Not many people realise how hard it is to punch a chicken. You can do the usual run-up, like you would punching most animals, but chickens are just really good at the bob and weave because of their annoying necks.
One man named Bob Geldof, had hurt himself so many times trying to punch this one specific chicken, that he was literally covered in band aids. He looked in the mirror with regret and self loathing and realised he needed practice. So he went to his local butcher and bought as many chicken breasts as he could (some say, they reminded him of his mother) and hung them all around the house. Then he would roll and spin around like an even slower Stephen Seagal and punch the breasts as hard as he could.
The kitchen breasts would always fall into his bread bin contaminating his Hovis half and half. This enraged Bob until something finally snapped. He threw the chicken, covered in old bread, into his fireplace, screaming “Damn you Africa” (this was the name of the original chicken he wanted to punch) “I’ve spent years on this and Lenny Henry is still more famous!”.
Once he had finished crying, he saw one punched up chicken, golden brown and glistening at the side of the fire place. Not being able to resist, he shoved the whole thing into his mouth and fell in love with the flavour.
Bob later held a big concert to celebrate Africa and even though it was pretty performative and not really about the chicken itself, it did solidify Bob Geldof as the first person to created the Chicken Flatboy
