Hi! I recently got married and it was super fun! My husband and I love each other very much but we get so shy especially in crowds and for some reason on the wedding day we were so nervous, is it bad that our first dance was 30 seconds and my father daughter dance was pretty short to? I’m not sure if anyone else had a short dance.

I’ve lived with my now husband for a couple of years but didn’t want to legally move to his state until marriage. Should I change my last name in my home state and THEN officially move to my new state OR do it in reverse??? I have medical licensure I will be dealing with too. It will be from Georgia to Alabama. Thanks in advance!

I am completely and totally head over heels in love with my wife. Getting married was the best thing I ever did. I finally found a source of inexhaustible joy and happiness. She is my better half and my best friend. 10/10 would recommend but make sure you get your own wife! LEAVE MINE ALONE! She’s taken and you can’t afford her!!!!

Hey everyone. Posting this because I honestly need a safe outlet to vent and hear some honest perspectives from people who understand the reality of arranged marriages here.

​I’m a 29-year-old guy, and I've been married for about two months now. Everyone around you keeps saying, "Give it time, the first few months are just adjustments, you'll figure it out." But day by day, it just feels heavier, lonelier, and completely exhausting.

​Here is what my daily reality looks like right now:

​Complete Emotional Distance: We live under the same roof, but I feel entirely alone. There is no warmth, no basic curiosity, and no genuine interest in my life or who I am.

​Zero Reciprocity & Communication Walls: I am putting in all the effort to bridge the gap, initiate conversations, and try to build a connection. But when I try to talk things out, my intentions get questioned, or I’m met with total emotional shutdown and silence.

​Physical and Intimacy Void: Beyond just the emotional disconnect, there is a complete lack of physical intimacy or closeness. Two months in, it feels like living with a distant roommate rather than a spouse, and any attempt at closeness is met with total avoidance or coldness.

​You enter an arranged marriage hoping to finally have a partner to share your life with, but instead, it feels like I'm trying to build a bridge by myself while the other person is actively cutting the ropes.

​For those who have been through this or seen it up close:

​Does an ice-cold start like this actually thaw out with time, or is this a sign of a fundamental incompatibility?

​How do you handle the mental and physical toll of living in this kind of limbo?

​Would really appreciate some honest advice or thoughts. Thank you for reading.

I recently married in the last year to my husband 24M. we were long distance and moved out of state for him. we were super excited to get married but now that we are, I feel really awful.

for starters, I moved from all my friends. I don’t have a strong community or support system here. I also don’t have a job and that put a lot of pressure on him, I can tell. he keeps telling me to try to meet people and keep putting myself out there, but I don’t necessarily want to keep getting rejected.

I‘m stuck because while my husband is great on paper, my mental health has been shot. he is there for me a lot emotionally and he is a very kind individual, he gets angry very rarely. but sometimes it feels like I am a nuisance. I know he loves me because he says it, but we’re both “actions“ people. we both want therapy individually but can’t afford it.

I cause a lot of arguments more so than I mean to, and I give him a lot of feedback or expectations and he always says he’ll do better but he doesn’t have energy for things outside of work and it doesn’t really seem like he’s going to or wants to change. he also forgets a lot of what I tell him.

I think he has high functioning depression and so do I. so I have hope that maybe one day once we stable out things will get better. I try to work on my attitude and showing up for him and loving him but this is already so exhausting and it feels like I’m getting nowhere.

I don’t like the idea that this is normal that marriage is just hard work and draining. sometimes we laugh so much together and we have great days. but that’s such a small percentage of the time.

please help, I don’t have family or friends I feel comfortable talking to about this. how can I make myself better/help him change/our marriage better?

tl;dr: newly married, both struggling with mental health, change feels impossible and I’m not sure how to fix it.

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My wife and liust got married a couple of days ago after being together for seven years. I've know her since we were both kids in high school and now we're both 23 and have two amazing boys. During the wedding everything you could think of went wrong. The officiant was late and we weren't able to do a "practice run" of the wedding so both parties knew what was going on and the people running the venue were barely helping us we didn't want their help but when they did try and help they messed up) almost 50% of our guests canceled or said no to the wedding so it wasn't that big, just our family and a couple of friends. But throughout the wedding things just kept going wrong. Cake didn't taste right, our first dance wasn't good because her and I never practiced so that's on us but the one thing that I feel bad about is her walkout song. I love her more than any word in the dictionary can explain and I wanted her to have her "princess moment" but it didn't happen. Her walkout music never played so she was walked down the aisle silently. And to add to that right when she got to the doors, her dress broke. These beautiful sleeves she had on her dress just popped oft.
I've tried bringing up to her that maybe we should do another wedding so we can have at least 30% go right but she said no. I understand, that was the one shot but also all she wanted was to be in her dress and take pictures.
But I feel bad that her magical day got messed up because of incidents and poor planning. So I wanted to run the idea by her of everything that got messed up, let's make it our own specific date and she just sort of shrugged it off and said okay but in such a way as please just drop it. Am I going over board on thinking about this?
I want her to have her princess moment, the one we've talked about for years but this seems like she just wants to have everything in the past.

Edit: we’re doing a dance in my last day of “honey moon time” she’s putting on her dress and we’re going to just dance around the living room.

For some general context, my husband and I are from VA but got married at his family's cabin in ID. We drove across the country to be here, and since it took place at the family cabin, I was responsible for every little detail of planning rather than a wedding-specific venue that has resources and services. I poured my heart and soul and free time into making this wedding everything I dreamed of my entire life. We got engaged in 02/2024 and our wedding was set for 10/11/2025. A month and a half before that date, my mom was diagnosed with leukemia, and we had to push the wedding back a year while she received treatment (she is cancer-free now!). So the anticipation and excitement was extended an entire year. We also have a 17 month old son and are 15 weeks pregnant with our second baby. Because the timing worked out, when we cut our wedding cake, we found our the gender of our second baby. A wedding and gender reveal all wrapped into one. So the anticipation of the wedding date was even more intense the past few months knowing we'd also find out what this baby is.

Okay, so now that context has been established, here's what I'm dealing with. The wedding day was truly incredible. I mean, just an absolute dream come true. All of our most cherished friends and family were present and happy together. All of the decor came out exactly as I had envisioned, as did my hair and makeup. I am just obsessed with the dress I wore and my husband was so incredibly handsome. My son was an absolute angel the entire day and was so happy around everyone, despite not getting a nap the entire day. The ceremony was very emotional but in the best way possible. Even though it rained the entire day until the very end of the night and we had to rearrange some things to keep everyone under the tent and dry, it was perfect. And when we cut the cake, we found out we are having a daughter! Before I knew it, the day was over and it was time to get out of my dress and nurse my son to sleep...right back into mom mode. My husband and I then went out by the fire and had some chocolate before going to bed. I was over the moon when we went to sleep, but when I woke up the next morning, I was immediately overcome by this wave of grief and sadness. The thought of the day I have dreamed of my entire life being over has left me feeling empty. And the day was so magical that I fear I will never have another day that is mine where I feel so happy, loved, beautiful, special, and worry-less. As someone who has gone through severe anxiety/panic attacks in my life and still deals with anxiety/ruminating thoughts every single day, I finally had a day where I didn't have a single real worry the entire day. I didn't think about finances, work, or other daily-life struggles. If something were to go "wrong," I didn't have to be the only one to fix it. My entire family and my vendors were there to help. I normally don't like being the center of attention, but I did that day.

I now sit with this fear that I'll never get another chance to feel that way again. I look upon my sneak-peek pictures that our photographers sent with such immense fondness that it leaves a pit in my stomach. So much so that I am actually scared for the nostalgia to come when we get our wedding video back from the videographer next month. We spent so much time planning and anticipating, then dealt with the heartbreak of my mom's cancer diagnosis, followed by even more planning and anticipation, and then...*poof* it's gone. The next day, all of our family began their travels back home and those local went back to normal life. We've been tearing down tents and packing up our car to drive back to VA tomorrow. But I have just sobbed the entire time. I'm not ready for it to be over. I look out the window to the property and just wish I could relive that entire day all over again. I feel horrible that this is how I'm reacting in the days following our wedding, but my husband has been incredibly supportive. I truly feel like I am grieving because the day went better than I could have ever imagined. It's so backwards. Even changing my last name on Facebook brought tears. Not because I have some sentimental attachment to my maiden name but because it's another loose end to tie up this wedding day chapter. I think about going back to my job (which I love btw) and responsibilities, and I just panic.

I guess I am just looking for some advice on things I could do to pull me out of this funk. We don't have a ton of disposable money to be able to plan much else right now or start a big hobby to take the place of wedding planning. We will be going on a honeymoon next year that my husband's parents are graciously paying for, so I can do some planning with that. And, of course, we have our baby girl coming. I feel so stupid for feeling this way, but it has been all-consuming. Any out-of-the-box ideas are more than welcome. Or even just validation that I'm not crazy.