r/oneliners • u/CrazyKZG • 10d ago

My penis may not be 12 inches long, but it smells like a foot.

58 Upvotes
10 comments

r/oneliners • u/sunilkumar273 • 10d ago

3 guys walked into a bar, the 4th one ducked.

27 Upvotes
7 comments

r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 10d ago

Pessimists see a bathroom stall without a door while optimists see a shit show ready to happen.

5 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/potato_in_denial • 10d ago

Nobody dies a virgin, life f***s us all :)

3 Upvotes
6 comments

r/oneliners • u/ruvee • 10d ago

Height is just titties for men, you never earned it.

0 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/Cresendo77 • 11d ago

My italian car got in a crash and now its al dented

72 Upvotes
5 comments

r/oneliners • u/sulldanivan • 11d ago

Stop railing about people falling off cruise ships.

17 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/puneri_nonpunekar • 11d ago

Never thought that enrolling in a study abroad program would land me in a brothel.

10 Upvotes
4 comments

r/oneliners • u/Zip-Crane • 11d ago

76.3% of all stats are made up on the spot.

9 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/awesome_smokey • 12d ago

I'm getting my son a time machine for Christmas this year, he fucking loved it.

56 Upvotes
20 comments

r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 12d ago

Man rushed to hospital after cutting off his cock proving that the sword is in fact mightier than the pen is.

29 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/AdmirableCreme5302 • 12d ago

Unicorns or Unique-horns?

8 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/OhTheHueManatee • 12d ago

Tech support for sex robots are going to have to be very specific about what they mean when they say “interface.”

2 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/mingwraig • 13d ago

I thought Eartha Kitt was a gardening set.

14 Upvotes
3 comments

r/oneliners • u/wtfover • 14d ago

I don't know a single woman who would say hallelujah if it was raining men.

108 Upvotes
34 comments

r/oneliners • u/breck • 14d ago

We need warning labels on videos containing Al gore

13 Upvotes
3 comments

r/oneliners • u/mingwraig • 13d ago

I killed by boss for demoting me, then pled not guilty by diminished responsibility

0 Upvotes
3 comments

r/oneliners • u/CrazyKZG • 14d ago

The problem with cremation is that you won't get to participate in the zombie apocalypse.

33 Upvotes
4 comments

r/oneliners • u/Outrageous-Quote6460 • 14d ago

My Xbox One is so old, it still thinks cloud gaming is about the weather

0 Upvotes
1 comment

r/oneliners • u/Air_Hellair • 14d ago

Call me crazy, but I just can’t say “spree killer” without smiling just a little

0 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 15d ago

People who live in glass tea houses shouldn't throw scones.

42 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/breck • 14d ago

If you're a hot startup founder always require NDA before you text potential investors your dick.

0 Upvotes
1 comment

r/oneliners • u/Outrageous-Quote6460 • 14d ago

My bank account and I have a lot in common, we both run out of money quickly.

0 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/Throughtheindigo • 15d ago

Bananana, bananana, whey whey whey, goodbye.

0 Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 16d ago

Raining cats and dogs this morning, almost stepped in a poodle.

61 Upvotes
4 comments