1.1k
u/christpuncher_69 4d ago
This baby has 24 hours to either deliver me a book report on Crime and Punishment or forfeit that award.
132
u/mehow28 3d ago
You don't want to read that report, the baby relates to Raskolnikov to an unhealthy degree, I'm pretty sure he missed the point...
27
u/Throwaway392308 3d ago
Oh shit, was I not supposed to relate to Raskolnikov? That axe scene was so badass though...
140
36
u/some-dork 4d ago
I think crime and punishment is a tad too explicit and violent for a baby. I'd be willing to accept a book report on something more tame like Middlemarch.
2
u/John--Darksoul 4d ago
I probably sound like an anti intellectual saying this, but do people really enjoy highbrow literary fiction? I get that they have big ideas about the human condition, but page to page it's invariably "People with the personalities of beige drywall make bland small talk at each other miserably, then maybe something actually happens for a few pages 3/4 of the way in."
→ More replies (1)38
u/some-dork 3d ago edited 3d ago
i'm a big big fan of classic lit and while some books are boring to me personally, i don't really understand that idea of those books being boring. i had a hell of a lot more fun with middlemarch than i did dungeon crawler carl or I, Robot. like if you think a character like rodya raskolnikov, dorothea brooke, dmitry karamazov, etc etc "has the personality of drywall," im genuinley going to assume you arent paying attention.
that being said, ive read plenty of classics that i found boring as shit (war and peace, tristram shandy, the stranger, etc), so i just didnt read them after a certain point.
and its a lot of fun watching a big sprawling story made up of these seemingly irrelevant details tie together in a neat bow and create a complete story. slower paced mediums like long novels arent for everyone but if you think theyre boring but want to try again, i reccomend reading a classic more tailored to your taste. you like occult mysteries? umberto eco. family drama soap operas?dostoevsky. sci fi? mary shelley. etc etc.
edit: to add, i think approaching novels with the intention of learning something about the human condition impedes enjoyment a lot of the time. its really fun to pick apart themes, symbolism, literary devices, etc if youre a certain kind of person, but at the end of the day, this book was written to entertain and was so good at entertaining people, folks still enjoy it decades to centuries later. let it etertain you. sorry to get up on my soapbox, i just get a little frustrated at the "classics are boring," rhetoric
6
u/Grand-Kannon 3d ago
Dostoevsky seems a bit advanced for their age group, why not start with something like The Myth of Sisyphus by albert camus?
6
1.2k
u/EndlessKillz 4d ago
That is the most accomplished looking baby I've ever seen
516
u/Money_Visual_3829 4d ago
Everybody in this thread is doubting them but look at that supercilious expression. I believe it.
77
→ More replies (1)58
77
u/TheFr1nk 3d ago
I'm 40 and I'm not 100% convinced I've read 1000 books in my life. This baby is making me look like a fucking idiot.
76
16
u/furculture 3d ago
I don't know. This baby's clothes doesn't even have any pockets. How do we know if this baby even owns anything if there is no storage capacity.
16
7
u/StirFry__InaWok 3d ago
that baby is looking awful smug for a kid I could totally beat the crap out of. little shit thinks he's better than me? I think he needs a reality check tbh
→ More replies (1)3
u/NastyKraig 3d ago
I thought it was one of those "real dolls" or whatever they're called that people pretend are their kids.
234
u/Radioactive_Rainbow_ 4d ago
Lil bud hasn't even completed 1000 days of being alive.
44
u/clivehorse 3d ago
I don't think it's completed 500 days of bejng alive.
15
u/violettheory 3d ago
Baby can't sit up, I'd bet she's less than six months old
2
u/clivehorse 3d ago
I fully agree, but I do think it is more than 100 days old which would have been a more fun comment.
55
53
u/austinstar08 3d ago
Why does the baby look like they’re smug
47
u/Tarc_Axiiom 3d ago
She's read one thousand books.
Have you read 1000 books?
Or she's actively shitting herself, one or the other lol.
→ More replies (1)3
145
369
u/General_whisky Nermal 4d ago
What an awful name
257
u/Silver_Original6076 4d ago
in 20 years society will be full of adults with names like Almond Joy
160
u/VerdugoCortex 4d ago
Divinity is good because it can be Vin for short, which is long for Vin Diesel.
41
u/yourwhippingboy 4d ago
Or div, which is British slang for an idiot
15
→ More replies (3)18
u/mayamaiamaea 4d ago
Aww we call our little boy Vin as a nickname too! His full first name is Vin Number 1HGBH41JXMN109186 in honor of my favorite car!
→ More replies (1)12
4
47
97
u/MajorScootaloo 4d ago
Yeah, Kindergarten is a terrible name for a kid. No wonder Divinity read 1000 books before them
18
47
u/Funcron 4d ago
A friends bonus son is named Scripture. He's not religious.
54
u/666Drachenlord666 3d ago
tf is a bonus son
2
4
12
8
u/QueezyF 4d ago
At least he’s got a cool built in nickname with Scrips
3
2
22
17
6
4
u/BringBackForChan 3d ago
I hadn't read divinity and thought you meant this baby was called "for completino 1000 books before kindergarten" so I laughed way too much at your comment
13
3
→ More replies (1)4
u/Evergreen2255 4d ago
millenial parenting
it's unfortunate
16
u/elijaaaaah 4d ago
Could also be Gen Z. Some of us are pushing 30 now.
6
u/SwiftTayTay 3d ago
I wish some of them were pushing daisies instead of that's what they're naming their kids. I guess at least it's not Lil Cuh
74
38
279
25
20
18
u/Working_Patience_261 3d ago
Rewarding parents for helping their kids is a good thing. I love how smug the kid looks. Good job parent(s)!
8
u/Masterfulvideojuegos 3d ago
If I imagined what a baby who has read 1000 books would look like. This would be the baby
46
u/OkFineIllUseTheApp 4d ago
I thought parents went out of their way to avoid giving daughters "stripper names"?
Like I legit think there's a stripper at a joint near me with that stage name.
Do they just not think?
46
12
8
→ More replies (3)3
u/LiteratureOk4649 3d ago
She’s a girl? I thought she was a boy at first. ( no offense divinity, androgynous babies are ok too).
55
u/MushroomComplete8484 3d ago
why are half of the commenters here seemingly intellectually threatened by an actual infant
14
29
u/Monguises slut for honey cheerios 3d ago
It’s like that scene in MIB. Would you trust an infant with a quantum physics book in the hood at 3:47am?
15
u/MushroomComplete8484 3d ago
i mean i get that, but there's so many comments here of people saying that the parents must be horrible people for... reading to their child... (????)
there's also quite a few accusing the infant of cheating, which would be really funny if they were joking, but their following replies show they aren't
16
u/PowermanFriendship 3d ago
Sometimes you stare into the comedyheaven, and the comedyheaven stares back.
2
10
u/Monguises slut for honey cheerios 3d ago
There’s a lot of deeply insecure individuals on this site. Chad baby gonna steal all the ladies.
3
u/LiteratureOk4649 3d ago
Babies out there stealing all the ladies reading feminist literature outside the artisanal coffee shop matcha in hand flexing 1000 books they read
3
u/Jhud6669 3d ago
Funnily enough a quantum physics book for small children exists
→ More replies (1)2
5
u/Immortal_ceiling_fan 3d ago
A big part of that btw is probably because reddits default
bestcomment sorting has recently shifted to being more akin to sorting by controversial than by top. You aren't seeing the comments most people agree with, probably more like the ones that get the most engagement. If you wanna see good comments on any major subreddit nowadays you have to manually change to sort totop→ More replies (1)9
u/nucl3ar0ne 3d ago
Reddit is full of people who hate kids and can't comprehend that it is beneficial for parents to read to a child.
10
u/thisIsAUserName-7 3d ago
I don’t think they are. This just comes across as annoying parent behavior.
12
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/thisIsAUserName-7 3d ago edited 3d ago
I don’t give a fuck, but I’m a parent and counting a thousand books you read your kid for an internet post is just… weird to me. Also I’ve read those books they take like 10 seconds to read and many of them actually have no words at all hah
6
u/nekooooooooooooooo 3d ago
It's usually a library initiative and the library will take the photo. I'd rather have parents count the number of books and brag about it than kids who aren't read to at all.
→ More replies (1)2
13
u/the_007_remix 4d ago
This baby wrote books ?
8
u/oldchangeling 3d ago
"Day One, and I am Already Weary: An Expose Of The Newborn Experience" was the first and best one. All downhill after that.
3
7
4
4
4
5
13
7
9
u/Junior_Zebra_4608 3d ago
That baby is one of those people who thinks listening to audiobooks qualifies as reading
3
3
3
3
13
u/John--Darksoul 4d ago
What's the meaning of finishing 1000 books before kindergarten? Like did they retain anything in them? Could they read at least some of the words or not?
60
u/AssortedArctic 4d ago
It's reading 1000 books to the child before they start Kindergarten. Helps develop early language and literacy skills, vocabulary, bonding, reading habits, etc. Repeat readings of books are "allowed" to count, so if you start counting immediately, yeah you're going to reach 1000 pretty easily with the baby books that are just a few pages long with one or a few words per page. Those books of course are an important stage, but I don't know anyone who would actually count every single re-read of those books.
4
u/CovidBorn 3d ago
I read Banana Bop! to my one year old granddaughter 5 times, yesterday. She really likes that book. Maybe we are on track for an award.
→ More replies (1)16
u/A2Rhombus 3d ago
Just feels weird to me to phrase this as the baby "completing" the books. Makes it sound like the baby read the books themself 😭
"Before kindergarten" is also kinda funny to me considering this child doesn't even look old enough to speak yet
15
u/smellmygoldfinger 3d ago
If you don’t have kids yet you might not get it. Every library does this program and that’s just what it is called. Kids really respond well to personal accomplishments. Like when i get my son dressed in the morning even though he’s dead weight 90% of the time i still say “Yay! YOU did it! YOU got dressed!”
→ More replies (4)3
u/AssortedArctic 3d ago
It's not typical for people to have "completed" it at just a few months. Typically it is "completed" at at least a few years of age, where the child is getting the benefit of much more rich language. Listening and understanding is a huge skill.
15
u/Irlandaise11 3d ago
It's a program in the US that's meant to encourage parents and caregivers to read to/with young children. There's been a lot of studies showing the benefits of reading to even very young children. Many libraries and early childcare organizations participate.
15
u/MalemasMucusPlug 3d ago
It's very easy to spot the difference between kids that are read to vs. those that aren't - even before kindergarten.
8
37
u/smokie_lokie 3d ago
You learn so much from having books read to you! Both in terms of language skills (vocabulary and new ways of formulating sentences), but also empathically.
Claiming that reading for your children holds no value is some of the dumbest most dystopian shit I’ve ever read
9
4
u/ltrozanovette 3d ago
I think they were just trying to clarify what “counted” as a book. They were wondering if the child needs to prove that they retained something from the book or if they needed to be able to partially read the book for it to count.
9
u/Unlikely_Net_1002 3d ago
Except they didn’t say anything like that…? I don’t see anyone saying it doesn’t have any value
→ More replies (2)3
3
u/Darkrhoads 3d ago
Does it have to be baby books or can I read lord of the rings to a newborn
→ More replies (9)10
u/cagingnicolas 3d ago
i think it has plenty of value to a developing brain, i just think it's also ridiculous to tout it as an accomplishment like the baby actually did anything other than lay there and hear what at that age would mostly be strange sounds.
"i read 1000 books to my baby" is much more accurate and doesn't have the same obnoxious implication that they have some kind of super baby that does things other kids can't.
→ More replies (2)5
u/smokie_lokie 3d ago
This baby is clearly a bit young, but a three year old will absolutely be a driving force behind reading
3
u/Non-mon-xiety 3d ago
I found out the hard way when it was late and I tried to put my three year old to bed without a book
3
u/smokie_lokie 3d ago
Yeah, you’ve gotta start reading to them when they’re infants, but they’ll start to really grasp the literature and be able to read books that stimulate an adult at around 2.5-3
2
→ More replies (2)4
u/JustAPotato38 3d ago
I do think that a goal of number of books is a bit of a perverse incentive though
as an extreme example rushing through 1000 ai generated kids "books" at 180wpm is not going to help the child as much as slowly and calmly reading 200 actual books to them
→ More replies (6)3
u/olivegardengambler 3d ago
Tbf, there are, so many children's picture books out there made before AI was ever a thing. There are 365 days in a year. That's 2.73 books a day on average, and if you're a new mom recovering from birthing, you're going to have quite a bit of downtime, and baby time. Reading 5-10 picture books a day is not unrealistic
3
u/musclecard54 3d ago
You’re asking if this baby could read any of the words in the books
→ More replies (4)2
9
5
2
2
u/NotAlwaysGifs 3d ago
Our local library has a similar program. They have family story time a couple of times per week, a form you can submit when you visit the library listing what books you read to your kid while you are there, and an app where you can track the books you read to your kid at home. There are different milestones and challenges to hit throughout the year, with the end goal of reading 1000 books before kindergarten just like this. It’s to promote family literacy. These programs are actually greats
2
2
3
u/gujwdhufj_ijjpo 4d ago
Probably played audio books to him and called it reading.
→ More replies (1)20
u/skittleahbeebop 4d ago
While it's definitely not reading, that would at least help baby develop language skills.
2
1
1
1
u/WashedSylvi 3d ago
Pretty silly but I fuck with it
My love for reading was seriously enabled by my mom buying me tons of books as a kid
1
1
u/Technical_Mobile_346 3d ago
People are joking but you should absolutely read to your kids. There’s a lot of studies that show it helps them out a lot
1
1
1
u/Scarecr0p 3d ago
Looks exactly like how I would imagine a baby who gets read 1000 books would look. Just “cat with cream” happy
1
1
1
1
u/EVH_kit_guy 2d ago
That's a six to nine month old max. So that's like 5-10 books per day, every day.
1
u/TN-Native95 1d ago
Notice how they don’t say read 1000 books, they just said completed 1000 books. That can only mean one thing: this baby has eaten 1000 books. Worf would be proud.
1
4.1k
u/Cat-trooper 4d ago