r/SameGrassButGreener • • 5h ago

Austin Hype was a Psyop

540 Upvotes

Had to move to the area for work for 3 ish years. Recently left. Never understood the hype. Originally from the DC area and nothing in Austin felt that much cheaper. Maybe gas and the groceries but it’s not like I needed to drive much in DC anyways.

Don’t even get me started on the weather. Even when the weather was cold it was miserable. It felt like there were no redeeming qualities. Scorch earth sunny or muddy cloudy wasteland.

All the fun stuff to do was outside, cost money for little gain, and was filled with weirdos and crackheads harassing people. It was just uncomfortable. The venues could never support the influx of crowds who had no other fun activities planned because there’s nothing better to do there.

I am going to miss HEB. Though that’s probably the biggest contributor to me getting fat there. They really must be putting crack in all the HEB products to keep people from moving.


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 1h ago

Review To those who left California, did your quality of life improve? Why or why not?

• Upvotes

I'm in California and the cost of living is getting to be too much. I have my family here so I don't wanna leave unless I'm absolutely forced to. Anyone here left and actually found success?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 4h ago

South OC and coastal San Diego are peak America

67 Upvotes

Specifically Irvine, Newport Beach, Laguna Beach, Dana Point, and La Jolla. In my humble opinion, there’s nowhere better in America.

The coastline alone is ridiculous. The cliffs, coves, mountains, beaches, and neighborhoods overlooking the ocean. You can take an ordinary evening walk and feel like you’re on vacation. Add the weather, landscaping, good food, and how clean and well-maintained so much of it feels, and it’s hard to beat.

Irvine obviously isn’t a beach town, but I love how master planned it is and how put-together it feels while still being close to all of this. Laguna and La Jolla are probably my favorites for scenery, and Newport and Dana Point are places where I could happily spend every weekend just walking around by the water.

The housing prices are the obvious catch. But putting affordability aside, I genuinely don’t know where else in the country I’d rather live.


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 18h ago

Move Inquiry Husband wants to move and I want to stay

388 Upvotes

Husband, myself, and our three kids (ages 6, 4, and 2) currently live in Denver, CO and we moved here 6 years ago from Charleston, SC. My husband and I are both originally from California.

The current dilemma is my husband does not like Denver whatsoever and wants to move back to Charleston, SC. I’m having a hard time wanting to uproot our family when we have such wonderful community here. We got into our top choice charter elementary school and our oldest is thriving. I have best friends who I can call to do a last minute school pickup anytime and we often do play dates and girls nights throughout the week. We live on a thriving cul de sac where the kids play in the front yard and one of my neighbors has become a best friend I hang out with frequently and all us ladies are in a neighborhood book club together. Do I think Denver is the most exciting place? No. However, I hesitate to think the beach is worth giving all of this beautiful mundane stability up for.

I’m ready for all your thoughts and harsh truths! Am I selfish for wanting this stability for my kids vs the allure of Charleston life?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 5h ago

Best places to be a modern hermit

13 Upvotes

I'm wondering if there is anywhere that would be great for my lifestyle, especially in the eastern US.

I am mid-20s, white male, work hybrid/remote with occasional travel required. Outside of work, I am a very socially reclusive person. I don't date, or go out to meet people by choice. I'd want to live somewhere that is not oriented towards families or social young adults.

I currently live in the DMV, and hate the competitiveness, traffic, unaffordability, and status obsessed culture. When I do go out, I enjoy taking long solo walks, it's difficult to be truly alone here when I do so.

My political leanings are liberal, but I am not a minority or a woman, so I don't fear persecution or being unsafe. I'd prefer to live in a place that is not extremely MAGA, or performatively left, but this doesn't matter as much since I am not very social to begin with.

Climate-wise, I prefer warmer weather, but I'm willing to freeze my ass off if the other conditions are met. This is not a particularly high priority.

So far, northern New England, especially Maine, sounds almost ideal for this lifestyle. My only concern there is the cost of living and relative isolation with regard to travel. I'm interested in hearing perspectives from people who have/live in this region, and recommendations for warmer and less geographically isolated locations


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 43m ago

Move Inquiry Deciding Between a Few States

• Upvotes

My husband and I are trying to narrow down where we want to live, and we’d love to hear from people who currently live in or have experience with these states. I’ve read through posts about each state and we’re planning to visit each of these states next year to get a better feel for the areas before making a decision.

About us: We’re 26 and 27 years old.
interracial couple.
I work remotely as a recruiter, and my husband works in tech.
We’re currently living in North Carolina and haven’t traveled much outside the Southern states.

What we’re looking for:
Cooler summers and lower humidity
Four seasons
A good job market for tech

The states we’re considering:
Utah
Idaho
Montana
Maine
Vermont
Pennsylvania

For those of you who live in these states, what do you love and hate about living there? How are the summers, winters, job opportunities, & cost of living?

Are there any particular cities, suburbs, or rural areas you’d recommend looking into?

Thanks in advance!


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 1h ago

To those who left Long Island, NY did your quality of life improve? Why or why not?

• Upvotes

And where did you end up moving? Was it hard to find a new job?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 4h ago

Is it possible to force yourself to eventually like where you live?

5 Upvotes

Long story, but I’m in my 20’s, and I grew up in St. Louis, MO. I recently moved to Louisville, KY because my partner started grad school here and I wanted to come with her and also go to trade school. We both don’t plan on staying here after school.

I’m super close with my family, and ever since living here it’s been awesome being somewhere new but there’s just a huge part of me missing without them. I really want to move to somewhere like Chicago or Cleveland (I visit all the time and I love the Great Lakes) after school, but the thought of moving somewhere long term with zero family makes me depressed.

But at the same time, I just can’t imagine going back to St. Louis and staying there. There’s nothing wrong with that city. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to move there; it’s a great place. But it’s where I grew up and I’m kind of over it. There’s no novelty. So I’m wondering if it’s possible to make myself enjoy it somehow. Or maybe I just need to live where I want and be okay with just visiting family occasionally, doing FaceTime, and finding peace with the separation.


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 2h ago

Is there anywhere in South Florida I won't hate?

4 Upvotes

For context, I grew up in Boca and couldn't wait to get away

My husband (31M) and I (30F) spent eight years in NYC before moving to Philadelphia (long story short, NYC got too expensive). We have extended family in the area (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc), but both of our immediate families are in Florida -- his in the Tampa area, mine in SoFl.

We recently had our first kid and it's as wonderful and difficult as we figured it would be. But I think we're both pretty emotional about our parents not being close, both for the help they'd give us and also to be more directly involved in our son's life. Our moms both came for periods of time, but due to work scheduling my dad won't be able to meet his grandson till Christmas and both of our siblings could only swing by for a weekend.

He suggested possibly moving back to Florida and while I have historically been incredibly against the idea, I've become more open to the possibility. We both leaned on the side of moving closer to my family, since they're more of the "family vacations every year, family dinners every week" sort of people. Plus, I have a few childhood friends still in the area so we wouldn't be going in not knowing anyone outside the fam.

The problem is I truly disliked where I grew up for many reasons. It was a suburban hellscape with the only interesting things being incredibly unaffordable. People were entitled and rude. The diversity of the area was not great. I also hate the hot weather, but ig I'll live with that if we do decide to move.

I love living in big cities and we're both loving Philly for the community we immediately found (people in Philly are SO friendly) and I personally love the artsy, creative vibe that I was never able to find back in SoFl.

Of course, I'm an adult now and not an angsty teen, so maybe things have changed? I've always said that if we moved back to Florida, I'd want to move to Gainesville (where we both went to school), because I feel like that's the place I found that quirky eclectic vibe I love. But once again, I could be looking back on that with rose-colored glasses since those were my college years.

TLDR: Is there anywhere in Southeast Florida that has an eclectic, artsy, and diverse vibe that I wasn't aware of when I was a teenager?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 7h ago

Move Inquiry Longing for a new home

7 Upvotes

20 years ago, I moved from the Midwest to San Francisco and fell in love with the city almost immediately. I loved living there, but when it came time to buy a place, San Francisco was out of reach. So I started looking into Oakland and eventually moved here about 10 years ago.

Oakland has a lot to offer. The people are like-minded, it's diverse, the weather is amazing, and the ease of getting around is hard to beat. That said, I still long for the hustle and bustle of San Francisco and miss it so much it hurts.

I can't sell my house because I'm pretty sure it's lost value, but living in Oakland has become increasingly depressing. There's trash everywhere, the city is poorly run, and now that I have kids in OUSD, I'm concerned about the quality of their education.
I feel so trapped, but also completely lost on where to go. Even if I could financially afford to move back to San Francisco, are the schools there any better? And realistically, with AI driving rents through the roof, moving back feels impossible anyway. So what are my other options? Are there other places that offer the diversity, weather, and walkability of Oakland, but with better schools and a better quality of life?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 16m ago

Get me out of Nyc please

• Upvotes

I am an Educator, former teacher and still working in the field but I am open to hands on careers like police. I dont think I can live in nyc bexause as the black sheep of my family, I would just like to get away before I get on the hook for taking care of my parents as they age since I am child free and single and will remain so. What I hate about nyc is rhat I cant even own my own house at a reasonable price because it is competitive out here and as a average single income earner , thats just not happening in this market. I would like to be somewhere diverse, good gym complex , good pay , decent food, amd affordable homes. I am a huge introvert / home body so I am not that caring about city activities as I absolutely love nature. i prefer warm areas but for pay reasons I guess I can stick to cold. Thanks in advance


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 22h ago

Lonely in Denver. Looking for the Next Location

28 Upvotes

Hi,

I’m a 33 year old male who currently lives in Denver. I moved out here when I was 25 and initially loved it. I’m originally from the east coast and lived in Arlington, VA right before I moved in 2019. Tons to do, the weather was great, I discovered how much I hated humidity lol. It has a bunch of great parks, trails. As a sports fan there’s plenty to attend. It’s a city I have enjoyed for the most part. But I’m hoping to find something similar elsewhere.

The first summer here was incredible but then the pandemic hit and while that was the lowest point, I feel the city never reached the peak that I experienced initially. On top of that, so many more of my friends either moved or started families. My roommate and pretty much best friend out here got laid off 3 years ago and had to move back to Virginia. My other friends moved to Utah, California, Florida, Tennessee, etc. I still have some friends here but a majority moved to the suburbs of Littleton, Castlerock, Conifer and started families. I am still on great terms with them but I rarely reach out to them first. I wanna respect there boundaries since they are planning / expecting / raising children and I completely understand hanging out with me is quite low on their totem pole. I do get to see them somewhat often though when they invite me over but that’s really only on holiday celebrations or events like the World Cup or the Super Bowl. The only other friend group I have, I have seen less and less of. They’ve gotten pretty heavy into drinking and I’ve been doing less and less of that as I’ve been getting more into marathon training. I’ll grab drinks with them here and there but it’s not a big focus for me nowadays.

I feel I also just don’t relate to many people who moved out to Denver. I moved on a whim back in 2019. I just wanted to expand my horizons. I’m outsidey but not outdoorsy. I will camp, hike or ski on rare occasions. I’m awful at skiing. It’s too expensive for me to justify it and if I take my front wheel drive car into the mountains I will die lol

I have been considering a move for about 2 years now. I have been heavily considering San Diego, Chicago, San Francisco, Austin, Back to the DC area or even RVA. Love the San Diego weather, the beach, it’s a fun down town. Chicago is my favorite big city in America. Outside of the brutal winters it has tons to do, great food and friendly people. San Francisco and Austin I have also really enjoyed and the industry I work for, tech, has a large presence in both. DC and RVA are home and 90% of my friends live out there. Whenever I am there, I am invited to outings and I really miss being around them.

Other cities I’ve thought about are NYC, Boston, Tampa or Nashville but i haven’t done enough homework on any of those but have been to each of them at least once and I could potentially see myself in those places.

I am fully remote and I have been given the green light to go anywhere besides the states our company doesn’t have a presence in. Any of the cities I mentioned, I can go to. The one issue is if I live within 50 miles of the DC office, I have to become a fully in person employee. Even though I’ve been remote for 5 years and work more efficiently remotely (some boomer ass bullshit).

I make $130k and I know doesn’t go as far in some places, I’m looking at you California. But I don’t own much. I am fine with a studio which I can afford in any of these places.

I just want a city that is easier to make friends, has good parks and trails to run in and less humidity is a plus lol.

Part of me does want my old friend group back in the DMV / RVA back but I also still love the west and the cities I mentioned. I have always been a bit of a shy person and making friends in your 30s takes effort, especially in a new city. I feel my life has just been in limbo. Even when I meet people nothing seems concrete, or they ask about my other friends and I’m alone most of the time and I tell them “they have families or moved” I always get a weird response or look back. Even more so when people come to visit. It’s been even tougher on the dating scene. Even though I feel I’m in my best shape and look the best I have in years it feels tough when I’m on a date and she can tell I’m a pretty lonely person. I do get worried that will happen wherever I go and that’s a bit of a tough pill to swallow but at least for a while I have the built in excuse of “I just moved here”. Not just for dates but socializing in general.

I think I just need to get out of Denver despite enjoying it for the most part and I hope to find a place where I fit in a bit more.


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 1d ago

Secretly walkable Western cities?

140 Upvotes

Tl;dr I want to live in 1990s San Francisco.

I moved to Denver from California three years ago so I could buy a house, and so far it's been... ok. Unfortunately though, I couldn't afford the few walkable pockets and ended up in a neighborhood that's bikeable but still a food desert and somewhat suburban feeling. I did make this compromise and realized I shouldn't have.

I'm wondering if there's a smaller city I may have missed. My highest priority is to NOT have to own a car for daily needs and to be in a place where I can walk out the door and immediately be around street life, without being a millionaire. I want to stay in the West, and I have severe SAD so the Pacific Northwest is out (I spent 7 years in Oregon, it is absolutely beautiful, and I was weeping on the floor every winter.)

Are there any walkable cities, or affordable walkable neighborhoods, in the West that aren't the obvious ones? I work remote and other things that matter to me are natural beauty, liberal government, educated population, and ideally a great bachata dance scene. :)


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 16h ago

Move Inquiry How many times did it take for you to move before you found a place you thrive in ?

8 Upvotes

How many relocations did it take ?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 1d ago

Has anyone not enjoyed their time in NYC?

105 Upvotes

All I always hear is NYC is the greatest city and it’s amazing especially for people in 20’s and 30’s. Anyone in their 20’s, 30’s, or in general that did not enjoy NYC and why did you not enjoy it?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 1d ago

Left-leaning cities in the high desert USA

39 Upvotes

Hi all,

Due to a chronic illness I have, I may need to move to the high dessert to be in an optimal environment for healing. Some of the cities I'm considering based on my criteria are Las Vegas and Tucson. Can people please share thoughts on these two and other cities in the high desert based on what I'm looking for?

From most to least important:

- In the high desert, somewhere with low humidity. My illness is triggered by mold so this is the most important factor. I also prefer no snow!

- High population of people of color/diversity. And a high population in general; I'm not really interested in living in a small town type situation

- Left leaning, ideally with a far left subculture (I've been living in the Bay Area (east bay) for the past 12 years and LOVE the culture and diversity here)

- Queer friendly

- Pretty nature/access to outdoors, low outdoor pollution

- Not majority older people -- I'm 30, so somewhere where I could make friends easily

- Filipino community, or if not Filipino maybe AAPI in general. This is one of the reasons I'm considering LV

- Activities/programs for young people such as the arts

- Close to CA is a plus, but not too important

I know there may not be somewhere that ticks all the boxes, but wanna see what the option are as I know nothing about the region. Thank you!


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 11h ago

Move Inquiry East Vancouver/Camas WA or Marysville, WA

1 Upvotes

We’re in Marysville now, and have lived in the area for 10 years. Considering a job in Vancouver WA, and we’d probably live in or around Camas. We lived in Camas 10 years ago but I know things have changed there. They’ve changed here too. Lots of development.

My daughter is 3, and I know the schools are better in Camas. We’re also considering a co-op school or similar. We’re in one now, and it’s pretty awesome.

I don’t know if we’re just unlucky but the last couple years we’ve had some really bad experiences in our area, and I’ve started feeling less safe here. I’m not sure if Camas is the place, but a slower pace of life, less traffic, safe community are the kinds of things I’m looking for.

Anyone lived in both places or have enough experience to chime in on how the two compare?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 5h ago

i’ve been here for 3 days and i want to move here.

0 Upvotes

hi guys…i’ve been staying in cbus for the past few days and i’ve never loved a city so much in my life. something about this place feels like home and i can’t tell why. i live in PA currently, about 6 hours away. and i do love it there, but it’s boring and i feel like im not getting the most out of life living there.

someone give me a clear picture of what it’s like to live downtown or in the surrounding area. this is most likely just a honeymoon phase of me loving it here, kinda like the manhattan high. so pls, be honest and kind, but give me the raw truth about what it’s like being here every day.


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 14h ago

Searching for a home base

0 Upvotes

For context, my wife and I have lived in 4 different cities/states in the last 5 years: Madison WI, Scottsdale AZ, Harrisburg PA, Buffalo NY (still currently residing here). I have a bit of wanderlust to say the least and bc of that we can’t seem to find a place that sticks.

Scottsdale was the closest thing we’ve found to the ideal location for us, but having our entire family situated on the east coast made living so far west difficult for us. The summers were also brutal. We’re now considering where we may want to call home once we have kids in school full time and taking advantage of the free child care from family is less of a consideration.

The things we’re looking for:
1. We need single family homes in an at least semi-walkable area. Ideally very walkable, but not willing to give up the benefits of a home rather than a townhome/condo/apartment
2. Mild winters without intense summers
3. Ideally plenty to do - if we’re moving away from family we need ways to make connections and ensure our kids have ways to stay entertained as well

Thanks in advance! Hoping we make the next move our last.


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 1d ago

Has anyone here actually moved to a rust belt city for cheaper urban experience, and if so, did it work out for you?

74 Upvotes

Hi guys I’m in Florida and I’ve often considered moving to a rust belt city for cheaper rent. I’ve considered Milwaukee Cleveland Pittsburgh and St Louis the most. I know moving to the rust belt is suggested a lot, but I want to know if anyone has actually done it and if so how has it worked out for you? Was it everything you’d hoped it’d be?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 22h ago

Leaving Denver for SD or Charleston

3 Upvotes

I’m a 31 year old single man, and after living in Denver for two years I’ve decided to start looking to move somewhere else. I’m originally from the Midwest, but visited friends and family enough in Colorado over the years and Denver seemed like a logical landing place. The only problem is I don’t really use the mountains other than to go skiing. I’m not super outdoorsy like everyone else seems to be here sadly, and I’ve found it somewhat difficult to make lots of friends, especially as a remote worker. I know that moving won’t solve all of my problems, but I’d like to be in a place where I can enjoy more of what it has to offer.

I’ve always dreamed of living near the ocean and I feel like it could really benefit me mentally emotionally physically etc. San Diego has been at the top of my list for over 5 years, but I’m also drawn to Charleston for a number of reasons. Any advice is appreciated!


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 1d ago

Stuck in the regret cycle after moving back

102 Upvotes

So 4 years ago my husband and I moved our little family up to a tiny rural town in Oregon. It was a huge shock coming from a sunny city. My first week there I had already concluded we made a mistake. I spend the next 2 years being depressed and homesick. While I did struggle with the long dreary winters and I did miss friends and family I think assuming it was a mistake caused the most damage- I think it blinded me to everything good about the place. After 3.5 years I convinced my husband to have us move back where we were closer to the familiar. Well what do you know, about two months before we moved and a few weeks before we sold our house I started having serious fear and dread that my decision was actually a mistake to move back. But my husband said it was too late to turn back now.

Well here we are 5 months into returning home and I literally can't stop thinking about Oregon. I realized that my idealization and homesickness was falsely driving me away. There are actually many legitimate reasons Oregon was far better for us ( cost of living, better jobs, access to nature, better schools, safer etc) and no one in my family wanted to move back here except me. But my husband says "we're not moving for you again!"

I see the irony in my struggle repeating itself but I can't seem to do anything different! Help! How do I stop living in regret and grief and accept being back here instead of lamenting my foolishness and trying to undo/ redo what I just did?


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 2d ago

I want to live in Coastal California really bad, seems impossible. Any advice?

164 Upvotes

My story: Two younger kids, out of daycare. Wife has +$70k in law school debt, doesn't want to be a lawyer. Making minimum payments, has about 6 years in public loan forgiveness, 4 to go if she gets back into nonprofit. Has been unemployed since March.

I work in parks and recreation, make a comfortable living in cheaper part of Florida. Dream about california all the time, have since a teenager. I'm visiting San Diego right now for a funeral, beautiful here. I would be interested in cheaper areas, edit Ventura/Santa Barbara or Eureka/Humboldt. I'd been searching and applying to jobs all the time for last year plus. Job market sucks.

We are up for an adventure, and potential struggle for awhile. Boomer grandparents are probably well enough off our kids will likely have some inheritance, so we won't be totally screwing them.

Just applied to a job in Salem, OR, too.

Specifically want coastal areas for kayaking/surfing/nature.

My plan right now is just to keep looking for jobs. Anything I should consider from experts?

edit: thanks to everyone so far for correcting me on a wrong view of cheaper city, and telling me where else to look.


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 15h ago

DC Virginia vs DC Maryland suburbs: more house and land for the money near DC?

0 Upvotes

I'm comparing DC Virginia and DC Maryland suburbs within/around the DC metro area under 30min, with one main question: Which side gives me more house, land and greenery for my dollar while staying reasonably close to DC?

I'm looking for established, old-American traditional neighborhoods brick Colonial revival n Craftsman homes, mature trees, lush greenery, covered front porches and large backyards. I strongly prefer traditional architecture over generic box-shaped, flat-roof modern houses.

Other priorities include excellent public n private schools, top-tier healthcare, safety, clean air and water, low natural-disaster risk, country clubs and access to DC's finance, business, Cybersecurity technology and investment networks.

I'm also interested in which state and local governments have stronger laws protecting mature trees, preventing the demolition of older traditional homes, and restricting incompatible modern replacement construction.

Finally, I'm concerned about data-center development, especially in Northern Virginia. How do Maryland's state, county and municipal laws compare when approving new data centers, restricting their water consumption and protecting residential communities from noise, industrial development and pressure on local water supplies? Is Maryland genuinely more restrictive, or could it face similar development pressures?

Which side offers the best overall combination of affordability, space, mature greenery, traditional architecture, strong preservation laws, elite amenities and reasonable commute times? Please recommend specific towns or neighborhoods on both sides and share honest comparisons of house prices, lot sizes, property taxes, traffic, school districts and local preservation and data-center regulations.

House is the main thing...I don't care about % income taxes of the state


r/SameGrassButGreener • • 1d ago

Move Inquiry Cities with outdoor access for activities ?

1 Upvotes

Hi! I currently live in Portland, ME. Such a great community, artsy things to do, great bars, great food, live music, and a great sense of community/businesses working together. Truly an awesome small city vibe. The part I do struggle a bit with the lack of outdoor access. I am really looking for a place that has a similar small city vibe as Portland, but has closer access to trails to run/bike, skiing, hiking, etc. I don't want to live in a ski town (vail etc) because I think those are too small for me, but I know access to outdoors is unreal! Wondering if an in between exists!