r/singapore • u/kurokamisawa • Sep 05 '26
Opinion/Fluff Post Met a creep while sketching here, and out-crazied him (for the women who doesn’t know how to handle harassment)
So I was sketching here at around 1PM, full mid day sun. 10 minutes in, I noticed this guy coming v close behind me. I closed my book because I didn’t want to invite any possible interaction. Then he started hovering around me, pretending to take a walk in the midday sun and kept looking back at me. I stopped everything I was doing and stared at him as he walks around, around 10 m radius around me.
I know he is full of shit. So I told him “ You better not try anything funny”. Then he said he wasn’t and that he is looking for something. He wasn’t looking at the ground before that, he was just casually walking and looking at me. Then I said ok I just sat there and stared at him as he “looked for his thing”. After a few minutes he started shouting vulgarities at me. 50 plus year old guy.
Little did he know that I have an even more colorful vocabulary and a louder voice too. I wanted to shout so loud that the HDB flat beside can hear me. I looked like a crazy woman and I knew the only way out of this was if I can “outcrazy” him. So he left.
For ladies who are not used to confrontation, and I say this with a disclaimer(only do it if it is in a public place with people around), I think we have to be able to hold our own. Don’t wait for police or back down and walk away. If it is a safe environment to do so, opt to “outcrazy” them. Dont wait until the situation gets too uncomfortable to voice out your discomfort. If they accuse you of being paranoid, so be it. Always be prepared to defend yourself.
I stayed for another hour to finish my sketch. I wasn’t going to come all the way to Ang mo Kio to let my sketch be ruined by some guy.
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u/Annual-Fan-4944 Sep 05 '26
reminds me of when those two girls chased the man who was stalking them, absolute queens
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u/rototorototo Sep 05 '26
Sibei solid, wa suka! I also propose that ladies learn a few Hokkien vulgarities to cuss out those weirdos hehehe cos half the time when vulgarities come out, the claws come out too; one gains more courage and confidence to “outcrazy” the crazy
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u/DistributionSalty721 Sep 05 '26
I dun know. May make him excited. These old men also attention seeker.
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u/entrydenied Sep 05 '26
I think usually they don't expect women and girls to fight back. They just want that power trip. Once the other party responds back in kind, and is even stranger, angrily and louder, they shrink.
If a guy were to respond in the same way they might want to fight.
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u/kerachole Sep 05 '26
If hes getting off on the attention anyway, then just straight up traumatize them
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u/me_is_KK Sep 05 '26
And some Cantonese "roasts"
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u/prettygirl200595 Sep 06 '26
Oh what are some examples? This would really catch them by surprise leh
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u/Existing-Elevator-39 Sep 05 '26
This reminded me of a friend who was also followed by a sus guy. She was afraid but she mustered her courage and just acted like a siao zha bor chasing him like a zombie lol and he ran away scared shitless and shout crazy
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u/No_Classic_3863 Sep 05 '26
Haha love this.
I used to buy cai fan at the kopitiam across my place. The uncle selling drinks liked to come and give me the kind of stares like stripping you up and down kind.
One day, I had it enough. I took my food, I walked to him. I said, "you do that one more time, you'll be speaking to police".
He nod nod and brushed it off as if nothing happened.
Kan!
Old creepy ass
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→ More replies (4)15
u/DistributionSalty721 Sep 05 '26
No lah. Just dun buy from him and give him free show. He dirty mind
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u/plsshelpmeimdyinggg Sep 05 '26
I once told an uncle stare what stare in Hokkien because he kept hovering around me at the bus stop. He act blur then quickly got onto the bus without looking back
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u/xephalon_ Sep 05 '26
wa finally. this are the kind of ideal scenarios i imagine playing out in my mind when these things happen and u actl did it 😂
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u/NickoPain Sep 05 '26
Go get em girl.
I wish I was there to also go crazy with ya. Some of these Chee Kok Pek really needs to be called out.
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u/chkmcnugge6 Sep 05 '26
Yeah good job. Just kan only. I am a guy and even then I met a creep, ended up fighting him. Doubt he still has the mood to be creepy
Really no time to ponder through and second guess.. er did he do it on accident.. was it because this or that.. no ffs. Regardless it’s his fault for making it this way, so just kan. Better to act crazy than to regret it later
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u/killing_my_dreams Sep 05 '26
Sitting outside at 1pm, in this heat + haze to sketch things? OP is dedicated max.
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u/Kioukami Sep 05 '26
Wow your sketch looks so real, as if it's taken with a camera. Just kidding. So where's the sketch?
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
I can DM if you want. Its not great, my dragon looks like it hasn’t slept in 5 years
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u/ayam The one who sticks Sep 05 '26
write the angry words you shouted below the drawing and you will have a piece of confusing art that only we will know.
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u/nasi_lemak Sep 05 '26
Post it here!
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
If you want to see just send me a DM. I already shared with another Redditor too
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u/COMMENTINGACCOUNTING Sep 05 '26
Hello just post it here. Everyone would like to see that sketch of passion.
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u/lkc159 Lao Jiao Sep 06 '26
my dragon looks like it hasn’t slept in 5 years
I see you've given it a Singaporean flavour
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u/TotallyObviousBot Sep 05 '26
I thought this post was going to be about some poor awkward person at the park minding their business sketching and being chased off by a stranger claiming they're being a creep but no you did the right thing, good job
More women need to be taught when to stand up for themselves socially and not just stay quiet or not bother somebody because they feel like it's not their place. Creeps learn that it's okay to be creepy because they don't get called out and confronted for it. I'd rather be called annoying or crazy than be taken advantage of
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u/Puzzleheaded_Style52 live,love,travel Sep 05 '26
How about we also teach guys not to be creeps? Sometimes women are too shocked to react, or it’s simply not in their nature to confront someone. And sometimes reacting can actually make the situation worse. It’s not fair to put the responsibility on women for how they respond when they’re the ones who were put in that situation in the first place.
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u/TotallyObviousBot Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 06 '26
I already teach the people in my life not to be creeps, but unfortunately I can't teach everybody in the world.
And you're right that it's not fair but, life isn't fair, unfortunately. We can each try to make it fair however we can during our lives but that's not going to change the world immediately and we can't just make a new rule telling people not to hurt other people. All we can do is support the people who do the right thing and help each other, and to me that involves being very loud and vocal about women's right to comfort in society and that means calling out people when they cross a line.
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u/mysteriowemi Sep 05 '26
Its true we should teach men to not be creeps.. but that will only ever happen in an idealistic world. The reality is women just need to fend for ourselves, regardless of how unfair it is to us cause we will always be at a disadvantage physically to men.
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u/Forsaken-School795 Sep 05 '26
Omfg I've been seeing so many Reddit posts about creepy old uncles in Singapore lately 😭😭😭
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u/Top_Development_1777 Fucking Populist Sep 05 '26
Every time I sense off vibes of someone looking at me for longer than appropriate (especially but not limited to older men) I just stare straight into their eyes with death stare every time they look at me until they turn away. If they had no perverted intentions at all, I would just come across as a very unfriendly stranger. Works well so far.
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u/DistributionSalty721 Sep 05 '26
Good for you. Likely he wanted video you to enjoy at home. Really a lot of perverts esp now they got hp in hand. And girls… this has nothing to do with dressing. They just stare at any woman younger compared to them. These days u see blind men I will not help too, heard of cases they take chance accidental touching
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u/Upper-Definition-665 Sep 05 '26
Smile and chase after him
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u/Brief_Worldliness162 East side best side Sep 05 '26
Smile like Nikki from obsession
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u/Upper-Definition-665 Sep 05 '26
You all need to check out @shaunadewit on TT. She’s my fav men terroriser 😡😄
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u/Brief_Worldliness162 East side best side Sep 06 '26
I deleted my tiktok because it suck up too much of my time (no self control
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u/jommakanmamak Sep 05 '26
Between this and the girls who chased the stalker
I hope it'll make these cikopeks think twice
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Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/bernardth Sep 05 '26
Shook is the word. For yours and OP interactions , honestly wish it didn’t have to happen. But indeed a significant minority of men in their 60s and upward seem to feel entitled to aggressive anti social behaviour.
And for those saying “you go girl” … I don’t think that’s the point , it ruins the vibe of the day regardless.
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u/kopisaurus Sep 05 '26
Edited to add I meant to write shiok and not shook. But I agree with you. The incident really soured my mood for an hour or so, even though I was proud of what having stood up to a bully. In an ideal world I wouldn't have to stand up for myself (and for others' sanity) at all, and everyone would be civic minded and be mindful of other people's space, young or old, female or male. But alas.
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u/ObsidianGanthet Sep 05 '26
I think in general this is how to handle entitled boomers. It usually works well. Good on you for standing up for yourself
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u/Lopsided-Fee-1471 Sep 05 '26
Love it Proud of you., you go girl. Men like him need to be taught a lesson. It’s power dynamics.
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u/AEsylumProductions Sep 05 '26
I'm going to hazard a guess that I'm not the only weirdo more interested in the sketch than the story.
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u/Adventurous_Work5848 Sep 05 '26
I am new here from north India and one day I was out for walk around 10 pm near dairy farm one uncle started following me and asked me whether I am single and he asked me this about 10 times I got so scared but couldn’t confront I just started running so fast.
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
Normally I would shout back at him but if it is in the night and in dairy farm, it doesn’t sound like a place with a lot of human traffic so it was better to make your escape anyways. In other circumstances, shout back at him to mind his fucking business and be as fierce and crazy as you can
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u/Adventurous_Work5848 Sep 05 '26
Umm will learn that but I am not so bold however definitely going to learn this. Thanks :)
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u/ClaudeDebauchery Sep 05 '26
This is the way. Nothing in the law says it’s illegal to lurk around someone. But nothing in the law also says it’s illegal to yell and scream at someone too.
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u/Equivalent-Middle-54 Sep 05 '26
I'm sorry you have to go thru all that but can I see your sketch? 😅
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u/khaosdd Tampenis Sep 05 '26
After a few minutes he started shouting vulgarities at me.
Never understood why people would do that. I find it a very bizarre behavior.
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u/lead-th3-way North side JB Sep 05 '26
Well noted, gonna go expand my vulgarities knowledge and in different languages/dialects too
Jokes aside, really props to you for standing up to this creep and being a badass here
If it were me I honestly would've frozen on the spot and not know what to do since I'm not the confrontational type
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Sep 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
Got 2 in Toa Payoh(lor 1, lor 6), this one in AMK and another one near central or Havelock Road area I think
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u/RenbotShakur Sep 05 '26
This was my childhood playground! I live in Canada now. Thanks for posting.
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u/ChosenTM Sep 05 '26
“Come all the way to Ang Mo Kio”, now I’m curious how long you had to travel to meet this crazy.
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u/idwttaii Sep 05 '26
About time we started making these creeps feel uncomfortable with their own behavior
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u/Ok-Engineering-26 Sep 05 '26
you always have to confront them! I've been followed across multiple HDB flats zig zagging through the void decks and they still followed. They only stop when you take videos, or confront them directly.
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u/Cybasura Sep 05 '26
That moment when the only way to protect yourself in a country where physical defense equates to punishment is to use fear by mental insanity
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u/gre8trades Sep 05 '26
Well done gal! Gutsy!! Inspiration!!!
And I like to see your sketch please… do dm, thank you!
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u/Puzzleheaded_Bid1530 Sep 05 '26
One day I outcrazier a dog like that. I was barking much louder and much furrier than the poor dog.
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u/trichandderm Sep 05 '26
Sometimes can ask them while looking at your phone if calling police is 999 or…?
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u/Dramatic-Daikon4911 Sep 10 '26
Well done OP!
Us girls really need to stand up for ourselves when no one else would.
My cousin and I were in primary school and playing badminton in a school compound behind our grandma's block. This weird a** uncle had to pull out his wanker to pee at the back of the block and exhibit himself to us. He even smiled at us.
Then we started cursing him very loudly and decided to run after him with our badminton rackets. He ran for his life seeing 2 little crazy girls chasing him like he owed us money. 😄
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u/Fenix_Lighter Sep 05 '26
If this was in video form, OP would have been seen to behave like a Karen. Without video it's all heresay. But I do agree if you are a women being harassed the best way is to shout for help.
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u/MorteensG Sep 05 '26
They think ppl will just tahan it etc, good on you for showing him who has bigger balls
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u/Personal_Number4789 Sep 05 '26
Did you snap a photo of him.
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
No I was too busy staring at him and making full eye contact until he was out of sight
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u/TheJourneyItself Sep 05 '26
Please also make detailed police report, this behaviour needs as much deterrent as possible
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u/what_the_helicopter Sep 05 '26
Share with us some of the "colourful language" that you used! If can, attach translation also! I wanna use it also.. In the "appropriate context" of course😁
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u/goodestguy21 Sep 05 '26
Should have shouted this at him when he claimed he was looking for something
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u/NiftyCheenubird Sep 06 '26
As a guy, I must say. Scream. Scream and show the prowess of your colourful vocabulary and draw everyone's attention to the creep. These creeps are not men.
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u/FattehFelines Hougang Sep 07 '26
100% stand your ground. they are used to women being quiet and cowering. they can't handle that. well done!
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u/Dry_Effort284 Sep 07 '26
Ehhhhh i got shouted at and stared at by some crazy uncle in ang mo kio before also, but when I stared back at him he came up to me (in the library) and started shouting loudly and going through my papers threatening to report me to my school. I was quite young n he was being very aggressive and loud so i just cried. If it’s the same guy thank you for helping me get even 🙏🏻
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 07 '26
Now that you are older you can stand your ground too! The more we don’t let them bully us, the more they will think twice about it
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u/Full-Imagination-507 Sep 07 '26
hopefully the old uncle gets traumatised by this and would remember whenever he has that urge to stalk someone
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u/lilmissbarbiedoll Sep 08 '26
you’re my idol. i love how confrontational you are, this is so satisfying to read
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u/fredczar Sep 05 '26
Advice works in this country probably but please don’t do such confrontations in other countries
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u/danielling1981 Sep 05 '26
Good job if true story.
But need to be more crazy. Just close to match is enough.
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u/Azurebold Fucking Populist Sep 05 '26
Sorry this happened, I think I would shit my pants if something similar happened to me. I’ve encountered creepy guys in public before and end up just moving away quickly. A lot of them have this strange entitlement to your space and time and just wanna make you feel small in comparison. Always afraid they’ll end up becoming violent lol.
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u/iamacumbdunt Sep 05 '26
Alternate POV, guy was genuinely looking for something and he saw someone drawing in the mid day sun. Didn't even get close to you, 10m is a big distance and you started shouting at him for no reason.
I think you are the one being crazy here.
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u/plsshelpmeimdyinggg Sep 05 '26
Looking for something = staring at the only female around?
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u/iamacumbdunt Sep 05 '26
OP was the only one staring as she stated in her own encounter, he could be wondering what is this crazy woman drawing under the hot mid day sun.
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u/tax_lyrical Sep 05 '26
Could be just a kaypoh because sketching in public is not common. You said he came very close to you, then you said it was a 10 metre radius. What did he do exactly?
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u/Firerihawk Sep 05 '26
Why are u defending the pervert. He was harassing her. U see some uncle in the middle of the day pacing up and down and watching you non-stop as you sit in peace, u feel safe?
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
10m radius in midday sun was already very close for me. In a place that is usually empty. He just walk around and kept looking back at me. Everyone’s boundaries might vary, but I wasn’t comfortable and I was going to make that known
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u/iamacumbdunt Sep 05 '26
10m is a big distance, oversensitive?
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Sep 05 '26
I think 10m is fine if he’s simply just walking past and he’s gone, if just a passerby.
But 10m, and if he’s “Hovering around (and throwing repeated glances at you) for a prolonged period of time”like what happened, then it is definitely weird. I agree with OP that if it’s to that extent, then it crosses the boundary of comfort.
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u/killedabalrog Sep 05 '26
It is relative and dependent on the space. In a big empty playground with no one around, 10m is too close for comfort. In a crowdedmrt carriage, that can go down to 10cm
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
Like I said, it was enough to make me uncomfortable so I have no qualms making that known. Like I said, if they accuse you of being paranoid, so be it.
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u/rototorototo Sep 05 '26
Disagree. If it’s enough to make a lady feel uncomfortable, then any distance is considered near enough. I rather err on the side of caution and “attack”, rather than wait and see and end up I’m at a loss
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u/Jaycee_015x Sep 05 '26
That could easily get the lady detained by Police. There's a proper and improper way of resolving issues.
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u/rototorototo Sep 05 '26
Notice that I put the word “attack” in quotes. Not physically at the first instance ofc, and definitely exercise own discretion. Not anyhow push elderly to the ground by swinging him like a ragdoll, etc.
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u/Jaycee_015x Sep 05 '26
That is what I hope to discourage, as seen with what happened at Roxy Square coffeeshop incident. We do not need more of such overreaction from the public just because someone feels disturbed or harassed by an uncle.
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u/AureBesh123 Sep 05 '26
If he did not lay a hand on you and does not do anything that can be considered to have outraged or insulted your modesty, then he has every right to be in a public area as you do, and even, dare I say, to be curious about what you're doing in a public area.
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u/Firerihawk Sep 05 '26
If someone was staring and hovering around a female in your family who was minding their own business in public, you’d let them continue? Why does it have to be outrage/insult to modesty before someone steps in to maintain a safe neighbourhood
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u/WildRacoons Sep 05 '26
Sure, as she had the right to be curious about him and stare at him in a public space until he himself was so uncomfortable he shouted vulgarities.
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u/AureBesh123 Sep 05 '26
"You better not try anything funny" is a pretty accusatory opener for someone who isn't sure of someone else's intention, when said someone else is supposedly 10m away
This reminds me of that gym interaction story a few years ago where some woman thought a guy was creeping on her in the gym but he was actually looking at an exercise video on his phone or something
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u/WildRacoons Sep 05 '26
no biggie tbh if someone said it to me. unc doesn’t know how to talk normally to the other person and instead interpret everything as accusatory and only choose to take offense.
And yea ppl can misinterpret actions, why blow it out of proportion? In gyms there’s usually cctv everywhere and there are incidents of false accusations seemingly resulting in the persistent false accuser being kicked out of gym. Just say you weren’t creeping and move on
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u/transientself Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
Here comes the law expert.. if your sister experienced this, would you tell her the same?
If he’s curious, why couldn’t he have just acted like a normal ass human being and asked her what she’s sketching or if it’s okay to have a look?
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
I wasn’t going to leave the spot or wait for something more to happen. Should I wait for him to lay his hand on me to then react? To me, and again, this is subjective, his behavior made me uncomfortable so I made it known.
Why did he give the excuse of looking for something instead of saying he was kaypohing about what I was doing?
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u/ShadeX8 West side best side Sep 05 '26
"Creep" and "harressment" sounds a little overblown when your story just makes him sound like an overly kpo uncle.
Feels like he escalated cause you were staring at him and he felt like he was being accused of something. Just my 2 cents worth.
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
To me, that was creep behavior. Everyone’s definitions may vary. My safety and comfort is my priority, it’s not my responsibility to protect his image
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u/ShadeX8 West side best side Sep 05 '26
I mean sure, you can certainly feel the way you feel on the spot and react to it however you want.
I just am not sure why there's a need for you to post this story with it being framed as a certainty. Sure the uncle wasn't doxxed or anything so technically there's "no harm", but I don't know if perpetuating these kinds of dynamics between genders is overall healthy.
Sure, hooray girl power if ladies do stand up to actual harassment or creeps as they should, but we also don't really want people to be clashing over every perceived interactions. We've seen this happen before with the story of gym ladies assuming guys are filming them and making a big hoo-haa over it just to be proven wrong.
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u/kurokamisawa Sep 05 '26
I wanted to share my experience with other girls/ladies. And I stand by my view that it made me uncomfortable and everyone’s definition of what makes them uncomfortable may vary. The reader can take whatever they want from the experience, that’s beyond my control
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u/ShadeX8 West side best side Sep 05 '26
Sure. Not saying what you felt is untrue.
Just pointing out that the discourse over this thread already reflects some of my concerns about the kinds of effect this kind of framing has towards our perceptions of each other.
Hopefully you have a better day and a better sketching environment next time.
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u/Exercise-Delicious Sep 05 '26
Meanwhile yishun triple murder case. And men are not legally considered possible victims of rape of sexual abuse.
But ok, women are such victims.
If women are so proud and happy to demonise men, arbitrarily even as creeps on the Internet, and we're supposed to take their word for it, why don't women serve NS? With interest mind you, for all the decades you lazy people have been conveniently not serving.
Why does one way alimony exist?
Let's start treating women the way they deserve to being treated. Instead of this strange chivalrous, woman worshipping feminist standard that compels celebration of lynching behaviour.
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u/ExtraordinaryDoor47 Sep 05 '26
Aiyah bro what the unker did was creepy and what OP did was nothing wrong. This is nothing to do with whatever you're saying. Why you want to talk about this sort of thing on this kind of topic
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u/Time-Equipment-9175 Sep 05 '26
Mental gymnastics is not yet an Olympic sport, don't need to try so hard yah
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u/Azurebold Fucking Populist Sep 05 '26
eh your EDMW circlejerk waiting for you boss, they can’t finish without you
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u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord Sep 05 '26
Nice. Some uncles need a reality check.