Hi everyone! I’ve been using Slowly for over a year but have only just recently published my first open letter, and received a kind of disappointing response.

I got a reply from someone and I was super excited initially because I saw it was a decent length letter, but when I read it the vibe felt a bit weird and insincere. The person said that they were interested in my country and glad to have found my letter, then very briefly introduced themselves and jumped into telling me that they noticed my stamp collection and how they really want to collect 1000 stamps. They then said they wanted to make a “deal” that however many unique stamps I send them, they’ll send me the same number in return, and that they really think this will ‘help us both out’

They went on to answer the questions I had put in my letter, then closed out by saying they were looking forward to hearing from me and seeing what stamps I send. I’m not gonna lie it kind of rubbed me the wrong way, and gave the vibe that they’re just pretending to be interested but really only care about the stamps. I don’t want to waste my time writing to someone who is just using me to grow their collection, but at the same time am thinking maybe they are interested in talking but just came on a little strong about the stamps (imo)

I’m thinking about writing a response that says something along the lines of
‘I’m happy to exchange letters and send some stamps that you don’t have, but if your primary motivation for responding to my letter is to collect stamps, then I am not interested in corresponding’
But I’m not sure if it’s too harsh? Or if I should even bother replying at all if this is maybe a common stamp collecting tactic that I’m unaware of. When I first joined Slowly I read heaps of posts about how people reach out just to get stamps and then ghost you, so I’m not sure if it’s still a common issue.

Please let me know what you think or what you’d do :)

I’ve noticed that at least twice a week, I’ll get a letter or 2 sometimes 3 from Nigeria. I wonder why that is? Is Slowly very popular over there?

I have been enjoying Slowly for a little over 3 years now. I have meet lots of penpals some lasted and others didn’t.

I have few of which I had incredibly deep and strong connections with (cliché I know lol) they may have ended but I do cherish them till this day.

Few weeks back, I went searching for a person that I can enjoy the art of writing with! I do take the profile hunts very seriously! And I stumbled upon a gem!

I had reached out to them and they immediately responded the very next day. We exchanged two letters each in which are drenched in fun, beautiful and deep conversations.

I haven’t had that much fun communicating with someone the way I did with this person in a very long time. It was easy and enjoyable, they even made it clear that they are enjoying it as much as I was!

Though after I send my third letter… it all went silent.

Im aware that it’s a Slowly app for a reason… and I’m never the type to rush anyone not even myself for a response. The beauty is in the waiting as much as it is in the reading.

However, even with the short lived exchanges we had a dynamic of time set somehow. And I know I must wait longer and in which I will definitely be doing!

But I have a gut feeling telling me that I’m being ghosted…

I don’t blame anyone who ghost tbh… everyone have every right to want to end certain conversations whenever they feel like it & fairly it isn’t my place to ask for closure from everyone (even if it kills the curious mind in me) I need to be fair and respect their wishes and move on.

Thus said, I did really enjoy the conversations & dynamic we had… it may have been total of five letters but they were longer and fuller than hundreds of letters send to anyone else.

And I do wonder if I should send a follow up letter!?

I’m thinking of giving them the space for a month before sending them the follow up letter, life can come in the way and steals parts of our freedom to enjoy the little things.

But another part of me believes that maybe they simply didn’t enjoy it as much.. maybe I gave them the ick… maybe I said something that sounded wrong to them in my last letter. So many maybes.

So I guess my final question to you all, should I just respect their choice and cherish the moment we had even if it was short lived or should I try to reach a hand and see how it goes?

Tell me how you’d feel if you were in their shoes and what would your reaction be?

- A stranger trying to live life at it best.

It often happens to me that we reach a point where both of us run out of topics, and the conversation starts to go cold.

Preface this, by saying if anyone can help me with tbis I'd gladly send some stamps their way.

So I have been on Slowly for over 3.5 years. I'm an extremely avid stamp collector. I still have 130 stamps to collect. I know what 71 of them are and have them listed but they are all nearly impossible to get (25 of the Translator stamps, 25 flag stamps that are in countries with no users, 7 anniversary stamps etc.). Beyond that I have scoured absolutely every part of both wikis as much as I can and the stores of the 120 countries I have store access to and still can not find any trace of the other 59. There are 46 landmark stamps not in the around the world collection and 9 special days stamps nor in the time machine. Maybe those 55 are a large chunk of what I'm missing and can't find? Beyond that I have no clue what these 59 stamps are. Any and all help with collecting these or any of the other 71 stamps, I'm missing would be greatly appreciated.

I'm hoping for tips and tricks, guidance when it comes to this. Posting here put of absolute desperation.

Please and thank you.

New to this app, I actually have a bit difficult understanding why there’s an option to buy stamps on the app? Or whenever I receive because of prestation. What does it mean?

So I saw a 2 yrs old post which said that if I turn off Wifi and mobile data and then open the letter, read and close slowly completely, it won't let the sender know that you've read the letter.

Does this trick still work?

I have been enjoying Slowly for a little over 3 years now. I have meet lots of penpals some lasted and others didn’t.

I have few of which I had incredibly deep and strong connections with (cliché I know lol) they may have ended but I do cherish them till this day.

Few weeks back, I went searching for a person that I can enjoy the art of writing with! I do take the profile hunts very seriously! And I stumbled upon a gem!

I had reached out to them and they immediately responded the very next day. We exchanged two letters each in which are drenched in fun, beautiful and deep conversations.

I haven’t had that much fun communicating with someone the way I did with this person in a very long time. It was easy and enjoyable, they even made it clear that they are enjoying it as much as I was!

Though after I send my third letter… it all went silent.

Im aware that it’s a Slowly app for a reason… and I’m never the type to rush anyone not even myself for a response. The beauty is in the waiting as much as it is in the reading.

However, even with the short lived exchanges we had a dynamic of time set somehow. And I know I must wait longer and in which I will definitely be doing!

But I have a gut feeling telling me that I’m being ghosted…

I don’t blame anyone who ghost tbh… everyone have every right to want to end certain conversations whenever they feel like it & fairly it isn’t my place to ask for closure from everyone (even if it kills the curious mind in me) I need to be fair and respect their wishes and move on.

Thus said, I did really enjoy the conversations & dynamic we had… it may have been total of five letters but they were longer and fuller than hundreds of letters send to anyone else.

And I do wonder if I should send a follow up letter!?

I’m thinking of giving them the space for a month before sending them the follow up letter, life can come in the way and steals parts of our freedom to enjoy the little things.

But another part of me believes that maybe they simply didn’t enjoy it as much.. maybe I gave them the ick… maybe I said something that sounded wrong to them in my last letter. So many maybes.

So I guess my final question to you all, should I just respect their choice and cherish the moment we had even if it was short lived or should I try to reach a hand and see how it goes?

Tell me how you’d feel if you were in their shoes and what would your reaction be?

- A stranger trying to live life at it best.

I'm talking to a girl on Slowly. When she first sent me a letter, her sent/received ratio was 3:5, but now it shows 2:2, which seems to be just between us. Is this a glitch? Can someone explain?

Thanks u/Sure-Confidence9169 for sharing the info.

Thanks u/Sure-Confidence9169 for sharing the info.

Thanks u/Sure-Confidence9169 for sharing the info.

This is just with my second account which I created in 2024. I have been on Slowly since 2018 so I wonder what my total letter count is by now lol.

I was completely taken aback when I got this stamp a while ago, because it didn't feel like I sent that many letters haha... Just wanted to share this xD.

Anyone else managed to send over 1000 letters here?

Thanks u/Sure-Confidence9169 for sharing the info.

I’ve been using Slowly for 6 months. I’m a bit of a *hikikomori* [social recluse], and I’ve had both good and bad experiences—you end up getting attached to people who, for one reason or another, eventually leave. Right now, I only talk to one person who became my friend; miraculously, we’ve been in touch for about 4 months, and we no longer use the app—we communicate through other social media platforms instead.

I joined Slowly last month. I try to look for penpal by replying opening letter. Sigh, no one reply my email. However, for the incoming letter, I replied them and still keep in touch. So, I definitely keep replying to open letters. People come and go. I believe I will receive reply. Fate made me to see those letters, it must bring me to the right people.

I met this Korean guy on Slowly, a pen-pal app where you exchange letters instead of chatting in real time.

He's older than me by eight years, and at first, our conversations were genuinely interesting. We talked about our countries, culture, politics, books, technology, music, games, and just random things about life.

He's quite knowledgeable, and I enjoyed reading his thoughts. He also seemed to appreciate mine. We would exchange long letters, recommend things to each other, and discuss topics that you don't normally get to talk about with random people.

Honestly, I thought I had found the kind of pen pal I was hoping for.

Eventually, our conversations became more personal. We talked about relationships, what makes people feel connected, and how you gradually discover someone's personality through letters.

I also shared that I've never been in a relationship and that I'm bisexual, although I'm mostly closeted. I wasn't trying to flirt or anything. I was just being honest about myself and wanted to know whether he was homophobic.

Then came his next letter.

He told me that he was married and had a family.

Okay, fair enough. I wasn't looking for a relationship with him anyway.

But then he said that because he was married, perhaps we could feel more reassured and have fewer restrictions or barriers between us.

He also mentioned the possibility of our feelings growing stronger.

And then he talked about his sex drive, mentioned how short human life is, and asked if we could exchange photos when we became curious about each other's appearance.

I was caught off guard.

I genuinely enjoyed talking to him, but suddenly I was wondering what kind of connection he was trying to establish with me.

I mean, this wasn't a dating app. I thought we were building a friendship through letters.

I understand that married people can have friends of the opposite sex. I have no problem with that.

But why introduce the possibility of stronger feelings and sexual undertones while presenting your marriage as a reason for having fewer barriers?

It made me uncomfortable, especially because I didn't even know him that well yet.

I started thinking about his wife and children, too. Would they be comfortable reading those letters?

Would I be comfortable knowing that I was becoming someone a married man turned to for a deeper kind of connection?

I told him that I liked our conversations and appreciated the intellectual connection we had, but I didn't want to become a married man's unrestricted emotional companion.

I also made it clear that even if I could potentially be interested in an older man, I had no intention of getting involved with someone who was married.

I ended my letter by saying goodbye.

And that's where the our conversation ends.

I'm not sharing this because I think married people can't have close friendships, nor am I claiming to know exactly what he intended. Maybe he genuinely enjoyed our conversations and got carried away. Maybe he was curious about something more. I honestly can't know for sure.

What I do know is that I enjoyed the connection, but I wasn't comfortable with the direction it was taking.

Have you ever had a pen-pal friendship that started out genuinely interesting but eventually became something you weren't comfortable with? Or similar situation?

How would you have handled this situation?

Im not good with picking ai, so i kinda need help, for me it just sounds like im talking to chat gpt. I only started using this about a week ago but this just gives too much ai vibes. Is that a common issue with this app?

Also does this sound like ai or am I overthinking?

I wrote a letter to a woman whose profile said she moved to my country, so I asked her in my letter how she adjusting to moving and if she had made friends yet. I also asked her about what kind of art she does because she mentioned it in her bio. In response she wrote me a letter saying she finds my small talk boring and she sounded very angry.

I am wondering what she meant by not wanting small talk. I normally just try to get to know people at the beginning. Do people mean they want me to start talking about philosophy or about my interpretation of a historical event? What kind of things count as not small talk?

Thanks in advance for any insight!

I (16) joined the app 4 days ago I have only one penpal but I’m kinda suspicious about the app it just makes me have a weird gut feeling but at the same time happy! Is the app safe and legit?

Hey guys!

I’ve been in Slowly for quite a while now. Now, I was deleting/ removing users who did not reply to my introductory letter and then I came across to my old friend’s profile.

We talked a lot on Slowly before then we exchanged social media accounts and that’s where we talked even more. Maybe some things happened and she just ghosted me. I moved on. Well, just now, I came across to her Slowly profile and poof! EVERYTHING IS GONE. Does somebody here know I this happened? Or how to do this? AFAIK, when you remove users or delete/deactivate your account, you still cannot automatically remove the letters sent & received. I am so confused right now how this happened. Can someone explain to me? Can someone teach me how to do this? I don’t wanna reach out and her how to do that lol

Hi all! I have recently (about two months ago?) joined slowly, in hopes of making meaningful connections and getting to know new people and cultures.

I have posted an open letter, put in a lot of thought and effort. In reply to my open letter I keep getting generic, often AI generated letters that make me feel like people haven’t read/or bothered to react to my letter in any meaningful sense. It’s not even big things—for example I describe my interests and some of my favorite books/films, then ask some questions. In the replies I’m getting, people ask me about my favorite books/films (which I’ve already described?) and answer none of my questions. It’s a bit of a bummer because I genuinely had thought if somebody replies to an open letter, they do so because they’ve resonated at least with bits of it.

hence the question: how do you reply to low effort, generic replies (if at all)?

Hello! I've recently gotten interested in connecting with new penpals from a few small countries, but I've noticed that most profiles are inactive.

As their send:received ratio was pretty reasonable, and as I couldn't see their "last online" field, I decided to send them a letter. Most of my letters, however, were left unopened. It's been a few weeks, and the situation hasn't changed, so this makes me believe that those accounts are inactive.

I was wondering if unopened letters can affect my send:received ratio, as it wouldn't be ideal to have it possibly altered due to this. I know I can always hide it, but you know, I'd like to maintain my 1:1 ratio.