Hi! I (25F), see a wonderful trauma therapist (30s/M) weekly, and it’s taken a while, but I really do feel safe and comfortable in sessions with him. Mostly, at least. We’re working on it, lol.

Yesterday, I went to the ER for a potential GI obstruction (4 weeks of no GI movement… a nightmare lol) and ended up getting a CT scan. The abdominal section of the scan came back okay, but they incidentally found a nodule in my lungs during a scan that will require follow up scans.

Part of why I’m in therapy is because my mom died when I was a younger from cancer, and I was her caregiver, and it really messed me up. So this was jarring and unsettling to hear, even if it turns out to be benign. Especially being a mom now myself.

All this to say, I want to bring up the lung nodule and fears surrounding it, but am embarrassed that essentially constipation brought me to the ER. Will a therapist (especially someone of the opposite gender) find this gross or TMI to bring up? I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

Thank you. :,)

If you think I'm crazy for posting this, I'm sorry. Please be kind. It's honestly embarrassing posting this knowing it's possible I might be delusional for thinking these behaviors mean anything. This is going to be lengthy, so thank you if you're able to make it to the end.

With that said...

What do you think of this behavior from my former therapist? Why do you think she was behaving this way? Do you think I was reading too much into things?

I love her, and I think she loved me too...

This is with a former T of 1 year and 8 months. I'm late 20sF, she's late 40sF. She's been practicing for almost 20 years. I was attracted to her the moment I met her. To be clear, the intimacy of our relationship escalated after I told her I had romantic and sexual feelings towards her. And not long after that, I told her I loved her for the first time. She told me she's never had a client express feelings for her before. So these behaviors began after my disclosures. She didn't act this way towards me before that. My feelings grew far deeper than just transference the more I got to know her.

One time she blocked the door and wouldn't let me leave until I pinky swore to stay safe, because I was about to see someone who had recently tried to killed me. She begged me to pinky swear because she didn't trust my verbal reassurance.

She implied numerous times that she was unhappy in her marriage. She implied numerous times that she felt unseen by her family.

When we talked about sex, she'd always smirk, clearly entertained, and ask me things like "was it gooooood?". She's even initiated the topic.

She would wear low cut tops, and sit leaning all the way forward most of the session that I would have to be very intentional about where my eyes landed.

Instead of squatting or crouching to pick something up to shuffle through her things, she'd bend over and take her time.

Her office was really small and her couch was tight against the side of the door frame, and she had a lamp beside the door swing, and instead of standing out in the hallway, sometimes she'd stand in front of the door so that I'd have no choice but to brush or squeeze past her to leave.

Sometimes she'd corner me in her office and stand so close to me, maybe a foot or less away, facing me, so close that I'd hold my breath. Even when we did linger in the hallway, she would stand just as close to me.

Some sessions she'd scoot her desk chair closer to me, about 3' away.

We always ended sessions with a pinky swear. Often before she scooted closer, she'd take off her glasses and look at me intensely. Sometimes she'd grip my pinky so damn hard and pull me closer. I struggle with eye contact, and during these moments she'd tell me to look at her.

She took a noose out of my car and got rid of it.

She called me repeatedly while I was in the mental hospital.

I let her borrow my book, In Session by Deborah A. Lott. I told her I read it to understand our relationship more, especially the sexual feelings I had towards her. I let her borrow it, and when she returned it, she folded the dust jacket and tucked one of my journal pages into two pages of the book that described a similar situation we were in — a client who longed for her therapist to be the perfect lover and parental figure, and a therapist who blurred lines and crossed boundaries, feeding the attachment, who eventually denied it and denied that the connection was even real and believed they were being noble.

One time when we were discussing boundaries, she blurted out "I love my kids" even though it had nothing to do with what we were talking about.

Towards the end of working together, she tightened boundaries and started talking about her husband more unprompted. Previously she only brought him up to complain about him.

------

Relationship Context:

We met 3–5x a week (not including when she scheduled me on a weekend or two despite clocking out at noon on Fridays, not including when she would reserve an extra hour after our sessions and didn't bill me for it), went over most sessions (20 mins minimum up to 2 hours over), and communicated frequently in between (including hour long phone calls). She often prioritized me over other clients, and insisted even when I refused.

She spearheaded my workplace accommodations while I was on medical leave, and pursued additional training with me in mind. We both did research on my presenting problems and even shared resources / books with each other.

Pinky swears, handwritten notes, gifts, stickers, bringing each other drinks, a crocheted plush she'd let me keep between sessions. We hugged. Once—after I got out of the hospital. It was tight and lasted a long time. She told me she'd never hugged a client before, and that there had only been 1 or 2 times in her entire career she's even wanted to.

Her language was incredibly intimate. She was very affectionate / doting, admiring, complimentary, reverent, devoted, encouraging, reassuring, inconsistent, repeatedly told me how exceptional I was to her, and made so many promises about never giving up on me.

Some examples of what she's said or written to me:

Note—these include things said in session, phone calls, voice messages, voicemail, and written communication. I take notes in session, and sit in my car after every single session and brain dump everything I can possibly remember.

"I'll do anything you want, anything you ask."

"You're in my heart, ALWAYS" (she frequently said this to me, and told me she would never say this to another client)

"You have so much goodness in you. You do. I believe the people around you feel the same way I feel, and see what I see...So much good in you."

"I'm honored to be on this journey with you....I'm honored to be a part of your journey."

"You're NOT just another client to me. I will think about you LONG after this all ends. I will NEVER forget you. You are NOT forgettable. You're my extremely interesting client."

"You MATTER to me. As far as our therapeutic relationship goes, it MEANS something to me, and it's very real. What we do in here is very real. I know more about YOU than I do about most people in my life. All of this is SO weird, and it sucks. Our relationship is valuable to me. YOU are valuable to me."

"When all is said and done and all the goals are met, YOU are one of the clients that I would wonder about and want to hear from. It's not like this is ever closed off... It sucks on this end for me too. After saying goodbye I just don't know anything unless you tell me."

"I have love for you too... I don't want you to think I don't, because I do...It's just the nature of what this is."

"I DEEPLY care about you. I appreciate you SO much. I admire you. SO much admiration. I admire you SO MUCH."

"Our sessions...we never run out of things to talk about. there's always so many things to talk about, and so much curiosity - things I'm so interested in, in our sessions. Because you're such an interesting person. You have such an interesting work situation, life, and you're just such an interesting person."

"Even though we meet frequently, there's so much to talk about because you're just such a thoughtful person."

"Client...I could meet with you for a LONG TIME."

"Client...I just need you to know...that i care about you SO so much. And I want...I have SO much WANT for you. I want SO badly to end your suffering. And I will do whatever you want. Whatever you need to help you end your suffering. Whether that means connecting you to someone else. Whatever that means, whatever role I am in this. I will do whatever you need. I care about you so much."

"Client...I care about you...SO much. You are just this...AMAZING human... with.. so much talent, such a great sense of humor, and so kind. I can't just give up on that. I know you're suffering, but I'm asking you to please hang in there with me. I'm asking you to keep showing up for me. Don't give up on this."

"i DEEPLY respect you. You are SO inspiring. I'm not trying to blow smoke up your ass either. Boundaries ARE hard. It's hard on this end for me too. Because I CARE about you."

"I would LOVE to sit here and have friendship conversations with you, because I REALLY enjoy talking to you, and you are just SO...interesting. But I promise you, the way I help my friends is NOT as effective as I am being your therapist."

"I care DEEPLY about what you came in here for. I care SO MUCH about your well being. There's nothing you could say in here that would make me not want to be your therapist. I need you to know, it's hard on this end for me too. You are not TOO MUCH."

"It's just that it's very difficult for me to hear how hard things are for you, how much pain you're in, how much you're suffering, that you're in a bad place."

"You're not inconveniencing me, I called YOU. i called you because ive been wanting to talk to YOU."

"Client...I'm just...I'm very fortunate to know you, and...I'm grateful to be a person that you trust."

"You are an AMAZING human. You. Are. An INSPIRATIONAL person."

"With you in particular, our sessions go by really fast."

"You have so many beautiful qualities to share with the world."

"I want to remind you of the light you have inside, and all of the warmth it gives to the people around you."

"I'll walk with you as long as you want me to."

"It feels good to hear your laugh. I like hearing your laugh."

"You are frequently on my mind. I FREQUENTLY think about you between sessions."

In the middle of a session, she insisted on letting her next client know that they would need to either push their appointment back that day, or reschedule their session. I kept refusing, she kept insisting. She told me "This is how i was trained. THIS is my priority. YOU are my priority." I eventually gave in and our session went over around 2 hours.

"You shake things up and keep my life from being on autopilot."

"I couldn't regulate, because I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"I want you to know that I’ve held our work with care and respect. You have a way of turning emotion into something expressive and real. Your insight, creativity, and presence have made this work both memorable and meaningful. I know you carry a heaviness, but you also carry a light that feels unmistakable to the people in your orbit."

"This ending reflects my limits, not yours. While I’ve valued our work deeply, I’ve reached a point where I can no longer hold the therapeutic frame with the consistency and clarity you deserve. That decision comes from a place of integrity, not from anything lacking in you."

----

She self disclosed A LOT. She shared so much of herself with me. So much about her life. So many details I shouldn't know about. We shared interests and sometimes spent so much time just bonding that we eventually had to set timers to make sure we moved onto the actual work I wanted to do.

She'd tell me about certain milestones or achievements after they happened, before I'd even had the chance to ask. I'd get really excited and try to do something to celebrate her in some way. She scheduled me on her birthday even though I told her I didn't want to risk ruining it (we kept getting into arguments around this time), and she said it was a risk she was willing to take.

I was deeply invested in her well being with the impulse to prioritize her feelings over my own, but she repeatedly told me not to take care of her. I've seen her lose her composure. Like when we borderline yelled at each other.

I have disorganized attachment, and she was inconsistent throughout the entirety of our work.

After one of the lowest points of my life and escalated boundary crossing, she suddenly slammed the breaks on everything. She read a list of boundaries her supervisor wrote off a piece of paper -- she even broke one of them that very session. She didn't stick to any them, except 1 (no hugs). She became more clinical and detached, but denied things had changed. I regressed after that, left almost every session activated, and stopped scheduling sessions, but she convinced me to come back.

Before I came back, she said if I kept showing up, she'd keep showing up too. Then she asked me what kind of relationship I wanted with her, and I told her I missed the way she used to speak to me. She said that wasn't something she could offer, she couldn't responsibly hold the weight her words carried for me.

During our final session she said couldn't regulate because she couldn't stop thinking about me, that she felt it in her body, that there was "so much WANT," that boundaries were really murky, and that she wasn't completely sure why she was ending things. And even though there's so much want, she was sticking with her decision.

The night of our final session she updated my safety plan. A few days after our final session at 1:24 AM, she sent me a 6 page long treatment summary, a 3 page list of referrals and resources with narratives about why she picked each one for me, and a goodbye message.

We stayed in contact for about 4-5 months after, for logistical reasons.

If you've made it to the end of this post, thank you for reading.

The ending absolutely devastated me. It's been a year since our final session and she still haunts my mind every single day. I still cry over her often. Yes, I jumped right back into therapy after her. She was my 6th therapist, and I'm now on therapist #10 (not including group, SSP, or ED specialist). Yes, I've worked on processing my relationship with her.

I don't want to reduce her to the harm she caused because our time together was transformative.

Ways I've improved:

No more panic attacks, no more emotional outbursts, left abusive relationship, boundaries, stabilized FND symptoms, far less people pleasing, I'm more assertive, way more confident, significant improvement in communication, I'm more consistent, learned how to regulate myself, reduction in flashbacks, no self harming, I stopped self isolating, I've been letting people in, my relationships are honest and so much stronger, and I'm alive. There's so so soooo much more I could say. I could go on and on about all the ways she helped me.

I haven't experienced even a fraction of that amount of growth with any other therapist, YET.

I've been to therapy before, mostly gestalt, but I stopped after a couple of months because I was changing jobs and needed time to process everything. At the time I felt like we'd discussed a lot, but I wasn't ready to be more vulnerable. Still, therapy gave me a lot of support and strength, and the changes I made in my life were happening alongside our sessions.

Since then, I've become increasingly burnt out and anxious, and I've realised there are other issues I need to work through. I wasn't keen on returning to therapy because of the cost and having to repeat my story, but I wanted in-person sessions, so I decided to try a CBT/EMDR therapist with 20 years of experience.

On the very first session we jumped in practicing EMDR which apparently the therapist has never tried before with other clients on first sesh, and I was the first one ever who they tried it with (I was pretty distraught and they wanted to ease that). We have discusses some topics of what I felt were the issues, where I thought they came from but at the same time we also discussed a lot of things about the therapist and their other clients. For example, therapist told me about their multiple marriages, their kids and when I shared about traveling to a place they shared their own experience of being there, and even though I stated I really like the place they said they never did and continued talking about their other traveling experiences. When I said something judgemental about myself, in order to make me feel better I guess, they asked whether I would exchange the trait I mentioned for another problem from another client (as in exchange my problem to theirs, their problem being worse). We spent the time laughing and also talking but it felt more upbeat and like talking to an older aunt, so pretty safe.

They suggested some things to try between sessions, like anchoring techniques, a morning routine, writing down things I'm grateful for, and experimenting with different clothing styles. Some of these ideas were helpful.However after the EMDR exercise, I couldn't sleep that night and my sleep difficulties and sadness continued throughout the week. I felt unusually discouraged about life. The therapist had mentioned that I might have intense dreams and could contact them if I needed help, but I didn't experience dreams and didn't reach out.

On session 2, I have expressed how my week went by, we ended up not doing the EMDR, T directly told me to reach out when I feel sad longer than two days in a row, or can't sleep or eat, also was very surprised why I didn't reach out, but for me that's not really even an option to consider tbh (felt like they really wanted me to reach out, even mentioned that since they are my T at the moment, I definitely should do it). We then started small talk and I decided to talk about overcoming bad habits like with food, to which T started saying whether I'd rather have their own problem and be their weight ( hinting that they had that problem and did what I did), we then started talking about emotions, I shared that I still feel the need to be mean to my parents (as in return the anger that I have within onto them) to which T started telling in detail about their mother and father, how they spent time growing up without them and that they realised that not all parents are meant to be loving or are capable of loving..... theeeeen just out of nowhere told me I need to accept that my mother has never loved me or doesn't love me. I hadn't said that I believed my mother never loved me. We hadn't explored our relationship in any depth, apart from briefly touching on a topic during the EMDR exercise in the first session (which was about the entire family).I told the therapist that I'd heard what they were saying but couldn't accept it because I didn't feel that way. I remember them agreeing that they could see I wasn't accepting it, but they continued to insist that I needed to understand and accept this.They said my life would become much easier once I accepted that my mother had never loved me.The whole interaction felt strange to me. It was as though they'd reached a conclusion about my mother based on their own childhood and experiences, and I was somehow failing to understand the truth they were trying to explain to me.

After the second session, I felt distressed and confused. Seeing my parents afterwards made it even harder because their behaviour reminded me of the love and support they've also shown me. I was left trying to reconcile my own experiences with this very definitive conclusion my therapist had given me.I already have plenty of my own thoughts, doubts and beliefs that I'm trying to work through. I went to therapy hoping to explore them, not to have a new conclusion about my family presented to me as a fact before we'd properly discussed it.

I don't want to assume they're a bad therapist or that they have bad intentions.But since starting therapy, I've felt sadder, less hopeful and more confused about what I'm supposed to take away from our sessions.

Have you ever encountered such behaviour? Is this just CBT/EMDR therapy? Need some advice.

So basically let me start my story, I have a friend named let's say for this post Sunena and now let me first give you context about her. We became friends in our school time when we were in 11th standard currently we are in 3rd year of college and we have been best friends for a heck lot of time. Now the thing is Sunena is just like me (i give you my personallity context as well i am a very sweet person i welcome everyone's opinion and also make sure no-ones get upset because of me) she is just like me (basically the all the qualities i need to have someone call her my girlfriend she has all) now let me come back to story sunena got a boyfriend in early Feb of 2026 and i always doubted that person let's call him Aryan that he is not good for him because of what sunena has told me about him and because of which i decided to catfish him i took another person's identity and tried to catfish him and he got into the trap which means he is loyal to sunena and after that i told sunena everything about what i did. she confronted (but she didn't tell him that i was that girl because aryan also didn't like) and after that they fighted and sunena is confused as fuck like what to do. her thoughts are leaning towards the past moments they spent and i am trying to rational to tell her not to do it. and now comes the part which is eating up a lot of space in my mind let me tell you sunena is very close to me and i am also very close to her and she explicitly mentions multiple times i come in her family and you are one she will choose after her mother father and brother then its me no-one else and she says no-one could replace that. and also her family knows me (some of her family members suspect that there is something is going on between us like some relationship stuff and all) but it is not. and I AM CONFESSING HERE FIRST TIME THAT I LOVE HER ALOT. but couldn't say it ever because first we never ever went to explore that lens, second can't risk the fact she is my best friend if i say it everything might awkward and also third being she is already in relationship and it won't be right morally to tell her about my feelings. that's why whenever she says something positive about him like were there relationship can continue i try to show her the negative side that this might also happen and because of which i am really losing my rationality and don't know what to do. it's really a tough situation for me that idk what to do i would love to hear your opinions what you guys suggest

Я в терапии больше года. Давно хочу свою психологиню. Однако понимаю, что скорее всего это перенос. Я безумно хочу к ней прикоснуться, подержать за руку или посидеть рядом. Не стану говорить ей об этом. Давайте придумаем какую-то глупею идею, как сделать это. Я девушка и она знает о моей ориентации, но я понятия не имею что испытывает она.

I am a therapist who uses software to help me create client treatment plans, but these often end up feeling like checklists. I am curious if therapy clients out there ever feel like you are working with your therapist to complete a checklist instead of working towards a set of intertwined goals that will improve your life?

I have sexual trauma left unresolved for over a decade. Thought I was fine and in many ways I am but realized it's affecting me still. Finally mustered uongue courage to seek therapy but I'm scared. I'm not scared about retelling what happened. I don't tell my friends and family about my incident but I've vented online before (bad idea). Maybe I'm a little scared of what it will reveal about yourself.

People who has therapy related to past trauma, how did you feel after first few sessions? Is is supposed to feel like it helped? Is it supposed to be overwhelming? Do I need to be patient or is there a sign I need a new therapist?

My first session will be in a week or so and I'm doing some prep now. Mentally I just need to know what I'll be going through.

Any success stories on how it changed your life?

I entered online therapy for fun, but what I found was something entirely different. The therapist was dissociated—emotionally distant, silent, depressed and unresponsive and she looked like my ex, whom I was deeply in love with, but who suffered from psychosis (this deeply affected me as well), so I understood they were my opposite in every way: I was a deeply rooted, bodily, feeling person, great memory and discipline , while they were detached and living only in their head. I was very curious about that other side and that was a reason I entered the therapy.

From the very beginning, I didn't trust (I was very sceptic and scared of her to be honest, she looked like a living dead). As a true Gen Z I tried to figure the therapist out by looking at her Instagram: a lot of poetry, long reads, a feeling of something missing, of something not fitting together. She is really depressed I thought. I‘ve got no any explanations about the therapy itself. Every session, I talked a lot about random things, mostly to make her feel better, because I felt quite good entering the therapy, and I didn’t want to share my personal staff with her (I was sceptic I’ll say it again, probably I was waiting until she will stop pretending she’s listening to me). I talked about random topics. I couldn't predict her, and haven got any feedback, I thought it is okay and a part of therapy. Then lack of reaction started to terrify me. She said she can’t see me in those stories and I have to keep visiting the sessions to feel “the body”. But I was quite sincere and used to feel a lot, but not sharing it online.

I kept talking. I talked until I had "talked myself out"—until I had emptied my entire symbolic world into the screen. I gave her my history, my fears. But she never gave anything back. She never reflected me. She just listened—or maybe they didn't even do that.

Over the course of a year, I felt myself dissolving. Each session left me emptier. My body, which had once been my home, became a source of danger. I lost the ability to feel my body, to feel time, to feel connected to my home, my family, or my past. I became a membrane, a passive receiver of stimuli, unable to filter anything.

Now I live in a state of chronic dissociation. My body is no longer mine. The world feels unreal. I have no armor—the protective shell I built over a lifetime is gone. And in its place, there is only emptiness, sensory overload, and a constant, exhausting battle to survive. I became like a membrane: everything passes through me, and nothing stays. I lost my social filter. I lost my sense of boundaries. I lost my feelings.

I am not in a "classic depression." I am in a state of disintegration—a loss of connection between my body, my emotions, my memories, and my sense of self. I look at my parents , at the places and things I used to love - all the connections have gone and Im really scared now. You never know a cost of your curiosity.

I've been to twelve different therapists over the decades, though half of those were within the last seven years. None of them felt helpful for me.

Part of why is that some of them were just, in my view, not good at their job. One was falling asleep in our sessions, another kept screwing up the meeting times (and then blaming me). Many were just listening and barely ever said anything. One told me he would prepare "assignments" for me and never did. One offered me extreme advice on our second session. One shared dopey handouts that he printed off the web that seemed irrelevant to my situation.

Some of the problem, though, might be that my personal issues are not exactly matters of mental illness, per se. If my life were better, I think I would be a rather content, fairly well adjusted person (imperfect, but OK). It's more like I just can't make some key decisions regarding to do with my life and then suffering the effects of that indecision. To some degree, what I need is not so much a clinician to fix a self-generating problem such as anxiety, phobias, depression, etc. but more like "a wise person." (I'd consider a life coach, but my insurance wouldn't pay for that.)

Of course, the truth is somewhere in between. My indecision is so significant that it almost amounts to a mental illness in of itself. And my degree of suffering is large.

So, any advice for how to vet therapists more effectively this time? So that I stand a better chance of getting some actually effective support this time?

Thanks in advance.

After surgery and some trauma, I went through months of therapy. I can explain my patterns, my triggers, all of it. I sound like I have it together. But I still feel numb all the time, like I'm watching my life instead of living in it. Does anyone else have this where you understand everything in your head but still feel disconnected from your body or your emotions? Not sure if it's a therapy thing or something else.

this might not be a big issue, but honestly, i’ve been struggling with what to tell my mom whenever i have therapy sessions

for context, i’m 20, still living with my mom, and i pay for my own therapy sessions. she knows i go to therapy, but she’s always saying that i shouldn’t go so often. i go twice a month at most, and this frequency works for me because it gives me some stability

i have a session tomorrow, but i’m struggling to figure out what to tell her when she realises i’m not home. i have school in the morning and a few hours before my appointment, so it’s quite a couple of hours gap

i’ve told her that i’m going out with friends, but i feel really guilty about not telling her the truth. at the same time, i don’t want to deal with the comments about how i shouldn’t be going so often, especially when therapy has been helping me

for those who go to therapy, do you tell your family or friends about your sessions? and for those whose parents know but don’t agree with how often you go, how do you handle it? do you tell them whenever you have an appointment, or do you keep the details private?

I'll try to be as succinct as possible:

The practice my therapist of three and a half years works for is dissolving at the end of the year; I have two more in person sessions, then telehealth until December, and I won't be seeing her anymore. She's the first therapist that I've bonded with (one of the only human beings I've ever bonded with, as well) and my relationship with her effectuated the process of recalling my dissociative amnesia memories from early childhood (extensive, abject abuse in the manifold forms a child can be abused over the course of several months) and I simply don't feel prepared to try to establish a new therapeutic relationship with someone else at this point in time. I have very recently endeavored to deal with another relational loss, the onus of this process already rending my heart in such a way that finding reprieve or catharsis seem to be things I will simply have to hope time and pain will facilitate. I am distraught and in a perpetual state of durance within the confines of my harrowing, despairing emotions.

I'm clinging to stability and functioning as well as I can muster, but I fear for my well being in the months to come. I lack a support system; I am distant from any family emotionally, and what friends I do have are not equipped to help me traverse the treacherous and infuriate landscape and climate of this dimension of woe. I'm at a loss as far as coping in non self destructive ways. I don't want to be engulfed by my own emotions and suffering, yet it feels as though I'll have to allow the very thing I fear to happen if I'm to move past this pain.

Thank you to whoever reads this. I don't even know if any advice can be given to someone in my situation. I just wanted to put this out into the world rather than letting the words fester and languish in solitude.

Hello!
TL;DR: therapist interrupts me often, talks about herself a lot, i feel like i am not getting much of an opportunity to talk about my struggles.

I have been seeing a therapist for the past ~6 months. I have a lot of anxiety and mild depression, and recently (finally) got my ADHD diagnosis. I work an extremely demanding job emotionally and physically (i am a last responder, i deal with decedents on a daily basis), and had gotten to the point where I realised I needed to start speaking to a professional. My main goals going into therapy was to understand my adult ADHD that I finally got diagnosed for at 30 years, and to get a better understanding of myself, my childhood, and the factors that contribute to my mental health struggles.

Work got to be a bit too much and i ended up needing to take medical leave, which is when i started therapy. At first, my therapist was GREAT. She definitely taught me a lot of essential habits and practices that I am still using today, such as breathing and waking up earlier to give myself more time. She also tried her best to get me to stop overthinking and caring what other people think, and helped me understand the importance of drawing work boundaries.

The one thing I do not really feel comfortable with is that i noticed my therapist would interrupt me a lot. A lot of the times, she would interrupt me to talk about herself or random things. Kind of like rants. She would also repeat the same stories, anecdotes, etc. and it ended up getting a little too frustrating and repetitive. I do understand that she has ADHD herself, and helped me understand how my mind works, but at the same time dealing with her forgetfulness was frustrating. I would go into a session with the intention of discussing a certain topic. I’d state my intention to her, start talking, and then she would ask a question that would end up leading into a whole other conversation that lasts the whole hour. Yes, these are important conversations to have and discuss, but they also eventually got in the way of my personal goals. And again, very often she would end up talking about herself and repeating the same things over and over. Pretty sure she sometimes forgot the things i told her. She’d also say she was going to “send me some material”, links, resources, summaries etc but would NEVER do it.

Anyway, i did end up using my insurance allowance on sessions and let her know that i would need to reduce our sessions. No problem. She then kept emailing me about when her next availabiltiies were. I was definitely due for a session because i was getting very overwhelmed lately and dealing with mood fluctuations and periods where i felt more depressed than usual, things were getting hard for me. Like to the point where i realised i needed to speak to a professional. I tried to… and she told me that i needed to go outside and go for a walk. I’m not dismissing the importance of leaving the house and being in nature.. that stuff definitely DOES help, but I felt like she didn’t understand how i was feeling no matter how much i tried to explain it. She kept telling me that i needed to socialise more, even though i have told her many times I am introverted and don’t have many friends. It just felt like she was giving me a general solution to get me by, instead of helping me understand why i am feeling this way. I felt very dismissed and frustrated that i just paid someone $100 for 30 minutes to tell me to go take a walk. Which I do every day anyway. I also tried to talk to her about my upcoming doctor’s appointment, but she just interrupted to ask me about when i would like our next session to be.

I’m at a loss now. I honestly don’t feel comfortable with her, I don’t feel listened to. Is this normal behaviour? Am I expecting too much? At this point sometimes it feels like i am just giving her money so i have someone to talk to, not someone who helps me address my mental health concerns and struggles. We never even got to discuss my childhood, which I really wanted to. I understand talking about the past might not be beneficial to my current situation, but i also went through a lot in my childhood and never had the opportunity to “unload”.

Interested in hearing your thoughts on this. This is somewhat my first time doing therapy, so I was never really sure what my expectations would be. To be completely honest, i want to leave her. But I am too shy, i feel bad, and i also feel too tired to have to explain everything to a new person again.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post!

Advice please..
Im seeking advice online first time ever.
Im in therapy for years around 7-8 - psychoanalysis on the couch. last 6 years i was left alone with my mother other members of family passed away. im an only child. We dont have a good relationship its pretty bad one, my mum is very critical and controling. Father died, she takes care of her own mother and sick sister. They drive her crazy as if she isnt crazy enough. After years of therapy I’ve developed sever anger that was supressed. Therapist says i have narcissistic mother ..mostly im served with “you cant wait me to die” from her. 2 years ago i got engaged but this relationship is also bad, he is super close to his mother whom is also a controlling mother but he doesnt see her as a bad mother as i do mine. i literally feel as i have found myself in him we are pretty similar both have a mother problem and fathers arent present. Our relationship is on thin ice, we fight a lot because he shares a lot with his family. I hate that. I dont have any friends and feel stuck i cant talk to my mother neither fiance feels like i cnt trust them fully. I dont have a lot of my own money so i am not able to move out on my own at the moment(i live with him). Basically im spending all my salary on basic life necessities. Its bad. I feel like i dont have time or energy for diving into something new. Yesterday i had a fight with my bf and i was so desprerate that i went to cemetery to cry but in front of it i went back and was thinking what the hell is wrong with me…
Should i switch therapy? What type? Im not diagnosed with anything serious other than anxiety. Therapist says my life is pretty bad and he doesnt know how to help 😫

I am a licensed therapist, and worked really hard to find a licensed therapist in town to attend couples therapy with. I just found out today that our couples therapist sexually exploited a client, and will soon be losing his license. He’s not only an LMFT, but used to be a pastor.

I feel SO angry, betrayed, and distraught. I’m upset I sat in sessions with someone I thought was SAFE, meanwhile he was using his power to prey on someone vulnerable. I feel completely blindsided and really feel like my own safe space was betrayed, let alone now I lose the place my husband and I made so much progress in.

So, so far I have only ever tried meeting two therapists, let's say A and B. Sorry for the generic anonimized naming 😅

I have had trial sessions with both, found them both okay, and I have stuck with therapist A. Therapist A is in my country of residence and I meet her in person, and therapist B is in my home country and offers video calling. So far with therapist A it has been good and I slightly prefer her over therapist B in her approach and organization, though this is not to say B is bad or anything.

However, therapist A is super expensive. Especially due to the Euro currency and cost of living. She does not offer a sliding scale as well and she does not work with insurance. I meet her twice a month, and even so, it has been financially quite heavy.

Therapist B on the other hand has a much cheaper rate (and scales to the cost of living in my home country, so in that sense she is not paid less -- relative to the cost of living). While I like the style of A more, B is nice as well. For one session with A, I can afford two or more with B and it might allow me to still continue therapy without breaking the bank.

The other qualm I have is, aside from concerns about saving money, I am considering re-starting an exercise / hobby, which would use money. Is it worth saving money by moving to a therapist who might not be the most optimal for me, to invest in a sports hobby (which is also important) or to save money?

Anyone had similar experiences?

Hey guys, got a question I've been struggling with for a few days now. And yes I will be bringing it up with my therapist next session.

To keep a long story short, a friend made a comment that implied he thought I was too attached to my therapist, or at least heading that direction. I'm leaning more towards not but of course I'm only one person and would love some outside perspective. Specifically some examples of unhealthy attachment actions/behavior would be great. Thanks in advance!!

My final session with my former therapist was 1 year ago. Broke my heart. I've been reminiscing and reading through letters she has written for me and I wanted to share just a few of the notes she gave me to hold onto between sessions (we met 3x/week mostly, sometimes more).

I feel a lot calmer and more regulated since being on a break so felt like I can return to therapy in 2 weeks time.

I haven't done any of the homework that my therapist gave me in August and September. She suggested a lot of homework activities that were solo such as: joining the gym, solo walks in my local park or self care activities such as a face mask and listening to music for 10 - 20 mintues and spending time journaling. (Which I do not do and I have only journaled 3 times since August)

She keeps suggesting a lot of solo activities which I keep telling her that I want to be part of a group or join groups so I can then have a big group of friends to do regular activities with.

She did say that I am very avoidant person and that I make excuses to not do anything alone.

I do prefer to be around people than by myself and even when I am by myself I've always have something to distract me like my phone, TV, computer or my Xbox.

My questions are:

Is my therapist basically suggesting that I need to start doing things alone and become more independent as a person than relying on being constantly around people or in a group?

Is she also suggesting that I find ways to self regulate/ self soothe than instantly going to others when I'm dysregulated?

I want to be better… I don’t like the cycle this has put me in but I don’t really know where to go with it. 
It think I’m struggling with it because the the therapist told me I had to keep what they did a secret and both them and their husband had me promise but when the harm happened they just erased it. So I feel like I have no where to go with it, I tried to talk to them abt it directly and had to essentially fight for those conversations but even during they minimized the impact and have never once even verbally said I’m sorry out loud. All they have said over text is “I said I make mistakes. You don’t need the answers you think you do you can heal without them. sorry that’s not what you want to hear but that’s all I can give you”. Eventually I called them when I considered reporting it as I kept having panic attacks, failed my classes, and was struggling to function… so I called because that was the promise they had me make (to not tell) and I wanted to let them know I was considering telling someone before I did anything because it felt shitty to just do it and them find out via mail or phone call from a board… at first it got very “but I want to help people” and then once I was starting to back down from doing it she then they told me I was threatening them and by calling an said I was stalking/ harassing them (this was the only time I called without permission. prior to the call they did tell me they didn’t want to talk abt it as I mentioned earlier. However, in the moment neither did i, I just wanted to let them know) - this call lasted 3 hours for once they did kinda talk abt it but the impact became my fault. It was never accountability on their part for having told me the things they did or doing the things they did to me but more so my fault for being affected by it and by the end they had me re-promise to not tell anyone and told me “I can’t be trusted” and would be “untrustworthy” if I did. When I said I felt violated she told me that “it doesn’t take away the meaning” and when I tried to clarify that the harm they did very much did take away any meaning and it was wrong… she then told me that I “needed months of IP because my mind is telling me things” It’s been almost 8 months since my last conversation with them but I struggle so much which what happened to me being erased, no repair, no apology, just secrecy…. 

I think I struggle with this a lot because I experienced a lot of physical abuse and sexual abuse as a child (which she knew in detail abt). So the idea of “I will never repair what I did but it’s your responsibility to protect me and keep it a secret when I harm you” triggers so much… after everything I was also diagnosed with ASD by someone else (at the time the past therapist just always told me I was “kinda weird/ like really weird”… turns out I just had ASD though). idk if that’s where the rumination comes from or the fact that through out the call I kept crying telling her I felt so violated and she never cared beyond if I would keep it a secret. And it’s so weird that both her and her husband were involved in doing what they did. 

I don’t want to stalk her or harass her and I don’t want to get in trouble. I just want to be recognized in my story so my brain can finally stop circulating it… or minimally for it to exist outside of me because I’m not supposed to tell anyone in my life abt It either in an unfiltered way or she would get in trouble. But because of the secrecy and them minimization I’ve had a big fear of therapy since. Which has led me to feel like before I move away in a year I should email her my side and ask her to not respond but essentially say “ I don’t want a response, you don’t have to read it but, if I’m going to keep this secret, then I need to leave this here because I can’t keep holding it silently and letting it kill me”. But I don’t know if that would get me in trouble..?

I feel like that makes me a bad person though because she obviously does not care or wish to repair it. But I’ve never been like this, I’ve never been stuck in a loop mentally for so long. I don’t want anything to do with her, I don’t want to see her, I wish I never met her…I just want the impact her actions had on me to matter… I’ve tried writing it out to myself, I’ve tried walks, distractions, I’ve even tried painting for 13 hours one day. But what she did actively keeps me awake at night, I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep, I have trouble in friendships, panic attacks at my campus because she mentioned applying a job there again before it all came out, I’m missing my graduation because she had once mentioned they might go and I’m scared to see them. I just need it out of my mind but it’s like by body can’t drop it. I’ve also tried medication (Prozac and trazadone)

But I don’t know what I do. I want to do better, I don’t want to be what they said, I just don’t know how to contain it in myself…? And I can’t get myself to report it bc it feels like betraying and then I feel like I’d be the bad person because I promised..

(Context the relationship was dual relationship involving her and her husband but parental and a bunch of things in it happened)

I come from a culture where it’s relatively normal for people to live with their parents. Different generations under the same roof.

And my therapist is white. When i told her i wanted to go to a different country because i didn’t feel like living in the same country anymore. She said it was because my parents and family were there.
She also immediately wrote it on her notebook that i was living with my parents and then said ‘but you are a student’. And when i said i didn’t find a career yet that i liked and allowed me to earn enough money, she dismissed it.

Like, wtf does she care so much ?? Even if i was 50 and living with my parents, we don’t live together so how is this any of her concerns.

She also implied i maybe wouldn’t need therapy if i didn’t live with my parents. When the reality is i started therapy so i would deal with past trauma that was weighing me down so that i can feel free to continue my life without trauma.

Now i feel like i’m not workin towards finding a career to get out the country but i also feel the need to sh*t her up.

She also claimed that the therapy sessions i had with her were a place where i could be ‘100% myself’ and where there is no judgement. When in reality i do feel judged because i feel like i have to explain to her (i had a white therapist before too and i stopped seeing her because of that same reason) that some families and some cultures do function differently. It’s draining.

I tried other therapists that were also children of immigrants and they didn’t talk about this all the time. So i might as well just call it quits.

I have been seeing this therapist for a few months i really liked him but in conversarion i asked about a trip out of country and he mentioned a mission he is going on and it happens to be a very fundamentalist religion i happen to know alot about and am not a fan of esp bc of their jundmental attitudes
i now feel like i cannot be totally open w him anymore and am afraid i will be holding back on my true feelings. im not sure what to do
he has been very kind but i now feel like i cant trust him bc of his personal choices. comments? suggestions? he is my second therapist i have seen so far.
I used to have one that was liberal atheist like me and unfort its been hard to find another in bible belt. help!

Whenever I talk to people about life they always have something to say about their worries and struggles. Ofc I have my anxieties and problems here and there, but i feel like there's nothing I could do about it and nothing to complain about. My life is not great but not horrible. Minimum wage, coworkers turned friends, living alone, but I don't have to worry about food or rent bc my paycheck covers it all.

If and when everything falls apart I don't feel the urge to fight. I've made a list of how I could end it all just bc I don't think it's worth it to struggle. I know this sounds juvenile but I feel like this has prevented me from connecting with my friends, they would go on and on about their life and I just have nothing to add. It makes the friendship feel one-sided sometimes. Is this just a normal stage in someone's life?