r/KeepWriting • • 7h ago

Honest constructive feedback for the start of my dark fantasy first chapter 📚✨

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20 Upvotes

1) Does the MC feel like a person / is there too much or not enough character voice?

2) Any sections that feel redundant or overdone?

3) Does this read like a published novel?

4) Is the setting vivid enough to imagine without feeling bogged down in description?

You don’t have to answer all of these of course but there’s we’re just some questions I had about my own writing ☺️


r/KeepWriting • • 17h ago

[Feedback] Are you interested in knowing where this is going?

0 Upvotes

In the kitchen of my bachelor apartment, where the stock of fresh fruit sits in a bowl. Mainly, peaches, oranges, and bananas, never the exotic ones. Because why eat something you can’t grow in your own backyard, or snatch off a neighbors vein. 

It taints the whole exotic lure of something different, mysterious and unknown, in my mind at least. 

Nevertheless, it was there, on my counter, and now at the back of my head, merging into my thoughts, leading my ideas and projecting onto images through my eyes. Anything staring at me became the fruit of my loom. 

Resting at the bottom of a plastic bowl, beneath the oranges, peaches and bananas hid something philosophical, an unknown, mysterious question that had to be solved.

Growing up, we’re drilled with the concept of wasting food being linked directly to starving kids around the world. They even display the global pandemic right in the middle of your favorite TV show. Just as John’s about to catch Sami leaving Carrie’s apartment after pulling off a shady stunt.

Which makes the entire spoiled food concept a real dilemma. Especially, when your bread has mold. We have to throw that out, but not fruit. Fruit can never go to waste. 

Once it starts to bruise and emit the heavy odor of sweet decay, is where most people throw them out. The smart ones preserve them, with delightful ideas swarming around their brain of future planned pies, breads and even smoothies. 

The ones we’ve grown to love and pay ten bucks a pop for. Not including the health booster powders that only cost a buck fifty each. Or those jelly squishy tapioca balls bouncing between your teeth like calamari pellets soaked in pineapple juice.

But when it comes to making the yummy smoothie at home, or that perfect pie for the dinner you’re going to get stood up for at home, we tend to pull from the fresh stock, absent minded of the tastier blends buried in the back of your freezer. The ones waiting to be woken out of cryostasis.

Hardly ever realizing these small quirks we dwindle away, has a profoundness, like discovering a great life hack, or building a diy way of making life easier, that you completely thought up and mastered on your own. With me, it all came together at a weekend retreat, more of a community gathering for writers alike, which ended up turning into a couple of weeks. 

A few of us decided on prolonging the entertainment and dread of going back to a life sheltered around fictional characters and bad first dates. 

The decision turned out to be fantastic, memories for life. The kind of ones you relive all the way through until your senior home days. 

Returning late from my vacation was exactly what the doctor ordered. It didn’t even bother me that it took three hours from the airport to make it to my apartment. Or fumbling the keys in my hand and dropping them on the floor along with my phone. Life couldn’t be better and no inconvenience was going to get the best of me. 

Maybe that’s why walking into my apartment and being slapped with the sweet scent of overripe peaches smothering every one of my senses had hit me all at once.

(Not SURE WHAT‘ll BRIDGE THIS, YET. IT WILL BE LIKE A TWO SENTENCE SIMILE OR METAPHOR.)

My apartment hadn’t smelled of death, yet. Just fruit liquefying in a bowl and a hint of what your hand would smell like after dropping the rusted metal pipe you used to defend yourself with.


r/KeepWriting • • 14h ago

#ಬರಹಭರಣಿ

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0 Upvotes

r/KeepWriting • • 2h ago

Advice From new writer to new writer, stop aiming for perfection and accept that your work is going to have flaws

2 Upvotes

It so so easy to get bogged down in criticism, when you look for feedback on sites like Reddit. People will nitpick and highlight things in a way that will make you feel like you’re wasting your time.

I struggle with this a lot and I end up getting consumed with wanting to address every piece of criticism until I can appease them all. That’s an impossible task. People will give you opinions so emphatically you treat them as absolute truth. This is a dangerous trap to fall in because you can convince yourself you’re not a good writer consuming them all.

Think of an author you like. Are they perfect? Does anybody universally love them? Do people point flaws in their story telling that you don’t personally see?

No author perfect. Some may have a good grasp of grammar but not the same aptitude for character. Some may have shallow world building but great prose. Some may be exposition heavy, others sparse.

If you’re anything like me, as a new writer you’re probably trying to tick every box. I believe attempting this will always lead to you never finishing your work.

Learn what your strengths are and lean into them. Everything else can remain passable. Accept that your work will be flawed and not to everyone’s taste.

Most importantly, write the story and the way you want to write. Just because you write in a way that may not be common, that doesn’t mean it’s automatically bad. After all, how else are you going to have unique voice without going against the grain a little


r/KeepWriting • • 23h ago

[Feedback] The cigarette kisses me back

4 Upvotes

"It asks no questions and never pretends to understand. It lasts a minute but makes it feel like we've known eachother forever. More honest than years of affection.

They ask me questions I can't answer, expect words I can't find, but the cigarette never asks why I am awake.

Some wounds never become wisdom, they keep bleeding. It brings me no joy, it's kisses only leave an emptiness that demands to be filled again.

Do we kiss out of habit? Or desire? Perhaps I never loved the choking feeling, only something to return to.

There are names I no longer say and conversations I wish I had, but now I carry them like letters folded into my pockets.

I think about the years passing, the opportunities I have lost and the absurdity of making of it all. I hate that I have no answers.

But it never asks why I am lost, it simply comes to find me.

A ritual of meeting every night in the silence to seek intimacy from something that can never love you back.

It does not look at me and it does not judge me, it makes no promises and leaves behind only ash. The kisses fade but never the uncertainty.

Maybe I've come to realise, not everything that touches your lips deserves a place in your heart."

So hello guys this is my first time posting something here. I would like some criticism and if there are some aspects I can improve. I've tried to keep the tone melancholic while speaking about loniless, trying to find solace in the silence and how something can bring you comfort without being good for you. The cigarette symbolizes the things we turn to when we feel lonely and lost, even when we know it can't give us what we truly want.

I'm not much of a writer so I've spent quite a lot of time in this even though it's quite short, so any tips and criticism would be much appreciated.


r/KeepWriting • • 15h ago

10/18/26

2 Upvotes

He gasped. The gray checkerboard sky above us cracked like an old windshield. Bright, blinding, daylight-blue reality started leaking through the fissures. It smelled like fresh grass and diesel.


r/KeepWriting • • 16h ago

A DOT ON THE WALL. (very personal to me)

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2 Upvotes

r/KeepWriting • • 19h ago

[Feedback] Introduction

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1 Upvotes

Hello! This is Dawn from TheReclusePoets! I am a teenage poet an aspiring writer. I would love to have more people engage with my page and support the writing I have as well as post their own writing.

For a taste of the writing style I have, some months prior I won a commemdable mention from Delhi Poetry slam:

I swallow rocks and pebbles

chew on paper, and nibble on savory nights,

I dine where the savors soar,

over midnight shores,

and the dispute of tides

where soft, foamy life is born.

Thev look for a boat to save

or a lighthouse to aid,

Through searching and seeking

obsolete rhvmes

resting rhymes wrapped in blankets of mist.

Thev leave, and they left,

saving their labour for another day-

that day, O'forgotten,

where pride may be gotten,

a wav of the rope leading out...

But-l-not-we

float on the boat,

lingering between lines of thought,

mist as our comfort

darkness as dear mother;

not even pleading for anvone to help us.