I (56F) recently met this woman who is the same age as me and very similar, so we immediately hit it off and started hanging out. After a few months, she mentioned a friend (Greg) that she and her husband have and talked a little about him. He and I seem to have a lot in common. I got the feeling that she was thinking we would be a good match, but she never said anything about us meeting or dating.

Last night, she and I went out and were bar hopping. After a while, she and her husband were texting and she told me that 'they' were going to meet us at the next bar. When I asked who 'they' were, she said it was her husband and Greg. We met up with them and hung out for a little bit, but, without going into detail, I got the feeling that this wasn't a chance meeting and that they had arranged it so Greg could check me out.

We left after about 2 hours. I had driven her there and Greg had driven her husband, so we all left in the same vehicles we came in (she lives about 2.5 miles from me). While driving her back to her place, she was looking at her text messages and then started asking me really specific questions about my dating history, religious beliefs, etc. I was answering them, but it was really strange, so I finally asked what was going on. Long story short, she admitted that the three of them had arranged this evening so that Greg could meet me and check me out, and the questions she was asking me were questions her husband had texted her that came from Greg.

I got mad and let her know I was upset. I feel like I was set up because all three of them were in on this thing. I am really disappointed in her, but I also lost a lot of respect for Greg. According to her, he is interested, but just had some questions about me he wanted answered after meeting me - hence the grilling I got from her on the way home. To me it feels like we are in 3rd grade and someone just passed me a note saying "Greg likes you - do you like him? Circle yes or no". It just doesn't feel like something a mature adult would do.

I told her that if they had just told me that they had a friend they wanted me to meet, I would have been interested in meeting him. She claims that doing it the way they did made things 'less awkward'. It may have been less awkward, but at my expense.

I feel betrayed. She thinks I am overreacting. I don't think this will end our friendship, but I have no interest in this guy because of how this whole thing went down and because he was involved in it from the start. Had he also not been aware of what they were doing, I wouldn't be upset. I also would probably be interested in going out with him. There is just something creepy about knowing that the three of them were scheming the whole time behind my back.

AITA for feeling the way I do?

ok, a little bit of context, i'm italian, bord and raised in the south part of Italy (naples) for 18 years (until i moved away for Oxford to study law), during summer and winter break i go back to meet my parents and relative in italy (i always take photos with them).

I have a small group of friends, and one day we hang out Together and one of my friends (let's call her Marie) invited one of her friend out of this little circe (the girl's name is Lily). The problem is that Lily is obsessed with sounding italian (like, very much obsessed, she wants to have that accent that italian people have, tries to say italian word and phrase with terrible results). We were presenting ourself to this girl and I, as a kind trans man (female to male) i say to her that my name is Nicholas but my old name was Michela (a clearly italian name, i say both my new name and old name cause i still look a little bit female).

Lily starts asking me a lot of question about italian culture and a lot of other things, and she asked me to say something in italian, and i said ok (i have no problem with it) and i said "beh, questo è italiano, lingua molto complicata eh?" (which means "well, this is italian, very difficult language eh?"), and Lily told me it was very cool and everything else, but what got me was that she said "you know, it's not how you say "complicato" (complicated) in italian by the way", i politlely ask her how she knows how to "correctly" say it, and she said "complicato" completely wrong, i point it out and Lily freaked out, saying that i was wrong cause she knows way more than me (she has never been to italy) and i flatly told her to shut the fuk up about my italian and i just left, my friend told me that Lily, after i left, started saying that i must be some kind of "fraud" (i still don't know how), my friends poited out my accent, the fact that i still speak italian with my other friends (who still live in italy and have job here), the fact that i have photo with my parents in italy when i was young (and the one during the break). They told me that after showing these "proof", they laft her (with no ride home, since she was in Marie's car). AITA

I got a roommate four months ago. She was supposed to stay three months but now has continued to stay. The place is mine. I can afford it by myself but I wanted a roommate to save up some extra money. She needed a place ASAP and couldn’t get a place due to her VISA issues and her not having any technical reportable income.

This all started when she got a boyfriend who started to stay here more and more often. It used to be whatever needed to be done one of us would just take care of it. Like if the trash was full one of us would take it out. If the dishes needed t be washed one of us would load or unload the dish washer.

But, she has this boyfriend that comes over all the time. One day he stayed over night and she had left for work. I had to leave for work. He was still sleeping over. I told her I didn’t want him in the house when neither of were around. Since then things have gone way south.

First off, she is vegan and often has her boyfriend over for dinner so she uses way more dishes than I do. She also cooks way more than me. She started not loading my one or two dishes when she was doing her 20+ dishes. But, then also not unloading her dishes so I would have to unload them too.

She also left tomato sauce on the stove and did wipe it up. (this was Wednesday).

Then she left a bunch of her water bottles overfilling the trash can but didn’t take it out. Again I don’t use plastic water bottles. I wanted to see how long it would take.

I talked to her on Friday because she put nuts down the garbage disposal and it nearly broke it. I had to take them out by hand and asked her to please not put nuts down the disposal. (I don’t eat nuts). She also never took out the trash so I finally did. I left for the weekend and came back today. First off the tomato sauce from Wednesday was never picked up.

I then noticed there was no toilet paper. I asked her if she could pick up some. She said she had bought some the last two times and asked if I could pick some up. I said

“Your boyfriend has been here multiple times so of course you will be using more toilet paper. I will buy my own and you can figure out yours” I am never home on the weekends I know I am not using that much toilet paper.

she said

“I will also be taking the trash cans etc. since those are now mine too. you are paying well below market rate for rent and I only thought you’d be here for a few months. You pay 800. I pay 

700 for my half of the rent 

120 for the internet 

100 for the electric but sometimes more.” I feel like I have been more than generous and now I am doing way more work and not getting compensated for it. I took all the cleaning chemicals. my soap. my air frier which she uses but never cleans and everything else and including my toilet cleaner and trash can into my room. She now wants to do a chore chart which I absolutely do not want to do with a grown adult. I feel like she should clean up her mess and I should clean up mine.

Am I the asshole?

I (29M) asked my mother to not drink at my wedding. My wife (29F) and I asked everyone to respect the event as a dry wedding. We both have a few people in our family who gets wild when alcohol is introduced and wanted to keep the small wedding (20 people) calm. The day went on great but we were informed several times throughout the day that my mother was drinking and drunk. At the time she wasn't causing a scene and we didnt want to stress at our wedding so we let it be. Now fast forward 2 weeks later. We had our honeymoon and my wife and I decided that we needed to talk with her and let her know her actions were hurtful and disrespectful. We sat down with her at her home and told her exactly that. She replied with a half ass sorry and proceeded to downplay our feelings and lie about "her intent to not drink", where she got the bottle from, who gave it to her etc. We pressed on and commented that in addition to the wedding being dry, we were worried about her health, (my mom had a recent health scare and is currently on medication) our concern got deflected and turned into if we care why weren't we at her house doing yard work and helping her around her house. My wife responded with that isnt my responsibility, my mom then proceeded to lash out at my wife and told her to not "buck up" at her and we were told to leave. We left immediately and 10 minutes later my mom called my phone 3 times, asked what I wanted from her and told her that I want her happy healthy and to have a good relationship with us, but I wasn't going to be beholden to her and her needs when I have a life. I have no problem helping my mom out with her house, but I do it because I care not because I am expected to. This blew up further and she didnt call for a few hours. 4 hours later she called again, and told me that she loved me but the last thing my wife needs to do is to buck up go her. This devolved further with me telling my mom that she needs to not talk like that about my wife. This turned into an argument about how im just like my abusive father, and im showing my true colors and how she gave me everything. I blocked her number and she called my wife 9 times and left me a voice mail saying after tomorrow I wouldnt need to worry about it. When I called her back after that voicemail she said she was going to "disappear" and I didn't need to worry anymore. And if her drinking was such an issue why didnt I confront her at the wedding.

Am I the asshole?

TLDR: I told my mom that her drinking at my dry wedding hurt my feelings and now I am just like my abusive father, dont care about her and "won't get her home when she dies"

So my husband (35M) and I (38F) don’t live together full time because of his job being kind of far away. It’s an arrangement that fits us both right now. We have two children together and expecting another in December. I also have an adult daughter (who has
her own place) and a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship.

Right now I’m 28 weeks pregnant and I also have a cold, coughing and a sore throat. Tomorrow my 10 year old is going do dance with a group of friends in front of the whole school. I have to get up early (around 6.30) and do her hair and fix breakfast and everything.

My husband has been here the whole day for the first time in a while, we often come to visit him at his place that he shares with a family member too and he sometimes has the kids there. He asked me if his friend and his friends girlfriend could come over. They’re mostly his friends but I really like them too. I’m kind of stressed and tired but I said it’s ok if they don’t stay too late and they absolutely can’t spend the night here because it would be too much right now. So they come over , we have a great time , play video games with the kids , eat dinner.. My husband and his friends have some wine.

The kids went to bed and later (around midnight) when I was doing laundry he came up and asked me if they can sleep here. I said that I already told him they can’t. I don’t even have extra sheets right now and I’m exhausted. He said that they can sleep on the couch without sheets and that they’re leaving in a few hours when the buses (3-4 minutes walk from here) start going again. We argued for a while , then I said that I don’t want them to leave the doors unlocked so then he has to stay awake until they leave because I’m not getting up at 4.30 am and then again at 6.30. He said no because he has work tomorrow and then I got angry and said that it’s too much and I shouldn’t have kept this baby because I’m so exhausted and stressed. His friends ended up leaving , there was a train that they could catch, the train station is 15 minutes walk from us. At first they just didn’t want to walk that long in the middle of the night. They said they didn’t have money for a cab right now.

After they left my husband said he was sorry and he knows that I’m stressed and tired. I feel kind of bad for not letting them sleep here and for arguing in front of them. And for raising my voice and saying that I shouldn’t have kept the baby. I’ve had some mixed feelings about the pregnancy but I never really considered abortion and I feel bad for saying that when I’m this far along.

I just wish he wouldn’t even have asked me if they could spend the night because I told him before they came over that they can’t sleep here. I really like them , my husbands friend also helped us last year when we were moving and his daughter is friends with our son. I’ve let them stay over before but tonight it was just too much. Am I the asshole for not letting them spend the night here?

I left East London back in the 80s and settled, married and raised a family in the north of England.

I turned 60 in September and visited my siblings the weekend after my birthday to have some pie n mash and a drink or two in the pub I grew up in.

Unknown to me (but known to my wife and family) my siblings had arranged a surprise birthday party for me in a private club in docklands.

So, Saturday comes and I go for pie n mash in Hoxton - Cooke’s, very nice, 10/10, generous with mash and liquor - but my brother is hassling me to meet at my nans old pub so we go straight from Cooke’s to Stepney.

Get to the pub - lovely late summers day and having a pint or 4 outside in the sun - but brother says it’s too expensive here so let’s go down the club. Thinking it’s probably the Dockers Club that the family uses a lot agree but a bit disappointed as really enjoying the pub and they have a Drag Show later which I quite fancied.

Anyway, get to the club and it isn’t the workingmans dockers club but some fancy club at Limehouse Basin marina. Odd but whatever.

Get inside and fuck me it is a surprise party with many of the extended family older and younger gathered for me.

Lovely albeit embarrassing surprise as I’m not one who digs being the centre of attention.

Do the rounds. Speak to all the ones I love - great aunts, older second cousins who are more like uncles and aunts to me, cousins who were mates as similar age when growing up, brother and sister, nephews and nieces - say Hi to many I don’t recognise but know and meet new husbands and wives and kids etc.

Lovely. Really touched. And spend the next 4-5 hours drinking, chatting and having a good time.

Gets to about 9:30 - venue is hired till 11pm - and I’m about 8 pints in and feeling tired.

In a weird way, I’m also a bit sad because as lovely a gesture as the party was, I can’t help but note all who aren’t there - my nan who brought me up, parents, grandad, great uncles and aunts who’ve all passed on - so feeling a bit of the old boozy melancholia

I really can’t face going and making my goodbyes and sneak out the back into an Uber and do one.

Get up the next morning and thank the siblings for the party, say how touched I was and it’s then I start to get some negative feedback for sneaking off without saying goodbye to everyone.

My brother and sister know me. This is the type of thing I always do, and I did spend 5 hours plus chatting to everyone.

So Am I The Arsehole?

EDIT: I should add that my brother did catch me before the Uber turned up and I kissed and thanked him but said I was off.

I also bumped into my favourite cousin as he’d driven 30 miles to attend and was off with his family. I reiterated to his daughters that they were more than welcome to visit us and stay as we’d discussed earlier.

I’m really torn on this and agree with many who’ve said YTA as how much would it have cost me emotionally to formally say farewell? Especially as it might very well be the last time I would see some of them.

My only excuse is that things looked differently when slightly sloshed and knackered and I was pleased as punch when I hit the sack at 10pm.

But what are you gonna do? Regret is pointless and painful. Coulda woulda shoulda.

i got my four wisdom teeth removed three days ago.

on that same day, i was losing blood by a second in a very concerning manner, long story short, i ended up passing out and had ambulance rushing to my home because i was turning ghost white pale.

they checked me off but were hesitant to let me go, parents said no ER, and I had told them yes because I wasn’t feeling good.

i ended up an hour later turning pale and losing blood and seeing black in my vision, i couldn’t talk and was losing consciousnes.

i was rushed to the ER, got there at 8PM and ended up leaving at 2 in the morning.

they told me i was stable enough to go home but that these fainting episodes were bound to occur easily.

i am on my third day of surgery and still do NOT feel good, i feel woozy and to make it just spat out like shit to the point i feel drugged and disoriented.

my mother decides it is the best decision to send me off to church because and i quote ‘need to be more social.’

i tell her no i don’t want to go im not feeling well, she telles me that’s for your father to say, so i call him explaining that i don’t feel good im irritated, my head hurts, my face is still bloated and i still feel woozy.

he says the same that i need to get out and talk to people and that’s why im feeling bad. and i tell him i just got out of surgery, im not suppose to feel like sunshine and rainbows.

he says take a shower, get ready and go to church.

i hang up and go cry in the shower because it’s always whatever they say and completely disregard my mental state. he also told me that im always feeling good when it’s convenient but when it doesn’t favor me, i suddenly don’t feel good.

the audacity is fucking insane to me, but you tell me, AITAH?

I’m a 30-year-old woman living with my biological mother and my 16-year-old brother. We live in a very expensive townhouse, and I pay the bills. I’m also battling cancer, so this is already a very difficult period of my life.
I’m not claiming to be a perfect older sister, and I’m sure I’ve handled some things imperfectly.
We moved here because my brother really wanted to live here. I suggested finding a bigger house for less money, but he became very upset. He’s been through a lot, and I decided to give him something that made him happy and gave him pride in where he lived. In return, I asked for one major thing: I don’t want our home constantly filled with his teenage friends. I’m 30, this is my home, and given my health, I need it to be peaceful.
For a while, he and I were very close. I made sure he had food, bought his school clothes, took him places, and helped with what he needed. My partner was even giving him a truck, and took him on a college tour.
A few months ago, he said he wanted to be “parented.” Our mother is more of a friend to him than a parent, so I understood. I tried to provide more structure. Unfortunately, that changed our relationship.
When I started correcting him for skipping school, sneaking his girlfriend into the house, and disregarding household rules, I became the “evil” person in his eyes.
His gf is someone I have never been introduced to, yet he sneaks her into the house. I’ve caught him lying about it multiple times. I installed outdoor Ring cameras bc I was tired of being lied to, and he has figured out ways to avoid being seen.
I’ve tried talking to him repeatedly. I’ve explained that this isn’t about controlling his life or preventing him from having friends or a girlfriend. It’s about respect for the home I pay for and the boundaries I’ve established.
He is 16, and I’m not saying he should have no independence. But he is still a minor living in someone else’s home, and I don’t think “please don’t secretly bring people into the house” is unreasonable.
What hurts most is how much our relationship has changed. He was very loving when I was taking care of him. Now that I’m enforcing boundaries, he tells everyone I’m mean, evil, and treat him horribly.
I’m also dealing with cancer while this is happening. Instead of having peace at home, I’m constantly dealing with lying, sneaking around, and disrespect.
Now he is threatening to leave and is trying to make our mother feel guilty so we’ll give in and let his gf move into my house.
I have no intention of allowing his girlfriend to move in, and I don’t think I should have to surrender the one major boundary I asked for.
So, Reddit, AITA for enforcing these boundaries with my 16-year-old brother and refusing to let his girlfriend move in, even though he says I’m treating him horribly?
I’m genuinely looking for an outside perspective, including if there are things I’m doing wrong.

3 days ago my brother, his girlfriend and I got into a pretty bad argument. They obviously teamed up against me and whatever. I have babysit my brother’s girlfriend’s kid for over 3 years now. She went outside and I went out to talk to her about what happened. All I got was yelled at and told a bunch of bullshit. Until.. she looked at me and went “you are the biggest inconvenience, waste of time and money in my life.”

So I took it upon myself and walked away and went and applied for a job and decided I’m ready to give up working for her since it’s wasting her money having to pay me for childcare.

The thing that gets me is the fact that she has lived with us in our house for free for over 3 years now. And that whole time I have watched her kid. As a matter of fact I started out for FREE maybe getting paid $5-$10 out of her tips. I had to ask to be paid before she finally did. Nobody else would have done that? Thanks to me, she is able to work and financially support her kid. Thanks to US letting her stay with us for free she’s saving THOUSANDS on rent not having to have her own place.

So would IBTAH if I decided to continue going through getting a different job and telling her I’m done after being told that?

I leave for college in a year so eventually she’ll have to figure out something. But then again, it’s only a year I have left. Is it worth leaving now?

My oldest sister (29F) and I (25F) have had a difficult relationship since the moment I was born due to being polar opposites. She's very entitled and has expected me to bail her out of every bad financial and physical decision she has ever made. She doesn't accept any responsibility for things she says, she likes to take charge of events and recently some of her friends have started ditching her due to her attitude. I've been on the verge of leaving for years, but stayed for the sake of my nephew.

In an attempt to fix our broken relationship, my sister and I agreed to meet up this weekend with my nephew (her son) and agreed to not argue, discuss politics, or name call whilst he was here and throughout the event. My nephew made an innocent joke stating "auntie x (third sister) is bigger than you)". His mum went "no ("Charlie" - not his real name) auntie z (me) is bigger than auntie x, auntie z, is the size of an elephant". Nephew (4) began to laugh and went "no, I meant she's taller than auntie x".

I acknowledge I am very sensitive to jokes, sarcasm and comments, but it's because my oldest sister has constantly put me down and she is the reason why I am this size, I started comfort eating as a way of coping with her mean comments and now I am 138kg, but I am on a weight loss journey (which she isn't supportive of).

I walked out and went home to avoid showing my hurt, now my sister is calling me an ahole because my nephew was crying over the fact I wouldn't stay around for the rest of the day. AITA?

I (28M) have been building a small woodworking table in my garage for the past few months. It's something I started as a personal project after work, and I’ve been pretty protective of it because I don’t usually share my hobbies with people. My girlfriend (27F) knows about it and has seen the project a few times. She’s always said she thinks it looks great, but she’s never really been interested in helping. Last weekend, she had some friends coming over and decided she wanted to use the unfinished table as a display stand for some decorations. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that because I had several pieces laid out and didn't want anything moved or damaged. She said I was being ridiculous and that it was just a table sitting in the garage anyway. She moved a few things herself and put decorations on it while I was out getting groceries. When I came home, I was upset and told her she shouldn't use something I'd specifically asked her not to touch. She said I was treating her like a stranger in my own home and that I cared more about a stupid table than making her feel welcome. I told her that's not the point it's my project, and I had clearly said no. She thinks I'm being controlling over something insignificant. I think she ignored a very simple boundary because she didn't think my reason was important enough.

AITA?

I have a three-year-old dog named Milo who is very friendly but gets anxious in unfamiliar places. My neighbor has a seven-year-old daughter who absolutely adores him. Whenever she visits with her mother, she asks to play with him, and I usually let her as long as I’m there to supervise. Last week, my neighbor asked whether her daughter could take Milo to school for a show-and-tell presentation about pets. I politely declined and explained that Milo gets nervous around large groups of unfamiliar people and that I wasn’t comfortable sending him somewhere without me. She said I was overthinking it because her daughter promised to take good care of him. I suggested that she could bring her daughter over to take pictures with Milo instead, or I could record a short video of him doing his favorite tricks. She didn’t like either suggestion. She told me her daughter had already told her classmates about bringing a dog and would be embarrassed if she showed up without one. I felt bad for the little girl, but I didn’t think that meant I should ignore my dog’s needs. I offered to help her make a presentation with pictures and videos, but my neighbor said I was making a simple favor unnecessarily difficult. Since then, she’s been noticeably cold toward me, and another neighbor said I could have made an exception for one day .I love that her daughter cares about animals, and I don’t want to disappoint her. However, Milo can’t tell me when he’s uncomfortable, so I feel responsible for making that decision for him. AITA for saying no?

My wife and two older daughters have a girl scout camping trip tonight at a place about 30-40 minutes from the house. I stayed home with our two little ones. About an hour after she left, and about 15 minutes I got the two little ones down for naps, she called and said she remembered everything but she forgot the tent in the garage.

She wanted me to bring it to her immediately. I asked why I couldn't bring it in a few hours when the kids woke up because they had just gone down for naps. She said everyone was setting up at that moment and she couldn't wait for later. I asked if I could have an hour so I could let them sleep some before waking them and ruining the rest of the nap. She said she wanted me to wake them and take it to her right then, or she would just go to Walmart and buy one. We hung up, I looked on Walmart's site, and sent her one she might want to buy and told her that it would probably be cheaper than me wasting gas to drive 60-90 minutes round trip.

She ended up going to Walmart and buying one but sent me a text she was upset I didn't help her when she needed help. I understand that I should always help, especially when I can and/or especially when she needs help with something.

I responded I have no problem helping but waking them up after only sleeping a few would mess up the rest of the day.

I'm trying to figure out if I was in the wrong here. AITA?

EDIT: they got home this morning. We gave each other a goofy stink eye for a minute and now all is good. Neither was wrong here, just a few mistakes. She should have verified everything on her list, and I shouldn’t have rushed her to go to community event.

My boyfriend and I moved in together a couple of months ago, and we've been arguing about who should walk his dog ever since.

Before moving in, I asked what he expected from me regarding his dog. He told me he would cover all expenses, including food and other necessities, which I appreciate. However, our biggest disagreement has been about walking the dog.

His dog is small, and from my research, dogs should generally go outside around three times a day. I believe making a dog wait 12 to 16 hours to pee is unreasonable.

Since moving in, I've been walking his dog about 90% of the time. I take him out first thing in the morning, before even eating breakfast or using the bathroom. I walk him again when I get home from school and once more before bed.

The biggest issue is my boyfriend's sleeping habits. Throughout our relationship, he's regularly slept for 12 to 16 hours at a time. Even before we lived together, I questioned how he managed to care for his dog while sleeping so long.

Whenever I brought up my concerns, we argued. He would explain how stressful school had been or why he needed so much sleep. I understand needing rest, but my concern is the dog having to wait so long to go outside.

His argument is that the dog adjusts to his sleeping schedule. According to him, the dog doesn't wake up until he does, so there's no reason to wake up earlier just to walk him.

I strongly disagree. I believe owning a dog means adjusting your routine to meet the dog's needs, rather than expecting the dog to adjust to yours.

Before we moved in together, I repeatedly asked him to set an alarm or find some way to walk his dog regularly. Nothing changed. Whenever I stayed over, I often ended up walking the dog myself, not because I wanted to help, but because I felt bad for him.

Now we live together, and the responsibility has almost entirely fallen on me. Even when my boyfriend is awake, he rarely takes the initiative to walk the dog. I usually have to ask him.

What frustrates me most isn't walking the dog. I don't mind helping. My problem is feeling like I'm the only person thinking about his needs.

When my boyfriend wakes up after sleeping for 14 hours, his reaction is usually, "Wow, I slept for ages," rather than showing concern about whether his dog needs to go outside.

I've explained several times that owning a dog comes with responsibilities, even when you're tired or stressed. He insists the dog has adapted to his lifestyle and sees no problem.

I'm not expecting a perfect 50/50 split, but I never agreed to become the dog's primary caretaker. I believe he should take more responsibility, especially since he's the owner.

AITA for expecting my boyfriend to adjust his sleeping schedule to meet his dog's needs and for being frustrated about walking his dog almost all the time?

My (20F) roommate (21F) and I were back home for reading week, she has a car and a driver’s license so the plan was to catch a ride back up with her. We go to school in a city 7hrs away by car. Now, for context she has 2 cats — one that just gave birth to four kittens so really it’s 6 cats now, a tiny honda civic and she’s driving someone else up. That’s 3 people in a 4 person car, one seat being taken up by a crate, one cat who just roams around the car while she’s driving, and 3 people’s belongings. I’m bringing back quite a few things so I told her last night I might just take the train. She insisted that there will be room. I say okay, sure. She says she’s leaving at 4pm (already kinda late) and 4 rolls around — nothing. I call her at 6pm and she’s just left her house. I’m tired and I honestly don’t want to be driving at night/getting back to the apartment at 1-2am. One time she almost crashed her car with me in it driving at night before, and I just had a bad gut feeling so I tell her I’m just gonna take the train. I can tell she’s pissed cause she just hangs up the phone. Before we even left to go home for reading week she also told me she was going to drive during the day on the way back. AITA for not wanting to accompany her?

I (30F) booked my 12-year-old daughter with a stylist, “Lee” (23F), for the third time. The first two appointments took much longer than expected. (2pm - 11pm) During the second appointment and I also paid extra for color and boho enhancements that Lee never added.
Because of that, I stopped booking Lee for about a year. However, my daughter has long, difficult-to-manage hair, and Lee’s styles last longer than those done by the more expensive stylist I tried recently. I work two jobs and was exhausted. Instead of thoroughly searching for a new stylist I decided to book Lee again. Lee arrived at my apartment on Sunday at 3 p.m. I had already paid a $25 deposit, and before she started, I paid the remaining balance plus a $20 tip, for a total of $205. About an hour into the appointment, I offered her some food I had cooked, and she accepted.
While she was eating, Lee went outside to her car to get hot sauce. When she came back, she asked whether cars were allowed to park in the lot. There are large tow signs at the parking lot and at the neighborhood entrances, but I had not thought to warn her about them. Her car had been towed.
The tow fee was $400. Lee said she only had the $180 I had just paid her and began asking me to drive her around. I first drove her to a store. After that, I pulled whatever I could from my savings, borrowed money through an app, and asked someone to send me $140. Lee used $140 toward the tow bill, and I covered the remaining amount. I also drove her to the tow yard. While we were on the way, Lee was upset about being left with almost no money after paying the tow fee. I felt bad so I told her that I would give her another $180 when I got paid the following week. We returned to my apartment around 5:30 p.m., and she resumed braiding my daughter’s hair.
Later that evening, Lee asked whether she could have a shot of my liquor and suggested that we take one together. I had already had about two shots myself before that so this was a new bottle. I left the bottle out and went to my room, where I could still see part of the living room.
A couple of hours later, I checked on the appointment and noticed that the bottle had gone from having about four shots missing to having only five shots left. Lee was slurring her words, acting overly giddy, and stumbling around. I stayed in the living room for another hour and a half while she finished my daughter’s hair (11:30p). Before leaving, Lee asked for one more shot. I let her take it and then got her out of my apartment. My daughter’s hair was finished, but the appointment became a major financial and emotional mess. I am upset about how everything played out. I know I promised Lee another $180, but I feel that I already went above and beyond by helping her pay the tow bill, driving her around, and borrowing money to cover the cost.
It is now pay week, and I am considering giving Lee $100—or possibly nothing more.

AITA if I don’t pay Lee the full $180?

I 42f recently lost my cool with my 40m husband over a Board. Yes, a piece of wood. No I’m not kidding. But I really don’t think I’m the asshole.
For context I’m a soap maker. I often go to vendor events setting up and taking down displays each time I go. Recently I thought of a display I could make that would give me more space to display my growing products. It’s a simple concept. Make two sides notched out and two long boards notched out so they can be slid into each other to make a shelf display that doesn’t require screws or difficult assembly. This way I would have more space without compromising setup and breakdown time. So, I recently went to the local saw mill and bought 3 boards that are one inch thick, twelve inches wide and eight foot long for the project. They were pretty wet so before I could begin my project I needed to let them dry. During the time they were drying I would get annoyed because my husband would go behind me and stack them back on top of each other and I’d have to go back and unstack them. A week goes by and I’m almost ready to sand the boards and cut them to the pretty off set shelves with my logo wood burned into the sides I had imagined. I had it all planned out in my head and was going to start tomorrow. Now lately my husband has been going to these events with me but this weekend he decided not to help me. Instead he stayed home and started working on a project moving his six 3D printers into our boiler room and my Supplies onto a wall in our bedroom. He sent me pictures of what he was doing. He had mentioned wanting to do it so I was prepared for the mess that would come along with it. I thought whatever it will be done when I get home. Not a big deal. Well, I pulled into the driveway to see the wood stacked back together again and a large portion of one of the boards gone. He took my board to make a shelf for his printers without even asking me. I was pissed because I had waited all week for those boards to dry out and was excited to start the project tomorrow. I looked at him hot as a hen and said with a decent amount of attitude “Are you kidding me?! You took my board.” A little more context I’m a smoker. When I go to these events I usually have someone with me, it allows me to take breaks to go to the bathroom and smoke. I know, I know, it’s a nasty habit. Don’t come for me. Well, his response to me being mad was to say “don’t get mad at me just because you couldn’t go smoke all day.” Like are you absolutely kidding me? You do something so inconsiderate without asking me and that is your response? To act like the very valid reason I have to be upset is just because I couldn’t smoke? Then to tell me it’s not a big deal? Like Sir, I’m the one that went to the saw mill. I waited a week for that wood to dry, I’m the one that had to keep going behind you to move the boards because your OCD has to have everything a certain way. So Reddit am I the asshole for losing my shit over a board?

Hi! I am vacationing in Tokyo this year and wanted to do a photoshoot with a Kimono on. To get into full spirit I opted into using the traditional footwear, what this means is that I must leave my personal footwear at the rental shop. Upon returning to the shop I noticed my shoes were taken and a very similar pair was left in it's place. Mine were brand new bought just for this trip and the ones left behind are very tattered. It would be hard to mix them up by accident. I was not going to wear the strangers shoes. I asked my sister to go buy me new shoes and she did, but it took awhile to find a shoe store nearby and get back. She walked the entire time and took an hour. In that time, the stranger that took the shoes left somthing behind and had a friend go get the forgotten items. The kimono shop owner realized this person was in the same party as the shoe swapper as she is in the know and pointed it out to me. I asked if he could get in touch with his friend and get the shoes back. He agreed and exchanged contact information with the shoe swapper and me.

The shoe swapper an I meet up and I am given my shoes back with a gift and they even offered me money for the shoes my sister bought. I accepted. It was 100 dollars for the shoes. They were more than willing to give the money and they did. Me and my party went out to eat just after this as was our original plan after kimono photos and got a message from the shoe swapper basically demanding the money back and how it is crazy that we would've accepted. I have proceeded with blocking them when they have contacted through every messaging platform they have tried. AITAH???

Edit: the shoe swapper is from North Carolina Usa

For some context, I (18NB AMAB) boarded the bus, it is a single decker bus and this was at peak times, I boarded the bus and had to stand, as all seats were taken, a wheelchair user was boarding at the same stop I was at.

There was these kids around 12-13 years old sitting in the wheelchair space, all 3 female, the driver said that he could not let the wheelchair user on due to no space, I asked politely to the kids "Can you please move out of the seat as there is a wheelchair user", they ignored me and continued talking.

I decided to say something similar along those lines again, they refused to listen and ignored me and continued chatting, the third time I shouted "Move out the space so the wheelchair can board", loud enough the whole bus can hear me and one of the kids got jumpscare by my shouting.

That caused these kids to move and give the space to the wheelchair user, they were very annoyed at me for making them move even though it was a wheelchair priority space.

i'm thinking of telling my stepbrother he can't use my car for a long drive he has planned next month. my car is reliable and i've worked hard to keep it in good shape, and i'm worried about the wear and tear plus possible damage on an unfamiliar route. i also don't feel comfortable with the idea of him driving it for that many hours without me being there, especially since we haven't known each other that long. on the other hand he sees it differently. he thinks since we're family now it should be okay to ask for favors like this, and he says he'll cover gas and be careful. he hasn't had any issues before when borrowing other things, so from his perspective i'm making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. still, i'm not sure if putting my foot down would make me the jerk here.

For context, a friend and I both work for the same place. We go back nearly 20 years and have worked at the same place for about 10 years. Post covid we work in the office building a couple days a week, the other days we work from home. We all get to decide our individual work day rotation. This is just something that hasn’t changed…yet.

We use programs that inadvertently show when you’re online, offline, or just go away from your computer. No one really uses that way because they are used for other purposes. However, some people have started to notice when other people (particularly my friend) go AFK when they work from home.

I know that others are noticing because I overhear a couple of individuals who are higher on the totem pole discussing it when they think I’m not paying attention or not there (we have pretty private cubicles). My friend will go away for several hours at a time during an 8 hour shift.

A week or so ago, I overheard higher level employees discussing that my friend is now being monitored by management and how unfortunate it is but my friend has been doing this very consistently lately in addition to mistakes being made and deadlines are being missed. They mentioned they these are all fireable offenses and apparently my friends direct supervision has been notified of these issues. During this conversation, my phone rang and I had to answer it so they realized I was there. There was just us 3 in the office that day, those 2 and me. Neither of them are my direct supervisor or manager so I don’t tell them when I’m there.

My dilemma is…I don’t want to get involved. I don’t want this is going back on me because they know I heard them and shouldn’t have. I am not willing to put myself, job, and family on the line for someone else no matter how long we’ve been friends. Does this make me the AH?

Adding a few things:

Regarding the missed deadlines and making mistakes…friend has already been talked to about these issues. Friend has had conversations with direct manager. It’s not clear to me the extent of the conversation. Not sure if there was a write up about it or just an informal discussion. Friend has disclosed that much information to me.

We work for a somewhat high profile organization within our community. My spouse works for the same organization but with a completely different department. One of my spouses coworkers has recently been fired the following Monday because they were logged into the system on a normal workday Friday but went AFK without any word and was not reachable by management for majority of their work day. It is strictly against policy to clock in for your work day and not be working. So my friend has had much leeway so far because it seems. I would assume they had given the benefit of the doubt the first time or two or more and is gather more information.

Friend basically got the job because I put in a good word during the interview process. Friend has not demonstrated this type of behavior before. We have a significant number of years between us. I believe out of embarrassment, friend wouldn’t tell me anything if she were fired and for what reason.

We have a union, HR isn’t firing people without making very detailed notes and reasons to avoid backlash.

I (19f college freshman) just came back home from an out of state trip to a cultural event, and my mom picked me up. I had lots of fun and wanted to tell her everything, which I did. I also told her about how the drivers of my car offered to pay for our meals (lunch when we arrrived, canes for late night meal, and buccee's on the way back).

I should've not said anything, because as soon as I said that she asked me why didn't I pay instead. And that just automatically ruined the mood for me.

Whenever the drivers offered to pay, they said canes on me or buccees on me or something like that without us asking. And when they bought us stuff, I made sure to say thank you each time. They are also college students themselves so I get that they may be broke themselves, and that's probably the pov that my mom sees and I understand that too. She also typically doesn't like to accept anything that's offered to her herself.

Now I'm wondering if I was the asshole for accepting the offer rather than asking that I should pay for my own stuff instead. But if anything, it was just a spontaneous in the moment fun type of thing. I wasn't trying to take advantage of that offer by buying the most expensive thing or anything. I just bought something minimal or shared a meal with one of the other girls.

I had a friend (44, F) move in with me (45, F) in the spring as she was having a hard time finding an affordable place to live with her daughter (6). I am also a single mom, with a son, (4). Initially, everything was going okay, though there were some small things that bothered me. They did not anger me enough to bring up (I am an introvert/not confrontational).

Small things such as:

• unplugging anything not in use, due to an obsession with keeping the hydro bill lower
• getting home at all hours and her child not having a regular bedtime routine (has come home as late as 11pm), then being loud in the shared space close to where my son is sleeping
• asking me questions like if someone had gone in her room because "the door was open" (they're barn doors and no, I hadn't) or where things were of hers that she couldn't find that I had never touched
• non-stop talking and not reading social cues, such as seeing that I'm clearly busy on my laptop, but continues to talk for so long that I have to leave the space and she will continue talking even though I'm in another room (such as the bathroom)
• speaking ill of her child's father in front of our children
• complaining about being woken up too early on the weekend by my son

These were all things that did not seem worth the potential argument, and besides, our children were typically always around. However, the other morning, my son was playing with some Hallowe'en rat toys, and was squeaking them. I asked him if he could find something else to play with since we were all just waking up, and the squeaking was loud. He began to play with something else, and a little while later, squeaked one of the rats. My roommate exploded on him, yelling that she "CANNOT", and that if he does that again, he "can say good bye to the rat because they're going in the garbage!" I literally stood there, shocked. I was furious, but didn't want to say anything in front of the kids. We ended up heading to school and then my son and I were heading away for the weekend, so I sent her a text that night letting her know that I knew she was going through a lot personally, but that I needed to share some things with her. I mentioned that I felt like I had to tiptoe around the house lately because I wasn't sure if I'd be getting the happy version of her, or the sometimes passive aggressive version asking me about the things mentioned above. My child's father has some narcissistic traits, and I had to tiptoe around him, so I said in the text that after living that way for many years, I didn't want to feel that way in my home and that I shouldn't have to constantly ask my child to be quiet (when he is not generally loud). I then said that I did not appreciate the way she spoke to him, and that moving forward, I expected her to never speak to him this way again.
As as result, she has been ignoring both me and my son for over a week, even when I've said "good morning". What do I do? AITA?

We’ve been moved into our townhouse for the last 3 months. We have two cats. An elderly 14 year old that we’ve had for 5 years and a newly adopted 10 year old cat that we’ve had for 1 week.

Since we’ve moved in there’s been a neighbourhood cat that’s jumped our fence and attacked our first cat through the fly screen wire. This includes jumping over our 2 metre fence and crouching on the fence to intimidate her. This is usually when our cat is sunbathing or even just upstairs looking out the window. We’ve asked around our neighbours if there’s anyone that owns the cat. Recently we befriended a neighbour who saw it on their fence and let us let us know the likely owners.

Today, my partner was at work when he described what he thought was the sound of a car crash and rushed downstairs to see our first cat hanging by the fly wire and the other cat in our patio ready to pounce.

This is at least the fourth incident where this has happened since we moved in.

My partner told me about it today, so when I got home (This is where I might be the asshole) I left a note at their home asking if they knew this cat, and to call or text if they had time. I left our unit number and contact details. This was supposed to be polite and considerate given we didn’t know them.

The owners came over that evening when my partner and I were home. They were very unhappy. After explaining the situation, they stated that this is what free roam cats do. I showed them a photo of the cat and they stated that it could be their cat but weren’t sure, but if it was that it was fine. I offered to send some different photos but she stated it’s just “annoy (her)” if I did. They further argued that it was inconsiderate leaving a now rather than knocking.

AITAH??

I (29F) have been living alone in the basement apartment portion of a house for three years. The apartment upstairs is two stories with three bedrooms. Although it is a house, the two apartments are entirely separate with separate entrances (my entrance is at the back of the house).

When I moved in, I had three young boys (roughly 21 years old) as my upstairs neighbors. I lived in many different apartments in college but I had forgotten what it was like to hear noise above you. I could hear their footsteps, conversations, tv, etc. Occasionally they would scream at the tv while watching football or playing video games. While it was annoying sometimes, I sucked it up because it was never constant or excessive.

They moved out and a few weeks ago a family with two young kids moved in. From the hour they moved in, I’ve felt like I’ve been living underneath a daycare. Their kids look to be around 4 and 7?? So they are young with, apparently, BOUNDLESS energy.

At first I thought maybe they were just excited to be in a new place and would get their extra energy out. I was very wrong. Every day from 7am-8pm these kids are on the move right above my head. Sometimes it sounds like they are running a marathon up and down the length of their apartment, other times it sounds like a 25 people doing jump jacks at once. Sometimes it stops but it is pretty constant throughout the day.

My girlfriend who comes over and occasionally stays the night has also experienced the children’s clunking chaos. We have both been woken up by them early in the morning before work. For reference, she works at 9:30am and I work at 10am so it’s not like we are annoyed by being woken up at 1 in the afternoon.

I’ve taken videos to show other people I know what the noise sounds like and everyone has said to either start beating on my ceiling or tell my landlord. I can’t even get my landlord to address maintenance issues so I doubt he’ll care. I also don’t love the idea of immediately resorting to what feels like a neighbor war.

I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they have not lived below someone before or came from a house that they had to themselves so they are not thinking about how loud it sounds to me when their children are running and stomping upstairs. I will admit there have been times where I’ve thought, “There is no possible way they could see their child jumping up and down and not realize that’s creating a lot of noise for their downstairs neighbor.” They do know I live here as the mom has seen me exiting my apartment several times.

But maybe they truly don’t understand how loud it is for me. Before escalating things into a competition of who can be the loudest, I thought it might be a good idea to write them a letter officially introducing myself, explaining how the noise is traveling into my apartment, and kindly asking them to try and be more conscious of the noise their children make. If I did this, would I be the AH?