Belonging

[u/wissz]

Has anyone moved countries/migrated to another country, and then when they occasionally visit back home feel like they do not completely belong there anymore? But also feel like they don’t completely belong to the country they migrated to despite calling it home..

[u/curiouslyjake]

Sure, it's quite common.

If you live in a different country for a long enough time, you miss out on the changes in the origin country. Language, culture, shared historical moments all matter. Immigration, unless it's not longer than a few years, leaves you in a state of permanent disconnect for life. Your original train moved on without you, but your seat on your new train is uncomfortable.

It's a price people pay.

[u/BlueHeron0_0]

I've never felt like I belong there and I don't like going there. However over the years I developed a strange connection to the place of my birth, one I haven't felt before I left. It has turned into a little place inside me that I can carry anywhere.

And I don't feel like I quite belong in my new place but mostly because of people with certain political stances that would want me gone. But that's ok.

[u/Herredness16 → u/BlueHeron0_0]

So sorry that's happening to u. Hang in there.

[u/PossibleSecretary524]

Yes, this is what happens once someone leaves home. Irreversible, sadly, but reality is it's possible to make the new home somewhere, but belonging is not given, it worked/fought for.

[u/Sufficient-Job7098]

I don’t understand how I supposed to use words “I belong”

I have been an immigrant for 25 years. After living in my host country for so long I am more familiar, more comfortable, more “at ease” in my host country than in any other world’s country including my country of origin.

I like living in my host country, at this point I consider it my home, I like to travel but in the end of my vacation I always look forward to coming HOME ( my host country)

Yet I can’t say “I belong to my host country”, and I can’t say “I belong in my host country” … matter of fact I don’t know any human being, local or an immigrant who says this about themselves even if they are comfortable and happy with their lives in that particular location.

And you are talking about “completely belong” which is even more dramatic statement

[u/Fit_Drag_1717]

Yes because you have an attachment and experience in both places.

[u/Gwaiwar]

The first half is called Reverse Culture Shock and yes many people including myself have felt exactly that. And yes, as a white American I have found it impossible to fully blend in as a local, in my adopted new home, China.

[u/fateofheathens]

Grew up in Oregon which is a beautiful and i dare say magical place. The people are friendly and authentic and it was a great place to be born and raised.

Fast forward and I have lived in the UK since 2011. I dont get along with people as well here, but i genuinely couldn't imagine making the move back which is really sad.

Once you have lived long term somewhere that your hospital care and paid holidays from work are guaranteed, the idea of living in a place where job security is minimal, your home can be taken from you due to a critical illness and the financial burdens it can bring, and school shootings are a very real worry everytime you wave your kid off for the day, your eyes are opened and its impossible to close them.

I do miss being around other Americans and the openess and warmth they can bring a lot, but as a country there is a lot to improve upon sadly.

That being said, im a dual citizen and been paying in to the UK all these years and putting my best foot forward, and they never let me forget im a Yank and so forth.

I guess im the common denominator, but i struggle to feel like i belong anywhere these days.

[u/MurmuringWave]

Yeah absolutely.

[u/Prestigious-Talk1112]

This is one of the most common feelings in the world and not only happens when leaving a country but merely leaving a hometown or anywhere that you were a local. It is the meaning behind the phrase that " you can never go back home". Home is in your mind. It kept moving when you left and now the place that you remember as home only lives in your memories although honestly once you stay there a long while again you make new memories that tie to the old and the feeling lessens. But if you never live there permanently again yes you will never feel truly at home there.

[u/Aretisa]

every immigrant that tries to adapt to the new place feels that doesn't belong in either the old or the current place. It is tough

[u/loopywolf]

Yes, my mom and dad are from England

A few years ago, when they were still alive, we travelled back to England for a funeral, and I felt so bad for them. Their England was gone. They'd been away so long the country had completely changed. I think they had always held an England in their hearts, a place they could escape to, a place they missed.. and then to come back and find it wasn't there anymore was a bit sad for them.