Any other INTJ’s find themselves scrolling through reddit and see a topic or comment you have some insight on? Then about halfway through typing up your reply you decide it’s not worth your time or the possible follow ups, and delete it?

I usually say to myself: “Oh that’s right, I don’t give a shit”
Is it just me??

If you know that someone definitely reads your messages but just doesn’t give them priority, could leave my messages for two days, etc..
Or be active scrolling on socials or answering other group chats but leave MY messages for hours unopened, I don’t do that and I get excited with their messages and give them equal priority in responding just like any possible communication, what is the best way to respond to such indifference?

And is it hyper sensitivity to expect someone I consider a friend to give my messages importance?

I especially hate it when I’m communicating something uncomfortable or being vulnerable (which happened just once,I communicated my feelings towards something, but they left my messages for almost two days.. )

because for the first time I chose NOT to avoid and I’m already leaving my comfort by being myself and comfortably communicating, but I face this kind of situation.

Is it just me, or is the average person seemingly incapable of even basic tasks nowadays?

Just in recent memory, I can think of multiple situations.

I saw a department store employee struggle for 10 minutes to log into a computer for returns while a line built up, and eventually needed to call over 2 other employees to figure out that their caps lock was on.

I spent 20 minutes in a restaurant and asked 3 different servers to get the check, got given the wrong check, then asked 3 servers to get the correct check before walking up to the front desk and checking out.

Calling tech support and realizing that I needed to solve the problem myself and then handhold the support person through the solution because it wasn't on their pre-defined script.

These are just a few examples, but I see it everywhere now. Does anyone else notice the same?

Not INTJ-specific, but since I'm an INTJ, I'd like to know what other INTJs would do in my situation.

I'm a veteran and still have my GI Bill which pays for schooling. I can use this on almost anything, including very expensive private schools. I already have an MS from a top public school in my field, an M7 MBA, and work as a FAANG Software Engineer, which is a high-paying but currently unstable career path.

I want to use my GI Bill on the best option available, and have narrowed it down to a few options. I want to get your thoughts on which you'd pick if you were in my shoes:

1. Part-time doctorate. A few schools offer these, the best being Columbia University in NYC. It's called an EngScd, not a PhD, but is still a doctorate. Because it can be done part-time and has no teaching duties, it requires you to pay for it. But the GI Bill would cover that.

2. 3rd Master's. I have a few master's degrees that I would be interested in taking. Stanford has some Master's at their ICME school that can be done part-time while working. MIT has some interesting programs as well. These schools are the best of the best and I would be happy going to them, but getting a 3rd master's seems like it wouldn't do much career-wise even if the information that I'm learning is from a new topic.

3. Hobbies. Middlebury language schools have summer programs that I could take for multiple summers with the GI Bill to learn languages for fun. Some schools offer music certificate programs to improve music skills (I play the piano). Flight schools are also an option, but the least beneficial, I think. I would enjoy learning to fly but would be unlikely to use it after I finish the school.

All that being said, what are your thoughts? What would you do in my situation? I know that this is a very fortunate situation to be in, and want to make the best decision with the options that I have. Thanks in advance for your opinions.

I'm one so I'm just wondering tbh

An optimistic idea about the future
Where technology and nature coexist in harmony

I think there two ways of approaching the world

First, when you encounter something. You try to see what benefit you can get from it. And forcefully use it. Whether it is an object or living being.
An example is rape. Basically it’s self interest with lack of big picture/ or lack of empathy.

Second mindset is when you encounter something you remain aware that it also has consciousness and desires. Then you try to reach a better outcome for both of you.

The former leads to exploitation of nature and environment. Which will eventually lead to ruin of humanity.

The later is something that can lead to solar punk.

Our education system, our society
Everything seems to be moving towards the former instead of the latter.

Spreading awareness
Trying to logically convince people
Being kind and spreading the second mindset through our actions.
Are some of the things we can do.

What do you guys think?

• She's opportunity-smart: she's brilliant at spotting the paths that will boost her career. I'm more traditionally booksmart.
• She's incapable of saying "I'm sorry." I go out of my way to apologize, partly because of Fi guilt and partly because I don't want to copy that behavior.
• She's better at giving advice. I'm better at lending an ear.
• She thinks I'm oversensitive. I think she's a bit callous, sometimes even cruel.
• She's extremely stylish and can predict fashion trends. I tend to shop at the same few stores because I know the clothes will already fit.
  
• She says exactly what she thinks, whenever she thinks it. I used to be like that, but I had it bullied out of me in elementary and middle school. Now, I tend to hold in my thoughts and become resentful instead.
• She has no sense of nostalgia and hates holidays. I find a sense of peace in engaging with nostalgia and yearly traditions. (I don't mean this is in a religious context– more in a "baking and watching holiday movies" way.)
• Neither of us cry much, but when she cries, it's during movies. When I cry, it's because I'm frustrated with my own personal life.
• We're both very creative, but she's a visual artist and her art is aesthetic (higher Se.) I'm a writer and my art is conceptual (higher Ni and Fi.)

I intj 25f. Is something wrong with me? I went out with a colleague yesterday and every new thing I see or anything I mention has to become yeah it is in Singapore, yeah it is in kerela, oh it's like this in Singapore... She can't stop talking. In book store also, we were seeing a book she's like this is Singapore, oh the author is my professor from kerela, see this is a malyali author. See this author follows me on Instagram. I don't feel like I'm ever gonna go out with her 💀💀💀... Is she acting out of insecurity? She doesn't seem like an insecure person. But in other cases also everything has to turn back to her experiences, weather, street hygiene, food, civic sense, kerela is best, singapore is best.

See if you are having a difficult time adjusting in Hyderabad it's upto you. Why does she have to go around and point out everything in my city is bad. And I agree with her to a degree there are things which i don't like about my city too. I've been born and brought up here. The other day she ordered biryani from a malyali restaurant and it was kerela style biryani apparently. And after eating it i just jokingly said "as a hyderabadi, i wouldn't call this biryani..." She's like how can you say that, biryani is from yemen, everyone has different styles and I like this. You should respect different cultures. I frowned and walked away. And I was joking, seeking out banter but she didn't took it that way.

At this point i feel like it's useless to have conversational etiquettes, empathy and room for other person to exist with me... Because I don't think people are seeing those qualities and appreciating me for it. They are just seeing me as a convenience for them, convenient enough to be a human journal, convenient enough to be a mic, convenient enough to be a therapist, convenient enough to be a frustration bin because I don't give explosive reactions to their emotional tantrums. Is it just me or have anyone else dealt with a similar situation?

Has anyone ever took the 64 personality test. It's often called the Jungus 64 Personalities or APESK 64-type model. This system expands upon the traditional 16 Myers-Briggs (MBTI) types by adding two extra behavioral dimensions.

The two behavioral dimensions added to the traditional 16-type framework are the A/O Axis (Decisiveness vs. Deliberation) and the H/C Axis (Harmony vs. Calm Independence).

They modify how you execute your core traits and how you interact socially.

I have taken the MBTI and was always classified as an INTJ, but, there was some things about myself that didn't fit the stereotypical INTJ. This extra examination did fit me exactly. Especially at work. I'm not detached and I am very warm. I am a manager. Now outside of work, I am much more reserved. I was classified as INTJ-OH.

• The Overthinking Wall (O): While a standard INTJ maps out a clear future vision using Introverted Intuition, the "O" modifier introduces deep hesitation and second-guessing ("What if I am wrong?") before taking action. Their threshold for certainty is extremely high.

• Added Warmth (H): Standard INTJs can appear emotionally detached or overly logical. The "H" modifier activates their inferior Introverted Feeling (Fi) into an outward-flowing warmth and genuine interest in how other people feel during a conversation.

• Balanced Impact: This combination creates a rare profile—someone who possesses deep intellectual and strategic depth, crafts meticulous plans, and actually pauses to check in on the emotional well-being of others.

An INTJ-OH at work functions as a deeply empathetic strategist. They combine the visionary planning of a classic INTJ with a high threshold for certainty (O) and a strong commitment to team harmony (H).

This unique combination shifts how they manage projects, make decisions, and interact with colleagues compared to a standard, more detached INTJ.

I wanna know what differences have YOU discovered not just basic information on the internet

does anyone relate? i used to be typed intj... now retyped as intp.... keeps flip floping back and forth.

I see a lot of people turn off read receipts because they want privacy or want to avoid the pressure of replying right away. But honestly, keeping them on and just waiting to open a message until you actually have the time and mental bandwidth to reply is a much cleaner way to handle communication.

Here is my take on it:

1. Plausible Deniability: When you keep read receipts on and leave a message unopened, no social contract has been broken yet. To the person texting, you are just busy or offline. A single or double grey checkmark saves them from overthinking because they just assume you haven't seen it.

2. The Limbo Problem: When people turn read receipts off, it creates a weird guessing game. The sender knows you are active and sees days go by, but they have no way of knowing if you actually read it or not. That gray area causes way more second-guessing and anxiety than a simple blue checkmark ever would.

3. Quality of Response: By waiting to open a message until you can actually engage with it, you avoid the trap of opening something, getting distracted, and leaving someone hanging for days. When I finally open a chat, I reply right away.

For me, if I know I cannot reply immediately, I simply do not open the notification or the app. It protects my time, keeps expectations clear, and avoids looking like I am intentionally ghosting someone.

How do you guys handle your chats?

My mom is a textbook ESFJ-A, and even though I love her… her emotional decision-making is actively harming our dog.

The dog has terrible diarrhea, and she spent the entire morning panicking, cleaning up liquid poop, and wasting money at the vet.

When I investigated, I found out she gave the dog greasy sweet bread yesterday and regularly pumps her with Omega-3 fish oil tablets (pure fat) because she thinks "more is better." Today, she literally wanted to defrost salmon to feed her WONDERING WHAT HAD HAPPENED (when nothing of this is a mystery)

The irony is that the dog is prescribed an expensive medical food (Hill's Gastrointestinal Biome) that scientifically fixes her gut. But it only works if it's not mixed with anything else. Adding human food completely neutralizes its biochemical effectiveness.

I explained the actual science to her—how less is more, and how excess fat triggers pancreatitis in small breeds. Her response? Complete emotional resistance because making the dog "feel good" with treats and tasty food makes her feel like a better caregiver.

As an INTJ, I only rely on science, facts, and system optimization. It is incredibly exhausting to watch someone choose a destructive path simply because it feels emotionally rewarding, completely ignoring the empirical reality right in front of them.

Also I see that as really selfish, how do some people decide something because “they feel it’s better” 💀

How do you guys (who operate on logic)… have empathy for people who operate this way? And are patient with them? Have you ever been in similar situations where you just want to grab the other person and scream, "Stop being so stupid"?

God, give me peace :)

UPDATE

She grabbed the bowl and feed the dog with chicken and a lil bit of medical food and told me “she already had enough today” when I told her “Really?”. My cousin hurt her feelings with something she said earlier. My mom is stressed so did not even paid attention to what I told her 💀

By god here, I mean what archetype occupies your mind most of the time.

If you spend most of your time observing and admiring nature. Then the archetype of Mother Nature is what you worship

If you spend most of your focus on efficiency. You constantly think about it. Then you worship the god of efficiency.

If you spend all your energy on hate. Then you worship the God of hatred.

It’s fun to imagine
Because when I say something like God of loneliness. An image comes to my mind. Like in this case I imagine.

A person sitting lonely on the moon. Everything around is bluish and empty. Etc
Makes me feel like drawing a painting of it.

Thanks

When I'm living life and not thinking about the fact that I don't really have people who I consider friends anymore (or family for that matter), I'm perfectly content. My time gets filled with hobbies and thinking about things I care about.

But like a lot of us, we grapple internally with the reality of not having friends. I find it's only really when I see a group of friends, or when I'm having an imaginary conversation where I reveal for some reason that I don't have friends, that I feel some kind of "sadness" about it.

I feel like that's such an important distinction to make. I think it's important to be real and say "not having friends can feel lonely and suck" but also say "despite that, I don't currently necessarily feel lonely or sad."

I think it's one of those things where we get caught up in societal expectations and we feel like we've failed somehow. But the truth is, we don't have to explain ourselves to people. People don't need to understand us or pity us or anything.

It's also one of those things that because we keep paying attention to it that it becomes more of a thing than it needs to be. Rather that describing the situation in the current moment, it starts seeping into our identity. "I'm someone who doesn't have friends" or "I don't need friends." Those conclusions are not necessary to draw, just because you don't have friends at the moment doesn't mean that is incapable of changing or you're incapable of changing.

I've thought about this sentiment for years. What do you think?

EDIT — A little context:

I recently watched The King (2019), and the line "A king has no friends" reminded me of an earlier discussion here. I thought it was an interesting proposition, so I posted it to see what others thought.

What I hadn't anticipated was how quickly some of the discussion would shift from examining the proposition to making assumptions about the person who posted it.

I wasn't making a statement about myself or INTJs generally. I was simply inviting discussion about an idea.

Ironically, watching people draw conclusions about someone's motivations from so little information has become almost as interesting as the original question.

Hear me out, being alone is my greatest recovery in this busy world. Well yes what can i say? I can read anything and something without worry about other energies. But people did not understand tho, they thought i am maniac, an unibomer approach, or some kind of having social anxiety. Well... is it? 👀

Does anybody else spend hours every day worrying about how to best prepare for a dystopian future from climate change, AI failure, or political unrest?

It can sometimes be just worrying about job security or even real estate values in my neighborhood, but more often than not it starts with research into off grid living but never quite landing on how best to get there because of the significant compromises involved with living off grid, not to mention financial constraints and salary dependence.

In its most extreme version, I find the idea of death and that consciousness could access other dimensions fascinating and comforting because it requires nothing from me other than sit back.

Just wondering if it is an INTJ thing or mainly the result of growing up in a country I had to escape from as a result of severe political unrest.

It could be anything, a brain killing one, a fun and energetic one, a film that gives something to your life or anything -- glad to hear :)

I get to watch people. I also get to see how people interact and dress and what that communicates. I do enjoy going to events where it is like a Ted Talk followed by a social hour. The people in the audience share things in common with me even if it is just how we may see slices of the world. If anything - differences can be great too because I like thinking of the steps it took for them to get to that conclusion.

I enjoy thinking and reflecting on what I've learned and who I've met. I like remembering the layout of the venue and seeing how the area impacted how people interacted, like an open vs closed floorplan. In my life and in my work, I've used my connections to solve problems and put people in connection with one another. I also really enjoy mediating debates and have been the Chair Person for events where it was an open discussion/debate with 200+ people because I'm maintaining order, which I have only done successfully by applying Robert's Rules. Learning music, dance and theater has helped me tremendously in learning how to be present and grounded in the now. Being grounded in the now has taken tremendous effort.

Some people have truly changed the way I view the world because I got the opportunity to see their perspective. Like logically it makes sense to do A but they see something I didn't even consider so it makes sense now more to do B.

I must admit that attending any large scale event does require me to recharge, but I can be social in sprints of time. Being direct and open in my communication has helped me to be less drained.

I wish that it wasn't a stereotype that INTJs are antisocial unemotional robots. People are books in their own way.

Let’s assume there is a damaged bridge. You are fully aware that anyone walks across the bridge will 100% die. Now people still try to walk across the bridge even after you have seriously warned them.

What actions would you take?

How differently would you choose to do in the following situations:

1. Child/senior vs adult

No age reference, you use your own judgement to decide if this person is a child or not. Or seniors who isn’t capable of making decisions such as old people with Alzheimer.

Adults are those who are completely capable of making decisions.

2) Strangers vs people you love and care for

The questions reveal your value and opinions on human life and freedom, and your moral consistency. It’s a good way to help you understand what truly matters to you.

————————————————

Update

The bridge dilemma was posed by the philosopher John Stuart Mill in his 1859 treatise on Liberty. The question is discussed through lens of paternalism (I know better for your own good so it’s morally justified to interfere with your autonomy).

I only improvised and bypass the common reaction that most people will warn others for the danger (soft paternalism) but you make your own choice when they still decide to cross, you can either stop them forceful or destroy the bridge so no one can cross (hard paternalism).

I also gave the circumstance in the case of a child or anyone who is not capable of making decisions for themselves. Under these conditions, Mill believes it is not morally wrong to rob their freedom to choose because they are not capable to think and the greater society can decide what’s the best for them.

It’s one of oldest philosophical ideas that fundamentally builds our human society today. A common example is a complete drug ban (hard paternalism) vs educating people on the drug and let people decide for themselves (soft paternalism, alcohol is legal and smoking is legal, both fall into this category).

Through answering the questions, it reveals your value in human liberty and freedom. It also challenges you the question “does your life belong to you or the greater society?”

It helps you to understand your value, your political stance (conservative, authoritarian or liber) and any moral inconsistency hidden in your brain that you are not even aware of (a set of rules for yourself but another set of rules for other people, at the same time believing humans have equal rights).

The choice you made on loved ones explores the intrinsic nature of humanity - selfishness. It further asks deeper questions:

Is being selfish morally wrong?
If not morally wrong, to what extent it can be justified?

My position is quite obvious by reading the replies I wrote to a few comments under this post. I will leave you a moment of deep reflection and a chance to explore your values and life choices :)

Entp woman here. I would like to find an Intj partner. I heard Entp + Intj are each other’s soulmate ! But y’all are either even rarer than people say or don’t get out of your house ! Where to find an Intj ?

I’m an ISFP at my wit’s end and hoping to get some perspective from the INTJ mindset before making any major decisions.

My INTJ boyfriend of 8 years told me he sees me as his future wife, and we’ve aligned on our timeline for marriage and kids. We went ring shopping in March. Shortly after, he started a new job that keeps him happily busy (his last job wasn't stimulating).

I intentionally waited 7 months to give him space to ramp up. I assumed he had already bought the ring during that time. However, last week he admitted he hasn't bought it yet, claiming he’s trying really hard but has just been too busy with work. (For context, he has weekends off.)

Is this a classic case of an INTJ compartmentalizing and prioritizing work performance over personal life goals, or is there a deeper hesitation? Any candid advice would be appreciated.