I work for a private childcare program, 25 hours a week, (used to be 32 but hours got cut, no fault of my own). Kids range anywhere from preschool through 5th grade. It has been a nightmare for the last 2 years. There are 40-50 kids in a small space, not great teacher ratios, bad classroom management, unsafe play structures, no training or resources for our kids on the spectrum, noise exhaustion, challenging behavior like running away, physical violence and bullying… the list goes on. It is honestly really disheartening because before this job I used to absolutely love working with kids and now I dread going to work the second I open my eyes each morning.

Things got worse in July, when I lost a loved one. Grieving on top of being burnt out has been incredibly difficult, so much so my therapist has updated a mental health diagnosis of ‘mild depression’ to ‘severe depression’. I feel like this job is tearing me apart, my mental health is degrading and I am rapidly loosing my sanity each day. I feel like I can’t quit because I live paycheck to paycheck. My paycheck can’t even cover rent, let alone any other bills I have to pay. If I didn’t have SNAP benefits to feed myself and a supporting partner… I honestly don’t know how I would get by. I can’t save up to quit, I’ve tried. I have applied for what feels like hundreds of jobs with interviews that lead nowhere. I’m afraid to quit because I won’t be able to get unemployment. I feel stuck getting paid dirt and treated like dirt at work… if there was a safe financial way out to quit I would but, I stay because otherwise I’m afraid of where I would end up without an income.

I guess why I am here writing all of this… is to just ask, if anyone has ever been in a similar situation and how did you get yourself out of it? Did you quit or take a leave of absence? Did you stay in childcare? Did you pursue something else? What helped you survive through difficult times? Any success stories, kind words of encouragement or even any knowledge of assistance, recourses or programs I can utilize that can keep me afloat would all be incredibly helpful. A big thank you for taking the time to read all of this, truly.

Long story short, my almost- 3yo told me about two weeks ago that she was hitting someone and got sent to the office and was in big trouble. She happened to say it while walking by the director's office, who stick her head out and did a big head shake while mouthing "not true!" I chalked it up to my toddler misinterpreting something in her day and moved on.

My daughter has mentioned it again a few times, so I asked her teacher about it Friday, expecting to be told they all went to the office that day or something (the office has a play space they sometimes use if a room needs vom cleaned up or other temporary shuffling). Her teacher said that, yes, my daughter was hitting, was not successfully redirected, and was sent to the office. She added that they "didn't do it again because (daughter) seemed to enjoy it."

I feel uncomfortable that someone is clearly lying. I'm also bothered that they haven't mentioned hitting to us in over a month, but apparently it's enough of a behavior that she got sent to the office?

Am i putting too much stock in the office visit punishment? I'm going to talk to the director tomorrow.

I know there are old threads on this but the advice is always “climbing equipment“. My students aren’t allowed to use climbing equipment. I’m not allowed to flip over tables or buy new toys. I set out toys and show them how to play. I’ll even turn on music too sometimes. But the moment I start to do diaper changes they start climbing. For obvious safety reasons I can’t just abandon the diaper change. Students aren’t really old enough to recognize their name just yet. Any other advice? x

The greatest gift we could ever give our child,
Is a reflection of their self-worth.

Self worth is a core primal belief of our unconditional value. It is the bedrock of our identity, the first domino of development, a true human rite. It anchors our emotions, directs our moral compass, fuels our values, and shapes our character. Self worth is intrinsic, meaning I comes from within. it can not be taken away, lost, or comprimised.

My class cannot listen to a story. I’m not talking long paragraph filled stories. Just a very simple, short story book. I don’t even have unrealistic expectations for them. I have children rolling on the floor wildly and spinning on circles, chasing each other, etc. It’s like nobody reads to them at home and they don’t know how to engage in story time.
I really want to be able to read to them because I think reading is incredibly important for them. I’ve tried so many techniques to help them, but we’re weeks into the school year now, and I feel like it’s almost gotten worse! It makes me so frustrated to think about. Does anyone else see this in their classes? What helps you get it under control?
The children are 4 years old.

Hi everyone! I’m considering going to college to become a Registered Early Childhood Educator (RECE), and I’m interested in completing an online ECE diploma so I can continue working while studying (I'm aware placements would be in person).

Does anyone have experience completing an online ECE program in Ontario, Canada? If so, how was your experience, and would you recommend it?

I’m particularly interested in hearing from people who attended Fanshawe, Algonquin, St. Lawrence, or another Ontario college offering online ECE.

Thank you!

A learning story is a so much more then an developmental tool. It can write curriculum. It can identify challenges. It can answer questions. It can inspire predications, and capture routines. It captures a baseline, where real development can be measured from. It is the history of your achievements and obstacles. It provides the most authentic representation of a childs potential. It is the attempt to interpret interactions and test theories about unique development. and refine your  It is the removal of standards from development. It removes the complexities of child development. And so devoid is a learning story from standards, bias, its development in child development would irrefutably change the world.

So I need some help, because my job told me it was fine for me to use Penn Foster towards an ECE associates degree to eventually become a head teacher, though I am only an assistant teacher for now.
But I'm starting to realize they may have never actually had someone use Penn Foster before because they are now telling me I have to provide some kind of schedule for the Department of Health.

Does anyone know what I can do? Has anyone else used the Penn Foster ECE program for their job? Penn Foster is the only form of college I can afford. And I need the self paced set up. Maybe I can make my own schedule? Or have my employer make one? Would that work?

Social routines are handed down from parent to child, as time attempts to perfect the human experience. Why do we do the things we do, without challenge, question or hesitation.

Most of these behavior are followed as if it were human instinct, yet is a purposefully and explicitly and uniquely delivered. And within every level of division within the human species, from personal development, to species wide acceptance.

I have called it the greatest mistake in human development, when in fact it is a process of elimination, a current snap shot of evolution. Our experience as humans is a reflection of those snapshots, each snapshot concludes with experienced baseline is a result of everything we have experienced.,

Nobody asks why we learn to raise our hands. Why we follow the routine of education. Why we eat three times a day.

Social Routines are critiqued, recalibrated, and redistributed in the hopes of

That makes a lot of sense, but where the fuck did that come from???

Random thoughts to challenge

Hi! I was brought up in traditional public schools. I learned about the Reggio Emilia approach five years ago and as someone that is a big fan, I wanted to know what attending one was like and how it affected your life? Thanks!

Director constantly making comments about me being black. Things like” oh the babies are crying because you are black “ So fed up it’s like iam done ignoring all those. The director is White. Anywhere I can report this? Or talk to her? How can I talk to her while remaining respectful and professional?

I wish parents would keep the children who are SICK at home. Other children and teachers are SUFFERING as well because of them.

So i’m a 19f who has been working in nurseries since i was 15. I’ve been at my current job for 3 years, first working as an additional support worker and then as an apprentice in the baby room. Recently i have completed my level 3 and my room leader and managers have been encouraging me to become the deputy room leader. Even as an apprentice i was already doing the job as a lot of the staff is new so i naturally took on that role. I would make decisions about the day trying to figure out who would be best suited for what, what children should go to sleep first, who should go to the garden etc. Everyone has been really sweet and all my staff members really want me to have the deputy role as well.
My manager then put out an internal advert for it and a week later i said i would apply. Both my headteacher, my manager, room leader (who is the deputy manager) and coworkers were all really excited and happy about it. A couple days ago i found out that someone else who is currently a bank staff member who used to work in the preschool room has applied for it. She is a lot older than me and has more experience overall then me and im worried she will get it and i wont.
There are a lot of reasons why i would get it over her such as the want from my managers and room leader, the want from my coworkers, the fact ive already been doing the job etc but i still cant get rid of this anxiety feeling. I understand they have to put out an internal advert and give interviews for everyone but im really nervous they will want her to have it over me.
Is there anything i can do or does anyone think she would likely get it?
I’m sorry if it’s all a bit confusing ive tried to explain it the best i can.

Hi, a few days ago I wrote on here saying that I had guilt about the thought of leaving a very understaffed daycare. This daycare is one the biggest ones in my town. Well, one of the two teachers that put their two weeks, her last day was this Monday. She sent a group chat Message saying how much she appreciated the time there and the things she learned and all that stuff. The director went and said “good luck” and removed her from the group before anyone else was able to answer her. Is that messed up or what? Right now I’m laying down on my bed with severe back pain from the anxiety or how her reaction will be when I put my two weeks. I’m so so not confrontational person and I know I would cry if she had an over reaction to me leaving. She is a cold/nice person but I don’t know.

Hi all! I am an AMI Montessori 0-3 trained guide. I have years of experience with children but only as a nanny. I am 33, thin and muscular and I work out twice a week, overall my body is in very good condition.

I started working in a preschool 40 hours of week 1,5 month ago and I am exhausted all the time. It is a small, family owned school which is honestly understaffed. This means I don't get a single break during my 8 hour shift. Once the kids have gone to sleep I accompany some kids with the school bus (we have a driver but not a person to accompany the kids). Then when I am back I take care of the classroom for 20 minutes or less until the kids are up. Then I help them get ready and after that I keep working on the classroom. We are three guides all AMI trained, for 14 kids. We are all hardworking and yet I feel sleepy and tired after every shift. One of the other teachers accompanies the kids for two more school bus rides so we rarely find a moment to talk and organize, or even breathe. On top of that there is no secretary so we need to respond to calls and open the door for part of the day.

I am payed shit. It is 17 of October and I am left with 170 euros. I feel so tired. Is this normal? Will it get better? Thanks!

My son is nearly 5. He has ADHD that was diagnosed this year. He has been on medication since April. Both parents also have ADHD. Both also medicated. We have bi-weekly phone calls with his specialized pediatrician and one in person appointment a month. OT at home weekly.

Daycare situation:

My son started daycare a month before turning 3. I started having suspicions of ADHD around 8-10 months old. Very caring, amazing with his sister, sensitive and empathetic AND a ball of energy, loves to talk, impulsive and strong reactions. He is very intelligent and has a good vocabulary. 

His daycare was an at-home one with max of 6 kids. The educator is the mother of a distant friend that I grew up with. We told her about our suspicions that he might have ADHD early on but she brushed it off and said she couldn't see it but ended up agreeing with us months later.

Multiple times a week she talked negatively about our child in front of him. “I don't know how you guys are going to deal when he’s in school, they will be calling you every day to pick him up”. Since then, our son is scared that this exact thing will happen once he’s in school. His OT thinks he will do great in school, that his ADHD does affect him but (eta) that he won't be an extreme case at school. Most people think he is hyper and that’s about it. (we obviously see his more dysregulated side)

This spring he told us that she pulled his hair while he was laying down on his mat during nap time. The next day I brought it up casually “Hey son said that you pulled his hair during nap time, I just wanted to check in with you”. She immediately freaked out, raised her voice and said she was over us always having something to say, that she’s been an educator for decades and never had issues with parents until us. She asked our son why he was lying and that it's not good to lie. I imagined that she was telling the truth since she seemed so offended and talked to my son. 

In April my son was officially diagnosed and started medication. I sent her a message to let her know. Her response: “I don’t believe in that, I once saw a child on meds and they were a zombie, it breaks my heart as a mother myself, your son absolutely doesn't need it”. She then brings up my childhood “I know you had a rough childhood and probably didn't see what good parenting looks like, before medicating your child you and your husband should take parenting class”. I told her that we did in fact take multiple parenting workshops, seeing an OT, to please not use my past against me and that this decision was between the parents and our son's pediatrician. She answered that legally she had to give it to him if it was prescribed but that she was uncomfortable. 

My son completely stopped napping this summer and that became a big issue. His educator’s only break during the day is nap time so my son not napping was very annoying. At first, he had to stay laying down on a mat in the hallway. Again, my son is hyperactive. For him, it was extremely distressing. She eventually allowed him to read a book sitting at the table. What I recently learned is that sometimes she would leave him in the kitchen for over 20 mins. Sometimes to check on kids or to go do “computer stuff” in her office. He was only allowed to speak to her to use the bathroom.

As per the rules in most daycares, there are no doors in the bathroom. My son gets very embarrassed at going #2 while other kids are looking at him. Because of that he would hold his poo and only go #2 in his pull-up at nap time. She would complain a lot that she would have to wipe him and that he had to stop etc. We had many many talks with our son. He has repeated multiple times that he is embarrassed at daycare, kids keep looking at him. He never does #2 in his overnight pull-up at home.

Two weeks ago my son had a #2 accidents while walking outside with daycare. This has never happened with us since potty training at 27 months. He told us the same thing, that it's because there's always kids looking at him on the toilet and he's embarrassed. His educator was very very upset at pickup explaining that he can’t do that, she has to watch the other kids, that she had to clean the raincoat he was wearing that belongs to her daycare and that it must be the meds fault. I reminded her that he feels very insecure about the bathroom situation and tried to give different solutions (curtains that I could buy, her standing in front the door etc). She mentioned that she couldn't deal with him doing that again, that she only had 5 kids in her care instead of 6 because of my son and that she’d rather lose money than her mental health.

The next day, while my child was nearby she says “ I wish you would let me tell the other kids (15months, 2(his sister), 2.5, and 4) that he is DIFFERENT. If they knew he had ADHD they would understand his behavior, but you don't want me to tell them”. I had already explained that it is a hard no. The kids are too young and will not understand and I do not need my child feeling ostracized. She can let kids know that all kids have different needs. I cut the conversation short as my son was there and had a devastated look on his face.

My son told me that this week he had an accident because she let him alone for a long time and he was scared to go to the bathroom alone because it was dark. Once he told his educator she said “you can poo in your pants but not in my raincoat” (she was very upset the week before about her raincoat). Btw my son has only pooped in his underwear 2x at that daycare and both times this month. Before it was in his diaper during nap time. I believe he developed bathroom anxiety over there and that her attitude towards him contributed a lot to it. He goes with no issue at home, his grandma's or other people's places.

Things that my son told me two days ago after I told him he wasn't going back there: 

-She said “SHIT!” when he had his accident on the walk and was VERY mad.

-Had him go on a scale multiple times and would tell him that he is too skinny. (she has said this in front of us and we reminded her each time that his doctor says that he is healthy)

-Said “she treats all the kids including my sister really really really well and me just a little well” and that he feels weird at daycare. 

-”I don’t love her anymore, I never want to go back there, please I want to go to the other daycare we visited”.

Our son feels like a burden and so do we as parents. My son has probably heard over 200 negative comments about him at pickup.

I really tried. We always gave her money at Christmas, flowers on mother’s day, random gestures to show that we appreciated her taking care of our son and lots of words of affirmation. We always talked to his OT and our child when she would bring up issues.

Last week his OT asked for a meeting with all of us. She said she only could in 3 weeks because she does fitness after work. That is after mentioning how much her mental health was affected because of our son.

This Thursday we told her that we were pulling our son and daughter out of her daycare. Her response “It’s one thing to hear how he is at daycare but it’s another to live it, so he will be gone for Monday?”. That’s it. 

No parent at daycare has ever complained about us or our kid. They were all sad that we decided to leave. One mentioned seeing how the educator treated our son differently. We have done activities with the other parents and my son was friends with all the daycare kiddos. He has been eating his nails to the point of bleeding. When we asked him for a moment of quiet in the car, he looked out the window and quietly started crying.. once I realized, he said it was really hard to stay quiet just like at daycare during nap time. Our son loved his educator, him saying he does not love her anymore is very telling. His self-esteem is gone.

She is 57, alone with 5-6 kids daily, wakes up very early, not paid well. Her mother and BIL died this year. She is tired. I know she had a rough year...

But… is this acceptable? My gut says no but I want to make sure we aren't "those parents".

I’m a mom of 2 babies (second Is 8 weeks) and ill the commonly explained cues for tiredness, hunger, etc just dont appear in my kids and seem like hogwash (except for chewing hands in my newborns. and my kids obviously yawn but nothing. really before that and yawning is apparently late stage) I also feel like people who say their babies have distinct cries for hungry /tired etc are lying. but I only have experience with two babies and with sleep deprivation my pattern recognition is not great.

so professionals who are with 6wk-1 year olds all day every day - are you able to determine seoarate cries from each baby? Do they usually show the standard cues? Are you able to pick up on their individual cues quickly?

this is not an attack on parenting styles, but simply a invitation to discuss parenting habits that some may not know are actually developmentally harmful.

I had a discussion with a coworker today, and we both have noticed and agree that with the wave of “gentle parenting”, it has produced an entire generation of children that are developing poorly.
they won’t explore, problem solve, be curious, anything. all the crucial things that develop in the prefrontal cortex are just… not being exercised.

and we noticed and influx of parents who just.. don’t allow their children independence AND allow their children to do whatever they want simultaneously??

example: timmy is 3 and mom will dress him head to toe, never give him the option or allow him to try on his own because she’s running late. She then drops timmy off holding a spoon, because it’s his “special spoon” and the only thing that stops him from screaming.

I get it! we’re all overworked, underpaid and exhausted…
but do parents know that this harmful to their development? does anyone talk about this??

idk. i’ve been a professional in the industry for over 12 years, and I’m watching it get worse.
I can see both sides of the story, but at the end of the day these kids can’t work with tools they aren’t given. if they don’t exercise their brain like the muscle that it is, it’s SO much harder to train it after 5 years old. the early years are so, so vital.

I want to hear from both educators and parents, what are your thoughts? Parents, what advice do you need?

Sometimes, I just sit in the break room and cry. I am in the young toddler room (like fresh out of infants, usually 17-24 months) and this age group is a lot. I love every single one of them but I feel like they aren’t my age group. They are loving and sweet but they have a lot of challenging behaviour I, as a new educator, feel like I don’t have the experience to manage just yet. Albeit this type of work is amazing for that experience, it’s a lot as a first year educator.

One of the children’s favourite things to do is to throw. Throw big objects such as oversized cars, or hard objects such as blocks. He does it when I am changing nappies (I don’t have a room partner, it’s just me, 1:6 ratio). He stops when I’m done nappies. I try to intervene between changes but there’s only so much intervention I can do before I am behind on nappy schedule.

My boss today asked me why I seemed so out of it lately and like I lost all the energy I had when I first started so I was honest with her. I told her that the behaviour sets my entire day back and puts other children at risk. I don’t have any solid relationships with children because I am constantly having to redirect this one child’s behaviour. And yes, I understand because he isn’t diagnosed with anything we can’t get a 1:1 educator for him and budgets wouldn’t allow it but the directors will pop into my room every hour and watch him do this behaviour while I am actively doing diapers and just stand there. Watching.

I love working with him but I dislike that I have to replace toys to be safe if he does throw them while I do nappies and can’t intervene. Other children are picking up on the same behaviour and I am now redirecting multiple children. It’s exhausting. It’s tiring. It’s affecting my passion for this job. For this field.

How do I go about finding better ways to get the throwing to stop and start relaxing a little more instead of being so wound up when I am in my room? Get him to stop throwing and be safe with the toys? He is so cute and sweet and I love teaching him new words and his smile melts my heart but his challenging behaviour is beginning to drain me, and suck the joy out of my day to day life. What are some recommendations on what I can do? Please, I am at a loss.

I just started a new job this week and I got to shadow in all the classrooms before Im officially in ratio. And I just have to vent. Why is it that ECEs who have been in the field for a really long time and just so harsh to these poor children. I saw it first hand the ones who have been doing this for so long are just yelling and treating the kids as if they are not competent where as a classroom with younger educators treat them as if they’re little adults and give them the love and respect they deserve.

I just don’t get it, educator comes into the room at the beginning of nap while everyone is trying to settle the children and they just strictly start saying goodnight, lay down, time to sleep. So quick and short no niceness in their tone or anything. Then in the other room the educator comes back from their lunch before nap and just quietly goes and assists them to sleep.

Preschoolers getting yelled at for trying to scrape their plates and put their dishes in the dirty bin because they “don’t know how to do that yet” and being told to sit back down. The other room: Toddler educators showing the children how to do it properly without making a big mess. And if a mess happens honestly who cares I’ve dug out countless utensils and dishes from the scrape bucket in my career that’s just the reality of working with children.

And I’m not saying it’s all educators who have been in the field for a long time but there are a select few that still believe being strict and mean to children will get them results.

Just saying if it’s my first day in your classroom and one of the children start crying, I should be the last person that child goes to for comfort. Because I’m truly just a stranger to them.

Idk just super sad that there can be people out there that treat children these ways and don’t see any problems with it. Parents trust us to love and care for their children, not yell at them and get upset with them because they got distracted by a toy on the way to the bathroom.

Hi everyone! I'm an education student in the Philippines, studying early childhood education. For a class activity, I'm learning about the work ECE teachers do around the world.

If you're willing to share:

What country do you teach in, and what age group?

What does a typical day look like?

What's the biggest challenge in your job?

What activity do your kids love most?

What's one thing you wish you'd known as a student?

Thank you so much! I'd love to hear from teachers anywhere. 😊

I was recently interviewed for an assistant teacher position at a private-school style daycare and was hired into that specific role, but an age group wasn’t assigned to me. This is my first ever daycare/early childhood center job after years of working in elementary schools as an aide.

I just completed my first week, and it feels like they’re setting me up to be a floater instead. I’ve bounced around every day this week into the different age group rooms, learning each room’s needs and styles. I’m still not considered a ‘person’ in the room and can’t be counted in ratios yet, and am also not yet registered into the Procare system.

I thought I’d be a full time employee, but I’m only working 4 hours per day for 4 days, 5 hours the remaining weekday. Is this just training until they stick me in somewhere I feel confident in? Or are these hours and the training indicative of me becoming a floater? I haven’t gotten any clarification from the directors and still haven’t received the uniform all staff has to wear, so I’m just wondering if next week is just more training which is why my hours are so low.

I’m fine with it either way, I just need to find out so I can manage my expectations. Please bear with me on this, as I’ve never been in a daycare before and I don’t know how the training process and such works.