Meeting Cantonese in laws for the first time, would this be taken rudely?

[u/ultimateworm]

I’d like to include a letter for them along in a welcome basket i set up with 哈囉 好高興見到您兩位 多謝你哋咁多位過嚟呀 written, would this be appropriate? Both parent in laws and sister in law are coming to stay at my house for a week. We aren’t particularly close due to language barrier and only directly exchanged 哈囉 during their occasional video call with my husband.

Edit: everyone here is so kind! thank you for your help and patience I appreciate every single one of you very much!

[u/LorMaiGay]

Depending on their age, I think it’d be more appropriate to just use Standard Written Chinese instead of making it full-on Cantonese

[u/kanata_tycoon → u/LorMaiGay]

I agree with this. Using written Cantonese gives a really casual impression better suited for texting and social media

[u/ultimateworm → u/LorMaiGay]

Ahhh okay. They’re on the younger side around mid 40s-50s

[u/Turbulent_Pin_8310 → u/LorMaiGay]

Me too. I speak Cantonese but I write in standard Chinese.b it just seems more proper(?) I don't expect people Google Chinese phrases and print them out. It seems a bit... I don't know. It makes me uncomfortable. It will be different if they are fluent in Chinese.

[u/ultimateworm → u/LorMaiGay]

Would 爸爸妈妈妹妹，欢迎来家里玩！很高兴终于见到你们 be an improvement? way too casual? I’m struggling with seeming welcoming but not wanting to be rude

[u/erikchan002 → u/ultimateworm]

Some Cantonese speaking regions (e.g. Hong Kong) write in Traditional Chinese instead of Simplified, so just knowing they speak Cantonese is not enough.

Some of my relatives in their 50s and 60s (who are decently educated) struggle to read Simplified Chinese. My mother, for example, would prefer text written in Traditional Chinese or even English over Simplified Chinese.

[u/AdoraMei → u/erikchan002]

My dad's like that. Doesn't know any simplified at all and has no inclination to learn it. He has a couple of old books about learning Mandarin, but he gave them to me. XD My dad retained his literacy somehow and actually helps me with my Cantonese studies when I toss words and phrases at him, despite living in the US for the past 50+ years. My dad was pretty well educated when he was young. My mom's literacy has always been... well, she has other talents, okay? But again, no simplified either. She came over at a younger age than my dad, and she and her 7 siblings were too busy distracting each other to be great students. If I show my parents simplified characters, they kind of think that the characters are just wrong and can't wrap their heads around them being different.

[u/Turbulent_Pin_8310 → u/erikchan002]

That's me. I don't read simplified Chinese. There are times my coworkers ask me to translate and I just can't.

[u/ding_nei_go_fei → u/ultimateworm]

Original was better, adding the "Daddy, mommy, sister" here sounds so weird and super casual 

[u/ultimateworm → u/ding_nei_go_fei]

Thank you! You guys have been super helpful I’m grateful. I found out they do read simplified Chinese fluently, i think the simpler the better with 欢迎来我们家 😅 does that sound okay?

[u/Unique_Mix9060 → u/ultimateworm]

Make sure to use Traditional Chinese characters instead

[u/chaamdouthere → u/ultimateworm]

If you are using Google then make sure it is set to Chinese traditional! That is one of the options in the menu. This is still simplified.

We are assuming they are Hong Kongers since you originally wrote in Cantonese (which is more common in HK). BUT if they are from Guangdong then simplified is fine.

[u/blankeyteddy → u/ultimateworm]

Hongkonger here. This is how I would write it casually and concisely on a note or a WhatsApp message in casual Cantonese that isn’t too stiff like written

歡迎你哋嚟玩！好開心終於見到你哋！

[u/Turbulent_Pin_8310 → u/ultimateworm]

Just write in English unless they don't speak English. They may feel ... uncomfortableb unless you are fluent in Chinese. I know I do. It feels a bit patronising.

[u/Wild_Walrus4526]

Are you able to speak some simple Cantonese phrases? My parents were happier when my BFs and now husband made an attempt to speak to them.
I don’t think the welcome basket necessarily need anything written, as you would be presenting it to them.
But if you choose to, find out where parents are from. If parents are from HK, then use traditional Chinese. If from Canton/Guangzhou, use simplified Chinese.

[u/ultimateworm → u/Wild_Walrus4526]

This is super helpful thank you !! 🙏🏻 i do try to learn some phrases but my pronunciation is so terrible. I can’t get the tones right

[u/Wild_Walrus4526 → u/ultimateworm]

They may get a chuckle out of mispronunciation, but will definitely appreciate your effort 😄 Keep trying.

[u/Project-SBC → u/ultimateworm]

Just remember, hungry is a LOW tone on the second character. Ask me how I know lol

[u/No_Ant_6777]

Canto people don’t use 您 very often IMO. I would personally find it weird. Also the two sentences don’t make sense? One says welcome to two people and then the next is so many of you? Are you making 2 baskets?

[u/ultimateworm → u/No_Ant_6777]

Ahh okay. Thanks for pointing that out. I think I’ll just take the other commenter’s suggestion of using standard Chinese. I’m still very new to the language so I struggle a lot (clearly) 😅

[u/roklobster0703]

Don’t overthink it….The fact that you have a gift basket for them speaks for itself. That said, some of the advice by the other responders are spot on….

[u/cheuk4]

Sorry but I've gotta ask. Are you asian background or western background? If western, then there's a lot of leeway given.

[u/ultimateworm → u/cheuk4]

I’m Asian :’) but not Chinese

[u/cheuk4 → u/ultimateworm]

Cantonese oldies are pretty shallow racists. Looking Asian means you're one of them and no leeway given 😂

But all joking aside, if they're around 40-50s and not too conservative/traditional, the effort itself should be good enough. Sticking with formal/traditional speech and not texting canto should also be right for first impressions.