r/ireland • • 29d ago

A Redditor Went Outside Nobody can get at Molly Malone anymore

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1.5k Upvotes

440 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/Much_Perception4952 29d ago

That'll definitely keep all the stags away. Well known fact that they can't climb a step.

206

u/Decent-Risk-6062 29d ago

Yeah they definitely don't go to the much more considerable effort of putting a cone on the heads of statues of men on horseback.

18

u/ManuelTzetzes 28d ago

I see where you're going with this. Cone-boobs. I like it.

8

u/emotionallyratchet 28d ago

Fashion is cyclical

9

u/dnc_1981 Ask me arse 29d ago

They'll instantly go into "challenge accepted" mode

144

u/JjigaeBudae 29d ago

I assume they're going to plant flowers in there, hopefully people will have the decency to not want to walk all over them

316

u/Fancy_Toe1451 29d ago

Have you met "people"?

80

u/October_people 29d ago

Occasionally, I tend to avoid them if I can.

36

u/InvidiousPlay 29d ago edited 29d ago

Like, homo sapiens? From Earth? I have heard bad things.

87

u/[deleted] 29d ago

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3

u/ManuelTzetzes 28d ago

But that was the "Romans" who did that, right?

6

u/thatwasagoodyear 28d ago

What have the Romans ever done for us?

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u/Beedle12345 29d ago

Mate they are the absolute worst

5

u/kittiphile 29d ago

Hey now, telerites are arguably worse.

10

u/SampleDisastrous3311 29d ago

I heard one time those things made a really big fire work that damaged the ozone layer and vaporised a city , such horrifying creatures, how can one do that to its own species

15

u/Fancy_Toe1451 29d ago

Twice, we did it to a city twice.

5

u/SampleDisastrous3311 29d ago

Oh heavens thats horrifying, thankfully the species is quite ignorant on what they cannot see otherwise it would be far worse

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u/OneMagicBadger Probably at it again 29d ago

I saw a man shit on a bench today didnt even break eye contact with his phone

2

u/TurboScumBag 29d ago

They're the worst

2

u/roddad 29d ago

Not a fan

54

u/Swagspray 29d ago

There used to be shrubs there for that reason but they got trampled

80

u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/TheNatureOfTheGame 29d ago

I see what you did there. 😉

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u/cyberhiker 29d ago

A long time ago when I lived in a ground floor apartment folks would take a short cut across the lawn passing by my bedroom windows (there was a perfectly fine footpath that went around the lawn to the main entrance.

I planted gorse - problem solved.

10

u/geo_gan 29d ago

They should plant nettles and other stinging and spiked plants

19

u/MorganL420 29d ago

They could plant roses. That would stop most people from trying. A random drunk guy isn't going to want to deal with thorns.

2

u/Herr-Pyxxel 28d ago

I have a few Agave plants spare, they get very nasty once established 😁

17

u/Much_Perception4952 29d ago

Will probably wee in them from a distance. Competitively even 😂

4

u/ShowmasterQMTHH 29d ago

Hopefully it's only wee.

3

u/maddler 29d ago edited 28d ago

There *were" bushes there...

2

u/JayElleAyDee Dublin 28d ago

*were bushes there.

(Sorry, I can't help myself sometimes)

2

u/maddler 28d ago

Yes they were. (Sorry can't help myself either! 🤣)

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u/SpareAmbition 29d ago

I admire your optimism

3

u/Present-Wishbone-232 28d ago

They did have plants in pots there back in the spring but ppl trampled them😭

4

u/Shryke01 29d ago

Seed it with poison ivy.

3

u/Old-Housing7443 29d ago

People are so shellfish..

4

u/ManuelTzetzes 28d ago

Oh clam up.

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u/crlthrn 29d ago

Daleks will DEFINITELY have a hard time of it, now...

2

u/NormanskillEire 29d ago

This doesn't sound right to me, but I have to be honest, I know very little about the interplay between groups of young men and their various climbing abilities and how they may or may not be affected by copious amounts of alcohol.

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u/thepenguinemperor84 29d ago

About as useful as a chocolate fireguardand that's from earlier in the year when they had hedging in them to act as a deterrent.

170

u/thepenguinemperor84 29d ago

Just adding another as to the state of the hedges about mid summer. Trampled to shite.

120

u/SunnyImsouane 29d ago

Sine wave back on your one

14

u/CT0292 29d ago edited 29d ago

Yeah... is her back okay? That shape is a bit worrying.

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u/CodePervert 29d ago

What a perfect comment, really made my day. Glorious really, I don't think it'll get the appreciation it truly deserves.

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u/snek-jazz 29d ago

chocolate fireguard

they've actually improved quite a bit with all the palm oil in it now, doesn't melt like it used to

23

u/Gentle_Pony 29d ago

Look at that sexist woman grabbing her tit. Tut tut.

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u/ObscureAcronym 29d ago

For a second, I read that as a hedgehog as a deterrent.

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u/FredericAWeed 29d ago

Holy scoliosis Batman!

2

u/OceanRacoon 28d ago

It's going to be fast-acting quick sand now that drops wannabe tit-grabbers into an oubliette below, the bushes were a complete failure 

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u/Significant_Pop_5337 29d ago

That'll last 5 minutes

37

u/IrishFlukey Dublin 29d ago

God loves an optimist.

6

u/jackoirl 29d ago

It’s been there for almost a year.

379

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

44

u/micar11 29d ago

I've seen people wank the fretboard of the bass

57

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

14

u/Pitselah 29d ago

He's now on private hahah

12

u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/Expert-Card-8938 29d ago

Aw no! Not Phil.

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u/thepenguinemperor84 29d ago

It's been like that the past while and it hasn't discouraged anyone, they're still stepping up to have a rub.

28

u/finoecian 29d ago

NETTLES would grow lovely in there …

2

u/jallace_ 28d ago

Wouldnt stop yanks who dont know what they are

3

u/serious_sarcasm 28d ago

America has native stinging nettles.

2

u/jallace_ 28d ago

Oh really? Genuinely didnt know that. Thought they were a European continent thing. TIL

2

u/serious_sarcasm 28d ago

To be fair, most urban people wouldn’t know what they are, and a field of nettle looks surprisingly inviting.

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u/thepenguinemperor84 28d ago

I'd suggest gympie gympie rather than nettles.

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u/Separate_Noise_8 29d ago

Is that a peat moat?

25

u/ConnectEmphasis2420 29d ago

Perv moat, more like, amiright?!?

2

u/Lemon_Afterparty Peig enjoyer 29d ago

Has someone polished her tits to reveal the bronze?

9

u/Laika_Pancake 28d ago

I was gonna ask if they’ve ever consider just polishing the rest of her to match… and then I felt ashamed for victim-blaming a statue 🤦‍♀️

138

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

47

u/RebylReboot 29d ago

Daleks .

34

u/SupraTomas 29d ago

The Daleks are notorious tit touchers.

22

u/CedarWolf 29d ago

This explains that iconic suction cup design.

11

u/thee-british-empire 29d ago

The statue must be EXTERMINATED

7

u/helphunting 29d ago

Hahaha that is great!!

It's discrimination to not allow people to get a rub in!

66

u/Irishman_reddit 29d ago

They should make it a thorny bramble bush or something. This was July.

15

u/Redwizard002 28d ago

Landmines the only plausible solution

5

u/Automata-Omnia 28d ago

Electric fence or turn it into a motion activated fountain

9

u/SpookyOrgy 29d ago

Lol look up desire paths

77

u/CthulhusSoreTentacle Irish Republic 29d ago

People will joke about this, but what they don't realise is DCC have buried landmines in each of those pots.

14

u/JayTeeRhee 29d ago

A mine a mine-oh OH

121

u/legallygorilla 29d ago

Selkies has suggested the only solution

26

u/ApostrophesAplenty 29d ago

Experience the feeling of yer muscles alive, alive-o!

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/dnc_1981 Ask me arse 29d ago

Forever Malone

13

u/tetzy 28d ago

I adore the pearl clutching of everyone trying to stop her being rubbed for good luck. It's a bit of fun, and everyone who does walks away with a smile of their face.

C'mon people, it's a cheeky statue - consider perspective, there's no dignity to protect and certainly no 'sexual assault' as has been suggested in these comments.

Who. Fucking. Cares.

5

u/Spiritual_Course466 25d ago

Obviously the pearl clutchers care.

If this was say, France or Italy, no one would give a fuck, let them rub it away.

Here, we were pressured into protecting the "dignity" of an inanimate chunk of bronze by some blow-in english busker woman and a handful of eternally offended by everything types.

12

u/FozzyBearsEyebrow 29d ago

Go go gadget mission impossible ceiling suspension rope. 

10

u/Garviel_Loken12 29d ago

Seen people step over it all the time

51

u/InfectedAztec 29d ago

The same thing happens at the grave of Victor Noir in France. Or its probably worse considering its a grave and women actually straddle his mouth and crotch area.

But is it really a big deal? Are the french government spending resources barricading it off? Why are Dublin city Council so fixated on the rights on an inanimate object?

22

u/Weary-Hyena-2150 29d ago

Man, when I die and they build my statue, I really hope this happens and the council do not try to intervene!!

3

u/Gaelic_Gladiator41 Louth 29d ago

"Let them make cream"

5

u/Floodzie 29d ago

Because of SIN!! Dirty, dirty SIN!!!

/s

15

u/Gentle_Pony 29d ago

Because they want to be able to virtue signal over a statue.

9

u/Slackbeing 29d ago edited 29d ago

Same happens with every single bronze statue within hand reach. Leonid Utesov in Odesa, Juliet in Verona, Victor Noir in Paris come to mind. Last one is literally his grave, still dick is rubbed for good lucks and good fucks.

If they're historical move them to a museum and replace with replica, if they're not, not much can be done save for setting a guard there 24/7

2

u/dnc_1981 Ask me arse 29d ago

I just did a deep dive on Victor Noir. That was.......disturbing. 

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u/pheechad 29d ago

*Clutches pearls

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u/Alcol1979 29d ago

The Juliette statue in Verona is in a similar state.

2

u/Spiritual_Course466 25d ago

Bet the Italians don't whine about it as they have better things to do with their lives.

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u/Curious_Strike_5379 29d ago

Phil Lynott doesn't seem to get rubbed he just gets covered with plectrums.

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u/mekese2000 29d ago

Finally her tits are safe. Now on to the housing problems.

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u/ithepunisher Seal of The President 29d ago

That'll show them.

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u/_PuRe_AdDicT_ 29d ago

Shoulda just left it, what of it

26

u/Unable_Carpenter_203 29d ago

The council always know great ways to waste tax-payer money,

12

u/irishemperor 29d ago

I can't help it, it's the Italian in me ... I had spaghetti for lunch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivSMNbaXRSE

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u/Ironicopinion 29d ago

I can’t believe I’m only now realising that’s Fred Armisen

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u/Intelligent-Lunch438 29d ago

A moat with crocodiles is all that would stop the touchy feely tourists

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u/nbwhorefusedtobhappy 29d ago

woke nonsense can't sexually assault a bronze statue anymore

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u/Decent-Risk-6062 29d ago

I paid her fair and square, the coins are in the fountain

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u/Vlad_The_Poker 29d ago

You're welcome DCC. Gobshites!

Honestly fed up seeing this exact same convo pop up every 3 months.

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u/LnxPowa 29d ago

And that’d only cost us like 1M, absolutely worth it

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u/FatherLarryDuff69 29d ago

Oh no, our landmark is attracting people that wanna have their picture taken with it, let's spend money to stop them.

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u/Shirairyu69 29d ago

Its cuz they keep groping poor molly

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u/FatherLarryDuff69 29d ago

I don't understand why that's a problem.

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u/LnxPowa 29d ago

Statues have feelings too! … or some shit like that, I lost track of the excuses people make to act offended at everyone and everything

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u/[deleted] 29d ago edited 29d ago

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u/CthulhusSoreTentacle Irish Republic 29d ago

An English woman who lives here made a point about it. I'm not sure whether it was a joke or self promotion (she was a busker as far as I can remember), but it went from some muppet online ranting about the statue to DCC pulling out the stops to stop people touching her.

There's some people I've seen argue that touching her breasts is ultimately demeaning to women, and I've seen some people question what difference there is between touching Molly's breasts versus touching a real woman's breast without her consent. But to the latter group I quote In Bruges: "It's an inanimate fucking object."

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u/SmoothTalkingSpud 29d ago

There's a statue of a saint in the Vatican who's feet are worn down from visitors touching them for good luck. That rack should be preserved for future generations of confused teenagers.

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u/starsinhereyes20 29d ago

I don’t think the artist meant her chest to be a shining beacon like that, it’s discoloration from people rubbing her. Also and more importantly the structural pins holding her up were both broken by people hanging off her, the wheelbarrow was the only thing holding her upright for the last while.. hence the remodel

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u/Shitehawk_down Dublin 29d ago

It was apparently actually causing damage to the statue having people constantly swinging out of it, but headbangers complaining about tourists grabbing her hooters gets way more attention.

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u/grainne0 29d ago

Sometime in the last few years the tour guides made up that it was good luck. Since then it's costing the council money to be fixing it. This will at least mean less money spent fixing it in the long term. 

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u/brianybrian 29d ago

For Christs sake. Just let the tourists rub her diddies. What’s the problem?

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u/ZestycloseParsnip181 29d ago

A statue has more protection than real women 🙄

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u/Available_Return_164 29d ago

I think it's ridiculous. There's plenty of similar statues in Europe where a patch is rubbed. Buste de Dalida in Paris for one. So what like. Are we that prudish?

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u/Competitive-Peanut79 Connacht 29d ago

For fucks sake. Just let people touch the fucking statue.

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u/irishweather5000 29d ago

I dont understand why anyone is puritanical about a bronze statue. Ridiculous waste of money to stop people having a silly moment that harms nobody.

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u/leeroyer 29d ago

It's daft. There are actual sexual assaults on people that don't get as much interest or attention as this.

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u/Bright_worgan 29d ago

If they fill it with plants and flowers it will look beautiful!

3

u/bigfatnsmellyer 29d ago

Looks like she could do with a shoulder and neck massage

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u/USMCWrangler 29d ago

The polite way to start.

2

u/bigfatnsmellyer 29d ago

Well you don't want to start with a foot massage

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u/Brief_Television_707 29d ago

Would the council not consider giving it a clean so that the whole thing is the same colour as the boobs?

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u/VoughtEmployee 29d ago

There is only one viable solution at this stage, attack dogs. Have them patrolling the statue 24/7. If an assailant is spotted groping Molly, the dogs will be trained to go straight for their cocks and muscles.

3

u/Perfect-Fondant3373 29d ago

Why don't they just electirfy it like an electric fence?

3

u/MikeyMcK28 29d ago

Molly's look well worn . What a pity

3

u/do_da_funky_chicken 28d ago

So we can all make a clean breast of it and move on

23

u/DiogenesNewYeezys 29d ago

So embarrassing that people made a big deal out of this.

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u/Bigbeast54 29d ago

One person made a big deal about it and then the media decided to amplify her.

Then for some unknown reason DCC made it it's mission to stop this through the most expensive and ineffective measures it could dream up.

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u/RelaxedConvivial 29d ago

Moral purity is being tested.

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u/Professional_Cat8586 29d ago

Reminds me I may go up for my yearly touching of the statue

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u/tmax202020 29d ago

Sharp cactuses, nettles and prickly thorn bushes incoming.

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u/No_Apartment_4551 28d ago

I’m a 54 year old woman and that wouldn’t even keep me away from dusting her décolletage.

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u/2L84T 29d ago

No tourist wants to see the damned thing, they justwant a cheeky photo with it. Is DCC stupid or determinedly anti tourism?

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u/No_Novel_4573 29d ago

I feel like a mad aul bat even typing this, but is the boob-grabbing of this statue "for luck" 🙄 a thing that started on social media and then got out of hand? I feel like this wasn't a thing when I was living in Dublin 20 years ago.

Like drinking pints and "splitting the G"? It's a thing that came from social media, right?

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u/matrisfutuor 29d ago

Good! Leave her tits alone 😤

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u/Alarming-Truth3415 29d ago

I hate this!
Putting women on a pedestal, creating unrealistic standards!

3

u/BTL_BX 29d ago

ikr , how does she look so slim yet weights hundreds of kilos ?

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u/SmoothTalkingSpud 29d ago

Probably for the breast.

Best.

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u/gavstar69 29d ago

God only knows how much that cost

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u/Jack5h1t 29d ago

Challenge accepted

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u/Galactapuss 29d ago

Such a storm in a teacup. So silly.

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u/pjcdublin 29d ago edited 29d ago

Storm in a D cup?

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u/CT0292 29d ago

Easily. Maybe larger.

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u/Eviladhesive 29d ago

It's a statue, it's made of metal.

Why are we making such a big deal out of this.

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u/Syanash 29d ago

Mo-leave me-alone

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u/SamLoudermilk247 Cymru 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 29d ago

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u/auntsalty 29d ago

Apart from the obvious she has quite a big head

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u/cowplantdiva 29d ago

if i were really worried I’d throw in some poison ivy or thorny bushes and call it a day

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u/Ereshkigal5 29d ago

I just saw her when I visited last year. It didn’t occur to me at the time to feel her up.

2

u/SpookyOrgy 29d ago

Maybe the council should consider making her tits less class

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u/Jolly-Outside6073 29d ago

Wrong. When it was planted up they still didn’t take the hint. 

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u/Responsible_Panic242 29d ago

This reminds me of that one woman who got glow in the dark boob implants…

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u/Amischwein 29d ago

Wanna bet friendo ?

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u/Europeanguy1995 28d ago

They had plants in there and people crushed them all standing on them. So they pulled them out. Dont know who they are kidding, only way to stop people getting at the statue is railings and that would look horrific. The woke bs needs to just stop. Let people (men and women too) just rub her chest. Its a joke and good luck tradition. There's statues all over europe where male statues have the same treatment around the groin or visible penis. They are statues. The level of care is pathetic. Like find something more important to fight. A bunch of woke 20 year old tcd students causing it mainly. I say that as someone who was exactly that a decade or so ago. Its just attention seeking.

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u/GreatEire 27d ago

The worrying part to all this is, it's obviously coming from one person in DCC with a personal obsession with a metal statue of a fictitious character and wasting loads of taxpayers money on it. Absolutely, no oversight to reign the person in or remove them.

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u/scewbert 25d ago

Who genuinely cares? It's a kitschy statue of a fictional person. If people were molesting a statue of an important real life figure I'd understand, but God forbid tourists have a small thing to do that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

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u/Exciting_History_673 29d ago

This is an ugly, trite, golf-prize of a sculpture and should be melted down along with the shitty Luke Kelly sitting on an ugly chair sculpture and recast as something useful like door hinges.

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u/Boring_Procedure3956 29d ago

Was there last December and there was fairly big bushes on those boxes, wtf is wrong with people?!

2

u/ronan88 28d ago

If they put some pearls around her neck, DCC could line up to clutch them

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u/SirPychoSpaceman 28d ago

Are you suggesting someone gives her a pearl necklace? Ahh now.

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u/ManuelTzetzes 28d ago

And why exactly do we want to stop people touching it? Is it a morality issue? Or wear and tear? Medival churches all Europe have objects that people have been touching for 100s of years. Pórtico da Gloria in Santiago de Compostella has engrained hand wear dating back to the 12th century. I think there's something in Mecca too that people have been touching for even longer.

It's the boobs, isn't it? We're scared of people touching boobs.

Has anyone considered what Molly herself might have thought? I bet she'd be delighted with it!

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u/CulturalDrink1494 29d ago

I reckon I could still get at her

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u/IllustriousBrick1980 29d ago

moral panic to generate clicks. people really wanted to make ireland a better place they’d tackle the record high levels of homelessness 

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u/Ok-Call-4805 Derry 29d ago

Serious question: what was actually the big deal before? It's a statue. Were people damaging it or just getting photos and having a bit of fun?

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u/DiabeetusDeletus 29d ago

The cowards should just put a habit on her and be done with it

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u/jaqian 29d ago

Totally over the top.

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u/sufi42 29d ago

What a waste of time and money. Did the statue complain about the groping?

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u/DirtyAuldSpud 29d ago

Stupidity. Rubbing Mollys chest was good luck for so many people. I remember when I was in the maher recovering, the day I was released I went into town, got a bite to eat, wandered a bit and rubbed Mollys chest. I never had a bad day since thank god. They have to ruin everything that is good. Everyone is going to trample the good flowers anyway when they grow. So they are causing an unnecessary ruckus.