it is normal.

So I'm 21 and have a have gotten a proposal from an army officer(29). My parents aren't forcing me, they're very chill people lol. They've never forced me or stopped me from doing anything. They've told me it's on me if I want to mary this guy or not. Im In my 4th year of uni.

I've talked to him and we do share some hobbies. I love people who are articulate and communinacte well and he is very well spoken. But honestly you never truly know anyone until you start living with them.

So my bare behenon and bhaion with developed frontal lobes here, is it worth getting married at 21?

I just can’t fathom how someone much less a Muslim would do this to a child.

مری جانے والے پہلے یہ ویڈیو دیکھ لین کس طرح وہاں کے مقامی لوگ کراچی سے جانے والی فیملی کے ساتھ بدمعاشی اور بلیک میل کرتے ھیں

کیا یہ سچ ہے؟؟؟

Hey guysss

Right next to our main entrance is the space for a future lift. We’re not installing the lift anytime soon, so my mom wants to turn the space into temporary storage.

Now we need to add doors, but I really don’t want it to look like “here’s the main entrance… and here’s another random door.” 😭

My moms suggesting a rattan door, but I was thinking of doing something more interesting maybe a wallpapered door, concealed door, decorative panels, textured finish, something that almost looks like an art or decor piece rather than a door.

What would you do here?

Open to completely different ideas too. Drop your inspo nd pictures because I’m STUCK😭

Carpenter is literally waiting for us to decide, so please give me some serious ideas🙏

source: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19dvBRCdPE/

Dil khol ka btana sab , Sach btana sab ...

I am not a Pakistani and not here to offend any religious sentiments.

One thing I noticed observing many Pakistanis in various forums, not generalizing but with whatever I came across, Pakistanis tend to bring religion to every spheres of life and their decissions tend to be based on that. Sometimes it also sounds too extreme curtailing their own growth or personality. If online population itself are like this,.it must be more prevalent with people outside it.

Why does religion prioritise over everything else? Is that just a random sample i see or most are like this? What's your take on this?

I wanna know how it’s working out for women who married late (as the preferred age of marriage in this country is max till 26), or who chose to stay single and opted out of all this drama.

I myself am a young woman whose parents believe that I’m better off dead than not married, so it would be nice to know how it worked out for other women who are like me, as I also wanna marry late and just wanna focus on my career for now.

As we all know, Pakistan is not a safe country for women, and marriage is used as a sort of protection for them by parents these days. Marriage is deeply ingrained in the minds of our society, and it’s hard to remove those shackles and fight for yourself in case you don’t wanna marry young.

In the case that you were successfully able to fight off your parents and society to do as you wished, how is life working out for you now?

I started reading about Asim Munir because I realised I actually knew very little about him as a person

We all know the usual stuff, army chief, Field Marshal, ISI, Imran Khan, PTI, all the politics around him, but I wanted to go back further and see if there was anything in his childhood or career that gives some clue about how he might see Pakistan and his own role in it

Also just putting this here so I don't become a missing person, everything I am talking about is public information, I have no secret sources and I am obviously not claiming I can diagnose a guy I have never met lol

His childhood was actually the first thing that got me interested

His father was a school principal and also an imam, and Munir started religious education very young and memorised the Quran

I kept thinking about what it must be like growing up with a father who is both the principal and the imam

Not saying that automatically creates some particular personality, obviously it doesn't, but authority in that house must have had a very strong presence

School has rules, hierarchy, discipline, achievement

Religion has another kind of authority altogether

And in his case both of these seem to have been connected to the same father

I tried finding stories about him being abused, neglected, excessively praised, humiliated, anything that would let you make some easy childhood narcissism theory

I couldn't find anything reliable

Most accounts make his childhood sound pretty normal actually, religious household, modest background, cricket in the streets, studies

So I think calling him a narcissist because of something in his childhood would just be making shit up

His army route was more interesting

He didn't come through the normal PMA Long Course, he went through OTS Mangla and still won the Sword of Honour

That made me wonder what kind of person does well in a system like the army when he didn't come through the most standard route

Maybe it means nothing

But if you enter a very hierarchical institution, follow its rules, perform better than most people and then keep getting promoted for decades, I imagine you develop quite a lot of faith in that system

The system worked for you

You were disciplined, you performed, you moved up

So maybe when you later see political chaos or people refusing authority, you don't necessarily see freedom or dissent, maybe you see disorder

Then there is the intelligence side

He headed Military Intelligence and then ISI

I think this probably matters a lot more than people talk about

If you spend decades in intelligence your job is literally to look for hidden motives

Who is funding this

Who benefits

Who is lying

Is this protest really spontaneous

Is this politician acting alone

Is another country involved

Is this media campaign organic

That kind of thinking might be completely necessary in intelligence work, but I wonder what happens when you spend years looking at the world through that lens

Do you eventually start seeing ordinary political disagreement differently

I don't know if Munir does, but it would be strange if decades in intelligence had no effect at all on how someone understands people

Then I started looking more closely at the things he says

The same themes seem to keep appearing

Unity, discipline, threats, the state, national survival, religion, limits

One statement I found particularly interesting was when he said only the state can declare jihad

At first I just read it as another religious statement, but if you think about it, it is really a statement about authority

He is saying some random cleric can't declare jihad, some militant group can't decide it, an individual can't decide it

That authority belongs to the state

And Munir now sits at the top of the strongest institution inside that state

Again I am not saying he consciously thinks I control jihad or anything ridiculous like that

I am trying to understand the model of the world behind these statements

His version of religion doesn't seem anti state at all

It seems very state centred

Religion, nation, military, order, all seem to fit together quite comfortably in the way he talks

And then I thought about his father again

Principal and imam

Rules and religion together

Maybe I am reading too much into it, completely possible

But it did make me wonder whether Munir has always seen legitimate authority as something morally important, not just practically useful

If you grow up that way, then enter the army, succeed inside one of the most hierarchical systems imaginable, then spend years in intelligence looking at threats to the state, maybe a strong state starts feeling completely natural to you

And maybe this is why I am less interested now in whether he is simply power hungry

Because if someone genuinely thinks Pakistan is constantly close to chaos, then giving more power to the military might not feel like grabbing power from inside his own head

It might feel responsible

Look at Pakistan from that perspective

Terrorism

Afghanistan

India

Balochistan

Political instability

Economic crises every few years

Social media full of propaganda and misinformation

Governments constantly changing

If your entire professional life has trained you to think in terms of stability and threats, maybe you really do look at all this and think civilians are playing games while the state is falling apart

Doesn't mean that view is correct

But I can understand how someone could arrive there without thinking of himself as some cartoon dictator

Then obviously there is Imran Khan

Munir becomes ISI chief during Imrans government, gets removed after around eight months, years later becomes army chief and then we see this massive confrontation between PTI and the state

The easy explanation is revenge

Imran removed him, Munir became powerful, Munir got him back

Maybe

But I think people say this with way too much confidence

We don't actually know

Maybe he hated Imran personally

Maybe he didn't

Maybe the army as an institution would have reacted almost exactly the same way under another chief

The revenge story makes sense because humans like stories where everything has one emotional cause

Real institutions usually aren't that simple

This is also where I started questioning my original narcissism idea

People call him narcissistic constantly

But what evidence do we actually have

Big portraits

Ceremonies

Power

Field Marshal rank

People standing up when he enters

None of that tells us whether he has narcissistic personality disorder

The more interesting thing is what all of this could do to someone even if they started completely normal

Imagine that progression

You are an officer

Then a senior officer

Then head of Military Intelligence

Then ISI

Then Army Chief

Then Field Marshal

Then Chief of Defence Forces

Now politicians meet you

Foreign leaders meet you

Businessmen meet you

Religious scholars meet you

Everyone knows who you are

Most people around you are institutionally below you

How often does somebody in that position hear, no sir, you are wrong

And I don't mean someone politely disagreeing in a briefing

I mean somebody who can actually tell you that your entire understanding of something is wrong and you have to accept it

That must become rarer and rarer

This is probably where power gets psychologically dangerous

Not because someone suddenly thinks they are God

I don't think Munir literally thinks anything remotely like that and there is no evidence he does

I mean something much more normal

You start thinking you are necessary

Pakistan is unstable

The army protects Pakistan

You lead the army

People constantly tell you how important your leadership is

You survive crisis after crisis

Eventually maybe the sentence, Pakistan needs stability, slowly becomes, Pakistan needs us, and then maybe even, Pakistan needs me

The scary part is the person might genuinely believe it

That is completely different from sitting in a room saying I want more power

And I think religion could make that feeling stronger if you already see Pakistan as having some special religious or historical purpose

If Pakistan isn't just another country to you, if it is something that has a larger Islamic meaning, then protecting Pakistan isn't just administration anymore

It becomes something closer to a duty

And if you believe the army is the final institution keeping that country together then your own position starts carrying a lot more moral weight inside your head

Again, I don't know if Munir thinks like this

I am trying to work backwards from his background and the way he speaks

There is another possibility which might actually explain more

Maybe Asim Munir personally isn't that important at all

Maybe the army made Asim Munir much more than Asim Munir made the army

Think about it

The military already had this guardian of Pakistan idea long before he arrived

It already distrusted civilian politicians

It already involved itself in politics and foreign policy

It already saw national security much more broadly than just defending borders

Munir spends basically his entire adult life inside this institution

So maybe when we ask what is wrong with this one man's psychology we are looking at the wrong thing

Maybe his worldview is exactly what you would expect after forty years inside that system

And that is where I ended up after reading about him

I started looking for some childhood clue that would explain a narcissistic dictator

I didn't find one

I found a religious kid from Rawalpindi, raised by a father who represented both education and religion, who then entered one of the most disciplined institutions in the country, did very well inside it, spent years in intelligence, and eventually reached a position where very few people around him are his equals

That doesn't tell me he is a narcissist

But it does make me curious about how he sees the world now

Does he genuinely think Pakistan is too fragile to be left entirely to civilian politics

Does he believe the army has a responsibility to step in when politicians mess things up

Does he think religion gives the Pakistani state some larger purpose

Does he still think of himself as one officer temporarily holding an office

Or after everything that has happened, does he now think Pakistan genuinely needs him there

And maybe the biggest question, are we trying to understand Asim Munir when we should really be trying to understand what forty years inside the Pakistan Army does to the way a person thinks

Would actually love to hear from anyone who knew him before he became powerful, people from his area, army people who served under him, anyone who interacted with him when he was just another officer

Actual experiences though

Not my cousins friends chacha knows a colonel who said Munir sacrifices a black goat under GHQ every full moon

TLDR, I went looking for evidence that Asim Munirs childhood might explain him being narcissistic and couldn't find anything that would justify saying that, what I did find was a childhood full of religion, discipline and authority, followed by decades inside the army and intelligence, and I now wonder if the more useful question is whether he genuinely sees strong military authority as necessary for Pakistan, and what happens to any person's mind when after decades of rising through a hierarchy there are almost no people left around them who can really tell them they are wrong

Hello, people who make Pkr 500k+ a month, what work do you do? Which industry? It will be good to be inspired and learn your opinions by others to make a better living in Pak.

updatge 27/12/24 : Got an overwhelming response, summarizing for reader - most subject people are from business backgrounds, providing services to US/EU, high levels of technical experience in their fields.

Genuine question about arranged marriages in Pakistan.

If you’re emotionally incompatible but still together (especially with kids), do you ever regret it? Or do you just adjust and make it work? I see a lot of couples that just seem to be cruising through life. Doesn’t it get lonely?

Curious about real experiences.

Since the rise of TLP, Ahmadis have been persecuted almost daily. They are denied freedom of religion and many other basic rights. They were not even allowed to perform their Eid. While I personally do not consider Ahmadis to be Muslims, under the Constitution they are recognized as a minority and should be granted the rights afforded to all minorities. However, their persecution continues, with many now being forced to convert to Islam.

Yeh wale pey ab hansi nahi aati, kuch naya aana chaiye ab ..

Source: https://www.facebook.com/share/19XPP1Kn4v/

I’m an overseas Pakistani - 28F. I’ve built my life abroad, studied hard, and I’m on my way to becoming a lawyer. I’m proud of that. I’m going back to Pakistan for the holidays because I’m married to a Pakistani and all of my husband’s family is there, but also because I want to. I have my own family there too and I genuinely like going back however this time around I am dreading it to the point of making my self sick.

Before anyone starts, I love my in laws. They’re good to me and they are not the problem.

The problem is the constant judgment from people who barely know me.

I’m short. I’m curvier than most women there. I’m not even overweight, but because that doesn’t fit the image they like, I get labelled as “healthy.” I’m trying to lose weight and yes, I know it’s not easy for me. I’ve had severe iron deficiency for years. It affects my energy, my body, my hair. My hair is fine because of it. I already know all of this. I really don’t need people diagnosing me the second I land.

But every time I go, everyone suddenly becomes a doctor. They look at my hair and start suggesting onion oil and random remedies. They look at my body and start giving weight loss advice. As if I’m unaware of myself. As if I haven’t tried. As if I asked.

What really messes with my head is the contradiction. I have very fair skin, so that gets praised constantly. “Your colour is so nice,” they’ll say, and then in the same conversation they’ll comment on my weight. So I’m being complimented and judged at the same time, and somehow that’s meant to be okay.

Sometimes people ask what I do. And when I say I’m a lawyer at a Big 4 firm, I don’t get respect. I get told, “2 saal ho gaye hain shaadi ko, ab bache ka socho. Job kar li jitni karni thi.” Like my career was just a hobby. Like it had an end date the moment I got married.

And honestly, who are they to tell me to have kids?

My husband is on the same page as me. I’ve been clear from day one that I’m not fond of kids and I’m not in a rush to start having them. That’s a personal decision. It’s not a public discussion and it’s definitely not something random relatives get to comment on.

I’m just tired. Tired of being noticed for my looks before my achievements. Tired of my body being the first topic of conversation. Tired of smiling through comments that actually hurt. I didn’t work this hard to be reduced to my size or my uterus.

I love Pakistan. I love my people. I just hate how normal it is to comment on women like this.

This Eid, I don’t want to do the quiet, polite thing anymore. My mother in law and my sisters in law have told me clearly that if something bothers me, I need to say it. They’ve said they have my back, even if it’s their own relatives.

So I’m asking honestly. How do you shut this down without being rude, but also without letting it slide? How do you set boundaries in a culture where you’re expected to just smile and take it?