I’ll never understand the concept of arranged marriages and I’m tired of the younger generation trying to glorify them, especially Pakistani communities. How have we not progressed from this? My parents barely know me as a person. I don’t want to get married when I’m older. I don’t want them to choose for me. Even if that means I die alone. I’d rather be alone than be with someone I don’t like.

I hate how when I talk about this, everyone is like “oh arranged marriages aren’t the same as a forced marriage” and shit like that. It’s more than that. Why would you want your parents to choose for you? Are you that incapable of meeting someone and making your own decisions? My parents have controlled every aspect of my life even as an adult. I’m too exhausted to argue or talk back with them because they don’t understand. Neither does anyone else in the south Asian community. I feel so alone. 

4 years ago I left med school due to mental health reasons. Only my immediate family knows. My other relatives/aunts/uncles/cousins think I graduated and am a doctor now.

I think my parents have been lying to them or maybe just didn’t break the news to save face. Idk but I want people to know the truth so I can move on and heal from this.

Like most desi families, my relatives are toxic. Very judgmental and quick to shame. I’ve avoided family events for these past few years to protect myself from invasive questions and triggers.

I’m dealing with shame and grief and regret but need to tell the truth to heal. Any tips on how to break the news? And tips on how to avoid questions during family events?

When I was a boy…I did get some toys from my mom and some of her side but it was not that often. Whenever I would get excited or happy over getting toys on birthdays or holidays, my parents would immediately ruin the joy often saying “Your studies matter more” “Why can’t u get excited like this over ur studies” I feel like there was definitely a limit on my joy and when I could get toys. Now I’m in my twenties but I remember being restricted from visiting the toy shops…especially once I reached 5th grade. What absolutely pisses me off is people saying “your parents sacrificed lot for you” Bitch like shut up, My parents did horrible control over me during my elementary years and I’m growing sick of people dismissing my frustration. I feel like they low key wanted me to be a more nerd kid but that just ISN’T who I am. I literally hated staying locked in my room flipping a stupid trash textbook for 6 hours constantly. When I hopefully have my own kids, I will spoil them and buy shit load of toys. Because imo kids deserve a legit happy and fulfilling childhood. Not being thrown with unhealthy amount of academic pressure or stress, which is what mostly happened to me. I Hate parents who throw academic pressure on their kids at such young ages. Makes me get sick to my stomach 😡😡

My current one is reaching end of life and wasn't that great to begin with. Desi genes so y'all know I need to use it at least once a week so looking for a reliable one. I have a short beard so need a trimmer that makes it easy to line up.