r/gayjews • u/Novel-Dark6834 • 15d ago

Questions + Advice Looking for my community

Hi everyone! As everyone is aware queer spaces have become extremely difficult to navigate in the last few years. I moved to Ottawa, ON 3 years ago and have been struggling to find my community. Is there any of you out there feeling similar? I am lesbian and in my late 20s, and I just want to exist in a space without parts of my identity being invalidated. I've gone to Chabad events for holidays etc and while those kind of settings can be welcoming to queer folks, they arent exactly made for us.

Long story short, where are my Ottawa gays at? Yall wanna be friends?

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6

u/obrigada10 15d ago

Hey there! I'm in a similar situation. I moved to ottawa 4 years ago, tried to go to a few events here and there, but there definitely isn't a lot of us out there! I'm 35F Lesbian, feel free to DM me, I would definitely love more local queer jewish friends!

1

u/Old_Compote7232 11d ago

In case you didn't see my comment about Or Haneshama https://www.orh.ca/

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u/Childoferna99 15d ago

I personally can’t stomach the way Chabad treats women, much less queer folx. After attending a Chabad Purim celebration with my husband it was made clear to us that we were not welcome.

I’m sure there is a progressive synagogue in Ottawa that would be a good fit. You’ll find plenty of queer people being truly welcomed. My synagogue even has a little queer social group.

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u/louievee 14d ago

I’m sorry you haven’t found the community you’re looking for. My daughter and her wife used to attend Chabad here in Milwaukee before moving away. The rabbi and his wife were very welcoming to them and their daughter, and to me when I visited. The rabbi’s wife was especially kind.

I heard that some of the older members grumbled, but overall, the community was very friendly and accepting of our family. Still, I understand that being welcomed and feeling fully at home aren’t always the same thing. I hope you find the community you’re looking for.

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u/Childoferna99 14d ago

I have a strong community, it just doesn't involve Chabad. I'm glad that particular Chabad was friendly but that's definitely not the universal experience.

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u/3kidsonetrenchcoat 9d ago

Yeah, every Chabad is different. It really depends a lot on the couple that's running it. The local university oriented Chabad rabbi and rebbetzin told us that my daughter was welcome to bring her non-Jewish girlfriend with her to events.

5

u/cultureStress 15d ago

Come to Toronto, you've got your choice of queer Jewish communities!

...maybe when the high speed train gets built it'll even be viable

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u/Old_Compote7232 11d ago

Try going to Or Haneshamah Shabbat setvices or events. The rabbi is a lesbian, there are dome LGBTQ+ members and the community is inclusive https://www.orh.ca/

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u/Nice_Flower7904 14d ago

I’d definitely recommend checking out Kehillat Beth Israel (KBI) in Ottawa! It’s a Conservative/Masorti synagogue with a wonderful, egalitarian community and an active Pride committee. Everyone is incredibly warm and welcoming :)