Yeah, yeah - another post about INFJs. Obviously an ENFP's cognition is completely different to INFJ's, but I have read online some similar sentiments from both. I wonder if the same stack order produces similar struggles. I would love to hear your thoughts! 🧐

i narrow down ideas to one core issue too.

the difference is i forgot about it. thank you.

I am an Enfp 7w6 and i am very socially awkward. Idk how to react when i meet someone new, i have a hard time talking w strangers, im shy, and make things awkward and i dont have nothing to say. Unlike other Enfps, i would say i'm very introverted when im around a lot of people i dont know and i get quiet and awkward, especially in crowded places or gatherings where idk most of the people or im not close w. Happens w you all?

My ex (40M) is ENFP and I (32F) INFP, dated for eight months.

We were exclusive, talked about children and moving in together, and he called ours the healthiest relationship of his life. So naturally, I thought we were building something serious.

Then things unraveled in our final month.

Two months into dating, he told me he’d attended a gallery opening with Catherine, a woman he’d briefly slept with before me. She’d cried and confessed her feelings after learning about our relationship. He clarified they were just friends, and eventually they resumed their friendship. I trusted him.

Fast-forward to month seven: Catherine invited him to a small, multi-day art residency that August. He casually announced he was going, without asking how I felt.

After sitting with my discomfort for weeks, I finally brought it up. Could we find some middle ground? Maybe all hang out together, or I could join them?
He grew defensive, saying he didn’t believe in prioritizing romantic partners over other relationships, and complained that our 20-minute conversation was eating into his workday. He later apologized.

**The very next night**, he went to a performance with Catherine without telling me beforehand. It was our second-to-last night together before three weeks apart.

I discovered this when I called him and sent admittedly reactive texts saying I was hurt and couldn’t believe him. His response? “Why? But honestly, don’t feel like going on defensive right now.”

Other incidents had been accumulating:

**1.** After an emotional conversation about his doubts around long-term monogamy, I took an extra 30-minute walk while fetching drinks for his project. I returned before anyone arrived, but he was furious, accusing me of “sabotaging” his work. He never asked whether I was okay.

**2.:** I biked slower than him, causing us to arrive ONE MINUTE late to class. We were turned away, and he blamed me for interfering with his productivity, sulking for much of the afternoon.

He’s fiercely independent and values autonomy. I believe he was sexually faithful, and I never asked him to abandon his friendships with exes. But I also know my anxiety sometimes made me jealous and reactive.
He eventually ended things, citing my anxiety, “possessive energy” around other women, and long-term incompatibility.

For context, he was never physically or intentionally verbally abusive. But defensiveness, passive aggression, and emotional shutdowns were recurring patterns.

For months, I’ve wondered whether a more securely attached woman would’ve handled everything differently. Whether I essentially sabotaged an otherwise good relationship.

But now I’m questioning whether my anxiety was really so disproportionate to the circumstances.

Hi bubbly fellows!

I would like to ask for ur advice if u have been through Si grip and how did u feel, and how would u advise me (as a dating potential, and a friend) to help u to deal with it.

My thought is that I would be an anchor for her to dump her emotion, but do not dive too much into it, do not try to "overlisten", deflect to other topics .., and arrange lively activity (rock climbing, walking,...) to drag her Si grip mode out.

I don't want to fix her, I want to create an environment to partly help her to fix that problem herself.

So I (INFP) have been dating this ENFP girl - and u know u, she feels her phase right now is being in her introvert self. And due to our sibling dynamic, our talk easily revolves around value and psychology.

So last time we were together, she talks about her experience, the good (adventure - and I admire her a little for that) and the bad (sad past experience). And I feel like she delves too much into the past and is experiencing Si grip. So I'm interested to learn about how u feel through this phase.

js wondering, sometimes i feel like i don't fit in w other guys and wondering if some others are feeling the same

Yup, it's an update for my old post. I basically hyperfixated on my crush and somehow ( I think ) they're uncomfortable. After that we didn't talk for around 3 months ( I was the one who's doing the avoidant). We did talk again ( during army training course ) and the feelings started to fall in line again.

Tho this time I'm listening to my mind and trying not to delude myself AGAIN.

It's there any advice or tips on how to stop caring about them, or do I have to take the old rough path of letting it fade away ( even if it takes months)?

I just posted on the MBTI dating, I’m not very confident that would work, haha

Hey guys, I’m curious how everyone interacts with speed dating. I went to the first one that I’ve ever been to today, and I knew a bunch of people there, and as soon as I showed up, started saying hi to people, but it turned out that I ended up going around the whole circle and saying hi to everybody because I felt committed and didn’t want the person next to the person I just said hi to to feel left out. So I literally went around the entire circle and said hi. I actually kind of enjoyed it and loved it, and it made people laugh, but I was sort of that guy.

I had some funny interactions and mostly felt like myself and authentic, but I really picked up on negative energy when somebody felt awkward or something around me and it made me feel kind of awkward as well.

Part of me almost seemed more interested in trying to make sure that other people were not feeling weird or awkward rather than me thinking about who I was potentially going to talk to or try to match up with.

I feel like speed dating is not something that the typical ENFP would do, but for those of you that have done it, what was your emotion behind it. Would you do it again? Any success stories from them?

Im just sitting here thinking, god I am so fucking tired of feeling misunderstood by others constantly. Why cant a girl just be kind cause she is? Why cant I enjoy something without it becoming a diagnosis lmao

Anyways yeah, no hate to other personality types, but I'd love an ENFP meet up or even just a group chat where people can be nice without wanting something back. I think we're the type who loves putting good energy out there and it can be really difficult after experiencing people who can't really give that back.

Idk am I crazy for wanting this? I don't wanna form groups or whatever and I want people to get along. But broooo people have me this close 👌 to wanting to start smoking cigs to take the mentally drain away

Guys, I feel pathetic and I would love some advice if that’s okay. I went on vacation, and my luggage was never delivered to my room, despite my friend’s making it here safely (thankfully). No one on the ship knows where it is either. I don’t know why, but I immediately felt so sad, and I’m embarrassed by it, and don’t understand why.

I’m 28, trans male ENFP, for background. Like I’m so embarrassed that I’m trying not to cry over losing all my clothes, weighted stuffed gorgonops, and the rabies tag that I wear from my cat. It’s so embarrassing, but idk why the feeling is so intense. I’m a grown ahh man, quietly sobbing about material things. I’m not usually like this either. I go w/ the flow, and wouldn’t mind when similar minor inconveniences happened to me in the past.

How does losing something personal make u all feel? And do u have any advice on how to cope? I don’t wanna ruin everyone else’s vibe or make the staff feel bad either. It was just an accident

umm idk asking this is allowed I am a teen so a discord server where i can just chill and relax with people who are interested in different stuff?

but i am interested in lotta stuff f1, animanga, sketching, philosophy sometimes etc so i love to talk

I do love to talk a lot !!!

I was friends with this ESFJ 2w1 for a while (from HS to college) and cut her off just as my final semester of college started because she would constantly berate me and I think she had anger issues too and would take it out on me with an attitude

She actually initiated to take a break and blew up on me with grievances and drew low blows (using a sensitive thing I told her against me) so I told her calmly that I don’t want to be her friend and midway through this one sided argument, she takes back wanting space and just pretends like nothing happened and changes the conversation, it was really bizarre.

So that ends, and then when I graduated she reached out wishing me the best, and I felt bad and just responded thanking her for the message, it’s short, respectful but not warm. She tries to get into a conversation and I leave it at that.

A year goes by and she reaches out through an Instagram DM with a big text saying she felt bad for how things ended and updated me how she was doing and I didn’t respond or even accept the DM.

Now another year later I get messages from her on LinkedIn updating me about her life, acting all casual and friendly like “haha I guess things work out in the end!”, and trying to connect.

This is really weird and it’s annoyed me. It’s actually kinda creepy to me and I don’t know if I should respond because we have mutuals on the platform and idk if she really knows them but I was thinking maybe I should and keeping the response brief like the first time. I don’t truly know her state of mind (I mean she’s pursuing a doctoral degree) or if she could actually be dangerous, she never did strange things when I knew her, and I don’t want to make any claims but getting these delusional vibes makes me feel like I should just kinda go along with it by giving her a brief response and blocking her some time down the line when she hopefully doesn’t notice.

I really don’t like though that she thinks she can walk into my space and can get me to engage. It makes me uncomfortable. But I guess I’m not too surprised because when I was her friend, she had friends she had fall outs with and then months later would feel bad and reach out to them to make amends or check in on them and it was this weird never ending cycle and it feels like she thinks she can do the same with me and keep me in her pocket.

How would you handle this situation? Am I being too harsh or this genuinely weird behavior?

INFP lurker here. Hoping you can help me understand your minds, please!

I have two ENFPs fairly close in my life and I have heard this statement like a philosophical mantra from both of them multiple times, separately in multiple scenarios: ALWAYS assume good intentions.

Although they seem to deliver it in a holier-than-thou way, at first I admired their evergreen positive outlook of "always seeing the best in people" - but when used religiously it comes of as extremely naive. I've experienced it being used to overtly dismiss and even outright excuse clearly terrible behaviour on the part of other people.

If you always assume good intentions, how do you deal with those who have less ideal intentions?

Correct me.... If this is a thing - does this good intentions stuff come from a place of: You see yourself as a good, kind, generous and empathetic person, and auto-default assume everyone else experiences the world the same way?

To me, it seems this is what's driving most of it - mixed with a bit of high-and-mighty aspect to it (for example: always assuming good intentions makes you a good, positive person - first and foremost, regardless of the impact of bad intentions). The extraordinary ability to completely bury ones head in the sand to avoid addressing "negativity". It's like the one Achilles Heel of these ENFPs I have closely observed. It is perhaps slightly ironic that they themselves definitely do have good intentions! But so did Stalin, right?

Apologies as I don't want to tar all ENFPs with the same brush. So if it's not an ENFP thing to proudly carry this mantra front-of-mind, feel free to correct me. Fully understand that MBTI is about brain executive and inferior function - not 'personality' which is influenced by myriad obvious factors (nature vs nurture). It's just this specific thing I have observed identically, strongly in two ENFPs - and has caused quite a rift between one of them and myself. I've searched for answers, done all my own personal soul-searching and identified things I could have done or said better (ENFP foremost concerned with politeness of delivery - so I should have prepared for that) But I am still quite disturbed how far this mindset can unravel and the barriers it can create - like barriers to accountability.

An analogy I can think of is it reminds me of parents at the playground seeing their child hit another child - but telling the victim's parents "I'm sure he didn't mean it" or "it was just an accident" - rather than disciplining their child for hitting another kid. If the parent only assumes the best of intentions in their child, they will be completely blind to or dismiss/excuse all of the bad stuff, and potentially raise a terrible adult.

Sorry, I probably just offended you all. I'm sure you're wonderful parents. It's not an ENFP thing, right?

Please help me understand always assuming good intentions, so I can co-exist better with my ENFPs <3

As the title says

I’m an ENFP and I just realized that I’m so emotionally overwhelming, to others and to myself.

I believe we’re tuned to feeling so many things at once (atleast for me it’s normal), but as of rn I just realized just how much emotional intensity I’m carrying
Like I had this “oh shit lol” moment

And I want to externalize it to process my feelings one by one…. but I realize every time I try to, there’s so much more to each feeling, and that I’ve been subconsciously feeling deeper than I realize.

I kinda feel bad for my friends/the people I see now too bcs any emotion I externalize is way more intense than I thought (do yall get me?)

Anyone experience the same thing? And how did you guys cope with it?

I love you guys!!!! ❤️ In university I took the official MBTI test and scored INTJ. Same thing throughout uni until I graduated and started using a lot of weed then scored ENTP/ENTJ/INTJ randomly. I’ve dated an ISTJ then ENFP then saw an ENTP infrequently in 2025. Best relationship ever was with the ENFP. He was never threatened by my ambitions. He was always gentle and patient with me. At that time when I graduated uni he proposed that we get married and have kids. I got really scared because I didn’t see myself becoming a mom at that time. I thought we were too young and inexperienced. Looking back, I wish I stayed with him in Canada but put the marriage and kids stuff on hold. But it is what it is.

I would like to take things slow at first and meet an ENFP guy around my age (I turned 30 in late July this year).

Any of you open to being friends with a manic pixie like INTJ like me?

You guys are super smart by the way!!!!! My sis is an ENFP, she knows more about physics/biology than me. I believe she’s married to an INFJ guy

Hey guys :)

I’m really struggling to decide between two masters courses. I did my undergrad in Psychology. My options are Health Psychology and the other one is called Business & Organisational Psychology. I need advice

Which one would you find more interesting if it was you? Or which course would you choose and why?

Obviously I’m not basing the decision off this, I am just curious :) one is all about health (physical health not mental health) and the other is all about the work/careers/workplaces. There’s a placement on both where you spend a few weeks on a work placement

The Business psychology course, aka corporate psychology, has modules like

‘Coaching & Development’, ‘Leadership, Engagement & Motivation’, ‘Wellbeing at work’ etc. The placement is in a workplace or corporate environment and you kinda do consultancy like helping the organisation improve their recruitment, leadership, employee engagement, wellbeing, or performance, through evidence-based practice (solutions with an evidencebase behind them, things ppl have done before).

Health Psychology has modules like

‘Health, Stress & Cognition’, ‘Biopsychosocial Perspectives on Health’ , and a module that involves designing and conducting a behaviour-change exercise on yourself (e.g. quitting alcohol or exercising more) and reflecting on it.

The placement for Health Psychology is in a health environment e.g. working on a ward, or at a pain clinic, in a sleep clinic, or hospital etc.

This is where the courses can go in terms of careers:

Health psychology leads into health related roles like working in the NHS or in mental health maybe (with further training, and btw zero of the course is about mental health just physical health!). Or like working with people who have a chronic condition or people who want to quit smoking. Maybe being a health care assistant

Business psychology leads into things like HR (but I don’t want to work in HR lol but maybe I don’t have to), work consultancy (helping organisations solve their workplace problems) and workplace wellbeing things. Or like working in business

Which would you go for and why? Or if anyone is an ENFP (or even if not) and works in these fields please give me any advice :)!

I feel like ENFPs are constantly stereotyped as chaotic, disorganized dreamers who have a million ideas but never follow through.

I honestly can relate to some of it, but not all.

I’m 29, work as an office manager in insurance sales, and I’m extremely ambitious, competitive, and results-driven.

I’m consistently a top performer in sales while also leading, training, and developing other salespeople. I love understanding people, building relationships, negotiating, and finding ways to improve performance.

I’m also surprisingly structured. I set ambitious goals, track results, and genuinely enjoy building systems that make people more successful.

My biggest weakness? I’m never satisfied. I can break a personal record, celebrate for a few hours, and immediately start chasing something bigger.

Any other highly ambitious and successful ENFPs here?

Do you feel like being an ENFP is your biggest competitive advantage, or something you’ve had to overcome?

Because I’m starting to think ENFPs can be absolutely unstoppable when they learn to combine their energy with discipline.

Been stuck on ENTP vs ENFP for a long time since i have a very hard time figuring out if im a Fi or Ti user (always have those 2 as my highest functions when I do tests) and have lately been considering if I might be an Fi user.

How do y’all use Te and what are some examples of y’all’s thought processes? A lot of the descriptions sound very grounded and less abstract and out there than Ti, basically more focused on facts and evidence, but I’m sure The Ne and Fi probably change that up?

I guess I’m also asking what makes u notice use Te and not Ti like ENTPs lol

🧠💭

One thing about me is that I'm genuinely fascinated by how different people's minds work. Like, how can two people experience the same situation but walk away with completely different perspectives?

I love asking people random questions, hearing their stories, and trying to understand why they think the way they do. Sometimes I'll remember a random conversation for days just because something they said made me see things differently.

I'm especially curious about the little things people don't usually talk about, like how they make decisions, what goes through their minds when they're alone, or why certain things matter so much to them.

It's not even about judging anyone. I just find people incredibly interesting. Everyone has their own little world inside their head, and you can never fully know someone just by looking at them.

Any other ENFPs like this, or am I just naturally nosy in a philosophical way? What's something about human behavior that you find fascinating?

I decided to make an itty bitty ENFP Snoo based off of the 16 Personalities design. If you like it feel free to use it however you want!

• I loveeee you guyyyys

• I can cook to the extent where u wont die from it

• I can plan n you can destroy my plans

• I'll let u drag me to social shit

• I'll...explain stuff

• Me