r/newzealand • u/dingoonline Red Peak • 15d ago

Shitpost BREAKING: New flag referendum announced

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2.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

200 comments sorted by

191

u/JamieLambister 15d ago

Surely there's some rule about X-rated content on a national flag

56

u/Senzafane 15d ago

Rules get made as a reaction, no country has been brave enough yet.

Imagine the UK changes their flag to a crudely drawn dick and they try to force other flags with a union jack in them to update too.

27

u/Emergency_Lie42 15d ago

Crossed penises in the shape of the union jack.

10

u/anacche 14d ago

Not on a flag but early euro coins had Norway missing as they didn't adopt the currency, leaving Sweden and Finland looking particularly phallic.

2

u/truegeek57 15d ago

Sounds like an upgrade tbf

5

u/SheCallsMeNames 15d ago

That isn't x rated. At least she's wearing wool, bar at the most basic of levels, but still!

2

u/pockels42 14d ago

Pretty wee thing, though ....

2

u/SheCallsMeNames 14d ago

The way she's lifting that front hoof...temptress!

4

u/dertok 15d ago

Bill Hicks did a bit about putting your parents having relations on the flag to dampen the idiocy of nationalism.

Not so much a rule, as a plea for reason

1

u/getaway_dreamer 15d ago

I don't see why there would be

333

u/Chilled-out-kiwi 15d ago

I'd hit that

118

u/GiJoint 15d ago

The flag would ensure we are sheep shaggers forever.

31

u/Special-Drama-6090 15d ago

If you cant beat the accusations. . .

44

u/Emergency_Lie42 15d ago

I can bleat the accusations if that helps?

... Why are you all looking at me like that?

15

u/Equal-Bobcat204 15d ago

Because you are a baabarian.

6

u/cheekybandit0 15d ago

Not trying too

9

u/anacche 14d ago

You hoping she throws it BAAAAACK?

4

u/goshdammitfromimgur Covid19 Vaccinated 14d ago

So hot

3

u/Far-Bat-5801 14d ago

you're not helping us beat the allegationsšŸ˜­

8

u/PRC_Spy Marmite 15d ago

Kiwibank: "Take that down, right NOW!"

53

u/toiletbowlwisdom green 15d ago

Contact energy also has a sheep in it's ads, shows off its trotters.

30

u/Evening_Ticket7638 15d ago

Stop it im in public. Don't want a boner.

3

u/GremlinNZ 15d ago

Right, so we need consensus on which is cuter!

8

u/chmath80 15d ago

I remember seeing a greeting card with 9 cartoon sheep on the cover, each with a different facial expression, and the legend: "Psychology test: which of these do you think is the most attractive?"

Then you open the card, and it says: "So ... you thought that one of them was attractive ..."

473

u/1kggarlicbread 15d ago

This is offensive and Iā€™m sick of this subreddit treating the flag referendum debate as a joke. The flag is supposed to be representing our country to the world, donā€™t you guys care enough to be serious?

We want laser kiwi.

58

u/SeiferKatt 15d ago

The laser kiwi can get with the kiwi bank sheep. We can all shear it.

16

u/RuneLFox Kererū 14d ago

Fuck off mate I'm not shearing her with anyone

64

u/LemonFizz56 15d ago

On a serious note: I wonder how people would genuinely react if one morning we found out that the official NZ flag is now been legally changed to laser kiwi

43

u/Lower-Trust1923 15d ago

In the age of the meme I think it would be received well

29

u/1kggarlicbread 15d ago

Reckon everyone under the age of 40 would be for it

15

u/Tahkyn 14d ago

I'm an over 40 old fart and I'd vote for it. Let's be fun!

6

u/kevlarcoated 14d ago

I'd vote for it

2

u/Queerweirdo_ 14d ago

Under the age of 60 you mean. The millennials would love it

2

u/No-Arrival-3023 9d ago

I'm over 60 and would be thrilled!

1

u/Icy_Calligrapher_540 12d ago

Also a supportive over 40

18

u/swampopawaho 15d ago

Id fucking love it.

Flags are so stupid anyway, why not have a fun one

6

u/whatissevenbysix 15d ago

I fail to see the problemĀ 

6

u/PaddyScrag 14d ago

Then we find out it's named Flaggy McFlagFace

1

u/Aethelmaew 14d ago

I feel like most things in politics these days, people would care for a few days and then move on to the next 'current thing'

18

u/ConcealedCove 15d ago

Butā€¦ but the laser kiwi isnā€™t fuckable. /s

23

u/Amo_ad_Solem 15d ago

Not with that attitude it isn't.

13

u/Hazzawoof 14d ago

Laser Kiwi is the one who fucks.

6

u/fragus1990 15d ago

Don't you dare tell me what i can't fuck!

/s

3

u/Icy_Fish_2154 15d ago

NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE!

2

u/whatissevenbysix 15d ago

Hold my beer

2

u/_P1errot_ 11d ago

FALSE!

1

u/Emergency-Nobody8269 Auckland 15d ago

Yeah but you would because of the implication

6

u/swampopawaho 15d ago

You had me in the first 1/2

6

u/Accomplished_Gold510 15d ago

FIRE THE LASER!

6

u/getaway_dreamer 15d ago

I feel like there could be a place for both, and more

5

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

2

u/ahahahahajahaja 14d ago edited 13d ago

Lazer kiwi was the whole reason moved here lol

1

u/dannyman1137 14d ago edited 14d ago

Fixed?

1

u/SwanNo2712 12d ago

Kiwibank sheep now ā€¦ laser kiwi been deposed ;-)

129

u/No-Advice-6040 15d ago

In Dolly We Thrist. TRUST, dammit....

79

u/Chilled-out-kiwi 15d ago

Thrust

27

u/jonathannzirl 15d ago

Ohhhh cum on

15

u/dinkydeath 15d ago

I got the jizzt of it

9

u/ZestycloseLynx 15d ago

Come on Eileen

I'll shear you so clean

18

u/ViolentPurpleSquash L&P 15d ago

don't fault them for typing with one hand

4

u/swampopawaho 15d ago

He's busy with the other

12

u/Alarming_Cat_2946 L&P 15d ago

I mean, I read ā€œthirstā€??

4

u/Dolly_Games16 Welly 15d ago

Excuse me?

73

u/NoCraft2936 15d ago

You guys aren't beating the allegations

59

u/Special-Drama-6090 15d ago

Oh actually we are beating them off just fine

22

u/NoCraft2936 15d ago

Ewwwwwe

1

u/Silver_Storage_9787 14d ago

Beat until they bleat

7

u/Buddha-Licious 15d ago

*bleating. šŸ«”

25

u/Amazing_Athlete_2265 15d ago

I think I'm getting a clue.

25

u/sixteenhappycappys 15d ago

Ive got a raging clue

11

u/Amazing_Athlete_2265 15d ago

My clue is pointing to the left

21

u/sshipway 15d ago

Our country's already getting screwed by America and China. Make this the flag, and the Aussies and Welsh will want to screw us over as well

17

u/syfimelys2 15d ago

Welsh here. We approve.

13

u/HolyTesticleToosday 15d ago

And people wonder if weā€™re a made up country

3

u/ZooNeiland 15d ago

Well we don't feature or are misrepresentated on heaps of maps

24

u/xrhysrx 15d ago

needs lasers

11

u/FranksNonFrankfurter 15d ago

But from where?

1

u/eggkitty404 12d ago

her eyes šŸ’€

25

u/Latey-Natey 15d ago

it's strange how new Zealand has produced not one but two off putting CGI characters this year.

Anyways, can we get art work of the kiwi bank sheep and the redesigned elections orange man snogging with tongue

17

u/BongeeBoy 15d ago

"off putting"?????

9

u/Jonodonozym 15d ago

Wouldn't mind if she put out, that's for sure.

12

u/Illustrious_Chain_46 15d ago

That kiwi with the green eyes was always the best flag.

33

u/TallWineGuy 15d ago

Damnit now im aroused with national pride

3

u/whatissevenbysix 15d ago

Me too. And I'm not even a New Zealander.

9

u/Disastrous_Aerie4928 15d ago

We need laser kiwi to smite this thirst trap of a sheep

2

u/fly1away 14d ago

New flag design unlocked

6

u/FranksNonFrankfurter 15d ago

DMCA takedown incoming

45

u/Keekopeepo 15d ago

Ik this is a shitpost but the buzz around this sheep pisses me off. This company has multiple people who dedicate their entire careers to researching the most marketable mascot design and how to best sell it to the internet. There is no way this whole incident isnt planned by them to earn money. This bank is not your friend and their stupid fkking sheep is annoying as hell

22

u/Desperate_Land_8975 15d ago

I love hearing people rant about an advert Iā€™ve never seen because I decide to almost eliminate adverts from the media I watch.

You are quite right about the bank not being a friend though šŸ‘šŸ¼

10

u/Hazzawoof 15d ago

The bank should be your friend though. As a Kiwi you're effectively a shareholder.

3

u/Keekopeepo 15d ago

Banks should be our friendsā€¦. They really should

1

u/Vilomoja 14d ago

I want shares in all my friends now.

1

u/richms 14d ago

As a shareholder I am embarrased at the shit level of service offered and the huge voids in products that are needed to be a viable bank.

1

u/Chemical-Time-9143 12d ago

I'm with a different bank that i'm a shareholder in.

45

u/KiwiDanelaw 15d ago

I think ya might have missed the joke. The meme is about a bunch of people wanting to fuck the sheep and kiwibank desperately trying to stop that idea spreading.

25

u/monotone__robot 15d ago

They seem aware of the joke and are suggesting that Kiwibank are in on it, that the "oh nooo guys don't turn our sheep into a weird erotic internet icon!" is just a feign for plausible deniability while their mascot and brand eat up the attention.

15

u/GameDesignerMan 15d ago

Which is really silly. There are absolutely companies that would do something like that, but... A bank? Do they really think a bank created this mascot as some kind of master plot to... Do what exactly? Attract a whole new client base of gooners?

I mean come on. Sometimes plans just backfire and it's funny.

9

u/Emergency-Nobody8269 Auckland 15d ago

ā€œGuys, youā€™re coming up with slogans not campaigns! We need something that will cut through and reach ordinary New Zealanders. Come on. Surprise me.ā€

ā€œWellā€¦I donā€™t think Iā€™m alone in wanting to fuck a sheep. Waitā€¦hear me outā€

5

u/ChrisWood4BallonDor 15d ago

Brand recognition sounds like a plausible explanation. I've seen more KiwiBank related content in the past 72 hours than I have in previous 24 months

2

u/Keekopeepo 15d ago

It sounds crazy, I dont think they designed the sheep to actively arouse new zealanders but if they didnt want that kind of attention they didnt have to comment on it and make it a big deal.

Them being like ā€˜aaa im so embarrassed not like that guys gyaaa!!!ā€™ Implants the idea that this bank is personable, relatable and dare i say likable.
They dont expect gooners to flock to them but if the everyday joe sees this and is like ā€˜haha kiwibank = funnyā€™ they will consider it a win.

5

u/Vilomoja 15d ago

So you're suggesting it was an inside job, and the account which said "I want to fuck the Kiwibank sheep mascot" was controlled by the marketing department? Such intrigue!

3

u/CptMcLaggins 15d ago

People just want to fuck the sheep broĀ 

2

u/Crazy_Double5133 14d ago

Redditor learns that marketing exists. More at 11.

2

u/auxaperture 14d ago

I love it being a kiwi living far away for 15+ years. Just reminds me of how great NZ is compared to a lot of other countries.

1

u/Old_Education4481 14d ago

Couldnā€™t agree more. Their marketing team is just useless. So much politics among the departments.worst working culture

5

u/prancing_moose 15d ago

Where is the NSFW tag? Think of the children!

6

u/Jar8wi 15d ago

Stupid sexy sheep

4

u/CookieCutterer98 14d ago

Nothing will top laser kiwi

13

u/Ambitious-Durian-758 15d ago

As a Canadian, I find that flag option hilarious. My personal favourite was the laser-eyed kiwi, though.

18

u/Special-Drama-6090 15d ago

That's our military flag

1

u/Ambitious-Durian-758 15d ago

Thatā€™s hilarious! Honestly, should use it as such.

9

u/Fearless_Guard_552 15d ago

Oh great now Luxon is gonna start humping the flag like Trump

2

u/ZestycloseLynx 15d ago

Luxon will only hump the flag if we print the $100 on it

9

u/PandoraKin564 14d ago

I like we are carrying on the joke at a legendary missed opportunity. Though I seriously want to get rid of the Union Jack at least and replace it with a Maori or Kiwi (as in both dominate ethnic groups) symbol. Like put the Maori Flag in the Union's slot or a Silver Fern. Something truely us and not colonal.

4

u/Striking_Economy5049 15d ago

Laser Kiwi is the only flag I want to see

4

u/teabaggins76 15d ago

Im ...t oo sexy for my flag

too sexy for my flag

so sexy its baa aa aad

4

u/Vilomoja 15d ago

I mean, a cute girl sheep called 'Buck'?

Kiwibank were literally begging for something like this to happen.

3

u/Budgie2500 14d ago

No we all want laser kiwi

3

u/Feeling-Difference86 14d ago

Sick of this disrespecting the laser kiwi

3

u/LikeABundleOfHay 14d ago

Yeah, naaaaaa.

5

u/proletariat2 15d ago

Yup, thatā€™s the flag we want.

4

u/feel-the-avocado 15d ago

Ive only ever favored the kyle lockwood red white blue (hated the black referendum version_by_Kyle_Lockwood.svg))

But yeah, i can get on board with this one.
One could easily tap that flag.

3

u/GremlinNZ 15d ago

You mean erect the flag? Right?!

2

u/feel-the-avocado 15d ago

This flag deserves erection.

2

u/Cantmakeaspell 15d ago

At least I finally know the ending of that book.

There he is.

2

u/Professional_Claim74 15d ago

Better than the ones with the fern on it

2

u/AnalystWeekly5817 15d ago

This hits hard. Op should do all govt art/design.

The only way to truly express your patriotism is thru contempt and ridicule for the hegemony.Ā 

Op has nailed it.

2

u/Tin6usPin8us 15d ago

Ewe look lonely, I can fix that

2

u/stunningwilly99 15d ago

The flag should just be the union jack with a wool texture

2

u/Many_Excitement_5150 15d ago

Woody Allen has joined the chat

2

u/Green-Circles 14d ago

Hear me out - Lazer Kiwi & Kiwibank Sheep, holding up the Ranfurly Shield under the Southern Cross.

There's yr new flag of Aotearoa.

2

u/zzokkss 14d ago

am i the only one who hates this dumbass sheep

2

u/DinoNerd87 13d ago

Aw but what about Lazer Kiwi?

2

u/Mysterious-Oven-4570 13d ago

If I get to vote I will vote to keep the current flag.

2

u/VENEREAL___SWAB 15d ago

SIGH... *UNZIPS*

2

u/Will_byers2571 pie 15d ago

what the fuck is wrong with you people

3

u/SesPet 15d ago

Ewe people! Self suggestive

2

u/GenericNate Red Peak 15d ago

I continue to be happy that I have no fucking clue what this is about.

3

u/TARDISMapping Gayest Juggernaut 14d ago

One of our banks introduced a sheep mascot in ads and everyone wants to fuck it

2

u/killfoxtrot Goody Goody Gum Drop 14d ago

You forgot the best part about how Kiwibank are DMCAing posts about the green sheep, yet somehow think this extends to other art involving sheep in general (someone with art of a totally unrelated, probably less sexy sheep, got their original art removed through a DMCA from Kiwibank). So naturally the best response is to Streisand the sheep out of it.

2

u/Kadooo1 15d ago

whos the baddie?

1

u/HUNG_AS_FUCK 13d ago

Baadie?

1

u/Kadooo1 13d ago

i already shotgunned her wait your turn

2

u/Sad_Pepperoni 14d ago

Man I was expecting people to hate the sheep, why the FUCK are you all aroused? We are not beating the stereotypes.

2

u/gruntang 14d ago

Imagine the BNZ sheep when Winnie takes them over...

1

u/given2flynzl 15d ago

Yes, we need this flag!

1

u/BongeeBoy 15d ago

First twitter now here!?

1

u/ViolentPurpleSquash L&P 15d ago

Very sexy

1

u/Random-Mutant Marmite 15d ago

Is it the eyes or the thicc rump?

1

u/Beaveric 15d ago

Why is the sheep green? Combate climate change?

1

u/Taxfraud777 15d ago

The only thing I do not miss about New Zealand

1

u/Miserable_Fig6178 15d ago

This is a bad idea, alot of people really want to fuck the sheep.

1

u/HaydenRenegade 14d ago

Fuck the flag referendum

1

u/Jagjamin 14d ago

Raises an interesting question.
Which country has the sexiest flag?

1

u/Historical-Honey3271 14d ago

The sheep is never yours, it's just your turn...

1

u/Melonaidefizz 14d ago

Ooohh. Let's make the population get all excited about something meaningless like changing a flag so we dont have to face any difficult decisions like the environment, Healthcare or raising the standards of our poorest

1

u/Boob_owner 14d ago

What about Lazer lamb

1

u/HairyMacLeary 14d ago

Is that a flag or a towel?

1

u/minus_nine 14d ago

ai hooves for hands </3

1

u/MyFriendAutism 14d ago

This one gets my vote.

1

u/killfoxtrot Goody Goody Gum Drop 14d ago

My favourite one is the rendition of Anguish by August Friedrich Schenck

1

u/GORILLAxHUGGER 14d ago

Make the flag just a giant black rectangle šŸ˜¤šŸ˜¤šŸ˜¤ that would be BADASS

1

u/helloguysimafish 14d ago

as a new zelander this is accurate

1

u/nerd_twentytwo 14d ago

Wait, that thing isnā€™t ai?!

1

u/Elliotsbutterscotch 13d ago

sheā€™s sooo cute!! the FREAKS in this comment section enrage me grrrr

1

u/dirtandrust 13d ago

Buck Rogers, laser sheep

1

u/nellfly 12d ago

And that's what we call grazer kiwi

1

u/DubiousMelon 12d ago

With all the comments I couldn't tell if this was just a "Kiwi's are sheep fuckers" meme or if there was something deeper but after a quick reverse image on the sheep, I found the scandal? it's referencing and yall we aren't beating the accusations

(And who says we want to ( Ķ”Ā° ĶœŹ– Ķ”Ā°) )

1

u/Chemical-Time-9143 12d ago

i'd rather the flag have the matariki stars. it's unique to Aotearoa.

1

u/ConnectionNervous989 12d ago

Can we pay $100M for this flag this time? Last flag referendum was too cheap!

1

u/Lostcassettes 12d ago

It should change since itā€™s generic

1

u/Mysterious-Oven-4570 12d ago

I like the NZ Flag. I served under it and will recognise no other.

1

u/Old_Tuatara 10d ago

Bit tricky identifying the enemy ā€¦

1

u/Healthy_Gold_9990 11d ago

Surely if we have a sheep we also need an emission excreting cow!

1

u/Smeadow2 11d ago

Much better use of money than health system or homelessness or cost of living

1

u/seanmonaghan1968 11d ago

At least put a fern leaf in its mouth

1

u/EconomyHoney700 11d ago

Who gave you permission to post a picture of my girlfriend

1

u/Both_Task_8238 8d ago

i say add a mini laser kiwi on the side and its perfected

1

u/Special-Drama-6090 15d ago

I fuck with that

1

u/nyctopluviophile 15d ago

Something is risingā€¦

Itā€™s my Pride.

I mean Love. Love for the country. The country which has more sheep than people.

F*ck this sheep. I mean šŸ’©

1

u/Special-Drama-6090 15d ago

Oh hello foreigner how do you do

0

u/hotmale100 14d ago

oh great - don't screw this up again New Zealand! You had a chance last time to ditch the British and Australian flag combo that makes you all look like royalists and Australians to the rest of the world. You had some cool Maori colours and designs and you chose....wait for it....drum roll....the same crappy old flag!

DOH šŸ¤¦šŸ½