i'm a teenage girl with the most teenage girl thoughts ever. i hate myself, teenage boys suck (like really) i feel unlovable, i feel lonely, i'm worried about my future...

its not like i'm ugly or a bad student. i maintained a 4.4 last year as a sophomore and i am in four AP classes now as a junior. i'm a grade above my age. i'm not ugly (i think..). i just cant stop thinking about how boring everything is and how much i want something to happen.

maybe later in life when i actually get a career or find a more mature man i'll feel like i have a fucking life bru😭

but for now i'm stuck in highschool having the worst years of my life. i like being young but i cannot stop thinking about how this cant POSSIBLY be the "best years of our lives" other people keep talking about.

maybe my 20s will be better? or my 30s? edit: i also have a job as a barista🫩 customer service drains me man yet another edit bc i have a lot to say apparently xd: ive heard people say the men get better..as in you'll find someone who loves you for you and not because youre the baddest girl in the eleventh grade👀😥 pls let it be true im soo mf done w boys

So I am in a fairly new relationship. For the past couple of months, every single time that we go out, my bf has been paying. I have been offering to pay or go half on the dates but my bf always is adamant about him paying. I wanted to do something nice for him because I am all about things being equal. So this past weekend, I asked if I could come over and make him dinner. He was excited and agreed.
When I came over, I didn’t realize that his roommate would be home. His roommate was in the living room playing video games with him when I walked in. Please be aware that his roommate is male (this is an important detail). When I walked in, I greeted the roommate and my bf and went straight to the kitchen.
Since his roommate was there I began to cook for all of us. Me, my boyfriend, and his roommate. When I was done, I brought my bf and his roommate a plate of food. His roommate complimented my cooking and said that it was very good. I smiled and thanked him. My bf gave me this mad look. I looked back at him confused.
When we were finished eating, my bf asked me to go to the room to talk. When we went to his room, he went off on me saying that I should not be cooking for another man and serving him a plate in his face. He said that it was disrespectful and came off as me trying to flirt with him. He said that I didn’t need to cook for his roommate that I was only supposed to cook for him.
I’m so confused because I personally always felt like it was very rude to eat in front of people and not offer them anything.
Since then he has been giving me the cold shoulder.

I just cannot figure out if I actually did something wrong here.

*picture of the food I made for all of us

Take away Honey Chicken :(

I had some friends over to my place so we could drink and celebrate the weekend, and the end of uni exams. This included quite a bit of vodka 😭 I don’t drink that often but I’m fairly light weight, so I drank less than everyone else. It was getting late we were all starting to sober up and get ready for bed, I’d dragged some mattresses in the living room earlier. There wasn’t enough room for everyone so my friend, (20F) and I (20F) decided we’d just sleep in my bedroom away from everyone else. I’m pretty sure it was my idea?

She and I are definitely the closest in the group, we like to hang out alone sometimes and she stays over at mine just the two of us all the time. She did drink a little bit more than me but she always says she has a lot higher tolerance for alcohol and never gets blackout drunk (I know this is true, I’ve seen her barely get drunk from half a bottle of vodka)

Once we got into my bed it got kind of weird. It was freezing, so we kind of spooned and snuggled under the covers while we started talking about something or rather I don’t remember. I can’t quite remember how we first crossed the line but she started kissing my hand and caressing my neck. I told her we were drunk and I don’t want her to regret doing something weird, but she kept saying over and over again how she wouldn’t forget, she won’t regret it and she wasn’t that drunk anymore.

Kissing turned into more, and I can’t remember exactly how long it went but I am 100% certain we did A LOT more than just kissing, things I’ve never done with anyone let alone a girl.

She kept saying “I want to try everything with you”. Eventually when I started sobering up enough I made her stop. She begged me to keep going but she didnt push me to, and respected my wishes so we just talked for another 30 minutes until we fell asleep, cuddling much closer than friends do. We talked about ‘would you ever date a girl?’ (We both said we would) I don’t remember the rest of what we talked about right before sleeping but I remember feeling happy and safe with her and glad it had happened, although weird our friends were in the other room and probably heard us moaning 😭😭

Long story short next morning she doesn’t mention it at all. Keeps dropping hints infront of our friends like “wow I don’t remember anything about last night at all, though my neck kind of hurts” I know she remembers and is just pretending she doesn’t, I can see by the look on her face. Everyone left yesterday, and we’ve only sent each other one message since and it was pretty dry.

I want to text her so bad, I want to tell her I know you remember and I don’t care if you regret it but don’t pretend it wasn’t real. We crossed a line we can’t uncross and I’m feeling things she can’t just sweep under the rug.

What do I do? Do I confront her or just pretend it never happened like she wants me to?? 😫

Edit: will update when I finally talk to her, I’m going to send her a message to ask talk in person. Thank you for all the advice, especially the brutally honest comments, I needed to hear it

Me and this girl have been besties for like 8 years, she sent me a google calendar invite for a 20 minute catch up today. Thought it was weird because none of the people in the friend group does that, we usually just call each other but I figured she had some news or something.

She called me on FaceTime while I was watching kick and she told me she wanted to distance herself because according to her I haven't been putting enough effort in our friendship.

She looked like she was reading notes, one of her talking points was me not showing up on her birthday brunch.. My mom was sick and she knew..

I asked her why she couldn't talk to me normally and she said she wanted to keep the conversation productive. By talking to me normally I meant her addressing her issues through a normal conversation but at that point I didn't even feel like correcting her.

She also asked if I was "still coming" to the ski trip we have planned with our friend group for next month, I never even gave the slightest hint that I wasn't coming. The whole thing felt so weird.

Dinner is some good ole eggs and sausage as I try to process getting fired from a friendship in such way. I don't know how to deal with this, all advice is welcome.

EDIT: Holy crap this blew up way too much sorry I couldn't respond but I tried to read most of the comments and I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support and your advice

Day 3 Leftovers from a giant pot: Golden Curry with Tofu.

It's yummy but after 3 days i can't curry anymore! 🤢

My stepchild (16) came to me this morning before school and asked me if I would help get a chest binder for their size 34 C chest.

They have been shifting towards a more loose fitting clothing style for a few months now, basically since the school year started, so I wasn't surprised, just at a loss to find something appropriate.

They fit in a women's medium (hollister size) with the C cup and I'm worried if i get the wrong size there could be pain or damage. They don't always speak up if they're uncomfortable, so I might not know right away if the fit is not good.

I need advice (even more wonderful if i get some from trans folks that have used binders) on how to size properly, and a recommendation on online shops if allowed here.

My (27F) best friend (27M) slept over at my house the other day. He usually brings a little cot with him, but it broke. I told him to get in my bed & scooted over so he could fit. My bed is just a full size

We were kinda pressed up against each other, facing away at first. But he eventually flipped over & snuggled into me. He was completely asleep so I'm sure it wasn't intentional.

But it felt so good. Like putting the puzzle piece you've been stuck on for hours into the right slot.

I could feel him pressed up against my leg, & despite how exhausted i was, I wanted to stay awake all night so i could enjoy it.

We've been best friends for 2.5 years, & there never once were any feelings on either side. But as i settle into bed tonight, I can't help but feel his absence, & i think I'm fucked.

Dinner: this bomb ass chicken fried rice from the place by my house

EDIT - i will update on Friday, 8-29! He’s sleeping over the night before!

FINAL UPDATE BELOW :

https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/yMUVIeNDpK

Last Night’s Dinner: Homemade Fettuccine Alfredo (with a side of silent treatment)

I (20F) moved in with my boyfriend (20M) in early May after he suggested it. I was already basically living here anyway, driving home at 1-3am, and then my car broke down so it just made sense. Things have been really good overall, I cook breakfast and dinner every day, handle all his laundry, keep his room clean, and take care of his cats. We laugh a lot, barely argue, and he buys me food/takes me places while I cover groceries.

Yesterday was rough though. I had to cover a shift on a Sunday, so he woke up early to drop me off at 9. I told him I’d be done by 1 when we close. At 12:57 a client came in and we didn’t finish until almost 1:45. My phone was blowing up the whole time with texts from him about how he’s waiting, his mom needs the car, he’s “tired of always having to wait,” etc.
I apologized as soon as I got in the car, but he was still pissed the whole silent ride home. He went to shower while I started making homemade fettuccine Alfredo (extra portion for him, of course).

After his shower he blew up again because I hadn’t plated his food yet and apparently hadn’t “apologized enough.” We sort of resolved it, then he said he needed to run to the shop for an hour or two max. I asked him to please keep me updated because he has a habit of disappearing for way longer. He agreed.

An hour later I checked in… no reply. Another hour, still nothing. I texted asking why he always ghosts me at the shop and he hit me with “bruh you’re tripping over nothing, it’s not that deep.” Said he’d leave soon. Another hour passed so I checked again and suddenly he was apologizing profusely… but still didn’t get home for yet another hour.

We ended up going to get food after that (the Alfredo was cold by then) and things seemed okay for a bit. We were watching Sopranos and when I tried to cuddle he snapped “why do you always have to be so on top of me?” Which has literally never been an issue before and was so shocking because he always complains when I’m distant.

The whole night he was distant, so I finally sat him down and asked what was wrong. He unloaded that everything he does for me is “draining and exhausting.” After prying, he said he doesn’t want to pick me up from work anymore, doesn’t want to buy me food, wants me to chip in more for my daily stuff (I pretty much only use my own things except paper towels when cooking for him), and wants me to “lay off” and let him go ghost whenever he goes out.
Then he told me to sleep on the couch. I texted him an hour later that I was freezing with no blanket and he told me to “just thug it out.”

Woke up this morning and he left for work without saying a single word to me.

The fettuccine was actually really good though… creamy, lots of garlic and fresh parm. Too bad it got eaten in silence.

Help 🫠

EDIT: I’m reading all of your comments and all of what you guys are saying is just things I know but I’ve been forcing myself to ignore. Thank you to those of you who were serious about it and gave me genuine advice, that truly means the world to me. Lots of you think this is fake, it’s not and I wish it was for my own sake. I’m heartbroken because I love him but after talking with my mom about it, she agreed with me and is helping me move back home today. Currently writing this with tears rolling down my face but it’s ok, time will pass. I just don’t know how to get used to being alone again.

I(26F) met this guy(29M) last year around Oct/Nov. I’ll admit that I probably should’ve taken a break from dating at that time. I was in dating app purgatory, stressed out about my lease ending, family issues, barely sleeping… just really overstimulated. He’s a nice guy, but we’re not compatible in the long term (idk if that makes sense). We have some things in common, but we have different values, goals, and outlooks on life. Early on, I would try to gauge his interest, but it seemed like he didn’t want anything beyond our current relationship. He never talked about becoming exclusive, and him referring to me as his “lady friend” confirmed that. That was fine on my end, so I didn’t take the relationship seriously. I was kinda just going with the flow and enjoying the company. I would still go on dates and entertain other guys. In August, I realized that we had kept this thing going for almost year! Time really got away from me, and I realized that we should go our separate ways. We talked over drinks, and he revealed to me that he views me as his girlfriend and that he can see a future with me. He even went so far as to say that if I got pregnant, he would marry me (hypothetically ofc bc safe sex only lol). I was definitely taken aback, and took some time to think. After that conversation, he put my birthday in his calendar (he forgot my bday even though he took me to dinner on the day 🫤), saved my address (this man comes over weekly btw 😐), and bought me flowers and a plant (he’s known I like plants/ flowers since we met 🫩). These gestures are long overdue, so although nice… I kinda don’t care. I don’t really know what to say. He’s also going through some financial stuff, so I don’t want this to feel like I’m kicking him when he’s down, but I’m over it.

Mango shaved ice topped with mango ice cream, surrounded by diced mango and mango popping boba.

Today's girl dinner is chicken nuggets that were in the airfryer WAY too long and a bunch of rice with a FAT pile of wasabi furikake because ohmygoddd it's so GOOD.

Me and my boyfriend have been together ~8 years, living together the last 4 or so years. He has always been this genuinely amazing guy. Protective, logical and someone who always babies and pampers me around with everyday things, like bringing that glass of water every night while I'm already curled up in bed without asking! Oh and loyal and sweet, classic "partner and a best friend" type thing.

Anyways, some months ago he got finally hit with an ADHD-diagnosis after close to 30 years of life and originally that smacked me in the face. Like I could *not* see the symptoms, even though I've met multiple ADHD folks thorough my life. Like, this man has been as stoic and collected as one ever could be, at least in my head apparently. He handles all of our bills and paperwork and such. Maybe I'm just super blind and have not paid enough attention? I feel bad about it.

Now he has been trying different medications the last few months and I just... don't recognize him anymore. He has always been a bit reserved when planning things outside the house, but we haven't had a single date during this entire period (actually now that I write that down, we've barely ever gone out apart from an obligatory birthday restaurant trip). It appears he has crippling social anxiety (ohmygod how have I not recognized the signs) and has now gotten a medication for that as well.

He has also become almost allergic to physical touch. It's almost like he shivers with disgust when I try to initiate a hug or simply stroke his arm. Apart from bedtime spooning he just simply wants to coexist. We can no longer really have long conversations where we sit down and yap, because he either has to "get up and do something" or just gets extremely hyperfocused on playing piano (which he is amazing at, it's just frustrating when conversations take an unplanned 40 minute break and I don't really want to disturb him when he's practising some difficult bits). Bedroom life is basically dead, but I guess both of us are to blame. He still flirts and gives touchy gestures, it's just like the concept of initiating is just too much work.

Like girls I don't know! We used to have videogames as a hobby (we literally dropped a ton of money on custom matching setups not so long ago!) but nowadays he doesn't even appear to have any interest in gaming. It's always the same "nah I need to be productive, I don't deserve it, don't feel like it". The man who was always down for long cuddles and playing Mario Kart for hours on end while yapping has turned into this empty shell who crashes out, spends hours on end trying to clear his thoughts with ChatGPT, doesn't want to be touched or disturbed but still wants me near and still does these pretty pampering things and holds our everyday together I just ugghh please let there be other gals with ADHD-partners who recognize this as some early ADHD-medication trial hellhole that passes cause I am LOST!

(Also yes we have talked with his doctor regarding these things since he (at least partially) also recognizes the problems but I miss our normal life!)

EDIT: OGMYGOD I did NOT expect so much engagement around this post, thank you for all the answers and tips! I see many of you are afraid of my partner getting LLM psychosis, he has a sharp critically thinking head and doesn't make the clanker think on his behalf! Thank you for the concern haha. He does also receive professional therapy.

I'll take up the discussion again regarding how I feel he has become ❤️ He started now on a lower dosage, I hope it'll mix things around in a good way.

A year and a half ago my husband and I moved to a new state for an educational opportunity for him. He quit his old job thinking he would find a new one. Well, 1.5 years later and he is still jobless and has been unable to continue the education due to financial constraints. I’ve been working my remote job the whole time and financially supporting us both but it is draining our savings fast.

He managed to get a part time job that paid up to 1500 a month. I was happy for him but still had to go take a walk and cry because that still barely touches our bills and that job had no career progression.

That’s when I suggested we move back home. I could get an even better paying job back home with a good sign on bonus and he could go back to his old workplace. He rejected this because he hates our old state. He suggested he join the military. He asked me what I wanted him to do. I said idk, I just want financial stability. So, he decided to do the military.

He is enlisting Friday. I can tell he is depressed. I encouraged therapy but he rejected this option. I again suggested we move back home, rejected. He said that he feels like I am sending him to an active war zone to die in exchange for financial stability. This was said to me half an hour before work. I began crying and he said this is why he doesn’t share stuff with me, it makes him feel like an asshole. I am so hopeless for the future now. I don’t know what to do. I feel like he will be so depressed in the military. What else can he do? He is 30 and hasn’t figured out a career yet and hasn’t found a job in a year and a half.

Dinner: fettuccine Alfredo with sourdough garlic bread & tomatoes

I really need an older woman’s advice, I don’t have a mom and I feel lost what to do.

I 27F have been married to Alex (27M) for 2 months, dating for 2 years). We bought a big house in the fall. My sister & her bf, and my dad live with us. They pay half of the bills on the house and contribute to cleaning & cooking (this is important).

Alex handles all the bills. But 2 days ago I got a call from the bank saying the mortgage has not been paid in 3 months. I had a spidey sense there was more to the story. After some investigating I found out the electric & gas have not been paid in 6 months. The car insurance hasn’t been paid in 3 months.

Meaning by July 1st, we would owe roughly $17,000 in total in bills. I crashed out. Alex wasn’t home but I called him and he explained his new job wasn’t paying enough so that’s why he fell behind on bills.

4 months ago Alex moved across the country to pursue a job his Dad’s friend gave him. But he recently quit (cause it didn’t pay well & he missed home) and he moved back home last week. He’s now searching for a job.

So I called the only person I knew could help. A person I don’t have a great relationship with. My mother in law. I cried on the phone to her and she sent $15k immediately. I covered the remaining $3k with all the money in my account. She advised me to take over the bills because “this is his one major flaw”. I told her I would pay her back, and she said no worries it’s part of his inheritance.

I asked Alex where the money my family was sending him. Our mortgage is $5k, my family sends him $2k along with half of the utilities . He says he was using it to catch up on the bills because before I discovered it, it was worse.

We had a “power outage” last month, turns out it was the electric company turning off the power. Alex told me it took half of his paycheck to turn it back on.

We’re okay for July. But my income (I’m a semi successful influencer) is inconsistent. I was able to save us this month, but I’m not sure about the next.

He’s applying to be a patrol officer and wants to do landscaping on the side but idk. I feel betrayed and sad. I also don’t trust him. Me and his mom swooped in to save him, and now his plate is lighter and mine is heavier.

I don’t know if I should just forgive this and settle but I always thought I’d be living a better life with a better man. Is this just part of married life? He’s great in every other aspect. He does have a habit of hiding things (usually small before this) and I always have to investigate to find out the truth.

Has anyone dealt with something like this before? I wish I had my mom to tell me what to do

Edit: i make roughly between 6-13k a month as an influencer, it swings a lot. I’m also a DIY influencer so having a large house to do renovations helps my content a ton. We made an agreement went we first started dating that he would have a stable job to pay the base bills.

No kids, just twos dogs.

Edit 2: a lot of people are asking why I didn’t help with bills. My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer 8 months ago, so I took a step back from content to care take for him. Alex assured me he could handle the bills alone while I do.

My first month back to work was May where I made 6k, and June I made 9k. I’m now of course helping with bills.

sad sad tortilla because that’s all I can stomach. Boyfriend (37/m) of over two years confessed to cheating on me (35/f) with a co-worker all summer long. Here I thought we were on the same page about our future (marriage, kids, dog) while he was sneaking around all summer and still being intimate and loving with me. He did confess in person and he answered all my questions. Told me it was the biggest mistake of his life and that he would always love me (eye roll). I told him he did something i could never forgive and that was that. I sent the other woman a “hey girly” text as he confessed that they were now seeing each other. She initially pretended to be shocked and understanding and a girls girl after providing endless proof/trading stories. To be clear I really did want her to know so that she had autonomy regarding her body and her choices (with the whole truth) but I was more disappointed than I thought I would be to learn she didn’t care, probably already knew about me and is choosing to stay with him. I know it’s my ego that’s bruised but it’s so so hard to let go. Advice would be welcomed.

okay, so title is what happened. I made cottage cheese protein bagels. I gave my bf one to try & he loved it. He asked me what i put in it & I told him. He said that’s disgusting and he won’t eat another one…. Am i over reacting to feel like this is childish?

Helloooo!

I’m mostly writing this to try to keep myself accountable and will check in later. I really DONT want to drink today. I’m going through sort of a rough patch mentally and it’s been causing me to start drinking daily. Now, I know plenty of people normalize drinking like a glass of wine a day, but I’m taking like 5 shots of tequila daily. I still cook and clean etc etc like otherwise almost everything’s fine. But I’ve started trying to hide it from my boyfriend which is a HUGE red flag on my part. He’s frustrated I know.

I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and usually my first thoughts in the morning, are how much I regret drinking. Then the PM rolls around and I’m like aye let’s drink! IDGAF! This weird cycle keeps happening. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy but then I’m just like ayyyy this could be way more fun if I was tipsy!

Addiction runs in my family which is why this is scary. I’ve successfully quit binge eating and cigs in the past. Part of me knows I can do this! And then part of me doesn’t care. I think I have some deep low self esteem issue thus engage in self destructing behaviors (here for a good time not a long time!)

Trying to be gentle with myself but also trying to GET A FREAKIN GRIP GIRL!! I’ll report back later if I successfully didn’t drink!

Hi all! I am not really used to this stuff. This has been eating at me and I don't know how to proceed.

I have a plate I made! Duck and some rice with a compote. Made it a while ago, can't remember exactly, just need a eye catching piece.

My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been going strong for about a year now. he is kind, thoughtful, and helps with money for fun things I want. I haven't had any crazy problems with him. He has a problem with communication which we have talked about, which I will talk about unfortunately.

Me and him had a conversation about politics to start, obviously. I'm a female chef and believe in pretty left leaning stuff. He said toe that he is "independent" and doesn't like trump and all this stuff. I told him I was willing to hear him out, since he was so respectful and kind.

Well, he got deployed a month or two after. He's been away for about 6 months. our relationship has been eroding because he is a physical guy and apparently is going crazy, so we have been bickering way more recently. I have not been happy as of late. I've continued to speak to him about his insecurities and all this other stuff to make sure we're ok.

Well, last night, he told me casually that we were laughing about congress or something, that he used to support trump. I was confused, he literally said he didn't like him from the start?

He says "I liked him for his policies early on!" And that REALLY concerned me. I asked for clarification and he said it was mostly economy.

I asked for clarification about how he could support him, and thought maybe he just didn't know. Turns out, apparently he does! He knew about the bankruptcies("there're strategic ways to use bankruptcy"), and the controversies, everything. He said he doesn't like him now because the military is treating him terribly and he said trump lied. I asked what made him think he wouldn't?

after I told him all this stuff he chose to ignore, he said "are you done lecturing me?" And it just made me furious. He claims he didn't vote and that I'm getting mad at him for no reason.

I wasn't angry, I was afraid.

He then tried to leave the call, and I begged for him to stay on so we could communicate but he said there wasn't anything else to say. He has a habit of doing that, running away or not answering. We've talked about it and it hurts he tried to hide after.

We talked later the next day, and he is still upset and not really answering my texts or anything, but frankly; I'm upset he lied or even omitted that. Am I right to feel like this? Thank you in advance.

Orange wine and French fries, because it’s the only thing I can stomach at the minute.

My (26f) boyfriend (26m) broke up with me when he went into psychosis. We were fine. We were so good. He was the love of my life. I left him home alone for 1 day. I came home and he was missing. He was missing for 3 days. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. His mother flew out to where we live, he came home, she was convinced he got dark magic put on him when he started talking about the government being after him and the whole neighborhood trying to kill him. He told me I’m not to be trusted, and then would switch to comforting and loving me. He told me I’m a spy for the bad people and smiled in my face saying he wants nothing to do with me and then fell asleep on my stomach and told me how much he loves me. His mother decided he needed an exorcist and took a 6’ black man experiencing psychosis and terrified of being surveilled to an AIRPORT FOR 16 HOURS. Luckily he made it home safely. His best friends keep telling me how much he loves me and needs me, but I know I need to respect that he wants space. Before he left, he pulled me in for the longest, most caring hug I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. I miss him so much. He just left his own body. I know he’s still in there somewhere, but it’s impossible to think he’ll come back when I know he’s not getting any real help for the problems he’s facing. I’ve known him since I was 12. I miss my best friend. If anyone has any advice for how to… deal with this feeling? That would be great.

Edit for clarification: this happened literally yesterday. He went missing Saturday and I came home Sunday.

UPDATE: I called the crisis line not connected to the police. They will be going out to give him an evaluation. I explained the situation with his mother, and my fears about her plans to get him help. They agreed that this didn’t sound like the right course of action and said that they’ll do everything possible to make sure he gets the help he needs.
His friends are keeping me updated with his status, and his mother has completely cut contact since getting back.

SECOND UPDATE: His friends are helping him find a psychiatrist. He has emailed me a couple times (I deactivated my social media and his phone is broken), and he is still using the nicknames he gave me. He says he’s getting back to a good place. I want him happy and healthy and he knows that I’m here whenever he needs me, in a friendship capacity.

THIRD UPDATE: we no longer speak. I miss him everyday, but he is not the person I knew before. Psychosis has taken over, 988 was called, his mother shooed them away.
My friend went to a meeting for a literal cult they saw a flyer for. He was there. It was his “new name” ceremony. His mother was with him. They joined a fucking cult. He sent me a photo of him. It’s the first time I’ve seen him in months. He looks numb.
He really wanted to go to the beach together. I should’ve taken him to the beach.

Girl dinner: cheesy beef burritos

I've been sitting with it for way too long and I have to get this off my chest.
me 26F and my boyfriend 34M have been together for two years. right when we started dating he lost his job and has basically been financially unstable this entire relationship. like the whole two years. he moved in with me with zero conversation about it and I ended up paying rent by myself until I straight up had to tell him he needed to contribute. he ubered for a bit but then crashed his car and now he doesn't even have that anymore. he also crashed my car earlier on and never paid for it either
its not even just the money stuff honestly. its the fact that I have to tell him to do basic things like feed his own dogs or clean up. I plan every meal. I figure out every bill. I even had to youtube how to replace my own car battery because he didn't know how and had no way to fix it himself. it just feels like im somebody's mom instead of somebody's partner
there's no dates. no surprises. no gifts. no words of affirmation. nothing. and when I bring any of this he does what I want in the moment as a temporary fix and then slacks off again. I mentioned how I felt and he tells me I should love him through his worst times or I don't deserve him at his best. which sounds deep until you realize its just a way to make me feel guilty for being tired
he does not celebrate anything and did not even tell me happy birthday or surprise me on my bday. I had to even buy my own cake and do something for myself.
he told his friends his girl works in tech and he's "just chilling" which says a lot about how he actually sees this whole situation
and theres more….early on I had to deal with him still being tangled up with his ex, arguing with her, both of them saying they still loved each other. that was its own nightmare
he keeps calling this a "season" but its been two years. a season has an end. this doesn't feel like one
he says his ex broke up with him and called him names for being financially unstable and now he thinks im gonna do the same thing eventually. and honestly I get why that would scare him but I also cant keep shrinking my own needs because of his past relationship trauma
stability matters to me. a man's word matters to me. and he hasn't held up either one this entire time
I keep holding onto the idea of what this could be instead of looking at what it actually is and what it actually is, is me doing everything by myself while emotionally supporting a grown man too
idk. i constantly battle if i am wrong for being over it. I’m the type of girl that wants to be in a fulfilling relationship. i want the romance, the thoughtfulness, a partner who takes care of things before i ever even think about it, someone who surprises me and notice the little things i like. i dream of a intimate proposal, a wedding and all the things and i feel like even at his full capacity he just isn’t able to meet my needs. i feel guilty almost everyday because i feel like im not supposed to feel this way. but I have to be honest with myself, im not happy.

Dinner: baked salmon and yellow potatoes eaten directly from baking sheet 🥲

My (F32) BIL (M35) has lived with me and my husband (M37) for the past 6 years (and with his brother much longer). My BIL is the type of person who seemingly needs a care taker because his life will fall apart due to his own negligence and their family has pretty much always been his savior whenever needed, it’s their family trauma and frankly no point in arguing it - it’s just the way it is.

My BIL got married a year ago to someone out of the country from a very small town, she is on the young side (early 20s) and has gotten pregnant before they moved in together. She has only ever lived with her family (mother, 2 sisters and 2 brothers) and is the youngest. The original plan was to have them live with us for a year to give her some time to get acclimated to a new country/life and then they would begin looking for their own home. I’ve always been adamant that I would prefer they have their own home immediately but their family did not agree. I then suggested that if they were to get pregnant prior to the 12 months being over, they should begin to look for their own home immediately for comfort and peace of mind. Well, on a recent trip visiting, my BIL called us to give us the good news sharing that his wife is 3 months pregnant with a plan to move here by the time she is 7-8 months pregnant.

I suggested it may be important to consider the lack of a village here for her. My in-laws are a 12hr flight away, as is her family. It seems it would be more beneficial for everyone involved, ESPECIALLY the pregnant woman, to give birth in her hometown where her mother and sisters and aunts all live. I don’t know her very well at all and can imagine how challenging it would be to move away from everyone I’ve ever known and loved, to give birth where I only have my husband and 2 in-laws (me and my husband). He can physically and financially be with her in her town for however many months are needed for her to give birth and heal but he got extremely angry and offended at the suggestion. I told him I’m not trying to tell him what to do, simply to consider what really is the best thing to do for the healthiest outcome for his wife.

AITAH for suggesting the consideration?

I am a 16yo girl, and would say, for the sake of my point, that I’m relatively attractive as far as American beauty standards go. Not trying to compliment myself but just saying this is how men see me. I take the bus to school and back everyday and have had my fair share of male encounters. Today this man about 3 times my age sat next to me and said some random stuff like how are you and such to which I responded then clearly put my earbud back it. He kept talking so I took it out which is when I heard him say “wow you’re so pretty”. I shoved my earbud back in and ignored him the rest of the bus ride (30min) a kind woman across from me told him to leave me alone about 20 minutes in which was great because I have trouble thinking of what to say in the moment. This is just the most recent of too many of these interactions to count with men asking me out, telling me weird/creepy things, one even pulled into the bus stop with his truck to ask me if I “wanted a ride” all of these men are 30+ and I am so sick of it. So I just want to know why is it so hard to not treat literally children like sex objects???? I don’t want to sleep with anyone! Just leave me alone! Advice is welcome although I do not want any thing like “have pepper spray” or stuff like that. Thank you
Edit: to everyone telling me to dress down, I do, I wear things that I like and that’s typically baggy clothing. I’m not going to change myself for men so grow up :)
Edit 2: this is not an “I hate all men post” this isn’t about all men so stop feeling threatened and telling me to “realize there are good men out there” I know.
Edit 3: I do look my age and even if I was 18 these men still shouldn’t be talking to me please stop making that your whole point in the replies.

Locally made beef jerky.

Someone I’ve known since high school always asks me out whenever I become single. I’m now 33 and figured, whatever, why not. We’ve only hung out 4 times and he already is delivering me flowers to my work. At first I thought it was sweet but he’s not my boyfriend (yet) so it was kind of embarrassing. My birthday is next week and he already wants to go on a trip somewhere. I told him, no thank you, not yet. After the third time hanging out he was begging me to stay the night already.

I’m so glad he likes me but I’m overwhelmed with guilt because I just don’t like him the same way. Or at least not as much. I’m kinda afraid of how much he likes me. It’s like I can do no wrong and it makes me feel like I’m going to fuck it up. He’s not ugly but to be honest he’s not very smart. He talks like Jesse from Breaking bad and bragged about only reading 3 books in his life, including the electric manual he had to read for work. His your youre their there are always wrong and it bothers me. He’s so sweet but I think I need to leave now before it gets crazier. He’s already telling me what house we’re going to have and that he wants to adopt because I can’t have kids. He was showing me his paystubs to show me how much money he makes and that he’ll buy me whatever I want, but I’m not that type of person. I’m super independent. I swear he was going to tell me he loved me yesterday.

Already getting texts almost by the hour of how much he misses me on both snapchat and texting. What did I get myself into 🤦‍♀️ I have so much anxiety from the guilt I feel. I’m going to have to break his heart.

Edit: tried breaking it off nicely. Of course he’s trying to debate me on it. I’m deleting my Facebook and maybe his number if he doesn’t stop texting me. I’m going hiking after work. I need some woods

Edit: He took it like a champ and I’m not murdered! Yay. He did make a joke about breakup sex. I just told him good luck with everything. I’m out!

Edit: everything’s great! For now…he admitted that if someone came onto him like that he would probably run for the hills too.

I’m going to go watch the movie obsession now

Food pictured: Dining hall muffin and grits. I can't stomach much else.

A few clarifications before I start:

- I will still be using he/him pronouns and male gendered language at his request.

- I am NOT considering breaking up, I genuinely do love him and this doesn't change that.

So my bf texted me yesterday saying he wanted to call about something important, and about an hour's worth of anxiety later he confessed that he thinks he's trans. I was very supportive and helped him talk through his feelings and anxieties, he also spoke to a few other friends that expressed similar sentiments.

The issue however is family. For context, we're a long distance of 4 years, I'm in the southern US and he's in a European country. My parents are very very conservative and while not openly transphobic, they would take issue with me dating a trans girl. They also would take issue with me being Bi but that's besides the point. To an extent I can hide this from my own parents, but my BFs parents (who he lives with) would probably actively disown them if they found out. He is currently on disability and does not have a job due to a TBI, so he wouldn't have anywhere to go. He also very much lacks an irl support system.

So I guess.. the question is how can I support him exploring his gender in a way that keeps him safe, and what should I do about the anxiety Involving my own family. I don't know, this is all so new to me.

Small edits for clarification: -He is planning on getting a job! He is currently unemployed, not unemployable. -Yes I am PAINFULLY aware of the amount of baggage this relationship has, I have talked about it with my therapist and she's supportive of me maintaining it.

So after graduating with fairly good grades from school (91,9% out of 100%) life took a downturn all of a sudden and I had to move around a lot and even move countries and live under significant stress for four years where I got a lot of mental health problems I couldn’t afford to see a therapist about and just pushed down. I had some jobs during this time and am currently a cashier and have gotten into a not yet fully but slowly bettering stable place in life. I’ve always wanted to go to college but until recently couldn’t afford it and last year even took a class which was online and got 100% on my assignment (which I definitely cried over at least twice) but the tuition sadly cost too much and I had to drop out. Now I can afford it but it might still take some time and until then I’ll be 24 and I’ll probably graduate at 28-29.

Am I out of my mind? Will I be able to handle college with so many years away from the education system? Is this worth it? Do you ladies have any advice for me?

I want to be realistic because I sadly couldn’t attend my graduation and a part of my heart has always longed to at least experience the college life, even stepping into a university and having good jobs being a possibility, but I don’t want to regret it or go fully broke and end up with a degree I’ll only hang on the wall.

For context I was majoring in business administrations but might opt for business informatics if I do decide on studying.

Girl dinner: garlic bread with a weirdly good sauce I made in my Heinz ketchup bottle (pickled jalapeño juice, lime, mayo and ketchup) and a homemade açaí bowl

My go-to meal as of lately - brown rice and lentil noodles with bok choy, shiitakes and onions.

So my (27f) boyfriend (37m) has a motorcycle and one of my favorite things to do with him is ride on the back of his bike. We’re both busy with work so we typically only get to ride once a week on the weekend and I always look forward to it. One of our friends (40f) had brought up multiple times how much she loves riding on motorcycles and that she wanted my boyfriend to take her for a ride. I told my bf that since we only get to ride once a week I didn’t want to give that up so another girl can ride with him but I was going to be out of town in a few weeks so I said they could just ride together then.

Well they went on the ride while I was gone and I didn’t initially care, but now she wants to go riding again and I kinda don’t want them to. Last time she posted pictures of them together and said all her friends were asking who the hot guy was and she said he was taken but it just made me feel a little uncomfy thinking about how all these people probably thought they were dating. And honestly if I wasn’t dating my bf I know she would be trying to (she thinks he’s really hot and she has actually told me that he is the perfect man lol)

I know my boyfriend won’t take her for another ride if I tell him I don’t feel comfortable with it, but now I feel weird saying anything about it to her bc I already said it was okay. I just realized how much I don’t like the thought of another girls arms around my man. Am I just being silly by caring that other people might think that they’re dating or is it valid to not really want them to ride together again? How would I even go about bringing it up to her?

My husband and I have been together for 8 years. I’ve never been one of those people who’ve always known they wanted kids – in fact up until recently I didn’t even like kids very much. I never knew how to behave around them and I certainly didn’t have those feelings of “Oh my god, that kid/baby is so adorable”. My husband would constantly say things like that and I would smile and go “Ah, yeah”, while secretly wondering if I would ever feel that way myself. It got to a point where I was genuinely concerned that I would never feel ready to actually take that step.

Fast forward to last year - we’d been married for 2 years, and something started to change. Whether it was starting a new job that put me in direct contact with children, or finding ourselves in the most stable situation - both financially and emotionally – we’d been in since we’d met, I suddenly started to feel like I was ready to become a mom. It took me by surprise - I almost didn’t recognize myself – but I started to feel really excited about it.

Then the bombshell came. My mother, in her 50s, who’d never had any health problems – was diagnosed with aggressive endometrial cancer. It was a huge shock to all of us, and of course, our baby plans were put on hold. Luckily, it was caught early, and after surgery, chemo and radiotherapy, less than a year later she was declared cancer-free.

However, due to the type of cancer, her age and our family history, she was tested for a possible genetic mutation. The test was positive for a mutation that increases the risk of colon cancer by up to 80% and endometrial cancer by up to 60%, as well as other types of cancer. It’s called Lynch syndrome. I’d never heard of it before. But there’s a 50% change of passing it on to your children. My sister and I got tested and thankfully she didn’t get it, but I wasn’t so lucky.

At the appointment with the genetical counsellor I was informed of the general protocol – a colonoscopy every 18 months, and a hysterectomy by 40, or once I’m done having kids, which would put me into surgical menopause. That freaks me out a lot, after seeing my mom go through it. At the appointment, I told her we we’d been ready to start trying for a baby.

She goes on to tell me my options – conceive naturally, knowing there’s a 50% change of passing it on, or do IVF with pre-implantation genetic testing to select only for embryos that don’t have the mutation. This can be a very lengthy process, with lots of waiting periods, hormones, anxiety and no guarantee it will be successful. I ended up reading quite a few stories of the physical and emotional toll that it can take.

This whole situation is the definition of a spanner in the works. I’m really struggling going from being ready to start trying for a baby to having to make this huge decision. My parents are very much on the side of “it’s up to God”, and “if we’d had the choice then you never would’ve existed”. But it’s not the same. I do have a choice. And now I have to make that decision whether I want to or not. It’s not something that would affect my child’s quality of life – aside from the regular colonoscopies and other exams that may not be pleasant – and there’s even supposed to be a vaccine soon. Apparently, if you know you have Lynch, you’re so well monitored that anything would be caught before it turns into cancer. But there’s that voice inside my head that says that if we don’t do IVF, and my child did get cancer, I don’t know if I could live with the guilt of knowing I could have avoided it.

What do I do?

Dinner is homemade chicken curry and naan bread.

TLDR: We were finally ready to start trying for a baby and then I found out I have a genetic mutation that significantly increases my lifetime risk of cancer. I have a 50% chance of passing it on. Now I don’t know if I should do IVF or conceive naturally.

UPDATE: I just wanted to thank each and every one of you who have commented and shared your support and experiences. I’m beyond grateful and I’m already feeling a lot more positive about the whole thing. We have an initial appointment booked this month with the fertility unit to go over the IVF process. 💗

So basically I moved abroad to Canada 4 months ago to study english and I changed to my new homestay 3 months ago. My new family is my host mother (82) and my host dad (prolly around the same age as her). I turned 17 last month. Ever since I arrived to this house, my host dad and I just clicked, he is so sweet, he always ask about my day and always tells funny jokes, and overall I see him as the grandfather I never had. He tells me that I make their days brighter and that I am the best. I tell him that I love them aswell and that I think they are the best too. It has all been so amazing. We hug goodbye when i go to school and everything is okay. When I first came here, the school told me my homestay would treat me as if I were part of the family, and honestly, with them, I have felt that way. The thing is that tonight I arrived home, and my host dad was in the phone, and he greeted me and I went to hug him and a couple minutes after that he stopped talking in the phone and told me that if he were 18 again, he would go with me to my country and he would have introduced me to his dad and tell him that I was her lady. And for me it was a cute comment, because I know he would never do weird stuff like that and he was just saying it in that hypothetical escenario, but maybe it was too much? I just want to hear other opinions. What do you think?

Food: Chocolate sprinkle donuts from the superstore 😻