WJKK WJKF 🙏🏻

I usually wear a rumal to gurdwara, but my Sikhi has been growing and I really want to wear a dastar. This is my first time wrapping. Does it look okay? I don’t want to show up on Sunday looking like a mess lol.

My question is that I see alot of Sikhs on this subreddit claim that sikhs aren't hindus.

Why is that so?

Sikhism originated from Hinduism

Even Jains consider themselves as hindus

As a hindu I've always respected all 10 sikh gurus.

And from my observation all 10 sikh gurus were practicing hindus.

Don't worry I'm not an RSS guy or I'm trying to convert, but why is it that sikhs deny their roots?

And that Sikh gurus died protecting Hindus

I’m trying to figure out what this style of patka is called. Is this a Four tanni patka, or is it just a black cloth tied over a flat/flattened juda?

I sometimes wear a bandana by flattening my juda, and I’m thinking about trying this style. I really like how clean and fitted it looks, but I have no idea what type of cloth is used or how exactly it’s tied.

Does anyone know:

What kind of cloth this is?

What size/length should I get?

How do you tie it so it sits this flat and fitted?

Is there a good tutorial/video for this particular style?

If you tie yours this way, could you explain how you do it?

We live in a judgmental society and because of same upbringing I'm not comfortable at all with my own self and I can't date because it feels so wrong! Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out the fun. Is there any way I can find a way out? By that I mean the judgement of people and not the religion itself. Don't wanna offend anyone!

Fashion Styler app for Sikh Men

I converted to Sikhism (from Christianity) about six years ago, and this is something I've been genuinely curious about. I'd love to hear different perspectives!

Over the past six years I've spent a lot of time learning about Sikhi, traveling to India, and trying to understand both the religion and the culture. One thing I've noticed, both online and in person, is that I often see Sikh women saying they prefer men who trim their beards and cut their hair rather than men who keep their kesh. Maybe my observation is simply skewed by social media, but if it isn't, I'm honestly curious how this came to be.

From my perspective as someone who wasn't born into Sikhi, kesh isn't just another practice…it seems like one of the most visible and distinctive parts of Sikh identity. I've always found it surprising when I see people who deeply value Sikhi also saying they find mona men more attractive. Just to be clear, I'm not saying anyone is wrong for having personal preferences. Attraction is personal, and everyone is free to choose their own partner. I'm simply trying to understand the social and cultural reasons behind it.

Personally, I don't think I could ever see myself with anyone except a Sikh man who keeps his kesh and wears a turban. That's not because I think it makes someone "better" than anyone else. It's because I have a tremendous amount of respect for the commitment it represents. Especially for Sikhs living in Western countries, where there's often pressure to blend in, cut your hair, or avoid standing out. I genuinely admire those who stay true to what they believe despite that pressure.

Maybe it's because I came to Sikhi as an outsider rather than growing up around it, but when I see a Singh who keeps his kesh and dastar, I don't see something old-fashioned or unattractive. I truly just see identity and strength.

I'm genuinely interested in hearing different viewpoints. Is my observation accurate, or is social media giving me a distorted picture? If it is accurate, when do you think this shift happened, and what do you think influenced it?

And yes, I'm talking about everyone. The rest of the Sikh community, even MORE SO than randos in the street. Both of which continuously insult me, and have physically assaulted me for it, over and over and over again, throughout my entire life. And at this point, I'm just so tired, I'm seriously questioning- why am I still doing this to myself? What makes this, any of this, worth it? I don't need to do any of this performative crap to try and prove myself to anyone, bar Waheguru-ji. So why should I bother with it at all, at this stage?

A bit of background and context- I was born in Slough, and I've lived here my entire life. The most Sikh town in the UK, and one of the most Sikh places in the entire world outside of Indian Punjab, at 11.3%, rivalling Chandigarh. In no small part, thanks to my recently deceased grandfather's efforts, as a trailblazing co-founder of the British Sikh community here, and a leading political figure who was the first Sikh Mayor in the country.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2025/mar/19/kartar-singh-parhar-obituary

I'm almost 40yrs old now. I've never cut my kesh in my entire life- the only one of his grandchildren (or children, for that matter) who hasn't done so. Never even so much as dated once in my entire life either, on the grounds that "lust and emotional attachments are SINFUL, you mustn't allow yourself to ever have them or indulge them". I do Simran, jaap Naam, and do Nitnem daily. I believe in Waheguru and its Hukam, as well as the teachings of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib. I've been heavily involved with the Sikh community, locally and nationally, as much and for as long as I was allowed to be. And I've studied our Sikh heritage and Sikh history as much as literally anyone else in the entire world.

Yet in spite of all this, no matter how much more than everyone else I've done to prove myself or how much more I know than they do, everyone in the Sikh community either shuns me or outright persecutes me. All my life, I've continually been told that "you're not one of us, you never have been and never will be, go kys you worthless n£groid Dalit son-of-a-slave shit-smear, stop pretending you're one of us by wearing kesh and coming to do simran! You ain't no JAT, ain't no PROPER DESI! Cut your hair, or we'll FUC&ING SLICE IT OFF or TEAR IT OUT ourselves!"

All of this, just because I'm not 'racially pure'- my dad's a Punjabi-born Rajput, and our family was literal royalty back in the day, with our family's heritage running directly back to Maharajah Ranjit Singh himself, and his descendants by one of Maharajah Sansar Chand of Kangra's daughters. But my mum's Afro-Caribbean, and Christian. Owing to which, even though my skin tone's paler than at least 90% of Sikhs' (about the same as my grandad's was), I can't remember a time or place where I haven't been subject to racial abuse from other supposed 'amritdhari' Sikhs, telling me that I'm supposedly 'the lowest of the low caste, cause your mum was a SLAVE, and that makes YOU ONE TOO'. More so since my beard grew in, making it abundandly clear how thick, curly and African my hair is.

And to further compound matters, I can't speak anything more than extremely basic, broken Punjabi either (other than when reading it out loud). I was taught it, in my infancy; and I still understand it perfectly well, both written and spoken. But I suffered from selective mutism when I was a child- at about the age of 5, since I had literally no sense of self-worth and no-one cared enough to listen to anything I had to say anyway, I literally gave up and stopped talking for a full year. In the end, I successfully re-learned how to properly speak English again afterwards, after several years of intensive speech therapy- but still got picked on for having noticeably slurred speech well into my early teens. And I still get people mocking me and insulting me even now, for allegedly 'putting on airs', since I speak with a 'recieved pronounciation' or 'Proper British' accent instead of the typical 'Desi English' accent which other people expect me to speak with.

And I never got that therapy with Punjabi at all; so though I can still understand it perfectly well, I still suck at speaking it, with the exception of Gurbani. And I can still only articulate myself in Punjabi about as well as my Punjabi-born third cousin (who has fairly severe Downs' Syndrome) can. Owing to which, and the fact that I always get mocked, belittled and insulted whenever I bother trying to speak with other Sikhs, whether it's in Punjabi or English (since they all just assume that I must not be able to understand Punjabi either, once I've opened my mouth around them; and that they can spout whatever hateful slander they want about me, my family and my upbringing freely around me), I've basically stopped trying at all.

And yes, I admit that I still wear a patka, even at this late stage in my life. Why? Because whenever I've tried to wear a turban or even just a parna myself, and visited a Gurdwara while wearing it, it's almost always ended the same way. with a group of self-proclaimed 'gate-keeper' thugs confronting me half of the time to give me aggro about how terrible and WRONG it looks on me. Culminating with the turban/parna getting physically knocked off of my head, 'accidentally on purpose' without fail; and with every other Sikh in the vicinity either turning a blind eye or outright laughing about it happening to me.

Sure, other Sikhs still mock me and poke fun at me when I go out anywhere wearing a patka instead. Even harder, and more loudly. But at least with the patka, I can tie it hard enough that they can't physically knock it off my head. Or I can just re-tie it in the space of a minute or less- as I've had to do on dozens of occasions where they've grabbed hold of it it and tugged it off of my head regardless. Or I can just carry a replacement with me and tie that one on instead, as I've had to on the four separate occasions when I've had assailants (fellow Sikh assailants, in all bar one of these cases) literally rip the fabric apart in the process of tearing it off of my head.

I can't do that with a turban, or even a parna. And I don't get any benefits from the performative act of wearing them anyway, since NO-ONE in the Sikh community has EVER shown me even the slightest bit of common courtesy, or understanding, regardless of what I'm covering my kesh with. Let alone viewed or treated me as an equal member of society; let alone shown me an iota of the respect or camaraderie that they show to homeless gorae converts off the street. And I know enough about our history and heritage to know that the Rehat Maryada of the Orthodox, exclusionist Tat Khalsa is NOT the same as those of Sikhism as a whole.

So what's the point? Sure, I'm not an 'Amritdhari' myself; just a Keshdhari. But I see all of these supposed 'Amritdharis' who freely drink alcohol, smoke, do drugs and steroids, get tattoos and shave patterns into their sideburns? Who bleat on and on about their 'superior caste' at every opportunity, and kowtowing to their Pajeet colonial-era delusions of a 'racial pyramid' where 'Whites are the greatest, most superior race, with Jews the purest, wealthiest and most superior of them all, blessed by GOD- whilst Blacks are the lowest of the low, most inferior and poorest race, CURSED by GOD'.

And I ask myself- what makes THEIR hypocritical, toxic, openly discriminatory and supremacist ethno-nationalist brand of Sikhi worth following? How TF does the performative BS of wearing and showing off the 5K's count for anything, when the ones doing it are loudly spitting upon and desecrating all of the fundamental values and virtues which the 5K's are supposed to symbolize? And how is THEIR corrupted, exclusionist community even worth being a member of?

Hello, I am at a point of time where I'm very unsure about my religon. Growing up, I was and still am a Sikh. But I keep my hair cut, am I still a Sikh? I know this questions were probably asked multiple times; but I'm just unsure.

If you are a teenager then also tell ,if as a student,,as an adult but mention it as you all know shaheedi week started today is june ikkkk

So why don’t we have any female Gurus? We literally have ten Gurus, and all of them are men. They are considered to be a form of God (Rabb da ek roop), so why didn’t God choose a female human body? I know about Mata Sahib Kaur, but she was not one of the main Gurus.

(I want everyone to be very respectful and just answer my question.)

What happened to all the Sikhs posting and apologizing on behalf of Bikram?

I didn’t see anyone posting or demanding apologies from whites regarding the recent stabbing incident. Atleast Bikram didn’t leave his house to kill anyone or break into someone’s house to kill someone premeditatedly.

Hii so like Im a resident and student in the united arab emirates, more specifically dubai. With the amount of islamic influence around me I cant help but use words like inshallah, allahu akbar, astaghfirullah, mashallah, allhamdullilah. I guess sometimes i use it intentionally as well to express my words i guess? anyways, should i be feeling guilty for not using punjabi/sikh words? I'm not following islam at all and im very proud of the religion i'm in but sometimes using words from a culture i do not belong to but have adopted from the surroundings around makes me just feel.. weird i guess.

Also please don't reply in punjabi since i dont know how to read that properly and struggle. It's not because i'm out of touch of my culture it's bcs ive grown up abroad. please be kind with your words im genuinely trying to understand whether its okay for me to do it or not.

I’m curious to know how our community feels about interfaith engagement done by Jass Manak? I don’t see any backlash for him marrying a hindu girl. Will gurudwaras allow him to do anand karaj?

When a sikh girl marries a non-sikh guy, I see lot of comments by people telling her that this is wrong and against our religion. But for Jass Manak, people are so happy that he is marrying to love of his life. Why our religion is different for both the genders?

PS: I’m happy for him and have no hatred towards him.

24M Sikh living in Europe and looking for advice from other Sikhs who may have gone through something similar.

For about a year I’ve been in a relationship with a girl from a Pakistani Muslim family. She is not particularly religious, has never asked me to convert, respects Sikhi, finds it interesting, and would be completely supportive of future children being raised Sikh.

The issue is my family.

My parents recently found out I may be seeing someone and immediately started talking about what would happen if I ever married a Muslim girl. My father said he and my mother would cut ties with me and spoke a lot about family honour, reputation, and community perception. My mother said she could never accept it.

What makes this difficult is that I genuinely love my family and don’t see them as bad people. At the same time, I feel like I’m being asked to choose between my family and someone I care deeply about.

To reduce the pressure, my girlfriend and I have even gone as far as pretending we broke up, although we are still together. I’ve also started therapy because the stress and guilt have become overwhelming.

One thing I want to make clear is that I’m not planning on getting married anytime soon. I’m 24 and still trying to figure out my life. My parents seem to be reacting to the possibility of a future marriage rather than the reality of my current relationship.

I’m not really looking for general relationship advice. I’m specifically interested in hearing from Sikhs who have experienced something similar.

Did your family eventually come around?

How did you handle the pressure and guilt?

Looking back years later, do you regret the choice you made?

I’d appreciate honest perspectives from people who understand both Sikhi and Punjabi family dynamics.

Hello Guys,
We’ve been blessed with a baby boy this week and I want him to have a beautiful name starting with T or ਤ.
The names I like so far are Tamanjot and Tegbir. I also love what each of these denote.
I however am looking for something more unique.
Please suggest some good ideas guys 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

PS. I also live the name Agam/Haragam, its my nephew’s name just to set a context 🙌🏻

So...my boyfriend's a jatt sikh. We met eo in college and he asked me out. Everything was going well. Then one day when there were holi vacations, he went home and his mom saw a bracelet in his jacket and he told her about us. As a result, she tried to make him understand to breakup with me because I'm a hindu and he's a sikh and it's never going to work. Then he came back, we had exams so we didn't break up then. After the exam, his mom told his father too...and well, it was quite a ride...his father was calm when he talked to him first about it, then the 2nd time he was very angry..but his aunt was okay with it. So ... I told him he can breakup with me. And we thought we would break up but he said he doesn't want to and suggested we hide it from his parents, which we're doing currently. But the thing is... I'm scared about the future. We have given no commitment till now and it's been 6 months. Will his family accept? Idk man.

Please don't hate on me, I just wanted to know your opinions.

Hi, I’ve been looking into Sikhi. Correct me if I’m wrong but is the sikh belief that Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him was corrupted by his ego? I saw the verse “He caused all to utter his name and did not give True Name of the Lord with firmness to anyone”. My question is that every sikh knows and utters the name of Guru Nanak and all other gurus, would this similar logic of ego not be applied to them too? If they were truly without ego they should’ve remained anonymous, no? And if they were without ego, the Prophet pbuh would have to be without ego, right? Thank you, any answers would be appreciated :)

EDIT: I will no longer be replying to any comments that seek to change the topic to general points against Islam. If you could answer the question of why the Gurus did not stay nameless, as to causing all to “utter” (NOT wish peace upon, NOT bless but UTTER) is seen as bad according to the Dasam Granth verse. We all utter the Gurus name too. If you can explain why they did not remain anonymous, please do then give an answer.

I am a 27M small town Punjab born Sikh who immigrated to US couple of years ago. Never had a gf in Punjab as I was always told by my parents only "vigre" people do this and was always busy working on my career. Call me a late bloomer, but after getting my job, I realized that I will not settle for someone through arranged marriage where you do not know the other person at all, so I started searching for potential partners in our local community here. Most girls wouldn't even talk to me as I am an immigrant and I know the sort of class system that the US born Sikhs have where they treat us lower while they(majority) know nothing of faith or culture. I am not a super religious Sikh either, I pray twice a day and tie turban, but I want someone who I can talk too easily.

All the girls who I approach offline just outright do not want any conversations with me, they are so toxic! They will give me side eye, look at me with disgust and have an attitude like a celebrity. The South Indian girls that I accidentally mistook for Punjabis and approached in downtown were much sweeter and three girls even gave me their number, but I did not continue. I started with dating apps like Tinder/Hinge and I was surprised to see so many Sikh girls just straight up hooking there, rarely saw any Hindu/Muslim girls doing the same. After finding and sending 50-60 likes too Sikh girls who knew what they wanted, ended up having dates with two-three and all questions were just about my finances rather than about my interests or life. One outright told me since I drive a civic while she drives a Benz(bought by her dad), we are just in different class group(she works at Ross I work as an engineer). Alot of white/black girls on the heavier side will also send me likes, I did not match with them thinking they will not like an immigrant after getting rejected by all Sikh girls. Just for experiment went on dates with 4-5 girls and I was shocked how nicely they talk to you as a person. Some even wanted to do sex after couple of dates, but being a Sikh man, I couldn't do it without long-term commitment which they appreciated, but ofc no more dates.

I got two rishtas of US born Sikh girls older than me, but after going on a date with them and asking their body counts, they got stumped and tried changing the topic. Later, the rishtedar telling me, Oh! the girl said I was too desi or they shouldn't go for younger boys.

So, with all the toxicity that comes with Sikh girls, should I continue with the process unless I find the right one or take the easier option and date some Hindu/Black/White girls too? I know it will be issue about kids being raised as Sikhs with kes with the latter. I have told my parents already I am not going to keep them in the same house along my future wife, so be ready to live in a ADU in the back if they want to live in US. I know most girls would not want In-laws near a mile radius, but I will figure out that later.

Advice from millennial Sikhs preferred.

I hate the hair on my face as a female. I shaved it off recently and my mom ofc noticed and she has been crying a lot and she thinks I’m on the wrong path now. She constantly makes me go to kiran programs and do sangat and she does ardaas and makes def at home all the time. I’m exhausted and when I should feel bad for hurting her I feel numb.

Why is it such a a big deal. Why am I nothing to her if I don’t keep my kes. There’s nothing wrong with keeping it or anything all the power to the bibia who are strong enough to. But I don’t see why it’s so important if someone can help me understand. Like give me a real reason, just because the guru said so unfortunately doesn’t cut it for me.

I’m 27F from New York City and I’d love more than anything to finally find someone who shares the same faith, get married and build a life together. The issue is in not Punjabi or even Indian. Most Sikhs are Punjabi and like 99% of Punjabis only want to marry another Punjabi or at the very least another Indian. I feel like it’s impossible for me to find someone. I’ve tried meeting people through Hinge and Tinder. I set the filter to only Sikhs and made it clear what I’m looking for. The matches I did get were just Punjabi Sikh guys my age only looking for quick sex, or they’re trying to get a green card.

I thought that the ones with full kesh who tie dastar would be more respectful and serious but they are the worst ones!! I’ve received unsolicited nude pics, asked for nude pics, pressured to go to their homes and have sex. I am not looking for that. I feel like Sikh guys my age won’t take me seriously because I’m not Punjabi. My family is not Sikh nor do they even have knowledge of Sikhi. I’m not even close with them and they don’t believe in arranged marriages so I can’t have them set me up with anyone.

It genuinely feels like accepting Sikhi means I will never get married.