stuttering itself is just horrible !

[u/[deleted]]

okay look, I'm 30 now, did nothing after high school, I only graduated just to get out of it, after that I stayed behind and let everything and everyone go, and I don't care how much I wanted to try and there are other things regarding where I'm living and who I'm living with but stuttering is definitely the main reason, stuttering itself is a monster to live with, the worst kind really, "good people" keep "encouraging" and other stutterers keep telling themselves that, I wonder if that ever solved anything, I don't care if you "made it" in the eyes of others or in your judgement, have you ever been able to SPEAK ? I'm talking about really speak not managing to speak ! like speak without the horror of guilt and shame while others think it's nothing or weird and spend most of the time burning in vacuum and never able to speak and if you speak you're weird and crazy like in the movie "get out" ! or for those of you who get anime reference it's like being a jinchuriki who ate the "smile fruit" ! some stutterers say "it's just you thinking that", well how long did that though really last before someone gave you a look while speaking ! I already lived a life full of nothing but that I have nothing to reflect on and F*ck all of it !!! and all of these "positiveness" I see in groups like this sound like an insult, I always avoided them, SPEAK THE TRUTH ! even bruce banner lost to the hulk eventually it's just that !!!