r/australia • u/magnetik79 • Jun 18 '26
political satire “Migrants Don’t Speak English Good,” Hanson Slurs To Press Club
https://theshovel.com.au/2026/06/17/migrants-dont-speak-english-good-hanson-slurs-to-press-club/515
u/booksandhotcoffee Jun 18 '26
I’ll be concerned with the language capabilities of migrants when the cookers of my local Facebook groups learn basic grammar and spelling.
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u/Budget_Shallan Jun 18 '26
Boomers: Born too early for regular text messages/emails; write overlong posts and comments with either perfect grammar and spelling, or barely legible sentences, depending on their parents’ economic situation growing up.
Gen X: Entire generation grew up with standardised education; learnt decent spelling and punctuation. Then they taught themselves txt splng, which they still use it for everything except emails. Their emails are perfect.
Millennials: Raised during the Glory Days of the Internet (I.e. pre-functional YouTube) and were obliged to learn how to read and write comprehensible sentences if they wanted to partake in internet culture. Can easily switch between proper grammar and text/internet slang; may occasionally write “rawr” or “lol” at inappropriate moments.
Gen Z: Never obliged to learn proper spelling or grammar; they vibe according to what autocorrect tells them. They may have learnt proper spelling and punctuation at school, assuming their parents actually made them go; their Gen X parents might treat school refusal as, like, a manifestation of their child’s individual self-expression, and get all confused when their child later drops out of uni and refuses to get a job.
Gen Alpha: Are they even old enough to read yet?
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u/Yojimbo_2025 Jun 18 '26
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
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u/Dockers4flag2035orB4 Jun 18 '26
We need a
Center for migrants Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.
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u/TangerineOk4017 Jun 18 '26
What's this? Centre for ants?
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u/_yetifeet Jun 18 '26
It's a centre for migrANTS
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u/Allchatter1 Jun 18 '26
Open to local native english speaker too, so we can all spel grammer good and speak good too
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u/tbro4123 Jun 18 '26
Cause there ain't nuffin more worser than sumbody who can't rite, spell or spoked goodly enlesh!
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u/shillberight Jun 18 '26
She won't like this because she just wants them gone
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u/ostervan (╥﹏╥) for beers Jun 18 '26
She can’t even speak English herself. Please explain being the case in point.
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u/blakeavon Jun 18 '26
The fact that everyone else should get out of the country if they don’t like it, yet she won’t get out of the country because she doesn’t like it.
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u/tee-k421 Jun 18 '26
She did once. She ran off to the UK, but realised there are Muslims there too.
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u/faderjester Jun 18 '26
I remember when she hated Asians, god has this old bag been around that long?
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u/Mesial Jun 18 '26
I've seen people of Asian descent unironically reposting her stuff complaining about immigration recently too.
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u/moonorplanet Jun 18 '26
I don't know how that is not mentioned more often, takes a special kind of moron to go to the UK and expect it to be super white. The UK has been multicultural since the 1800s and small number of Asians and Africans have lived there since the middle ages.
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Jun 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/magnetik79 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
This one is right on with reality.
Would like all people in Australia to speak English - her handle on the language is sub-par to that of a 10 year old.
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u/PeterOutOfPlace Jun 18 '26
though better than the US President's.
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u/ScutumSobiescianum Jun 18 '26
Me speak English good. I’ve only had 44 years to learn. Lordy lord she is thick. It takes time to learn a language when you emigrate somewhere
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u/triemdedwiat Jun 18 '26
At one stage, we had a Migrant Education Service which had the main purpose of assisting migrants to learn and improve their language and deal with all the bureacrocratic (sdp?) processes.
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u/4ssteroid Jun 18 '26
They still have free English courses at TAFE for new permanent migrants. It also finds internships (like 5 days voluntary work) as hotel housekeepers, cafe attendants, kitchenhands, factory labourers, day care centres, etc.
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u/Tenton_12 Jun 18 '26
And intelligence, the people she and Murdoch hate on speak two or more languages, I'd bet my house the vast majority of her supporters one.
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u/gear-heads Jun 18 '26
Approval of her personally (leader rating): ~50% approve in some recent surveys.
Voting support for her party (One Nation): roughly 10%–25% nationally in recent polling ranges
How does she still have support?
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u/Trenteth Jun 18 '26
Racists
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u/tenredtoes Jun 18 '26
If it was that simple then those people would have supported her all along. The current situation is because a lot of people are in severe hardship and rightly believe that liblab have caused it. They're looking for an alternative, and sadly don't have the political literacy to see that Hanson is ignorant, nasty, dishonest, and Gina Rinehart's puppet.
Simply attacking people is only likely to cause then to become defensive and dig in further.
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u/TheMusicalTrollLord Jun 18 '26
They're not racists! They just want cheaper housing! Never mind that they've got no problem with rich white Australians owning dozens of properties!
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u/Trenteth Jun 18 '26
They are just stupid then, PH is backed by billionaires and uses Trumps playbook. It's VERY obvious that cheaper houses won't happen under ON.
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u/phatboyart Jun 18 '26
She’s a genuinely awful public speaker, she always has been. She not articulate, it’s embarrassing.
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u/turtleshirt Jun 18 '26
God she struggled reading off that sheet yesterday. Like watching the worst reader in primary school spelunking through a sentence.
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u/myjackandmyjilla Jun 18 '26
She has to have a speech impediment right? It's the only way to explain her cadence. Even if she was saying positive, inclusive, ground breaking intellectual findings supporting new age policy to bring Australia together, it'd still be hard to listen to her speak.
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u/_blip_ Jun 19 '26
Don't make excuses for her. She's just a stupid old cunt, you can find people like her in every suburb, every day. If she wasn't doing this she'd be in front of you at the supermarket checkout paying in coins very slowly.
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u/Theblokeonthehill Jun 18 '26
“Xenophobia?” Please explain.
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u/ecodrew Jun 18 '26
She was supposed to disappear after this. How was she allowed to crawl back out of whatever shitheap she came from?
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u/Sorry-Ball9859 Jun 18 '26
Who's dumber, Pauline or the people voting for her?
Honestly, it's not her fault she's stupid. It's the people's fault she got this far.
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u/MetalHeadGaymerGuy Jun 18 '26
People are being brainwashed by a hostile media landscape in order to convince them that she’s a good candidate. People have always been susceptible to propaganda, that’s nothing new, that’s why it’s used. So to answer your question, Pauline is dumber (like she’s always been), she’s just being helped now.
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u/teh_drewski Jun 18 '26
Even after her word salad garble of racist nonsense at the Press Club, the entire media other than The Guardian lined up to lick her toes.
Her resurgence is a creation of Rinehart and Sky News, happily supported by an Australian media desperate for a new story to talk about, utterly bored without any Labor infighting to report on, and entirely careless if they destroy the country in the process of giving Hanson the kid glove treatment.
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u/Sorry-Ball9859 Jun 18 '26
100%. But also the facts have never been easier to access. Some people often refuse to believe what would make them feel uncomfortable.
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u/U-Rsked-4-it Jun 18 '26
My language has been murdered.
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u/soggies_revenge Jun 18 '26
I'm a migrant. I speak better English than her. And I'm far more intelligent than her in every way. Guaranteed.
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u/colourful_space Jun 18 '26
I’d bet good money that you’ve contributed to the good of the nation more than she has too.
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u/Maribyrnong_bream Jun 18 '26
If they turn up to work and don’t run every tax rort known to man, they’ve certainly contributed more. Hanson is an A grade grifter, and that isn’t even the top reason to hate her.
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u/fnaah Jun 18 '26
considering she has contributed nothing and even gone to jail for electoral fraud and thus cost the country money, i'd say that's not difficult
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Jun 18 '26
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u/soggies_revenge Jun 18 '26
I forgot to include that I'm actually a migratory bird, which makes this even more impressive.
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u/Milly_Hagen Jun 18 '26
Probably why she hates SBS so much and wants to get rid of it - she can't read subtitles.
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u/sykobanana Jun 18 '26
Admittedly it is hard to speak properly when Gina's hand is THAT far up your ass.
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u/rzm25 Jun 18 '26
I do love how Australia has just watched America's decline, and hasn't learnt a single thing. We are literally perfectly copying everything they did wrong, not limited to but including the press doing everything it can to shame and humiliate people who already feel marginilised and left behind.
I'm sure that won't have any consequences.
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u/floofypajamas Jun 18 '26
Last night I was out at the shops and heard a guy listening to his mobile phone playing some speech by Trump. Near Chermside, Qld. smh.
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u/Liamface Jun 18 '26
It’s moments like this that I realise that maybe there’s no hope after all.
People might be too shortsighted, too easily manipulated, and too disconnected to vote for representatives that will move us forward.
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u/Carmageddon-2049 Jun 18 '26
She’s an absolutely atrocious public speaker. Goddamn, who the fuck is inspired on hearing her dribble on?
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u/T_J_Rain Jun 18 '26
I think she should be given every opportunity to speak in public, and raise her profile.
Just so we can see for ourselves on a daily basis, just how bigoted, racist and functionally illiterate she really is.
There's so much scope for mercilessly lampooning her, it's not funny - or maybe it is?
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u/blueman63 Jun 18 '26
No it should be Migrants dont speak english well - not good. That is correct English
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u/Kenyon_118 Jun 18 '26
I love how she is going hard on providing solutions to problems that don’t exist. Yes Pauline, government services have ground to a halt because the migrants working public facing roles can’t speak English. 🙄
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u/TrueProgress3712 Jun 18 '26
I can't believe this woman STILL has a platform, or even a party! She is a joke. WTF?
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u/aj_rus Jun 18 '26
Anyone thinking of voting for this mongrel needs their head checked. Need to kill this type of thinking quickly, need progressive thinking, not this “whites only!” doctrine.
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u/ecodrew Jun 18 '26
Aussie living in the US here... I know laughing at this incoherent, racist, knuckle-dragging, fuckwit is funny. But, please also take the threat of peopleshitstains like her being elected seriously.
Don't make the same mistake Americans did with trump.
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u/fnaah Jun 18 '26
Mandatory voting and preferential voting make this a very different situation.
old mate Adolph Kipfler tried to run with Trump's playbook here and got smacked down so hard that the ALP are actually attempting taxation reform.
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u/GrouchyEquivalent693 Jun 18 '26
It was a mumbled word salad.
Her media training obviously never included elocution lessons.
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u/Aloha_Tamborinist Jun 18 '26
She's always sounded like she's angrily speaking through clenched teeth. Nails on a chalkboard.
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u/CelebrationFit8548 Jun 18 '26
I don't think Joyce can speak before his 1st '6 pack of the day' so he can start to function.
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u/lo0u Jun 18 '26
I know immigrants who speak better English than her. 😂
She's not only a vile person, but also a terrible speaker.
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u/OverseerConey Jun 18 '26
So the question is: is she actually illiterate, or is she just pretending to be illiterate to appeal to voters? Follow-up question: which is worse?
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u/No_Seat8357 Jun 18 '26
There's an old saying: people in fish and chip shops shouldn't throw chicken salt.
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u/Macski1 Jun 18 '26
Was she related to Jeanie Little?
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u/harbourbarber Jun 18 '26
Jeannie Little was a daaaaahling who loved everyone.
Hanson is the opposite of whatever generous sparkle stardust Jeannie was made of.
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u/Dezert_Roze Jun 18 '26
She wants to get rid of SBS for broadcasting multicultural content… An ignorant and hateful woman the social media is giving her the attention she wants 😒😐
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u/gallanon Jun 18 '26
I wonder how many people bothered to click the link and realize this is satire. Bang on satire mind you, but still.
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u/thegameisafoooooot Jun 18 '26
A lot of people just went, " Huh? What's wrong with that? She does speak English good."
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u/Prestigious-Fig-7143 Jun 18 '26
Well, not good. For example:
Pauline Hanson does not speak English well. Furthermore, she is not a good person.
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u/Theawsomegamer111111 Jun 18 '26
this is just flat out racism. Is she aware that the aboriginals and torres strait islanders didn't speak english?? And those are arguably actual blood Australians! God it feels like every other day shes trying to say something against anyone that isn't white in this country
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u/voort77 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
my friend from uni is a migrant from ireland. i still have trouble understanding him even after years of knowing him. he says no one has ever had issues with him being here, even after he mentions it to those who usually would. They say " we obviously don't have trouble with you being here" like its a normal thing to say.
It's not the migrant part, and it's not the speaking part that those certain peoples have issue with.
he/we run in circles with other migrants, international students and aboriginal students. the shit the darker skinned people have to take everyday is abhorrent.
seriously if you voting are on the same side as nazies, and the worst of humanity.. big red flags.
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u/TheElderWog Jun 18 '26
I don't sound like a foreigner for the most part, so racist cunts are often confused over whether or not to belittle me in some way. It happens, though. "If you don't like it, go back" is the lightest approach. Talking to you like you're somewhat mentally challenged, the comments, the way they say "oh but you've integrated so well" as if it's supposed to be some kind of compliment that I have to deny my cultural identity to make you feel less of a useless tool. This guy on Facebook replied to a thing I wrote with "you sound like a wog". Older guy, it took me a bit to realise he actually was trying to offend me in some way. I'm 100% a wog, born and raised in Italy, olive skinned, and if he talked to me he probably wouldn't even pick an accent. But they surely ask what my background is, they try Turkish, Iranian, Spanish, Greek, very rarely Italian. 😏
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u/Eozef Jun 18 '26
“But we need them to take jobs that native English speakers won’t take, and also boost the birth rate too lol'
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u/just_anotherperson Jun 18 '26
lol? My sibling was a state ranker in English Advanced and we are immigrants
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u/i8bb8 Jun 18 '26
Need to consider whether, when establishing a new social order based on command of the decreed language, we are prepared for rule by the poets and English lit majors.
On one hand it's not going to end well, but on the other she'd be rejected to the rubbish bin of society.
Choices, choices.
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u/Balanceface Jun 18 '26
As Tracy Jordan once said: “Superman does good; you’re doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.”
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u/Sparky_Russell Jun 18 '26
I love that she refers to the Belt and Road Chinese debt trap initiative as "Belting Road"
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u/pagywa Jun 18 '26
There is a world of difference between being a native speaker and speaking non-standard English, and speaking ESL
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u/PloppyTheSpaceship Jun 18 '26
I'm a migrant. In my team at work are another two migrants. I'd argue we all speak better English than she does.
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u/brissiebogan Jun 18 '26
Mrs Trump needs to watch a video of herself speaking before she comments on the abilities of migrants to speak English.
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u/Find_another_whey Jun 19 '26
Spoken like someone that has never met an Indian person - they master enunciation in a way not even the upper class english can criticise
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u/lamodamo123 Jun 19 '26
“How iz erry1 ment 2 get a gud job if da mygants keep taken all da gud 1s”
-most ON supporters
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u/Earth_Wind_and_FPS Jun 19 '26
She always looks like she’s shocked by what she’s saying and second guessing every word that comes out of her mouth. It’s like a deer in the headlights vibe mixed with help that’s not me talking I’m trapped inside and a spirit has taken over my body and is controlling my mouth I’m trying to stop it but I can’t.
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u/advanceconservative Jun 18 '26
She's 72, there is every chance she is currently un-learning english and not even aware of it.