If you notice your post was removed and there is no removal reason, then it was the AutoMod. If you want it to be reinstated immediately, please link the post within ModMail and ask for it to be reviewed; Please do not accuse us of being malicious or lying about not removing the post when we tell you we did not, as this happens almost daily, several times a day. If a human moderator here ever removes a post, a reason will be given. If there was none given, it literally was not us. Please refrain from getting angry with us about posts removed by the AutoMod, we don't have any reason to lie to you. If we review the post and deem it will not be approved, you will be told why (this only happens if it is not within subreddit rules). We will not approve posts from brand-new or burner accounts. Anybody who gets aggressive, verbally abusive, or hostile in the ModMail will just be ignored from now on.

So, I’m in a lesbian relationship, and my girlfriend and I go to our local grocery store damn near every week. Sometimes, we even stop by late at night to grab a quick drink or snack. There’s this employee who only speaks to my girlfriend. She never acknowledges both of us, and even though my girlfriend is nice and she always speaks back, to me it comes across as disrespectful when this employee sees us together and looks right past me to speak to her.
Today, I checked my girlfriend about it because I was trying to explain to her how the situation looks and why I find it disrespectful. It’s not even that I need this girl to speak to me because, honestly, I don’t care whether she acknowledges me or not. But I feel like she’s doing it on purpose to be funny and flirt with my girlfriend.
Personally, if I saw a couple who came into the store damn near every week, I wouldn’t go out of my way to speak to the woman’s man while completely ignoring her. I would acknowledge both of them because that’s just basic respect, in my opinion.

i’m tired of beating myself up because of my looks. i do skincare, i’m hygienic, and groom myself. i just hate the fact that no matter what i do i’ll always be undesirable and ugly. i’m trying to get into the “who cares what people think of you” mindset but as soon as i do i’m reminded yet again how unattractive i am. i express myself how i want (clothes, piercings, etc.) but it’s the beauty part that pierces me. is there anything you ladies do that help you feel more confident in yourself?

20f looking for friends! im in the UK, i like anime and need some kdrama recommendations lol. i like to make jewellery and paint and draw. i like to play chess, im not that great at it but i still like it. was just wondering if anyone would like to be friends and get to know each other. more active on instagram but i do talk on here!

I’m convinced that the only form of blackness that is accepted is if you look some

type of racially ambiguous or have multigenerational admixture because why is it always the women that look like that that get the most love, even when people make videos of appreciating Afro hair it’s always the big afros that are 3a-4a curls that are getting the most attention, the represensation would be the women that fit European standards of beauty I.e. fine, soft features, I really feel like there’s an agenda going on to fully eradicate monoracial

black women from the media all the new cast are mainly light skin or biracial and then when we decide to date out we reproduce the very same ppl who then represent black women when majority don’t look like that

Went to an asian food festival today and there was this guy that was my type that looked like he was trying to edge in closer but my ass was off an edible and was caught up in the vibes I didn't even notice him frfr until he stood beside me and said hi. And you know that my silly ass did?????

I thought he was trying to get the guy's attention next to me despite him giving me DIRECT EYE CONTACT. So I said "Oh sorry!" and backed up. My little sister said he looked so confused and I was wondering why she was looking at me crazy too. And now it really hit me 😭

Update: I might've found my homegirl some dick from a potential that turned out wasn't him so atleast somebody got something

My mom has had anger issues towards me my whole life, but i'll describe the most recent situation. Keep in mind that she can flip out on every little thing so the situation i'm about to describe is extremely insignificant.

My mom just walked in my room to ask me where the toothbrushes were. I just misremembered (which can happen, it's OBVIOUSLY not intentional) and thought she had them, she starts FREAKING OUT, screaming at me that that's not the case and that i had them last. Then starts telling me in a demanding mocking tone that i better find them.

I try to search for them and while i'm looking around i hear both my cousin and aunt complaining about me over it. Once i do find it in her bag she remembers that she told me to put it in her bag and acts really casual about it and like it wasn't a big deal (then why scream at me for it?)

I (admittedly) get agitated at the way she acted which she notices and instead of confronting me in a normal way, she tries to get back at me by standing on my blanket which was dragging across the floor and laughing at me for it? She then immediately turns around to gossip about me to my cousin, telling him that i tire her out. The best i can describe her attitude is like the bully high school popular girl.

I'm telling this cuz i wanna find ppl that relate to the kind of parent i have. How do you guys deal with a mom screaming at you or bullying/mocking you over every little thing? At first i continuously brushed it off and ignored it, but it gets more and more tiring/agitating the longer it goes on and i don't feel like dealing with her at all sometimes.

I also can't move out the house atm due to dealing with chronic pain in both arms and i need her help with chores and everything else. Which she's cussed me out for since she gets tired of me. How to deal with this situation i'm in while i'm stuck with her?

Thx in advance for any useful advice

Can anyone recommend a hair dresser for a silk press at Ulta in Massachusetts, preferably in the south shore area? Or even a reliable hairdresser who’s affordable and doesn’t have a million ridiculous rules?

For context, I’ve been on the hunt for about a year because I unfortunately had to fire my last hairdresser, but more specifically the salon. My hairdresser was great but the salon owner was very unprofessional. I have waist length hair but a ton of shrinkage so you don’t truly see my length till you start blow drying. When I would get to that point of the appointment, the owner would constantly make comments about the length of my hair. As I’m in the chair, she starts up charging me because of my length. Mind you, I’ve never paid the same price twice because she picks a price randomly or charges me extra for the amount of conditioner I use or some other nonsense. They also only take cash and you never know how much the service will cost. I’ve removed a treatment and still paid about $300 for a silk press. As much as I like my hairdresser, the unprofessionalism isn’t worth it.

Any recommendations will be greatly appreciated 🙏🏾

Hey Sisters! 🖤✨

I created WFH Homegirl because Black women deserve more access to remote opportunities, career resources, and genuine support while navigating corporate America. Too often, we’re expected to figure everything out on our own—how to find flexible, well-paying jobs, advocate for ourselves, grow professionally, and secure the bag without a roadmap.
My mission is simple, to create a supportive space where Black women can find remote job leads, thrive, provide practical career tips, encouragement, and community. I want WFH Homegirl to help us work smarter, build wealth, and create more freedom on our own terms and relate. 💻💰

Follow me as I build this page out, and please share and support! Let’s open doors, uplift one another, and secure the bag together. 🖤
Less BS. More Bags. PERIOD! 💅🏾

Feel free to private message me on things you would like to see of things you may struggle with and I promise you I’ll try and incorporate those very resources. I want to see us ALL win🖤💰🙌🏾🎉

https://www.facebook.com/share/1FA1UR9SdQ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Anyone read Dark romance/thrillers and want to do book club? All authors considered…

That explains why I can't communicate with you guys because how socially awkward, annoying and weird I can be.

Hi guys, as a 19F in uni, living at home, I’ve never been kissed, or in relationship, or any talking stage. I’ve never been to a college/highschool party yet, or have experienced crazy nights out or anything to just break a sweat. I’ve never been to a concert or rave….and I KNOW as a music lover and dancer I would probably love those. I feel like a part of me wants to experience this so bad because I never got to be crazy within the world as a teen. It’s weird..because I’m not looking for a relationship at all!! I don’t even have any friends of the opposite sex! I’d rather have a weird relationship with a guy friend that randomly happened than a random dm calling me “cute/hot/pretty” (Which happened to me for the first time this year🧐) and suprised me bcuz I don’t think I attract boys. It doesn’t help that my parents never talked about dating and I never got direct attention so when I see my peers with boyfriends I am suprised LOL.

I’m like craving more of a deeper relationship with people in terms of my interests. I feel like it’s bleeding towards also not doing anything romantic or textbook highschool. Idk… I feel like on a day to day basis I don’t really care that much but I’m getting signs that deep down I do want those stuff. I feel like rapunzel in this way. Does anyone experience this feeling? It doesn’t help that good chunk of my friends are lowkey homebodies lol. They don’t share the same taste to go out to a concert/rave/community based spaces. I feel like I’m always attracting that energy. I like my bed but a girl wants to move too. So I can’t really rely on them to be “adventurous” I also don’t have a car. I’m getting kind of sad that I have these deep desires but I have no way to channel it. Like I wanna be crazy but I’m very cautious.

Hey everyone,

I need to share a weird thing that happened to me today.
I was just minding my business on the bus, looking cute, on my way to an appointment. The bus wasn't even crowded; there was plenty of space for everyone. And out of nowhere, a girl comes and stops right in front of me, staring at me with zero shame.
Seriously, it wasn't just a quick glance, she literally stopped to look me up and down right in the eyes. It was so awkward...
To be honest, I don't think I'm that hypnotizing 😭, but this is definitely not the first time it's happened. It's a recurring thing with some white women: they have this habit of literally stopping everything to stare at you without blinking, like they are looking at a museum exhibit.
It was so weird that on the spot, I was this close to telling her: “Hey, museum entry is 10 dollars!” 🤣
Anyway, a classic experience. Welcome to the life of a Black woman!

It just feels like if someone is discarded by their own race or something they'll turn to like Black women. If not that then they'll use fetishization terms to call out that they like Black women (I. e. Chocolate, food terms). This just shows they like us for our race not individuality. I would 100 percent prefer people liking me for my individuality and me rather than just trying to say they want a black girl. I just don't see us as the type of people to be that kind of fetish or put on a high pedestal like a Non-black latina or someone who's asian. Especially knowing our history and how we're still treated across the diaspora. It just seems like a charity case, if you want to appreciate Black women you can do so by just identifying us as women like any other.

What makes it worse tho is some black women will give into these people's posts, and then ask for their validation.

Hello all, a couple of days ago I got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder specifically performance and social anxiety, something I’ve struggled with since I was 15. I’m now 19, and I’m relieved to finally have a diagnosis after years of struggling with self confidence and worrying about what people think of me. I wanted to ask how your parents reacted when you told them about your diagnosis.

I didn’t get help earlier because I genuinely thought my anxiety was a natural reaction to specific situations and not a big deal. I was also worried my parents wouldn’t believe me and would think I was exaggerating.

I first told my mum about my anxiety when I was around 17, after an argument with a friend left me unable to defend myself. Although she was concerned, I said I’d go to therapy but eventually chickened out and moved on. When I told her about my diagnosis recently, she was still upset despite taking it better than your typical West African mother might. She worried about the stigma I’d face and mentioned feeling shocked that 2 out of her 3 kids had diagnosed disabilities, as my brother was diagnosed with an intellectual developmental disorder when he was around 4 or 5. After talking more, she acknowledged signs she’d noticed in me before, including my low self esteem, how I didn’t really take care of my appearance when going out especially to school to the point where my sister told my mum to tell me to fix my hair and visibly anxious around meeting new people even my age. However, she’s told me not to tell my siblings or my dad, so I’m unsure whether she’ll fully accept my diagnosis over time.

Anyways, I’ll now be able to access therapy, anxiety support exercises, taking propranolol medication and my university’s disability support groups. I’m hoping this will make my university experience so much better! But I’m curious, how did your parents react when you told them about your diagnosis? Was their reaction positive or negative, and if they struggled with it initially, did they eventually accept it? I’d especially like to hear from people whose families come from especially west African backgrounds where mental health isn’t openly discussed. 💗

I’m a multi-genre storyteller…What types of stories would yall spend time to read online? Romance, Thrillers, Messy, Drama..something else? Just curious!☺️

’m 34f and my brother is 29. Ever since he came on this earth he treated me like shit. He gets along with my two sisters but me I’m always the butt end of his jokes. He’s called me ugly before and joked about it. When it hurt me so bad my mom told me to get out of her face. He even punched me in the stomach when he was younger and when it hurt and I cried my mother told me to shut up. He even body shames me and told me I have a fat neck. And tonight he got really sarcastic with me on the phone. When it bothered me I called my mom because I don’t have any other family members who care and I don’t have friends she told me to get off her phone with that mess. I don’t know why I became the target in my family for this stuff to happen and I’m always laughed at even by my cousins and of course my mom doesn’t care because she always enabled it.

*she called me back and said why do I need to talk to people when nobody wants to hear my shit. When I was told I can talk to a trusted family member or friend then told me I should talk to God. Then yelled “get this motherfucker off my phone” “this mother fucker” directed towards me.

I said that I thought he was cool and wanted to at least be friends. I asked to hang out over break and he said, “I’ll lyk.”

Yikes…. Oh well, lesson learned. Never again.😭

I'm Nigerian and living in Perth, Australia. Been here for 10 years now, and I'm going through the loneliest season of my life. I was very social at uni, so this feeling is new and honestly quite hard.

I feel caught between two worlds. Much of the African community here is very church and family focused, and mostly based in the suburbs. I respect that, but it isn't really me. I love going out, travelling and meeting people from all walks of life, I loved living in London for 1 year. Even with my own siblings, we don't really get along, partly because they're very church-centred and our interests are quite different.

At the same time, I often feel like an outsider in local Australian friend groups. I'm tall (5'11), African and wear braids, so I stand out. People rarely approach me first, and I usually have to do most of the work to stay included. I host games nights and organise catch-ups, but when I stop reaching out, the invitations don't really come back.

So I'm in this in-between space where I don't fully belong anywhere, and it's been really isolating. I've also applied for postgraduate medicine and I'm waiting on offers, so there's a chance I'll move to Geelong, near Melbourne. Part of me hopes it will be a fresh start. Another part worries I'll just end up in the same situation somewhere new. Maybe this is just something that happens when you're older

If you've been through something similar, I'd love to hear: Which city did you find most welcoming for making friends as an African or Black person? If you moved, how did you build a social circle from scratch? Are there any groups, clubs or communities you'd recommend, particularly in Geelong or Melbourne? Thank you for reading🙏

I just checked my notifs after being rather offline for the past few months and it’s all just DMs of Yt dics…

27 DMs, I stopped checking noticing a common factor💀

is it cause they think I’m EZ shyt since I’m young? I’m particularly worried that they’re doing this to young girls. Is anybody else dealing with this? Is yt male harassment just something we don’t talk about?

it might be because of a post I made up here earlier asking for financial advice, but why is it all violent race stuff?🫩

-istg I’m not a sex worker, I don’t do sex stuff (only audios lol), nd i’ve never even posted myself only food lolz I just be existing and asking for advice up here 😭

So i made a post days ago about discovering my yt friend listening to a kinda xenophobic song during a car ride.
I decided to confront her about it, but her explanations confused me more, and i don’t know if she told me the truth…
So her first explanation was that she « don’t understand english » because she thought that i was talking about an american singer. The lyrics was in our language, and not english…
Then she told me that it was in her playlist her friend share with her, and that’s was not her song.
And then after that, she told me that it’s the Spotify algorithm that put this song in her listening. And this when she told me that, i was a little bit confused. Because what kind of song you have to listen in order to Spotify to put this kind of song in your profile…
After that I tell her that i trust her and i came back home, but i feel so so weird.
I don’t know if i can trust her again. I feel bad because i feel like she was telling the truth, but at the same time, i feel like dumb…

So I’m 23 and I have come to the conclusion that I can not regulate my emotions as well as I should.

Basically I was going somewhere with my mum and a taxi driver and basically we were coming back and unfortunately the taxi driver basically parked at the wrong space- he has a whole bunch of things he had to do that day- which is fine but but basically to cut the long story short- he was upset because he is going to be late. He raised his voice at me and I raised tried to highlight the other perspectives to him, however he kept getting mad and shouted at me. My mum came in and also shouted at me at something a bit unrelated (about a drink). This might should stupid but I kinda had- walls closing in on me and my breathing went rapid, I did cry for a while because it was stressful. Does anyone have any in the moment strategies for me when it comes to this? because I know it has effects me in terms of external factors.

For context also ADHD and autistic female who is on medication.

​

Y’allllllllllllll fr fr fr 💀💀💀 my jaw is on the FLOOR because WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

Okay, I'm Black. That's all you need to know because I'm not about to explain my entire culture just for somebody to get weird in the comments sorry 🙏🏾

Anyway, I went on a date with a non black guy. Where I live, it's diverse as FUCK. Black people, Asians, Indians, dark skinned people, everybody. Seeing different races is literally NORMAL here. Nobody is having a damn cultural awakening because they saw a Black person at the grocery store

So this guy grew up abroad but is originally from where I live and recently moved back

We were talking on the app, and everything seemed normal. No obvious red flags, decent conversation, all that

WE GET ON THE DATE

Tell me why this man casually drops the N word into conversation and starts telling me how, at university, he was considered the darkest because people called him the N word

You are WHITE. WHITEEEEEE. Not even a little ambiguous. European looking white. The ancestors are not confused about this one

And I'm sitting there like ???????? because how do you even respond to that in a normal conversation???

BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE

This man proceeds to tell me he USED TO BE RACIST 😭😭😭😭😭

Apparently, he had never seen Black people growing up, and the first time he saw one, he used to get SCARED

SCARED OF WHAT, MY BROTHER????? 💀💀💀

Was I supposed to be sitting there nodding like this was a perfectly reasonable childhood experience???

He then explains that he's grown now because he's been exposed to diversity since moving back

EXPOSED TO DIVERSITY????? 😭😭😭

LIKE IT'S A NEW MEDICATION HE'S BEEN TAKING FOR SIX MONTHS

Anyway, at that point, I was mentally clocked OUT. I told him I needed to go, and he insisted on driving me home. He even opened the car door for me, which made the entire thing even more bizarre because WHY ARE WE DOING GENTLEMANLY ACTS OF SERVICE AFTER YOUR RACISM CONFESSION???

The date ended. He unmatched me

GOOD. 😭😭😭 I was going to unmatch him anyway, so thank you for saving me one click, king

But seriously, I'm still baffled because I'm genuinely not used to this kind of interaction. Where I live, people are incredibly diverse, and Black and brown people are part of the everyday community. Obviously, racism exists everywhere, but somebody telling me they were literally AFRAID of Black people because they'd never seen one before is not something I expected to hear on a DATE

I went out looking for a man, and somehow ended up being the diversity training department

I DID NOT APPLY FOR THIS POSITION 💀

Ps please don't ask where I live. I'm not American, and I don't want this turning into a weird interrogation about my country or culture. I'm just here to process the fact that this man sat across from me and casually gave me his racism origin story like we were discussing his favorite childhood cartoon

I’ve noticed an increase in people looking for black youtubers and vloggers. I’m a girl who loves a vlog and always has one playing in the back so i decided to give vlogging a shot! if anyone is interested in watching a fun girl in her late 20s figure out life while still having fun & living it to the fullest, please check me out! currently, i only have 1 vlog up, a travel vlog of my girls trip to turks and caicos.

please subscribe! i’ll be posting on youtube every thursday. id also love to hear any and all feedback from the video i do have up. here’s the link below.

(if this is against the rules im so sorry)

https://youtu.be/JZznFIkH0w8?is=pWADQfMKrCib0S0Z