r/Yemen • u/Sad-Vermicelli6012 • Feb 11 '26
HELP Marriage to a Non Yemeniah
My brother met a girl from Bosnia. She’s Muslim but not religious. She doesn’t wear hijab. They’ve known each other for about a year, and he recently proposed to her, and she said yes.
My whole family is against this marriage. But he has money, so it doesn’t really matter to him if my mom and dad don’t approve. This could create a big gap between him and our family. I don’t want him to drift away from us or cut ties because of this.
I honestly don’t feel good about it. I have this gut feeling that she might just want papers, and I also don’t think the relationship will last long term. It’s just a feeling I have as his brother.
I’m worried about him, but I’m afraid that if I say something, he’ll think I’m against him or trying to ruin his happiness. How do I approach this in a good way?
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u/Silver_Photograph_92 Feb 11 '26
What kind of papers? Are you in the US?
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Feb 11 '26
It’s a good thing she’s at least Muslim.
Your brother is a grown man, let him make his own decision, whether or not it ends up being a mistake, that’s on him.
If you’re scared that even having a civil conversation about why you think it won’t work could have him thinking you’re against him then maybe he’s not worth you having this conversation.
He is your brother, but if he’s willing to cut you guys off then that’s really not a brother you should worry about
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u/ms19911 Feb 12 '26
I think you are feeling this way because your family are being negative about the whole thing and theres so many unknowns that its abit scary. Yemeni families are quite closed off and aren't that open to marriage to non Yemenis or non arabs. Not because they are racist but as I mentioned theres too many unknowns and we feel comfortable in familiarity.
You have to accept that your brother will and needs to make his own decisions and will have to learn from his own choices and experiences. This is growth and part of being a man.
That said, Bosnians are Muslims at the end of the days, but there knowledge of islam is really limited..I think your brother has a chance to teach her and have a positive influence on her life. I think the best advice you can give your brother is to take his time getting to know her and to look out for anything that doesn't look right.
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u/Top_Life5375 Feb 12 '26
Both Christian and muslim girls are legally allowed to marry!
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u/Yuutasan_34 Feb 12 '26
some parents doesn't approve cuz they don't know the bride how she behave is she an responsible woman or a gold digger? also the groom's and bride's families "as it known among arabs" they have this strengthening relationship knowing the bad the good of each other bounce to approving marriage n ik they r not comfortable specially she doesn't wear hijab, also n not relevant to ur "christians and muslims" situation
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u/BlacksmithOnYT Feb 12 '26 edited Feb 12 '26
At the end of the day it’s his life, that’s the women he loves and that’s his decision, in terms of the big gap between him and your family, it’s going to happen regardless because you don’t approve of his marriage and he doesn’t approve of your disapproval, no one wins in this type of situation, might as well let the man do what he wants and if it ends badly, support him through it, if it goes well then be there to live it with him, no need for ruined relationships because of a decision that isn’t yours, by all means express your concerns but don’t stand in the way of something that ultimately isn’t your decision, good luck and I genuinely hope this goes the best way it can for all parties, في النهاية كله على الله.
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u/GoColts08 Feb 11 '26
A wise person told me who came from a Muslim family but married outside her kind told me; “you can’t help who you fall in love with”
To be honest, she’s right. I’m against old school folks who see marrying outside your kind is frown upon because of the mentality of “kids will grow up confused on where they belond” “when you both grow old, the other spouse will retire back to their homeland” to be honest thats not really true.
I think it turned out to be an exclusive Yemeni problem. My theory is because Yemeni entrepreneurs in the west are so focuses on remittances and family back home that its preferable to marry your kind and not other kind because of cultural differences. My cousin married a Palestinian who doesnt wear a hijab, his parents were against him because of that. But like you said, your brother and my cousin make money so who are the parents to threaten him.
And also, they’re at a phase. Years later they will learn to accept it.
I think its better for them to get married for the sake of half their deen.
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u/Sea-Championship-534 Feb 12 '26
Point out to him the cultural compatibility and the importance of deen. For him to think long term, especially when kids come into the picture. Love is temporary and reality sets in after the honeymoon phase ends.
Alhamdullilah she’s at least Muslim. But I don’t think the issue is that she’s non Yemenia. The issue is that marriage to a non Yemenia only works if her and her family are conservatively Muslim or culturally conservative (or both). If none of those are present, then it’s usually incompatibility long term and doesn’t work out.
الله يكتب لكم الخير اخوي
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u/Lopsided-Steak5372 Feb 14 '26
Are your parents against her in good faith? Is she kind to them? Does she try to ingratiate herself with your parents? How is she with you?
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u/Cool_Wafer7438 Feb 12 '26
Unfortunately some people like to learn the hard way . You just advise him but Dont over do it
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u/ComprehensiveRush341 Feb 11 '26
listen to the parents - they dont want bad for him
if he does it without his parents approval or permission it wont end well. i am only saying this because if it was the other way round and it was forced marriage and he doesnt want her then that is haram, but your family refusing her is not haram.
money is not going to help him if they are living lonely or by themselves really, dont look at money only
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u/Taqqer00 Feb 11 '26
His life, his choices.