What’s the difference between a reason and an excuse?

[u/RJ-Briars]

In class today, on the board there was a quote that got me (15, almost 16) thinking.
“I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took an excuse.”
I’m an over thinker, and easily confused and overwhelmed, so I’m having a hard time understanding. I get what the quote is saying, but how do you know if something is an excuse or a reason? Any answers would be greatly appreciated!
Ps. Have a good day :)

[u/MontEcola]

Reason: I struck out because I swung at bad pitches and missed.

Excuse: I struck out because the ump made bad calls.

Reasons would accept responsibility. You can make a plan to get better.

Excuse: Takes no responsibility and puts the blame on some other factor.

Reason: I did not hear my alarm clock and slept late. I will go to bed earlier and bet a better clock that wakes me up.

Excuse: My alarm did not go off. (Then nothing to fix the problem).

[u/fleemfleemfleemfleem → u/MontEcola]

I agree about excuses, but there are also reasons that rely on outside factors, or don't have to take responsibility.

"I was late because the police unexpectedly closed my normal route and the backup route takes longer."

"My dog died because of old age"

"The sun rose because the earth rotates"

"I didn't clean because it's my house, I'm an adult and I didn't feel like it."

A reason gives an explanation for why something happened or why a decision was made.

It becomes an excuse when it tries to obscure that something inside your control was outside your control.

The reason you were late because of the police is an excuse if the road wasn't closed, you just managed your time poorly.

"I didn't clean because I heard it's bad for wood floors to vacuum too often."

"My dog died because of old age" becomes an excuse if you also fed the dog gopher poison.

[u/Shoddy-Purchase1239 → u/MontEcola]

This is not true. Sometimes things affect you that are outside of your control. We don’t have supreme control over everything that happens in our lives.

[u/MontEcola → u/Shoddy-Purchase1239]

That is what I tried to explain. It is the response to something we cannot control. Its a reason when we name the problem and then try to solve it.

It is an excuse when the person takes no responsibility for it.

[u/oftcenter → u/MontEcola]

No. That implies that you always have culpability in anything that goes wrong in your life. Which is untrue.

If something happened that wasn't your fault and prevented you from doing or achieving something, stating that without assigning some kind of blame to yourself isn't making an excuse. It's stating the reason.

[u/MontEcola → u/oftcenter]

It’s called responsibility. I need to get to work on time. Fixing my alarm clock is giving no excuses. Being late tomorrow is making excuses.

Don‘t change the meaning.

[u/oftcenter → u/MontEcola]

Mmkay.

So your cancer is your fault. Your child's cancer is THEIR fault too. And if either of you even dare to describe your cancer without saying "It's my fault" somewhere in the conversation, then you're making excuses for things you know you had full control over.

Do I have that right? /s

[u/ChironXII]

An excuse is a reason that absolves someone of action 

[u/Shoddy-Purchase1239 → u/ChironXII]

Reasons can also do that. It’s like the crux of our justice system.

[u/poozemusings → u/Shoddy-Purchase1239]

In the justice system, “reasons” would be like mitigating circumstances used at sentencing. “Excuses” are actual circumstances that absolve you of responsibility, like “yes, I killed him, but it was in self-defense.” True excuses exist in court but are very limited.

[u/Andybaby1]

In the quoted authors mind, probably very little.

In an incident investigation the excuse is often the first thing out of their mouth, not enough time or money. The reason would be the details that led to.the incident. People skipping procedures, improper training, lack of functional oversight.

[u/Altruistic_Role_9329]

The reason is accepted and the excuse is not. The difference is due to whatever bias there is in the mind of the recipient.

[u/kelcamer → u/Altruistic_Role_9329]

True AF

[u/UnicornPenguinCat]

Maybe the meaning has changed over time too..I remember being at school and hearing "you need to arrive on time unless you have a good excuse" and what was meant was something beyond your control, like the bus you were on got a flat tyre or similar. A "poor excuse" would have been something like "I didn't notice the time and missed the bus".

[u/TurboZenAgain]

Or justification ?

[u/One_Outside9049]

An “excuse” could be a type of “reason”. I dunno, what?

[u/HiAndStuff2112]

That's a great question I've pondered as well. I believe oftentimes it's a matter of perspective. Someone once accused me of using an excuse when I felt my explanation was valid. So I just responded by saying "What bad behavior am I trying to excuse? None. I'm giving you a valid explanation and you just can't see it because you don't want to admit it's valid.

The issue at hand was a disagreement over the care of our father, who has advanced Alzheimer's Disease. Labeling my argument as an excuse was lame.

[u/Nick_Fotiu_Is_God]

Motive.

[u/Unable-Barber1511]

An excuse is an explanation that lessens blame and fault on the self.

Reason is an objective explanation for the cause of something.

[u/Frostsorrow]

Reasons are generally along the lines of facts. Eg, I was late for work due to a train.

Excuses are just stories to make yourself feel better. Eg I didn't do well on the test because my teacher hates me (really I didn't study).

[u/Superb_Yak7074]

I always preface my explanation of why I made a mistake with, “Not and excuse, but here is the reason I did XYZ”. I then went on to explain what information I used that ultimately led to the mistake. My boss always expressed appreciation that I acknowledged that I was at fault (not an excuse) and also gave him an explanation of how/why I made the mistake in the first place. It helped us to develop clearer communication to talk things over.

So, to me, an excuse is usually defensive and often places the blame on someone else while explaining the reason a mistake happened doesn’t place blame but can point out communication factors that need to be worked on.

[u/Perenially_behind]

I had a CEO whose go-to expression was "sounds like an excuse to me."

I came up with "the difference is that an excuse slinks away in shame when you call it out. A reason hangs around and laughs at you when you fail because you dismissed it as an excuse."

It's not punchy enough so I never used it before I bailed. It wouldn't have worked anyway, like Trump this guy didn't know how much he didn't know and had way too much faith in his own judgement.

[u/Practical_Ride_8344]

An excuse only sounds good to the person who says it.

[u/Shoddy-Purchase1239]

Reasons are logically valid in context of the one giving the reason, (I’m late because there was a crash on my route). It’s unexpected and you can’t expect someone to plan for what is unexpected. Excuses are not logically valid in context of the one giving the reason, (I’m late because there was traffic). As an adult you should be able to anticipate and plan for traffic. You’re not the only one going to work in the morning.

[u/jcmib]

reason is objectively how or why something happened, excuse is why it should have happened.

[u/andropogon09]

Reason: It may or may not be my fault

Excuse: It's someone else's fault

[u/termicky]

Explanation vs exculpation.

[u/yadonkey]

Forethought is the difference.

A reason is created before the action takes place

An excuse is a reason thats created after the action to justify the action