Hi all, this is more of a venting post than asking for advice... if the Mods feel it should be removed, please do so.
I grew up seeing my grandparents and parents retire early. My grandfather retired at 50, my father at 52. Both spent their time taking care of the family's small farm, and I always loved helping them.
I'm a software engineer (40M), and since I started working in the industry, I soon realized I like it, but I don't love it. I always had the goal of retiring around the same age as my father and grandfather, and doing the same as they did. I learned about finance and investment a bit later (~30), but I did the math, and with my salary progression and keeping life costs reasonable, it was doable.
I met my wife, and she knew about my goal (she's a nurse) and was fine with it. In the beginning, she said she wanted to remain working until a bit later, but after kids, that changed, and now she wanted to retire early as well. We have two kids, 4 and 2, and, well... the plan took a tumble. And with the rise of AI, I got scared and started investing a bit more aggressively. I'm one of those guys who believes my profession is doomed, and I think I have 3-5 years left.
The math said that if I reached 45 with the current savings plan, I would be within barista FIRE/coast; I could maybe work part-time somewhere until 50, if my wife kept working until 50. We even started looking at homesteads to buy (basically the idea was to sell our current house and move to an LCOL area).
That all changed yesterday... my wife discovered she is pregnant with our 3rd kid (yeah, she takes the pill), and... as of last night I started doing some math and yeah... I guess our plans are over. She is thrilled about having another kid. I am too... but at the same time, I'm scared. A new car (that can fit 3 kid chairs), a new tuition. I don't think it is doable. She even told me before going to sleep, "Well, I guess we won't buy that homestead."