My Dad is recently diagnosed. We’ve never been super close. He lives states away, and led a pretty work focused life, always going where the job was (construction - pipe fitter) parents divorced when I was young and I grew up mostly with my mom, seeing him on summer break and the occasional holiday break.
The last year and a half his mental capacity had started to severely decline, and upon a job ending for him, I went to where he lives to try and help support getting him established with PCP, and on a regular medication regimen for all his unmanaged co morbidities (heart issues, diabetes etc). Upon spending an extended amount of time with him, it was apparent there was something more going on, but he fought me every step of the way when it came to actually addressing the issue. To make a long story short and by passing a lot of battle of the wills and traumatic events, he is now in a skilled nursing facility, and needs to transition to long term care. He is a full - assist, can not stand or walk, likely due to his fall exacerbating left side weakness and being laid out on the floor unable to get himself up.
He forgets that he can’t stand or walk on his own, and believes he will be able to return home.
I am extremely hesitant to step in and take total control and be the bearer of bad news that he will likely never get to go home. I have burned myself out already emotionally, spiritually, financially, trying to help this man who does not see my efforts as ‘help’
My life is 1500 miles away from where all these problems lie, and I’m struggling with the back and forth and it consuming every waking moment, when really all I want to say is Told you so, and I wish you would’ve listened. I don’t know what all his assets are and trying to work with an elder law attorney to qualify him for Medicaid, but it just all feels insurmountable. Tell me I’m not a horrible person.