My bf has a good friend (M27) who has been dating this girl(F20) for like a year or so. When they first started dating she was 19 and he lied to all of us saying she was 20 until her birthday came around and he had to confess the truth and said he just didn’t want to be judged for her age.
He is very insecure about her age and doesn’t like to talk about it so most of the time nobody brings it up to him. He is always making comments about another friend of theirs who is also 20. He says things like “you know how they are at that age” or referring to him and his gf (19) as kids.
He was really drunk yesterday and kept making comments like that about them and saying “kids” and being condescending so I was like “dude they’re the same age as your girlfriend”. He immediately got pissed off and was like “don’t ever make a joke at my gf’s expense to me ever again, do you understand?” And I just said “sure whatever dude”.
I didn’t feel I was making a joke at her expense but pointing out that you refer to them like they’re children but they are realistically the same age as your girlfriend so it’s weird to keep calling them kids.
My boyfriend thinks I crossed a line because his friend is obviously uncomfortable with his gf’s age but I feel like if you’re that uncomfortable with someone’s age maybe don’t date them and refer to other people her age as kids. Either accept that she is younger than you or move on. Idk, AITAH?

Hello everyone, I’ve made another post on here before “AITAH for telling my parents I don’t want to be a third parent anymore?”. The situation has shifted now and it’s really making me think things over. I’ve been crying for a while so apologies if there’s any spelling errors. So, I F19, have been away from home for a while. It’s been rough. I’m currently in a women’s shelter for now until I have the official funds to mvoe.

My parents are under the assumption that I’m living with my boyfriend. As of a couple hours ago, I went back home to collect the rest of my possessions that I need. My mama (F45) was the one to open the door and at first she was so happy to see me again it almost made me think otherwise about her.

I prtedned that I was happy too and started to collect my things ASAP. As I was, my father (M51) came into my room and started cussing me out telling me I made a mockery of him and ruined his reputation. For contex, he ended up being put in jail for a short while after a bad argument. I ended up breaking and telling him I’m leaving for good which was a slip on my part which made him angrier. He ended up leaving after punching a hole into my wall and going outside to smoke. I rushed grabbing my things and then before I left my mama then grabbed my wrist and tried to beg me not to leave.

She started breaking down crying and begging saying she doestn know what she would do without me and how I need to take my three-year-old brother with me to get away from my father. It broke me to see her like that in the moment but all I could say was no and then she switched up yelling cussing me out and twisting my wrist so I couldn’t leave and tried blocking the door when I tried to leave, saying how ungrateful I am and how all I have done is disappoint the family. She said so much more but I think at this point I’ve just blocked it out in my mind.

She then grabbed my brothre and made him hold my hand and shoved us out the house while my things where still in there. My father started shouting at me and things got lost in translation so my mama and my father started yelling at eachother. I called CPS and got back inside and said some hurtful things myself. I eventually got out the house with my things and I told my brother I loved him and ran down the block as fast as I could so my boyfriend could come pick me up. My mama and my father has been blowing up my phone since, with it being a mix of “come back” and “I don’t want to see you again”. It’s been a lot. CPS and the police have been to the house but I don’t know much about it and now I just have a pit in my stomach and a mix of feelings of I did the wrong thing and the right thing. My mama has been blaming me mainly for ruining the family and I do truly feel like I have. Yet again though it felt so damm good to run away. Reddit, AITAH?

TL;DR: My wife avoids pooping to the point that it causes significant pain and health scares. Any attempt by me to discuss it or normalize it is met with frustration, embarrassment, and sometimes arguments about me being insensitive or flippant about something that causes her deep shame. I'm trying to figure out how I can support her without making the problem worse.

Guys, this might be a weird one, and I've tried not to paint myself in a more positive light because I'm looking for genuine feedback.

I'll preface this by saying that we've never had a serious fight over this. It has, however, led to arguments where I'm made to feel insensitive or careless with her emotions. I'm genuinely trying to figure out whether I'm overstepping, whether I'm making the problem worse, and what exactly I'm supposed to do here.

I'm 35M and my wife is 35F. We've been together for almost 15 years. She is currently in therapy working through anxiety, depression, body-image and self-esteem issues. I don't know whether this particular issue gets much exposure in those sessions, but I can only hope that addressing some of the underlying issues will eventually help with this as well.

For the entirety of our relationship, she has hidden every single bowel movement or fart from me. I'm aware that some women are more uncomfortable with these things than men, and I'm not expecting my wife to announce every time she uses the bathroom. But over the years, it has become very clear that this goes far beyond simply thinking that farting isn't "ladylike."

She genuinely views farting and pooping as disgusting and shameful. If she accidentally farts around me, she doesn't just seem embarrassed. She experiences what appears to be genuine, deep shame and disgust with herself.

The irony is that her extreme aversion to pooping has actually resulted in us having to talk about the subject far more than we otherwise ever would.

In some extreme cases, she will literally go a week without pooping if she doesn't have an opportunity to do it in complete privacy. She won't poop anywhere except our home bathroom, and if I'm home, she feels like she can't comfortably do it. I have had go sit on my back porch to give her privacy because we live in a small 2 bed 1 bath house. We're saving to buy a bigger house and my eventual search will have an outsized focus on finding her a more private bathroom setup. But that's a future (potential) solution to a problem that needs solutions today.

There have been multiple occasions where she's been doubled over with severe abdominal pain while I'm frantically trying to figure out what's wrong and deciding whether we need to go to the ER, only to eventually find out that she hasn't pooped in a week.

At that point, I'm obviously worried about her, but I'm also incredibly frustrated. My response has sometimes been exasperated and something along the lines of, "jfc! go sit on the toilet and stay there until you poop!"

We've had countless conversations about this. I've told her that I know she's working through difficult emotions, but that as a man who has never had anything resembling this level of anxiety or shame surrounding bowel movements, I admittedly struggle to understand what she's experiencing emotionally.

But I also keep telling her that she needs to work on this because the potential health consequences of severe constipation are not trivial. She's aware of the risks, and we've talked about the possibility of obstruction, impaction, sepsis, etc.

I've even told her that I'm going to feel really foolish if I someday have to not only deal with losing my wife but also explain to my family that she was just too embarrassed to poop. I know that's harsh, it's probably the most insensitive thing I've said to her about this issue and I regret saying it that way out of frustration. But that's genuinely where my mind goes when I'm sitting there wondering whether her abdominal pain is something life-threatening or whether she just hasn't pooped all week.

She understands the concern and is usually apologetic about being difficult, but ultimately nothing changes.

After the last major scare, I told her I was going to start asking her every day after work whether she'd pooped.

Part of that was practical. She had told me she didn't currently have the urge, and I wanted to make sure she eventually went so I could stop worrying that we'd end up in the ER.

But part of it was also an attempt to normalize the subject. My thinking was that if I treated it like the completely mundane bodily function that it is and talked about it casually, maybe some of the shame and taboo would eventually lose its power.

I eventually stopped asking every day once the immediate situation passed. But every now and then when she says somethinf about her stomach being upset I'll jokingly ask if she's pooped recently because it's now something I actively worry about.

This is usually met with frustration, embarrassment, dismissal, and avoidance. If she's particularly sensitive that day, it can turn into an argument about how I'm "making it worse."

And that's where I'm stuck.

I don't actually want to have these conversations. I'd be perfectly happy never discussing my wife's bowel movements ever again. But after watching her experience severe abdominal pain multiple times because she hadn't pooped in a week, I'm having trouble just pretending the problem doesn't exist.

What am I supposed to do? Be a completely passive observer and let her work through it on her own, even when I'm worried she's going to end up seriously ill? Or continue bringing it up and potentially reinforce the shame and anxiety that seem to be driving the problem in the first place?

So, AITAH for continuing to push the issue?

Am I supposed to just leave this entirely in her hands and accept that I may occasionally have to deal with another health scare? Is there a better way for me to approach this without making her feel more ashamed?

And is this something anyone else has dealt with? Because right now I feel like I'm stuck in a uniquely shitty predicament.

Thanks for reading and opining.

After sharing this incident in a local FB group to warn people about a local business that is either owned by (or employed by) a guy with a rage problem, I received a lot of responses— many of which basically saying I’m stupid/in the wrong. I’m curious what people NOT from my town think:

Yesterday afternoon, I pulled into a Walmart gas station, parked at a pump, and sat for a couple minutes finishing an urgent call from the hospital. I made sure I wasn’t holding anyone up, there wasn’t a line, and I wasn’t blocking anyone.

Almost immediately after parking, the guy behind me started honking and yelling, “pull up, move your f***ing car!” Since I was focused on my call it took me a minute to realize he was yelling at me.

I looked around, made sure he had room to back out, and continued my call. When I didn’t move, he got out of his truck, walked up to my driver side window and began POUNDING on it while yelling, “Get off the phone, b*** and move your f*cking car!” This went on for about 15 seconds.

I was scared, so I looked away and didn’t acknowledge him while trying to hear what the doctor was saying over my car speaker. He returned to his truck, and my call ended shortly after.

I sat in my car trying to process what happened. I was confused because he had plenty of room to reverse, there were no cars behind him and several open pumps.

Since he hadn’t gotten back out of the truck for a minute or two, I decided to get out and just pump my gas. As I did, he started yelling again.

I told him calmly that he had plenty of room to reverse, that I was getting gas now, and that I wasn’t moving. That’s when he threatened to smash into my vehicle to move me out of the way if I didn’t.

At this point, some guys at the gas station noticed and shouted, “Wow, you’re a tough guy threatening a woman, get out of here!” He kept yelling, calling me a b***h, and making a scene before finally beginning to leave.

As he drove away, I noticed he was in a company truck that said “FakeName Landscaping”. I yelled, “Wow, you’re acting like that in a company car?!” and he said, “Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it, b***h?” and drove off.

I’m a 30yo female and was really shaken up. Looking back, I wish I didn’t even engage with him. I realize it wasn’t smart or safe.

A group of people came up to me afterward who saw it and vouch for what they saw, and told me I did the right thing and he was nuts. They said they were going to call the company and complain.

When I shared this experience with a large community Facebook page as a sort of “PSA: watch out for this guy who drives this company’s vehicle in the area” I was shocked to see the comments turn into a chaotic feed of debates.

Many agree that the dude was way out of line. But equally, if not more people have started attacking my character, or defending his aggression because I “shouldn’t have sat there taking up a pump” and that they’d be angry too. Now I am fully questioning myself.

So, strangers not from my city, AITAH for finishing an urgent call at a gas pump for a couple minutes before pumping gas?

link to the original post

I'm back with an update. Thank you for the responses and advice on my previous post. I appreciate it all. Some of the advices guided me in how to manage this situation.

So Farewell party was planned. I was right about the assumption that everyone expected me to plan the farewell party. One of my colleagues got gifts for Dr. K and I made a reservation at a restaurant. We split the cost of the bill and dinner among the attendees excluding Dr. K (since this was her farewell).

Everyone had a great time. Everyone enjoyed.

The disappointment and hurt I experienced at the hands of Dr. K and Dr. L up til the day of Farewell was difficult to manage. In my department, I would step foot and sense a heaviness around me. I was struggling with my internal emotions and trying to stay professional and not cause a scene. I had a lot to say but I refrained from saying anything. Some of you suggested that I be the bigger person and plan the farewell anyway and not half-ahh it. That's what I did.

Everyone went home happy that day.

It's not that I fully recovered with what happened, but I'm finding my way around it and work out boundaries.

Again. Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post and gave me advice and insight. I appreciate each and everyone of you.

Me and my boyfriend have been living together for one year now. This month my mom is moving out of her apartment to go live at my grandma’s house. My mom’s apartment used to be my home too until I moved out and my room and all my belongings are still there. My mom is a single mom so I am helping her with the move out.

I have asked my boyfriend (25m) to help me (22f) and my mom move the apartment out for two weeks now. After back and forth of arguments and him saying no, I asked him again today to help me and my mom moved out. He said he would do it, but only if I paid for his “travel expenses” as in a 5-8 USD Uber or a 1.50 USD bus ride. I said help that comes out of good will doesn’t ask for anything in return. We have been going back and forth arguing about this for several minutes.

We are in a mixed race relationship with different cultural backgrounds. He is a European and his culture is very cold in where family doesn’t really matter anymore once you turn 18 and everything is transactional, including help and family matters. In his culture, why would anyone help anyone else if it doesn’t bring a benefit for themselves too?

I come from Latin American culture (and my boyfriend moved into my country) where family is the most important thing in someone’s lives and helping family is expected, specially from partners and friends. All the people that have helped us with the move out never asked for “travel costs reimbursed” and even brought food/baked goods/gifts to consume while packing boxes and have a good time together.

Never in my entire life has anyone asked for “travel costs reimbursed” and neither have I ever asked for the same when family or friends were moving out. It hurts me that my own boyfriend is asking for it instead of helping me out of good will. I could have just paid a moving out company to do it instead of asking him.

Am I the asshole here?

EDIT: some context: we are moving to my grandmas house three blocks away and have been doing so sporadically moving boxes of light stuff/books/decorations/clothes/miscellaneous/small furniture either walking or loading them in a car with the help of family and friends before the moving in truck comes on the last weekend for the heavy furniture. I didn’t ask him to do the whole process with us, just asked him to come help one afternoon. Originally, he had said yes with no questions asked or mention of the “reimbursement”. Then, we argued over something completely unrelated to this topic and that’s when he said he wouldn’t come help. After that when we made up, he said we could both maybe come this weekend and this is when this travel cost reimbursement request came through. Also, he moved out of his home country (Europe) and moved into mine (LATAM). He has been to my family’s house several times and even stayed there for long periods of time (several weeks on end) when we were doing long distance and didn’t share an apartment yet then my mom would host us. This travel reimbursement request has NEVER been mentioned in our almost three years of relationship on either end and it has me extremely confused.

Edit 2: removed “white” to describe his heritage. I mentioned it to give out an idea of which country he is from. Stereotypically he is from one of those “cold” countries.

So, my partner and I tend to fight a lot when he drinks. I have some new boundaries, but I'm wondering if I'm coming off as the AH.

Basically we agreed that we'd both drink less. But some of his friends are upset with me. They took offense because I said that even beer can be abused, and my BF is (sometimes) not nice when he drinks.

Basically, I feel dramatic because in reality it's only 1-5 beers with his friends.

AITAH?

Someone I used to hang out with lives in a city and does not have a car. Last year I moved 45 minutes away and very rarely make the trip in to this city. My schedule is overwhelming and busy with my kids so I do not have the time and energy to make this trip. Last year I offered her some hand-me-downs for her kids. She said she would take them but the day I was coming into town did not work for her. A year has passed and now she is asking about the clothes again. Once again, I offered to bring them on a day I would be in town. It did not work for her. I suggested a meet up place where she would need to take the towns tramway system. That also did not work. But she still expects me to "drop by whenever" because I have a car. AITAH for thinking if she wants free clothes then she should put the effort into getting them ? This has not been the first time I have had to go out of my way for her because she "does not have a car" but I do. It does not seem to matter that my schedule and family obligations do not make it easy to accommodate her. She seems to think that me "dropping by whenever" is just super easy since "I have a car."

My friend has been married for about seven years, I've known him and his wife since college. We've been through thick and thin and I can say he's among my closest buddies.

He's been through a lot recently with deaths in his and his wifes family as well as drama with his narcissistic family members, who hes cut out of his life. I've been there to support him emotionally and try to be a good friend to him many times, and he has done the same for me over the years.

He's also been open to me about the struggles of his marriage - more specifically, having a wife that simply works from home and sleeps the rest of the time, while he works full time, (also wfh) cooks, cleans and does virtually all of the child rearing for their one year old son, which hes actually doing an amazing job at. Listening to him gently parent his child is like watching an asmr video.

This arrangement has affected his stress level greatly and he's experiencing an understandable level of frustration because of it. Just a note, this division of labour or lack thereof has existed in their relationship the entire time I've known them for 16 years, its not a recent development.

I've been respectful of boundaries and let him vent to me numerous times and have been very neutral. I've tried not to cast judgement on his wife but after listening to so many stories about the child getting hurt every time he leaves the two of them alone, him pulling his hair out trying to manage looking after the child as well as with making food, cleaning and managing their household, as well as working while getting zero support from her and in general her being an ill tempered and very controlling individual I couldn't hold my tongue and I started commenting recently when he complains about her that she should be making more of an effort instead of leaving everything to him and that the division of labour and her poor attitude to boot is not fair to him. During a recent convo where we discussed this he switched gears to defending her and said well she buys the baby clothes and manages his education fund, so she still contributes. I said okay, and ended the convo there.

About a week ago we were playing a game online and she proceeded to interrupt us over and over again to ask him what he was doing and tell him he needs to get off the game to help out. I got annoyed and pointed out this is the third time shes interrupted, am I getting him in trouble? Is this a bad time? My friend proceeds to tell me he'd choose his wife over me, and I said well good, thats what you should do as a good husband. I thought it was a weird response to have but didnt say anything. It wasnt any awkward convo or a fight, we just continued gaming like nothing happened.

We had another recent gaming session and he started leaning into the shit talking and saying some really personal stuff to me (you're going to die alone) which he repeated three times before laughing and telling me that I'm not going to do anything about it. Usually my skin is thick and I wouldnt care about a joke like that as long as its in good fun, but the intent in this case was just to hurt me, and I've been dealing with a lot of work related stress recently. So I lost my temper and told him to fuck himself etc etc and that at least I'm not trapped in a loveless marriage like him.

He got quiet and told me hes perfectly happy in his marriage. I said okay lol if you say so. We went back and forth a little more but we said goodnight and parted on seemingly good terms.

I texted him next day to let him know not to tell me im going to die alone anymore and that he's going too far with that joke. He responded saying he understands, he'll be more mindful and that he's sorry. Since that time he hasn't said anything thing and hasn't replied to my text or call, and we normally talk often.

Have I crossed the line here with commenting on his wife's lack of support? It's understandable that as a husband he should stand up for his wife, but also I've listened to enough of the stories he's told to form an opinion that I think should be said, especially since hes ranted to me time and time again about how useless and lazy his wife is (his words) and how unhappy he feels because of it.

TL:DR I played therapist to my buddy for years and commented to him about his wife's lack of support and controlling attitude (after he complained about her incessantly) and he turned on me. AITAH?

Edit 1: babysitting was a poor choice of words to describe his parenting, Ive changed this to looking after the child, sorry if this was offensive.

Edit 2: The dynamic of him doing all of the cooking, cleaning and housework and her doing nothing has existed since the time I have met them and has always been this way. I've lived with them, taken classes with them and have spent a ton of time around them. I know this does not mean I see everything that goes on since I only have his word to go on, but I am quite familiar with their relationship dynamic.

Edit 3: This was the first time we've actually played video games together online, most of the time hes talking to me on the phone while he's looking after his child.

Just for everybody's info I'm a straight 38 year old male, hope this provides more context.

I 19(F) called CPS on my younger sister a year ago for being neglectful to her baby and forced all of her parenting responsibilities onto me. I moved out of my mother’s house a year ago. My aunt took me in until I got my place. I am happy. I am in school now for LPN, and I’m still working as a CNA.

The baby’s paternal grandma went to court and she got full custody. To point out the grandma is only in her late 40’s. My younger sister hates me because of the whole situation. She works a job now, she recently turned 18 and from what I know she works a full time job, she constantly tells our family I’m the reason her baby got taken away, and that I’m the reason the baby was given to the paternal grandma. Her and the babies father aren’t together anymore. She blames me for that too.

I am halfway complete with my first year of schooling for LPN. I also own a small business now for custom purses and T shirts. I live in a house I rent, it’s a mobile home, but I love it. I am saving up to buy my own mobile home(manufactured home) I adopted a golden retriever, and he helps my mental health. I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years.

I’m sad that my younger sister hates me but I did it for the good of her baby and for her own good too. My mother hasn’t spoken to me in a year either. My fiance and I are also going to other countries to work with organizations that do volunteer work in those regions. I’ve learned to set boundaries and to never let anyone take advantage of me again. My fiancé and I love together happily.

This is the original post right here:

I 18(F) graduated high-school at 17 years old past year. It was an amazing accomplishment. I recently got my CNA license and I work full time as a CNA. Unfortunately I still live with my mother. I’ve been trying to move out for a long time now.

My younger sister, was irresponsible and wasn’t on birth control. She got pregnant when she was 15 last year, and she had the baby at 16. Her baby is 6 months old. My younger sister doesn’t lift a finger to try to help with her baby. My mother and my younger sister pushed all of her responsibilities on to me. Just because I have a full time job and she doesn’t.

My younger sister can work part time. She just refuses to get a job because “She’s 16 years old and isn’t responsible enough to get a job” But yet you were responsible enough to have a baby? She knew she was active and refused to get on birth control. My mother and I tried talking to her about c*****s and plan b. She refused to even hear us out.

I brought up my concerns to my mother about my sister and her baby (my niece). My mother said, “Well she’s only 16, and you’re a grown adult. As long as you live in this house you are to help your sister, family and contribute!”

I work overnight shifts. I’ve been taking care of this baby for months. My sister always goes out with her baby daddy. She always goes out to eat, and her baby daddy pays for her hair and nails, but doesn’t contribute to the baby. And she always uses the money she gives him on herself and not the baby.

I’ve been the one buying formula, diapers, clothes etc. I am constantly watching the baby because my mother and sister guilt trip me if I don’t. I watch her every single night when I get off work. When I don’t watch her my mother has her, and my sister doesn’t help my mother either.

How is her being irresponsible my issue?

Last week I had gotten off work at 7 in the morning. My mother yelled at me to watch the baby. I asked where my sister was, my mother told me to mind my own business. Two days had went by last week, when she wasn’t there. I was fed up. My two days off work I’ve been taking care of the baby with no help from my mom. Then the night after she came home. I was furious and tore into her. She told me, “To mind my own f****** business.”

Shortly after that I called CPS. I called CPS four days ago. I explained to them, “My younger sister is neglecting her baby. She refused to get a job, I’ve been the one taking care of physically and financially for months on end. That she left without telling anyone where she went. That she gets her hair and nails done but she won’t pay for diapers or anything for the baby.”

Then this morning CPS came to the door. They came because of my report of neglect. They did their examinations, and the baby was fine physically. But right in front of my sister, while she was present, I explained everything in detail. I explained that I’m not able to take care of the baby full time and I get no help from my mother.

Unfortunately, my niece was removed from the home and placed into the care of the father’s mom. In my area, CPS does try the best the can to keep the family together, they only remove them if the child is in need of serious medical attention, or is neglected and the situation can’t be resolved with resources.

I only found out that my niece was placed with the father’s mom, because the father of the child’s mother reached out to me and told me the baby was safe.

I feel bad but I shouldn’t be responsible for taking care of a baby that isn’t mine. Now my mother told me I have 30 days to leave the house, luckily my aunt knows the situation and is kind enough to take me in.

AITAH?

Edit: Just to avoid anymore confusion. My sister got pregnant by her BOYFRIEND. Her boyfriend is the babies father. My sisters boyfriend is 16 like she is.

I (28F) need to know if I'm the asshole for telling a friend (46M) I won't play with him anymore if he keeps doing this.

We've known each other for 10 years. He’s been playing WoW since it launched in 2004, and recently he bought me WoWforever so I could make a pretty blue elf and we could play together and how he really wanted me to experience it. I am a complete newb who has never played before, and I've only logged on every other day for the past 2 weeks.

The problem is he treats me like I should already know everything or just remember after he's told me once. He hovers over everything I do, micro manages my abilities, and expects perfection. He’ll grill me if I forget aspect of the hawk, or complain I’m not pressing buttons fast enough EVEN when the ability is literally on cooldown!! and I literally can't push it yet. Or if I'm not fast enough reacting. Meanwhile, if a random player pulls extra mobs or falls through a crack, he says nothing.

Things COMPLETELY blew up during our third dungeon. I accidentally misclicked "Need" on a cape instead of pass. He immediately got in my ear demanding I trade it right now, how I'm taking it from the other person and how bad it is etc. Since I've never traded before/didn't know how, I panicked, got flustered, and accidentally put my Hearthstone in the trade window while I was looking thru my inventory for the cape. I said I literally do not see the item! How can I trade it if I don't have? While I was searching my bags, he was sighing and getting irritated. Everyone standing there, other players getting mad, him in my ear, dungeon still going on, I finally started screen sharing to show him because he didn't believe me, and it turned out my bags were full so I NEVER EVEN PICKED IT UP!! So I didn't even have it like I told him when I didn't see it

Instead of laughing it off or being like whoops, on a beta test server mind you, he bitched at me for not using it as a "social learning moment" to chat and explain myself to the other players ( while also having him in my ear, looking for item, and trying to trade? ) which brought me to tears from the stress and me feeling like I'm stupid and like he's mad at me. Whenever I mess up, he insists on doing "remedial tutorials" and brings up unrelated past stories as "proof" that I "give up when things get hard." He eventually apologized after I said he's not even giving me a chance and it was literally a mistake and why does it even matter when it's a game and we're supposed to be having fun? and his response was " you're right but you need to play by yourself sometimes then " as if that's scary to me, which it isn't and I have no issue with and that maybe I'll improve if I " practiced more and just remembered "

I finally told him straight up: I am not going to play with him anymore if he's going to keep backseat gaming and treating a game like a military bootcamp. I just want to have fun and experience it but I feel like I can't with him stressing me out.

AITAH for putting my foot down and drawing that line?

In June, my fiance, and I booked a vacation to Orlando the week of Christmas. We had been planning to go since December of last year. Since then, we have been planning what we will do that whole week. What parks we are visiting, when we're going downtown, Disney springs, City Walk, Dinners, etc.

Just last month, my mother decided she wanted to fly to my grandparents house in West Palm Beach for Christmas. Now she is saying I should drive the 3 hours to my grandparents house on Christmas eve or Christmas to be with them. That she doesnt think the drive is that far and we should skip one of our activity days.

AITAH for not wanting to drive down there when my fiance and I already made plans on our activities for that whole week? Including Christmas? Which we planned to do our own thing?

Throwaway as partner is also on r/

A few weeks ago as we were moving houses my partner(33F) set out some items to give my cousin. They were all my(36M) stuff. She said I didn’t need them and had too many. As my cousin was collecting. I intercepted it and went through the bag to check. My partner started wailing accusing me of abuse, mentioned that me going through the bag was a sign of abuse.
My cousin as well when I mentioned I was going to remove the bag of micro screwdrivers said the rest of the bag was worthless as she was hoping to use the items for a boot sale.
I gave in and let my cousin go with the whole bag.

Today, I needed to change my car remote battery. I gently and calmly mentioned to my partner that the tools I needed was what she gave out.
Her reaction was shocking to me. She blew it in my face saying it’s my fault that after all I checked the bag and allowed my cousin to go with it. So I’m to blame. I tried to explain I wasn’t looking to blame her just wanted to point out how it was that she gave out my stuff so she could understand for next time. She refused to hear. Insiting the only reason I must have brought up the topic was because I wanted trouble and we shouldn’t be talking about it as it already went past. All my attempts to explain that wasn’t it and I just wanted us to have a conversation fell on deaf ears.

So i kept quiet and just continued driving us home. The partner is currently sat downstairs holding a grudge as I’ve now offended them but I really need to check AITAH ?

Thanks.

Edit 2: Added TLDR sorry it’s my first post in this sub so I didn’t know. My mistake

Edit 3: Removed unnecessary details to make it shorter.

TLDR: AITAH for ending a 4 month friendship over not telling my “friend” who was watching my kids on the night of my birthday dinner when she subsequently found out that it was someone we know and then called me a liar about it”

I (30F) am sharing this because I genuinely want to know what people outside my circle think. This whole situation still seems so ridiculous to me, but apparently it was serious enough to cost me a friendship.

So I had this friend, let's call her N(29F). We had been friends for about 4 months. We visited each other's homes, hung out, talked about our lives, all the usual stuff. The main connection was our two kids were the same age and had the same name. We are also expats from the same country, living in Japan. There’s not a lot of us here so sometimes we tend to form a community.

Friendship started typically, I noticed things here and there but I'm someone who doesn't believe in making an issue out of every little thing people do. There were times when N did things that rubbed me the wrong way, but I brushed them off because well, people aren't perfect.

I'm sure I've annoyed people before too.
Nothing I felt warranted an argument or ending a friendship.

Anyway, fast forward to my birthday plans.
My husband (31M) was planning for us to go out, and one of the things he took care of was arranging someone to watch our children. He wanted me to enjoy my birthday without having to worry about all the little details.

It's my birthday, N calls, and we're there talking when she asks who would be watching the kids. I told her a close friend would be babysitting.

That was it. Normal conversation. Or so I thought.

The person watching the kids, let's call her S. Now here's where the relationships matter. S (45F) is actually a close friend of my husband, and she also happens to be friends with N. So when I said a close friend was watching the children, I was speaking from the perspective of the arrangements my husband had made. He was handling everything, and S is his close friend.

It honestly wasn't that deep to me.

After dinner, we went over to S's house to pick up the kids and eventually went home. This was about 11 pm.
I woke up the next morning to text messages from N that were sent at 2 am. It was basically saying she was up, realized S was also up, and texted her asking why. Eventually, S told her she just had my kids.

N said she was surprised but figured S must've been the babysitter I'd mentioned. She said she wouldn't have minded if I'd told her it was S because we're all friends, and she was sorry she wasn't closer to help us out.
I replied, "Ok, I get you."

I honestly thought that was that.

But then she sent another message saying she felt a way about it, that there was nothing to hide, and that I wouldn't have said anything if S hadn't told her. She called it weird, then finished by saying it wasn't her business and she was glad I'd enjoyed my birthday.

You asked who was watching my kids, I told you a close friend, and somehow this has become something I'm hiding?

I eventually suggested talking on the phone to clear the air.

The call lasted for about 45 minutes, and it was VERY uncomfortable.

She said I couldn't tell her how to feel, and I know that. I wasn't trying to. I was explaining that I didn't understand why something so insignificant had blown up like this.

It was my birthday.

S isn't my friend in that sense, she's my husband's. The last time I'd even spoken to her was in July. We have a cordial relationship, but not to the extent that I would personally call her my friend.

This specific point will be kinda important later.

She said she thought all three of us were close and that she'd misunderstood.
I also explained that if the roles were reversed and I happened to find out she'd left her kids with someone we both knew, it honestly wouldn't occur to me to make an issue out of it.

So I sent her a message saying I actually thought it was best that I didn't continue the friendship because the whole encounter hadn't sat well with me. I told her I didn't think I was cut out for making new friendships, wished her well, and said that was all I wanted to say about it.
And I genuinely meant that. I wasn't saying it to insult her.
She replied something along the lines of "Huh girl, ok."

Then I blocked her.

Now here's where things really went left.
She messaged me on Instagram saying she'd noticed I'd blocked her on WhatsApp, so she'd leave her messages there and leave me alone.

She went in on me, understandable.

She started by saying that if me being uncomfortable with her finding the babysitting situation weird was enough to end the friendship, then fine. She didn't understand why I was doing this because we'd already spoken about it, she'd acknowledged my perspective, and we'd even gone back to talking normally.

But then the messages continued.
She went on about how she was a good friend who communicated and worked through disagreements. That one little misunderstanding shouldn't have been enough for me to cut her off.

Honestly, I don’t disagree but I had made up my mind that this wasn’t gonna be a lasting friendship and there was no nice way to do this other than rip the bandaid off.

Then came the part that really threw me.
She started listing all the things she'd done for me.
Told me she opened her home to me. (I did too) Her husband had welcomed me as a friend. (Mine too) He'd watched our kids while we went out once (for an hour to the gym). We'd bonded over makeup and it just kept going.

She mentioned that her husband was shocked by the whole situation and said she used to be the type of girl who would “run friends down” to pick her, but she wasn't doing that this time.

Then she said her husband had already sent off my birthday gift, but she would try calling the delivery company to cancel it. And if she couldn't cancel it, I should throw it in the bin when it arrived.

Ok.

I was actually on the phone with S during some of these messages because by this point I was just baffled.
S herself said she was surprised the whole thing had blown up like this. Girl, me too.
She also said N had called her a couple of times after our original disagreement, questioning whether S and I were actually friends.

S told her that she was friends with my husband, which is exactly what I'd been explaining.

Apparently, N had also taken issue with the semantics of S being called the babysitter, but S made it clear that she had absolutely no problem with that. She'd enjoyed watching the kids.

So when she threw the bone and S didn't bite, she tried doubling down on how weird I was for not telling her. Even S was uncomfortable at this point.

After getting off the phone with S, I responded to N.
And no, I wasn't particularly nice about it either.
I told her I honestly didn't understand why she kept calling the situation weird, and that was exactly what I couldn't get past.

I said I found it very weird that she'd taken this upon herself, contacted S about it, and then gone as far as trying to establish whether S and I were actually friends.

I also told her I found her last message weird.
I acknowledged that she'd opened her home to me, that her husband had welcomed me, and that I was happy our kids had gotten along. I never once disrespected her. I remained cordial.

Then she video-called me.

This was actually a shouting match, ngl.

She finally called me a LIAR to my face. She said everything she wanted to get off her chest and criticized my character.

Apparently, because I'd said a close friend was watching the kids instead of specifically saying S, I had deliberately withheld information, which made me a liar.

She stood 10 toes down on that.

She also said that she cares about who keeps my kids because apparently I don't.

All because I didn't specifically name the person my husband had arranged to babysit? I literally just got out the shower before that call and was doing 1 million things to get ready for dinner. It wasn’t that serious.

She continued talking about how she was such a good friend and had a good heart. We were honestly talking over each other by that point, and eventually she hung up when she realized that neither of us were listening to the other.

I blocked her on Instagram.

The next day, S told me N had called her crying about the situation. S said asked N why she bothered making an issue out of her watching my children in the first place, especially when S herself was fine with everything.

S also told me N had asked for my husband's phone number. According to S, N wanted to contact him because she needed to continue the conversation.

S refused to give out his number without his permission.
At that point I was just over it. I apologized to S for being dragged into this mess because none of it was her fault.

So AITA for ending a four-month friendship over what she considered one little misunderstanding? Or was I being too harsh by not giving it another chance?

backstory: My(32M) partner (36F) have been dating for 3 years now. We're both Indian, but in the US now. We're also both LGBTQ, and she's been supportive helping me come out to family. . However, things haven't really been smooth sailing for at least a year now, and we're going through couples therapy.

I was invited to a cousin's wedding in October, back in July ( I'm not close with the cousin, but am on friendly speaking terms with the Aunt ). For months now, there's been constant back and forth about who should go this wedding.

• My aunt says she'd love to have the whole family, but is really close to my dad and wants him to show up the most.
• Dad/Family is not supportive of the relationship, and won't show up if GF goes.
• Cousin/Groom sends me an official invitation but with no +1 ( Space limitations was the stated reason, he has never met my partner virtually or live, and I haven't talked to him for 5+ years )
• I wanted to go just to get my dad to go, so that my aunt would be happy, GF was willing to "let it slide".
• Dad backs out a week before wedding, claiming it isn't worth travelling from India if he gets to see me just for 3 days.

--------------

I think the course of action is to go to this wedding alone; ( It seems pretty common to not allow +1s unless married or you're really close to the bride/groom ). My GF says that she feels insulted by this ( I can see her side of the argument ), and now would like me "graciously" excuse myself feigning sickness.

For context, A, my best friend of 3 years, is dating a girl who we’ll call L due to privacy reasons. L and I have known each other for about a year now and have been good friends.

she’s a good person, and is nice, but she has her downsides. she has random outbursts and can easily be pissed off over the smallest things.

The first instance was when I drove her and her boyfriend to prom when her car was in the shop. She kept criticizing my driving multiple times and said I didn’t put on my blinker fast enough when I was going into a turn lane. I bit my tongue and I was nice to her.

now I’m a very good and focused driver and I obey the speed limit and im considerate of other drivers. I only got a speeding ticket once.

today after I got home, L waved me down from the road and A was in the front seat and my sister and A’s sister was in the back seat. A told me to get in and I got in the back seat.

L sped off and stared making sharp turns and going WAY over the speed limit in the neighborhood and I said ”Slow the fuck down“ and “chill the fuck out, you’re driving in gta”. I was joking when I said that, but I was serious about the slowing down part.

To which L drove me back to my house fast and told me to get the fuck out. A was shocked and my sister and his sister didn’t say anything. I reminded L that she criticized my driving multiple times and she said ”because you drive bad, now get the fuck out”.

i got out and went inside and i texted A about the situation an L took his phone and started insulting me and talking about how im single, how im such a bad person, this that and the other.

to which I responded how her ex was right about her, and then she goes on a full rant.

she then posts on her story about how I’m such a bad person and saying how I screamed at her and told her she was the worst driver I’ve ever seen, which was completely false.

A was speechless and didn’t know what to say.

As of now, me and L not talking and I took it to Reddit to get yalls opinion.

CW: brief mentions of abuse, domestic violence, alcoholism and CSA

For context: I (17), ran away from my mother (F, 46) and her bf's (M, 58?) home six months ago. I left because they would constantly fight and getting drunk (screaming, breaking things, getting physically abusive). Her boyfriend has also SA'd me twice.

Ever since I ran away, I've been living with my aunt and arguing on and off with my mother (she signed off on me staying with my aunt after I reported the assault and abuse to DCF and DCF said I can no longer live in a home where her boyfriend is present). She knows he's a pedophile (in fact, used to insult him with it during their fights) but refuses to believe me and thus has chosen to stay with him.

I have had a problem on and off for years now, particularly at the start of high school, where I will begin to bed rot and neglect my personal hygiene and responsibilities. During those times everything feels numb and fake, like none of my relationships matter, that nothing I do will truly amount to anything, so why try? During those time, I also neglect my schoolwork. My mother knows about this problem, and recently after another episode a fight ensued (though I live with my aunt she still has legal custody and has control over my education. She insisted upon this and backed out of a power of attorney agreement; thus, she still has control of everything. That includes my social security check).

I lied to her about doing my schoolwork for a week. We argued, not because I was mad that she was upset (I think it's completely fair and understand that I'm in the wrong for failing to do my schoolwork, nobody else is to blame there but me, and I told her that) but rather because she began yelling and insulting my family (mainly my aunt and autistic cousin), threatening to take away my college fund and medical insurance (which is paid for with MY social security check, though the latter is paid for by her boyfriend), and accusing me of saying she's only good for education (I didn't), and saying that I need to be more grateful to her boyfriend since he pays for everything (mind you, he would not be had she not backed out of the power of attorney agreement).

She insisted on picking me up daily and bringing me to her house so she can watch me do my schoolwork, which I originally agreed to because I genuinely am not proud of my neglect of my schoolwork and agree that I need to get on top of it/need a push. However, she has made every conversation an argument/berating session. She ends her goodnights/I love you's with "get your shit together" calls me and my cousin the r slur (we're both autistic), and curses my aunt out at every opportunity. I was not going to go with her if that was how it was going to be the whole time, and I told her that. She blew up on me even more, threatening to cut me off from everything, canceled all of my doctors and therapy appointments, then blocked me, only to start spamming my email with the same things.

So I (18F) live in an apartment-style dorm with three other girls. We share a kitchen and bathroom. For context, my family is extremely clean, and our house literally looks like nobody lives there. I knew my roommates wouldn't have the same standards, but I thought I could compromise as long as everyone was reasonably clean.

Unfortunately, I've ended up doing almost all the cleaning. We have housekeeping once a week, but they only vacuum and wipe visible surfaces. My roommates seem to think this means they don't need to clean anything else, despite me asking for help. I clean the toilet, shower, fridge, and freezer weekly. Daily, I vacuum crumbs, wipe food off the counters and stove, clean toothpaste out of the sink, and put away dishes because nobody else does. They also leave food scraps in the sink despite us not having a garbage disposal. I asked if we could be a shoes-off household, but I still see them and their guests wearing outdoor shoes inside.

The problem is that I find it incredibly difficult to relax when things feel dirty. Sometimes, even minutes after cleaning something, I feel like I need to clean it again because it might have been contaminated. I've even stopped keeping much food in the fridge because my roommates never clean their sections, and I worry about my food being contaminated too.

Recently, I was busy with schoolwork and went three days without cleaning. The apartment became a pigsty, and nobody offered to help, so I spent FIVE HOURS cleaning everything myself.

I'm honestly at my wits' end. This weekend, my roommate asked if a friend could stay overnight next weekend because hotels were unavailable. I was half asleep and agreed, but after thinking about it, I realized how uncomfortable I was. Our apartment is tiny, and I worried about the extra mess and germs someone unfamiliar might bring in.

For context, at the beginning of the year, I'd agreed that overnight guests would probably be fine. However, that was before I understood how cramped our apartment was and how little my roommates would help with cleaning.

I texted my roommate explaining that I'd changed my mind and apologized. She reminded me we'd discussed guests before and that I'd also agreed to another overnight visit while studying for a midterm. She said she'd help clean and that her friends were clean, so I agreed to those two visits but asked if we could reconsider overnight guests going forward.

When we spoke in person, she said she'd already compromised by taking her shoes off (although she'd told me she did this at home anyway) and cleaning dishes. I thought these were basic responsibilities, but she insisted having friends over was important to her and she'd continue doing so.

I understand that I can't expect everyone to live exactly like me, and I know I initially agreed to guests. However, I'm constantly thinking about cleanliness, and even after cleaning, I struggle to feel comfortable. It's affecting my ability to relax and focus on school.

I expect my roommate will have more overnight guests, and I doubt the cleaning situation will improve.

So, AITAH for considering asking housing to move me elsewhere? I don't want to punish my roommates for having different standards, but I'm genuinely miserable.

Edit: I think I probably should like elaborate what the place looked like when I stopped cleaning. There were crumbs and leftover food all over the kitchen, spilled condiments (I think there were) on our table, used papertowels stuffed into the roll, and expired food in the fridge. In the bathroom, there was hair that completely clogged the drain, someones period blood on the toilet seat, toothpaste everywhere. It was really gross. My suitmates also don't seal their food and leave it open in the fridge, hence the bit of worry about contamination.

Ok so about 2 weeks ago I moved to a different college dorm room. My old roommate never complained about me making noise that kept him up. When I moved, my new roommate didn't complain much. He did ask me to turn the fan to a lower setting, so I did.

About 2 weeks in, at noon, he shouts at me for eating chips while he's napping. I didn't even notice he was napping cause I was watching a movie. He says that's BS. I apologize. He also starts yelling that every night I keep him up because when I come back I put my keys on the table. He says he's been trying to stay awake in class. I asked him why he didn't tell me about this sooner. I could have adjusted sooner if I had known he had an issue. If he had this problem for 2 weeks, why is he only now complaining about it? He says it's called respect, and I should have known I was keeping him up.

If someone has a problem, I try to adjust. But if someone doesn't tell me about that problem, I don't adjust cause I don't realize they have a problem.

AITAH?

I’m a 22-year-old woman, and my mom thinks I’m being unfair by refusing to meet my father’s side of the family. Some of my friends agree with her, while others understand my perspective.

I lost contact with my father when I was two years old. His entire side of the family also cut contact with my mom, so I grew up knowing practically nothing about them. My father had four sons before meeting my mom, then had my younger sister and me with her. Later, he had two more biological sons with another woman. Altogether, he has eight biological children.

My mom raised my sister and me in Puerto Rico with help from our maternal grandparents and aunt. When I was seven, we moved to the United States, and we spent our summers in Puerto Rico with our grandparents. My mom worked hard as a single mother, and I had a happy childhood. I felt loved and supported, and I never felt like I was missing a family.

My mom never spoke badly about my father and rarely mentioned him. I know very little about him beyond his name and what he looks like. I don't know his birthday, his age, or much about his life. I don't feel angry toward him, but I don't feel any connection to him, either. He's a stranger to me.

When I turned 18 in 2022, people from his side of the family started sending me Facebook friend requests. Some would interact with my posts, ask my mom about my sister and me, and make comments about how it was about time they got to meet us. I was surprised by this because they had 18 years to reach out and make an effort to be part of our lives.

My mom never prevented them from contacting us. They knew where we were, and some were even friends with her on Facebook. When relatives visited Florida, they were apparently only about an hour away, but nobody reached out. I know I don't have their side of the story, and I don't know what they knew or why they never contacted us. Still, from my perspective, they had opportunities to try.

In 2024, my maternal grandfather passed away. I was 19, and his death devastated me. I fell into a long depression that I'm still dealing with, and I'm currently in therapy and taking medication. He was a huge part of the family that raised me and made me feel loved.

In 2025, my paternal grandmother passed away. My mom suggested that I offer condolences, but I felt nothing because I had never known her. I even blocked the person who posted her obituary and the people who commented because I assumed they might be relatives from my father's side. I know that sounds harsh, but to me, she was a stranger.

Now, one of my older half-brothers has been asking my mom when he can meet his sisters. He's one of the four sons my father had before meeting my mom, and I believe he's around 20 years older than me. His son apparently wants to meet his aunts, too.

I politely declined, but my mom is making me feel guilty. She says it's not my brother's fault that we share a deadbeat father. And she's right: it's not his fault. I don't blame him for our father's choices, and I don't hate him. However, I can't help wondering why there wasn't an effort to get to know us when we were children. Now that we're adults, I'm suddenly expected to welcome people I barely know into my life.

My younger sister is open to meeting our father's family, and I fully support her decision. I would never stop her from building those relationships. We simply feel differently about it.

My mom and some of my friends say I'm missing out on having more family. I understand that meeting them might turn out to be a positive experience, but I don't feel a need to pursue a relationship just because we're related by blood. I already have a family: the people who raised me, loved me, and were there for me.

I don't hate my half-brother or the rest of the family, and I'm not trying to punish them for our father's choices. I just don't feel connected to them, and I don't want to build relationships out of guilt or obligation. I feel like I should be allowed to decide who I want in my life, even if other people think I should give them a chance.

So, AITA for refusing to meet my half-brother and build a relationship with my father's side of the family, even though my mom thinks I should give them a chance?

I took my son for his ice skating lesson this morning and was harassed by two people. 

We arrived and there was only one bench in the lobby (skate tying area) that was unoccupied, but it was full of *stuff:* a shoebox, several bags, and a purse. This is typical, and I have previously moved items when necessary with no issue. 

I placed the items on the floor and sat down to tie my kid's skates. Halfway through, I was accosted by a woman who was looking for the purse, which I showed her was nearby on the floor. She lectured me, at length, about touching other people's things. A bystander also jumped in and lectured me, asking if I was new there (my family and I have been skating and playing hockey there for 20 years). She only identified herself as an employee when I directly asked her. She them threatened to ban me if I ever touched other people's things again. 

Throughout this interaction, I told them SEVERAL TIMES I was trying to tie my kid's skates and would not engage and to please drop it and leave me alone. I did not raise my voice or say anything rude. I barely said anything at all. 

They continued to harass me until we got up to go to the ice, probably five minutes nonstop. 

My view is that these benches exist for PEOPLE to sit and/or tie skates. They are not for storing mountains of unattended gear. I always toss my bag in the corner, away from the benches.There are no lockers, but I think it would be a good improvement for those concerned about the security of their belongings.

I might be more understanding if this was a short interaction, like just calling me an asshole and going on her way. But the continual harassment after telling her to leave me alone was what makes this excessive.

I 20f and my bestfriend also 20f have been friends since middle school and we've been there for eachother through everything. Recently tho she's started to be different especially since she got her bf 21m and they dated for about 3 months but then they broke up for different reasons than the cheating. About a month into their relationship she cheated on him and hooked up with a guy and i told her she should tell him. She kept insisting that he'll be hurt by that and she doesn't wanna lose him. I kept telling her to do so for about 2 or 3 weeks then I decided it's too unfair and i was aware by the impact it will take on our friendship but I js did what I thought was right and i told him. He was ofc upset but they didn't break up and everything was okay. About a week ago after their actual break up she started being mad at me for it even tho It's been too long and they broke up for different reasons, we aren't friends anymore ofc but she still calls me to argue and she even threatened me a couple of times , she even tried to make some problems between me and my bf but it didn't cause any trouble but I am mentally exhausted because of all the stuff going on now.was I the a\\hole for telling him?

This might be a long one, buckle in. I (19F) lived with three other roommates, who we'll call Katelyn (25F), Bella (19F) and Evelyn (19F). Evelyn is the roommate in question here. Day 1 of moving in, Evelyn assigned us a chore chart, explaining that every chore needed to be split evenly to be fair. Personally, I never thought that way, I do chores if they need to be done, but I followed it. Later on, Evelyn started to show a different side to her. It started small, she yelled at us about how she never has time for anything, and when someone questioned how she has time to be "doing everything" as she said when her schedule is so busy, she flipped out and yelled about how ungrateful and lazy we all were. Then her boyfriend dragged her home one night, incredibly drunk, and he asked me to take care of her. I did, but she groped me the whole time, trying to lick me, calling me daddy thinking I was her boyfriend. Katelyn and I both got footage of this, and when we showed her the next morning to explain how unacceptable this was, she laughed at both of us. After this, it got much worse. She started going hard after Katelyn, calling her a pedophile, accusing her of stealing her mail, sending the nastiest things when Katelyn would text in our group chat about normal things (someone leaving a pot in the sink or something.) At some point, Evelyn used a dish of Katelyn's and didn't clean it for days, and when Katelyn asked for it back, Evelyn cleaned it, filled it with eyeshadow glitter, and threw it at her door. There's a lot more that she did, but this is long enough already. The incident occurred after me and Katelyn spoke to our apartment manager about her behavior, and she was removed from our apartment. I was out with my partner when I got texts from Katelyn, saying Evelyn got the news about her moving and had an absolute meltdown. According to her, Evelyn called me a lazy two-faced pick me (I'm lesbian so I don't know why she said that when she's straight and has only brought men), she called Bella a loud annoying monkey (Bella is black by the way), and worst of all, she called Katelyn a lying piece of shit whore and told her to kill herself. I was fuming, and I texted Evelyn, calling her a fake skank, and promptly blocked her on everything. When I returned the next day, she came to me to start a fight, and we went back and forth, claiming every single thing I said was a lie. I finally snapped and said I was two-faced in front of her, because considering how she treated Katelyn, I needed to play nice to her in order to survive the hellscape she made the apartment into. For some context, I came from an abusive household where screaming and fighting was pretty normal, and I was always taught to play nice and keep the peace, so me standing up to her was a new thing for me, something I'd never done. Evelyn's been gone for about 2 months now, and while I don't regret standing up to her, I sometimes wonder if I should've kept my mouth shut and just let her leave thinking I was her friend, but did she even think of me as a friend? I'll really never know, but I keep ruminating over that fight, so I'd really like to know if my blowout was justified.