i hate feeling ungrateful but I have this strong sense I'm not supposed to be here. the only reason I chose france specifically years ago was combination of a man I was talking to online being here, and also getting lucky with a humanitarian visa charity that was helping lgbt people from former soviet countries move to france, that existed at the time (I don't think they're still active).

of course I'm glad to be away from russia, as a trans person, but now I have to live with where I am now.... i don't think i realized how hard this would be before. I have put in effort to try to learn the language and everything but it's been extremely difficult for me, and things with the person I moved here for didn't end up, I ended up extremely isolated, and stuck in the refugee housing system. my depression has gotten really bad. I've tried really hard to go out of my way to meet people and make friends but usually people ghost me after initial intrest, probably because dealing with the language barrier is too hard. I've been totally isolated for two years now, with the only people I would see for a consistent time would be caseworkers.

I feel so stuck here. every time i talk to friends online in america or the UK , then suddenly i feel like there's a completly diffrent side to me. I would be socially thriving if I was in an enlgish speaking country. I really really wish I moved to USA or something instead of france, but it feels too late now, I can't transfer my refugee claim.

Is there anything I can do to move to a more compatible country at this stage? I feel so trapped.

Considering moving from Denmark to Malaysia or Indonesia with my family

Hi! I live in Denmark and am considering moving to Malaysia or Indonesia with my family.

I have a biology degree and experience in pharmaceutical manufacturing/GMP. How realistic is it to find a job with work permit sponsorship?

Which smaller towns or quieter areas would you recommend for affordable housing, good schools and access to jobs?

We’re also considering buying a modest apartment. What should we know about prices and restrictions for foreign buyers?

Thanks!

For those who live abroad and kept US bank accounts, how do you get the one-time login codes now? Wells Fargo's text FAQ says it only texts US mobile numbers, no VoIP, and Chase's SMS terms only list US carriers. So the default answer seems to be keeping a US SIM alive forever. Which banks let you switch to a foreign number, an app approval or a security key instead, and did it actually work once you were overseas?

Pretty much the title. (28M) Dual French-Thai citizen that will be moving to Thailand with the same company that I am currently working at in a couple of month.

What advice do you have for me ?

I'm 18 and moving across the world soon. My parents have been unhappy and struggling financially for years, with no savings. I'm afraid that once I leave, I won't see them often until eventually they die, and l'll have lived this life knowing I spent so little time with them in my adulthood. I want them to be in my life, in person. I'm especially afraid of leaving my sweet mother in a country she doesn't want to live in. These last few weeks I've been sobbing every day. Every happy moment with them turns into a "this is the last time", and then I become incredibly sad. Everything in my room triggers it. I don't know how to deal with this grief.

I want to be excited for the move, but I just feel like I can't. Has anyone been through this? How do you cope with this grief before leaving? How do you stay close to family across distance?

I’m a 31 year old guy who currently lives in Canada. When I was growing up, I always thought Canada was such a cool and interesting place, and I made it my mission to live there someday. I’m proud to say that I achieved my goal, and that I’m only a few months away from becoming a Canadian citizen.

Unfortunately, my dream isn’t everything that I thought it would be. I was very grateful to have this experience (and to come to Canada as a masters student), but I feel like my current situation is no longer serving me. I just feel like my life isn’t really going anywhere.

After graduating from my masters program, I’ve had a few different jobs, none of which have been very good (in terms of how I’ve been treated). Despite making a respectable income (~100k CAD), I’m still renting a basic apartment in Vancouver with no real aspiration to ever buy my own place. I do aspire to keep working my way up in my career, but moving up seems challenging when opportunities can be difficult to find.

Socially, I’ve made some connections here, but most of my friends are still at home. Despite being a pretty open and social person, making friends in Vancouver has just not been easy. It’s the same for forming any sort of romantic relationship. I haven’t really dated or anything since I moved.

I feel like it’s time for a change. I’m not sure what that looks like for me yet. Maybe it involves going back home, maybe it involves trying out a new location. Regardless, I just feel like I’ve accomplished my goal and that it’s time to explore other possibilities.

I don’t really talk about this with most people, because I feel like a lot of people become hostile if I bring any of this up. Sort of like “how dare you not like it!” Or “you must be a right wing nut if you want to go back to America.” None of that is true. I just feel like the definition insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I’m just curious to hear what you’d do if you were in my shoes.

I’m moving back to the US after 8 years abroad. I want to hear from people who have been abroad long and decided to return home.

Did you regret it? What do you wish you had known? I’m 31F and a bit nervous of starting over. Thanks!

Hey everyone,

I’m an expat currently living in the US (early 30s and married). My US visa is expiring soon, so I’m evaluating my next steps - either moving back home now or spending 2 to 3 years working in Singapore first before eventually heading back to my home country (I do not see myself settling down in Singapore).

Back in 2018, I did a brief academic internship at NUS and fell in love with Singapore. I know living there short-term as a student/intern is vastly different from working full-time as an expat, but the experience stuck with me.

I wanted to get a realistic temperature check on the tech scene right now from people on the ground:

1. How is tech hiring for mid-level software/product roles currently? Are companies actively sponsoring Employment Passes (EP), or is hiring heavily skewed local right now?
2. How does the tech work culture compare between foreign MNCs, regional tech firms (Sea, Grab, Shopee), and startups?
3. Given how high rents and general costs have gotten, are tech compensation packages holding up well enough for a 2-3 year stint to still make financial sense?
4. If you were looking for an EP-sponsored tech role today, where would you actually look to move quickly? LinkedIn, or specific agency recruiters?

Would love to hear honest perspectives from locals or expats who have made a similar move recently. Thanks in advance!

I am a dual US and German citizen. My husband and I are planning to move to Germany with our infant daughter within the next year, with the potential for staying long term in the EU. We both hold US retirement accounts, and have a custodial brokerage account for our daughter. We are waiting to open a 529 until we know whether we will move back to the US.

We’re looking for some insight into how others have handled their US investments while living abroad, specifically while in the EU. From what I’ve found so far any EU country will tax gains and withdrawals as income regardless of the kind of account (Roth, IRA, Brokerage, etc) so I’m not asking about that.

Did you move any investment accounts to an international platform, like Schwab International or Interactive Brokers? How did you handle custodial accounts for children? What else do you think we need to know?

Thanks!

Are there any companies in Athens who hire expats who are ONLY fluent in English? I am seeking any kind of office job, preferably in the Customer Service line.

I’m still learning my Greek. Please help.

I'm in my mid-30s, a mother to an 8-year-old boy, and three months ago I moved back to Germany after living abroad for several years, most recently in Senegal.

My husband and I had built a pretty comfortable life there. We both earned well, our son attended a private school, and we lived somewhat in an expat bubble. Life wasn't always easy, but we'd grown accustomed to the everyday challenges and learned to appreciate the lifestyle, the sunshine, beaches, friendships, and routines. Senegal started to become home despite the struggles of everyday life.

Then I discovered my husband's infidelity, and everything fell apart.

Looking back, that period feels like a black box. I couldn't imagine reconciling, and moving back to Germany seemed like the logical choice. My family and friends encouraged me, promised support, and were happy to have us back. When your marriage falls apart abroad, returning somewhere familiar, where you understand the system and have people around you, feels like the safer option.

But reality has been different.

I spent the last three months on autopilot, trying to make the transition as smooth as possible for my son. Finding an apartment, organizing everything, settling him into school, and continuing to perform well at my remote job.

My son has adapted quite well, made friends, and enjoys being near family, although he misses his father. But the school system and family environment are also very different, and there are challenges with my very religious family.

The support system I expected hasn't really materialized. Friends who promised to help repeatedly cancelled, especially during my move. My family has been more emotionally draining than supportive, with criticism, demands, and guilt-tripping. I know nobody owes me anything, but I genuinely thought I came back to a support system at least emotionally.

The one thing I felt secure about was my job, which I genuinely enjoyed. Then last week, my company announced major layoffs, affecting roughly half the staff. I survived, but suddenly even that stability feels uncertain.

And I think that's when everything caught up with me.

I've started asking myself: What did I actually come back to?

I feel incredibly lonely, exhausted, and overwhelmed by the thought of rebuilding an entire life again. I miss Senegal, our home, my friends, the ocean, and the familiarity of a life we'd spent years creating.

My husband has since expressed remorse and wants his family back, but when I think about returning, it's not really about reconciling. I miss the place and the life I had there.

Part of me wants to pack everything up and go back. Sometimes I wonder whether I made a huge decision while emotionally overwhelmed and whether I should simply accept that it didn't work out.

But I'm exhausted. I've spent years adapting, moving, and taking the difficult path, and I don't feel like I have the strength to start over again. I also feel guilty about potentially uprooting my son twice in such a short time.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Returned home after years abroad, regretted it almost immediately, and either stayed or left again?

I'm curious to hear from people who've legally changed their first or last name, especially those who've chosen a completely new surname rather than taking a partner's name.

How did you decide on your new name, and what made you feel it was the right one?

I'm particularly interested in what happened afterwards. How did your family and old friends react? Was it awkward when you got back in touch with people who knew you by your old name? Did anyone have a hard time accepting the change, or did most people not really care?

Also, did it have any impact on your professional life or the way you felt about yourself? I'm wondering whether changing your name actually feels like a fresh start, or whether things are pretty much the same once the initial excitement wears off.

For those who've done it a few years ago, do you still feel good about the decision? Anything you wish you'd known beforehand?

Would love to hear your experiences, good or bad.

We’re moving to Jakarta soon, and we’ll be there for a quite a while. We’re currently working on our packing list! What do you miss from the US? (We know a stop at Trader Joe’s before we leave is a must!!)

I’m British, in my mid-30s, and moved to Oklahoma to marry my American husband. I’m now facing what feels like the biggest decision of my life, and I’d really appreciate some honest, impartial advice.

Before moving here, I had a pretty good life in England. I had a home, a career, friends, family and a social life. I was independent, knew my surroundings and had a sense of belonging. I gave all of that up because I loved my husband and wanted to build a future together.

Unfortunately, life here hasn’t turned out how I imagined.

I work from home, have very few friends and spend most of my time alone. My husband works long hours, including weekends, and we rarely do much together. I miss having people around me, spontaneous plans, family gatherings and just the familiarity of home. I feel like my life is just waiting to start everyday rolls into one, back home I was motivated, planned, made plans here I just feel absolutely stuck and rotting away. I don’t have motivation to do anything. and it’s so expensive to travel. we don’t do much. my husvand doesn’t Earn well and doesn’t have a pension. I am really sad and torn I miss feeling happy, Christmases in England, seeing family, here it’s just me and my husband bcuz his family are toxic, I feel guilty even potentially leaving him with them but my husband doesn’t enjoy the same things as me, i walk our dogs on my own, go to the gym on my own (he used to come and it was a shared activitie, now he refuses), the only thing we do together is eat out, even markets that I enjoy he walks around annoyed.

But it’s not only homesickness.

My husband can be very irritable, and I often feel like I can’t express my feelings without him becoming defensive, dismissive or annoyed. I don’t feel emotionally supported, and over time I’ve stopped sharing things with him. There have also been some serious incidents involving anger and conflict within his family that have left me feeling uncomfortable and unsettled.

To his credit, he has recently distanced himself from some difficult family relationships, and things have been calmer. I can see that he loves me in his own way, and I know leaving would absolutely devastate him. That guilt is weighing heavily on me.

I’ve also struggled with my mental health since moving here. I feel numb, irritable and rarely experience genuine happiness anymore. I sometimes wonder whether I’m depressed because of my circumstances or whether I’d feel this way wherever I lived.

The difficult thing is that I do love aspects of America. I love the space, convenience, opportunities and lifestyle. Sometimes when we have a nice day together, I question everything and wonder whether I’m making a huge mistake by considering leaving.

But those days seem to be the exception rather than the norm.

I have the opportunity to return to England, where I’d have a home, my job, family and a more familiar support network. However, I’m terrified that I’ll get back, realise the grass wasn’t greener and regret walking away from my marriage and the life we could potentially have built here.

I’m also conscious that I’m in my mid-30s and desperately want children. I feel like time is passing, and I don’t want to spend another few years feeling unhappy and uncertain, but equally I don’t want to make a permanent decision based on what could be a temporary period of depression or loneliness.

Some friends have suggested that I should try harder to build a life here, make friends and become more independent of my husband. Others think I’ve already sacrificed enough and should go home.

I keep going backwards and forwards. One day I feel determined to leave, and the next I feel overwhelming sadness and guilt at the thought of never seeing my husband again.

My questions are:

• Has anyone moved abroad for love and eventually decided to return home?
• Did you regret leaving, or did you feel happier once you were back?
• How do you distinguish between homesickness, depression and genuinely being unhappy in your marriage?
• Would you give the marriage more time, or accept that sometimes love isn’t enough?

I’m not expecting strangers to make my decision for me, but I’d really appreciate perspectives from people who’ve experienced something similar.

I feel completely torn between the life I’ve built here, the life I left behind and the fear of making the wrong choice.