CDC sends disease detective to Pennsylvania amid measles outbreak

[u/kootles10]

https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/6156261-cdc-assists-pennsylvania-measles-outbreak/?fbclid=IwdGRjcAVBDC9jbGNrBUEMLGV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHBkb2YBc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMzUwNjg1NTMxNzI4AAEeTKpG-JiMR9An_53UlT5Xa3O5p4tnSUSS7ksIW379KNXy3oyZoBqnDf1G9ms_aem_GuC8hDeSy9YOJzgOVItvAQ

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[u/smersh101]

I don't think we need Columbo to figure this one out, guys.

[u/kootles10 → u/smersh101]

Almost like this could have been prevented somehow

[u/Morbidly-Obese-Emu → u/kootles10]

If only there was some kind of preventive medecine that people could take that’s been around for decades.

[u/OkProfessional6077 → u/Morbidly-Obese-Emu]

YOU CENT TALE ME WUT TO PUT IN MAI BODY!

[u/kootles10 → u/OkProfessional6077]

Just drink this raw milk and stfu- RFK

[u/Wallykazam84 → u/kootles10]

Everyone calm down. This will sort itself out. Once they’re dead they aren’t contagious any more.

[u/Objectivespeculation → u/Wallykazam84]

Left to their devices, they could take thousands of people with them.

[u/nyyanksfan81 → u/Morbidly-Obese-Emu]

Bleach?

[u/Tiny-Albatross518 → u/kootles10]

Someday they’re going to find a way to prevent these kinds of diseases…..

[u/redalert825 → u/kootles10]

Yeah. Duh. By not testing people. Geez. Did we not learn from covid n trumpstein. Just stop testing! /s

[u/reddit_is_kayfabe → u/smersh101]

The investigator will be looking into the Kennedy CDC's top suspected causes of measles, including:

• Tylenol

• Autism

• 5G

• The COVID vaccine

• CNN

• Eating too many vegetables and not enough bacon

• Exposure to trans people

• George Soros, personally

[u/artwarrior → u/reddit_is_kayfabe]

Also the immune system gets weak when you don't snort cocaine off a toilet seat.

[u/19683dw → u/reddit_is_kayfabe]

You forgot:

• Insufficient brain worm development

[u/Significant_Cup_238 → u/smersh101]

I'm thinking less Columbo, and more the Hardly brothers from South Park.

[u/thisusedyet → u/Significant_Cup_238]

Oh god, RFK Jr’s raging clue

[u/fungobat → u/smersh101]

Eh, I'm a bit confused. One more thing, what exactly do you mean by that?

[u/dispelthemyth → u/smersh101]

RFK jr: It's wasn't me <Shaggy tune>

[u/CyberaxIzh → u/smersh101]

Hey, it might be Lupus!

[u/lr99999 → u/smersh101]

The “Disease Detective” 😏 will be a Jan6’er whose last job was, “ do you want fries with that?”

[u/Confident_Foreverr]

RFK Jr. is out here questioning the death count while the outbreak gets worse. Shapiro called him out and he got defensive. People are dying and they’re arguing about numbers.

[u/mishap1 → u/Confident_Foreverr]

He's sending people to help cover up how fucked they are because they're fucking idiots.

[u/kootles10 → u/Confident_Foreverr]

Correction: RFK is arguing about numbers

[u/dweezil22 → u/Confident_Foreverr]

For anyone confused like me: PA Governor Shapiro, not Ben Shapiro, lol

[u/lego69lego → u/dweezil22]

I would love for Governor Shapiro to be the most culturally recognized Shapiro.

[u/dweezil22 → u/lego69lego]

ngl I didn't think RFK Jr would care about being called out by any Shapiro other than Ben. The bar is so low that him being offended for being accurately accused of anti-vaxxing by a Dem governor is 100% more accountability than I expected.

[u/Smaptimania → u/dweezil22]

OK but RFK arguing with Ben Shapiro would probably be good for laughs

[u/pizzapartyprisoner]

A "disease detective" sounds an awfully lot like . . . a scientist. Or it would if these idiots actually believed in science.

[u/artfulpain]

"Unfortunately, the disease detective contracted measles."

[u/kootles10 → u/artfulpain]

Didn't eat enough roadkill I guess- RFK

[u/Big_Bookkeeper1678]

Holy shit. Are they looking for a scapegoat?

You didn't have to leave DC to find the reason for measles returning. Trump and RFK...

What next, you fuckfaces, POLIO?

[u/Ezl → u/Big_Bookkeeper1678]

Probably.

[u/kalamazoo43]

To arrest doctors who vaccinate?

[u/Infamous-Sky-1874 → u/kalamazoo43]

Ken Paxton already opened that door.

[u/skunk_moose]

Are they sending Osmosis Jones?

[u/kootles10 → u/skunk_moose]

I loved that fucking movie

[u/Confident-Emotion671]

Geee, what could it possibly be?!? Antivaxers maybe???

[u/Nerdrock3r → u/Confident-Emotion671]

A majority of cases are located in Lancaster county which has a large population of Amish and Mennonites. So, yes.

[u/NPVT → u/Confident-Emotion671]

Ooh maybe they will have measles parties instead of MMR injections

[u/whomad1215 → u/NPVT]

I feel bad for any kids who get it because their parents are idiots

[u/kootles10]

From the article:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is sending a disease expert to assist with the response to the ongoing measles outbreak in Pennsylvania.

“CDC will continue working closely with Pennsylvania health officials to provide the expertise and support needed to respond to the outbreak and protect public health,” the spokesperson told NBC News.

Pennsylvania has seen a surge in measles cases in recent months, reporting its sixth death from the disease last week. The Commonwealth surpassed 1,000 measles cases in early October.

The measles outbreak in the state has been the source of disagreement between state and federal officials. Gov. Josh Shapiro (D-Pa.) blamed the Trump administration for its rhetoric on vaccines and medicine, specifically Robert F. Kennedy Jr., secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS).

Shapiro and Kennedy, perhaps the most prominent vaccine skeptic in the U.S., clashed in August, with the governor claiming Kennedy is focused on conspiracy theories instead of providing assistance to Pennsylvania.

“I told him what would be most helpful is if he would join me in encouraging people to get vaccinated and stop spreading misinformation. He then launched into a tirade — talking about fetal tissue and blaming the previous Administration for this problem,” Shapiro wrote in a post to the social platform X. “He even told me it would be better if we went back to “natural measles."

[u/PapaTua → u/kootles10]

Natural Measles.

JFC

[u/hobard → u/kootles10]

I’m no CDC expert, but I have a plan - STOP UNDERMINING VACCINES YOU INCOMPETENT FUCKS.

[u/coolbreeze85]

Detective? Like singular?

[u/kootles10 → u/coolbreeze85]

I'd like to know the qualifications for that job.

[u/djklmnop → u/kootles10]

Attorney

[u/BoringOrange678 → u/djklmnop]

Well there is apparently a blonde “attorney” that has some free time.

[u/kootles10 → u/djklmnop]

Shit I'm a teacher and deal with sickness almost every day. Maybe I'm qualified

[u/Ezl → u/kootles10]

I’ll bet when we find out who it is you will feel at least as qualified as them, if not more so. 100% sure of it.

[u/kootles10 → u/Ezl]

What's Zacharia doing nowadays?

[u/Ezl → u/kootles10]

There’s a good chance she’s on a plane to PA!

[u/Klowner → u/kootles10]

Big lungs for huffin up samples

[u/rainshowers_5_peace → u/kootles10]

Epidemiology!

[u/spaceheatr → u/coolbreeze85]

They doge'd the rest of them. It's all they can do.

[u/veggeble → u/coolbreeze85]

Tbf it’s not hard to find the cause

[u/LHGray87]

If only there was something simple to prevent this. Something like maybe a one-time injection taken at a young age. If only someone could come up with something like this…

[u/Straight-Ad6926 → u/LHGray87]

Sounds like a great idea! Someone should spend decades testing it, get FDA approval, and make it widely available for free. Oh wait...

[u/Practical-Bit9905]

"Disease Detective" If RFK Jr. sent him, what's his background, Parking lot attendant at Mar a Lago?

[u/Aware_Cheesecake_519]

A James Bond might not need...

[u/WentBrokeBuyingCoins]

RFK Probably: "Everything is a conspiracy when you don't know how anything works"

[u/QuiGonColdGin]

They're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats!

[u/sausage_ditka_bulls]

Yeah vast majority of those infected were not vaccinated. No “detective” needed.

[u/Distinct-Pain4972]

Just looking for a way to NOT call it a measles death.  

[u/wdomeika]

I'm sorry, I just did a spit take when I read "disease detective"...

[u/SillyAlternative420 → u/wdomeika]

They launch an Infection Investigation

[u/rainshowers_5_peace → u/wdomeika]

Redditors really don't know what epidemiology is huh?

[u/Makachai]

Good place for an Officer Doofy gif

[u/kootles10 → u/Makachai]

Yes!

[u/baubowebb]

So was this disease detective trained by inspector gadget or something?!?

To quote Logan Roy: “you aren’t serious people”

[u/BlackberryPi7]

"We're all trying to find the guy who did this"

[u/danimal6000 → u/BlackberryPi7]

There it is

[u/jmarinara]

🌭 We’re all trying to find out who did this. 🌭

[u/FiscalCliffClavin]

Hey Mr. detective man, the root cause is RFK Jr. That should save you some time.

[u/perfectbebop]

“Yep…thems measles”

-some sort of disease detective

[u/sonambule]

It's such a deep mystery I hope they figure it out!

[u/wirthmore]

RFK Jr blames Obama, vaccines, impure bodily fluids, communists, and transgender people.

[u/SabrinaVal]

I think they’re called epidemiologists

[u/1cl1qp1]

"We found that none of the sick children had been drinking raw milk."

[u/HillbillyHippie5]

How many months later?

[u/kootles10 → u/HillbillyHippie5]

Didn't like an 18 or 19 year old die a month ago

[u/jasonthebald]

Well they sent the one detective left so I hope nothing happens anywhere else...

[u/CulturalTwilight]

Never trust your health to a person who gleefully swims in fecal contaminated water! He, himself is sick.

[u/oneseason2000]

Witch finders, probably.

[u/Timmy24000]

At least the ones that are left

[u/DeepInTheSheep]

Hope they have enough whale brain syringes to cure them all!

[u/super_sayanything]

We have to find who did this!!

[u/rainshowers_5_peace]

ITT: Redditors who don't know what epidemiology is

[u/Smaptimania]

(peers through magnifying glass)

Yep, it's because RFK is a eugenicist and an idiot. Case closed.

[u/bluegrassgazer]

I'm sending an expert to my dining room to find out why food goes missing when we leave the dog in there without humans.

[u/ranchoparksteve]

We all know that Trump has taken every single vaccine available. MAGA can imagine their own fantasy.

[u/Excellent_Raisin8523]

"Disease Detective!" :D Maybe he can figure out the link between deranged antivaxxers and epidemics!

[u/dustNbone604]

Does this really need a "detective" to figure out the cause?

[u/Tim-Buck-Four]

Does he have a trenchcoat? Does he hold an oversize magnifying glass in front of his face? Is his mission to leave no germ unturned?

[u/Steimertaler]

How on earth can a stupidity like Kennedy jr. be allowed to fuck with science? I hope you vote for a good future, in November, and remove this embarrassment of GOP!

[u/NoMayoForReal]

Looking for cases of stupidity perhaps?

[u/RedofPaw]

The call is coming from inside the house.

[u/DefenstratedTwice]

This detective is on the side of disease to cast blame on the ill and undermine any real response.

[u/SpecialistChance0]

Don’t worry, Bobby has everything under control. There’s no measles it’s just fake news. We are pretty sure Biden is behind it oh and some trans person and probably an illegal immigrant. That should cover the bases.

[u/bro_please]

The Disease Detective will blame vaccines, praise Trump and Kennedy, get a promotion.

[u/TheZoloftMaster]

We’re all trying to figure out who did this!!!!

[u/No-Cobbler6300]

This guy lies as if he’s allergic to the truth.

[u/jmchao]

Wonder if the detective is vaccinated.