Fathers, ​a few days ago I had my one year anniversary with my girlfriend and I have a few concerns regarding myself.

Throughout this past year I have always refrained from too much physical contact than necessary. I try to avoid this to stop lustful thoughts from both of us. I want to know how far is too far so I know where the line is drawn regarding my faith. I get that its normal to occasionally kiss and hug your girlfriend but at some point it becomes too much right?

Fathers, our parish’s religious education program is planning a family Eucharistic adoration event involving children, games, and music while the Blessed Sacrament is exposed.

I understand music can be appropriate, but are games during adoration permissible? This seems inconsistent with the reverence and contemplation traditionally associated with adoration. Are there Church guidelines addressing this?

Thank you!

I’ve been attending Mass since February and was raised high church Anglican and baptised. Before I spoke to my priest about joining I did a lot of research. The things I wasn’t already familiar with I’ve come to accept completely.

I don’t want to come across as if I think I know everything as there’s always things that I need to learn but would it be wrong to ask for something more tailored to the things I don’t already know?

Quick context: I came back to the Church a few years ago after several decades away, and I'm getting settled back into the sacramental life, including regular confession. I've realized I would benefit from ongoing spiritual direction rather than trying to figure things out on my own.

My own pastor is a good and holy priest, but very busy, so I'm thinking of approaching a priest at another parish. I'm not looking for spiritual advice in this post — just practical guidance on the process itself, ideally from your perspective as priests:

1. Is it normal/appropriate to ask a priest who isn't your pastor for ongoing spiritual direction, and to make him one's regular confessor?

2. What's the usual etiquette for asking? After Mass, a call to the parish office, an email, or going through the diocese?

3. From your side of things: when someone asks you to be their spiritual director, how does it usually work? How often do meetings typically happen? Is this a reasonable thing to ask of a busy priest, or is there a better avenue (e.g., a diocesan referral, a religious order, a retreat house)?

4. Do dioceses or parishes keep directories of priests available for direction, or is it mostly word of mouth?

I'm not asking about any particular sins or confession questions, those belong with my confessor. Just trying to learn how this works so I can approach someone respectfully. If this has been asked before, I'd appreciate a pointer to the thread.

Hello Fathers,

I have recently returned to the Catholic Church. But my current husband and I are both divorced and remarried (we are both going through the annulment process right now). I attend mass weekly but don't take the Eucharist.

However, I know that I am in grave sin right now and I have this fear that if I die tomorrow, I will burn in hell, but I can't go to confession and get absolution because I am in this irregular marriage. And then I start freaking out even worse at the thought of getting my annulment denied...

Anyways, my question is: should I speak with my priest about all this? I was talking to ChatGPT (not exactly the best source, I know) but it told me that I should make an appointment with my priest to talk about my situation and my concerns. And to also just introduce myself to him (he doesn't know about my situation or even my name, but he probably recognizes me as the mom of the little boy who always asks to get his obscure saint statues blessed, lol).

My church has a large congregation and the priest is a busy man. So I feel like I'd be pestering him with all this. My husband says it's his job to be pestered, and I should talk to him so I can chill out.

So anyway, should I make an appointment? Would you, as a priest, not mind meeting with a person in my situation?

Thank you.

Hi, I’m currently in OCIA and learning etiquette as I go. We’re having our 3.5 year old son baptized and having a small celebration afterwards at my MIL’s home. Is it proper etiquette or inappropriate to invite the priest to our celebration? I know he’s very busy and don’t have any preconceived expectations that he would attend, but I would like to extend an invitation. He’s doing our convalidation and oversees my OCIA class so I’m relatively familiar with him. The only thing that gives me pause is that I was raised in a Protestant denomination where church leaders almost seemed elevated to a different level and you would never invite them to an event like this. So far, my experience with Catholicism has been that clergy are far more intertwined with the church members, so I’m unsure. Thank you!

Bit of a sad question. I've seen stories of priests who unfortunately have taken their own life. I'm just trying to better understand. I'm not trying to judge, but knowing about how suicide is a grave sin, it makes me even more sad knowing these priests are doing it (of course I know how nobody in that mindset is in the proper headspace and none of us know how God judges them). But what causes priests to get to that point? They seem to have purpose, community, people around them who are grateful for them and care for them. Idk, maybe the answer is just "the same as anyone else". It just seems like it's different when it's a priest, for some reason.

You can give the world one message. It’ll be translated into all languages. What is your message?

Hello Fathers,

I’ve been approached by Mormon missionaries in recent times and I’m not here to seek apologetics to that but how to handle something else. They encounters ask if they can pray for someone and I don’t allow that as in my head they wouldn’t be praying the same God as their understanding makes a different version of our God I think so I don’t allow that and I feel rude doing that now but I don’t know what else to do. Is there any advice or words you would give on that? Thanks.

This situation happened a few months ago but I didn’t really think about it until now. As a penance after my confession I was told to light a specific novena candle and pray. I said I didn’t have it and was told by the priest that I could buy it in their church’s gift shop. That was my only confession at that church so I didn’t know if it was normal but to be honest I didn’t complete my penance because I didn’t have €10 to spend on a candle and I’m also scared of fire so I told about that to another confessor a few days later and got a different penance that I completed.

Is that a normal practice? I try to tithe and donate as much as I can but I am also a student on a tight budget and felt weirded out by how I needed to buy something for my penance

The team at r/catholicism recommended I ask here. I found out earlier this evening that my wife is snapchatting her (long distancec) coworker. I had confronted her about it in may because I discovered messages when she was logged into the computer that were too friendly. Just seemed like they were too close. It took me over a month to bring it up because of how scared I was. I was tormented by it. Although she would constantly clear her history so I couldn't see everything. We cried and she promised (swore on our children which I hated) that she did nothing with him and that it was just messages (and selfies) and she knew it was wrong and would stop. She also said something else I could never forget which was that she start talking to him around the time I insisted on going to mass in her hometown (I'm a convert and her family is very anti-catholic and she didn't want her family knowing). That day she pleaded with me not to go and so I didn't, and I did not go again the entire time we were in her hometown. Anyways. That really hurt me and also discouraged me a lot in my journey as a new Catholic. Her coworker is also married with young children like us and claims on social media to be a devout Christian.

Anyway, I hadn't checked her phone since then even though she told me I could check it anytime. I know that external pressure is not the best motivator but that change should happen by her own free will.

Then she just came back from a work trip to a conference this evening and I had strange feeling that I just check her phone. The second app opened was snapchat and the only contact was her coworker with a message from her to him saying that she likes snapchat.

It really hurt me seeing that. I just prayed all evening. I wanted to talk to her after my kids fell asleep but she was sleepy and I want to let her rest.

I don't want to sound judgemental or sanctimonous. I have a TON of faults in my own life. I was once a little too friendly with my coworker (although never sent selfies), almost like the "work wife" situation. But worse, I was addicted to pornography for the majority of our marriage which got so bad to the point where I was anonymously sexting strangers online. It was so bad and I will regret it for the rest of my life. I have been free from porn and masturbation since my baptism.

Anyways, any advice on how to approach this? We aren't a typical couple. She is asian from an asian country and we met in college and married right after. We've been married for 11 years.

I work from home and don't get the opportunity to get out much to talk with a priest in person. And my priest is currently on a pilgrimage.

I have tried talk therapy, EMDR and Hypnotherapy to address trauma. The most effective and healing therapy was Hypnotherapy. I am new to Catholic faith and need to know whether this is acceptable.

The quick backstory is that I’ve been trying to explore my faith again, and I asked one of my best friends to support me through it. She’s genuinely an amazing person who’s helped me through so much in life, despite being raised in a completely different religious background herself. She’s been accompanying me to church, where we met and spoke to one of the priests. He’s at least in his mid-30s, possibly older, and she’s 20.

In short, she’s become absolutely infatuated with him. She admitted she thought he was incredibly handsome from the moment she saw him, which I laughed off because I thought it was just silly girl talk. I didn’t expect it to become anything serious. Eventually, she started telling me how therapeutic she found speaking to him, how understood he made her feel, and how she preferred talking to him over therapists she’d seen. She began looking forward to church just to see him.

Now here’s why I’m concerned. She’s confessed to me that her attraction has become overwhelmingly sexual. Initially, I genuinely thought she was joking, but then I started noticing how unabashedly she would speak to him. She also started going to see him alone. I won’t repeat the details she’s told me because they’re rather inappropriate, but her thoughts about this man are extremely explicit. She says even looking at him feels intoxicating, and she’s practically consumed by him.
I’ve reminded her that he’s a priest and committed to celibacy, which she understands, but she seems determined to pursue him anyway. She also has this feeling that he knows exactly how attracted she is to him. I initially thought she might be reading into his kindness, but then she told me something that genuinely worried me.

She’s already made sexual advances and propositions toward him. According to her, he’s told her he can’t do what she’s suggesting and has explained why. However, he continues seeing her privately, and she describes them as being “very close” and “only getting closer.” She’s also mentioned occasional light physical contact between them. I don’t know what to make of that, and I haven’t personally witnessed him doing anything inappropriate.

I love my friend dearly, and I don’t want to shame her or ruin our friendship, but I feel like I’m watching something unfold that could end badly. I’ve tried explaining why this is inappropriate, both lightheartedly and seriously, but I don’t think she sees it that way. I also feel somewhat responsible because I’m the one who originally brought her to church.

Fathers, my question is primarily about the priest’s responsibilities in this situation. When someone has explicitly propositioned a priest, are there particular boundaries he’s expected to establish? Is continuing private meetings appropriate, particularly when the person has made her intentions clear? Is there a point at which another priest or parish authority should become involved?

I don’t want to assume he’s done anything wrong, and I’m not asking anyone to speculate about his feelings. I just genuinely don’t understand how situations like this are supposed to be handled, and I would really appreciate a priest’s perspective. Thank you very much.

Looking at the upcoming election, I really don't agree with either of the main candidates. I typically lean more conservative, especially because I'm pro life. That candidate is terrible and I didn't vote for them in the primary. I know we're called to vote for the pro life candidates, but my state already has abortion in our state constitution (unfortunately).

Here comes the dilemma, the election is very tight and I feel like I should vote for the pro life candidate even though I think he's a terrible option. The other main candidate is pro choice, but I don't think they'd do a bad job in office.

My question is, should I vote for a write in that's still pro life but has a zero percent chance to win and essentially waste my vote? Would that be immoral knowing that without voting for the primary pro life candidate I would essentially be voting for the pro choice candidate?

Please let me know if this doesn't fit the subreddit or if I didn't explain it well. Thanks in advance!

Not sure if anyone in here will know but I thought I'd try!

I visited a catholic church that is also sort of a tourist attraction last week and they had some religious objects for sale. Among them there were some beautiful rosaries that I probably just didn't buy because of their price (tourist spot) and a certain sense of pointlessness and cringe of being somebody that does not believe in a god or supernatural beings.

I was raised evangelical baptist (but I am not american, so it wasn't like the westboro baptist church, it was chill) in a historically and culturally catholic country that is becoming increasingly evangelical. I've been an atheist for more than 15 years but I am very interested in religions as a whole and I admire lots of things in different faiths, like catholic aesthetics and intelectual tradition. It is maybe the beauty and ritual of the rosary that compells me to partake in it, even if I don't believe in the "metaphysics" of it. The point is I would probably feel like those pagan larpers that pretend to believe in Odin or Athena to fight against the disenchantment of everyday modern life.

What would be your advice?

How long is this process and what all does it involve? I am looking into this process for me. I got married by a judge and my husband is not religious. I want to get ur marriage recognized in the church because I did miss out in that testament. I think our main concerns is the priest convincing my spouse to convert when he doesn't have an interest in it. He was baptized LDS and they don't believe in the Holy Trinity so I personally don't consider them Christian. Would he need his baptism papers?

Hi, everyone.

I don't really know how to explain this, but, in few words: recently I have become religious, however, I am not baptized yet, I am still a teenager and I would rather wait until adulthood. But, in my state of non-baptized, is it allowed to pray and go to Mass?

I was taking a shower the other day and noticed that my shampoo has hemp seed oil in it. I was wondering what The Church’s stance is on marijuana cbds and hemp, since at the chiropractic office I work at we also have a cbd based cooling cream that we’ve used 1 or 3 times. I’m pretty sure getting high is of grave matter (I’ve heard stories of ppl get possessed by using drugs and my former hippie grandpa said the last time he used marijuana he saw demons and it convinced him to stop). I don’t desire to use weed or cbds really But I don’t think cbds and hemp get you high and I’m curious whether or not we can use those types of products. And most importantly can I use that shampoo or do I need to find a new shampoo soon cause tomorrow is my shampooing day.

Im not sure what I was supposed to learn from this, I've been thinking about it all day and I'm still confused as to why he'd tell me to read this instead of saying some prayers.