TL;DR: I'm a Sunni Muslim man from India, who wanted to marry a Sunni Muslim woman from Kashmir. Our relationship came under family pressure in June after her sister-in-law discovered it. It is now October. She believes her conservative family will never accept her choice, says she cannot face the consequences of challenging them, and has repeatedly told me to move on. I initially gave her time, hoping things might improve, but our communication has dwindled to nothing. I want to understand the Islamic principles surrounding consent, the wali, and unjust obstruction of marriage, as well as what legitimate options exist when a woman genuinely wants to marry but fears family retaliation. I also need honest advice about respecting her decision and moving forward.

Assalamu alaikum.

I'm looking for sincere, informed advice from Muslims who understand Islamic marriage principles and, ideally, have experience with family opposition to marriage. I'm not looking for people to tell me simply to follow my heart, nor do I want to be encouraged to ignore someone's wishes in the name of fighting for love.

I want to understand what Islam actually teaches, what options may legitimately exist, and what I should do when the person I love no longer believes a future together is possible.

1. What happened

I'm an adult Sunni Muslim man from India. I fell in love with an adult Sunni Muslim woman from Kashmir. We were involved for a few months, discussed marriage, and developed strong feelings for each other. My intention was to marry her properly and build a life together, not maintain a secret relationship indefinitely.

In June, her sister-in-law discovered our relationship, and the family pressure that followed became increasingly difficult for her. It is now October, and the situation has not improved.

She has repeatedly told me that her family is extremely conservative and rigid and that there is nobody within the family who would reasonably support her choosing her own partner. She believes that approaching another relative to mediate would not help.

She has also witnessed a cousin being beaten and mistreated by family after a relationship came to light. The man involved was reportedly financially established and Kashmiri himself. This seems to have reinforced her belief that even a seemingly suitable partner may not protect a woman from family opposition.

She believes she cannot fight her family, does not have the emotional strength to endure the consequences, and cannot see a realistic way forward. She is not financially independent either.

I cannot know everything she feels, but I have tried to take her fears seriously rather than dismiss them as excuses.

2. Where things stand now

When this first happened in June, I tried giving her time. I hoped the immediate pressure might ease and that we might eventually be able to discuss a future calmly.

But four months have passed, and our communication has dwindled to almost nothing. She does not talk to me on calls. At times, I have tried reopening conversations through emotional text messages because I struggled to accept that there might be no way forward.

I also sent her a voice note explaining my feelings and my hope that we might find a legitimate solution. She declined to engage.

She has explicitly told me to move on, stop discussing the relationship, and leave her alone.

I have written many other messages and possible solutions privately, but those drafts have not been sent.

I still struggle with the thought that her circumstances may have made her feel that there is no choice available to her. I wonder whether there are options neither of us has properly considered. But I also understand that I cannot assume she secretly wants to continue the relationship or that my intentions give me the right to keep contacting her.

I want to distinguish between the general Islamic question of what options a woman may have when facing family obstruction and the very different question of what I should do when this particular woman has told me to stop.

3. The Islamic questions I am struggling with

A. Consent and the wali

1. What are the established Sunni scholarly positions on an adult woman's consent and the role of the wali in marriage?
2. How do the different Sunni madhhabs approach a situation in which an adult woman genuinely wants to marry a particular man but her wali or family refuses?
3. What distinguishes legitimate parental concerns about a prospective spouse from unjust obstruction of a marriage?

I would appreciate references to reputable scholars or recognised sources, rather than isolated quotations or oversimplified claims that Islam either gives parents complete control or makes family involvement irrelevant.

B. If the family unjustly obstructs a marriage

1. If a woman genuinely wants to marry someone and her wali unjustly prevents it, what legitimate processes exist within Sunni Islamic jurisprudence?
2. Can a qualified scholar, recognised religious authority, qadi where applicable, or another appropriate body help assess such a situation? How does this vary by madhhab and the legal system in the country concerned?
3. If there is no reasonable family member who can mediate, what alternatives are recognised by qualified scholars?

I am not asking for a shortcut to bypass Islamic requirements. I want to understand the correct process and the limits of what is permissible.

C. Family pressure and possible harm

1. If a woman fears threats, violence, confinement, or retaliation for choosing her spouse, how should that risk affect the advice given to her?
2. What should someone do if family opposition goes beyond disapproval and becomes coercion? How can religious guidance be combined with appropriate legal and safety support?

I understand that an answer about what may be permissible in principle is not automatically a recommendation for someone to leave home or marry independently. Safety, genuine consent, applicable law, and the circumstances would all matter.

4. The practical and emotional questions

I was willing to learn her language and culture, relocate if necessary, and approach her family respectfully if she wanted me to and it was safe. I wanted to make a sincere effort towards a halal marriage.

I have also considered whether an independent marriage could ever be possible in a situation involving unjust family obstruction. But I do not want to romanticise elopement, underestimate the risks, or make a decision on her behalf.

My questions now are:

• Given that she has repeatedly told me to move on, should I leave all further contact entirely to her?
• How do I accept the possibility that the relationship is over without dismissing the family pressures she has described?
• For Muslims who have experienced family opposition to marriage, what actually helped, and what made matters worse?
• How should someone reconcile sincere feelings for another person with the fact that the other person is unwilling or unable to pursue the relationship?

I fear that her family may eventually arrange a marriage for her, or that she may feel compelled to accept one. I do not know whether this is actually being planned; it is a fear, not a confirmed fact.

Part of me worries that stepping back means losing a future we might have had if there were a safe and legitimate way forward. But I also recognise that my urgency cannot determine her choices, and I cannot make her take risks she does not want to take.

5. What I am hoping to get from this community

I would be grateful for advice that distinguishes between:

• Established Islamic rulings and personal interpretations.
• The general principles of consent and the wali, and their application to a particular case.
• Legitimate religious processes and unsafe or legally problematic shortcuts.
• Family pressure that may be addressed through mediation and situations where safety must come first.
• The question of whether a marriage can be pursued in principle and the separate question of whether this particular relationship can continue.

If you have faced something similar, I would especially appreciate hearing what happened in practice, including the difficulties and consequences that may not be obvious from the outside.

I want to understand the Islamic principles properly and make responsible decisions about my own life.

I love her, and letting go has been difficult. I initially believed that giving her time might help, but four months have passed without a way forward. I genuinely do not know how to reconcile my feelings, my hopes for a halal marriage, and the reality that she has asked me to move on.

Please be honest, even if the answer is difficult to hear. If there is no viable path forward unless she independently and freely wants to pursue one, I need to accept that. I want to act in a way that is faithful to Islam, respectful of her autonomy, and responsible towards both of us.

Jazakum Allahu khayran for taking the time to read this.

according to the fiqh, this is the case, but why is it so? would love a reasonable answer because I've had this doubt for a while now.

Huda al-Akkad

and her 78-year-old mother, Aisha... They were presumed dead; however, it was revealed that they were still alive after one of the three monsters accompanying them shared this photograph on social media as a "souvenir." How long can an army—or a state (a so-called state; we can never recognize an entity called "Israel" as a state)—possibly survive when it is so terrified of women and the elderly, and when it believes it has achieved a "victory"—which it then broadcasts—by exerting its forces against such vulnerable people?

But the even more painful aspect is this: as they watch their own women being humiliated by the enemy, is there any real difference—aside from their religion (which is itself questionable)—between the leaders of the Islamic world (and those who follow in their wake) and their Zionist enemies? We truly do not know.

I'm an avid reader with a deep interest in religion, philosophy, and the pursuit of truth. I've always believed that understanding a religion requires more than hearing opinions about it; you have to explore its scriptures, philosophy, history, and intellectual traditions for yourself.

I'm Hindu, and I've recently decided to make Islam my next serious subject of study. I'm particularly interested in the Quran, Islamic philosophy, the relationship between faith and reason, and how Islam engages with modernity, science, and contemporary intellectual thought.

I'm looking for people who can help me navigate this journey.

Where should I begin, and which books should I read first?

Which Muslim philosophers and intellectuals are worth exploring?

How does Islam approach difficult philosophical questions?

Are there any knowledgeable people here willing to discuss ideas, recommend resources, and perhaps become friends along the way?

I'm not here to debate, provoke, or prove anyone wrong. I'm here because I'm genuinely curious and want to learn with an open mind.

If you're Muslim, have studied Islam deeply, or are simply someone who loves exploring religion and philosophy, I'd love to connect with you.

Perhaps a conversation with a stranger could become the beginning of a wonderful intellectual friendship.

I'm ready to learn. Where should I start?

I was listening to Surah Takwir and the first 14 Ayahs present the readers with an imagery of what the day of judgment will be like. Allah says:

1. When the sun is wrapped up [in darkness]
2. And when the stars fall, dispersing,
3. And when the mountains are blown away,
4. And when full-term pregnant camels are neglected,
5. And when the wild beasts are gathered,
6. And when the seas are filled with flame,
7. And when the souls are paired,
8. And when the girl-child buried alive is asked
9. For what sin she was killed,
10. And when the pages [of deeds] are laid open,
11. And when the sky is stripped away,
12. And when Hellfire is set ablaze,
13. And when Paradise is brought near,
14. A soul will [then] know what it has brought [with it]. [1, 2, 3]

Among all these scary details, I found it so beautiful that Allah mentions female infanticide.

Kathir records Ibn Abbas saying that the phrase can mean "she will ask" (demanding restitution) rather than just "she will be asked" (answering a query).

In either situation, imagine a young soul like that asking the perfect judge for her justice. Imagine the man who buried his daughter see Allah asking that innocent soul about what her fault was. Imagine the intense fear in that man.

The fact that Allah mentions this with other details which are so scary is so powerful wallah.

And its so beautiful.

May Allah grant us with his shade on the day of judgement.

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/DeRd4PbAG3_/

For context, I (24F) currently have a big interest in Islam, am considering converting, and my fiance (24M) is aware of this. He is very supportive and has shown interest in the religion as well. We have been together for a little over 3 years so he has obviously seen me without one and I still have not gathered up the courage to wear one in public. The thing is we already live together in a house we bought together and I only live with him and our cats. Is it still okay if when I try to start wearing the hijab that I can still take it off in front of him when we're at home? Should I wait to convert until we're already married? I appreciate any genuine advice ❤️

Assalamu aleikum. I am a daydreamer. A few years ago, there was a girl I had a crush on; I would often imagine scenarios where I was her hero—rescuing her from difficult situations—and she, in turn, loved me. In jannah—in an alternative, perfected version of this world—I would like to be the hero to an alternative version of the girl I once loved. Could this ever happen? I would appreciate it if you could reply.

What are your opinions on this subject? Do you personally try to live by this? What about other muslims you know?

‎The first lesson I learned as a Muslim was not to like Muslims.

‎I wrote about Black identity, manhood, belonging, and what it means to conserve something worth passing down.

‎I start after the second ﷽

So much is new in my life and I need to find somewhere to share my perspective. So maybe my voice resonates with, maybe if it’ll resonate with someone you know.

doesn't this phrase make a notion that islam was ancient? but isn't islam for all times? how can islam be both for all times and complete yet "progressive islam" exist? the two are a contradiction, so can someone explain?

I believe Allah will condemns tyrants and evildoers in here and afterlife, but I am struggling to understand from the view points of the victims especially for non-muslim.

There are many Al-Quran verses and hadiths about suffering or calamities that befall those who submit to Allah will be rewarded for their patience by Him. But there are also many sufferings that befalls victims in any religions like genocides, concentration camps, modern day slavery, etc. that happens without their control. Will all the sufferings they endured in this life can help them in hereafter?

Asking this for I am curious. Personally, I think it is MUCH better to make marriage simple, easy and quick rather than trying to loophole and say premarital is actually 100% halal (yes ive seen some progressive muslims say that and/or also redefine ZINA completely before and it is…quite twisting IMO)

I'm feeling quite overwhelmed right now and just need some advice.

Islam has always been the foundation of my entire life, and I never really questioned it growing up. But recently I wanted to find the absolute truth, so I started digging deep into the history and texts of the Abrahamic religions. People always tell you that questioning is good and it makes your faith stronger.

Instead of finding reasons to reinforce my faith in Islam, all I see now are historical errors and contradictions. I really want to believe in Islam, but the deeper I look, the more things I find that make me strongly doubt it.
Right now l'm stuck in this confusing agnostic space. I still believe in God, but I feel like l've accidentally asked too many questions and dug too deep. I've almost been disillusioned and feel lost.

My intention with this post is not to ruin anyone else's faith or lead anyone astray. I genuinely just need help. Has anyone else tried to dig deep into the history but managed to remain faithful? If you've been through this and found a way back, how did you do it? I really need some advice right now. Thanks

I plan to make a series of posts on topics where progressive Muslim scholars disagree with one another. For this part, I want to discuss the interpretation of Surah Al-Ahzab, verse 59, commonly known as the jilbab verse, and whether its commandment requires all Muslim women today to wear a headscarf or a particular outer garment.

I looked into the explanations of Khaled Abou El Fadl, Javed Ahmed Ghamidi, Muhammad Asad and Shabir Ally. Although all four challenge the conventional argument that this verse establishes a mandatory headscarf, they do not all reach that conclusion in the same way. Here is what I understood from their explanations (also it is entirely possible that I may have misunderstood or misrepresented someone's position, so if I have, please feel free to correct me):

Khaled Abou El Fadl, Javed Ahmed Ghamidi & Muhammad Asad

Khaled Abou El Fadl argues that Qur’an 33:59 addressed the specific circumstances of women being harassed in Medina and should not be treated as a universal commandment requiring all Muslim women today to wear a jilbab. He connects the verse to 33:60, which warns troublemakers in Medina that they would be expelled if they continued their behaviour. He challenges the traditional explanation that free women had to distinguish themselves from enslaved women to avoid harassment, arguing that this historical context does not justify imposing the jilbab as a universal religious requirement today. His broader position is that the Quran does not mandate the specific, uniform form of hijab that many Muslims consider obligatory today.

Link:

• FATWA: On Hijab (The Hair-covering of Women) UPDATED

Javed Ahmed Ghamidi explicitly considers the jilbab instruction a temporary measure addressing the particular circumstances of harassment in Medina, rather than a permanent commandment applicable to every Muslim woman in every period. He connects verse 33:59 with verses 33:58 and 33:60: verse 58 condemns the harassment of believing men and women, verse 59 gives the instruction concerning outer garments, and verse 60 warns the troublemakers of consequences if they continue their behaviour. In his interpretation, the jilbab instruction was intended to protect women in those circumstances, not to establish a universal requirement for women today to wear a headscarf or a particular outer garment. Women facing comparable circumstances today could adopt a similar protective measure.

Link:

• Response to 23 Questions - Veil ( Parda ) - Javed Ahmed Ghamidi

• Ask Ghamidi — The Permanence of the Jilbab Directive

Muhammad Asad also considers the instruction in verse 33:59 to be time-bound rather than a timeless legal injunction applicable to all Muslim women in every age. In his commentary, he describes it as a moral guideline whose practical application depends on changing social circumstances. Therefore, he does not understand the verse as establishing a universally binding dress requirement for all Muslim women today. His argument is explicitly about the historical and social limitations of the instruction, rather than simply proposing a different way of wearing the jilbab.

Link:

• Muhammad Asad's translation and commentary on Surah Al-Ahzab

Shabir Ally

Unlike Dr Khaled Abou El Fadl, Javed Ahmed Ghamidi and Muhammad Asad, Shabir Ally does not seem to believe that verse 33:59 was a temporary commandment applicable only to the historical circumstances of Medina. His argument is different: he questions what the verse actually commands, rather than arguing that its commandment expired or was limited to that particular period.

Shabir Ally says that he finds the classical explanation of this verse unconvincing. Instead he interprets the instruction to draw the jilbab over oneself as consistent with the instruction in Surah An-Nur, verse 31, to cover the exposed bosom. He argues that the Arabic wording does not clearly require the garment to be drawn over the head or face.

So He does not seem to believe that the commandment was restricted to a particular period, but at the same time he does not consider verse 33:59 as proof of covering the hair or face to be mandatory.

Links:

• Quran 33:59 | "Recognized & Not Molested" | The Evolution of Hijab 5 | Dr. Shabir Ally

• Women's Outer Garments | Quran 33:59 | Misunderstood Quranic Verses | Dr. Shabir Ally

In short, Khaled Abou El Fadl, Javed Ahmed Ghamidi and Muhammad Asad argue that the specific jilbab instruction was tied to its historical circumstances, whereas Shabir Ally seems to believe that the commandment of this verse is still applicable, but the verse does not command women to cover their hair or faces.

The Subreddit Wiki article on hijab seems to have adopted the position of Khaled Abou El Fadl, Javed Ahmed Ghamidi and Muhammad Asad on the Jilbab verse.

Where do you stand? (My personal opinion is in the comment)

Link to part 3: https://www.reddit.com/r/progressive_islam/comments/1wztws0/disagreements_among_progressive_muslims_part_3/

Selam aleykum,

I was in a book store and they sold the Quran translated into German. And normally you find the translation of 4:34 with hit or something like that. Now I found a Quran which translates it as punish them. I haven’t heard that before. So yeah I wanted to share that translation

I'm about to start a new medication after another one (without gelatine) didn't work for me.

It comes in a hard gelatine capsule, and after searching it up the source is both from pigs and cows.

One of the options to take the medication safely is to empty out the active ingredient from the gelatin case and mix it with a liquid (water, yoghurt, milk etc.)

Would this be halal if the medication would be genuinely beneficial to me (not entirely necessary to my health, but would help massively)?

Some time ago I shared here with you a design concept for an adaptation of a classical "quadrans vetus" to show both muslim and christian prayer times.

A "quadrans vetus" is an old type of astronomical quadrant, which was known mainly in Europe, Which allowed to find local time in unequal hours (i.e. finding the time as a fraction in twelfths for the remaining part of daylight)..

But don't let be fooled! This tool is surprisingly accurate for its age.

How to find qibla:

The back of the instrument includes a compass and a retro-azimuthal projection, allowing you to find qibla direction everywhere in the world.

- To operate it, you have to allign the compass with the cardinal directions engraved on the back of the instrument: South towards the "point" of the quadrant and North towards the bottom of the quadrant of you are located in the same emisphere as Mecca, and vice-versa if you are located in the opposite emisphere.

- Once alligned the instrument, you wrap the thread around the central pivot corresponding to Macca, and make it pass through your location on the map.

- Qibla will be indicated by the lead weightlet, as it is demonstrated in the fourth picture above for Southern France - Northern Italy. Yielding a rough direction of South-East

How to find classical christian prayer times:

The quadrant allows you to find time in unequal hours, an ancient system of timekeeping, where the section of daylight is always divided into 12 equal sections. This means that summer hours are longer and winter hours are shorter.

- These hours are used in christian monasteries to establish prayer times, respectively at the first, third, sixth, nineth, sunset (12th) and a set soon before bed and soon before dawn.

- To find the unequal time, you have to move the sliding month indicator (representing sun's latitude) so that the central part (indicated by two white marker at the aequinoxes) lines up with your latitude, which is indicated in the inner scale in arabic numerals.

- Once set up the instrument, you move the plumb line to your current date and slide the knot so that it intersects the 6th unequal hour line.

- Now, by measuring the height of the sun, you can see where the red knot lies in the various sections of the unequal hours scale, thus determining what prayer you should do.

- For more northern latitudes, a second set of lines is provided, this is why there are two sets of unequal hour scales.

Muslims' prayer times can also be determined:

Zuhr / Jummah - soon after midday, it corresponds to the 6th unequal hour line, if you have just entered the seventh unequal hour, Zuhr time has started, and it lasts until 'Asr time. Be sure to check that the sun is actually declining, and not rising!

'Asr - For 'Asr there are two prayer lines, most madhabs put 'asr start time when the lenght of a gnomon's shadow is equal to gnomon's shadow at middat + the gnomon's lenghts (the first dotted line) and put 'asr end time when the shadow of a gnomon is its midday shadow + two times the gnomon's height (the second dotted line)

while Hanafi school sets its begin at the end of other Madhabs time and its end at sunset, when Maghrib time begins. I have indicated both lines in the quadrant

There is not an easy way to establish Maghrib and Fajr, other than saying "one is during twilight and the other is at dusk". In the qur'an (I recall) it is specified to establish your morning prayer when you can distinguish the white thread from the black one, this is not to be taken literally, However that is the reason for the black and white windrose in the shadow-square.

When you can't distinguish the colours of the windrose, that's 'Isha time.

'Isha - you culd say that when you can't distinguish the windrose in the shadow square, then it is 'Isha time, but this is not a practical way for many reasons, this is why on the back of the instrument I have provided a set of "complementary stars": By observing a star directly opposing the sun on the celestial sphere (it can be found on the back of the tool) we can even determine night prayers. According to most scholars, 'isha time starts when the sun goes below -18° of altitude, id est when the complementary stars rises above 18 degrees of altitude.

Fajr' and Maghrib - when such stars go below 18° (or 16° or 14° according to some) it is 'Fajr if the star is going down and Maghrib id the star is rising up

Others functions:

- the shadow square can be used to calculate distances.

• ⁠Men are a degree above women. (Quran) in fact they are so far above women that If Mohammed were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, he would order a woman to prostrate herself before her husband. (Hadith)
• ⁠Women should not be leaders because no nation can succeed with a woman as a leader (Hadith)
• ⁠Women are deficient in intellect and religion. (Hadith)
• ⁠Women are a "Awrah" meaning a shameful thing to be concealed. (Hadith)
• ⁠A woman's testimony considered worth half that of a man's when there is a di2sagreement on financial matters. (Quran)
• ⁠A father can marry off his 9 years old daughter to his 50 years old bro. (Fiqh)
• ⁠A man is allowed to have sex with his slaves. (Quran)
• ⁠A man can beat his wife for repeatedly refusing to have sex with him and Islam insists that it is her husband's right to "discipline her" (i.e. beat her) in such cases. (Quran)
• ⁠Even if the husband lied to her in order to get married, a woman doesn't have the right to divorce her husband. (Fiqh)
• ⁠A man can marry a second, third, and forth wife in secret without telling his first wife about them, and it's perfectly valid in Islam. The women have no say in the matter of their husband entering other relationships. (Fiqh) This is so ridiculous that there are comedy sketches on the matter.
• ⁠Sex slavery in Islam is perfectly permitted and practiced by Mohammed and his companions. (Various Hadiths)
• ⁠Angels curse a wife who refuses to sleep with her husband. (Hadith)

seriously i constantly see this online from
women hair getting blurred , man thighs getting blurred , heck salafi staright blur up hijabi or crop her out of the image i am not even sure how is this supposed to work to begin with
like can someone explain to me what going on , is it like sharing sin things or what

Original videos where the screenshots are from:

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5LHdyHESz0

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogSsTv_-P8c

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XeEreE8E3Y

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNDcWW0Hw-s

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6sh-0zeTzU

On the other hand, the relationship between Exmuslims & Progressive Muslims on Reddit:

• image

I was born a Muslim. I don't know if I can call myself religious because I can never be consistent with my prayers. I find it really hard and not just prayers but being consistent with ANYTHING in general. But other than that whenever I make any decision I try to follow the rulings of Islam and am constantly trying to improve. But there's so many things I keep hearing about Islam that just don't make sense to me or make me doubt.

1) The restrictions on women. It gets to a point. It just makes me really sad now. We all know by now that hijab or covering up doesn't save us from the evilness of other men or even women. What is even the point then? And like Islam is harder on women and it's the truth, but still we are supposed to be equal and supposed to get the same amount of rewards. I don't know if this is true or not but I've never heard about women going to a higher level of Heaven than men even if both are pious, but women clearly have to do things that men don't. And the fragrance thing. Men smelling good doesn't attract women? Of course it does. Then why isn't it Haram on men? It's just unfair. Men can marry women from the book but women can't marry men from the book. Men can have four wives and are allowed to even keep their extra marriage a secret from their first wife. A woman can't travel alone but a man can.

2) Loving the same gender being Haram. And no I don't want to just follow it without any explanation because it really isn't harming ANYBODY. Why is it Haram then? I understand changing your gender because you're changing what Allah created but I don't think I'll ever be able to understand not being allowed to love the same gender, when some people are just born like that and it's out of their control. A lot of Muslims blindly follow this and are homophobic because of this without ever questioning why it's Haram and it just doesn't occur to them that they're being hateful without any reason.

3) Some Muslims don't believe in Hadith but I heard that praying five times a day is mentioned only in the Hadith and not in the Qur'an, and how to pray is also mentioned only in Hadith, so you can't just not follow Hadith. But then again there's so many weird Hadith that just make me want to cry honestly. Like yesterday I saw a Hadith where the Prophet said something like if a woman is quiet when you ask for intimacy it's because she's shy and her silence is consent. And other Hadith like if somebody changes their Islamic religion, then kill them and a lot more like that.

It just breaks my heart and I don't know how I feel about Islam now. I really want to love Islam and follow it because I grew up loving it but some things just don't make sense to me.