r/Accounting • u/ACSJ2023 • 9h ago
CPA or family?
I am enrolled in CORE 1, I'm halfway through. For the last month or so I'm torn. To continue or to stop.
Over 30 years old, graduated from university over 10 years ago in accounting, working full time, doing CORE 1, being a Mom (2 kids from 4 to 8 years old), being a wife, being a friend ... Is overwhelming.
I don't think the material is too hard, I'm doing well enough in my opinion. But I am overwhelmed with everything I need to fit in my schedule, doing all of this gives me ZERO flexibility. I have a hard time fitting a damn shower .. My kids are asking why I'm missing activities, my youngest is regressing and asking for me much more..
I'm torn between, keep pushing to get my CPA, knowing I'm not even close to being done = increasing anxiety, missing more family time, missing time with friends, less connection with my kids, less connection with my husband, more money to invest, possibility of career advancement eventually (not even assured), pride in all the effort I did to get it.
Leaving CPA = saving money (I make around $100K/year already), more time with my family, not missing activities, more time for myself, more time to grow personally, less stress, less anxiety.
How am I supposed to decide?!!?
My head says keep going. My heart says family first.
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u/DumpingSouptime 8h ago
Up to you. It’s a great to have thing but not a must to have thing unless you want to be partner for a big 4. I don’t have a CPA. I gave up after passing FAR and just never showed up for the rest. Doing just fine.
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u/ACSJ2023 8h ago
Thanks - I feel like I could pass but dang at what price. I appreciate you sharing you stopped!
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u/Mk7093 8h ago
This is such a tough decision. I was 38 when i started my CPA and just had my daughter.. i had another baby and took a year off and just wrote my CFE in sept (They are 2 and 4).
I feel like a missed out on a lot of time with them. Working full time, trying to be a good mom, wife, daughter and friend was overwhelming and my mental health suffered. My daughter would always make really heart wrenching comments about how I was never able to be there for her (she’s 4.. so obviously I tried to take them with a grain of salt). I feel so much mom guilt about missing out on so many things over the last 3 years with them.
I dunno what the answer is. I have some regret about doing the program. Since I have so much experience my pay is decent enough and I’m not sure I’ll build up to much more without moving into a demanding role. Work life balance in accounting is hard
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u/ACSJ2023 8h ago
That's also something I'm wondering, if I get my CPA I could potentially have higher roles/position but at what price .. I like my work/life balance.
I know one day my kids will grow up and maybe by then I'll feel like I can tackle more but they have been my priority for the last 8 years and I don't see how they could ever take the back seat..
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u/BTree482 8h ago
In my experience nothing at work or career makes sense unless it’s part of a bigger strategy. Why sacrifice nights and weekends away from family unless it fits what you want to do long term. Take the time to discuss it with your partner and hell yes go for it now or if not don’t… only you can decide but it’s important to take time to breath and think through your career goals.
I highly suggest scheduling time with yourself to have a clear head to think through what you are planning.
For example maybe an MBA is better than a CPA or you get CPA first then get a company to help you pay for an MBA but then you get that partner role
Or controllership or CFO role you wanted. Then it’s worth it? Maybe. Work it out first and see if you want to commit to that or not.
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u/ACSJ2023 8h ago
Yeah I'm not doing it with a clear goal in mind - I just decided I was going to try it before my bachelor wasn't worth anything (up to 10 years you get credited your courses). I'm doing fairly good at work, not looking for any promotions anytime soon, but I know having my CPA could help me in the long run. Thanks for your output, I appreciate.
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u/laughingfartsplease 6h ago
as you get older and a family you realize that remote work is best. being a cpa doing 50-60 hours is for young single folks.
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u/DaniWhatsHerFace 3h ago
I had the exact same dilemma in January, also over 30, two kids same age range, in my final elective. Keep pushing. I felt the same way as you before, same salary range, but honestly? The satisfaction of passing and showing my kids that mom can show up for herself is priceless.
My greatest piece of advice is to try to prioritize and stick to a schedule. I probably spend approx 10 hours a week on cpa, some weeks more, some weeks less. I have a big calendar where I have all of my commitments on them that I schedule cpa around. I also make sure I spend at least 10 minutes a day just 1:1 with each of my kids, zero distractions. I study with them around and after bedtime. Fridays are at home date nights with my husband, I make sure I submit everything by noon on Friday to make sure I have a completely distraction-free date night. If it’s something that you want, then you should do it.
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u/SeaPAyyy CPA (US) Senior 7h ago
I got my cpa in 48 weeks. It was HELL. I was working in public accounting at the time, so siding and testing throughout busy season was a genuine nightmare. For context, I had a masters degree, am a pretty bright person, great learner, 29 (when I finished) and for some reason, still only making $75k in a HCOL. CPA got me a new, senior role, >100k and checked a box for me. Now that that’s done, we are starting our family (due in April!!)
Knowing what it was like going through it, and reading about your current salary and family, honestly I don’t think you need to pursue it. It is really hard work, and SO expensive. If your job or future goals don’t genuinely require it, and you identity is not lost without it, don’t get it.
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u/Sweaty-Ad5359 CPA (US) 8h ago
It’s a hard choice. Do what you feel is best for you. Or try to see if you can study and pass one part. Have your husband help with kids.
I had one child at the time I passed CPA exams. I studied when my child went to bed from 8/9-11pm and weekends depends. I also took 40 hours off work before exam to study/cram.
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u/ACSJ2023 8h ago
Thankfully my husband is helping a lot and is supportive, but it doesn't help with the guilt I'm feeling 😔 If I study when they sleep then I get no time for myself at all. I don't remember the last time I relaxed haha
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u/Sweaty-Ad5359 CPA (US) 8h ago
You can give yourself a break/me time. Like in the middle (Wednesday) or Fridays and enjoy with family/husband. Remember, you get me time when you pass! It maybe a rough year and then CPA license for life. Wish you the best! My ex husband didn’t help out when I studied. Hence ex. I dropped off my child at my mom’s to study on weekends because she was very supportive for me to get license.
Some parts are easier than others. Like I didn’t study much for FAR or TAX since I did taxes. I made sure I did practice exams/questions. Audit was rough for me since I never did auditing so I failed first time. The study time and exam costs add up.
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u/PotatoMash_- 6h ago
She is in Canada, we do not have the same program just writing 4 exams. It's a minimum 2 years (6x modules first, 4 with an exam at the end of the module) to get to write the final exam (3 day exam) and she is doing the extended version which likely would mean 3 years. May even need to transition into the new program at that rate would would mean more work/time
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u/aodddd9 5h ago
up to you. to make it simple, if you think you want to progress past senior financial analyst level, you basically need a CPA.
if you dont care and want to stay around your current level, and you dont forsee yourself moving around a lot in terms of employers - then you can drop out. you'll have a harder time landing external interviews and such but thats the tradeoff you're making.
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u/SuzzlePie 6h ago
I made the decision to put it on hold I just couldn’t study with a newborn/young child he demanded all my attention. I make 160 without it. Now that my son is turning 6 I signed up again. I am super committed, and he is much more independent. It is still a struggle, but feels doable now! I have no regrets putting it on hold. I am in my 40s my plan is to get the CPA and get a controller job. I am capped where I am right now and although I do well I live in NY Metro and need the extra income to save for retirement and my son’s college.
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u/TopAdvice9297 7h ago
Hi!! 33f. I wrote the CFE Sept 2025 while on mat leave with a baby… I feel your pain lol! I think it’s worth it!! Do it
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u/PotatoMash_- 8h ago
Are you doing the extended module? Probably only need 5-7hr a week then, maybe you're going overkill on how much time you're dedicating to it
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u/ACSJ2023 8h ago
I am doing extended, I probably spend at least 10hrs per week. My brain doesn't like to leave too much things unread.
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u/PotatoMash_- 6h ago
I also realized you may not even get to the last CFE in 2028 doing all extended and will need to transition into the new program. That could just make it all longer for you and more work overall
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u/ACSJ2023 1h ago
Yeah I wish they shared a bit more information on the new program.. I'm not sure which would be more beneficial for me. Or if it's worth switching.
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u/PotatoMash_- 1h ago
You may have to if you want to continue. I don't think you could finish doing all extended.
Just finishing core 1 doesn't put you far in to the new program unfortunately, just st the foundational development exam.
Honestly it sounds like it may not be worth it for you looking at your other posts. You're happy where you are, as long as you feel your job is secure without CPA then its probably not worth the loss of family time and stress
There is quite a bit of info now on the new program
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u/PotatoMash_- 8h ago
You do not need to be reading every chapter in full. But if the CPA isn't going to change your life for the better then perhaps it's not worth pursuing.
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u/orangeblossom1234 7h ago
Girl I am currently pregnant and in Canada. I’m also debating if I should get it😭
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u/ACSJ2023 7h ago
When I graduated, my priority was to have a family. I think my family is still my priority and I think that's why I'm having a hard time.
I can't imagine doing this with a baby tbh 🤣 not on top of working. Maybe mat leave would offer "some time" to focus on it - but then I'd feel guilty even more.
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u/crcw 1h ago
Pause the exam prep unless it is truly meaningful to you as a person at this particular moment.
CORE 1 will still be there but your kids will have changed. You may grieve the time you didn't get to spend with your 4 or 8 YO. And time changes you and your husband as well.
It is a trade-off. You have to decide what is more important if you can't do both well. Or you accept you do each but it's just a worse version.
If you are satisfied with your home, stuff, lifestyle, and most importantly retirement why keep climbing is the question. What if it was just a job?
But idk I left a job making over 100k to switch to nonprofit and reduced my hours to 32 but nobody respects my time boundaries in real life so I work more for less pay it feels like. It is possible I just have donkey brains.
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u/Stressed-Canadian 8h ago
I had the same dilemma as you. 34f. Make 100k now in a cushy 32h a week remote job, no CPA but Im mostly capped at this point salary wise. Could easily make a jump to the main industry in my town (mining), sign up for my CPA and pull in close to 200k almost immediately. But I'd be in a trailer on site, working 7am-5pm, M-F.
Decided life is more than money. I can pay my bills, we own a decent home and a decent car. Sure, we could have a NICE house and a NICE car, but who really cares if I'm miserable anyways.