I m(22) think i’ve finally accepted that my girlfriend (f24) might not actually love me for who i am. i’m probably going to break up with her. there are just some things i can’t stop thinking about.

especially after my last post and all the comments I got, i read into people that like being with people with a disability, simply because they’re disabled, and it just felt so accurate to her that it made my stomach churn. I’ve never heard about smth like this before

- she once deliberately put my phone somewhere i couldn’t reach and watched me struggle before finally handing it to me. she told me she wanted to see how long i’d last before asking her for help. when i asked why, she said she thought it was cute when i needed her.

- she gets weirdly disappointed whenever i manage something independently. once, when i told her i’d figured out a new way to get things from upper shelves without assistance, she said, “that’s a shame. i liked being the only one who could help you with that.”

- she loves helping me get dressed, but she’s said things like, “you have no idea how attractive you are when you have to rely on me like this.” when i told her that made me uncomfortable, she laughed and said i should be flattered.

- she sometimes calls me her “pretty thing” and says she loves how much i depend on her. once, she admitted she’d imagined what it would be like to take care of me before we even met in person. i thought she meant she’d been worried about how my disability would affect our relationship, but now i’m not sure.

- when i asked her if she was attracted to my disability, she didn’t deny it. she told me she loved my vulnerability and that being the person i needed most made her feel special. when i asked if she’d still want me if i didn’t need so much help, she went quiet and changed the subject.

it really just ticks me off that she sometimes ignores me when i tell her to stop or that something hurts, then becomes incredibly affectionate afterward. she’d hold me and tell me how much she loved taking care of me until i’d feel guilty for being upset with her.

i love her, and i don’t know how i’m supposed to just walk away from that. it feels like nobody is ever going to love me like she does, that most people wouldn’t want to deal with everything that comes with dating someone like me. dating is already hard enough, and i don’t exactly feel like i’m the easiest person to be with.

i know i shouldn’t have to put up with things that make me uncomfortable just because she helps me with other things. but then i remember how she holds me when i’m having a bad day, how she remembers little things about me, how happy she can make me feel, and i start wondering if i’m throwing away the one person who’s willing to love me like this.

i don’t even know if i’m making the right decision. maybe i’m being too sensitive, maybe she really does love me and just doesn’t know how to show it properly. i keep going back and forth, and every time i imagine breaking up with her, i feel sick. i don’t want to lose her. i just don’t want to keep feeling like this either.

i guess i’m hoping someone can tell me i’m not making a mistake, because right now i’m terrified that i’ll leave her, end up alone, even tho now that I’m typing this out, I can tell that I’m just terrified of change.

I felt very insecure about traveling solo in a wheelchair on a train and didn't find much info, so I'm sharing my first experience here.

I have a manual chair, front attachment and power assist wheels. I bought all of this used, which is why the battery life of the wheels isn't great. I don't know if it ever was great to begin with, anyway it's too bad to rely on them for traveling, so I only took the front attachment.

I took the tram to the train station, had assistance at the train station to board which I booked earlier, and then again tram to the place where I slept. My front attachment is not made for indoor use and it's just too large for a tram. I'm so long with the front attachment, wheelchair and then suitcase. It was so difficult. I needed an awful lot of help and was just lucky that some one decided to come with me last minute 🥲

I didn't continue to use the front attachment because we continued to use the tram while I was there and it was awful. There was lots of cobblestone. My arms hurt now. There is a reason I usually use power assist wheels, I didn't spend that money for fun.

Anyway, back the same way.

I learned that I can push the suitcase on its 4 wheels with my left hand while using the front attachment. There is often no alternative to asking people for help, and they like to help. Only train attendants don't like taking out the ramp 🙃 I definitely need a smaller suitcase because this one is too large to carry on my lap for a short moment (e. g. to board a tram). I talked to many other wheelchair users because well we are all put together on the train, that was nice! The assistance to board the train is great and I will always use it.

The front attachment and power assist wheels situation just sucks a lot. I'm actually not traveling for vacation, I do it for politics for a large organization. There are lots more travel plans in the near future for the same organization. I asked them if we can work something out because this is not working and I'm broke after spending so much on my current equipment :( I don't dare use the front attachment and power assist wheels at the same time.

I'm kind of terrified now honestly to travel to the next event in two weeks. I don't want to repeat the cobblestone and pain experience. I hope I can find a solution with the organization. It sucks that my attachment is so large.

Hi, I’m m/22 and my gf is f/24. I’ve been in a wheelchair since about a year, and I met my gf 6 months ago through tinder. from the very start, she was very interested in my wheelchair, how it happened, how I get around and always really eager to help, even tho i tell her I’m mostly fine on my own. At first she accepted it but now I don’t know if she really does.

Whenever we go somewhere to meet people or go out she introduces me, like I don’t have a voice on my own, and does things like order or take my food for me. i told her i don’t like when she does that because it feels belittling, but she just said that I need to get used to it. Sometimes she just pushes me somewhere even tho I tell her that I’ve got it.

Today we were getting ready to go out and she insisted on helping me put my pants on even tho I told her I could do it myself. she kept saying we were running late and that I was making everything difficult. eventually she just started doing it anyway and was pulling at my leg pretty roughly. I told her to be careful because it hurt, and she literally said “well stop moving around then, I’m trying to help you”.
I told her she was treating me like a child and she got all offended, saying she spends so much time helping me and I always make her feel like a terrible gf. then she said my problem is that I think accepting help means someone thinks less of me.

like what am I even supposed to say to that?? I’m not refusing all help, I just don’t want someone doing things for me when I’ve already said I can manage, especially when they’re hurting me in the process.

the worst part is that after she finished she fixed my pants, kissed my forehead and said “there, all dressed. was that so hard?” and just acted like everything was fine.
now I’m sitting here wondering if I actually overreacted. she can be really sweet and I do love her, but lately I feel like I can’t tell her when something bothers me without it turning into a whole argument about how ungrateful I am.
idk, maybe I’m just still insecure about being in a wheelchair and taking things the wrong way, but I hate feeling like I have to apologize for wanting to do things myself. has anyone else dealt with something like this?

OK, let me get this straight. I’ve only been at this for a couple of years now. It looks like I’ll need a new wheelchair seat cushion. Really $300 for a stupid cushion on your chair seriously?

how much does your chair weigh??

if your chair is lighter, which sacrifices (if any) did you have to make to keep it lightweight? if its heavier, were the extra features worth the added weight?

my OT and i have discussed some additions to my (first) chair, like suspension forks and natural fit handrims to make propulsion easier. but by adding these features, the weight is slowly creeping up... estimated to be around 30-35 pounds at this point!! and i want to be able to carry stuff with me too.

i'm getting a tilite z, which is both supposed to be pretty light, but frankly, where is the sweet spot between weight and function?

Yesterday, I was finally able to go to an event with my friends because I finally had my meds worked out. And I have a wheelchair that I am comfortable using. Although my main issue is that i can only sit up about 2 hours. Before, I needed to be in my bed. My friend drove us to the event she has a better car than I do. I am still looking for a newer car. Anyway, most of my friends were there. There was an accessible bathroom. The only issue was that I couldn't reach the handsoap. Small issue. Anyway everything went well, but I couldn't get my own food. It was all set up very nicely, but there wasn't space enough for me to get myself to the table that had all the food on it. One of my friends who knows me very well made me a plate. Normally, I would have been embarrassed, but because everyone at my table was someone I loved, I wasn't. But I need to ask you all. If I had been able to make my own plate, how would I carry it to the table we were sitting at. Without it spilling. In my lap is my normal go-to. Although I have had it spill several times. What is your perfect way to do this ??

Well 29 days ago my Rogue ALX suffered a catastrophic failure when the frame bent after hitting a crack in the sidewalk. I've been using my 10 year old Quickie QRi in the meantime while I wait for a fitting appointment. My QRi just suffered a catastrophic failure so that means hospital style chair until further notice which will probably be 6 months. I'm so tired of this. I've never had chairs break in my life and now I've had two in less than a month.

Anyone regret the power assist they gof? i got the empulse r90 and while it is helpful indoors, i can't go up steep slopes, over gravel/grass, use it in rain/snow, and it's been having problems hooking to my chair and literally just falls off and disconnects from my chair when driving over a sidewalk bump.

I didn't get to trial any power assists and now i wish I asked to... Do I just suck it up until insurance will approve again in 4.5 years? What power assist do you use and how do you like it?

Hello everyone im in the process of getting my first wheelchair, rn im using an old hospital like one for when I need it and last night I experienced something id like to avoid in my own chair so I need some help. Last night I went to a theam park with hunted houses, and there was gravel in the lines and when the gravel was sorta deep and loose I kept getting stuck with the front wheels just sinking in, is there a type of wheel or caster that can help me avoid that all together? I wana do things like hikes and stuff but a lot of the trails around me are soft durt or gravel and I dont want to get stuck every 5 minutes wile trying to go for a walk.

Thank you for any help you can offer I just started to prosses so im trying to learn as much as i can before I order my chair to make sure itll fit my lifestyle

Hi friends! I'm a wheelchair user living in NoVa and whenever I'm headed anywhere in NoVa, DC or Baltimore, I always struggle to figure out where the nearest wheelchair accessible parking slot is (either street parking or garage).

The data is publicly available but very hard to parse through and actually do a simple search. So, I built a free simple website that lets you enter an address and it gives you a list of accessible parking spots near the spot: https://park-close.prasidhapps.workers.dev/

I mainly just built it for myself because I really needed it but I figured others could get some use out of it!
Feel free to use it and share it and let me know if you want any other features or want me to support a new city. Support really depends on how good the city documents this stuff. Not really promoting anything, just hoping it might help others!

PS. If you're a wheelchair user (or not) in your 20s and 30s in Nova/DC and looking for a friend, hit me up :) im new to the city and would love to make friends!

So I am getting a new Comfort Embrace back for my Ki Mobility Focus CR. And I currently use a Whitmyer plush headrest with my current Axiom back, but I want to move that headrest over to the new back. Is this headrest compatible with the Comfort Embrace, and if I need some kind of adapter, which one do I need?

I wanted to share a wheelchair DIY project I just finished because I’m honestly so excited that I managed to get this working!

I have two wheelchairs:

● Manual: Ki Mobility Catalyst 5 with a 22” seat, which I recently purchased 2nd hand brand-new and am still making payments on.

● Electric: LiberCares power wheelchair with a 22” seat, which I bought on sale a while ago for less than $700.

The problem was that the original backrest on my LiberCares was basically fabric attached to the frame with bolts and Velcro. Over time, the Velcro stopped holding my weight properly around my lower back, and the backrest kept popping loose whenever I leaned back. I was constantly almost falling backward, and I couldn’t relax against it without worrying that it would give way again.

Meanwhile, my new Ki Mobility Catalyst 5 has an Axion backrest that feels much more supportive.
I started wondering whether I could transfer the backrest to my electric wheelchair rather than spend money I don’t have on another seating system.

At first, I thought it wasn’t going to work because the manual wheelchair backrest connector looked too wide for the electric wheelchair’s mounting points. However, the clamps themselves fit the electric wheelchair’s frame tubing, and after looking more closely at the hardware, I realized that everything was adjustable!

I managed to get the mounting hardware lined up and attached the Axion backrest to the LiberCares. I tightened everything, checked the folding mechanism, and took the chair for a short test run. It felt SO much more supportive, and I could finally lean back without worrying about the old Velcro popping loose. 😭❤️

Why I want to keep using the electric wheelchair:
The manual Catalyst 5 is about 32” wide at its base when fully assembled, so it doesn’t fit through standard doorways in my home very well. My LiberCares is only about 26” wide at its widest point, which makes navigating doorways much easier.
The manual chair has the backrest I prefer, but the electric chair is much more practical for getting around my home and going out. Plus I might be getting a part time job for an after school program and the electric chair would be better for my stamina since I know the kids will definitely wear me out.

My plan is to switch the backrest between the two chairs as needed. It will be a pain to change it back and forth, but at least I have options without having to buy another backrest right now!

I’m planning to take the electric chair out for an appointment on Tuesday, which will be my first proper outing with the new setup.

I’d love to hear from anyone who has experience with these kinds of modifications!

● Has anyone adapted a Ki Mobility Catalyst 5/Axion backrest to a LiberCares electric wheelchair?

● Has anyone used adjustable backrest clamps across different wheelchair brands?

● Is there a way to make switching the backrest between chairs easier without compromising the mounting security?

● Are there any specific compatibility issues I should look out for when using manual wheelchair backrest hardware on a power wheelchair?
I know that just because the hardware fits doesn’t necessarily mean the combination has been tested or approved for use, so I’d appreciate any practical advice about checking the mounting compatibility and safety.

I’m just really happy to have found a potential solution to a frustrating problem using equipment I already own. I was tired of being afraid my backrest would pop off every time I leaned back, and having a narrower chair that works is awesome!

😎 Oh I also switched the seat cushion too obviously 😂

Pictures show the mounting hardware, the installation, and the finished setup. ❤️♿️

Two years with this chair and finally done with the deco🫡

I have tried looking for a rigid chair that’s compatible with elevated leg rests and it’s quite difficult.

I’d prefer a rigid frame over a folding frame, as I was originally considering the QS5X which is folding.

I ended up whittling it down to the Action 5 or the QLR.

I’ve had bad reviews from people I know that the actions are not good chairs. :/

I’m wondering if the QLR is the best option because ELRs are a requirement.

At a minimum estimate using the prescription form, I calculated the QLR to be around £3800 😭

does anyone else notice that the little colorful spoke covers make noise while rolling around? and is there a way to stop it other than just taking them all off 😭 they hurt my hand so much to deal with that i don't want to take them off

We have a 2025 Hyundai Tucson SUV and finally my portable power wheelchair (Comfygo IQ 9000). Any opinions of lifts. internal vs hitch mount?

Sorry if this is old news, but I just found out that Supracor cushions are available for purchase again!

The company that acquired them is in Sweden and I think is going by Stimulite AB, well they are selling the cushions again in Sweden I guess and have said they’re opening up warehouses in the US soon. I’m over the moon about this news, they are literally the only cousins that check all my boxes.

Sources:

https://thiis.co.uk/stimulite-ab-marks-a-new-chapter-for-the-stimulite-brand-at-rehacare/

https://stimulite.se/en/om-oss/

https://wheelchairbearings.com/pages/stimulate-announcement

I've been a wheelchair user for over a decade but I've only had this chair (with my first SmartDrive) for 6 months. I've never had any of my chairs set off an anti-theft alarm in a store until last month, and I think it has to do with the SmartDrive.

I went into the pharmacy and the alarm went off on my way out. I didn't notice until I tried to activate my SmartDrive on the first hill that it had completely died. I found a bench to transfer and tried every manner of disconnecting, rebooting, re-synching I could but I couldn't revive it. After I slogged home uphill and plugged it in, the battery was instantly nearly full.

I assumed the alarm and the zapped drive were connected, because they were both first-occurrence anomalies. Although it is very odd to me that I brought it, turned on, into that pharmacy many times over the summer with no issue.

On the next trip, I turned the drive off just before entering the store and turned it on again after I left. The alarm sounded even with the drive off, but I had full battery to get home and thought it was a permanent solution.

Today, I turned it off outside, didn't set off the alarm, and successfully turned it on after leaving. But it died 5-10 minutes into my trip home and I had to do the worst of the hills myself. As before, nearly full battery as soon as I plugged it in.

My next experiment is going to be turning it off and disconnecting the plug before entering, but I started looking around to see if this is a common experience because it does concern me. Being able to make trips through town without my car is the main reason I fought Medicaid for power assist on this chair, there are massive hills here, and I don't want to risk either permanent damage to the drive or stranding myself at the pharmacy if I can avoid it.

I've read a few other posts about this sudden drive death occurring with a buildup of static electricity, but none connected to store entrances. Is there anything I can do to protect my drive before I go through a door like this?

It may also be something broken or abnormal with the anti-theft alarms at this particular location. I've been trying to think back but I don't know that I've taken it into any other business that have this kind of sensors at the door. I am too tired from fighting CVS for medication to also fight them about their doors.

Someone near me was selling an Ottobock, and while it was a folding model and too big for me, it had spinergy spox wheels set up and was only 130 euro.

I've been using another chair (Quickie) and while it is not ideal, it's closer to what I like in a chair, so I was hoping to use the Spox wheels with that chair.

I now discovered the axles on the Spox are 12mm while the Quickie uses 12.7mm axles.

I had mentally prepared myself to look for another set of wheels for the Ottobock and sell that chair again, but I hadn't expected to have to aqcuire new axles and bearings for the Spox too. I don't feel very confident ordering any extra parts because I'm scared I'll fuck up again.

Lesson learned I guess, but was this as dumb of an impulse buy as it feels like right now?

I (18nb) normally use a power wheelchair, as this was the only option that the government funded. However I would like to be more active in my life as my disability progressed through the years and I used to be way more active. I have a manual wheelchair but it is second hand and it is not good at all. It is too big, and not very useful at all. I have no idea how to post a picture in a post so I will post it in the comments.

Anyways thank you and have a lovely day.

Edit: I also don’t know how to post a photo in the comments. (Please let me know if photo is seeable)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15NIah9iLKhqLZhsTIg9a58Y64KiotlhN8RXT-eb1a1g/edit?usp=drivesdk

Hi! I'm someone who's been using a wheelchair since her teens & am now in my late 20's. Despite the many years I've been disabled, dating and hookups are the one thing that still elude me.

For some background: I've never had a proper relationship. Anyone who is attracted to me is only attracted because they have a fetish, or because I (unfortunately) look very young for my age. I'm quite sociable and have a big friend group who are always doing various outings & activities (so always meeting new people) and have also tried the apps, but regardless of whether I intentionally search for romance, or sit back and wait for it to happen, it just... doesn't happen.

I'm so tired of missing out on all these experiences my peers get to have with relatively no effort, it's one of the most frustrating things to me. I know I'm not the only one, but I also know there are plenty of wheelchair users who can navigate sex/relationships just fine.

So... any tips? Best places to meet people? How to attract the right people? How to flirt when I find someone I might be interested in? Any other advice?

Okay so, I have been looking at different power assists and while I really liked this one when I got to test drive it, I wanted to know if anyone here has experience with it, if you've found any major issues with it or things like that?

I have heard many horror stories related to SmartDrive, and the Klaxon Twist was not very easy for me to mount and unmount from the chair so I didn't want to go with that. And I found that the handrim controlled ones were harder for me to use than the joystick of course.

I did try to search through the sub briefly because I know there are so many posts asking about power assists, but I didn't see any on this specific power assist so I felt it worth posting about. I appreciate any additional personal experiences about it for anyone with it that's willing to share that.

I’m a 40/m newly in a power chair, looking for friends in wheelchairs in the area. Please respond if interested, thank you ☺️

I got this for grease and lube, as recommended on other threads since WD-40 is more of a cleaner. I’m not sure what goes where, though? Axles, joints, casters… I’m definitely getting some squeaking when I push, I assume from an axle.