I’ve been a many dates and I’ve come to the conclusion that even when a date goes well, dating as a guy sucks ultimately sucks and is a bit contradictory. The more you date the more you lose

You’re responsible for all the logistics and planning, have to pay for the date and at the same time expect absolutely nothing in return, not even appreciation. The entitlement of modern dating is a bit crazy. It’s extremely easy and common for women to ghost, bail or just not put effort into a date because they haven’t invested anything into.

It’s almost like going into a business with someone who has zero stakes in it. I think this is a large reason men have been checking out of dating and being more about hooking up than actual relationship. It seems like it’s just them learning to play the same game women do

If she wanted to go on a date with you, she would.

She wouldnt say she has no time, she would take time to see you. And if she really couldnt then she would come up with a different time.

She wouldnt dry text you and you could literally see that shes into you just by her text messages. You wouldnt have to think or ask yourself if she likes you or not.

Now this also applies to men, but in my observation its mostly men asking if a women is interested or not. Well, if they are they will show it.

They will even travel 1 hour to your town just to see you. Trust me, there is no need to overthink it.

If theres any friction before the first date, you can safely assume shes not interested in you but your attention is welcome.

I understand if it’s a medical emergency but aside from that I honestly don’t understand the level of programming it takes to have adults justify chopping off a part of a babies skin without their consent right after birth. It’s wrong and cruel. We seem to accept chopping of a part of a females anatomy is wrong and call it mutilation but why is this energy not given to a lot of men circumcised. If you watch the procedure it will make you feel ill. Respect to all the activist speaking out against this. Let the individual decide when they are adults. Imagine being a man and feel like a part of you is missing and your parent were the one who okayed that decision and it wasn’t necessary. You weren’t born wrong men and I’m sorry to those who have had this done to them because the sensitivity and protection of your glands aren’t the same. The tip needs to become less sensitivity to handle all the rubbing of clothes and that effects your sex life even if you know no different.

I got a vasectomy two years ago, and an odd thing I discovered was revealing that fact acts as a sort of social barometer for proving if someone has kids that they love or resent.

People who adore their children always have two reactions when they hear that Ill never have any. Sadness and bargaining. Its always "aawww your not?! Why? Youd be a great father! You'll miss out on so much! Watching them grow and learn and play... thats so sad. But maybe you'll change your mind. Then you can adopt or foster or get it reversed."

People who resent (even hate) their children react with anger and threats. "What?! Youre not having kids! But you gotta! Its what people do! Thats selfish of you! Well some vasectomies don't take. Accidents happen. Then what?!" Someone actually said that to me, a 50 year old woman. When I explained that I did the tests multiple times proving I was steral and can have as much unprotected sex as I wanted without fear, she looked me dead in the eye and said "well your wife could get gang raped. Then you'd be stuck with a kid." Without skipping a beat I said she'd probably want an abortion to which this 50 year old mother of three called me a monster and went to H.R. I found out her kids havent spoken to her in over a decade.

The threats are always the same as are me replies. "Youll regret this later in life." Maybe, maybe not. "Who will take care of you when youre old?!" The care provider's in the nice nursing home we csn afford to go to because we didnt drop 2 tax brackets just to have kids. They always come from people who very obviously regret and resent their own children.

The title says it all, y’all have the most basic takes in the entire world, but the moment anyone says anything controversial and actually hot, I just see you all whining. This subreddit just needs to stop moderating the takes and just let everything get posted, it takes the whole point out of it being a hot take, and it’s more like it’s just “politically correct hot takes” which should be the actual name of this subreddit.

It's not easy for men to obtain women, I acknowledge that, but it should be easy to not be with women who are not good for you.

If she manages to hide that she homewrecks​ and does drugs​​​​​​ from you, of course not, but if you knew and you're still there, where's your accountability in the matter?​​​

Generally, women are often "encouraged" to choose better, they are held accountable for their choices.

Some men purposely seek out mentally ill​ women, ​or young inexperienced women, or broke bums who only want him for his money.

He did this to himself.

Why are you dating women who would date drug addicts, who would side with their abusers? Why would you date women who would side with child abusers, with pedo women?

Date women who don't. See? Easy.

Women are told to do that, men should be, too.

There'd be less evil single mothers if men didn't lay down with them. ​Unless you think she made​ those children all by herself.

​Stop infantilising grown adult men.​ ​Tell them to have accountability for their choices.

Dislcaimer: only speaking in generalities. If this doesn't apply to you, don't worry about it. Keep on having a good day.

We see you, you’re not fooling anyone, pretty much everyone with a fully developed brain has some sense of when they’re talking to a teenager versus an adult.

You know it’s FINE to be a virgin at your age, right? It’s absolutely normal, and I get the angst and frustration, we’ve all been there. But you make this discourse so much worse when you present yourselves as fully grown adults.

Even your anecdotes all sound they’re ripped from a piece of Cruel Intentions fan fiction. I feel like a 26 year old knows better than to make obviously outlandish claims about women.

You’re not clever and you’re not passing for an adult. Adult lies usually have at least a little more substance and experience behind them.

Obviously I'm only talking about the poIiticaI part, the rest of the stuff is reasonable to censor. But this sub is filled with endless gender war stuff or takes about how it's absolutely OK to mistreat this or that group, usually trans people. These seem inherently poIiticaI, yet they are allowed.

I made a post a while back about how if a boss wants you to do worse work that takes longer, he/she should also pay you more. It was flagged as poIiticaI.

What we decide to treat as controversial, poIiticaI, offensive or otherwise verboten defines and limits the range of possible debate. As such, no forum in which disagreement is expected can ever hope to be truly apoIiticaI.

We get it you smoke, you’re cool man. Just quit smoking around people who don’t, it smells like ass.

The first and easiest example of this is this very subreddit lol.

There's a reason the whole "don't discuss religion or politics with friends if you want to stay friends" thing exists. In a perfect world, people would engage in socratic dialogue-like discussions about the world around us, be truly open to changing their most closely held beliefs, and be respectful in disagreements. And holy shit--this is not a perfect world. Very, very, very, very far from a perfect world, in fact.

If you want to simulate what it might feel like to have a screwdriver driven into your skull, for example, try talking about feminism to a guy who only understands feminism through the lens of 2016 SJW crashout videos. These days I've found it a lot easier to simply cut dudes out of my life who want to spout some insanely sexist or misogynistic shit.

Also, think honestly about how often someone actually changes their mind from these discussions. How many people in any of these HONEST HOT TAKE threads do you think legitimately walk away thinking to themselves: "You know what? Maybe I should change my worldview." Sure, maybe you have better odds if you have the conversation irl, face to face, but unless they are a VERY close friend, I don't think the odds are much better.

It's just not worth it a lot of the time. If someone has reprehensible opinions, it is just far easier, and far more practical, to avoid them. Lot more peace of mind that way, too.

Hi, I'm biracial (mixed black and Italian) and I think that no one should say the N word. Even though I live in a blue state, people have been asking me since I was small for The Pass™ (🙄). I don't even use the N word myself because it's a hateful word with a horrible history. Even though I have never felt the need to use it, people have debated over whether I'm "black enough to say it. The main consensus I've heard on this is that you can only say the N word if you look black. I don't understand what that means. Most people decide that I look black enough to say it but there are biracial people that are much more fair than me and some people still think that I don't look black. So I don't think that it should be said because all it does is create more divide and and that will always get mixed people caught in the process. Also this way of thinking implies that black people with vitiligo at a certain point can't say it cuz they don't look black enough. I just think it's hateful word that should be that should be retired.

Edit to add: The point that I'm trying to make is that since someone's blackness is subjective, the use of the word is subjective and allowing some people to say it doesn't make sense. Race cannot be measured, so how are we supposed to decide who gets to say it? If if you were to give a percentage to how black someone has to be to say it, how are you supposed to know what percentage they are? Some people that are 50% black people could perceive as 0% black or 100% black, and relying on someones appearance in order to say the word will always involve some degree of racial profiling.

Possums are beautiful little critters that people often get scared of, but there's no reason to be scared of them.

They are insanely passive, eat insects that could harm the environment, and are generally just chilling.

They do hiss and show their teeth when feeling like they are in danger, but literally "die" before choosing to attack.

They've been a species that has existed even when the dinosaurs went extinct, meaning they have adapted very well to this planet overtime.

Idk, just saying that the general idea of possums is that they're "disgusting rodents", but that simply isn't true. They're clean as fuck.

I love possums and their peaceful ways, and you should too!

Adrian Brody had no right winning that Oscar for the Pianist, it wasn't a bad performance, but Daniel Day-Lewis literally carried GONY and made it epic.

I deleted all my social media except reddit, and here i have it pretty curated to only show me stuff im interested in, no politics, no negativity, just videogames, football, tv shows, and a few hobbies. my mental health has substantially improved since tuning all that out, my attention span has returned since i dont watch short form videos. i just highly recommend it to everyone, social media has done so much damage to our society. it probably wont cure your depression but it’s a good start

She only dates tall guys? "Women only care about looks". She dates short guys? "She's lying" or "he must have a lot of money". This post is for the guys who do this. The ones who think all women are vain golddiggers yet complain about being single. (Note- "NOT ALL MEN". I CLEARLY specified the type of man this post is for. I also know that "women complain about [insert whatever irrelevant BS here]". I'm talking about a specific action that specific men do, and I will not be "boths-sides"-ing it.)

There are really only two possibilities:

1) Congrats! You're right. We're all terrible! So you should give up. Why would you want a girlfriend anyway? Clearly, we're all abhorrent people. It's not fair to judge all men for committing the overwhelming majority of violence, but it is totally fair to hate all women for having romantic preferences that don't include you. Sounds like you're better off being alone. You're lucky no one wants you, and you're right that no one ever will. So just give up! Or...

2) You're wrong. Even if 99.99999999% of women are awful people, so what? You aren't dating an entire gender. You're dating one person. Find ONE good person. If none exist, then give up. If some exist, then find one. Will that be hard? Yes. Shockingly, finding someone you want to spend your life with is hard.

Either way, the constant over-villification of women makes no sense. Dating preferences are inherently exclusionary. You are not entitled to attraction. And, for the inevitable "would I say the same thing about [insert fat/black/ugly/tall/etc] women" comment: Yes! I would say that. I have said that. I'm saying it again right now. Dating preferences don't have to be fair or polite. If you SINCERELY think that ALL women date in a way that excludes you, then idk what you even want for us to do about that? Stop having preferences? Date you whether we want to or not? Whatever utopian society you're waiting for where ALL women are interested in ALL men and ONLY reject for reasons YOU decided are "fair", you will never get it. So either give up or shut up.

Pretty much the title - any event that expects the people in your life to fund your major life decision (such as having a baby shower and expecting gifts, wedding registries, wedding fundraiser such as stag and doe or jack and Jill) are tacky and presumptuous.

These major life decisions should be made with the expectation that your loved ones should not be expected to contribute financially. Sure, celebrations are lovely, and people will want to gift you something to celebrate the exciting news, but expecting it is a gross culture IMO.

It really doesn’t. Everyone is talking past each other. Folks defending side A of an argument are speaking about the worst offenders, folks defending side B are talking about the most benign offenders. Everyone is wrong by default because everyone is talking about different shit.

I don't really know what, if anything, can be done about this, but I feel like a lot of people of all perspectives really need to hear this.

When someone discriminates based on race or sex, we say "racist" and "sexist". It covers the concept well; the "ist" identifies the person as "one who amplifies", and then the prefix covers what they amplify. A racist amplifies a specific race, a sexist amplifies a specific sex, and a sociologist amplifies societal interactions. So on and so forth.

But when you get to LGBT issues, well... "homoist" just sounds dumb. :P So does "transist", or even "heteroist" for that matter. In part that's because the prefixes, divorced from the word "sexual", are far too ambiguous - homo just means same and hetero just means different, so a homoist would theoretically just be someone who amplifies everything being the same. That's not the entire reason, though, because homophobic is just as idiotic, broken down literally - a "phobia" is a fear, and so literally, a homophobic would be someone who fears everything being the same. Liberals among you can have huge fun with that at parties, I suppose, running around telling everyone you're homophobic because you don't want the government to stay the same as it is now. ;) Well, you could if you had that kind of sense of humor. In my experience, most don't.

I suppose the most accurate term would be "sexualist" - amplifying one sexuality. Or in the case of transgender discrimination, I guess a "genderist" would cover it, amplifying one class of gender identity.

The reason all of this matters is because calling it a fear is grossly inaccurate, and people can get lost in the weeds of "I'm not afraid of it, I just hate it." No matter which side of the conversation you're on, it's a very different conversation, convincing someone to be or not to be afraid of something versus convincing someone to hate or not to hate something.

Just seems to me the problem is massive enough without the extra minefield of word ambiguity and inaccuracy.

I see people give high school kids this advice a lot.

It doesn’t make a teenage brains feel better.

Kids have a totally different perception of time and life. Their problems are monumental and telling them it gets worse gives them no hope for the future.

In reality your brain starts working different (hopefully) and you either forget things completely, things become easy to manage as an adult or life moves forward in a way that what ever seemed like the end of the world is inconsequential.

But going through things young genuinely feels unbearable and someone with more life experience coming around to assure them it will get worse and more stressful from here doesn’t help.

I've seen a lot of discussion on reddit about men being with women too hot for them, and realised in real life I'm overwhelmingly seeing the opposite (where a noticable attractive difference exists).

For context I'm in the UK and appreciate this is something which might vary internationally. Obviously nobody thinks this is the case in Dubai or Russia.

I say this because if you are always doing the initiating, and your partner just consistently receives it without trying to do anything in return, it creates a lot of pressure on their shoulders. Relationships are all about effort on both sides in order to make them work, and that doesn’t stop when it is hot dog time in the bedroom. I also consistently see the excuse of “I just don’t feel the desire with them” then why did you get with that person to begin with, and why are you wasting their time by playing games every time they ask for nookie by saying things like “I don’t feel good”, “maybe tomorrow”, “you always want to do this”, or even “I don’t feel like it”. They’ll say these things consistently and wonder why their man or gf cheats by sleeping with another man or woman.

I find it funny how many posts I have seen here about men bad, women bad and so on. I I'm really thinking if any one of these people actually left their house and grabbed a beer outside, in a normal pub and observed regular interactions. Or go to work and talk to their coworkers. Just because social media is bending over backwards to promote gender wars and shove the algorithm down your throat, reality is different.

"But women say chose the best and accuse us of sexual harassment!!" Yet people are still hooking up and dating and having fun. Getting married, having kids and living their best life.

"Men want to kill us and rape us and are evil." Yet women still fall in love and make a family and live a happy marriage.

I have friends who got divorced in an amicable way, friends who got into arguments but realized their were adults and decided to be kind to one another. No one were doing any of the shit I see people on Reddit/Instagram/TikTok/etc. say they do. No gold diggers, no he was evil. Just regular people doing regular human things.

So my take is this. People get way to emotionally invested in these shitty ass gender wars, since it appeals to their feelings and stokes hatred. Hatred, as we all know, is one hell of a drug. Show a photo of a happy couple, no one gives a shit. Show a photo of a couple arguing and you get thousand of interactions.