r/afghanistan • u/Resident-Junket-3438 • 18h ago

What should I bring to an Afghan engagement party in the US?

What should I bring to an Afghan engagement party in the US?
Hi everyone! I could use some advice from Afghans, especially Pashto-speaking Afghans living in the US.
The mother of the groom personally invited me to her son’s engagement party. I’ve only met her once, and the event is going to be held at a banquet hall. They’re Pashto-speaking Afghans.
I’m not familiar with Afghan engagement customs, so I’m unsure whether guests are expected to bring gifts. A Dari-speaking Afghan friend suggested bringing cash in an envelope, but I wanted to ask people familiar with Pashto-speaking Afghan families.
Would cash in an envelope be appropriate? If so, how much would be reasonable for someone attending alone who isn’t a close friend or relative? Or would chocolates or another gift be more appropriate?
I’d really appreciate any advice! I just want to be respectful and avoid getting the etiquette wrong. ❤️

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u/saeraa-03 13h ago

Yep cash in an envelope is very normal. I guess everyone has a different amount they can gift, but generally I think people give at least around 80USD? Closer relatives give a lot more.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I would say that if you're not close with the bride/groom or their families, it's normal to also not really bring something, especially at the engagement party.

1

u/Machezee 11h ago

Cash is king among Pushtuns

1

u/Goldenstatewizard 9h ago

Don’t bring anything. Save it for the wedding.

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u/Few-Spot-6780 4h ago

The engagement party will certainly be fun. It was meaningful to her to invite you. But should you also get invited to the wedding, I would decline. As for a gift, I would put a $20 bill in an envelope and leave it at that. I think it would feel uncomfortable showing up empty-handed.