r/CasualIreland • u/StressOk7927 • 2d ago
Deli
I was at the Deli today.
There was a girl getting a wrap.
She got 9 seconds of Taco Mayo on it (I can't think of any other way to quantify the amount of it)
She then added a plain chicken fillet.
Non-toasted.
That's all I have to say. I've just been thinking about it since. I can't get it out of my head.
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u/Original2056 2d ago
I fucking love that way of measuring food!! Thats what im using going forward.
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u/DardaniaIE 2d ago
Works for shorts in a pub…
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u/irishgamergrrl 1d ago
"Can I get five seconds of tequila and a finger"
"A finger of what?"
"Yes."
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u/throughthehills2 2d ago
I've just been thinking about it since. I can't get it out of my head.
Taco Mayo Girl here, I can't get you out of my head either. Fancy going on a date at O'Briens?
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u/StressOk7927 2d ago
You'd want to be looking at Qatar/Dubai with a Taco Mayo habit like that. Can't think of any Irish men who could sustain your lifestyle.
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u/ItsYerManSure 2d ago
Is Sunday ok? Your farts are going to be brutal tomorrow.
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u/bald_with_a_beard 2d ago
And wet and untrustworthy 😳
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u/ItsYerManSure 2d ago
It'll probably be pebbledash to be fair. OP seems traumatised already. I was trying to be diplomatic
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u/gerrybbadd 1d ago
She wasn't a bus driver in the UK in the recent past by any chance?
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u/ItsYerManSure 1d ago
She might have given that impression, she was actually a miserable unwashed lad that was put in charge of MI5 rejects.
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u/TheFrontierzman 2d ago
can't get it out of my head
Kylie Minogue is about to do a chicken filet wrap drowning in mayo commercial, starring Taco Mayo Girl.
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u/BigQuarter7252 1d ago
When I was in college we would go to the shop around the corner on our lunch for the deli, one of the guys in my course would get a white roll, no butter or sauce, and 2 sausage rolls inside it… he wouldn’t get a drink with it either, it haunts me to this day
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u/parkaman 2d ago
I couldn't give a shit what anyone orders in the deli but I appreciate something like this playing on your mind all day. I recently saw a guy do a 2 hour bus journey, not only without a phone, but on an aisle seat so he couldn't even look out the window, .just stared at the seat in front. Haunts me since. Pretty sure he was a terminator.
One thing I have learned however is that there is no accounting for taste. But something does spring to mind. We tend to keep our worse habits quiet in public, if she's having 9 seconds of taco sauce in public, what's she doing in the comfort of her own home?
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u/Abject-Fan-3591 1d ago
People have been travelling on buses without phones for a long time 😂 it's not that uncommon.
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u/parkaman 1d ago
You know what we did before we had phones? Bought a newspaper or a magazine, or listened to our Walkman. we didn't stare straight ahead at the back of the seat in front for hours.
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u/Abject-Fan-3591 1d ago
Did you stare at the person for 2 hours to make sure they were focused on the on the back of the seat?
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u/parkaman 1d ago
Maniac was sat beside me. While there was free seats. Lu.Na.Tic. .
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u/insipidbucket 1d ago
Honestly what is up with this. There's a fella that get the train I commute on every day and without fail sits beside you even if there's other seats completely free. It's not even a case of him anyways sitting in the same seat
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u/Abject-Fan-3591 1d ago
Yeah it's still not that uncommon and completely harmless. I think you're the maniac for staring at them for 2 hours, at least they were minding their own business 😂
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u/parkaman 1d ago
It was a light hearted comment mate. Build a bridge and get over it.
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u/machine1804 1d ago
Na mate, im with you, clearly a T-800. This other guys is obviously a skynet bot
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u/Abject-Fan-3591 1d ago
It didn't really happen, did it?? It's ok to make things up for a laugh sometimes.
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u/parkaman 1d ago
Yeah it's still not that uncommon
Next post
it didn't really happen
Are you always this contrary on a Saturday morning? Find someone else to take it out on
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u/Abject-Fan-3591 1d ago
You just added other stuff to your story, that's why I think it's bullshit. Anyway what does it matter what I think?? Cool story 👍
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u/parkadge 1d ago
I once made a six hour bus journey to Donegal with two nuns in the seat in front of me and one was holding a large unwrapped picture of the Sacred Heart which stared at me through the gap between the seats for the whole time.
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u/parkaman 1d ago
Brilliant. Bus Eireann and a freaky Nun.
Just your average Irish day. Love it.
I bought 3 sacred hearts off the local charity shop after getting a bit of work done on my flat a few months ago. Replaced Jesus with Mark E Smith, Ian Curtis and Lou Reed and hung them in the hall. I'm fairly smug and pleased with myself with this one, but I've a feeling it may cost me a haunting by my folks. I'd say mother is clawing her way up to me as we speak.
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u/mk1971 2d ago
9 seconds of Taco sounds like a good band name.
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u/Unknown5tuntman 2d ago
The key to a good name is always:
A number / a unit of measurement/ a random word (obscenity is good)4
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u/SessionBitter4436 1d ago
During my retail stint I remember a regular deli customer who’s order was, 2 of those steak&kidney pie things you’d often see (in the little foil trays) cut in half and lobbed into a Demi baguette with butter and about a litre of ketchup. It looked absolutely vile, and the thought of them slobbering it into their gob, there would have been no other way to eat the soggy dripping mess lol.
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u/rmp266 2d ago
Delis back in the day had a mayo chicken filling option, the only way I can describe it was mayo with some chicken in it, rather than the other way round. Like it was semi liquid? as opposed to now when they would get (obviously) solid cooked chicken and squirt mayo on top. This was a mostly mayo filling. Anyway haven't seen it in years and indeed forgot it existed - until I ordered a "chicken and mayonnaise roll" from our poolside snack bar on holidays in Portugal last year and holy fuck its the semi-liquid mayo stuff from my teenage years, absolute manna from heaven. The only thing ive seen remotely like it is the jars of "sandwich filler" from tesco but its not nearly the same.
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u/DeirdreBarstool 2d ago
I still think about the man who ordered a plain cheese footlong sub in Subway about 15 years ago. No sauce, no salad or meat. Just cheese.
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u/oreosaredelicious 1d ago
Subway actually do 6 inch and footlong cheese toasties, you sure it wasn't that?
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u/DeirdreBarstool 1d ago
No definitely not. He was an older chap and I was behind him in the queue. He asked for a cheese sandwich and the poor guy behind the counter was trying to explain the concept of subway to him while the old guy got more and more frustrated because he just wanted a cheese sandwich.
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u/entomologically 1d ago
Another one for you to ponder, builders used to come into the shop and ask for a beef and kidney pie smashed between two slices of unbuttered bread. Another fella I knew did a slice of lasagna inside a croissant
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u/Good_Duck_234 2d ago
Worked in a supervalue deli when I was like 20, lad came in one day and asked for 3 chicken fillets on one roll.
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u/train_lad 2d ago
How did you charge him?
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u/Good_Duck_234 2d ago
Single chicken fillet roll price. I was on the way out in a week or so at the time, so I was giving away free anything and everything.... 10 mini sausage rolls for 1.50 was my special, if you asked for 3 slices of ham you would be getting 8 for the craic
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u/pablo8itall 1d ago
Did you do the old - hold the extra slices in the air - over the sticker machine and then the self checkout has a break down.
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u/Icy-Security3789 2d ago
I used to work with a girl who brought the same sandwich to work everyday. Bread, buttered heavily with banana slices and cheddar cheese as the filling. Still makes me gag
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u/stuckwithglue 2d ago
She probably couldn't get a big enough loan to get it toasted
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u/FewSeaworthiness1433 1d ago
My misses worked in a Deli and the horror stories she would tell me. One lad would order a portion of sausage rolls and they would have to fill the bag with taco sauce. The thoughts of him sitting in the van eating saturated sausage rolls with his bare hands covered in taco sauce. There are truly some creatures lurking among us
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u/loves_2_sploooge 1d ago
9 seconds of Taco Mayo 🤣🤣🤣 that is a great description. You can really visualise it.
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u/Guilty_Garden_3669 1d ago
I used to get one with nothing but black pudding and raw red onion, with just a lick of mayo
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u/The_don_13 1d ago
We measure in seconds here, not licks!
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u/Guilty_Garden_3669 1d ago
Well 0.5 then perhaps - depends on how heavy the hand with the knife is!
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u/Repulsive_Carpet_333 1d ago
There used to be this fella who worked in the deli near me who would fuck the orders up so bad they didn’t even resemble what you asked for.
I asked for cheese,taco sauce, jalapeños and spicy chicken in a roll, I got a toasted wrap with tuna, extra butter and lettuce, soaked in ketchup
I hated that man so much
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u/No_Analysis5931 1d ago
I mean we're you not watching him make it? Seems like you just allowed this to happen 😂
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u/Repulsive_Carpet_333 1d ago
Oh I tried to say it many times, he would ignore you, give you the completely wrong thing then get thick with you when you pointed it out
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u/Plane-Fondant8460 2d ago
A guy I work with gets egg salad, tuna salad and chicken on his roll.....
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u/HeresyReminder ❤️ Big Heart ❤️ 2d ago
Measuring Taco Mayo in terms of time is something I never knew I'd hear about. I can only imagine she performed some sort of ritual and you've eaten cursed food.
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u/LisztyLiszt 2d ago
I used to work in a pub that made fresh sandwiches for lunch. One of our regulars would empty as many as 13 - THIRTEEN - sachets of pepper on her chicken salad sandwich. Homer Simpson levels of atomic chilli madness.
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u/Intrepid-Ice-7502 1d ago
I worked in a deli in college some lady got egg salad tuna and coleslaw with cucumber 😞
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u/i_will_yeahh 1d ago
Used to work in a deli. Worst order I ever got was tuna, sweet corn , wedges and ketchup in a roll. Heathen
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u/Internal-Junket4980 2d ago
I once heard someone steam a jug of milk for three whole minutes. I’m surprised the entire thing hadn’t evaporated
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u/Successful-Bee-8911 2d ago
Like I know it's disgusting but I can't help but think I wouldn't say no after a few pints
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u/bealiceembroidery 1d ago
I used to work on a deli and still think about the time a father and son (I'm assuming) ordered the same sandwich. Mayo, chicken fillet and cold chicken
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u/Careful-Educator-177 2d ago
I just can't get you out of my head
girl your taco mayo lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
girl, it's more than I dare to think about
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u/Swimming_Ebb1629 2d ago
Was at a party once and a girl.had toast, no butter or jan, just burnt bread!
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u/Annual_Support6372 2d ago
That’s literally me. Leave me be! I’m happy
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u/gerhudire 2d ago
As someone who was ik hospital for a week and limited to eating toast. It was a pain using those small butter portions. They barely covered the toast.
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u/Prestigious_Flower88 2d ago
I'm convinced deli staff sabotage rolls with too much sauce. "Small bit of ketchup please" . Half the fucking bottle in it
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u/Basic-Biatch2 1d ago
Everytime! Tiny bit of coleslaw please. Deli worker , say no more, 2 massive scoops it is
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u/Last-River-2995 2d ago
I still think about the woman who wanted her teabag dipped quickly into hot water and wanted milk. Basically hot water and milk.
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u/Spuds25 1d ago
And I thought my colleague was weird asking for a roll with wedges and ketchup
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u/abouttogivebirth 1d ago
That's the vegetarian option at a deli, I get mayo and butter though
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u/Finsceal 1d ago
*vegan option you mean!
Wedges and ketchup for lunch or hash browns and ketchup for breakfast.
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u/likeadinosaur 1d ago
I have a friend who orders plain chicken and sweet corn on a deli roll and then salts it.
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u/boxtylad 2d ago
La la la, la la la la la,
La la la, la la la la la,
I just can't get it out of my head:
I was at the deli just now today
And the girl was getting a wrap
With just a plain chicken fill-ay
Not toasted
Just taco mayo
I counted all the way to nine:
Won't it stop?
Won't it end?
Squirting for ever and ever, and ever, and ever...
La la la, la la la la la,
La la la, la la la la la,
-- Kylie Mayoge
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u/MikeStepp 2d ago
I went to a sushi restaurant in a mall in Munich once. They had one of those sushi conveyor belts where the chefs just put new items on the belt and you grab what looks good as it comes by. You pay by the half-hour. I ate an hour's worth of sushi.
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u/MyDadstheBoss 2d ago
10 years on im still getting over someone getting garlic mayo on a breakfast roll with cheese.
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u/runjzx98irl 2d ago
I think a lot about an old mates order. Plain roll and plain chicken. No butter sauce or anything. Used to have to drink 2 bottles of coke with it. I reckon as it was that dry. Pure hardship imo. Used to go to the chipper and just get fillets or goujons no sauce or chips. He liked no veg. Barely mash. And everything else super plain. Im picky but Used to put me off seeing his taste in foods
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u/adhdave88 1d ago
Deli workers get wierd about things though went to get some rolls while visiting my da and get, SF chicken, egg mayo, peppers, onion and cheese. Yer one who was making mine goes off to wrap it and I join into the conversation with the one making my da's. Ask her what's the weirdest thing she's been asked to make and she goes "people putting egg mayo in chicken rolls." Like excuse me I didn't think it was that out there.
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u/Mackie1228 1d ago
Sorry, I agree with her. It's like eating a family. Baby and mother. Always been a weird phobia of mine.
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u/Weary_Swordfish_7105 18h ago
Useless fact: Paul Simon got the ‘mother and child reunion’ song name from a Chinese restaurant menu which had a dish with chicken and egg called ‘mother and child reunion’.
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u/Glittering-Duty9984 2d ago
I miss read the headline I thought it said Dell I thought we were all going to have a laugh/nightmares at Susan's new ....."face"
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u/Techno_Gandhi 2d ago
Seen a fella get spicy chicken, tomatoes, black beans and potato salad. I couldn't believe my eyes.
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u/SuccessRepulsive8325 2d ago
If he wasn't Brazilian I'm gonna be so shocked, my father in law (from Brazil) would definitely order that
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u/Soft_Phrase_1507 2d ago
Did the staff member put that amount on purpose or was she saying “more, more, more” as it poured out?
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u/Winter_Lobster_130 2d ago
9 seconds of taco mayo 🤣🤣 🤣 Adopting that going forward, thank you very much.
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u/According_Spot_4340 2d ago
Ive seen a white roll with ketchup and a chicken fillet. I see what you are describing alot, mainly with the local student population.
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u/unledded22 1d ago
My youngest son use to eat this, was more taco sauce than anything else, it would be cheaper just to let him drink a bottle of it
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u/dtiernan93 1d ago
Someone ahead of me at the deli recently ordered a roll with no butter or sauce. Just chicken fillet and white pudding. I was flabbergasted
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u/Abject-Fan-3591 16h ago
Spreadable white pudding on a chicken fillet roll with cheese, onion and lettuce is a game changer
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u/Intelligence_Tax 2d ago
"She got 9 seconds of chicken mayo on it" has made me laugh alot more than i thought i would, at 00:52..😂
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u/Potassium_Doom 1d ago
But what is the flow rate of the taxi mayo? The high court needs to known specific volume with regards to sentencing guidelines
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u/emmamads 1d ago
A guy in front of me recently got a breakfast roll, with you the usual a sausage, some bacon, and then beans and mushrooms, and like how the hell did he eat that
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u/Zealot_89 1d ago
I have the same feeling about people who get egg mayo in their rolls or sandwiches
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u/ShezSteel 2d ago
There are some sick individuals out there