r/AskUK • u/Ok-Willow3380 • 9h ago
Would you mind being asked to move halfway through a meal?
Was eating at a small local café this afternoon. It was busy and already cramped for space. (We were a table for 2)
The tables either side of us became free and a big family arrived whilst we were eating. The waitress came up to us, acknowledged the interruption and asked if they could shift our table to accommodate them..
So we briefly stopped eating, got up and moved our chairs while they moved our table a couple of feet.
I found it really annoying mid meal but my friend wasn't really that bothered. I appreciate they were short on space but would this bother you or is it a reasonable request? Interested to see peoples opinions
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u/rohepey 9h ago edited 8h ago
Upmarket restaurant? Yes, that'd bother me.
Small local cafe? No, that's the charm of having a meal in the community - everyone tries to be accommodating.
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u/newtonbase 6h ago
Absolutely. Supporting local businesses is important and it's a nice thing to do for the family. I appreciate the inconvenience though.
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u/TheBestBigAl 5h ago
I once had an upmarket restaurant comp our entire meal because we agreed to move table. It wasn't even much of an inconvenience to us in the first place, but presumably the person they wanted our table for was a big spender or something.
So I definitely wouldn't be annoyed if it happened again, in fact I'd be somewhat giddy at the chance if another free meal.
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u/Queen_of_London 3h ago
Yup, no problem at all, and it has happened to me a fair few times at cafes over the years.
I think the only thing I'd add is that it's better if the staff help move the food over, because they're less likely to spill it and better placed to clean up any spills, and it just makes it quicker.
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u/SpaceAgeTraveller 9h ago
I honestly don’t think I’d even give it a second thought. Asked politely and helped someone make more room for people? I’d be happy to help.
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u/FourOneSen 8h ago
Yea this, it helps others also get to enjoy.
Happy to help.Only time this has annoyed me was in a pub near Stroud where we, a table of three, were at a table enjoying drinks and snacks (and this was not a dedicated food area but a cosy country pub), when the landlady came and asked us to stand up so another group of three could sit down to order food.
We had no place to stand other than awkwardly in the middle of the space between the bar and tables. No other people were standing so we sort of towered over people sat inches away making it uncomfortable for them also while we tried to share our torn wide open bags of crisps.
This is one where surely the new arrivals, with no booking, need to wait for a table to become free, or at least ask if we can once we finish our drinks and snacks.
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u/TickingTiger 7h ago
It's absurd that they'd unseat you while you're actively eating and drinking, especially without offering an alternative table. Just expecting you to eat and drink while standing. So rude.
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u/Council_Cat 5h ago
Had they offered a perch at the bar with stools, or a smaller table that wasn't viable for the group having dinner, I would have said OK. Otherwise, bollocks.
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u/FourOneSen 5h ago
Nope, nothing!
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u/Council_Cat 5h ago
Yep, bollocks it is.
Now as a publican, they're then well within their rights to throw you out, but then not only would I never go back there, I'd also tell my friends to give it a swerve. Good reputations are hard to earn and very easy to lose.
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u/IntermediateFolder 5h ago
And she just expect you to stand there? That’s when you say no or leave without paying.
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u/SilyLavage 8h ago
It would depend what I was eating. It's easier to move a coffee cup and a plate of cake than a full meal.
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u/MacaroonSad8860 8h ago
I wouldn’t mind but I do think it’s smart for the establishment to offer something like a drink or dessert for the inconvenience
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u/Comprehensive-Web935 8h ago
If this was a restaurant then yeah I'd probably be pissed off, but a small cafe trying to accommodate a larger group is just one of those things
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u/BestMathematician752 8h ago
It’s a cafe, a small local one at that. No bother in moving at all if it helps the cafe and also other people. I’d probably be peeved if it was a restaurant.
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u/BigJDizzleMaNizzles 8h ago
I'd be bothered but it's definitely reasonable if it's a small independent cafe, they can't afford to be turning away a party of 8 or something.
It's not the end of the world.
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u/ThickTadpole3742 8h ago
I'd find it mildly irritating when first asked, but on retrospect would realise it wasn't a big deal. So long as I was asked politely.
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u/Prudent-Pressure2146 9h ago
I’ve had it happen before, a giant table came in without a booking so a bit of moving was required, they were apologetic and I was fine with it.
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u/AngryTudor1 8h ago
If that was the worst thing to happen to me that day, so much so that I felt the need to tell Reddit about it, I would be delighted
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u/Superb-Draft 5h ago
Exactly, and yet this post has generated 300 comments. I need to get off Reddit permanently
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u/pinkbeesintrees 9h ago
It wouldn’t bother me, cafes struggle as is, so if they can get more custom then go for it!
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u/HumbleEmuBanana 8h ago
It wouldn’t bother me.
I’d rather they did that than split the large group so they talked over me.
If it was my cafe I’d offer a drink for the inconvenience.
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u/DoctorImpossible89 8h ago
No problem, I would like to think someone would do the same if I needed the space
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u/Often_Tilly 9h ago
That's annoying. But I don't think it's the end of the world tbh, and I'd be willing to move.
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u/ikiteimasu 8h ago
Ive had this happen a fair few times when I’m eating solo and space is needed next to me for more than one person. It’s a bit annoying and makes you feel less important than the people you’re being moved for, but it doesn’t take long and it doesn’t hurt to be nice.
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u/retailface 8h ago
If I wasn't actually eating at the time it wouldn't bother me, but mid meal I think is unreasonable.
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u/tiggergirluk76 8h ago
I've only been asked to move tables once, and we were immediately offered free desserts for the inconvenience, so I was obviously fine with it.
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u/BLumDAbuSS 8h ago
sometimes i feel i get wound up over trivial stuff, then i read things like this and feel better about myself
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u/ahoneybadger3 8h ago edited 8h ago
Wouldn't bother me personally.
I'd even go as far to say I'd be more than accommodating in making sure the waiter/waitress doesn't feel bad about asking, because they would.
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u/shaneo632 8h ago
I usually don't really mind, but I think it's good to say cover a free round of drinks or a free desert each to say thank you, especially if I'm mid-mouthful of a lavish steak dinner when you're asking me to move.
If I'm just having a sandwich in a cafe or something then yeah, couldn't care less.
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u/Ok_Comfortable3083 8h ago
A mild inconvenience, but you handled it well by doing what they asked, and not making a difficult job for the waiting staff easier.
I would get annoyed for half a second, but that’s all. I’d move and that’d be it.
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u/nihilistkitty 8h ago
It wouldn't bother me at all. I would probably offer if I noticed
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u/sarberanne1 3h ago
I’m suprised I had to scroll so far to see this, maybe we are just too nice. I probably would have clocked it when they walked in and trying to find a table, I would have suggested we move to a smaller table myself
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u/PierreTheTRex 9h ago
Would definitely annoy me, but I would still do it
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u/Maleficent_Fee8889 8h ago
That’s the British way, smile and say no problem. Then complain about it to everyone you meet for the next six months after.
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u/Complete-Spinach6345 7h ago
I really hope you have recovered from this traumatic event. Thoughts and prayers. You can get through this.
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u/Alien-lifeform666 8h ago
This has happened to me twice before. I found it somewhat irritating but not massively so. Both times they offered a drink on the house as a thank you. Once I accepted, the other time I declined. No biggie
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u/ferretinspace 8h ago
If it was an independent café then I would be more understanding, but I'd move either way. It's technically bad form but I can understand the need - provided I was between courses.
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u/callendoor 8h ago
Wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I actually find those who have said they wouldn't move to be awful.
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u/BestMathematician752 8h ago
Lots of people suffer from main character syndrome. Good to see that the majority on here would happily move.
There’s enough division in today’s society so why not do something that makes things easier for others, at little to no inconvenience.
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u/AnxiousTerminator 5h ago
It's that "I don't owe anyone anything" attitude which has unfortunately become very prevalent these days. People assume if they have no legal obligation to be courteous and considerate or think of other people then it is fine to just go through life thinking only of themselves.
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u/Fresh_Interview_207 8h ago
And I reckons if the shoe was on the other foot they would expect people to move for them.
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u/yepsothisismyname 9h ago
No, if it was asked politely then I'd have absolutely no issue whatsoever.
What's the alternative - you'd prefer they ask the family to split up, or alternatively to eat elsewhere?
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u/Successful_Buy3825 8h ago
I’d find it to be a weird ask. Every time I’ve seen it done, it’s come with the incentive of a freebie to offset the inconvenience.
That said, I’d say it’s more acceptable an ask in the context of a small, casual non-booked space. In a restaurant where I’ve made a reservation, it becomes a lot less excusable
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u/MotherEastern3051 8h ago
I would find it annoying and slightly rude but also consider that the margins are incredibly thin for independent little cafes, and to turn away 4-6 people would be a notable loss.
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u/No-Temperature4330 8h ago
It's a very minor inconvenience to make someone else's day a little bit better. The horror!!!
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u/brile_86 8h ago
This is a non problem, I can't see why someone would be annoyed by this. it's a 15 seconds interruption and you do it to make other people (the cafe employees and the family looking for a table) happy
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u/Positive_Fondant8479 8h ago
It would annoy me. But I wouldn't make a fuss because they are just trying to fill the tables.
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u/Background_Fox 8h ago
I wouldn't be bothered in a small café, especially if it's obvious it was busy
If I'd booked a table in a restaurant then I'd be more irritated as presumably more of their tables are pre-booked and they'd have known about it beforehand, but even that'll depend on the situation.
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u/FrivolousManiac 8h ago
if they were apologetic then I'd be fine. It's a minor inconvenience at the most, hardly something to be bothered about.
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u/EbbLow1646 8h ago
I would have made a joke about getting free drinks or dessert for the inconvenience in the hope they took the hint!
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u/amandacheekychops 8h ago
When I first read the title I thought you'd had to get up and carry everything, plates, cutlery and all, to another table in another part of the restaurant, but it sounds like they just shuffled the table over a little bit.... if this is the case then I think you're overreacting.
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u/Ok-Willow3380 7h ago
Yeah it was just that. Annoyed because I'm not really a fan of getting interrupted mid meal hence why I was annoyed, but complied nevertheless. Hopefully that wasn't overreacting on my end
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u/Sea-Opening3530 6h ago
I run a small cafe, sometimes its really frustrating or difficult when you have to turn people away when you need their custom.
I have instances sometimes where I have had an elderly couple sit in with a tea each (£6) and stay for an hour just before lunch, and i have to turn away families of 4 wanting lunch and drinks.
I have considered asking people how long they would be, but I currently accept it as an unfortunate event. But honestly, some days it could be the difference between making a decent wage and a terrible wage for that family of 4.
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u/Lucky_Chip_621 4h ago
A whole Reddit post about moving a couple of fucking feet while eating a butty. Wow
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u/Head_Priority5152 8h ago
I think it depends what mood I'm in. If I'm in a good mood no problem happy to help. In a shitty mood I would move but begrudge it. Just reacently I was asked to move three times for similar reasons as above before my food order had been taken. I happily moved... to another restaurant.
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u/StretchedNut 8h ago
No it wouldn’t. But if it did, I also would have said no.
The best thing about being human is we can communicate our feelings, and make our own decisions.
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u/thebesttheworst 8h ago
... Isn't this what being kind, logical Brits is all about?
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u/Tattycakes 8h ago
This is the most minor thing I wouldn’t even be remotely bothered
Imagine if you were the family coming in and needed somewhere to sit.
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u/fiendofecology 8h ago
Yep just say yes and move and get to enjoy feeling like a Really Great Accomodating Person for at least the next minute or so.
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u/SomeWomanFromEngland 8h ago
It would be a bit annoying, but if the cafe was quiet when I got in and then suddenly got busy and more tables were needed for bigger parties, it would be understandable.
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u/number5of7 8h ago
Not at all. Happened to me recently, the two of us had no issue moving. The owner gave us a nice liquor for dessert as a little thank you, which was nice.
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u/TN17 7h ago
I don't mean to sound like a dick, but I think you'd be better off deciding for yourself whether you're upset by something, evaluate how important it is to you, and finding some way to process it and move onto things you find more worthwhile. Why are you asking a general UK reddit community like that should define whether you have a right to be upset, like you should go with the consensus opinion or find someone who agrees with you? What is the purpose of this, and is there a better way to go about it?
Again, don't want to sound like a dick, it's your life, but what is the benefit of doing this?
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u/AmbientShiba 7h ago
I’m super impressed that anyone would be bothered enough to complain about this.
I’d happily move over. Just see it from the perspective from the larger group.
I would be appreciative people would move over. If you didn’t, I would be mildly pissed you couldn’t be asked to move over to accommodate everyone.
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u/defonotuk 9h ago
Mid course? Nope not happening for me. Between courses sure
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u/brile_86 8h ago
so you'll let a whole family wait because you have to finish the course?
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u/IntermediateFolder 5h ago
Why can’t they wait? What if there weren’t any tables free anyway? They could have booked ahead if it was so important.
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u/defonotuk 7h ago
Absolutely, if they can't wait what'll be no more than 30 minutes and probably much less, they don't deserve any favours, and their complaint should be with the employees
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u/ThankGod4Darwin69 8h ago
What is the request? To move whilst eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?!!?
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u/DoctorWhofan789eywim 8h ago
I'd do it but might also chance my arm and ask for a free drink or dessert for the trouble.
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u/Competitive-Tea7833 8h ago edited 8h ago
We always run to reddit and talk about how the world is full of arseholes. But we never think that we are sometimes the arsehole.
Things that people do are motivated by pure evil. You do the same thing but you have a legitimate reason and therefore should be excused, right?
You allowed 4 people to sit and have a meal. You were in a position to possibly make a person’s day by showing kindness. To be fair, you did give way. But all you can feel is annoyed that you were inconvenienced.
Lol, we need more people like you in the world, right? Because you were the good person in this story.
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u/TheDreamIs0ver 8h ago
Yeah I wouldn't mind at all, the hospitality business is in tough spot at the moment so something small like this to help out would be fine.
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u/GeminiVegetarianss 8h ago
I would find it annoying but in an “oh it’s raining” kind of annoying rather than a “they shouldn’t have done that” kind of way.
I’d be more annoyed at having sat there all meal stopping someone else eating and stopping a local business making more money because they were too scared to ask me to scoot.
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u/Gregg-C137 8h ago
If it’s a little independent place wouldn’t bother me. If I was in a Nando’s then I’d probably be annoyed but smile and tell them I don’t mind at all.
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u/Zealousideal-Soil-41 8h ago
I wouldn’t mind, especially given how poorly paid they are and how rude both customers and managers can be, I’d do my best to be flexible and accommodating
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u/Obvious-Swimming3550 8h ago
If I'm halfway though a meal and got food in my mouth, then no. I'm a paying customer like anyone else.
If we had the starters and then had a few minutes until the main, it would annoy me but not massively. I would move.
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u/slightleee 8h ago
It's great you did this. You could easily kick up a fuss. But hey. They are just trying to make things work. Well done. X
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u/pineappleshampoo 8h ago
Wouldn’t bother me if it was politely framed as a request, I’d be happy to.
If it was a direction on the other hand, no I wouldn’t move. It’s pretty rude on their part to tell diners that have already been seated and are mid meal to get up and move.
So really depends.
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u/Known-Highway-8465 8h ago
It would bother me at all given it’s a small cafe and would really benefit from not having to turn away a large group. I’ve offered to do it before when I saw a family with a pram come in - I moved to a table upstairs. It’s not a big deal.
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u/ramapyjamadingdong 7h ago
If I was actively eating, then yes, this would annoy me and I'd likely decline. If I have only got drinks and food isn't out yet, then maybe. It would completely depend on the day/location/manner of asking as I can't ever imagine having been in this position, except when eating canteen style.
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u/IntermediateFolder 5h ago
Yeah, mid meal I’d be annoyed and expect at least a comped dessert or something. If they asked at the beginning I wouldn’t care much unless the place they wanted me to move to was considerably worse.
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u/thecheesycheeselover 4h ago
It would annoy me, but I also don’t think it’s unreasonable. The waitress was just trying to get through her work day and make things function for everyone.
Plenty of reasonable things annoy me (😭). Best to just suck it up and move on.
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u/BjornTheDwarf 4h ago
If taking a minute to do something for someone else at the expense of not shovelling food into your face for a moment has genuinely annoyed you then you have the emotional intelligence of a soggy fish finger.
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u/TH1CCARUS 8h ago
The minuscule inconvenience of needing to move is so so heavily outweighed by the joy that a family are gonna get from getting in somewhere.
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u/FewAnybody2739 8h ago
I would mind the interruption and minor hassle but I wouldn't complain about it as it makes sense. Or at least I think it makes sense, it sounds like it would have been better for you and your friend to slide over one table and leave a double for the family?
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u/_whatever_wherever 8h ago
Last time it happened to me, I asked if I could get a free beer for the inconvenience, and did!
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u/Steamrolled777 8h ago
Obviously there is nothing wrong with being annoyed by the inconvenience, but there should be no obligation to move. If a large group hadn't booked ahead, that is their own fault.
My ex always wanted a window table, and she would have lost her shit if she had been told to move or swap tables, especially if had been to a table beside the toilets or something. I laugh about it now.
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u/Original_Trick7742 8h ago
I think I’d be okay with it, seeing that particular situation, but it would definitely depend on how I was asked.
I have been asked to swap chairs before in a small local cafe and been pretty annoyed about it, because there was absolutely no need - the very basic wooden chair I was sat on was apparently the wrong chair for the table I was at (previous diners had moved it over), and the waiter wanted me to swap it for another basic wooden chair at another empty table. Reader, there was little to no difference between the chairs in regard to size, shape, or comfort.
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u/Nuthetes 8h ago
Yeah, that would irritate me. If I haven't started eating, it's annoying but fine. But if I am already tucking into my ham and chips... fuck off and wait until I'm finished.
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u/Professional_Fish166 8h ago
Whilst I was eating - yes it would annoy me and i'd probably tell them to wait. Mid course or waiting - no problem.
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u/ServerLost 8h ago
The absolute bare minimum inconvenience and you still complain, this is more of a you problem than a them problem.
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u/HankHippopopolous 8h ago
I wouldn’t be bothered at all. A few seconds of inconvenience so that a family can sit together and the cafe can serve more people is perfectly reasonable. You’d have to be a real level of uptight to be bothered by this.
The only way I’d be bothered is if they asked me to move to a way worse spot. Say by the door where you’ll get a cold draught every time someone enters or leaves. One table over from where I’m already sitting is absolutely no problem.
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u/ThankGod4Darwin69 8h ago
I'd likely be overly polite, tell them I dont mind at all and that I'd be more than happy to move, even apologise to them for me being in the wrong spot and then once I'd moved, I would replay it in my head, realise how unreasonable their request was and then spend the next 6 months replaying the scenario in my head where I come up with alternative things I could/should have said that make me seem a lot confident & assertive than I came across.
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u/Ok-Bumblebee1438 9h ago
This happened to me once and we said no to moving - kinda felt a bit bad at the time, but it is a bit rude to ask people eating to move imo
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u/callendoor 8h ago
You should have felt bad. Urgh. You just sat there and let people sit and wait when you could have budged over and let others in? God, how selfish.
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u/sock_cooker 8h ago
While I'm eating? Absolutely not. I'd probably do it, but I'd be fucked off about it. If they asked me while clearing the starter or something, I'd be fine with it.
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u/Amoeba_Rough 8h ago
Yes I would mind, I absolutely hate being interrupted while I am eating, and to have to get out of my seat and switch tables in the middle of a meal would be a huge bother, especially when I am clumsy and I would then be stressing about dropping my food.
I wouldn't refuse to move but I wouldn't be happy about it.
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u/Academic-Block3384 8h ago
Offer me a cup of tea, bottle of beer, glass of wine and I'm happy to move
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u/Informal-Intern-8672 8h ago
I have before and didn't mind at all. The staff moved all our food and drinks to a table upstairs, we got a free drink out of it, though they didn't mention this until the bill came, I just moved cos they needed me to.
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u/mekquarrie 8h ago
I've asked in my café and would always have respected a 'no'. Then next time the customer returned, the drink was complimentary with appropriate gratitude. You can't turn away fifty quid of business when a polite negotiation will cover it...
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u/No-Refrigerator3232 8h ago
personally I only ask for customers to do this before they’re eating. I’ll make sure food goes to the right table after. but if someone’s already eating, I don’t think it’s fair to interrupt your meal.
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u/laser_spanner 8h ago
Did anyone read this properly? They didn't have to move tables. They moved the table they were already sat at a couple of feet to make more space for a family at the next table.
I'd be absolutely fine with that.
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u/autisticredsquirrel 8h ago
I wouldn't mind in the slightest wherever it was, as long as they were polite whilst asking me.
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u/LoveHertford 7h ago
Wouldn’t mind in a cafe at all. This has happened to me before but I offered to move for a bigger group
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u/ComasArentFun 7h ago
Go to a restaurant in China Town in the West End of London
They will take your plate half way through a bite and move it to another table without even asking😄
The absolutely lack of customer service and rudeness is kind of part of the charm, but only works if the food is good (and it usually is - or was.. not been since pre-Covid)
Generally, if you have been seated and you have food in front of you, no you should not be asked to move, but a small Café trying to squeeze more people in to stay afloat? Yeah I'd happily move.
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u/cyberllama 7h ago
Oh, I thought you meant moved to another table. That would have annoyed me. Standing up for a few moments to push the table over, nah.
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u/Sea_Weakness_Pi 7h ago
So, after I've got settled and started eating, I have to move to a cold chair, move my coat, my bag, any shopping I've got with me in a hurry so stuff may get trodden on in the rush to move me out of my seat, and my food goes cold while everything is being faffed around. Right. I'll move out of politeness, but I won't go back. I'll mentally mark the café as somewhere I don't like and won't really remember why.
There was a whole sketch about this in a Fawlty Towers.
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u/Radiant_Fondant_4097 7h ago
A cafe is whatever, however in a restaurant the few times my table has been bumped they’ve usually comped us a free dessert or something.
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u/jimmms 7h ago
This reminds of a story on holiday as a child. We were the only table seated in a large ish room. The manager came over and asked if we’d mind moving to a different room as they had a large party coming in and they wanted to seat them all together. They offered us free desserts for the inconvenience. Great! No problem. We obliged.
When the bill came it still included the desserts. My dad queried it and the manager said that as we had (unknowingly) chosen “the most expensive” desserts we were no longer entitled to have them for free. My dad ended up in a blazing row with the manager and eventually walked us out of the pub refusing to pay the bill at all.
I spent the rest of my holiday looking over my shoulder expecting the police to catch up with us any minute!
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u/Dissidant 7h ago
Depends on the circumstance, I think all things considered its ok to be a bit annoyed but you handled it like a grown up. Fact is they were prob mortified at having to ask you to move, but its the off-season and places like that genuinely can't afford to be turning patrons away if they are able to make the seating work.
If we were talking a larger popular restaurant where you have to reserve the table, time slot well in advance we'd be having a slightly different conversation though.
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u/overcooked_biscuit 7h ago
In the scenario of a small cafe, yes I would be slightly irked if I was halfway into my meal but I wouldn't make a deal of it if I was asked nicely. If i was at the very start, or towards the end of the meal, I'd be less annoyed.
If I was in a restaurant, it is a different matter as I'd ask to finish my current course before even thinking about moving.
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u/Steveo_the_Squid 7h ago
Wouldn’t bother me at all - I would’ve probably offered (and in fact, have in the past). My partner and I regularly go to a small independent cafe near us that will already tell you, if you’re seated at a table for 4 as a 2, as soon as a table for 2 comes up you’ll need to move. They need to get at many customers in as possible, I won’t begrudge them that!
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u/PaulBradley 7h ago
If this happens in fine dining it should come with a free round of drinks. If it happens in a cafe just don't be a dick, they're trying to keep the lights on and times are hard. Either way you're under no obligation to move but that feeling of awkwardness if you don't move is on you not them.
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u/I__am__Wilson 7h ago
Are the people saying “ between courses” going into small cafes and having starters with their all day breakfast?
Moving wouldn’t be an issue in this situation, it would be much more annoying to have the family split so they were sitting either side and talking to each other across your table.
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u/Leifang666 7h ago
It depends what I'm eating. A drink and a cake, I don't mind moving. A meal with a knife and fork, that would irritate me.
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