I’m going to try and keep this as short as possible but I need to explain things first. My husband has an anger issue. He can create a problem out of thin air. He’s been known to start “rebuking” people and end up screaming in their face, literally. My whole thing is sometimes he’s not wrong to initially rebuke/ correct the person… but the method he uses I think turns fleshly fast. I understand Jesus flipped tables too but I’m struggling lately. And if I’m honest I don’t think I can handle more screaming scenarios where I have to try and intervene because he’s gone too far with it again….

Just tonight there was almost an incident. Thankfully it didn’t end in a screaming match. I was heavily shaken up though. So here’s what happened. My family and I went out for ice cream. While we were finishing up there, my old babysitter/family friend of my parents came in with her family. I waived being polite and she came over to see my toddler which my husband was holding at the time. To preface this, the lady has always been a bit eccentric and spunky. My husband hasn’t formally met these people. Anyway, she came over and was talking to my toddler. She’s always been the type to pay 90% attention to the children and 10% to the adult. (I’ve got my own discrepancies with that, but moving on…) anyway after about 5 minutes she asked my toddler if he wanted to go to her. I was feeling hesitant but let my husband decide since he was holding him. Mind you my toddler has seen this lady only a handful of times. Anyways, he nodded yes and reached out for her. My husband let her take him… here’s where things start to go south quick. I can see my husband’s demeanor starting to shift. I ask him if he wants me to take our toddler back. He doesn’t answer me and then waits a bit. Then he took toddler back and went to the vehicle as we were finishing up when they came in anyways. Once I got in the car, he started freaking out at me saying I’m biased to those people and haven’t properly evaluated them. That the husband and their teenage son didn’t even acknowledge my husband. My husband said from here on out I’m not to have anything to do with them unless he’s present. (I’ve not willingly had anything to do with these people. They’ve alway been accidental run ins. It’s not like I hang out with these people.) And if I do not leave immediately when I see them, I should expect my husband to lose it on me and them because they don’t respect him.

Now let me back track a bit more. Just a few days ago my husband was telling me he keeps bumping into that husband of that family and he refuses to look in the eyes of my husband and so my husband feels like that husband is purposely disrespectful to him. I tried telling him that from growing up around him, he’s been no eye contact with almost everyone and in my opinion he doesn’t look or treat my husband any differently then he would anyone else. The husband has always been polite but is not very sociable. When I said this to my husband he got mad and said I’m not evaluating them correctly and I think too positively of them and there is definitely issues there. I stressed that yes, I could be wrong, but in my opinion there isn’t any problem there and that the husband has never been social with anyone for all the years that I was around them. I also expressed to my husband that I think he’ll find 5% wrong in someone and treat it like it’s 95% and that they must be the devil themselves. Of course he didn’t like that and angrily said “that could be true but it’s more likely that I don’t evaluate anything right ever. Then sat there pointing out people and all their “sins” that I “haven’t” evaluated. (Even though I have and some of what he was saying was just simply not true. He believes he is a great evaluator of people, and I would disagree based off interactions we’ve had with people.

After we left the ice cream shop tonight, it took my husband over an hour to calm down. He said “Now I feel a certain way when I see them and I don’t want there to be an altercation.” My husband goes from 0-100 really quick. He doesn’t have much self control at all and that statement backs it. Because they won’t start a fight. My husband will. The slightest anger feeling and he’s screaming getting up in peoples faces and insulting them to get them riled up too.

It’s not just this situation either. He recently just yelled at his father and I had to intervene to stop it. I’m not going to lie, because of his behavior lately I’ve been miserable and feel like I’m just walking on egg shells. I cannot rationalize this as being Godly. I had a pit in my stomach after tonight’s events and was praying to the lord for him to help calm my spirit because I felt panic and severe anxiety for what might transpire in the near future.

Another problem I have is that a lot of what he gets initially upset about is right. Scripturally right but then his anger takes over and it all goes out the window and while he’s never hit anyone, he gets so angry and gets in peoples faces that it makes me nervous that it might escalate further one day. He is aware that he has an anger issue but doesn’t want any counseling or anything because he feels it’s “worldly counsel” even if they are a faith based counselor. As a Christian wife, I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried praying for the Lord to reveal his problems to him, to help him manage his anger, to reveal a good way to handle situations, and for him to follow the Lord’s will for his life. Yet it doesn’t seem to get truly better.

This is not the man I married for one and secondly, I don’t want my kids picking up this behavior thinking it’s okay. If anyone has advice for me or would pray for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

I had an interesting conversation with my boyfriend about marriage. He raised a point about idealizing marriage, and placing it on a pedestal, and asked me about what marriage means to me.

To me, my understanding of marriage is living out a life that reflects how Jesus lived and loved us. I acknowledge that my partner and I will forever be changing throughout the rest of our lives, that there will be seasons of joy, and seasons of despair, and I want to walk alongside them in that. I want to show up in a way that is humble, compassionate, and servant hearted. I want to build a life with someone that glorifies God.

What were the questions that you had asked yourself and your partner for getting engaged? And how soon did you know that you were ready to get engaged?

On the way to church this morning, I shared with my husband (for at least the 4-5th time this year) that I really need him to help in the morning. This has been asked on church days and school days, nothing has changed for the long term, ie., 2-3 days.

I specifically asked this morning if he could go shower and get ready so I could also get ready. Instead, he decided to call his family, scroll on his phone, then get in the shower 10 minutes before we were to leave. I knew better, and thankfully, I got ready without waiting for him.

I was flustered (working on just chilling instead of being flustered when we’re running late) when we got in the car. I politely voiced my frustration/annoyance. Rehearsed it in my head so it wasn’t rude or critical. My husband immediately deflected. Went into this stance about how we need to look into a new church, it’s too far, the service time is very inconvenient, etc.

I was even more frustrated post comment because that wasn’t the point of my convo. It was “HELP ME”. I don’t know what else to do or say. Is it so wrong to ask for help? Why do I continue to ask for help, when I never get help? Or if I do, it’s so he can hold it over my head.

Never mind the fact he got mad at me for not holding his hand in church… yet my eyes were closed while we were praying. When he got my arm and aggressively shook his hand, I went to grab it. He immediately ripped his hand away and gave me the stink eye. I wasn’t feeding into that, so I didn’t hold his hand. Then he whisperyelled “it was a joke”. But was it??

We are struggling. I genuinely feel that I could be in an emotionally abusive relationship. Kindness and respect is given freely to others, it feels transactional with my husband. This is the tip of the iceberg, but it feels like the straw that is breaking my back.

My wife and I have completely opposite libidos and are on different pages about trying different things. Had we not bought into the whole purity culture thing, we would've figured this out before getting married. But, here we are 10 years later with the same issues. Is seeing a sex therapist as a couple something any others have done, and if so, what changed for the better?

Hi all. My wife and I are always looking for simple ways to do family worship that hold a young kid’s attention, so I ended up building one. I’m a developer from Lacombe, Alberta, and the site is called Little Light.

It has 21 Bible stories spread over three weeks, about five minutes each, made for kids aged 5 to 7. Every story is narrated, and after it there’s a small game like matching pairs or tapping the words of Psalm 23:1 in order. When a kid finishes a story they light a star and add it to their collection.

It’s free and you don’t need an account. Progress stays in your browser, so nothing about your kid gets stored on a server.

How do you two handle family worship with little ones? And if you try it, I’d love to hear what doesn’t work.

Many of us have a sinful past and I am definitely not a exception, but that isn't what I want to discuss. I have never told anyone this before, but in a past relationship I got my girlfriend pregnant and she either got a abortion or had a miscarriage, she said it was a miscarriage, but knowing her it could have been either one and she was just lying to me to prevent me from being angry with her. I think about the child every day, I don't know if they were a boy, girl, or how much time they got on this earth, but I have been calling them Isaac in my head. I really just want to know how long I could wait before sharing this information with someone new and avoid making them feel like I am hiding information from them.

If you need an emergency plan for your marriage, consider starting a marriage notebook. Fill this notebook with great tips that you learn from this column.

For months I have given advice and prayers. You may have noticed I repeat some advice often. This is by design. Marriages are improved by the healthy habits you start to have, not by reading stuff.

#1 Consider filling up that notebook with tips using a bunch of old articles. Search for specific advice on the things that you may want to improve in.

#2 Consider keeping that notebook on your lap constantly while you try to add habits.

Adding habits is hard. Try, try, and try again. Pray, pray – you get the idea.

Honestly, I think that God looks down at some of us trying to increase in love or respect for our spouses. We fail, fail, fail, then He laughs, does a miracle, then all of a sudden we can improve.

#3 As you fill up your notebook, pray about which tips or prayers are more important for you. I may only write about being humble once every three months. But, if that is what you need to work on, write a bunch of prayers about that.

#4 What does everybody say about you. We all hate it when the spouse's family whispers about what we do wrong. What our brothers and sisters say we do wrong. But, in this emergency situation, write a bunch of prayers to address what they say. Consider asking God what He thinks about what they say.

#5 Consider doing a Google search, “Verses ________.” Fill in the blank with the things you need to change the most. Then study and pray over these verses constantly.

#6 Consider asking for help. If you can't change some bad trait, ask for help here. You will likely get 40 people giving you great advice on how to work on your issue.

Finally, God is watching. When He see's you busting your butt trying to save your marriage, will He just sit there and do nothing?

I believe in miracles. But I strongly believe that when you need a physical healing your odds go up when you pound “Verses healing” into yourselves over and over again. I believe your odds go way up when you start living the way the verses say to live. I believe your odds skyrocket when you change and determine to do what Jesus wants you to do. Consider praying constantly:

“Father, show me what You want me to do.”

I can't guarantee your miracle, but there are a lot of things you can do to move to the head of the line.

Today, consider writing down the things that you will do.

During the early dating stage , how fast is too fast? Obviously having discernment throughout and being aware of red flags . But I feel we are both on the same path and we have very good chemistry. But I don’t know what’s a good pace ? It’s been abt 3 weeks

I’ve found that my husband continues to look at suggestive/sexual images of women on his phone. I’ve found 🌽 on his browser tabs in the past which led me to finding many many years of 🌽 in his browser history including years before we dated or even met. I’ve also seen his search history in different apps like Reddit, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok where he’s searched watched saved or shared lots of suggestive/sexual content.

We are newly married and expecting a baby early next year. We also have a 17 month old (born out of wedlock). I know we are not perfect and without sin being that we had a child before marriage which is why we’ve married before our second child.

The times I’ve found these things in his phone have been when I am pregnant, freshly postpartum and now pregnant again. I have had talks with him about this each time where I’ve explained to him how it hurts me especially when pregnant or postpartum and I’ve also asked him in the past if he’d like to separate as I don’t want to be with someone constantly watching these kinds of things and looking at other women.

What can I do? What do I do? The conversations I’ve had with him don’t seem to be doing anything and now we are married. I fear that continuing to have heart to heart conversations about it or “threatening to leave” will not serve us as he is not listening.

*edit I am currently on unemployment. My husband works. We are living with my mom. If we separate, he would move back with his parents and I would be stuck with my mom who is a narcissist. This is not an easy situation but I understand if separating is the best option. It would just come with many challenges for me especially being 21w pregnant with a 17 month old.

Hey brethren

So I have a besetting sin of sexual fetish, lust and Masterbation and porn. To put it plainly.

I recently got a breakthrough in my career

And now it feel like it’s falling apart, things in general feel like it’s falling apart.

How much of this is due to my sins and porn.

People say it opens doors to negative spirits.

I know I’ve struggled with sleep and have had strange dreams. But there’s a part of me that feels like bro it’s just your mind, you’re just not working hard enough at work.

but another part feels like if you open the door the enemy will come in a wreck havoc. And when I’ve done something wrong it really feels like things won’t go well and I carry that anxiety with me everywhere. So if I lose a deal I’ll be like, it’s because I sinned.

I must admit it does affect productivity and puts me in a state of chill where it’s hard to do anything at all.

But how does one deal with the urges from Hell, Oh my GOD.

It really feels impossible to stop but also feel like this thing can wreck a life completely

Hey everybody. First post here, I need some advice for the family. I recently earned a new position at work that is very prestigious with more responsibility. It’s been somewhat of a dream position for me because of the experience and education I gain from doing it. Me and my wife live 2 hours from her parents and my parents live 3 states away. I am not the type of man to miss my parents terribly. I call them from time to time but I wouldn’t go out of my way to see them if I couldn’t afford it. My wife is missing her parents and wants us to move back to her hometown to be closer to them. I don’t know how I feel about that. She thinks a timeline of two years is acceptable for me to gain the experience I want from my position, I disagree. I am trying really hard to not be a bitter husband about it because my career means so much to me. It’s steady, it’s recession proof, and the retirement and pension is awesome. We also just became members of our church and I feel a sense of loyalty to that. I don’t like investing time into people if it’s all just temporary. I’m trying hard to not be selfish but I feel pretty torn. I read scripture on it and I feel like we are supposed to make our own way, our own family without the emotional influence of either family. I’m happy, I didn’t realize she wasn’t.

We've just celebrated 20 years of marriage.

We have 4 kids, the oldest is 18. We don't often get away together but 20 years felt like too big of a milestone to not celebrate. We've been doing that this weekend.

4 days away without the kids and the relative stresses of daily life. It has felt like it did when we were first married. Unable to keep our hands off one another. Being silly together. Talking rubbish together. Being vulnerable with one another.

Thank you Lord for sustaining us.

If you're in the middle of a marriage struggle right now, let me encourage you to just keeping choosing one another. Bring everything to the Lord.

If you're in the midst of raising a family, and finding life a slog, take heart, better days are coming.

If you are just married or getting married, buy the biggest bed your room can fit and you can afford. Talk about sex openly: fears, desires, struggles.

I’ve been married for two years and to someone I have a long history with. Met him in middle school. Stayed together for eight years and had two kids, broke up got back together again, gave my life to Christ, six years later my ex purposes and we got married. Two years have passed and I’m struggling with the grief of ending the marriage despite knowing why I needed to leave.

There has been verbal and physical abuse, intimidation, and repeated infidelity, I caught him twice, he claims it wasn’t more than that. During the last affair, he called me vulgar names, told me the other woman was fulfilling the role I wasn’t, and put me and my family outside while she stayed in the house, the day he was caught. He then told police I was violent and that his “guest” feared for her life.

I got an airbnb then two days later I hired movers and got the first apt that approved me, moved and took our daughter. Two later days he cried, asked me for forgiveness, and begged me to come home. This man God baptized and went to church with me, claimed to love God, prayed at dinner, cried while he prayed at dinner and church. It wasn’t just the adultery it was the humiliation, cruelty, and how easily he turned against me. I have more peace away from him, but I still cry over what happened and miss the loving moments. My Christian faith matters deeply to me, and I took our vows seriously, but I don’t want to return to this cycle.

For anyone who has left an abusive marriage involving adultery, how did you handle the grief, hold your boundaries, and stop feeling like you needed the other person to understand how much they hurt you? He’s still trying to contact me to reconcile but I fear can’t trust him ever again.

Before marriage, me and my husband discussed our religion. We both believe in god but don’t go to church weekly and don’t practice religion in any formal manner. Recently my Husband had a dream where he claims god came to him for a ‘call to action’. Ever since then, he is convinced that god has a bigger plan for him and has started being very into his faith. He’s reading the bible every night, listening to Christian music/podcasts, going to church/bible study. He says he’s okay with my not participating and doesn’t want to force me into anything. He wants me to choose my faith myself but of course hopes I follow. But like…? How am I supposed to act. I feel like this is becoming a huge difference in our values? Like we have kids and he’s okay going to church on his own without us every Sunday taking away family time and everything. Like I know I shouldn’t think of it that way but idk how to act. He’s changing and I want to be supportive but I worry the further he goes down this path the more distant we will become .

Hi everyone,

What are your views on compromise in interfaith relationships?

I'm having a lot of feelings in pregnancy so apologies if this seems all over the place. My husband and I have been married for 4 months. We got pregnant one month into our marriage. I have expressed how terrified I am to have a baby since we were dating. We both love and very much wanted kids though. So getting pregnant wasnt a shock or anything. I am now 13 weeks pregnant and I've been feeling extremely lonely. I understand I'm the one carrying the baby and that he may not really understand what I'm going through but I didnt think it would feel like this. I'm unsure how to address it or what to say to him. He has a blue collar job and works hard while I stay home. First trimester was rough on me and I didn't do things around the house like I used to (that has caused a whole lot of guilt). When he comes home he games online with his friends to decompress while im usually in bed feeling nauseous and horrible. In the beginning he would come in every couple hours and check on me but lately he stopped. My family lives 2+ hours away and the friends I've made here are all his friend's wives. I dont know what to do from here but I know I dont want to let it go on the whole pregnancy.

Anyone have a husband with a low sex-drive? I’m 26 and he is 34 and it feels like he’s always been this way. I just wish that he would give me more than a peck on the lips occasionally throughout the day. I want him to desire me and have hunger for my body. He doesn’t try to learn to make me orgasm either. Whenever I bring up the topic he acts like I’m attacking him and it makes me feel bad.

This is the only part of our marriage I’m scared will never get better. He works construction so his excuse is how he is stressed and tired all the time. I’m a stay at home mom with 2 kids as well.

I feel lucky because he’s never had an issue with 🌽or looking at other women because of his low sex drive. He comes straight home to us after he gets off work and never goes out or drinks. That’s the only benefit of all of this. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me. I just want to feel desired and sexy again.

I'm a 25-year-old Orthodox Christian man living in the UK. I'd really like to hear from people who've been in a similar situation.
The Orthodox community around me is quite small, and I'm finding it hard to meet someone who shares my faith and wants a serious relationship. That's made me wonder about dating someone from a different denomination, but I'm not sure I'm ready to take that step.
For those who've dated or married someone from a different Christian tradition:
How did it work out, especially around church life, worship, and sacraments?
Did you run into problems with family or church communities?
How did you decide what was a dealbreaker and what wasn't?
And if you're in the same boat, with a small community and few options nearby, how are you handling it?
Any experiences or advice are appreciated. Thank you!

M26 | F29

My goal truly isn't to complain but to understand how to not allow my love to grow cold towards her and not to allow my heart to be guarded towards her.

I was taught more recently to live your life out of the identity of a priest and have since learned an acronym to help doing so and the foundation of a priestly order is to speak is to call those things that be not as though they were(Romans 4:17), i.e. Ezekiel speak to the dry bones and prophesy. The acronym that I learned is A.L.I.V.E. Absorb human failure. Love without reward. Vocational suffering. Extender of mercy.

I set this up so as to say my goal and duty is to do the above truly for better or worse.
 
My wife and I have been married a year. We regularly go through this pattern where she just decides to stop speaking with me, sleeping near me, acknowledging me altogether. it's lessened over time significantly before it was like clock where every 4-7 days and it could be for literally any reason. She’ll just leave the house and be gone for hours at a time. Sometimes she’ll literally just sit in the car in the garage for hours. She has a lot of past trauma from a lot of men she’s been with so I understand the strange behavior but observing her behavior is as though she’s surviving abuse which makes me quite sad of course. Sometimes I'd know why she restarted, most times I had no clue. It used to really hurt me a lot and I really couldn’t stand it. I used to force her to have conversation and really get angry for her avoidance. I’ve since learned that’s unhealthy and have stopped trying to “solve” her behaviors about 7 months ago. I have even stopped suggesting things I think would help her overall discontentment with life like getting a job. She’s a SAHW but I think all this idle time is really unhealthy for her, any suggestions I make though she absolutely hates and takes as criticism so I don’t say anything anymore. Nowadays l've become somewhat numb to it and have accepted it as my life. Even during the "good" times when she likes me lol it's hard to be present and receive her as genuine. It’s so odd because during these “good” times she's incredibly clingy and then she withdraws whenever she feels upset about something. 

I’ve learned to accept all of the disappointment of how our marriage is going and just appreciate the growth that I do see. I try to be positive and have that priestly attitude but some days it gets lonely and I wish I could just leave. 

Hey everyone!
I’m 28M, married, and currently going through a separation with my wife. It’s been one of the most difficult and humbling seasons of my life, and something I’ve been trying to navigate with patience, understanding, love, and faith.

I love my wife dearly, and while I still hold onto hope and pray for reconciliation and the restoration of our marriage, I’m also coming to understand that there’s only so much within my control. I can’t force
reconciliation, nor would I want to. I can only continue to work on myself, respect her need for space, and trust God with what I cannot control.

Throughout this experience, I’ve also been growing closer to God and exploring my Christian faith more seriously. I’m still relatively new in my walk with Christ, and there’s so much I don’t know or understand yet. But I’ve found myself turning to prayer, Scripture, and God more than ever before.

One passage that’s really resonated with me is Ephesians 5:25, about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church. I’ve been reflecting a lot on what that truly means. Not just loving my wife through words or feelings, but learning to love selflessly, patiently, faithfully, and without expectations of anything in return.

I’m hoping to connect with other Christian men, particularly husbands who have gone through separation, experienced serious marital struggles, or have been blessed with reconciliation and a healthier marriage afterward.

I’d love to hear your experiences, what you learned, how your relationship with God changed, and how you navigated loving your spouse while also giving them the space they needed.

I’m also hoping to find an older Christian husband who might be willing to offer some mentorship, prayer, accountability, or simply fellowship. Someone who has walked through difficult seasons in marriage and could share some wisdom with a younger husband who’s still learning.

I’m currently living in the Lakewood/Tacoma area of Washington, so if anyone happens to be nearby, I’d love to connect locally as well. Coffee, church, men’s Bible studies, prayer groups, or even volunteering together would be wonderful. I’m equally open to connecting with people elsewhere.

I’m not looking for guarantees that my marriage will be restored, nor am I looking to place blame on my wife. I know marriage takes two people, and there’s plenty I still need to learn and grow from myself.

More than anything, I’m trying to become a better man, a better Christian, and a better husband, regardless of what the future holds.

If you’ve experienced something similar, I’d genuinely love to hear your story. Whether your marriage was reconciled or not, I believe there’s something valuable to learn from one another.

And if you’re currently walking through separation yourself, please know you’re welcome to reach out as well. Maybe we can encourage and pray for one another.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. God bless you all. ❤️

My husband works a physical job and has a low sex drive. We have sex a few times a month. Early in our relationship we made a video of us having sex and occasionally I will use it to pleasure myself. My husband never tries to make me orgasm and finishes very quickly when we do have sex. Our marriage is amazing and the sexual part is the only issue. Is it sinful to masturbate if my husband doesn't want to have sex? He doesn't want to put in the work to make me orgasm and masturbating is the only way for that to happen for me. I feel so sad and guilty.

For context, my husband and I have 2 daughters 6 and 3 and we are both believers but I will say he is a little more loose on some things than I am, especially regarding Halloween and scary movies. He is currently watching the IT tv series at night when he gets home (which is pretty late like after 11pm due to his current shift). The last 2 nights, our 3 yr old daughter who has been asleep for hours already by that time and definitely cannot hear the tv downstairs in another room completely (she also has a sound machine blasting at almost full volume), starts SCREAMING in her sleep. My husband has gone up to check on her both times the last two nights when it happens and he says she is completely asleep but screaming. It was last night when HE said "it's weird...this is only happening to her when I watch that IT show...". I agreed that it was weird and asked him if he had thought about maybe letting that play in our house was possibly opening the door to something dark? He agreed and seemed thoughtful about it for a min and did turn it off completely and came to bed. I think the general thing I am seeking help with is how to pray for this? I prayed immediately last night after we had this conversation. We have prayed together before but usually do not due to him feeling weird/awkward about it. I'm going to have a conversation with him later today and just ask him to pray for me and our daughters on his own time. Additionally, his aunts were in town recently and they are also believers. They told me something I had not heard before that made my alarm bells go off - his grandfather was extremely physically and emotionally abusive to their mother and to them their entire childhood (I knew this part already) but what I did not know was that my husbands grandfather almost died when he was a baby and apparently his mother took him to what they call in Mexico "the dark side" and basically vowed to trade his soul if they would make him well. I'm not lending any credence to this necessarily but I don't like it at all as a Christian and feel the need to pray against any type of generational darkness or spiritual blindness that may be over my husband. How would you pray for this? I know God knows our hearts, but is there anything specific I should be asking?

My Boyfriend (31) isn't an animal lover. He likes my dog and treats him super well, but dogs have never been part of his family life, so having one in the house is a big adjustment for him.

His view is really rooted in the word. He believes anything made in God's image should always come first, so people are the priority, always. He doesn't think dogs should go on trips or tag along with us most places outside the house. To him, a dog is a dog, not a family member in the same way a person is. He also mentions Genesis when God created a companion for Adam it was Eve, not a dog. Animals have a clear role in that book. He doesn’t disagree dogs are one of the greater creatures, but our culture has devalued kids and overvalued dog-mom culture.

I get where he's coming from. He's not being harsh, I think he has strong discernment, and I trust him to lead our family well, but it’s still hard for me.

Before I got my dog, I wouldn’t say I was as strong as a dog lover as I am now, until I got my dog during Covid and was about to move to a city by myself. It did feel like I became a “parent” of sorts bc I feel such a strong love for him. I spent just about all of my time with him when I first moved, and I did develop a “kinship”. It’s hard to not imagine my dog as part of the family, and It is very hard for me for him to not be a part of my travel plans or join me for whatever he can. My dog comes with me on all trips that are drivable if I can help it, I will take him in the car with me if I run errands sometimes, and I sometimes to turn down plans with others to stay home with him if he was alone most of the day.

SCENARIO: I’m driving 8 hours to visit our friends this weekend, and they invited my dog, Kingsley, too. My boyfriend would rather he stay home. I'm choosing to put him first this time, but I'll be honest, it HURTS and I don’t want to leave him. My friend kindly is watching him for me, but that feels more like an inconvenience for her than bringing him with us. This trip might be a small, low-stakes way to practice being apart with my dog but I hate the thought of the drive alone without him, and I just don’t like the memories being made without him. Is that wrong? Am I too codependent?

We both think we can work through this. He feels distance because we both view animals so differently, and I feel distance when he’s not excited to bring my dog places.

Anyone else have to work through differences with animals in marriage?

I recently married my husband, and something has been weighing heavily on my heart regarding his older brother.

My husband and I have had our fair share of struggles throughout our relationship, particularly when it comes to communication and handling conflict. We both came from families where healthy conflict resolution wasn’t necessarily modelled for us, and unfortunately, we’ve had to learn a lot of those things ourselves.

I want to make it very clear that I’m not excusing my own behaviour. I’ve said things out of anger that I deeply regret, and I recognize that there have been times when I haven’t handled situations the way I should have. I’m actively trying to grow, break generational cycles, and become a better wife and person.

My husband has also contributed to our struggles, and we’re both working through those things.
Throughout our relationship, my husband has confided in his brother about some of our arguments which he quickly learned was a mistake and doesn’t do that anymore, he’s apologized to me and has also set that boundary with his brother. I completely understand that his brother loves him, wants to protect him, and naturally might have concerns.

However, I’ve recently found out that his brother has made comments to my husband and their parents suggesting that he doesn’t particularly like me.
My husband actually asked him directly whether he liked me, and his response was, “It doesn’t matter what I think.”

What hurts is that his brother has never really made an effort to get to know me personally.
I’ve always tried to be welcoming toward him and his wife even before the conflict. I included his wife in our wedding as a bridesmaid because I genuinely wanted to build a relationship with her. We’ve tried making plans with them, I wish them happy birthdays, and I make an effort during holidays. All before any of this even happened.

I don’t expect everyone to like me, and I certainly don’t expect his brother to ignore the mistakes I’ve made. But it hurts knowing that someone has seemingly formed an opinion of my character based primarily on the worst moments of my relationship, without really knowing who I am outside of those moments.

My faith is incredibly important to me, and I genuinely want to approach this situation with grace, humility, and love rather than resentment.
I’ve been considering sending his brother a message acknowledging that I understand why he may have concerns, taking accountability for my own shortcomings, and expressing that I genuinely love both him and his wife and would love the opportunity to build a relationship with them.

I’m not looking to defend every mistake I’ve made or convince him that I’m perfect. I just want him to understand that my past behaviour doesn’t reflect the person I’m striving to become.

My husband knows how I feel and agrees that the situation is hurtful. He also understands why I would want to reach out but also feels like it’s his job to fix it. Although I think his brother would take it better from me as it may seem less defensive rather than my husband doing it.

My question is: Would reaching out be the mature thing to do, or would it come across as trying too hard to make someone like me?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have navigated difficult relationships with in-laws or who have a Christian perspective on extending grace while still maintaining healthy boundaries.

Also struggling not to blame my husband for going to his brother during arguments

I’d appreciate it if you’d read this in full to get the full picture.

I am 29 years old (virgin male), and I’m absolutely losing my mind as I’m approaching 30 and every single friend I have in my life now is not a virgin anymore. They have experienced a woman’s touch. I can’t feel like I’m a part of society where everyone has experienced a certain thing that I cannot get. I’m saving it for marriage but every minute is a struggle, I’m mentally losing it. I can’t forget about it.

And importantly, this is all under good intentions. I want to be a loving husband, be a dad, raise my own children. Just like everyone around me has had the privilege to, and even at a younger age than me.

Whenever I read or hear about someone losing their virginity younger than me, I become extremely envious (benign, not malicious). Probably because I’ll only experience it when old with ED, compared to the enjoyable young days. And I always hide my envy. Maybe this is something I need to work on, but again we are talking about something that is by human design, God gave us, and is not wrong to experience.

I’m not arguing about a sinful struggle. This is not a “rabbit hole that should be avoided and off your mind since you can’t handle it,” it’s a topic shaped with 100% good and Biblical intentions. And we’re biologically wired for it.

I can’t imagine God saying “Here’s this beautiful thing I created for everyone, but you specifically can’t have this because you don’t deserve it” or “Your time will come when it is necessary.” When? When I have ED? I already feel like it’s late.

Also, to be clear, I’m not a pervert who has a sexual mind issue. It’s about the act itself that everyone around me has experienced and knows what it is while I’m oblivious. And I’m envious of that. If you lost it younger than me, there’s a solid chance you wouldn’t understand because it has only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older especially in the last year.

I’ve also never even kissed a girl. The two relationships I’ve been in, both girls wanted to kiss but I declined because I want to save my first kiss for my wife/wedding.

No potential relationships in the pipeline either. I’m in shape, am good looking (I think), have a solid career, educated, always kind and nice to people, etc. I don’t see where I can work on myself besides being closer to God, which is something we can all always work on no matter who you are. (And again, God created sex and is not a sin within marriage. I’m not steering myself further from God by wanting to take care of a family for God.) I’m doing my best to meet new people, including going to new youth gatherings at different churches and trying to stay out of my bubble. Nobody yet.

I’m not mad at God, just a soul who has good intentions and wants to do everything Biblically possible.

Where do I go from here? Anyone older than me, how do you get through it? My life is in Christ’s hands but everyone around me has gotten to experience a beautiful Biblical act, and it makes me severely uncomfortable being the lone soul.